Chapter Text
Scott and Joel
3 Feb 24
2:16am
Scott: SOS
Scott: please Joel
Scott: please
Joel: what
Joel: oh shit okay
Joel: I'm getting up ill be over in 15 at most okay?
Scott: okay
Joel: toss the key out your window in 10 and I'll let myself in yeah?
Scott: okay
Joel: alright just gonna let Lizzie know and I'll be omw
Scott: I'm sorry
Joel: Nah it's alright
Joel: promise
Scott: <3
Grian and Mumbo
3 Feb 24
10:01am
Grian: What are you doing Friday?
Mumbo: Friday? Um... I have a morning shift. Why?
Grian: Great. If I get my afternoon covered, do you want to hang out?
Mumbo: Oh? Yeah?
Grian: yeah? you don't sound sure lol
Mumbo: no no! not at all! I just
Mumbo: didn't expect it
Grian: yeah well I told you didn't I
Grian: I'm working on being a better friend
Grian: anyway, I wanna take you somewhere
Mumbo: Take me somewhere specific or just somewhere generally?
Grian: Specific
Mumbo: what is it?
Grian: well I'm not gonna tell you that am I
Mumbo: why not? /:{|
Grian: It'd ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?
Mumbo: oh it's a surprise is it?
Grian: Yep
Mumbo: alright then
Mumbo: yeah I guess I could hang out then
Grian: brill i’ll let you know the details closer to the day
Mumbo: I’m both afraid and intrigued
Grian: excellent, that is exactly what I’m aiming for
Mumbo: pfft weirdo
Grian: :)
Jimmy and Scott
3 Feb 24
10:45am
|
3:45pm
Jimmy: eyup you
Scott: hey
Jimmy: Rough night I hear?
Scott: mmhr
Jimmy: I'll take that as a yes then hehe
Jimmy: Joel texted me
Scott: I figured
Scott: sorry that sounded blunt it wasn't meant to be
Jimmy: nah, it's okay :)
Scott: hi
Jimmy: hey :)
Jimmy: you wanna talk about it?
Scott: theres not much to talk about honestly... I had a low and it was low enough for me to send Joel an SOS
Jimmy: yeah, I heard.
Scott: thats pretty much all there is to it tbh
Jimmy: I'm sorry bud :(
Jimmy: how are you feeling now? How was your day?
Jimmy: what time is it for you rn? Like 4ish?
Scott: yeah like ten to
Scott: and my day was kind of… eh?
Scott: Joel made me book in with the doctor
Jimmy: that's good that's probably for the best, innit?
Scott: probably
Scott: but it's annoying though
Jimmy: I know lad, but they're gonna try and find something to help you, yeah? Get you feeling back to your old self again
Scott: sorry to break the news to you, Jimmy, but this is kind of what I've always felt like
Scott: there isn’t really an “old self” that didn't feel this way
Jimmy: oh
Jimmy: really?
Scott: as long as I can remember, i’ve always felt like this, yeah
Jimmy: like… low?
Scott: sad I guess
Scott: but not just… sad , like… idrk what it feels like to not feel a constant level of background sadness hah
Jimmy: even back when we were together?
Scott: just always, I guess
Scott: since I was like 9 or something
Jimmy: really?? as young as that??
Scott: yeah
Scott: are you really that surprised to learn this about me?
Jimmy: no sorry it's just
Jimmy: idk that seems so young to be dealing with feelings like this is all
Scott: I didn’t really know any different
Scott: i don’t remember much before that
Jimmy: what about your mum?
Scott: i remember her in essence
Scott: but everything is kind of cloudy before that
Jimmy: wasn’t there anyone you could’ve spoken to about it? Like when you were younger?
Scott: well it’s like I said, Jim, I didn’t really know any different and honestly, who would I have even gone to about it?
Scott: i went to a tiny christian primary school and it’s not like my dad is one to talk much about feelings, is it? The first and last time I saw him cry was at the funeral
Jimmy: yeah i guess he is a bit emotionally constipated your dad
Scott: and then I got to bellamy and i didn’t even have a chance to make friends before I got outed and then I did make a friend and it was Joel and by the time I met the rest of you i was just
Scott: i don’t know… kind of used to it, i guess?
Scott: it wasn't like I was purposefully keeping it from you Jim
Jimmy: I know
Jimmy: i do know that
Jimmy: just wish I'd noticed sooner is all… wish i’d been smart enough to work it out for myself
Jimmy: of course you weren’t okay
Jimmy: i just feel like a bit of a shit boyfriend for not having done anything about it when i had the chance
Scott: well, to your defence… it’s not like you knew me to be any other way, did you?
Jimmy: I suppose not… idk
Scott: I'm sorry I didn't tell you
Jimmy: I mean - in your defence, Scott - what was there to tell? You said you didn’t really know either, so what would you have said?
Jimmy: you basically didn’t know either, did you?
Scott: huh
Scott: I guess not?
Scott: at least I didn’t really think it was anything about me that could be potentially “fixed” lmao
Scott: kinda thought it was just… me honestly
Jimmy: dude, you’re so lovely though? Like even when you were dealing with all this, you somehow found it in you to be so unbelievably kind and generous?
Scott: not really? I’ve been kind of an asshole to everybody for the last, like, year?
Jimmy: I don’t think so
Jimmy: I mean to me yeah, you were kinda mean as heck heh, but ya know :P
Scott: eek yeah lmao sorry about that
Jimmy: but generally I think you give yourself a harder time than you deserve
Jimmy: like idk if you remember it or if it was just out of habit, but like, you literally always went out of your way to make me happy, just like through the little things, you know?
Scott: mh
Jimmy: like remember how I’d always lose my charger down the side of the bed and you’d always fish it out for me by the time I’d get home and like, wedge or hook it into place for me?
Scott: well yeah but that’s because i have skinnier arms than you so it was just easier for me
Jimmy: or the way you’d wash my favourite mug for me in the morning rather than putting it in the dishwasher because you knew i liked to have my morning tea in it
Scott: it never took long
Jimmy: or how about when I needed to catch the train for a shoot and I could've driven myself and paid parking or worked out a bus or taxi but instead you’d always insist on taking me and picking me up again later?
Jimmy: or remember that time I was on location like an hour away and I forgot my spare batteries and you drove all the way up to get them to me? Do you? Cause I sure do
Scott: yeah well you hadn’t slept well and you were having a panic
Scott: and my work is flexi so it wasn’t a huge deal for me to start later
Jimmy: but that’s the thing scott
Jimmy: it kinda is a big deal? All these little things you’d do for me made my life so much easier and i’m so grateful i had you to get through those years
Jimmy: that I still have you, even now, even though we’re not together
Jimmy: you’re like a really really important part of a lot of people’s lives Scott
Jimmy: not just me, either, like Joel and Lizzie and Martyn and B
Jimmy: Grian and Mumbo, even
Jimmy: you’re absolutely amazing Scott and it sucks so much that you feel so low all the time cause you deserve so much better than that
Scott: Jim
Jimmy: yeah?
Scott: can you stop actually? With all the nice stuff?
Jimmy: oh
Jimmy: yeah sorry im sorry
Scott: it’s okay its just that ive kinda been on and off crying since last night and im getting deathly dehydrated heh
Scott: cant keep up heh
Jimmy: alright :) well as long as you know yeah?
Scott: i do, thank you <3
Jimmy: alright then let me change the subject a second
Jimmy: can I ask you something?
Scott: well technically you just did but…
Scott: go ahead
Jimmy: harhar
Scott: :P
Jimmy: hey there you are
Jimmy: my Scott :)
Scott: mmm well
Jimmy: no I didn't mean
Jimmy: I know you're not mine
Jimmy: just like you're being you and thats the you I remember and love
Jimmy: I mean not love love but you know
Jimmy: no actually, scrap that, i do mean love love
Jimmy: because I do
Jimmy: I love you Scott
Scott: I love you too Jim
Scott: I miss you
Jimmy: I miss you too
Scott: are you having a good time over there? Is Grian keeping you well?
Jimmy: yeah I am actually :) it's really good
Jimmy: I'm hanging out with Pearl and Tango and Grian and it's just like so nice??
Jimmy: like of course I love everyone back home and I can't wait to see everyone again but like
Jimmy: we never really had a hang out spot? we didn't really like... congregate, did we?
Scott: wow
Scott: sorry I'm just impressed with your use of the word congregate
Jimmy: bully
Scott: affectionately <3
Jimmy: ha!
Scott: but no, you're right, we didn't
Scott: this probably suits you better, doesn't it?
Jimmy: I just like getting to meet up and hang out whenever you know? someone is always on shift at the shop and it's so nice just to be able to go somewhere and see a friendly face you know?
Scott: I get it, like I said it suits you
Jimmy: are you working today?
Scott: nope
Jimmy: probably for the best, yeah?
Scott: Joel thinks the doctor might actually sign me off
Jimmy: oh?
Scott: yeah I wasn't... particularly well last night I guess
Jimmy: nah?
Scott: nah
Scott: I couldn’t really like… breathe for a bit and Joel couldn't really calm me down for a while
Jimmy: oh Scott :(
Scott: It’s okay… I’m just glad joel came over
Scott: I haven’t sent him an SOS since before we were together, but he sprung to it pretty much right away so
Scott: it was nice
Scott: the fact that he did kind of helped in itself
Jimmy: I’m genuinely really pleased to hear that Scott I really am
Jimmy: I’m really glad you and Joel are still close honestly
Scott: Me too
Scott: Hey, you wanted to ask a question?
Jimmy: Oh yeah! Hang on I need to remind myself hehe
Scott: I can wait
Jimmy: yeah you’re the best aren’t you?
Scott: heh well
Jimmy: okay I remember now!
Jimmy: I was gonna ask if you have a moving date?
Jimmy: if you’re still planning on that…
Scott: oh yeah
Scott: um, tbh im kinda freaking out about it still, but i'm on a rolling contract here so I can end my lease in like… a couple weeks?
Jimmy: omg nice!
Scott: but I guess that doesn’t stop me from moving out beforehand… maybe I’ll start moving stuff over next week?
Scott: we should talk about the rent situation btw: how we split it, if we need to speak to the estate agents etc.
Jimmy: yeah yeah, we will :) not now though, yeah? I bet you’re exhausted still
Scott: well, you know me… not exactly one to drop things if I can be distracted by them lmao
Jimmy: why don’t you have a nap, love? Have you slept much? Eaten anything?
Scott: Yeah, Joel made me me some pasta for lunch before he left
Scott: i hate being treated like a kid
Scott: especially when i'm acting like one
Jimmy: hehehe :P
Scott: Jim?
Jimmy: yeah?
Scott: thank you for calling me love
Jimmy: oh! I… I didn’t even think honestly, it just slipped out…
Scott: no worries heh
Jimmy: do you… want me to keep using it?
Scott: i mean you don’t have to
Jimmy: I’d like to… if you want me to
Scott: it doesn’t mean anything
Scott: I mean okay wait
Scott: it doesn’t mean we’re a couple in a relationship or anything romantic, is what I mean
Jimmy: course not
Scott: it means something to me
Scott: it means a lot to me, honestly
Jimmy: it’s just us, isn’t it? That’s what we said, wasn’t it?
Scott: maybe I could be your Love and you could be my Poppy?
Scott: I mean if you want
Scott: is that too much like straying into old habits?
Jimmy: does it matter?
Scott: I don't know… maybe?
Jimmy: doesn't matter to me
Jimmy: I feel more comfortable with where our boundaries are now Scott
Jimmy: we’re us and that's all it is, all it needs to be
Jimmy: yeah?
Scott: yeah
Scott: yeah okay
Jimmy: yeah! :D
Scott: anyway, you'll just have to make sure whatever we agree to is okay with your new boyfriend, too
Jimmy: eh?
Scott: just, you know, whenever that happens :)
Jimmy: oh um yeah alright
Scott: because you're a catch, Jim, and it's bound to happen sooner rather than later
Jimmy: pfft nah, you're on one, you are
Jimmy: do you really think so?
Jimmy: that I'm a catch, I mean?
Scott: mhm
Scott: you're the one that got away for me, but for the next guy or gal or whatever gendered pal you find?
Scott: absolute catch, poppy
Jimmy: oh Scott you're so sillyyyyy
Jimmy: stop it you :P
Scott: :)
Scott: anyway, I should probably go for that nap but speaking of
Jimmy: hm?
Scott: how is tango anyway?
Jimmy: Tango?
Jimmy: yeah he's good, why?
Scott: Just wondering ^^,
Scott: nighty night Poppy <3
Jimmy: yeah alright… sleep well, love
Jimmy and Scott
3 Feb 24
11:23am
|
4:23pm
Jimmy: WAIT I JUST GOT WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING
Jimmy: YOU ARE A NAUGHTY LITTLE MENACE SCOTT MAJOR
Scott: snork mimimimimi
Grian and ScarGT
3 Feb 24
4:35pm
Grian: we’re getting ready to close up for the afternoon
Grian: and when I say “we” I obviously mean I’m getting ready to close up because I've totally lost Tango to Tinny
ScarGT: Oh yeah you're done for
ScarGT: once those two strike up a match, the fire gets blazin’ and that train is as good as gone
Grian: kinda feel like you're mixing metaphors there, but I get what you mean lol
Grian: Hey, do you want me to bring you anything home?
Grian: like a coffee or a pastry? the pan au chocs didn't sell super well today so there's a couple left over
Grian: I could bring two back and maybe we could heat them up in the morning?
ScarGT: are you staying over tonight? ^^
Grian: oh um yeah I guess I did just invite myself didn't I whoops
ScarGT: no no it's nice! I like it
Grian: heh sorry scar
ScarGT: I like sharing my space with you G :-)
ScarGT: I mean jellie kinda hates it, but what does she know, she's a cat =^–•–^=
ScarGT: (that's her scowling btw)
Grian: ohhh I was trying to work it out but I see it now... I thought the little points were her eyes but they're her ears, aren't they?
ScarGT: they are yes :-P
Grian: very cute
ScarGT: just like someone else I know
Grian: oh yeah? and who might that be?
ScarGT: just a certain barista I’ve recently become acquaintedacqquanted with…
Grian: …
ScarGT: bit of a short temper, not much more in height… has quite the mouth on him ;-)
Grian: I'm going to kill you
ScarGT: what!
ScarGT: oh, come on, tell me you can resist the charms of the Bdubs and I'll call you a liar, sir!
Grian: you know what and because of that you'll never know the feeling of this mouth again
ScarGT: Nooooooooo!!!
ScarGT: I'll miss your kisses :-(
Grian: say that you don't fancy bdubs then
ScarGT: oh come on now, G!
Grian: say. it.
ScarGT: I do not fancy Bdubs
ScarGT: I fancy the other shortie in the shop :-)
Grian: if you say Tango
ScarGT: …
Grian: alright I'll go home after work then no pastries for you
ScarGT: noooo, im kidding im kidding!
ScarGT: please come home to me, G :-( I'm so looonely
ScarGT: pleeeease, I know how to groval :-(
Grian: mhm
ScarGT: orrrr maybe I could make it up to you? Maybe show you how this mouth feels? ^U^
Grian: omg scar
Grian: stop it omg
Grian: why do you just say stuff like that holy jesus christ
Grian: stop
ScarGT: sooo is that a no?
Grian: … I didn't say that
Grian: I said stop it right now
Grian: I didn't say don't restart later…
ScarGT: :-P
ScarGT: it's the Good Times charm, isn't it?
Grian: I dislike you
ScarGT: liar
Grian: how would you know?
ScarGT: oh you like me
Grian: do I?
ScarGT: Very much so
ScarGT: so much so that you're even thinking about becoming my boyfriend… :->
Grian: am I?
ScarGT: oh yes! :-)
Grian: news to me that is
ScarGT: well maybe you should follow the news more closely grian and you'll learn a thing or two about the world
ScarGT: was this too much?
Grian: well, it was a very you way to go about it, thats for sure
ScarGT: yeaaaaah I sure know how to do things, huh? ^^;
Grian: mhm
ScarGT: soooo
Grian: sooooooo
ScarGT: so… will you?
Grian: will I what
ScarGT: be my boyfriend? ^^;
Grian: let me check my calendar
ScarGT: wait your calendar? ^^;
Grian: yep and it looks like…
Grian: yeah I think I have an opening available
ScarGT: an opening?
Grian: omg scar
Grian: yes menance that's me saying yes
ScarGT: an opening for what exactly?
Grian: …
Grian: that was a joke Scar
ScarGT: oh!
ScarGT: so you mean…
Grian: yup
ScarGT: your my boyfrend???
Grian: something like that, yep
ScarGT: well that's
ScarGT: that's quite swell then isn't it :-)
Grian: quite swell indeed
Grian: soooo, see you at yours after then?
ScarGT: absolutely! :-)
ScarGT: I very much look forward to it
Grian: likewise
Java Circuit
3 Feb 24
4:58pm
ScarGT: HE DAID YES
ScarGT: JN A VERY ROUNSABOUT WAY BUT HE SAIS YES
Zedaph: yay!! \o/
Zedaph: what am I cheering for?
Skizz: omg Scar are you saying what I think you're saying rn? 0:-O
ScarGT: HES MY BOYFRIEND
ScarGT: HES MY BOYFRIEND YOU GUYS
Impulse: Congrats, Scar :)
ScarGT: this is the best day of my life
Tango: when did this happen I've been here with him the entire time
ScarGT: I beleeve you were preocuppied with tinny
Tango: what a snitch
Mumbo: hey congrats mate to both of you
ScarGT: thank you mumbo :-)
Mumbo: you make a good pair
ScarGT: I think so too :-DD
Hermit Coffee Co.
3 Feb 24
5:03pm
Broom in hand, Tango leans against the counter, grinning at Grian as he counts out the coins in the till.
He glances up and frowns at the man.
“What?”
“Boyfriends, huh?”
Grian snaps his head up, abandoning his count. He scowls at Tango, violated. “It just happened. How the hell?”
Tango snickers, fishes his phone out of his apron and shows it off. “I have my ways.”
“Scar messaged your group chat,” Grian deducts.
“All caps, typos galore,” Tango confirms with a smirk. “That man has it down bad for you, dude.”
Grian curses the warm flush he feels at his cheeks and the way the corners of his lips curl up without his permission.
He returns to his counting. “Yeah well,” he mutters, as Tango pushes away to return to his sweeping. “Feeling’s pretty mutual…”
Tango makes a high pitched giggle. “I heard that~”
Grian slams the till shut and dips behind the coffee machine to clean a portafilter instead.
“Leave me alone!” he calls out, desperately trying to ignore the feelings of fireflies flittering warm in his belly.
Impulse and Mumbo
3 Feb 24
5:08pm
Impulse: You okay?
Mumbo: oddly enough, I think so
Mumbo: I'm coming to terms with it
Mumbo: I mean Grian called me the other night and he and Scar slept together for the first time and i guess if I can survive that I can survive this ha
Impulse: You know, the Ha tacked on the end there makes me less inclined to believe you :P
Mumbo: yeah thats kinda fair
Mumbo: hey impulse can I talk to you about something actually?
Impulse: Of course, always. What's up?
Mumbo: I'm thinking about going home for a bit
Mumbo: not permanently mind you
Impulse: Oh, wow!
Mumbo: just for a couple months maybe… just to sort out some stuff at my parents old house
Impulse: Yeah? That's incredible, Mumbo. I’m so proud of you :)
Mumbo: Thanks Imp, you're a sweetheart
Impulse: D’aww, shucks :P
Impulse: When are you thinking?
Mumbo: ermmm like… later this month?
Impulse: Oh wow, soon!
Impulse: Does X know?
Mumbo: oh yeah he does, I talked about it with him before i made any real plans
Mumbo: he told me to just let him know when I'm going and when I'm back and my job will be waiting for me
Mumbo: big relief tbh haha
Impulse: Man, that's so awesome of him. How did we get so lucky?
Mumbo: I guess that's what nearly 4 years of service gets you haha
Impulse: True, true.
Mumbo: Yeah, so
Mumbo: what do you think? is it a good idea?
Impulse: Well, it sounds like it to me! If you feel ready for it. I know it's been haunting you for a while now, so as long as you’re feeling up to it, I think some time away might be nice :)
Impulse: I’m assuming if you've already made plans with X, this doesn't have anything to do with Scar’s latest news then?
Mumbo: nah
Mumbo: I mean, getting away from the new couple is kind of a bonus, but it's not for that specifically…
Mumbo: mostly it was just talking to Scott and the others about home and realising that i guess maybe it's time to rip the bandaid off
Impulse: Well, I support you in this decision all the way :)
Impulse: Have you told anyone yet?
Mumbo: Ermmm yeah that's kinda the thing
Mumbo: I haven't really told anyone ? You're the first
Impulse: Oh! I see. Well, I'm both flattered and a little bit surprised ^^;
Impulse: Don't you think you should maybe tell Grian sooner rather than later? I imagine he’s going to need some processing time to deal with you leaving.
Mumbo: you think so?
Mumbo: I mean I kinda just figured that having Scar as like… a main support for him now would like… ease the blow?
Impulse: Sure… to an extent, maybe… But you’re the reason he came here, remember? You leaving, for however long, is probably going to have an effect on him, don't you think?
Mumbo: I mean
Mumbo: yeah
Mumbo: I know you're right impulse I just
Mumbo: see here's the thing you might (shockingly) not know about me impulse I'm a bit of a coward
Impulse: Ahaha, no you're not! You’re just incredibly anxious and a little avoidant.
Mumbo: a little is generous but I'll take it
Impulse: Do you think maybe you could tell him in the next couple days?
Mumbo: he's taking me out somewhere on Friday so maybe then?
Impulse: That could be good!
Impulse: I’m also glad to hear you guys are taking time for each other again :) I know it's been hard for you lately.
Mumbo: he wants to be a better friend apparently
Mumbo: I'm kinda nervous tbh with you, but… hey it might be nice to have some one on one time again
Mumbo: we’ve called and texted and worked together, but we haven't spent any time together like in person, just us since probably before our friends came over
Impulse: Mhm. Some quality time is definitely needed then.
Mumbo: I'm just worried that things won't be as easy as they used to be, you know?
Mumbo: like we used to be so… loose with each other? sleep in the same bed kind of comfortable
Mumbo: now I have to keep in mind that he's got a boyfriend and to maybe keep my hands to myself a bit more
Impulse: I don't know… You were just friends before when you were doing all that, does it really have to be that different now?
Impulse: (Genuine question - you know I have very little idea about the difference between platonic and romantic relationships ^^;)
Mumbo: I don't know… it all felt like a precursor to something more than just being friends though.
Mumbo: So like, now that it's very much not becoming something more… I think maybe it can't be like that anymore.
Impulse: Hm.
Mumbo: What
Impulse: I don't know, just seems like a bit of a shame to me, is all. It sucks to know you have to stop being affectionate with your friends just because they now have an official SO.
Impulse: I can't imagine what I’d do if I had to stop being affectionate with Pearl just because Gem came around.
Impulse: Die a little, honestly ^^;
Mumbo: yeah well you kinda lucked out there, didn't you? You didn't have to change anything with Pearl, you just got a bonus Gem in the end, didn’t you?
Impulse: I know I'm lucky. Pearl and Gem have been amazing to me. I’m sorry that things can't be so fortuitous for you and Grian and Scar :(
Mumbo: thanks mate, I genuinely appreciate it
Impulse: But hey, if you're heading back, maybe you could see about picking things up with Scott again, hmmm?
Impulse: You guys seemed to get along pretty well when he was over ;)
Mumbo: heh
Mumbo: I am looking forward to seeing him again, yeah, I'll give you that
Mumbo: I don't know if it's going to be like that between us, but…
Mumbo: idk we’ll see I guess, he’s not my priority for going back, but yeah it'll be nice to have some more time with him heh
Impulse: I mean to be completely honest with you, dude, what you had going on with him when he was here seemed like the perfect set up to me.
Impulse: But I know I'm built differently to the rest of you, so :P
Mumbo: you sure are bud and that's part of why we love you so much
Mumbo: definitely part of why I love you so much
Impulse: Aw, Mumbo! I love you, too. I really do.
Mumbo: :{>
Mumbo: Hey, do you think you could help me arrange a JC hang out over the weekend? I feel like we haven't really seen a whole lot of each other lately
Impulse: Absolutely! I would love to and I think that sounds like a great idea :)
Impulse: Maybe on Sunday so that Zed doesn't have an early shift the next day?
Mumbo: That sounds like it could work, do you wanna check if Skizz would be chill with that?
Impulse: Skizz is a machine, Mumbo. You know that.
Mumbo: alright alright yeah you're right
Mumbo: I'll reach out to the group chat soon, yeah?
Impulse: Sounds great. I’ll wait for your signal :)
Mumbo: cheers imp, you're literally the best, do you know that?
Impulse: Eh, I'm semi-aware of my greatness, yeah :P
Mumbo: yeah mate, as you should be :{>
Scar’s House
3 Feb 24
6:01pm
Scar is waiting for him by the door when Grian arrives that evening. He is slouched against the frame and the light is warm behind his winter silhouette.
Grian’s breath catches in his throat and he turns his back on Scar, both to re-bolt the gate and to give himself a chance to calm the rapidfire beat of his heart.
A boyfriend.
He has a boyfriend .
He never, ever, saw this path for himself. Not with the Watchers, but not before then either.
Back at school, he’d imagined himself on his deathbed, taking the secret of his sexuality with him to the grave – being twelve and gay had seemed like such a death sentence back then.
More than a few times, he’d considered finding himself a girlfriend, just to satisfy the wanting for something within him, but his first kiss with Lizzie had resulted in a bloody nose, a grumbled confession, and an end to that idea altogether.
But he never could imagine himself being wanted for – not by another man and definitely not by one without some kind of impure intentions. He’d figured maybe one day he’d keel over to his desires and have his first time with a sketchy guy off Grindr who’d rough him up some before ditching him, half-beaten, somewhere dark and damp and exposed.
And for a time, it's all he’d felt he’d deserved.
Sure, he’d seen queer icons in the media, and a handful of boys in the years below had come out to mixed reviews – Scott had been tormented for a time, until Joel had brandished his friendship like a shield (It had been the first time Grian had become quietly aware of them both) – but he could never seem to place his feet in the indents of their footsteps, no matter how many others wore down the path before him.
It was just never meant to be his path…
But now here he stands in the early evening, on a garden path that leads to Scar’s doorway – to Scar – a man who isn’t shy or quiet in his want for him, whose touches are soft and whose affection is more than forgiving.
And Scar wants him.
He wants him. He wants him.
And Grian wants him in return. Desperately so.
So he is quick to tread the garden path, to enter the spill of the light that pours from the man that he wants and is wanted by.
He is fast to take the hand that is extended and lenient to the way it pulls for him.
Their chests meet and Grian shivers at the way Scar strokes his fingers over his ear.
“Hi, boyfriend,” Scar whispers, his voice fond and honey warm.
“Hi, boyfriend,” Grian says and it's an echo of the words that have been uttered to him, but he attempts to put his own voice behind them.
He isn't sure he can make them his own quite yet. He knows he will, eventually, but for right now, he makes himself content with the copy-pasting of Scar’s.
It's all practice, he figures, for when he can finally manage it by himself.
He pulls Scar down into a kiss and pours the things he can't say yet into the press of their lips.
Scar’s arms tighten around his waist and his long fingers thread together at the small of Grian’s back and in the quiet of the night, he listens.
And Grian feels heard.