Archive of Our Own ^beta

Taeyong"s used to long flights.

He took his first at seven, his family moving from Seoul to Northbrook, right outside of Chicago. He remembers how much he hated it, how it scared him. He"d taken flights to go on vacation, but nothing compared to the fifteen hours. The sounds of the jets, the amount of people in a small space, the cold — it was all too much for his little body and mind. It took his Mom holding him nearly the entire flight for him to stop crying and thrashing.

Part of him still wishes his Mom could hold him while he flies. Not that they scare him anymore, at least not to that degree, but he dislikes them. He"s since relocated to New York City, going there for college and liking it enough to stay. Because of this, he often has to fly for work. He works as a music producer. He fell in love with music in high school and began by composing, which led to writing lyrics, which led to producing. It has led to a lot of amazing opportunities, but he"d love to never have to fly for one again.

He lets out a deep breath with his eyes shut as the plane finally lands, feeling the relief of making it safely. The plane gets louder and people begin to talk as the plane docks. He turns up the music in his headphones to drown it out and stares out the window. He always picks the window seat. He likes to watch the world below, feeling it animated by whatever music he"s listening to. He doesn"t understand why people stand up the second they"re allowed to and grab their bags, it just leads to carrying a heavy bag for longer. He"d rather leave the plane last and be able to sit than have to feel the weight of his carry-on.

He smiles and bows his head in thanks to the staff while he gets off the plane (nearly last). The airport is busy and loud as he gets into the terminal. He walks in the direction of the car pickups quickly, not wanting to leave his ride waiting. He didn"t bring a checked bag this trip, he doesn"t plan on being home long.

Taeyong tries to come home for Christmas, even if just for Christmas day or for weeks. He"s been missing it more and more as he"s become more busy, but he tries to make up for it as best he could by coming for New Years instead. He loves coming home for Christmas, he loves spending time with his parents. He loves the break from work and adult life to go back to being someone"s baby. That added with the familial warmth of the holidays, it"s everything he needs to recharge.

While that may be warm, the air isn"t. The brisk windy air of Chicago in December hits his face when he goes to the pickup loop. He shivers and holds his bag close as he looks for a familiar car.

"Taeyong!"

He doesn"t need to look far as he sees an even more familiar face pop out from the car"s skylight window.

"Taeyong!" Doyoung screams at an embarrassingly high volume, waving his hands around.

The other smiles and makes his way over to him. He opens the back seat and throws his bag in before getting into the passenger"s side. It takes a few seconds before the other leaps over the center console and wraps his arms around him, hugging him as tight as he possibly can.

"Taeyong!" He squeezes him, "Taeyong!"

He laughs and hugs him back, patting his back, "Hi, Doie."

"I can"t believe you"re home!" He pulls away, keeping his hands on the other. He squeezes his hands, "I"ve missed you!"

"We talk everyday, Doyoung," He rolls his eyes and pulls his hands away to buckle in after adjusting his seat.

"But you haven"t been home in what feels like years!" He grabs him again and shakes him, "And you"re staying for a while this time! This is as rare as, like..." He pauses for a moment before blurting out, "Snow on Christmas!"

"Omma!" Taeyong shouts as he lunges into his parents house, wrapping his arms around his Mom and hugging her as tight as he can.

She laughs as she hugs him back, rubbing his back and squeezing him.

"I"m here too," Taeyong"s Dad wraps around them too, "Glad to have you home, Taeyong-ah."

"Uh," Doyoung lets out, putting Taeyong"s bag on the ground as he stares at the bunch. He scratches his head, "I"m going to get going."

"Stay for dinner," Taeyong"s Mom separates enough to speak. She smiles at him, "You"re like our second son, Doyoung."

He smiles but shakes his head, "I can"t, Mrs. Lee, I"m sorry. I have to make dinner and stuff tonight, Jaehyun isn"t on call tonight."

"You better get home then," She replies. The bunch of them finally separate, but all have their arms around each other. She leans her head on Taeyong"s shoulder, "Are you and Jaehyun still coming to our Christmas party?"

"Wouldn"t miss it for the world!" He lets out.

She smiles wider and steps forward to hug him, "Thanks for picking Taeyong up."

He hugs her back, "Anytime."

Taeyong steps up and walks the other to his car, opening the door for him and hugging him. He sighs into his shoulder, "Thanks, Doie."

"Anytime." He pats his back, "Now," He pulls back and holds onto his shoulders, "When are Jaehyun and I making you dinner?"

He rolls his eyes, "You don"t need to do that."

"We want to!" He lets out.

He shakes his head a little bit, "Text me whenever Jaehyun is free for the night."

"We"re throwing our own Christmas party this year, you need to come."

"When?"

"The weekend after your parent"s," He sits in the car and closes the door with the window down, "No adults," He smiles, "Just kids."

"We"re nearly thirty, Doyoung."

"I know!" He almost shouts as he turns the key in the car, starting it. He turns the radio on low, a Christmas station playing, "It just feels like we"re kids still when we get together."

He crosses his arms, "I"ll be there, don"t worry."

"Good!" He starts to reverse out of the driveway, "I love you!"

He giggles as he waves, "Love you, too."

Taeyong goes back into the house and is greeted by his parents again with hugs. The house he grew up in is decorated with the familiar holiday decorations, just like he remembers. It"s the warmth he craved and needed.

He got his first mission from his parents for the trip: grocery shopping. Some of his relatives are coming in tomorrow so they need to stock up. He was happy to get the mission, he hasn"t driven a car since the last time he was here. He hates grocery shopping in the city, but he loves it here. He can actually enjoy the trip and bring them back home easily, something he can"t do when he"s anywhere other than here.

His family has always gone to the same grocery store. Yeah, they go to the normal chain grocery store for the basics, but they have a favorite family-owned asian grocery store for all cultural cornerstones. He already has gotten those basics and parks in front of si-han-guk-ssi-jang, or Chi Korean Market. He unplugs his phone from the aux cord and grabs his reusable bags before heading out and into the building. It began snowing since he left home, so he rushes in as quick as he can.

He shakes like a dog once he gets in, grabbing a basket and beginning to browse. His Mom wants to have a hotpot night with the relatives tomorrow, so he stocks up on ramen, tteokbokki, some meat, and imported eggs. Just getting the stuff makes him smile. He goes and picks up Korean food at places around his house, but nothing is like eating it fresh with your family. He wishes he could get that feeling more often.

He hums as he looks through the snacks, deciding what he wants to pick up as the bag he"ll devour when staying up late at night. He bites his cheek and looks at the ingredients on one of the bags, reading it up and down before he hears an, "Excuse me," A figure stretching over him to reach something on a top shelf.

"You"re okay," Taeyong straightens back up, looking at the person and drops the bag of snacks when he recognizes them. His eyes go wide, "Johnny?"

"You want to break up with me?" Johnny looks at the ground of his bedroom, his hands gripping his thighs. He looks back up at the other, his eyes tearing up, "W-Why?"

Taeyong sits next to him, grabbing one of his hands. He takes a deep breath, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles, "I"m moving, Johnny. I don"t want to break up, but I"m moving far away."

"But," He squeezes Taeyong"s hand, "We could make it work! I... I could drive to you once a month! I"d do anything I could to stay with you, even from states away!"

"John," His voice is almost a whisper, "Please don"t make this harder than it is."

"Taeyong?" The tall man looks back at him just as shocked to see the other.

His eyes go even wider when he sees the baby on his hip, bundled up in winter clothes. He looks between the baby and the man, "Uh..." He trails off, just blinking in response.

Johnny looks at the baby, then back to Taeyong, "Um," He shifts on his feet a little, "This is Jun."

"Is he..." He trails off again, making it a question.

"Yeah, um," He nods, "He"s my son."

His eyebrows go up, his mouth making a small "O". He tries to wipe the look off his face, "Oh, um," He tries his best to smile, but it clearly looks fake. He"s known Johnny was bisexual since they began dating, but him having a family with a woman was the last thing he could"ve imagined. Though they"re nearly thirty now, it feels like they"re all still teenagers to him.

"You"re back in town?" He asks, tilting his head a little.

He nods, unable to stop looking at the baby staring back at him, "For Christmas."

"Ah," He nods. He swallows dryly, "Are you going to be here for a little while?"

Taeyong nods, looking back at the man.

"Would you be okay with getting coffee sometime?" The corners of his mouth tilt up a little, "I"d like to catch up as long as you aren"t too busy."

"Uh..." It takes him a moment to squeak out, "Yeah, of course," He tries to smile again. "Is your number still the same? We can arrange a day."

"Yeah," He nods, his smile going wider. He bounces on the tips of his toes a little, "Glad to see you again, Taeyong."

"You too," He ducks away then, leaving the bag of snacks on the ground behind him.

(Johnny picked it up and put it back on the shelf.)

"Why the hell didn"t you tell me!" Taeyong shouts into his phone, pacing around his childhood bedroom, "How could you not tell me my ex-boyfriend has a fucking baby!"

"He"s your ex!" Doyoung shouts back through the line, "I thought it would hurt you to know!"

He scoffs, "Just because we broke up doesn"t mean I don"t want to know if something like that happens! That"s insane!"

"We"re all adults, Taeyong!" He replies, "It"s a normal age to have a kid!"

"And?!" His voice is mad and he"s throwing up his non-phone-holding hand in anger, "You should"ve told me!"

"Sorry!"

"I looked like a fucking idiot! How would you react if you saw a guy you used to date with a baby? You"d freak out too!"

"I would!" Doyoung goes quiet for a moment before continuing, "I"m sorry I didn"t tell you, Taeyong. You"re right, I should have."

He sits on the edge of his bed and puts his hand over his eyes. He sighs deeply, "I can"t believe John has a fucking baby."

"You"ve been broken up for nearly ten years, Taeyong." His voice is calm now, "It"s not the most out-of-this-world thing."

"I know. Just," He huffs, "I can"t believe it."

"We"re all grown up, Taeyong-ah."

He lays back, looking up at his ceiling full of glow-in-the-dark his Dad put up when they first moved in. "You have a house and a husband, John has a kid," He scoffs, "We"re all fucking ancient and I haven"t done anything."

"You"ve done a lot and we"re all still young!" Doyoung responds with excitement, "You have a great job, know celebrities, and a nice apartment in New York! That"s pretty impressive!" He keeps talking after the other remains silent, "Don"t let societal expectations of being an adult by having a partner, kids, and a house make you think you"re any less of a successful person. We all have more than enough time to do those things, just some of us do them faster."

He"s quiet again. He rolls onto his side and groans, "His kid is cute."

"Very cute," Taeyong can almost see his gummy smile with just the tone of his voice, "Cute, cute baby."

He sighs, "What are you doing tomorrow? I need to get wrapping paper and stuff to wrap gifts, we could get lunch too."

"Work," He replies, "School"s not out yet."

He groans again, "Do those little snot nosed brats really need you there?"

"Don"t call them that. They may be snot nosed, but they aren"t brats."

"I can"t believe you"re a principle." Taeyong says, "You"re fucking old."

"Blah, blah, yeah, I know," He lets out a heavy breath, "And you"re still seventeen."

"I think I"d rather die than be seventeen again."

"Yeah, it means you and Johnny"d be on that vacation again right now."

"Taeyong-ah," Johnny shakes the smaller"s shoulder as he"s laid on his side in the hotel bed, "Come on."

He doesn"t respond.

"Come on," He repeats, "It"s not my fault."

"But, you could"ve said you have a boyfriend." He sits up on his knees and looks at the other, his own face tear stained and red. He crosses his arms, "You just let them flirt with you!"

"Please, Taeyong. You know I can"t control that."

"You could"ve told them to get lost! To leave you alone!" His arms went to the bed, balling up over the comforter, "But you didn"t! I was sitting right across from you and you just let them touch your arms and whine over how strong you are!"

"Taeyong-"

"How would you feel if someone did that to me? How would you feel if someone came up to me while we"re at dinner and they started talking about how cute I am? You"re trying to tell me you wouldn"t be pissed?!" His voice is almost a scream now, "You"d fucking kill them!"

"It"s Christmas, Taeyong." His hand extends to grab the others, but Taeyong pulls it away. He sighs and looks away from him, looking at his lap, "I"m sorry, please don"t be mad at me."

"Are you still there?"

Doyoung"s voice pulls him out of the memory. He squeaks out, "Yeah, sorry. Uh," He sits up, looking at his lap, "I should go to bed."

"Me too," He yawns, "Jaehyun has been nodding off on the couch for the past hour. It"s like he"s sixty."

"You"re the one who married him."

"You"re right, you"re right." He pauses for a moment, "Goodnight, Taeyong."

"Night, Doie."

And he ends the call. He sits there for a while, staring out his bedroom window. Snow is still falling, illuminated by the warm street lights.

"I had a really good time, Taeyong." Johnny looks at him in the passenger"s seat, parked right in front of the smaller"s house as snow falls on the hood of the hand-me-down car.

"Me too," He smiles at him, "Thanks for paying."

He scoffs, brushing the words off, "I asked you out, of course I pay."

"So," His tone trails high as he drags it out, "If I ask you on a second date, I have to pay?"

"God, no." He shakes his head, "I"m paying always. My Dad gave me an advance on my allowance for this."

Taeyong laughs, throwing his head back. Once he comes down from the laughing, he feels a hand wrap around the back of his neck and be pulled until lips are on his own. His mind flips a switch and he"s kissing back, leaning closer so he can grab the other"s bicep to pull him closer. It goes on until they"re both pulling away just an inch for air. They stare for a moment before bursting into laughter.

He groans as he pushes up from his bed, standing up. He rubs his eyes with his palms as he walks to the bathroom, getting ready for bed and tucking himself in soon after.

🐱🎄🌹

"Taeyong-ah!"

His Mom"s shouting voice from outside his door makes him startle, accidentally flinching the eyeshadow brush in his hand. "Yes!" He shouts back.

"Hurry up and get downstairs, I need you to help me set the table."

"Okay!" He lets out, returning to the blending of the light warm shadow in his crease. He"s not big on makeup, just does a little bit to look up to his own standards. It usually doesn"t go past concealer and a little sparkle on his inner corner, but for occasions like today, he"ll add the smallest bit of shadow to heighten his looks. He gets up from his desk chair and turns off the lamp, dropping the compact back into his bag. He goes to his carry-on he"s yet to unpack and grabs the necklace he put in the side pocket. He holds it in his palm and puts his phone into his back pocket before running out the door and down the stairs.

Every set of lights, every tree, and every nativity scene around the house is lit up and on with the Christmas radio station playing loudly. It makes him smile once the scent of sugar cookies hits his nose. He nearly skips into the kitchen where his Mom is busy putting something in the oven. When she stands again, he asks, "Omma," His tone almost whines, "Can you help me get my necklace on?"

She takes it from his hand before her son squats down slightly so she can reach. She clasps it together before he stands again, thanking her. She gestures towards the dining room and turns back to the stove, "Set the table."

He doesn"t need to be told twice. His father helps him, telling him how many plates and things need to be out as he sets out the other side. When the doorbell rings, he"s told to go and answer it. As the next hour goes on, his relatives pour in. They all hug and kiss his cheeks as he hands up their coats and puts up their shoes, providing slippers in exchange. This becomes his full time job until a majority of his relatives that flew in are all here, the house loud with talking and laughter. He begins to walk away from the door, but when the doorbell rings again, he turns on the balls of his feet and opens it again. The faces he"s met with makes his eyes go wide.

"Taeyongie!" The woman leading them steps forward to wrap him in a hug, "It"s been so long!"

He tries to check back in mentally as quickly as possible. He hugs her back, "It has, Mrs. Suh."

"You"re all grown up!" Mr. Suh lets out, grabbing onto the younger"s shoulder as he smiles at him.

He smiles and nods as the two separate, "I"m twenty-eight after all, sir."

The man laughs, "I remember your little eight year old face asking if Johnny was able to play everyday for years, you"ll always be a kid to me."

"Youngho!" His Dad yells up the stairs.

The sounds of little feet running come from above until the boy appears at the top of the stairs, smiling down before he nearly trips on his way down from going too fast. He grabs his coat from his Dad"s grasp before grabbing Taeyong"s wrist and running out the door, "Bye, Dad!"

Taeyong can"t help but laugh loudly as he"s pulled behind the other into the freshly fallen snow on the lawn.

He laughs and nods, "Come on in, let me take your coats." And he goes through the same routine again, taking their coats and providing slippers as they slide off their shoes. They get lost in the crowds of the house by the time Johnny and his son are the only ones left alongside Taeyong. He"s not smiling, his face almost going into customer service mode, not blank but not animated. "Let me take your guys" coats."

Johnny slides one arm out before transferring the baby to his other arm, "You look nice, Taeyong."

"You too," He responds, mostly out of respect. It"s not that Johnny doesn"t look nice, just that he doesn"t want to admit something out loud he can"t even admit to himself.

"Sorry for showing up unannounced," He slips the other arm out and hands the smaller his coat. He begins to take off Jun"s coat, "Just, my parents and I have been coming for the Christmas party for the past couple years since he was born." He slips the coat into the diaper bag, "I don"t think he"d be able to handle being on a plane — let alone for that long — and my parents don"t want to go to Korea to see our family alone."

"It"s okay, John. I get it." Another customer service look before he takes the diaper bag and sets it next to the Suh"s shoes. He grabs a pair of slippers after and hands them to the man.

He takes them, "Probably should"ve given you a heads up."

"It"s fine, really." He looks down at the baby in his arms as he stares back at him. He pulls his eyes away and smiles again, "I"m sure my parents are looking for you two."

He nods and ducks into the crowd, everyone getting louder as the baby comes into view. He lets out a sigh before following into the crowd of people.

Doyoung and Jaehyun arrived late, giving an excuse about how Jaehyun"s shift ended later than he thought. With them arriving, he feels like he finally had someone to talk to other than his aunts asking about how he"s doing, how his job is going, or if he"s married yet. The three of them are huddled up in the kitchen, camping out by the snack table with little plates of them in their hands.

"God, there was someone today who came into the emergency room for a bruise on their leg." Jaehyun"s eyebrows go up dramatically, "A bruise!"

"Aren"t you, like," Taeyong begins, "Breaking confidentiality laws right now?"

"Are you going to tell anyone?" His hand goes onto his hip as an eyebrow raises.

Taeyong backs up a little, "When did you become so sassy?"

"Hey," All three of them look to the source of the deep voice, seeing a babyless Johnny with a snack plate similar to their own. They open the circle a little so the eldest among them can step in and join, sandwiched between Taeyong and Doyoung. Taeyong all of a sudden finds the carrots on his plate very interesting.

"Where"s the little man?" Jaehyun asks.

Johnny chuckles, "Somewhere with my Mom, probably showing him off to every single person who will look."

"Who wouldn"t want to look at him?" He scoffs, looking at his snacks before picking up a cookie and chomping on it, "Cutest little stinker in the whole world."

"Jaehyun is obsessed with Jun," Doyoung says to Taeyong, "All he does is beg John to let him babysit. We even have a crib in our guest room."

"Hey!" He lets out, "Am I not allowed to love my god-child?!" He scoffs again and shakes his head before a smirk comes onto his face. He pokes Doyoung"s side, "Who knows, we could have a baby soon enough."

Doyoung rolls his eyes and pushes him away, "You have crumbs on your face."

He hastily wipes his face.

"How"s work going, Taeyong?" Johnny asks, getting the other"s attention.

He swallows his bite of food, still looking at the plate. "Uh, good." He nods his head, "Just finished up some projects before I came here."

"It"s so cool when I see the credits for a song and see the TY Track listed," He smiles, "Makes me feel like I know a celebrity."

He smiles and chuckles.

"Taeyong was in Milan last week," Doyoung tells the man, "Meeting with some big fashion house or something."

"I saw!" Johnny replies, "It"s so cool," He looks at the other with the biggest smile, "Really proud of you, Taeyong. Your music has always been amazing."

"This one is great, Taeyong." Johnny smiles at the other as he lowers his trombone into his lap, finishing a run through of Taeyong"s latest composition for him. "I think it"s your best yet, baby."

"It helps that you play so well."

The other moves to place the trombone on its stand, launching forward to climb atop the other on his bed as he giggles.

Taeyong smiles and his eyes are transfixed on his carrots, "Thanks, Johnny."

Taeyong eventually disappeared up to his bedroom, his social battery running out after dinner and present opening with gift giving. Some of his family members had left and he snuck up behind them. He"s changed out of his dress clothes and into comfy ones, laying on his bed and on his phone before a knock comes to his door. He sits up a little, "Come in." The door opens and Johnny steps in with Jun in his arms, diaper bag on his shoulder. It makes Taeyong"s eyes go a little wider, but seeing them doesn"t shock him as much as it did the other day.

"Hey," His voice is low, almost a whisper, "Can I change him in here? There really isn"t anywhere to do it downstairs where people can"t see."

He nods and moves on the bed so he has enough space.

"Thanks." He smiles, closing the door before walking to the edge of the bed and setting the baby down. He sets the diaper bag on the ground and squats, beginning to go through it.

"How old is he?" Taeyong asks.

"A year and a half now." The smile remains on his face as he pulls out a fresh diaper.

He hums and nods, looking to the baby as he looks back at him. The baby smiles and begins to babble, waving his hands around as his babbles turn to giggles. The actions make Taeyong smile.

Johnny sets the diaper down next to Jun"s head alongside a pair of pajamas. He lays down a paper towel under his butt, using his legs to lift him up before laying him back down. He shakes his head dramatically, "Stinky," He says as his hand goes to his nose to pinch it. It makes Jun laugh and shake his legs, almost like he"s jumping with excitement.

The sight makes Taeyong laugh.

The older takes off the baby"s clothes, inspecting around him. He hums, "Poopie," He lets out in a baby voice with a smile still on his face. What pulls Taeyong focus most is Johnny motioning with his hand, but he barely catches it. He pulls open the baby"s diaper and places the used in a pre-prepared trash bag. He cleans him up with wet wipes before placing them in the same trash bag before tying it up. He changes him into a fresh diaper and pajamas before letting out, "All done!"

Taeyong watches his hands this time. He holds them up and waves them out, showing the back of his hand and twisting both wrists to show his palms. He asks as Johnny picks Jun up, "Why do you do that? The stuff with your hands?"

"Oh!" His eyebrows raise a little, patting the baby"s back, "Jun"s deaf."

His eyes go wide, that being the last thing he could"ve guessed.

"He"s a completely healthy baby," He smiles and starts to pack up the diaper bag again, double wrapping the trash bag before putting it lightly inside. "Just was born a little different."

"I"m sorry, I didn"t mean to be insensitive."

He shakes his head, "You"re good, you didn"t know." The baby unfolds from Johnny"s chest looking at Taeyong. It takes him a moment before he"s squirming around, pointing up towards the ceiling as he tries to crawl out of Johnny"s arms. "Oh," The man giggles. He looks at Taeyong, "He wants you to hold him."

"How can you tell?"

"When he wants to be picked up, he"ll point up and try to move towards the person." He tilts his head a little, "Are you comfortable holding him?"

He blinks a few times before responding, "Uh, I haven"t held a baby in a long time."

"Do you want to hold him?" He asks. "You don"t have to say yes, Taeyong."

He bites his cheek before nodding and extending his hands, "I "wanna hold him."

Johnny giggles before standing and helping arrange the baby in the smaller"s arms. He watches as the baby begins to babble and grab onto Taeyong clothes, trying to hold him close. The sight makes him smile. He motions with his hand, his index and middle finger going up and down twice in front of his mouth with his thumb extended out, "Cute."

"He"s very cute."

"He"s my baby," He puts his hands on his hips very proudly, "Of course he"s cute."

He smiles as he looks at him, the way his little eyes look up at him. They"re as deep of a brown as Johnny"s, his eyes nearly the same shape too. He feels like he could tear up just looking at him. He looks back at John, who"s smiling widely at them. "I-I..." He looks at Jun again, "I can"t believe you made, like, a living thing."

The man chuckles before squatting down, looking up at Taeyong, "Me too."

"I can"t believe you have a son, John."

"Me too." He looks at Jun as he"s nodding off in the smaller"s arms, "Wasn"t expecting him, but nothing has ever felt so right as being his Dad."

He"s quiet for a minute, looking at Johnny again before looking back to Jun, his face full of apprehension.

"His Mom isn"t in the picture," He lets out, knowing exactly what Taeyong wanted to ask, "She hasn"t been since he was a couple weeks old. Her and I aren"t together anymore, she didn"t want to be a mother to Jun and I wanted to be his father, so we split."

"Oh."

"I could tell she stayed with me just because of him and a part of me hoped that Jun could help us grow closer together." He brings his hand to go right under Taeyong"s arm supporting Jun, "But after we began to realize he was deaf and were learning the things he"d need as he grows up, she couldn"t take it anymore." He sighs, "She wasn"t ready to take care of a kid, so the little man is all mine."

Taeyong smiles as Jun sleeps against his chest. He looks at Johnny, who meets his gaze a moment later, "From what I"ve seen, you"re a great Dad, Johnny."

The corners of his mouth tilt up, his hand rubbing on the other"s forearm, "Thanks, Taeyong."

A knock on the door nearly sends Johnny flying across the room, springing up and away from the bed. It"s Jaehyun. The man looks between the two other men for a minute before pointing behind him, "Uh, your parents are ready to head home, John."

"Right." He steps back over to Taeyong. He puts the diaper bag on his shoulder and is handed the baby, but he wakes up and loud cries rip from him. Johnny dramatically pulls his head away, "Jesus," He lets out, "You wouldn"t scream like this if you could hear yourself!" He"s kidding, he knows it would barely affect his sleepy tantrums.

Taeyong follows them down, finding the living room empty besides Doyoung, John"s parents, and his own.

"Boys!" Johnny"s Mom claps, a camera around her neck, "Pictures in front of the tree!"

"Mom..." Her son whines.

"Come on, come on," She motions for all of them to get in front of the lit up tree, "It"s the first time you"ve been together in a long time, we have to." They all line up, going Taeyong to Johnny (and a now quiet baby) to Jaehyun to Doyoung. Doyoung and Jaehyun must"ve cuddled up quickly because it doesn"t take long for Johnny"s mother to wave towards her son, "Put your arm around him! Don"t look stiff!"

The two look at each other for a minute, Taeyong looking up and Johnny looking down.

"Mom!" Taeyong whines out, stopping one of his feet and pouting.

"Let"s just take the pictures and be done," Johnny snakes his arm around the other and pulls him close, "It"ll be over in five seconds."

"It"s embarrassing!" He lets out, his tone high-pitched.

"Come on, Taeyong-ah," He rubs on his side, "She just needs the pictures, then we can enjoy the rest of Christmas morning. I promise it"ll be over fast."

His hand splays across Taeyong"s waist, his arm against his back. He visibly swallows, "Is this okay?"

He nods.

"Now say, "Santa!"" She lets out at the frontline of parents, all of their faces with the biggest smiles.

"Santa!" The four let out in unison, all falling into laughs after the camera clicking noises begin.

"I don"t think we"ve gotten our photos taken like that since high school," Jaehyun is the first to speak after John"s Mom stops taking photos and the parents begin talking again. His hands go to his hips in a very Dad-like stance, "Makes me feel young again."

Doyoung rolls his eyes and grabs the other"s wrist to pull him towards the parents, "I can"t believe I married an old geezer." He joins that circle, the two hugging all of them and thanking them for the party.

"Taeyong," Johnny pips out, making the other turn around to look at him again. He smiles, "Are you busy tomorrow?"

The other nearly misses what he asked, looking down at the man"s hand still on his waist.

He pulls his hand away then, "Sorry," Right after. He asks again when they lock eyes again, "Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Uh," He shakes his head, "No."

"Can we get lunch?" He readjusts Jun on his hip, "I want to treat you once before you go back home."

He blinks a couple times before he nods, looking away and adjusting his sleeves, "Yeah, thanks."

Johnny"s smile is wide, "Great." He follows the other two, thanking the parents before they all migrate to the door. Taeyong follows behind too, waving the parting six away with his parents.

He helps his parents clean up and pack some supplies away, unplugging all the lights and things along the way. He"s eventually dismissed and heads upstairs with a hot bowl of ramen and a beer from his stash. He sits at his very teenaged desk covered in stickers with his food and laptop. He turns on a video and has his meal, eventually finishing and leaving his finished items on the corner of his desk. He pulls his laptop closer and pulls his legs into his seat, opening his email and checking through any new ones.

URGENT -- huge opprotunity in the new year (From: [email protected])

He sees the email at the top, knowing it"s his agent from the spelling mistake, and opens it.

Ty, just got a huuuggeee client who wants you to work on their entire album, three singles and eight bsides. you"d need to stay in japan for a few months. I know you"re with your family right now, but you"d need to head there before christmas. the client wants to start work ASAP. let me know.

Sent From iPhone

His brow furrows a little. He told his management and his agent he was going to be away and wanted a break, but he also knows he wouldn"t be contacted if they didn"t think he"d want it. They"ve had times like this, where Taeyong was on a break and wasn"t working, and they seldom contact him unless they know he"d not want to miss the job. There was once where he was spending a couple weeks on Hawai"i and they called him a couple days in with a job. He left the island that night to head back to New York.

He checks the time and sees 11:49PM staring back at him.

Taeyong brings his head up to his mouth, biting on his thumbnail as he reads over the email repeatedly. He doesn"t know how long he does it, but once the metal taste of blood touches his tongue, he pulls his hand away and see"s he"d gnawed more than intended, "Shit." He waves his hand around, trying to stop the bleeding as he closes his laptop and stands. He goes to his bed and grabs his phone, opening it and checking his notifications.

The first on the list is a picture from Doyoung. It"s Jaehyun passed out in his clothes from the party, asleep face down on their bed with his shoes still on. He sent another message reading, I think I"m going to file for a divorce. I married a younger guy so he could keep me young, not act older than me. It makes him laugh as he hearts each message.

The next notification is from Johnny. It"s just a picture of Jun asleep in a car seat, droll hanging off his lip as he leans against the side of it. The sight makes him smile as he sits down on the edge of his bed.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Johnny looks over Taeyong"s shoulder to look at his phone too.

"Send photos randomly," The smaller opens up the picture he sent last night. It"s a picture of Johnny"s very clean room, which is a rare sight. Taeyong has seen his room completely maybe once or twice, but usually it"s full of scattered clothes on the floor or school papers scattered with empty cans piled on the desk.

The other giggles and wraps his arms around Taeyong, squeezing him so tight it makes him drop his phone onto the bed. The other squeaks and laughs as he"s turned onto his back with Johnny hovering above him, held up by his arms. He leans down to place a kiss on his cheek before responding, "Just like to show you what I"m doing," Kiss to his other cheek, "I want to feel like you"re always there."

He hearts the photo and puts his phone down on his nightstand. He lets out a deep breath before standing to get ready for bed.

🐱🎄🌹

Taeyong almost hates himself for dressing nicely on purpose.

Not as festive of dress as the night before, but nice. Fitted dark wash designer jeans, a light long sleeve top with a large jacket thrown on top. He puts on a pair of black boots and silver jewelry to match. He did his makeup more than he would for a normal outing with Doyoung or something, same for doing his hair, but he feels as though he can"t help it.

He took the car to the address Johnny sent him, ending up in a strip mall he remembers from before he moved. It makes him smile how the nail salon is still there at the end with the Coney Island right next to it. He"s going there, it"s a place he and Johnny used to go after he"d have a game on Friday nights. The thought of it makes him smile.

"Are you sure you don"t want to go with the team to dinner?" Taeyong plays with Johnny"s fingers in his lap as they sit in the strip mall"s parking lot. He wraps his hand around his index finger, before turning to look at him. He pouts a little, "It"s your last one, John."

"Awh," He lets out, bringing his other hand up to pinch Taeyong"s cheek until the other pulls away with an "ow!". He smiles and leans closer, "I"ve spent most of my Friday nights, Saturdays, and nearly everyday after-school with that group of sweaty teenage boys." He pulls his finger out of Taeyong"s hand so he can lock their fingers together completely. "I want to spend the last one with my boyfriend."

He lets out a heavy breath before turning off the car and getting out, closing the door and locking it after. As he walks up to the front door and looks inside, it looks the exact same. Outdated floral patterns with a display or cakes and treats next to the hostess stand. It makes him smile again as he steps inside.

"Taeyong!" He turns to see Johnny standing from a booth close to the front. He"s dressed in what looks like work clothes. A white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, brown dress pants with a matching belt and shoes. His hair is styled more than usual. It makes Taeyong feel a way he doesn"t want to admit, much like Johnny always seems to do.

He smiles at him and walks past the stand and to the booth, "Hi, Johnny."

The man has a large smile on his face as he"s greeted. He gestures to the booth, "Sit, please." The two do, facing each other. Johnny laughs as the other picks up the menu, leaning forward on the table with his elbows, making Taeyong look up. "You already know what you"re getting, I know you do."

"Ha," Taeyong lets out, setting it down and nodding, "You know me too well."

"How was your morning?" He asks, leaning back in the booth and crossing his arms.

"Good, slept in late."

"Lucky you!" The waitress comes over then and takes their orders. Johnny smiles when he orders for Taeyong and gets him exactly what he wanted. He chuckles as she leaves, "Still got it, huh?"

Taeyong rolls his eyes before he asks, "How was your morning?"

"Work, so it was whatever."

"What do you do?"

His eyebrows go up a little, "Doyoung didn"t tell you?"

Taeyong shakes his head.

"I work at the school with Doyoung!"

The younger"s eyebrows go up in surprise.

"I teach second grade!"

"Teach?!" He repeats. He points at him, "You, Youngho Suh, are a teacher?"

"Why is that so shocking?" He lets out.

"You hated school!" He throws his hands up dramatically, "So, so much! So, yes! It"s shocking!"

He waves his hand around, dismissing him and shaking his head, "Just makes me a fun teacher. I barely give homework because I don"t want to grade it."

"That is crazy, Johnny." The waitress comes back and gives them their drinks and a small basket of bread before walking away again.

"I can"t believe Doyoung didn"t tell you!"

He rolls his eyes to himself and takes a sip of his drink, "Me neither."

"Him, Jaehyun, and I have gotten really close since I started there." He grabs a piece of break and begins to tear pieces off to throw in his mouth, "Doyoung and I reconnected when I got hired before he became the principal, when he was still teaching fifth grade. Jaehyun came along with that, of course." Another bite, "Even closer to them after Jun was born. They really love him and have helped me out a lot ever since then.

He takes a piece of bread and yanks off a bite, "Got the gang back together without me?"

"You went on a date with Jaehyun?!" Taeyong lets out, shaking his best friend by his shoulders in the school"s main hallway, "My boyfriend"s best friend, Jaehyun?!"

"Yes!" He shouts, "Yes, I-I did!"

Taeyong stops shaking him and holds him still, staring into his eyes before he leans closer, "Tell. Me. Everything."

"I assumed Doyoung would"ve told you!" His expression and moves are dramatic and animated as he exclaims, "We"ve been pretty close for the past few years."

"I"ll have to ask him." He takes a sip of his drink, "How"s teaching?"

"I like it!" He smiles, "Kids are entertaining, summers off, holidays off, it"s pretty great. And being friends with your boss has its perks! It was the last day before Christmas break today and usually the teachers have to stay the whole normal school day while the kids get a half one, but Doyoung let me off early for this."

"Wow."

"How"s your work?" Johnny asks.

He leans back in his seat and groans, "Don"t even bring it up."

"What"s wrong?"

He brings a hand up and rubs his eyes, "Just, my agent emailed me yesterday for a project."

"That"s good, though, right?"

He pulls his hand away and looks at the other, "They want me to leave before Christmas."

Johnny"s eyes go wide, along with his eyebrows shooting up his forehead, "You can"t!" He lets out, "It"s Christmas! It"s been so long since you"ve been back! You have to stay!"

He nods, "I know," He looks at the table, "Just, need to think about it. Could be a big opportunity."

He"s quiet for a moment before saying, "If they want you to produce the project, shouldn"t they be willing to wait for you?" He leans a little closer and onto the table, "Even the biggest celebrities have to understand you want to spend time at home. I mean," He leans back dramatically and throws his arms up, "What if you had kids or something!" He scoffs, "They"d want their Dad home for Christmas!"

The younger of them can"t keep himself from smiling.

Taeyong stares at the message from his agent again, this time laying down before bed. He sighs deeply before he closes his phone and puts it to his chest. He stares at the ceiling, his thoughts so loud he doesn"t even know what they"re saying. His phone vibrates, making him pick it back up.

From Johnny, I had a good time today :) I hope you"ll let me treat you again before you go home.

He sighs again and puts the phone to his chest once more. It takes him a minute or two to pick his phone back up and type, me too! then for sure :) goodnight.

The typing bubble pops up instantly, but it disappears and doesn"t come back.

🐱🎄🌹

Taeyong whines into Doyoung"s side, smooshed up against him on the younger"s couch. Doyoung rubs his back, letting it happen as Christmas music rings in the house.

Jaehyun pops in from the kitchen, sliding in his socks on the hardwood with a mixing bowl in his hand. His brow furrows as he looks at the other two, "What"s wrong with him?"

Doyoung just shrugs as Taeyong lets out a dramatically loud whine. As he sees Jaehyun walk back to the kitchen, he leans his head back and asks, "Can you tell me now? People are going to start arriving soon for the party, I can"t sit here and hug you all night."

"Why not?" The older pulls away just to look up at him, making his eyes as wide as possible.

The other pulls him back down into a hug, "Tell me. I need to get the bar cart ready, so hurry up."

Another whine before saying, "I don"t know if I should go do that project I told you about," He pauses and squeezes the other tighter, "I"d have to leave tomorrow night."

"It"s up to you, I told you that." He pats his back, "Did you ask if they could push it back until after the holiday?"

Another whine.

"Taeyong, you"ve got to ask if you want to do it. The worst they can say is no, or you can pass on it." Another whine from the older before Doyoung pushes up, leaving Taeyong to lay on the couch alone. He walks towards the kitchen, "You"ve got to decide, Taeyong!"

He rolls over and looks at the ceiling, sighing as he stares.

Taeyong greets a few friends from high school that Doyoung and Jaehyun kept in contact with, most living around still or people he doesn"t know who are working at the school with Doyoung and John. He enjoyed meeting new people, people who don"t know him or are trying to network. Most of the parties he goes to, especially holiday parties in New York, they"re nearly all work events. It"s been longer than he can remember having a calm time like this.

He saw Johnny arrive a bit late, instantly becoming the man of the party Taeyong has known him to be. He"s dressed in a Christmas button up sweater with a white button up underneath and a bow tie. The top of his outfit almost makes Taeyong laugh. He"s childless tonight, overhearing him say something about how his parents are watching Jun. He feels someone tap his shoulder eventually, meeting Johnny"s face once he turns around.

"Hey, Taeyong." Johnny smiles. He pushes his snack plate forward, "Want some?"

The other laughs, shaking his head, "I"m good. I"ve been eating them for the past few hours when I was helping them set up." He holds up his glass, "Wine is enough for tonight."

He laughs and nods, taking a bite of his cracker with cheese, "How"ve you been? Decided on leaving or not yet?"

"I don"t know," He looks at his wine glass and swishes it around, "Still not sure."

"You need to decide soon, no?"

He nods, "Suppose to leave tomorrow."

The older lets out a breath, "Let"s not think about it then." Another smile, "Let"s just have a good time."

Taeyong nods and smiles.

At some point, the two migrated to the couch together where the majority of people are gathered. Over the past hour or so, Johnny had been nursing his beer on his childless night rather relentlessly. Taeyong laughs as Johnny holds onto his hand in his lap, shaking it around as he laughs at whatever the person next to him is saying.

"Johnny," Taeyong giggles out as the older has him against the wall, kissing his neck and squeezing his hips tight after finishing off his drink. He tries his best to push him off playfully, "Come on, Johnny," He whines dramatically, "People are looking."

"I don"t care." He states, the words vibrating off Taeyong"s eardrums. It makes the smaller grip on Johnny"s shoulders go stiff. Johnny chuckles, his hand splaying over his hip and dipping slightly into his waistband. "I want them to see how much I love you."

He chugs the rest of his wine before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Thank you for staying and helping clean," Doyoung says to the two, looking between them in the kitchen, three full trash bags sitting next to their home"s back door. "You guys didn"t have to, you"re guests."

"Barely." Taeyong rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, "I know the second I got home, you would"ve complained that I didn"t stay and help."

"I wouldn"t have because I know John would"ve stayed anyways and then I could"ve convinced Jaehyun to let me go take a bath while the two of them clean if I let him get in with me after. He does whatever I want if I promise him a warm bath."

"He lets you do and have anything you want all the time." Johnny adds in, "I think he would have to die before he"d make you so much as lift a finger. But, you always do help even if you act like you wouldn"t!"

"Party without me?" Jaehyun comes in with his winter coat, boots, and gloves on. He puts his hands on his hips and cocks an eyebrow, "Are you hitting on my husband, Suh?"

Johnny"s brow furrows as Taeyong laughs, "No! Why would I do that?!"

His eyes squint a little, "Your face is red." The way Johnny"s face gets more red makes Jaehyun smile before he grabs the trash bags, "I"m messing with you," He goes to open the back door as he sets one bag down against his leg, "And you know I would absolutely fucking murder-" His speech stops, grabbing everyone else"s attention.

A small pile of snow falls in from where it piled against the door, loud wind noises and falling snow coming straight into the house, the outside completely blurred from the speed and density at which snow is falling. Jaehyun drops the other bag of trash and has to use his whole body to shut the door again, the room going silent by the time he gets it shut. He looks at the rest of them, his entire front half covered comically in snow.

Jaehyun"s eyes are huge as he blinks at them before he says quietly, "Shit."

Doyoung pulls his phone out of his back pocket, opening it and announcing, "Storm"s here."

"Oh, really?" Jaehyun says in an "obviously" kind-of voice as he brings his gloved hands to get the snow off of himself.

He rolls his eyes as he scrolls, "Weather advisory," He looks up and between the two guests, "I think you two should stay here tonight."

"I"m just down the road, I-" Johnny begins, but is cut off.

"I can"t have you get in an accident or something," Jaehyun launches himself forward and wraps his entire body around the older, "I"d die without you, man."

Johnny looks at the other two, who are staring, before he hugs the other back, "O-Okay... I"ll stay, Jae, it"s fine."

He doesn"t pull away, just nods into the other"s neck and he holds him tighter.

"I"m fine with staying." Taryong says.

"It"ll be like high school!" Jaehyun pulls away, his hands on Johnny"s shoulders with the biggest smile. He looks at the others, "Do you guys remember that trip we took after John graduated?"

"John..." Taeyong whines, trying to push the other away with the crinkle of a sleeping bag filling the silence of the campground night.

The older kisses Taeyong"s neck, pulling him up by the hips until his butt hits his own crotch. He bites his earlobe, sticking his tongue in his ear for a moment before asking, "Please?" Another lick, "It"ll be good and you"ll feel good," Another bite, "Jae and Doyoung won"t hear, I"ll be gentle, Yong." His large and moves to grip on his butt, squeezing in a way that make"s Taeyong"s back arch, "Please, baby?"

Both Johnny and Taeyong turn a little red.

"It"ll be like that!" Jaehyun continues. He steps away from Johnny, but keeps one hand on his shoulder as he lets out a chuckle, "Just," He motions between Johnny and Taeyong, "You know."

"Jaehyun," Doyoung lets out as he closes his eyes, like a frustrated mother. He unclenches his fists next to his sides, "Can you go make sure the guest room is ready?"

He doesn"t need to be told twice and bolts out of the room, mostly in excitement.

"Sorry," Doyoung looks between them, "He is dense, you guys know that."

"It"s fine!" Johnny shakes his hands a little panicked.

Taeyong just laughs.

"Why don"t you guys go to the living room? I"ll finish up in here and start on some frozen cookies."

They both follow Doyoung"s orders, making their way to the room.

"Sorry about that," Johnny says as they stop before the Christmas tree."

"What?" He replies.

"What Jaehyun said," He"s not looking at the other, just the lights twinkling on the tree and Doyoung"s meticulously placed ornaments. "If it made you uncomfortable."

Taeyong shakes his head after a moment, "No, it didn"t. We dated," He shrugs, "It"s whatever."

He"s quiet for a little while before asking, "Do you ever miss it?"

The younger knows what he means, but he still asks, "Miss what?"

"Dating," He looks at the other, "Not just me, I mean." It comes out a little panicked, "I haven"t heard of you dating anyone else from Doyoung or on social media or anything."

"I mean," He trails off a little, "I didn"t even know you had a kid. I could have a husband and kids at home."

He chuckles, "But you"re famous, I"m not. I would"ve heard it."

"I do miss dating," You, but he doesn"t say it, "But, I"ve been alone for so long that I don"t even really remember it." Though he remembers nearly every detail of dating the other. "And I travel so much for work that I think it would be unfair to someone if I dated them and was gone a lot."

He hums and nods. He looks back to the tree and waits nearly a minute before saying, "If someone loves you, they"d be able to find a way to work around your schedule. When you love someone, you want them to follow their passions even if it means missing them." He looks back at Taeyong, looking down to meet his eyes, "You do anything for them in order to stay with them."

"Please don"t make this harder than it is."

Johnny gulps, taking a deep breath before he releases the grip on Taeyong"s hand to just hold onto his fingertips. He looks back to his lap, "P-Please, Taeyong," He takes another breath, it shaky from his tears. He wipes his eyes with one hand before it returns to holding Taeyong"s, "I-I love you. Please let me try to make it work," He sniffles, "I-I don"t want to lose you."

Taeyong looks away, almost backing up a little. He gulps before saying, "I-I"ll go grab us drinks." And he nearly bullets to the kitchen, but stops in his tracks before he makes it into the kitchen, looking in just through the archway. He sees Doyoung watching dishes at the sink, the biggest gummy smile on his face as Jaehyun hugs him, his chest against his back. Taeyong watches how Jaehyun slides his hands under the other"s shirt, tickling him and making him drop the spoons he was cleaning. If Taeyong did that to him, he"d probably get yelled at, but with Jaehyun, Doyoung just laughs and leans his head against the taller"s shoulder. Jaehyun leans down slightly to place a kiss on his lips. Taeyong takes that as his sign to turn back around.

The younger walks back into the living room, stepping up to Johnny as the older fiddles with the Christmas tree. "Out of beer," He announces.

"Dang," He lets out before putting his hands in his pockets and looking at the other, "Maybe it"s my sign to stop drinking for the night."

"You did get a little..." Taeyong trails off a little, "A little much earlier."

Johnny looks down with a giggle, "Sorry about that, you know how I get when I drink."

"You hold it better than you used to." A smile comes to his face, "I remember in school you"d always end up wrestling someone, on top of me, or throwing up right before you made it to the toilet."

The older laughs, his hand going to cover his mouth, "Do you remember that time after my Prom, after Doyoung dropped us off and your parents let me spend the night?"

"You threw up all over my floor!" Taeyong lets out dramatically, "An inch away from the toilet! I had to throw out my bath mats and shower curtain then lie to my parents and say I tripped and bled everywhere!"

"I"m," Johnny pauses as he leans against the bathtub"s edge to cover his mouth from his burp, scared he"ll have a repeat round of spit up, "I"m sorry..." He trails off, his speech slurred as he struggles to even keep his eyes open.

Taeyong huffs as he throws away the final paper towel, looking at the other as he pulls off his mother"s cleaning gloves. He stands up and hoists the larger up as best he can, him feeling two times his weight due to his current state. He walks him over to his bed, letting him flop down as a loud snore rips out from him. Taeyong looks up at the ceiling and groans.

Johnny keeps laughing as he tries to get out, "I"m still sorry about that."

"It was over ten years ago, John, I"m over it."

"Still," He finishes.

"Sleepover!" Jaehyun comes barreling into the room, Doyoung following behind him. The younger smiles and rocks on the balls of his feet a bit, "I would want us to keep drinking or something so we can really throw it back to high school, but Taeyong needs his sleep for tomorrow."

Taeyong nods, almost in an earnest manner.

"Who"s taking the guest room?" Doyoung asks, arms crossed, "Whoever doesn"t will be on the couch."

"Taeyong can take it," Johnny states almost before Doyoung can finish his sentence, "He has to get good sleep to fly."

"No," Taeyong puts his hand up, like a "stop," "I know for a fact that John is too tall to be able to lay down on the couch without his feet on the armrest."

"I can scrunch up!" He lets out, "And I sleep in socks! My feet are more than able to stick out!"

"You guys could just share the guest bed," Jaehyun says, making the room go silent. "It"s a king bed for a reason! More than enough room to share."

It"s quiet for a moment before Doyoung slaps his husband"s arm lightly, "What the hell is wrong with you-"

He"s cut off by Taeyong letting out, "That"s fine." He looks at Johnny before looking back at the other two, "I"m okay with sharing as long as John is too."

It takes a moment of the three looking at him before he nods, "Yeah, okay with me!"

"It"s settled!" Jaehyun puts his hands on his hips with the biggest smile, "Your suite awaits you!"

"Use the hallway bathroom to wash up. Each of your pajama sets are in there," Doyoung points towards it, "I"ll set an alarm for early so I can make breakfast and hope that the snow has let up so Taeyong can get home and see his parents before he goes."

They both nod before the couple leads them to their room. Jaehyun leans against the door frame with his arms crossed, "I feel like I"m putting my kids to bed the night before Christmas." He looks at Doyoung who is next to him. He giggles and moves to lean onto the other and make him bump into the other side of the frame, "Though I won"t have to imagine soon enough..."

He rolls his eyes and pushes the other off, "Goodnight, guys." And he grabs his husband, pulling him out of the room. Jaehyun shouts something that sounds like a "goodnight" as he"s dragged away.

"You wash up first," Johnny sits on the bed and turns on the side table lamp. "No arguing, you need more sleep than I do."

Taeyong barks out a laugh before he nods and does as he"s told. He finds two folded piles of clothes in the bathroom. He holds them up to try and figure out who"s who, both sets look like Jaehyun"s. It would make sense, Doyoung would rather set himself on fire before he"d let someone wear his clothes. He takes a shower quickly and washes his face, then brushing his teeth with one of the extra toothbrushes they keep in one of the drawers. He rubs the towel on his hair one more time before heading out and back into the guest room.

He finds Johnny nodding off, sitting up on the bed still in his dress clothes, but his head leaned back trying to stay awake. It makes Taeyong laugh, which wakes the other up. He can"t help but smile back, bringing his hand to cover his face as it turns red. He swings his legs over the bed and rubs his face, "I"m tired."

"You never change," He laughs again as he walks to the bed and sits on his own side, "You"ve always been able to fall asleep in a second, Johnny."

He stands and makes his way towards the door, "Neither do you, Taeyong-ah."

The other isn"t sure what he means. He thinks about it as he scrolls through his phone, but he"s not sure he"ll ever figure it out. His phone vibrates, almost making him jump.

URGENT -- Stop ignoring me! (From: [email protected])

He groans.

Ty, I need to know if you will be on that plane tomorrow or not. the client needs to know if you will be working with them or not. let me know Now!

Sent From iPhone

He stares and stares, but can"t find himself able to click the reply button. He takes so long his phone fades out and turns out by the time he hears the bathroom door open and a large, somewhat wet man walks in. The clothes are slightly tight on him because Jaehyun is barely smaller than him, while Taeyong is swimming in his. The man is red, probably because he often takes showers in boiling hot water, if he"s the same as when they were younger.

"Why do you look concerned?" Johnny asks, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull on his socks.

"How can you tell I"m concerned?"

He chuckles, "Whenever you"re concerned, you furrow your brows together and hold your bottom lip between your teeth."

Taeyong goes quiet for a moment, a smile coming onto his face before he laughs. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do," He stands as he pulls back the covers on his side. He yanks on the blanket under Taeyong and the younger gets the idea, pushing up so it can be pulled out from under him. Johnny sits down and swings his legs onto the bed, pulling the covers over the both of them. He smiles as he looks over at the other, "How could I forget anything about you, Taeyong?" He laughs when he looks away from his face turning red. He lays down and lets out a sign, "What"s got you concerned?"

"Just," He leans his head back on the headboard to look at the ceiling, "I still haven"t decided if I"m leaving tomorrow or not and I was supposed to decide tonight, but I feel even less sure than I was before."

"What are you leaning towards?"

"I don"t even know." He states, "Like, I want to be here for Christmas, want to spend it with you guys and have one with my parents, even be here for New Years, but I also don"t want to lose a job opportunity."

"You"ll have more of both in the future, like Christmas" and job opportunities," He rolls over onto his side and looks at the other again, "But, you"re already here, Taeyong. You"ll never be able to get what you already started back."

His hands go over his face, "God, why did you have to say that?" He knows the other is going to take that in a way he doesn"t intend, so he adds, "Why do you have to say the right thing even though it"s not the answer I want?"

"It"s easier to do what you feel an obligation to rather than to do what you want."

He almost lets out a dramatic whine like a kid.

"Do whatever you want, Taeyong-ah." He rolls to his other side, sitting up a little to turn off the lamp before flopping back down. He lets out a heavy, tired sigh, "I"d be happy if you stayed, Yong. Goodnight."

He stares at the other for probably too long in the dark before he unlocks his phone again, turning down his brightness all the way as he does.

No Subject (To: [email protected])

Cancel the flight, I want to stay home. Tell them I"ll do it after New Years, but I won"t do it now.

Sent From iPhone

🐱🎄🌹

Taeyong wakes up in bed alone, bright light pouring into the room from the sun bouncing off the snow. He groans and closes his eyes again as he rolls over, his face landing right on the pillow Johnny was sleeping on. He hates that he inhales it in too long to try and get any scent he can get out. He pushes himself up and rubs his eyes, grabbing his phone and getting up to walk across the hall to the bathroom.

Once he finishes, he texts his parents that he"ll be home soon and that he"ll be staying home for sure now. Their responses make him smile.

"How do you want your eggs, Taeyong?" Doyoung asks when he hears the other.

He goes up to the other"s side at the stove, sliding his arms around his waist in a way that makes the other jump a bit. He leans his head onto his shoulder, "Scrambled, please."

"Why are you being so cuddly?" He asks.

"Did Johnny not cuddle you last night to your liking?" Jaehyun pipes up from the dining table, then he smiles from the way Doyoung shoots daggers at him.

"Am I not allowed to love you?" Taeyong asks, squeezing the other extra tight.

He can"t stop himself from smiling, "I love you too, but this is rather uncharacteristic of you." He swings his hip to bounce the other off of him a bit as he scrambles the eggs, "What time are you going home to pack?"

Taeyong giggles and hugs him again.

"Hm," He lets out, laughing and taking one hand off the spatula to wrap it around Taeyong"s back to hold him back, "Did our Johnny talk you into staying?"

"Maybe."

He laughs and squeezes him, "Good, I get to bother you until New Years now."

"You need to get more room spray, Doyoung," Johnny"s voice booms out from the hallway, "I just obliterated that bathroom, I almost feel bad for it." His sentence finishes once he steps into the kitchen, his eyes going wide as he sees both Taeyong and Doyoung staring at him. He blinks a couple times, before letting out, "Oops."

"I feel bad for that toilet too." Doyoung says before he turns back to the eggs, taking the skillet off and transferring them to a bowl, "Taeyong is staying, thanks for convincing him."

"Really?" Johnny"s eyes are wide again, this time for a different reason.

"Yup," Taeyong moves to sit across from Jaehyun at the table, "You were right. I"ll never get this Christmas back, I should enjoy it while I"m here rather than looking for the next thing that comes my way."

Johnny smiles and sits next to him, "I"m glad, Taeyong-ah."

The two stare at each other for a little too long, so long that Jaehyun stares at them as they stare. Doyoung breaks it all, letting out, "Jaehyun! Help me get all this to the table!" And the younger man jumps up so fast he nearly breaks the glass Christmas tree Doyoung has decorated the table with.

Taeyong and Johnny leave around the same time, both hugging Doyoung and Jaehyun and wishing them a Merry Christmas before walking to their cars in the driveway. Johnny has his hands dug into his coat pockets, dressed in the same clothes as yesterday underneath. He stops next to Taeyong as he unlocks his car, but the other lunges forward to open the door for him.

"Thanks," Taeyong says with a smile.

He holds onto the door as he climbs inside. He doesn"t close it when he gets in. He hesitates for a moment before asking, "Are you busy tomorrow?" He begins to panic after spitting it out, "I mean, it"s Christmas Eve, so I-I"d get it if you were, but I just-"

"I"m not," He says as he turns the key in the ignition, looking up at him after, "I"m not busy."

"Can I make you dinner?" He asks, his cheeks turning red either from the cold or embarrassment.

It takes it a moment to register, but his smile returns as he nods, "I"d like that."

"Cool," He lets out a sigh, like he was holding it in for a painful amount of time. He smiles, "I"ll text you?"

"Sounds good."

"See you tomorrow, Taeyong-ah." He has the biggest smile on his face as he closes the door for him and walks to his own car.

Taeyong watches him from the side mirror, watching the way he almost skips to his car and nearly falls down along the way. He laughs before leaving, en route to his house.

🐱🎄🌹

"Hi!" Johnny lets out as he opens the door for Taeyong, smiling at him while wearing a button up with an apron over it (reading: This is what a cool Grandma looks like!). He invites him inside, "Come in, come in."

Taeyong does as he"s told, stepping in and beginning to take off his shoes once the other closes the door. He starts to unzip his coat as he looks around, "It"s cute."

"I haven"t had much time to decorate," He takes his coat for him and hangs it on one of the hooks next to the door, "Jun and work take up all my time." A loud yell rips from inside the house, prompting John, "Speaking of the little man!" The yelling keeps going until Johnny leads the other into the living room, where a baby playpen is located. Jun stops instead to stare at Taeyong. "I need to go strip the pot on the stove," He goes through the dining room and into the open concept kitchen, "Say "Hi" to him!"

He walks over to the edge and squats down a little to be at his level. He smiles at him and waves, "Hi."

Jun decides that chomping on his fingers is the best response. He rocks on his butt a little bit, staring at Taeyong like he"s never seen him before.

The action makes Taeyong smile. He raises his hand to his chin, putting the two fingers on it and extending his thumb before he pulls his hand down, doing it a few times.

"What do you want to drink, Taeyong?"

He stands and walks to the kitchen, "Just water, please." He sees the other grabbing two glasses, putting each under the water filter on the fridge. He looks over the stove to see what"s there, "Soup?"

"And warming up various meats in the oven!" He responds, walking to set the glasses on the dinner table. He comes back to stand at Taeyong"s side, pulling open the oven to look at the dishes inside. "I"ve been cooking all day, I feel like it"s Thanksgiving."

"Really?"

He nods with a warm smile, "Wanted to make sure it was amazing." He puts on a set of oven mitts before starting to pull some of them out, "I don"t have work and I"ve learned to like cooking over the best few years, though I have a preference for baking," He stands back up completely after getting them all out, taking off the mitts and putting his hands on his hips. He lets out, "I"ve grown up a lot in ten years!"

"As have we both, John." He says with a similarly warm smile on his face. He turns around to start opening the cabinets, "Where are the plates? Let me set the table."

"You"re the guest, you don"t have to."

"I want to, especially after you doing all this."

He chuckles before pulling one of the cabinets open for him, "Thanks, Taeyong-ah."

The younger takes a couple plates and bowls, walking them to the table, setting them in front of chairs across from each other, the ones closest to the highchair at the end of the table. He goes back to the kitchen, "What is Jun having for dinner?"

He points at a small container next to the stove, "Pasta tonight, it"s just cooling down now."

"Where is his plate?" Taeyong looks through the cabinets again, "What else does he have with his food? I"ll get it."

Johnny turns around, stopping his preparation of each dish, "You want to make his plate?"

He turns to face him before he nods.

The older stares blankly for a second, almost sad looking, before looking back to what he was doing. "Uh, his plate and spoon are on the dish drying rack. He has some bread with his dinner, it"s already on the table."

He does as he"s told, grabbing the plate with some new aged cartoon character he doesn"t know (a dog with a cop uniform on?), and takes the container of pasta, checking its warmth on the outside before putting it down on one of the sections of the plate. He goes to the fridge, "Are these little juices his?"

"Yeah."

He grabs it and his plate before taking it to the highchair. He looks between the highchair and the baby in the playpen before asking, "Will he get mad at me if I pick him up and bring him to his chair?"

Johnny laughs from the kitchen, "He"s pretty used to other people and he already has met you before, he should be okay with it."

He walks over to the playpen and squats down for a moment, waving at him again. "Is there a way that I can sign to him that I"m going to pick him up?"

The other is quiet for a second before saying, "Point up at the ceiling, not your whole arm, just with your hand."

"Up," He says while pointing, finding himself almost astonished at the way Jun extends his arms forward like he"s waiting for him to grab him. The action makes Taeyong smile. He grabs him, picking him up and placing him on his hip. He walks him over to the table as Johnny is bringing the dishes in and setting them down. The man smiles at them. Taeyong laughs, "You have the cutest baby in the entire world, Johnny."

"What can I say," He shrugs his shoulders as he goes back for his last trip, this time grabbing the soup, "My genes are strong."

He rolls his eyes, "I"m so sure." He puts him in his seat and smiles when Jun smiles up at Taeyong. He pushes his plate forward for him, "Is he fine to eat on his own and everything?"

"Yeah," He comes back in and sets the pot down, "Little man is good with his spoon, I trust him." He gestures towards the now eating baby before he sits down, "I mean, just look at my fine offspring right there."

Taeyong laughs.

Johnny has a huge smile on his face as he gestures for the other to sit down, which he does and he himself follows. He lets out a breath as he grabs his glass of water and raises it. Taeyong is all giggly as he follows his action. "To a Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, John." He says as they clink their glasses, each taking a drink.

"Dig in, dig in. I expect you to eat all of this on your own.

The younger laughs loudly.

"That really was amazing, John." Taeyong leans back in his seat, patting his stomach dramatically, "I"m stuffed."

Johnny stands and starts to gather the plates, "I"m glad." He can see Taeyong going to stand to clean up, but he puts his hand on his shoulder to keep him down, "You"re the guest. I"m doing this. No complaints."

He rolls his eyes and accepts defeat. He looks to Jun, who is busy fiddling with his dessert, which is plain bread. Taeyong smiles at him, "What are your plans for Christmas tomorrow?"

"Uh," He talks as he takes trips back and forth. "Wake up whenever Jun does, breakfast, help him open his presents, then play with him and the presents for a little while, then my parents are coming over with their presents for him. Doyoung and Jaehyun might come over too." He comes back into the dining room once he"s finished, "Do you want to come over too? If your parents aren"t going to keep you busy all day."

He smiles and nods at him, "I"d love to."

The older smiles back, "Great." He walks over to the highchair and picks Jun up dramatically, tossing him into the air a little before cradling him to his chest as he laughs. He rocks him around a little, "Gotta" get a poopy out of him before he can go to bed."

He laughs as he stands up and pushes his chair in, "You are such a Dad."

"Well!" He almost presents Jun, "I am!"

They eventually move to the couch and turn on a Christmas movie. Johnny left to wash dishes and Taeyong was in charge of the baby, which he asked for. He surprisingly enjoys holding him and just staring, or letting him play with his fingers. Once the baby lets go of his hand and makes an exceptionally adorable noise, he brings his hand up and places his index and middle finger on his chin with his thumb extended, pulling them down. The sign makes the baby laugh and giggle, which just makes Taeyong keep doing it.

"You remembered how to sign cute?"

Johnny"s voice makes him jump a little but he nods and smiles, "Of course," He looks back to Jun and does the sign again, "He"s too cute not to be told so."

He can"t help himself. He rushes forward as quickly as he can without disrupting Jun on his lap, and kisses Taeyong. He almost pulls away right after he actually does it, fearful of what he just did, but Taeyong"s free hand going to the back of the other"s neck and keeping him close just makes Johnny kiss him deeper. His hand comes up to go to each of his cheeks, making sure he can"t pull away until he"s satisfied.

That doesn"t come till a few moments later, them pulling off with a pop and each breathing heavy.

"Um," Johnny looks nervous before he motions to the baby, who just saw everything go down, "I should get him into bed."

"Right," He passes him into the other"s arms, fixing his own slightly messed up hair after as Johnny walks away. He gulps and brings his hand up to bite on the skin around his fingers, feeling the panic set in. His thoughts run wild until he hears footsteps coming back in, looking up only to see Johnny crowd his space and kiss him again, just as deep as before.

It goes on for so long that Taeyong"s brain feels fuzzy and the movie in the background is nothing but background noise.

"I"ll do anything I can to make this work," Johnny tells him, looking right into his eyes, pulling off just enough to be able to. His hands go around his waist, pulling him off the couch and so he has to look down at him, "Because I never stopped loving you, Taeyong-ah. Seeing you back home and around my son..." He trails off for a moment, "It has just solidified my love for you. It never faded."

The younger brings his arms up to grab on the taller"s neck, pulling him down to lock their lips together in a tight kiss. He pops off for a second to let out, "I"ve always loved you, I didn"t stop either." Another kiss, Johnny moving his hands to go under Taeyong"s thighs and pick him up. Taeyong leads the kiss as best he can before taking another moment to say quietly, "I want to do anything to make this work, I"m not that seventeen year old who couldn"t think beyond the month. I know what I want and what I deserve," He pauses for a moment, just staring down at the brown eyes looking up at him with his reddening face, "Because I love you, Youngho."

"Fuck," He lets out as he pulls Taeyong down to kiss him again, taking only a minute before rushing them to his bedroom. He flicks the light on with one of his hands, not breaking their kiss until he sets the other down on his large bed. He smiles down at him crawling over him, "Gonna" keep the lights on," His hand slides under Taeyong"s shirt, splaying on his stomach and making the other arch up, "Need to see all of you in detail."

He giggles as he looks up at him, his shadow covering his own body. He brings his legs up to wrap around the other"s waist. He pulls him down so his hardening crotch hits his butt, "I"ve missed you, Johnny-ah."

His other hand moves to cup Taeyong"s cheek, leaning down further until he"s able to place a light kiss on his cheek, "I"ve missed you most."

Taeyong"s smile is so wide it almost hurts. His hand moves to grab the man"s wrist, "Show me how much you"ve missed me."

He laughs and closes his eyes for a moment before looking back at him, "I"ll show you as long as you"d like me to."

"Good thing you don"t have work tomorrow." Taeyong smirks.

"Shit," He whispers before diving back down to kiss him. His hand moves to lace into his hair, gripping his head and pulling him as close as he can to kiss him as deeply as possible. He grinds his crotch into the other as hard as he can, trying to feel any bit of relief.

The smaller moans as he arches his back once more, his hands moving to Johnny"s shoulders to push him off as strongly as he can. He looks at him, Johnny looking like he"s a feral dog. He catches his breath before saying, "Get inside me now."

He smiles before standing back up, unlatching himself from the other and going to his dresser and digging through it for a few minutes before returning to the bed. He throws the bottle down before grabbing under Taeyong"s arms and pulling him up the bed so he"s against the headboard. He places a kiss on his lips, "You"re beautiful, Taeyong." His hands slip under his top, pushing it up so his chest is revealed.

The other gasps, looking away and closing his eyes as he feels hands splay over him. He lets out a moan when the large hands cup his pecks.

"Your tattoos are beautiful," Johnny leans down to kiss the parts of his body that have changed since the last time he saw him, "They fit you well, baby."

Another moan at the name alone.

Johnny giggles against his skin before he sits up to grab on his top and pulls it over his head, "Do you need any time to... prepare?"

He shakes his head, not looking at him, "I-I did before I came here."

The man lets out a full belly laugh now, going to kiss his neck, "Did you want this, Taeyong-ah?"

He nods reluctantly, "Subconsciously, I didn"t want to admit it to myself."

"Why not?"

"I..." He turns to look at the other, "I didn"t want to admit I was wrong."

He smiles at him warmly, moving his hand to cup the other"s cheek, "You weren"t wrong. Just wasn"t our time then."

Taeyong pouts a little.

Johnny laughs again and kisses him, "I never stopped loving you."

"Me neither, Johnny."

Taeyong feels as though he"s going to fall asleep at any second as he lays on the other"s bed, nude against his soft sheets and hears the shower run. He was offered a full scrub down in the shower, but didn"t feel like getting up. Johnny basically gave him a sponge bath, which led to him being even more sleepy after the activities they"d participated in for a few hours. The snow began to fall as they"d been intimate, making tomorrow a white Christmas.

The older comes out of the bathroom soon enough with a towel around his waist, the biggest smile adorning his face. He giggles as he walks past the bed and to his dresser, "Still don"t like to sleep in pants?"

"No," He laughs and rolls over, "You know me too well."

"It feels like we"re kids again." Johnny says as he puts on a pair of Christmas pajamas pants, walking over to the bed with a pair of boxers in his hand. He turns off the lights on his way there. "Just, more sure."

He sits up and laughs as Johnny puts the boxers on him before he climbs into the bed too. Taeyong rests against his chest, his arm going across his bare chest, "I don’t want to live in the past, I don’t want you to just be memories to me anymore. I"m sure that this is what I want, Johnny. No matter what it takes."

"That"s all I"ve ever wanted to hear, Taeyong." He kisses the top of his head and squeezes him. "Hey, look," Johnny shows Taeyong his phone home screen, showing it past midnight, "It"s Christmas."

Taeyong takes a second to register it before laughing. He takes the other"s face into his hands and pulls him closer to place a kiss on his lips, "Merry Christmas, Johnny."

He giggles as he kisses him back and drops his phone, "Merry Christmas, Taeyong-ah."