Chapter Text
His mind is a storm of emotions unlike anything he’s ever felt.
It had been strange that morning, to be seated at a table with his senior staff - but forced to play along with the charade of the holodeck. The surrealism had been startling and he’d been quiet most of the council meeting if only because he found it awkward, and worried he might say or do something out of character. Frankly he isn’t sure where Captain Picard starts and King Picard ends, and what lines have been blurred between fantasy and reality. He remembers everything that took place on the holodeck prior to his reality check, but now he is acutely aware of every little thing in this false reality the Cardassians have forced upon them.
And Beverly . . .
Maybe it had been selfish of him, he thinks, to go to bed with her while she was not quite herself, her mind still pinned in the falsehoods of the holodeck. He felt as if he’d somehow deceived her and yet, watching her sleep and tracing delicate patterns across her bare skin in the early morning hours - it was a dream. A beautiful, wonderful dream that he has committed to his memory in desperate attempts not to ever forget. He fears it might be the only time he will have to share her bed; their relationship outside of this holodeck fantasy is complicated at best, and while they easily fit together as close friends, they’ve never quite crossed that boundary.
The storm of emotions continues to brew, waging a war in him that he feels entirely unable to win. On one hand, he is torn between playing the part of king, of husband - but he worries what might happen when Beverly and the others are pulled from the mindset of the holodeck and back into their day to day lives. Surely their relationship cannot return to what it was, though she’s likely to pretend as such, knowing her. Or even distance herself - and he fears that most of all. His feelings toward her have been bottled up for some time, Jean-Luc unable to bring himself to intrude on her relationship with Jack, even this many years after his death. Worried it might somehow damage his trust and friendship with Beverly, that he might lose her forever.
And now he still might, when the fallout of this forced imprisonment on the holodeck is over.
Worse still, she might hate him, accuse him of taking advantage of the situation. His stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought. Last night had been a mistake, the fact that he had lost himself in pleasure and bliss in her arms when he had his own wits about him and she - well, she believed them to be married, what else would she think? He lifts a hand to his temple, rubbing at the headache coming on - he doesn’t know what to think anymore. Or how he will handle the emotional fallout once this is all over.
For now, he simply has to focus on the task at hand - getting them free of the Cardassians, restore their own minds, and take back control of the ship.
After the council meeting, he needs air - so he goes to the gardens. It seems the safest place, and perhaps he’ll be able to find some sort of weakness there; a way to access the holodeck controls. Simulations always had hidden safety nets somewhere, it was just a matter of finding one that would allow him or Wesley or Data to disable everything without wiping the memories of everyone still wrapped up in the simulation. No easy feat, especially if the Cardassians were keeping an eye on them - he wasn’t convinced that some of the minor staff around the castle were Cardassians in disguise somehow, monitoring from within while others gallavanted about the Enterprise .
He also has to investigate without alerting the others, who have no idea this isn’t their true lives. The last thing he needs is for them to declare him unfit and insane and throw him in a dungeon cell. Thankfully Worf and Will are investigating their Cardassian visitors. Deanna had gone into the city, and Wesley was . . . well, he wasn’t sure if the boy was in or out of the holodeck currently; he hadn’t been at the council meeting that morning. That left Beverly - who trailed ahead of him on the gravel path through the orchids. She’s attached to them, carefully tending to them despite the fact that there are gardeners to do so. Some underlying instinct, he assumes, recalling her small plethora of the flowers in her own quarters.
His gaze sweeps every bush, hedge, and stonework for any indication it might hide a panel, but nothing sticks out. Of course it wouldn’t be easy - otherwise Wesley would’ve found it already.
“. . . Jean-Luc.”
Dimly aware he’s being addressed, he lifts his head to find Beverly staring at him expectedly.
“Hm?”
“You haven’t listening to a word I’ve been saying, have you?” She arches a brow, and he has the decency to look a bit sheepish.
“I admit my mind has been wandering.”
“I’ve noticed. You seemed a million miles away earlier. You still are.” She stops preening the flowers and turns to close the few steps between them. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Only thinking.” He promises, though he can tell she doesn’t believe him.
“If you need more rest, Jean-Luc, no one can blame you. The ordeal you’ve endured - perhaps you might find some solace in Wesley as well. A common ground. I’ve been worried about him, too. His distance.” Beverly lowers her head for a moment, and he grabs her hands instinctively.
“I am fine. Simply mulling over the thought of our ‘guests’.” He assures.
“I just don’t want to see you pull away from everyone. If you need to talk, or there’s something I can do -”
“You do more than enough, and more than I could ever ask, Beverly.” And it’s true, both here and in the reality of the Enterprise . He relies on Beverly as his closest friend, his most trusted one. No one else in the universe knows him the way she does, and it’s a fact that perhaps he’s taken advantage of in the past. Relied on her always being there when there’s a good chance down the line that there will come a time when they will be forced to part ways again.
“I only worry about you. You seem not like yourself.”
“Forgive me. It’s just these Cardassians on my mind. I worry about their presence in my absence, and if they continue to linger in our land.”
“We’ve not had any reports that they’ve crossed back across the border.” Beverly offers. “The escort I sent has been adamant they haven’t doubled back.”
“Still, I don’t trust them.”
“Neither do I.”
It should be strange how easily they converse, but Jean-Luc finds it no different than their usual conversations in the mornings over breakfast. The gentle ease as they talk, working through issues presented - it should be no different than their interactions on the Enterprise proper. It seems that in any universe the might find companionship with each other. It should comfort him, but instead he continues to feel like an outsider. An imposter in her life - or what she believes to be her life currently. He wishes he could tell her, reveal to her the truth of their capture and imprisonment in the holodeck, but she wouldn’t understand in her current state of mind, the Cardassian influence too strong to overcome without further interference.
He is alone in this simulation; a stranger in a strange land. Wesley is his only ally and even then his appearances are haphazard based on his own explanation. To know that he and Data are fighting to regain control of the ship doesn’t sit well with him; he feels useless in his current state, trapped in the holodeck. He needs to find a way to disable everything and bring the staff back to their senses so they might have a chance at repelling the Cardassians.
Frankly he’s neglected to realize just how much he tends to rely on Beverly as a sounding board - without her to be able to understand, Jean-Luc struggles to find some other outlet of his thoughts related to the issue at hand. He has yet to find words to weave an excuse, so he cannot speak of the issue at all. For all Beverly and the others know, the Cardassians are merely another country set on conquering their kingdom. The reality is so much more worse.
Despite it all, he tries to talk of safer things while he and Beverly are in the garden. Castle upkeep and plans to strengthen their numbers quietly with the soldiers at their disposal. Not quite preparing for war, but ready in case there is an attack and they must defend. As much as he wants to take the fight to the Cardassians, they have the upper hand at the moment and he can't risk the lives of his crew while they're locked up here. It's the exact sort of situation that frustrates him, mostly because he feels utterly helpless. His mind spirals back to it over and over again. Even with his mind now his own, there is little to do but keep playing the charade while searching for a way to disable the holodeck program from the inside - without risking the brains of his crew.
The day settles into a safe routine and after lunch, he sends Beverly off to spend time with Deanna while he goes to his study under the guise of resting with a good book. Beverly seems reluctant - whether she worries or doesn't trust him to simply ‘read’ he isn't sure. In truth she seems just as wound up as he is without the added weight of reality, so she needs the relaxation as much as he does. With a kiss to her brow and a promise of no trouble from him, she finally relents and goes off to catch up with her friend.
Jean-Luc is just about to weigh his options of exploring other areas of the castle when there's the sudden groan of a mechanism behind him and one of the bookshelves shudders, swinging open into the room like a door. Instinctively he reaches for his phaser - but of course it isn't there, and he's not laden with his sword either. Entirely unarmed against a would be intruder.
“I thought she'd never leave.”
It's only Wesley who emerges from the narrow passage the bookshelf had concealed, a torch in his hand.
“What on earth , Wesley?”
“Sorry, Captain.” He steps more into the room. “I didn't want her to catch me; I get the feeling I'd be trapped in a talk for hours on how distant I'm being.”
“You heard your mother and I talking.” Jean-Luc says; it isn't a question.
“I worry spending too much time near her would make the Cardassians do something to her if they caught me trying to sabotage their simulation and ship wide takeover.” He replies. “The crew are still trying to stay in line, but they're getting restless. I'm worried if we don't get the others out of here soon, the crew will take matters into their own hands and if things go south, they might shut down the program with you all still in it.”
“Given your grave expression, I can't imagine that's a good thing.”
Wesley shakes his head.
“I've had an idea though. Come with me.”
Jean-Luc glances at the closed door to his study, then nods once. He follows Wesley into the secret passage, taking the flickering torch and holding it aloft. Wesley grabs the shelf and drags it back into place behind them, sealing them into the damp and cobweb filled hallway. The air is stale and still and coupled with the narrowness between the walls it feels almost claustrophobic.
“This way.” Wesley shuffles around Jean-Luc with some difficulty and takes the torch again, then presses forward into the darkness.
Thankfully Wesley seems to know very well where he's going as he calls out stairs or dips in the stonework to Jean-Luc so he isn't surprised. The passage stays quite narrow as they wind down a stone staircase beyond what he thinks must be ground level of the castle as a whole. The path levels out a bit and he can see ahead there are shafts of light that briefly penetrate the ceiling; as they pass beneath them, Jean-Luc can see into what he assumes is the gardens - no wonder Wesley had heard Beverly talking about him.
“You’ve been doing quite the exploring.” Jean-Luc remarks.
“I found these passages by accident when I was searching for a way into the holodeck controls. They go all over the castle, and some come out beyond the city walls. Probably built as an emergency escape for the royals if the city came under siege.” Wesley explains as they come to a crossroads. The tunnels split off in three alternate directions ahead.
“The left leads under the courtyards and splits off again to lead out to the forests, or a concealed cove on the beach by the sea.” Wesley gestures with the torch and as the flame illuminates the wall, Jean-Luc can see worn carvings in the stone that depict trees and ocean waves. Crudely, but the marks are there if one knew to look. Wesley moves on to the path that’s straight ahead.
“The right path loops back into the castle and into the other wing. I haven’t fully explored the other two that branch off, but they’re probably dead ends into other rooms. This way,” Wesley continues as they walk. Jean-Luc can feel the path slope down again. “Leads back down into the dungeons. Prisoners could be brought from the sea directly into the cells this way, I think.”
“Good to know.” Jean-Luc replies slowly as Wesley leads them down another set of stairs that spiral down around a stone column. His fingers brush the brick where there are divots - as if many people have tried to grab onto the walls to keep from being dragged down into the darkness. The thought sends a shiver up his spine. He has to remember this is all for show, that the holodeck has created this program and the lore that goes with it. No one has ever truly suffered here - except those currently trapped without their knowledge.
Mentally he makes a note to have the guards work with Wesley to ensure these tunnel entrances and exits are known; he doesn’t want the Cardassians to use it against them. He is still trying to decide if the Cardassians who appeared to Beverly and the others in his absence are the real thing, playing into the simulation, or if they’ve been programmed as the villains in this particular program. Something else he needs to find out if they’re to have any hope of fighting back against them.
The path ends at a worn wooden door that Wesley shoulders open. It leads out into the dungeons; Jean-Luc has never been in them, but there is a vague memory supplied by the holodeck program that he has . It’s a strange feeling, the false memories available to him for the sake of the simulation. He’s reminded again that his persona has a whole backstory (that revolves quite a bit around Beverly) before Jean-Luc stepped into the role. Or was forced. It’s frankly all giving him a permanent headache.
The dungeons are dimly lit with other flickering torches. Wesley puts the one he carries into an empty wall bracket. The room is lined with old cells with iron bars and heavy, thick locks that look like they weigh half a ton. There are no prisoners at the moment, the cells empty and waiting.
“I wanted to make sure we were somewhere we wouldn’t be heard.” Wesley offers as he skims the cells just to be sure they’re alone. The only other exit is another heavy door on the opposite end of the room that he assumes is the normal entrance, and heavily guarded (or would be, were there prisoners). “Well, mostly. You can come out, Data.”
From the last cell emerges a familiar and most welcome sight; Data, looking starkly out of place in his uniform.
“It is good to see you, Captain.”
“Likewise, Data. Report.”
“The ship is currently en route to Cardassian space. Our computers are being searched for intel, but the protocols are keeping them locked out for now. Their true intent is still unknown, however I have been able to ascertain these Cardassians are a splinter group from the general population. At last check, the Federation maintains a shaky accord with Cardassia - this splinter group seems to resent it, and I believe their plan is to make an example of the Enterprise and it’s crew to fuel a declaration of war.” Data relays efficiently. Jean-Luc feels his stomach sink. The situation is more complicated than he’d thought.
“I am being forced to cooperate, but know that I am doing it while delaying as much as possible.” Data adds, and Jean-Luc shakes his head.
“Don’t endanger yourself, Data. If you can delay them without them knowing, so be it. But do not risk their wrath. That goes for you as well, Wesley.”
“Well . . . “ Wesley glances sideways at Data. “They don’t know I exist.”
“Explain.”
“I was able to break out of where they’re holding some of the crew not being used as slave labor for the ship. I used the Jeffries Tubes to try and get to where they were holding you and the other senior staff - and I found out it was on the holodeck. I’ve been sneaking around the ship without them knowing.”
“If your mother knew you were doing such a thing - “
“She’d kill me, I know.” Wesley raises his hands defensively. “But I was still able to get to you and get your mind unlinked. I just need your help getting the rest of them.”
“I haven’t been able to find an access panel so far. These programs keep them very well hidden. There’s no chance of overriding the outside controls?”
“They’ve disabled them by destroying them.” Data confirms. “To my current knowledge, the Cardassians are only keeping you and the senior staff distracted by this simulation until they can decide your use. A few of the group have mentioned bargaining chips with the Federation, while others have suggested brainwashing.”
“If they can be convinced we’re better off as a bargaining chip, they might release us.” Jean-Luc offers, though there’s no real belief behind it. The Cardassians will use them and kill them. They must be stopped. The helpless feeling from before returns tenfold until Jean-Luc is nearly ill. He cannot do much on his own, stuck in this simulation. He could be injured again and force their hand to heal him in sick bay where he could escape, but with no immediate plan it would be useless. He cannot risk the Cardassians retaliating by frying the brains of the crew still trapped within the holodeck - Beverly, Deanna, Riker, Geordi, Worf . . . their loss cannot be worth the risk of some one-man martyrdom.
“I believe I’ve narrowed down where the internal controls for the holodeck may be hiding. It would need to be something safe and reliable within the simulation that wouldn’t be at risk of being damaged during the program. I have written them here, to be investigated.” Data produces a PADD and hands it to Jean-Luc. It almost feels strange, seeing the technology against the olden backdrop offered by the program.
“I’ll get it done. How long do you think you can continue to delay the Cardassians?”
“I am unsure. I will inform Wesley if things become too endangered and our timeline is decreased.” Data replies.
“And have they entered the program at all?”
Wesley grimaces.
“Unfortunately. A handful of the group are determined to treat the holodeck like a playground and ingrain themselves for the fun of it while they can.” Wesley scowls. “I can’t lock them out.”
“Don’t. We’ll handle things on our end appropriately. They can’t know I’m aware, so I’ll deal with it as my persona in this simulation would.” Jean-Luc vows as he tucks the PADD into his pocket for the time being. He’ll need to read it in detail later, and hide it where it would not be found errantly.
“I have also taken the liberty of establishing this.” Data removes a device that Jean-Luc doesn’t recognize. “If you can implant it within the holodeck controls, it will disable the rest of the neural interfaces the Cardassians are using to control the others. Once it is implanted, it will alert me and only me that you have activated it. I can then disable the holodeck simulation without the threat of destroying the crew’s minds by using the bridge override controls.”
“I can’t disable it at the same time?”
“It is possible, but you must be sure the device emits it’s signal to dampen the neural interfaces before the simulation is deactivated. There are instructions on the PADD, should I be unable to deactivate it from the bridge myself.”
“You mean if the Cardassians stop you.” Jean-Luc’s lips press into a thin line of concern. Data nods.
“We have a plan, once the interfaces are disabled.” Wesley tries to assure him but it does the exact opposite - mostly because he can guess it involves the young Crusher acting as bait to draw Cardassian attention while Data accesses the controls from the bridge. After all, it’s what Jean-Luc would do.
“I will handle finding the controls on our end, and dealing with the Cardassians who seem to think this is their playground.” Jean-Luc says firmly. “Don’t endanger yourselves too unnecessarily. If I haven’t found anything in a few days time, we should regroup.” He continues and Data nods once. He looks at Wesley. “I promised your mother you’d be safe. I don’t want to go back on that promise. If it’s too dangerous, I’d rather you here on the holodeck with us. It would be easier to hide you.”
“I need to lie low for a while so they don’t start detecting me in the Jeffries tube. I’ll stay and help you try and deal with the Cardassians here.” Wesley agrees, though there is reluctance in his voice. “I’ll be a back up alert, Data. In case the Captain and I find the controls. I don’t know what else the Cardassians are going to try and tear into on the computers.” A pause. “Or you.”
“I am their only connection to try and access the information in our systems. I doubt they will dismantle me, Ensign.” Data replies stoically. “But I agree with the Captain that you would be safer hidden among the holodeck for some time. They have been increasing patrols on the ship as a whole and I worry you could be caught.”
“We won’t let them win.” Jean-Luc vows. “Data, are there any chances we can get a message to the Federation, ask for aid?”
“Negative, Captain. It was my first course of action and it was blocked immediately. I am afraid we are on our own.”