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her gaze turned to Nancy. she had her head leaning against the window; her eyes closed. she looked exhausted and drained. Robin gripped the steering wheel tightly to keep from leaning over and brushing her hair back, stroking her cheek, promising her the fucking world if it would make her smile.
I would love you, darling. I would give you my whole heart if it would make a fucking difference. I would take your place, I would spit flowers and I knew I was doomed as long as you were okay.
But it wasn't her who was hit. her love couldn't help if Nancy didn't want her back.
"I'm so sorry, Robin," Nancy whispered.
"Hey pretty girl," Robin said quickly. "No. You don't need to apologize, okay? she hesitated before deciding to reach out. she touched Nancy's arm, near her wrist. I wish she was brave enough to take Nancy’s hand. “I’m serious. I will be there as you need me.
Nancy's eyes were still closed but her smile changed, seeming to become almost mocking. Robin didn't understand why, but it was enough to make her touch her hand.
“Nancy?”
But Nancy convulsed, coughing rapidly and grabbing the bag, spitting even more petals inside. it was hard to rub her back in this position, but Robin unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned down, one hand on her shoulder and the other on the back of her neck, her fingers tangling gently in the strands of her hair.
"It's okay, baby," Robin whispered, without thinking. "You can get through this, honey. I'm here. I'm here."
“Fuck,” Nancy panted when she was finished, laughing bitterly. "It's so fucked up, you know? Go through the fucking Upside Down and this shit still hangs on, Barb dying, Jon leaving. Just fuck me up. I'm finally getting something something good and everything goes to shit.
she looked choked and raw and when Robin tilted her head to get a better look, there were tears in Nancy's eyes. she didn't know if it was because of the cough or the situation, but Robin felt like she deserved it either way. When one slipped, Robin moved instinctively, wiping it with her thumb, eventually cupping its cheek.
Nancy's eyes widened in surprise and she met Robin's gaze. Robin almost wanted to recoil from this, to hold Nancy like this; so delicately and with the affection she always tried to hide or disguise.
“Robin?”
she smiled a little, but she didn't move away. Nancy didn't like her , she knew that, but Nancy needed someone by her side right now. Someone who would take care of her and give her everything she needed.
“I’m here,” she said, a quiet promise. “No matter what, pretty girl.”
Nancy's breath hitched. she closed her eyes and it seemed almost painful. But then something changed. When she opened them again, her expression was determined. she reached out and grabbed Robin's shirt, digging her fist into the fabric. Robin's eyes widened as she was pulled further through the car until their faces were inches apart.
she inhaled, her eyes unconsciously drifting to Nancy's lips before bringing them back to her eyes. Nancy's gaze was fixed on her with the same focused intensity. Robin wanted to hide under it, make a joke to lighten the mood and keep her from shaking or doing something stupid.
“Will you be there no matter what?”
“N-Nancy?” she asked.
"You promise?" Nancy asked, painful desperation reflected in her expression.
Robin nodded slowly, wanting this anger to go away. she also dared to let her thumb brush Nancy's jaw."I promise."
Nancy exhaled sharply and they were so close she could feel it.
“Okay,” Nancy whispered. "Alright."
she inhaled again. she also raised her free hand and cupped Robin's neck. Robin's eyes widened. Nancy lowered her head slightly, just enough so that Robin couldn't meet her gaze.
“I received it three days ago,” she said. she bit her lower lip. “When I was training…when I admitted I was bisexual.” she took a deep breath before adding, "And it's because of how I feel about you."
Robin's brain stopped working. she completely turned white. she had no thoughts, no sounds, nothing. she just stared, completely unable to understand the words. But when they finally found her thoughts, she let out a sound, a small, needy, pained moan.
Nancy looked worried and worried, but Robin rushed the last few inches to press their lips together. Nancy gasped and Robin brought her other hand to Nancy's cheek, cupping her face and kissing her with desperation and dizzying pleasure.
she kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until Nancy separated them, her hands on Robin's chest and pushing her away.
“Robin?” Robin – what?
"Fuck, I love you," Robin admitted, taking Nancy's breath away. "So. so, so fucking much. I thought you liked someone else – you liked Steve and JOnathan, Nancy." she laughed helplessly, rubbing her nose and smiling, seeing Nancy start to match the expression . “Nancy, you’ve been that to me for months, darling.”
Nancy finally broke out into a full, happy smile and it was like sunshine breaking through the clouds. It was like having a brand new guitar or surviving this fucking upside down world. It was beautiful .
"I didn't think so," Nancy said, her fingers coming up to play lightly with Robin's hair. "I didn't even know you liked girls, Nance."
Robin laughed harshly. “Jesus lord, Nancy. I wasn't exactly being subtle. I clung to you like I couldn't get enough. Because I never had enough. I wanted to kiss you in the forest. It was only later that I realized that I also wanted to do a lot more shit with you.
“You can,” Nancy said. “The kisses and the gross stuff. Everything." she bit her lip, looking almost flirtatious. "And other stuff too, I hope."
Robin let out a small noise, like a piercing moan. she had to lean in and kiss Nancy again, still feeling a surge of disbelieving pleasure when Nancy kissed her back, tangled her fingers in her hair and moved a hand to her waist.
It felt so good, so good, but the position was really uncomfortable and her back was already hurting. she stepped back regretfully but couldn't let Nancy go completely. she sat back in her seat, but grabbed Nancy's hands, intertwining their fingers and smiling when Nancy leaned back.
And even though she looked brighter, happier and at ease, Robin still felt some worry and had to ask.
“Are you feeling okay now?”
“Yeah,” Nancy said, removing a hand to touch her chest. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. We'll have to ask El to watch me just in case, but I think it's okay.
Robin's stomach lurched, but it wasn't as pleasant. she used her free hand to pull her hair, bringing it back in front of her face while chewing on a strand.
“Robin?”
“They’re going to be okay, aren’t they?” she blurted. “If we do this?” They'll find out it was me.
“Good,” Nancy said, firm and fierce. Robin looked at her in surprise. Nancy smiled softly. she also reached out her hand and took Robin's hand again. "I'm not going to hide that it's you, Robie."
"Oh," she whispered, feeling a warmth wash over her, no doubt tinting her cheeks pink.
Nancy squeezed her hand, her expression so gentle, so… so loving. All she wanted to do was lean down and capture Nancy's lips in another kiss, and when she realized she could, Robin wasted no time climbing onto the seat, this time going all the way to get on Nancy's lap.
Nancy laughed and the sound echoed through the van better than any music she could ever play - and when Robin leaned in to kiss Nancy again, she let the pure happiness of the moment wash over her and carry her away.