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"Hey, uh, hyungs? Quick question."
Jimin stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen, where his boyfriends were currently fixing dinner for the rest of the group. The maknaes had decided to kidnap the youngest member and take Namjoon out to a fair and had just gotten back The weather had played into their hands wonderfully, shrouding the day in a gloomy, rain-soaked atmosphere. Oddly advantageous for them, the overcast skies shielded them from the sun's harsh rays, sparing sensitive skin from the usual itchy rashes they would get in sunny weather. This weather quirk had an added perk – it rendered the nearby park almost desolate, as most people opted to stay indoors, avoiding the inclement weather.
Their fair escapade had been a delightful affair, filled with the laughter and exuberance typical of such spontaneous outings. Revelling in the emptiness of the park, they'd enjoyed the freedom to explore without the usual throngs of people. As dusk approached, they had returned just in time to find the hyungs engrossed in the culinary artistry of homemade pizza-making. The savoury scent teased their senses, a testament to the hour-long dedication put into crafting this tantalizing dinner.
"Jimin-ah, you're back so soon? I thought you guys were headed out for a meal," Hoseok piped up, pausing his cheese sprinkling on a heart-shaped pizza. Seokjin and Yoongi, engrossed in slicing an array of veggies and meats for their pizzas, halted their actions upon the return of their younger companion. Jimin flashed a grin at the trio, though there was a hint of nerves in his demeanour. He didn't meet Hoseok's gaze directly, opting instead to laugh nervously and shrug his shoulders.
"Yeah, plans took a detour. Oh, and hey, speaking of twists, garlic only kills vampires that are less than a month into their changing, right?" Jimin chirped, voice too high-pitched.
In the midst of chopping an onion, Yoongi halted his swift motions as if frozen in time, the glint of the knife fading as his attention pivoted to Jimin. His eyes widened, his mouth slightly ajar, a mix of confusion and disbelief etched on his face, "Jimin. What did you do?"
Jimin instinctively raised both hands in a pacifying gesture, his movements cautious as he took slow steps backwards. Despite his nervousness, a timid smile played on his lips as he attempted to diffuse the tension, "Okay, hear me out, guys. So, I discovered something about garlic mayo today—it actually has real garlic in it. Crazy, right? And, well, Joon might have... um, had a little taste of it."
"You gave my baby garlic!?" Seokjin's voice pierced the air, its shrillness cutting through the kitchen. The sharp knife in his hand collided with the countertop as he shot up, his posture rigid. Fixing an incredulous gaze on Jimin, he awaited an explanation, concern etched across his face.
Jimin, sensing the impending storm, hastily shook his head in denial, attempting to quell the rising tension, "He's fine, hyung! I promise! Garlic isn't poisonous to him anymore; he's just a bit—well..."
Before Jimin could finish his reassurance, a sudden burst of laughter echoed through the room, accompanied by a conspicuous thump. Everyone's attention pivoted to the source, and in a matter of seconds, Namjoon burst into the kitchen with a wide grin, displaying the effects of the garlic-induced intoxication. While garlic wasn't exactly poisonous to the point of death to Namjoon any longer, it still held some poisonous qualities--pretty much the same ones that alcohol had.
Seokjin's shock turned into an audible gasp as he watched Namjoon, who, with vampiric speed, careened straight into the nearest wall. The room reverberated with a thud as Namjoon fell onto his backside, laughter escaping him uncontrollably. Before anyone could react, Namjoon picked himself up and accelerated toward the fridge with the same superhuman speed that he'd only recently developed, causing the entire appliance to shake upon impact.
"Joon-ah, baby, please stop running into things!" Jeongguk's plea reverberated through the kitchen, carrying a tone of both exhaustion and complete overwhelm. He and Taehyung hurried into the chaotic scene, their eyes widening as Namjoon continued his spirited antics, unbothered by the havoc he was causing. Taehyung watched in silent panic as their baby teetered on the edge, poised to speed right into the table.
An authoritative, deep voice cut through the commotion. "Oh, no, you won't," Yoongi declared, and in the blink of an eye, Namjoon found himself seated in Yoongi's lap. The vampire had utilized his own supernatural speed to effortlessly snatch the wayward fledgling and place him securely in his lap. Namjoon blinked in surprise, now facing a stern-looking Yoongi, his legs dangling on either side of the older member's hips.
"What do you think you're doing, Namjoon? You're hurting yourself and--" Yoongi began to express concern for Namjoon's safety, but his words were abruptly halted as Namjoon beamed at him with such brightness that it practically took over half his face. With a delightful giggle, Namjoon leaned closer, nuzzling his head into Yoongi's neck.
"Yoon hyuuuung," Namjoon sing-songed, his voice decidedly shaky and breathy—whether from the garlic-induced intoxication or the recent collisions with walls remained open to interpretation. Instantly, Yoongi's stern demeanour softened, his arms winding around the vampire as he pressed a gentle kiss against his head. Namjoon giggled again, wiggling happily in Yoongi's embrace, inhaling deeply with his nose nestled into Yoongi's neck.
A fleeting silence descended upon the room as every gaze remained fixated on Namjoon, a collective unspoken agreement ensuring he wouldn't spring up and resume his erratic encounters with the furniture. Yet, nestled contentedly in Yoongi's lap, his nose affectionately pressed against the vampire's jugular, Namjoon appeared quite content, his earlier frenzied movements replaced by a strange tranquillity.
Hoseok's eyes swept over the trio of youngest members, his expression a mosaic of confusion and incredulity, "How much garlic did he have?! And why is he running into walls?!"
Taehyung, poised to provide an explanation, found himself preempted by Namjoon's sudden enthusiasm. The fledgling perked up, swivelling his head to face Hoseok, a glint of excitement in his eyes, "Hyung, did you see that? Did you? I'm—I'm so speedy! I'm like Sonic the Hedgehog. Or Speedy Gonzales, the fastest mouse in all of Mexico! Well, except I'm not an anthropomorphic cartoon animal. I think. Hey, what animals do you guys think I would be, if I were one? I'm leaning towards koala or ladybug. Oh, and Taetae hyung? He'd totally be a horse, 'cause he's got a huge horseco-"
"Okay! Thank you, my love. That would be all that we need to hear from you," Seokjin interjected swiftly, his index fingers pressing against the sides of his forehead as he took a measured inhale, attempting to regain some semblance of composure and make sense of the peculiar spectacle that had just unfolded.
As Seokjin tried to process the chaotic scene, Taehyung nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, a smug grin playing on his lips. He ambled over to Namjoon, his steps filled with an air of playful mischief, and proceeded to ruffle the inebriated fledgling's hair, "I mean, personally, I would've been all ears for whatever philosophical musings he had in store, but alas..."
Meanwhile, Jeongguk observed their intoxicated fledgling with a mix of furrowed brows and a slightly agape mouth. A perplexed expression dominated his features as he voiced the question on everyone's minds, "How does he manage to use smart words like 'anthropomorphic' with such preciseness while drunk out of his fucking mind, and yet, simultaneously play a game of bumper cars with our fridge?! He's like the weirdest blend of the smartest drunk philosopher and the clumsiest goofball I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing."
"Oh, I like lots o' smart words!" Namjoon babbled, his words slurred, and he wiggled around in Yoongi's lap, seemingly attempting a great escape to resume his earlier escapades of careening into walls, "Like 'Ubiquitous,' which means 'present everywhere.' So, like, uh, air is ubiquitous. Or 'Mellifluous,' which means you like something so much that it's hard to explain what. Like- Like my love for you guys is mellifluous."
"That's..." Yoongi had to intervene, preventing one of Namjoon's hands from colliding with his own nose, "That's really cute, Joon-ah. We love you too, darling."
"Mhm," Namjoon nodded wisely, his intoxicated expression oddly endearing, "You know what- what else I love mellifluously? Dick-"
"Joon, please!" Jimin hastily clasped his hands over his head, aghast at the sudden turn of Namjoon's discourse. Their usually shy and reserved fledgling apparently underwent a transformation into an unabashedly forthright personality when intoxicated. Namjoon, however, blinked up at Jimin with confusion, his lips forming a slight frown.
"Do you no' like Dickcissels? I think they're cute. I love all kinds o' birds, but they are my favourite kind, I- I love their yellow chests, 's so cute," Namjoon replied, nodding to himself as he slurred his answer, blissfully unaware of the unintentional shift in the conversation.
"Oh... Oh, of course, yeah, they're very pretty birds I'm sure," Jimin, wearied by the unexpected turn of events, let out a prolonged sigh as he settled onto the table, trying to make sense of the situation.
Meanwhile, Yoongi maintained a steely gaze fixed on the trio of younger members, his grip firm around Namjoon, who was squirming in a futile attempt to break free, "Why on earth would you give him garlic mayo? It's right there in the name! We're vampires, for heaven's sake. You three should know that garlic affects fledglings!"
Taehyung and Jeongguk leaned against each other, visibly drained from wrangling with an inebriated Namjoon all afternoon. Jeongguk let out a plaintive whine and blinked up at Yoongi, "Hyung, we thought there wouldn't be actual garlic in the mayo! And I was under the impression he was old enough to handle garlic without it being harmful. Clearly, I was mistaken."
Namjoon's happy giggle echoed through the room, his futile attempts to escape Yoongi's firm hold momentarily halted as he turned his neck to gaze at Jeongguk, "Y-Yeah! Garlic affec's fledglings up 'til their third year of being transformed. I'm barely eight months into mine, hyung."
A renewed sense of astonishment settled over the group, leaving them momentarily speechless. Jeongguk, in particular, stared at Namjoon as if the very fabric of his existence had been shattered, "Joon-ah. My baby. My heart. Love of my life. Why—in all seven layers of hell—would you eat garlic if you know exactly that it will have this effect on you?"
Namjoon's blissful expression remained, seemingly undisturbed by the chaos he had unwittingly unleashed. "Well," he began, still grinning, "I read this article 'bout the health be'efits of garlic, and it- it said—"
"Health benefits?" Jeongguk interjected, disbelief etched across his face, "Baby, you're a vampire! You don't need health benefits. You need to avoid garlic like it's the plague!"
Namjoon's pout deepened, his eyes blinking sluggishly as he tried to convey his side of the story, "Bu' Jinnie hyung always says I should—I should always eat wha' my hyungs give me! And you guys gave it to me!"
Before Jeongguk could even utter a word, Seokjin intervened, his tone laced with palpable exasperation, "I mean your wise hyungs, petal. Yoongi, Hoseok, and me. Never the maknaes."
"Hey!" Jimin's protest cut through the air, his features etched with a frown as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, determined to defend the intelligence of the younger members, "We're smart too!"
Hoseok, always ready for a playful exchange, chimed in with a teasing tone, "You did give our fledgling garlic, Jimin-ah." A slight smile played at the corner of his mouth, an unspoken acknowledgement of the undeniable truth behind his statement.
"Well— Well..." Jimin's initial defiance deflated, and he sighed, his arms dropping to his sides in defeat. His gaze shifted towards Namjoon, who was still happily giggling in Yoongi's lap, "We did do that. Can't argue with that one."
Yoongi, balancing a mix of affection and mild exasperation, finally joined the conversation with a small smirk, "Let's just stick to blood and regular human food, shall we? We'll leave the garlic for other recipes."
Taehyung, always eager to lighten the mood, chimed in with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "But what if we create a garlic-free garlic mayo? A revolutionary invention, right?"
Hoseok chuckled heartily, "A mayo without the 'garlic' would just be... well, normal mayo, my love."
Jimin, shaking his head at Taehyung's antics, couldn't help but sigh, "This is exactly why we're not part of the wise hyungs, Tae. Your innovative, unconventional ideas might need a bit more refining."
Seokjin, with a twinkle in his eye, teased Taehyung further, "Innovation is good, Tae-ah, but let's save it for areas where garlic isn't involved. We don't want to risk another adventurous escapade."
Taehyung playfully pouted, "You guys are no fun. I was envisioning a whole line of unconventional condiments. Garlic-free garlic mayo, onionless onion rings—the possibilities are endless!"
Namjoon, still comfortably nestled in Yoongi's lap, couldn't help but giggle at Taehyung's enthusiasm, "Hyungie, you're a- a culinary genius 'n the making. Who knows, maybe someday you'll revol-revolutionize the entire food industry." His words, though a bit slurred, carried genuine admiration for Taehyung's inventive spirit.
Taehyung bent down with gentle affection and pressed a tender kiss against the intoxicated fledgling's head, punctuating the gesture with exaggerated lip-smacking, "Thank you, doll. You're my one true supporter. I mellifluously love you or whatever your smart word was."
Namjoon's giggles bubbled with happiness as he gazed up at Taehyung, his eyes filled with the unmistakable warmth of affection, "I mellifluously love you- you too, hyungie," he chirped, his intoxicated state not diminishing the sincerity in his words.
With a contented exhale, Namjoon ceased his futile attempts to wriggle free from Yoongi's hold and nestled back into the comfort of the older vampire's arms. A brief silence settled over the room, each member watching the cherished fledgling as he found solace in Yoongi's embrace.
Then, as if struck by an overwhelming surge of admiration and gratitude, Namjoon's smile widened, radiating pure affection as he gazed up at the others. In that moment, amidst the chaos and the unexpected turn of events, there was an undeniable sense of unity and love that enveloped them all. He opened his mouth, eyes sparkling with love as he looked at them.
"I also- also mellifluously love dicks."
"Oh my fucking god, Namjoon."