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The Hermit Coffee Co.

Chapter 35

Notes:

We're nearing the 1 year mark of when I first started publishing this fic and what started out as a silly little fic about some hermits in a coffeeshop has since become an palette of exploration, of both grief and healing and everything those processes require. It's also serves as the foundation layer of a friendly and thriving little community on Discord, which has become a safe space for not only myself, but for so many others that I'm honoured to be able to now call some of my closest friends.

We're one year older, HCC. Here's to the next one.

TW: This chapter contains reflections of internalised homophobia and it's impact in childhood.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Scott and Joel
3 Feb 24
2:16am

 

Scott: SOS

Scott: please Joel

Scott: please

Joel: what

Joel: oh shit okay

Joel: I'm getting up ill be over in 15 at most okay?

Scott: okay

Joel: toss the key out your window in 10 and I'll let myself in yeah?

Scott: okay

Joel: alright just gonna let Lizzie know and I'll be omw

Scott: I'm sorry

Joel: Nah it's alright

Joel: promise

Scott: <3

 



Grian and Mumbo

3 Feb 24
10:01am

 

Grian: What are you doing Friday?

Mumbo: Friday? Um... I have a morning shift. Why?

Grian: Great. If I get my afternoon covered, do you want to hang out?

Mumbo: Oh? Yeah?

Grian: yeah? you don't sound sure lol

Mumbo: no no! not at all! I just

Mumbo: didn't expect it

Grian: yeah well I told you didn't I

Grian: I'm working on being a better friend

Grian: anyway, I wanna take you somewhere

Mumbo: Take me somewhere specific or just somewhere generally?

Grian: Specific

Mumbo: what is it?

Grian: well I'm not gonna tell you that am I

Mumbo: why not? /:{|

Grian: It'd ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?

Mumbo: oh it's a surprise is it?

Grian: Yep

Mumbo: alright then

Mumbo: yeah I guess I could hang out then

Grian: brill i’ll let you know the details closer to the day

Mumbo: I’m both afraid and intrigued

Grian: excellent, that is exactly what I’m aiming for

Mumbo: pfft weirdo

Grian: :) 

 



Jimmy and Scott

3 Feb 24
10:45am | 3:45pm

 

Jimmy: eyup you

Scott: hey

Jimmy: Rough night I hear?

Scott: mmhr

Jimmy: I'll take that as a yes then hehe

Jimmy: Joel texted me

Scott: I figured

Scott: sorry that sounded blunt it wasn't meant to be

Jimmy: nah, it's okay :)

Scott: hi

Jimmy: hey :)

Jimmy: you wanna talk about it?

Scott: theres not much to talk about honestly... I had a low and it was low enough for me to send Joel an SOS

Jimmy: yeah, I heard. 

Scott: thats pretty much all there is to it tbh

Jimmy: I'm sorry bud :(

Jimmy: how are you feeling now? How was your day? 

Jimmy: what time is it for you rn? Like 4ish?

Scott: yeah like ten to

Scott: and my day was kind of… eh?

Scott: Joel made me book in with the doctor

Jimmy: that's good that's probably for the best, innit?

Scott: probably

Scott: but it's annoying though

Jimmy: I know lad, but they're gonna try and find something to help you, yeah? Get you feeling back to your old self again

Scott: sorry to break the news to you, Jimmy, but this is kind of what I've always felt like

Scott: there isn’t really an “old self” that didn't feel this way

Jimmy: oh

Jimmy: really?

Scott: as long as I can remember, i’ve always felt like this, yeah

Jimmy: like… low? 

Scott: sad I guess

Scott: but not just… sad , like… idrk what it feels like to not feel a constant level of background sadness hah

Jimmy: even back when we were together?

Scott: just always, I guess

Scott: since I was like 9 or something

Jimmy: really?? as young as that??

Scott: yeah

Scott: are you really that surprised to learn this about me? 

Jimmy: no sorry it's just

Jimmy: idk that seems so young to be dealing with feelings like this is all

Scott: I didn’t really know any different 

Scott: i don’t remember much before that

Jimmy: what about your mum?

Scott: i remember her in essence 

Scott: but everything is kind of cloudy before that

Jimmy: wasn’t there anyone you could’ve spoken to about it? Like when you were younger?

Scott: well it’s like I said, Jim, I didn’t really know any different and honestly, who would I have even gone to about it?

Scott: i went to a tiny christian primary school and it’s not like my dad is one to talk much about feelings, is it? The first and last time I saw him cry was at the funeral

Jimmy: yeah i guess he is a bit emotionally constipated your dad 

Scott: and then I got to bellamy and i didn’t even have a chance to make friends before I got outed and then I did make a friend and it was Joel and by the time I met the rest of you i was just 

Scott: i don’t know… kind of used to it, i guess?

Scott: it wasn't like I was purposefully keeping it from you Jim

Jimmy: I know

Jimmy: i do know that

Jimmy: just wish I'd noticed sooner is all… wish i’d been smart enough to work it out for myself

Jimmy: of course you weren’t okay

Jimmy: i just feel like a bit of a shit boyfriend for not having done anything about it when i had the chance

Scott: well, to your defence… it’s not like you knew me to be any other way, did you?

Jimmy: I suppose not… idk

Scott: I'm sorry I didn't tell you 

Jimmy: I mean - in your defence, Scott -  what was there to tell? You said you didn’t really know either, so what would you have said? 

Jimmy: you basically didn’t know either, did you?

Scott: huh

Scott: I guess not?

Scott: at least I didn’t really think it was anything about me that could be potentially “fixed” lmao

Scott: kinda thought it was just… me honestly

Jimmy: dude, you’re so lovely though? Like even when you were dealing with all this, you somehow found it in you to be so unbelievably kind and generous? 

Scott: not really? I’ve been kind of an asshole to everybody for the last, like, year?

Jimmy: I don’t think so

Jimmy: I mean to me yeah, you were kinda mean as heck heh, but ya know :P 

Scott: eek yeah lmao sorry about that 

Jimmy: but generally I think you give yourself a harder time than you deserve

Jimmy: like idk if you remember it or if it was just out of habit, but like, you literally always went out of your way to make me happy, just like through the little things, you know?

Scott: mh

Jimmy: like remember how I’d always lose my charger down the side of the bed and you’d always fish it out for me by the time I’d get home and like, wedge or hook it into place for me?

Scott: well yeah but that’s because i have skinnier arms than you so it was just easier for me

Jimmy: or the way you’d wash my favourite mug for me in the morning rather than putting it in the dishwasher because you knew i liked to have my morning tea in it 

Scott: it never took long

Jimmy: or how about when I needed to catch the train for a shoot and I could've driven myself and paid parking or worked out a bus or taxi but instead you’d always insist on taking me and picking me up again later?

Jimmy: or remember that time I was on location like an hour away and I forgot my spare batteries and you drove all the way up to get them to me? Do you? Cause I sure do

Scott: yeah well you hadn’t slept well and you were having a panic 

Scott: and my work is flexi so it wasn’t a huge deal for me to start later 

Jimmy: but that’s the thing scott 

Jimmy: it kinda is a big deal? All these little things you’d do for me made my life so much easier and i’m so grateful i had you to get through those years

Jimmy: that I still have you, even now, even though we’re not together 

Jimmy: you’re like a really really important part of a lot of people’s lives Scott

Jimmy: not just me, either, like Joel and Lizzie and Martyn and B

Jimmy: Grian and Mumbo, even 

Jimmy: you’re absolutely amazing Scott and it sucks so much that you feel so low all the time cause you deserve so much better than that 

Scott: Jim

Jimmy: yeah? 

Scott: can you stop actually? With all the nice stuff? 

Jimmy: oh 

Jimmy: yeah sorry im sorry 

Scott: it’s okay its just that ive kinda been on and off crying since last night and im getting deathly dehydrated heh

Scott: cant keep up heh

Jimmy: alright :) well as long as you know yeah? 

Scott: i do, thank you <3

Jimmy: alright then let me change the subject a second

Jimmy: can I ask you something?

Scott: well technically you just did but… 

Scott: go ahead

Jimmy: harhar

Scott: :P

Jimmy: hey there you are

Jimmy: my Scott :)

Scott: mmm well

Jimmy: no I didn't mean

Jimmy: I know you're not mine

Jimmy: just like you're being you and thats the you I remember and love

Jimmy: I mean not love love but you know

Jimmy: no actually, scrap that, i do mean love love

Jimmy: because I do

Jimmy: I love you Scott

Scott: I love you too Jim

Scott: I miss you

Jimmy: I miss you too

Scott: are you having a good time over there? Is Grian keeping you well?

Jimmy: yeah I am actually :) it's really good

Jimmy: I'm hanging out with Pearl and Tango and Grian and it's just like so nice?? 

Jimmy: like of course I love everyone back home and I can't wait to see everyone again but like

Jimmy: we never really had a hang out spot? we didn't really like... congregate, did we?

Scott: wow

Scott: sorry I'm just impressed with your use of the word congregate

Jimmy: bully

Scott: affectionately <3

Jimmy: ha!

Scott: but no, you're right, we didn't

Scott: this probably suits you better, doesn't it?

Jimmy: I just like getting to meet up and hang out whenever you know? someone is always on shift at the shop and it's so nice just to be able to go somewhere and see a friendly face you know?

Scott: I get it, like I said it suits you

Jimmy: are you working today?

Scott: nope

Jimmy: probably for the best, yeah?

Scott: Joel thinks the doctor might actually sign me off

Jimmy: oh?

Scott: yeah I wasn't... particularly well last night I guess

Jimmy: nah?

Scott: nah

Scott: I couldn’t really like… breathe for a bit and Joel couldn't really calm me down for a while

Jimmy: oh Scott :(

Scott: It’s okay… I’m just glad joel came over

Scott: I haven’t sent him an SOS since before we were together, but he sprung to it pretty much right away so 

Scott: it was nice 

Scott: the fact that he did kind of helped in itself

Jimmy: I’m genuinely really pleased to hear that Scott I really am

Jimmy: I’m really glad you and Joel are still close honestly

Scott: Me too 

Scott: Hey, you wanted to ask a question?

Jimmy: Oh yeah! Hang on I need to remind myself hehe

Scott: I can wait

Jimmy: yeah you’re the best aren’t you? 

Scott: heh well 

Jimmy: okay I remember now! 

Jimmy: I was gonna ask if you have a moving date?

Jimmy: if you’re still planning on that… 

Scott: oh yeah 

Scott: um, tbh im kinda freaking out about it still, but i'm on a rolling contract here so I can end my lease in like… a couple weeks?

Jimmy: omg nice! 

Scott: but I guess that doesn’t stop me from moving out beforehand… maybe I’ll start moving stuff over next week?

Scott: we should talk about the rent situation btw: how we split it, if we need to speak to the estate agents etc. 

Jimmy: yeah yeah, we will :) not now though, yeah? I bet you’re exhausted still

Scott: well, you know me… not exactly one to drop things if I can be distracted by them lmao

Jimmy: why don’t you have a nap, love? Have you slept much? Eaten anything? 

Scott: Yeah, Joel made me me some pasta for lunch before he left

Scott: i hate being treated like a kid 

Scott: especially when i'm acting like one

Jimmy: hehehe :P

Scott: Jim?

Jimmy: yeah? 

Scott: thank you for calling me love

Jimmy: oh! I… I didn’t even think honestly, it just slipped out…

Scott: no worries heh

Jimmy: do you… want me to keep using it?

Scott: i mean you don’t have to

Jimmy: I’d like to… if you want me to 

Scott: it doesn’t mean anything

Scott: I mean okay wait 

Scott: it doesn’t mean we’re a couple in a relationship or anything romantic, is what I mean

Jimmy: course not

Scott: it means something to me 

Scott: it means a lot to me, honestly

Jimmy: it’s just us, isn’t it? That’s what we said, wasn’t it?

Scott: maybe I could be your Love and you could be my Poppy?

Scott: I mean if you want 

Scott: is that too much like straying into old habits? 

Jimmy: does it matter?

Scott: I don't know… maybe?

Jimmy: doesn't matter to me 

Jimmy: I feel more comfortable with where our boundaries are now Scott 

Jimmy: we’re us and that's all it is, all it needs to be

Jimmy: yeah? 

Scott: yeah

Scott: yeah okay 

Jimmy: yeah! :D

Scott: anyway, you'll just have to make sure whatever we agree to is okay with your new boyfriend, too

Jimmy: eh?

Scott: just, you know, whenever that happens :)

Jimmy: oh um yeah alright 

Scott: because you're a catch, Jim, and it's bound to happen sooner rather than later 

Jimmy: pfft nah, you're on one, you are 

Jimmy: do you really think so?

Jimmy: that I'm a catch, I mean? 

Scott: mhm

Scott: you're the one that got away for me, but for the next guy or gal or whatever gendered pal you find?

Scott: absolute catch, poppy 

Jimmy: oh Scott you're so sillyyyyy

Jimmy: stop it you :P

Scott: :) 

Scott: anyway, I should probably go for that nap but speaking of

Jimmy: hm?

Scott: how is tango anyway?

Jimmy: Tango? 

Jimmy: yeah he's good, why? 

Scott: Just wondering ^^,

Scott: nighty night Poppy <3

Jimmy: yeah alright… sleep well, love 

 



Jimmy and Scott 
3 Feb 24
11:23am | 4:23pm

 

Jimmy: WAIT I JUST GOT WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING

Jimmy: YOU ARE A NAUGHTY LITTLE MENACE SCOTT MAJOR 

Scott: snork mimimimimi

 



Grian and ScarGT

3 Feb 24
4:35pm

 

Grian: we’re getting ready to close up for the afternoon

Grian: and when I say “we” I obviously mean I’m getting ready to close up because I've totally lost Tango to Tinny 

ScarGT: Oh yeah you're done for 

ScarGT: once those two strike up a match, the fire gets blazin’ and that train is as good as gone

Grian: kinda feel like you're mixing metaphors there, but I get what you mean lol

Grian: Hey, do you want me to bring you anything home? 

Grian: like a coffee or a pastry? the pan au chocs didn't sell super well today so there's a couple left over 

Grian: I could bring two back and maybe we could heat them up in the morning?

ScarGT: are you staying over tonight? ^^

Grian: oh um yeah I guess I did just invite myself didn't I whoops

ScarGT: no no it's nice! I like it 

Grian: heh sorry scar

ScarGT: I like sharing my space with you G :-) 

ScarGT: I mean jellie kinda hates it, but what does she know, she's a cat =^–•–^= 

ScarGT: (that's her scowling btw)

Grian: ohhh I was trying to work it out but I see it now... I thought the little points were her eyes but they're her ears, aren't they?

ScarGT: they are yes :-P

Grian: very cute 

ScarGT: just like someone else I know

Grian: oh yeah? and who might that be?

ScarGT: just a certain barista I’ve recently become acquaintedacqquanted with… 

Grian: … 

ScarGT: bit of a short temper, not much more in height… has quite the mouth on him ;-)

Grian: I'm going to kill you 

ScarGT: what! 

ScarGT: oh, come on, tell me you can resist the charms of the Bdubs and I'll call you a liar, sir! 

Grian: you know what and because of that you'll never know the feeling of this mouth again

ScarGT: Nooooooooo!!! 

ScarGT: I'll miss your kisses :-( 

Grian: say that you don't fancy bdubs then

ScarGT: oh come on now, G! 

Grian: say. it.

ScarGT: I do not fancy Bdubs 

ScarGT: I fancy the other shortie in the shop :-)

Grian: if you say Tango

ScarGT:

Grian: alright I'll go home after work then no pastries for you

ScarGT: noooo, im kidding im kidding!

ScarGT: please come home to me, G :-( I'm so looonely 

ScarGT: pleeeease, I know how to groval :-( 

Grian: mhm

ScarGT: orrrr maybe I could make it up to you? Maybe show you how this mouth feels? ^U^ 

Grian: omg scar

Grian: stop it omg 

Grian: why do you just say stuff like that holy jesus christ

Grian: stop

ScarGT: sooo is that a no? 

Grian: … I didn't say that

Grian: I said stop it right now 

Grian: I didn't say don't restart later… 

ScarGT: :-P

ScarGT: it's the Good Times charm, isn't it?

Grian: I dislike you

ScarGT: liar

Grian: how would you know?

ScarGT: oh you like me 

Grian: do I?

ScarGT: Very much so 

ScarGT: so much so that you're even thinking about becoming my boyfriend… :->

Grian: am I?

ScarGT: oh yes! :-) 

Grian: news to me that is

ScarGT: well maybe you should follow the news more closely grian and you'll learn a thing or two about the world

ScarGT: was this too much? 

Grian: well, it was a very you way to go about it, thats for sure 

ScarGT: yeaaaaah I sure know how to do things, huh? ^^;

Grian: mhm

ScarGT: soooo

Grian: sooooooo

ScarGT: so… will you? 

Grian: will I what 

ScarGT: be my boyfriend? ^^;

Grian: let me check my calendar 

ScarGT: wait your calendar? ^^; 

Grian: yep and it looks like… 

Grian: yeah I think I have an opening available 

ScarGT: an opening? 

Grian: omg scar 

Grian: yes menance that's me saying yes

ScarGT: an opening for what exactly?

Grian:

Grian: that was a joke Scar

ScarGT: oh! 

ScarGT: so you mean…

Grian: yup

ScarGT: your my boyfrend???

Grian: something like that, yep

ScarGT: well that's 

ScarGT: that's quite swell then isn't it :-) 

Grian: quite swell indeed

Grian: soooo, see you at yours after then? 

ScarGT: absolutely! :-) 

ScarGT: I very much look forward to it 

Grian: likewise 

 



Java Circuit

3 Feb 24
4:58pm

 

ScarGT: HE DAID YES

ScarGT: JN A VERY ROUNSABOUT WAY BUT HE SAIS YES 

Zedaph: yay!! \o/

Zedaph: what am I cheering for? 

Skizz: omg Scar are you saying what I think you're saying rn? 0:-O

ScarGT: HES MY BOYFRIEND

ScarGT: HES MY BOYFRIEND YOU GUYS 

Impulse: Congrats, Scar :)

ScarGT: this is the best day of my life

Tango: when did this happen I've been here with him the entire time

ScarGT: I beleeve you were preocuppied with tinny 

Tango: what a snitch 

Mumbo: hey congrats mate to both of you 

ScarGT: thank you mumbo :-)

Mumbo: you make a good pair

ScarGT: I think so too :-DD

 



Hermit Coffee Co.

3 Feb 24
5:03pm

 

Broom in hand, Tango leans against the counter, grinning at Grian as he counts out the coins in the till. 

He glances up and frowns at the man. 

“What?”

“Boyfriends, huh?”

Grian snaps his head up, abandoning his count. He scowls at Tango, violated. “It just happened. How the hell?” 

Tango snickers, fishes his phone out of his apron and shows it off. “I have my ways.”

“Scar messaged your group chat,” Grian deducts. 

“All caps, typos galore,” Tango confirms with a smirk. “That man has it down bad for you, dude.” 

Grian curses the warm flush he feels at his cheeks and the way the corners of his lips curl up without his permission. 

He returns to his counting. “Yeah well,” he mutters, as Tango pushes away to return to his sweeping. “Feeling’s pretty mutual…” 

Tango makes a high pitched giggle. “I heard that~” 

Grian slams the till shut and dips behind the coffee machine to clean a portafilter instead. 

“Leave me alone!” he calls out, desperately trying to ignore the feelings of fireflies flittering warm in his belly.

 



Impulse and Mumbo

3 Feb 24
5:08pm

 

Impulse: You okay?

Mumbo: oddly enough, I think so 

Mumbo: I'm coming to terms with it 

Mumbo: I mean Grian called me the other night and he and Scar slept together for the first time and i guess if I can survive that I can survive this ha

Impulse: You know, the Ha tacked on the end there makes me less inclined to believe you :P

Mumbo: yeah thats kinda fair 

Mumbo: hey impulse can I talk to you about something actually?

Impulse: Of course, always. What's up?

Mumbo: I'm thinking about going home for a bit 

Mumbo: not permanently mind you 

Impulse: Oh, wow!

Mumbo: just for a couple months maybe… just to sort out some stuff at my parents old house

Impulse: Yeah? That's incredible, Mumbo. I’m so proud of you :) 

Mumbo: Thanks Imp, you're a sweetheart 

Impulse: D’aww, shucks :P

Impulse: When are you thinking? 

Mumbo: ermmm like… later this month?

Impulse: Oh wow, soon! 

Impulse: Does X know? 

Mumbo: oh yeah he does, I talked about it with him before i made any real plans

Mumbo: he told me to just let him know when I'm going and when I'm back and my job will be waiting for me

Mumbo: big relief tbh haha

Impulse: Man, that's so awesome of him. How did we get so lucky? 

Mumbo: I guess that's what nearly 4 years of service gets you haha

Impulse: True, true. 

Mumbo: Yeah, so

Mumbo: what do you think? is it a good idea? 

Impulse: Well, it sounds like it to me! If you feel ready for it. I know it's been haunting you for a while now, so as long as you’re feeling up to it, I think some time away might be nice :) 

Impulse: I’m assuming if you've already made plans with X, this doesn't have anything to do with Scar’s latest news then? 

Mumbo: nah

Mumbo: I mean, getting away from the new couple is kind of a bonus, but it's not for that specifically… 

Mumbo: mostly it was just talking to Scott and the others about home and realising that i guess maybe it's time to rip the bandaid off 

Impulse: Well, I support you in this decision all the way :) 

Impulse: Have you told anyone yet?

Mumbo: Ermmm yeah that's kinda the thing 

Mumbo: I haven't really told anyone ? You're the first

Impulse: Oh! I see. Well, I'm both flattered and a little bit surprised ^^; 

Impulse: Don't you think you should maybe tell Grian sooner rather than later? I imagine he’s going to need some processing time to deal with you leaving. 

Mumbo: you think so?

Mumbo: I mean I kinda just figured that having Scar as like… a main support for him now would like… ease the blow?

Impulse: Sure… to an extent, maybe… But you’re the reason he came here, remember? You leaving, for however long, is probably going to have an effect on him, don't you think?

Mumbo: I mean 

Mumbo: yeah 

Mumbo: I know you're right impulse I just 

Mumbo: see here's the thing you might (shockingly) not know about me impulse I'm a bit of a coward

Impulse: Ahaha, no you're not! You’re just incredibly anxious and a little avoidant. 

Mumbo: a little is generous but I'll take it 

Impulse: Do you think maybe you could tell him in the next couple days?

Mumbo: he's taking me out somewhere on Friday so maybe then? 

Impulse: That could be good! 

Impulse: I’m also glad to hear you guys are taking time for each other again :) I know it's been hard for you lately. 

Mumbo: he wants to be a better friend apparently 

Mumbo: I'm kinda nervous tbh with you, but… hey it might be nice to have some one on one time again

Mumbo: we’ve called and texted and worked together, but we haven't spent any time together like in person, just us since probably before our friends came over 

Impulse: Mhm. Some quality time is definitely needed then. 

Mumbo: I'm just worried that things won't be as easy as they used to be, you know? 

Mumbo: like we used to be so… loose with each other? sleep in the same bed kind of comfortable 

Mumbo: now I have to keep in mind that he's got a boyfriend and to maybe keep my hands to myself a bit more 

Impulse: I don't know… You were just friends before when you were doing all that, does it really have to be that different now? 

Impulse: (Genuine question - you know I have very little idea about the difference between platonic and romantic relationships ^^;) 

Mumbo: I don't know… it all felt like a precursor to something more than just being friends though.

Mumbo: So like, now that it's very much not becoming something more… I think maybe it can't be like that anymore. 

Impulse: Hm. 

Mumbo: What

Impulse: I don't know, just seems like a bit of a shame to me, is all. It sucks to know you have to stop being affectionate with your friends just because they now have an official SO. 

Impulse: I can't imagine what I’d do if I had to stop being affectionate with Pearl just because Gem came around.

Impulse: Die a little, honestly ^^; 

Mumbo: yeah well you kinda lucked out there, didn't you? You didn't have to change anything with Pearl, you just got a bonus Gem in the end, didn’t you? 

Impulse: I know I'm lucky. Pearl and Gem have been amazing to me. I’m sorry that things can't be so fortuitous for you and Grian and Scar :(

Mumbo: thanks mate, I genuinely appreciate it 

Impulse: But hey, if you're heading back, maybe you could see about picking things up with Scott again, hmmm?

Impulse: You guys seemed to get along pretty well when he was over ;) 

Mumbo: heh

Mumbo: I am looking forward to seeing him again, yeah, I'll give you that 

Mumbo: I don't know if it's going to be like that between us, but… 

Mumbo: idk we’ll see I guess, he’s not my priority for going back, but yeah it'll be nice to have some more time with him heh

Impulse: I mean to be completely honest with you, dude, what you had going on with him when he was here seemed like the perfect set up to me. 

Impulse: But I know I'm built differently to the rest of you, so :P 

Mumbo: you sure are bud and that's part of why we love you so much 

Mumbo: definitely part of why I love you so much 

Impulse: Aw, Mumbo! I love you, too. I really do. 

Mumbo: :{>

Mumbo: Hey, do you think you could help me arrange a JC hang out over the weekend? I feel like we haven't really seen a whole lot of each other lately

Impulse: Absolutely! I would love to and I think that sounds like a great idea :) 

Impulse: Maybe on Sunday so that Zed doesn't have an early shift the next day? 

Mumbo: That sounds like it could work, do you wanna check if Skizz would be chill with that? 

Impulse: Skizz is a machine, Mumbo. You know that. 

Mumbo: alright alright yeah you're right 

Mumbo: I'll reach out to the group chat soon, yeah? 

Impulse: Sounds great. I’ll wait for your signal :) 

Mumbo: cheers imp, you're literally the best, do you know that? 

Impulse: Eh, I'm semi-aware of my greatness, yeah :P 

Mumbo: yeah mate, as you should be :{> 

 



Scar’s House

3 Feb 24
6:01pm

 

Scar is waiting for him by the door when Grian arrives that evening. He is slouched against the frame and the light is warm behind his winter silhouette. 

Grian’s breath catches in his throat and he turns his back on Scar, both to re-bolt the gate and to give himself a chance to calm the rapidfire beat of his heart. 

A boyfriend. 

He has a boyfriend .

He never, ever, saw this path for himself. Not with the Watchers, but not before then either. 

Back at school, he’d imagined himself on his deathbed, taking the secret of his sexuality with him to the grave – being twelve and gay had seemed like such a death sentence back then.

More than a few times, he’d considered finding himself a girlfriend, just to satisfy the wanting for something within him, but his first kiss with Lizzie had resulted in a bloody nose, a grumbled confession, and an end to that idea altogether.

But he never could imagine himself being wanted for – not by another man and definitely not by one without some kind of impure intentions. He’d figured maybe one day he’d keel over to his desires and have his first time with a sketchy guy off Grindr who’d rough him up some before ditching him, half-beaten, somewhere dark and damp and exposed.

And for a time, it's all he’d felt he’d deserved. 

Sure, he’d seen queer icons in the media, and a handful of boys in the years below had come out to mixed reviews – Scott had been tormented for a time, until Joel had brandished his friendship like a shield (It had been the first time Grian had become quietly aware of them both) – but he could never seem to place his feet in the indents of their footsteps, no matter how many others wore down the path before him. 

It was just never meant to be his path…

But now here he stands in the early evening, on a garden path that leads to Scar’s doorway – to Scar – a man who isn’t shy or quiet in his want for him, whose touches are soft and whose affection is more than forgiving. 

And Scar wants him. 

He wants him. He wants him. 

And Grian wants him in return. Desperately so. 

So he is quick to tread the garden path, to enter the spill of the light that pours from the man that he wants and is wanted by. 

He is fast to take the hand that is extended and lenient to the way it pulls for him.

Their chests meet and Grian shivers at the way Scar strokes his fingers over his ear. 

“Hi, boyfriend,” Scar whispers, his voice fond and honey warm. 

“Hi, boyfriend,” Grian says and it's an echo of the words that have been uttered to him, but he attempts to put his own voice behind them.

He isn't sure he can make them his own quite yet. He knows he will, eventually, but for right now, he makes himself content with the copy-pasting of Scar’s. 

It's all practice, he figures, for when he can finally manage it by himself. 

He pulls Scar down into a kiss and pours the things he can't say yet into the press of their lips.

Scar’s arms tighten around his waist and his long fingers thread together at the small of Grian’s back and in the quiet of the night, he listens. 

And Grian feels heard. 

Notes:

If you'd like to join the HCC discord server, you can do so by following the link: Hit me up with a brew! We'd be happy to have you!

(Some of our members are a little enthusiastic about meeting new people, though, so please don't be scared if you're hit by a big wave of energy when you do. It a lovely community full of wonderful people.)