Chapter Text
"Oh nonsense, Yuzhi."
It was a clear sign to Chen Yuzhi that Jiang Yuelou had had more to drink than was good for him, or rather good for them both, when he called him by his first name in public with that purring undertone in his voice.
"Okay, what have you two been up to? What do you want from us."
"It's no big deal, Dr. Chen," Jin Dacheng now joined in the conversation.
Chen Yuzhi suspected something bad. It was always a big deal when someone emphasized that it was no big deal, and if Jin Dacheng and Jiang Yuelou were involved... who knows what disaster was about to befall them.
"What's this about?" Chu Ran seemed to be getting impatient, which Chen Yuzhi didn't quite understand. The longer this could delayed, the better, at least if he would have his way.
"Let me ask a question first," Jiang Yuelou replied.
"Which of us is the better policeman?"
The three not or not quite so drunk hesitated and uncertainty spread across their faces.
That must be a trick question, Chen Yuzhi thought to himself.
"You'd better not answer it," he whispered, hoping that Chu Ran and Song Rong understood him.
"Eyy, that's unfair, Jiang Yuelou," Jin Dacheng grumbled.
"The three of them aren't neutral at all. Their answer doesn't count. I want physical proof."
"Okay, okay, Dacheng, you're right and that's what we agreed on anyway."
Then he turned back and looked alternately from Chen Yuzhi to Chu Ran.
"It won't take long and it's nothing bad," Jiang Yuelou began.
By the gods, what cruel fate awaits us? Chen Yuzhi heard his own desperate voice in his head.
"Jin Dacheng and I have been thinking about how to answer this question fairly. A mere race, for example, would be too easy for this. It has to be a bit more difficult."
"So... and how can one of us help you with this?" Chen Yuzhi asked hesitantly.
"Two of you, actually. You and Chu Ran have to let yourselves be carried."
"WHAT?" they both asked at the same time.
"Simple, I'll carry you, Yuzhi, and Jin Dacheng will take Chu-"
"No way," Song Rong intervened determined and pushed himself a little more in front of Chu Ran. Jin Dacheng and Jiang Yuelou instinctively backed away a little. They weren't used to the calm policeman having such a threatening look in his eyes.
The two men put their heads together and whispered for a few seconds. Then Jin Dacheng looked up and kept an eye out for Zhong Yiren. She was still sitting upright at the table, perhaps not yet too drunk to be of use to them.
"I'll get her," he said quietly to Jiang Yuelou and went to her.
"Yuelou, what kind of stupid idea is this?" Chen Yuzhi hissed
"It's a good idea, it'll work. We just have to win."
"Forget it."
"Come on Yuzhi!"
"How are you going to carry me? Piggyback?"
"Princess style."
"WHAT??? How will you... I'm taller than you."
"Don't argue, Yuzhi."
"Yuelou, no!"
"Ah... come on. Don't be a killjoy. Look, I bet, even Yiren let Jin Dacheng carry her."
Sure enough, Jin Dacheng came back with Zhong Yiren in tow a few seconds later.
"How can you be so coy?"
Jiang Yuelou looked at him, pouting a little. Chen Yuzhi grunted softly.
"Yuelou, you are my worst nightmare."
"I'm not," he answered, only to lean towards Chen Yuzhi a second later and whisper in his ear, "...and I know you love me."
Jiang Yuelou had used his strongest weapon against Chen Yuzhi. His open way of showing him that he loved him and that he knew Chen Yuzhi reciprocated that love. And Chen Yuzhi knew that Jiang Yuelou knew that he was making him weak when he acted like this. Jiang Yuelou knew damn well that Chen Yuzhi had nothing to oppose him in moments like this.
"Fine."
Jiang Yuelou had won this fight. He was completely convinced that he would also win the one against Jin Dacheng.
The starting line, where everyone stood two minutes later except Sun Yongren, who was still sleeping off his intoxication with his head on the tabletop, was formed by two of the fire baskets. The parkour was very simple. Straight ahead, about a hundred meters, to two more fire baskets, turn around them and then back to the starting line.
"If no one makes it, it's a draw, Jin Dacheng, then we'll do it again tomorrow," Jiang Yuelou growled, highly focused on the goal and his task.
"Definitely," Jin Dacheng replied with a similarly grim expression.
Chu Ran and Song Rong stood about a meter behind the others. Song Rong had taken out his whistle and was preparing to give the starting signal.
Chen Yuzhi and Zhong Yiren stood in front of the other two men and waited to be lifted up. Zhong Yiren looked surprisingly impassive, which was probably due to the alcohol. In any case, she was slurring her words clearly. An indifferent, "Why not?" had been enough for Jin Dacheng's approval to drag her into this.
The doctor, on the other hand, didn't look indifferent at all, quite the opposite. He looked more like he was going to realize how stupid and embarrassing this idea actually was at any moment and run away. Jiang Yuelou's hand was tense, ready to strike at any moment if Chen Yuzhi made even the slightest suspicious move.
Song Rong cleared his throat.
"On your marks!"*
Chen Yuzhi and Zhong Yiren positioned themselves in front of Jiang Yuelou and Jin Dacheng so that it would be as easy as possible for them to grab and lift them up. Zhong Yiren more or less had to be positioned by Jin Dacheng and had no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck, otherwise she would probably have simply fallen over. No one had any objections. Jiang Yuelou knew that he would win anyway.
"Get set."
Jin Dacheng lifted Zhong Yiren up, she clung onto him a little tighter. Nothing special. Jiang Yuelou picked up Chen Yuzhi. It only worked after the second attempt. Chen Yuzhi also clung onto Jiang Yuelou's neck, but with much more force because he was afraid that Jiang Yuelou's arms would give way if he didn't support him a little. Jiang Yuelou was no longer quite so convinced that he would win, but he would see this through to the end.
"Go."
The whistle shrilled.
The two opponents took their first steps. Jiang Yuelou felt for a moment that his knees would just give way, but he took all his willpower and put one foot in front of the other.
It became a little easier once he got into a certain rhythm. Jin Dacheng, however, had already walked more than half the way to the other two fire baskets.
"Why are you so heavy," Jiang Yuelou asked, his head red as an apple.
"Oh, now you're complaining. Maybe you should have thought about it earlier. We can stop this at any time."
"Never, forget it."
"My goodness, you're stubborn. Go on then, at least I don't want to lose by such a big margin. Try a little harder."
Jiang Yuelou adjusted Chen Yuzhi a bit in his arms and tried to walk faster. The doctor's words actually seemed to spur him on and he picked up some speed. His head looked as if one of the thick veins on his forehead would burst at any moment when he reached the fire basket, which he then had to circle. He was halfway through the race, but Jin Dacheng was still almost fifty meters ahead of him.
"Okay, final sprint, Yuzhi, it's definitely going to be bumpy."
"Don't let me fall. You're lucky I didn't drink that much, otherwise I would have thrown up on your shoulder long ago."
Before Jiang Yuelou could even start the final spurt, the two of them first heard a loud, "Blaaarghhhh," and then an even louder, "Ewww," paired with a thudding sound. Jin Dacheng was not as lucky as Jiang Yuelou, because Zhong Yiren had drunk much more than Chen Yuzhi.
Jin Dacheng had reflexively pulled one arm out from under Zhong Yiren. Fortunately, it was the one he used to hold her legs, so that her feet landed on the ground a little roughly but without any risk of injury. Her arms were still draped around his neck. His left shoulder and one of her sleeves were soaked in something that should not be further described. Something unpleasant dripped onto the ground beside them.
"This is our chance," Jiang Yuelou remarked triumphantly and started moving again.
With a victorious grin on a face that still glowed red like a New Year's decoration, he walked towards Jin Dacheng. Beads of sweat dripped from his forehead and by now his gait looked more and more like that of a waddling duck, but he bravely continued on his way, even though he could barely feel his arms anymore.
Jin Dacheng’s almost venomous gaze followed him as he waddled past him and Zhong Yiren, now almost in slow motion. Just before the finish line, perhaps five or six steps away, Jiang Yuelou realized that Chen Yuzhi was threatening to slide down.
"Hold on, Yuzhi, we're almost there."
Jiang Yuelou was panting heavily.
"If you have a heart attack, I won't treat you, then I'll let Dr. Qiu do it. You know how he thinks about you and your relationships with doctors, with the exception of me."
Jiang Yuelou huffed, but he lacked both the strength and the breath to respond snappishly.
"He reaches the courtyard with toil and with dread, "** Chen Yuzhi muttered in English as Jiang Yuelou reached the fire that marked the finish line.
After Jiang Yuelou lowered him down, the policeman paused in this strange position for a moment, his knees half-bent.
"Are you alright, Yuelou?"
By now, Jiang Yuelou had propped himself up on his thighs and was breathing greedily. He raised a hand to signal to Chen Yuzhi that all was well, but that he couldn't answer right now.
Chen Yuzhi looked around. It seemed that no one but the two of them had noticed his glorious victory. Chu Ran and Song Rong had rushed to Jin Dacheng and Zhong Yiren. While Chu Ran led the latter to a table, Song Rong handed Jin Dacheng a towel that one of the servants had had the presence of mind to organize.
After Jin Dacheng had removed the worst of the indescribable, he turned his gaze back to Jiang Yuelou and then walked towards him. He was definitely not pleased.
"It was the alcohol's fault, that's why I lost."
"You said you wouldn't whine."
"I don't mean the stuff I drank, I mean her."
Jin Dacheng pointed to Zhong Yiren, who was sitting next to Chu Ran at the table and had now entered the depressive phase of an alcoholic binge, crying snot and water and complaining about how pitiful she actually was and repeatedly affirming that she would never drink so much again.
"I need something fresh to wear," Jin Dacheng said grumpily and went into the house. This whole incident seemed to have sobered him up quite a bit.
"I knew this was a stupid idea," Chen Yuzhi grumbled.
"But I've won."
"Well, first of all, we have won, and secondly, if anything hurts tomorrow, don't come to me for treatment. I'm sure you can take care of your sore muscles or whatever else is ailing you on your own, and now let's go home."
"Yuzhi, don't be like that."
Jiang Yuelou sounded a little remorseful. Chen Yuzhi, however, showed no pity, but turned around and walked towards the house to call a cab.
"Yuzhi."
"We're going home, Commissioner Jiang."