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See, Alex might be five, but he knows things.
He knows where June hides her expensive chocolates. He knows kicking the ball around is his favourite thing to do, especially when his dad joins him. He knows his mom is the best cook in the world. He knows other kids just won't talk to him, no matter how hard he tries. He knows kids his age usually have loads of friends, but he doesn't have a single one.
That is is exactly why he hates going to school. It's Monday again. He knows he loathes Mondays.
Alex is pouting on his bed, his arms crossed, eyebrows scrunched. His mom is standing at the doorway, her disapproving stare on Alex.
"C'mon, sugar," she says. "Take a shower, or you're going to be late."
"No," Alex says petulantly, a frown etched on his face.
"Alex," Ellen sighs. "I don't have time for this. It's time for school."
"No!" Alex shouts, his lower lip pushing out harder. "No, no, no, no, no, no-"
"Stop it!" June shouts from across the hall. "You're so annoying. I'll kill you if I'm late because of you, Alex!"
He looks at his mom, eyes blazing. "Mom! I don't wanna go."
"Okay, how about this? I'll let you have ice cream for dinner if you get out of bed right now, and go take a shower. You can't be late again, sugar."
Alex looks at his bed, contemplating his options. Get shouted at and then be forced to go to school anyway. Or he could shut up and have ice-cream. Well, might as well.
"Fine," he says, dramatically dragging his body out of his bed. "I want chocolate and vanilla."
Ellen agrees. So, off he goes.
"Bug," Alex whines as June drops him off at the gate. "I really, really don't wanna go."
"Alex, we've been over this," June titters, gently shoving Alex's shoulder. "Go inside. I still need to make it to my school on time. I'll come pick you up, okay?"
"'Kay. See you," Alex says, eyes on the floor.
June ruffles his head, and shouts out a cheery, "Love you!" as she leaves.
He walks into his class and immediately perks up when he sees a blond boy sitting next to his desk. That desk has always been empty, and Alex is over the moon at the prospect of making a new friend. He's never seen this boy around before, and his chest lights up at the thought of being alone together.
"Hi," he says, dropping down on his chair, eyes tracking every movement that the blond boy makes. He thrusts his hand towards him, a grin on his face. His mom always said it made him look charming. Alex needs all the charm he can muster.
"I'm Alex, and we're going to be best friends!" he declares.
Alex is six, and he knows things.
He knows June has started getting irritable for no reason at all. He knows his mom is drowning in work and she doesn't have any time for him. He knows his dad doesn't really get along with his mom anymore, but they don't fight in front of him and June. He knows it makes his chest feel weird.
He also knows Henry is his best friend.
They're at the park, clothes dirty from the sand they were rolling in. Henry had dragged Alex out of the house, gushing about the new sand pit they just had to play in, and who was Alex to say 'no' to his best friend?
"Hey," Alex says softly, nudging Henry's shoulder.
"What?"
"You know, you really are my best friend," Alex smiles, rolling on his side to look at Henry.
"You're my best friend, too," Henry grins like it's the easiest thing to be.
"Oh!" Alex jumps up, running a hand through his hair. "We should get married!"
"What?" Henry asks, confused.
"We're best friends! I like you. You like me. Don't people who like each other get married?" Alex asks, a grin on his face. "We totally should get married!"
"Fine, but only if you read that book I've been talking about," Henry proposes with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"Deal!"
Alex shoves his hand in his pocket, digging for the rubber bands he knew he'd put in there earlier instead of throwing them away.
"Aha!" he shouts, opening his palm to show Henry two elastic bands. "Which colour do you like the most?"
"Red," Henry says, reaching out to grab a hold of it. Before he can, Alex slaps his hand away, ignoring Henry's cry of indignation.
"Dummy, I'll put it on you. You grab the blue one and put it on me!"
Henry rolls his eyes, but picks up the blue rubber band and he clumsily slides it on Alex's ring finger. He lets Alex slide on the red rubber band and winces in pain as it snaps against his skin.
"We're married! I've never married anyone before!" Alex shouts, and hugs Henry until he can't breathe.
"June!" Alex calls out as he runs into his house, tripping over his own feet. "June! June! June! June!"
"In the kitchen!"
"June, I got married!" Alex cries as soon as he sees his sister, shoving his hand in her face.
"Alex, slow down," June laughs, leaning back so she can get a good look at Alex's hand.
"I got married, June!"
"Alex, you're six. Who on Earth did you get married to?" June asks, a fond grin on her face.
"Henry! Henry and I got married!" Alex says, jumping with restless energy. "We were in the park and we were playing and I looked over at him, and I asked him. He said he would, but only if I read that book he's always talking about, so I guess I'll have to read it now, but I got married, June! I have a best friend who likes me!"
There's a soft smile on June's face as she listens to Alex ramble, her chest feeling awfully warm. Her Alex, who had trouble making a single friend until last year. Her Alex, who has a best friend now. A best friend who likes him, just as he is. She's happy for him. He deserves it. She knows he'd been blaming himself for having trouble making friends, and seeing him so happy is makes her happy.
"Yes, you do. That's great, Little Bit," she laughs, giving him a squeeze. "We should throw y'all a party!"
Alex feels his eyes widen, a laugh bubbling up in his throat.
"Yes! I love parties! I bet Henry does, too. We can call him and his mom and his dad and Bea and Philip, and oh my God, Bug, it will be awesome! Can we get cake? We have to get cake! Please? Please? Please?"
June chuckles, subtly wiping a tear away. "Yes, of course we can. Hey, I really am happy Henry's your best friend."
"Me too! He's the bestest friend in the world!"
Alex is thirteen, and he knows things.
He knows June has a new friend she adores. He knows his mom can't stand his dad. He knows his dad doesn't like his mom either. He knows they have no trouble picking fights with each other, not caring who can hear them. He knows their marriage is not going to last.
He knows Henry is going to be there for him, no matter what happens.
He doesn't know if Henry will be mad at him if he just shows up at his house at eleven at night.
His parents have been going at it for while now, and if he has to hear another second of them fighting, he's going to lose it.
"Bug," he whispers from where he's lying down next to her. "Do you think Henry will be angry if I go over right now?"
June shifts so that she can look at him clearly, her expression concerned.
"No," she says slowly. "I don't think so. That boy adores you, Alex."
"I guess so," he mumbles, still doubting if he should bike over.
"Hey," June says gently, poking his chest. "I'm sure he won't mind. Y'all are already married, don't you remember?"
Just like that, all of his doubts melt away. A smile takes over his face, his chest warm. Of course Henry wouldn't mind. What was he thinking?
"Thanks, Bug," Alex says as he gets out of June's bed to put on some shoes.
"Call me when you get there, okay?"
"Will do!"
Alex knocks on Henry's door, lips pressed in a thin line. He's sure Catherine and Arthur won't mind him being there, but he's still on edge from all the shouting. He hastily parks his cycle on Henry's lawn, rocking back and forth on his heels.
"Hey," Arthur says softly, moving aside to let Alex in. "Everything okay, kiddo?"
"My parents... They're fighting again. I was hoping I could talk to Henry?" Alex asks hesitantly, raising his eyes from the floor to look at Arthur.
"Of course, my boy. You know you're always welcome here. Any time. I mean it. I'm here if you want to talk," Arthur smiles, reaching out to squeeze Alex's shoulder. "Henry's up in his room. I'll call June, okay?"
Alex nods, thanking Henry's dad with a shaky smile. He takes two stairs at a time and barges into Henry's room, not bothering to knock. Henry's lying on his back in the dark, his eyes closed, earphones shoved in his ears. There's a small smile on his face and Alex feels his breath stutter. He's gorgeous.
Shaking his head, Alex basically launches himself on Henry, landing on top of him, grinning when Henry lets out an oof.
"Alex Claremont-Diaz! Some warning would've been nice!"
"Aw, where's the fun in that, sweetheart?" Alex teases, eyes fixed on the blush that is slowly making its way over Henry's cheeks.
"You're going to kill me one day," Henry mutters, shifting so Alex can lay on him comfortably.
"Nah," Alex says casually, a grin on his face. "I don't want to be a widower."
"You're a menace," Henry says, his face bright red.
"Your menace, though," Alex says as he lays his head on Henry's chest, wrapping his arms around his best friend.
They lay in silence for a while. Henry pulls the duvet over them when Alex starts shivering slightly, and he burrows closer to Henry's warmth. It's all really nice.
"Is everything okay, Alex?" Henry whispers, running a hand through Alex's hair.
"Mom and dad were at it again, and I couldn't take it anymore, Hen. I just couldn't. I had to get out of there."
"I'm glad you came to me," Henry says softly, tucking Alex's head under his chin. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm here for you, you know that, right?"
"Yeah. I just. I just want to forget about it for now," Alex confesses, eyes closed.
He hears Henry hum and Alex feels his chest burst open with love when Henry suggests playing Fifa till they can't keep their eyes open.
Alex is fifteen, and he knows things.
He knows June is dating a girl she adores. He knows the girl adores his sister just as much. He knows his parents should get a divorce.
He knows he never wants to be away from Henry. He knows he wants to spend every waking moment with his best friend, and that he might be in love with him.
They're in the library, working on a project, and the sunlight rays have bathed Henry's face in that soft golden glow and Alex thinks he might be drooling a little. He wipes his chin, just in case. He's the most beautiful man Alex has ever seen.
His husband, he thinks with a hysterical laugh. They're already married.
God, he wishes.
"What?" Henry asks, a soft grin playing on his face.
"What?" Alex repeats, smiling.
"You're staring."
"You're beautiful," Alex says honestly, biting his lip.
He sees a gorgeous blush rise up on Henry's face and he wants to press his lips to it. He wants to wrap his arms around him and hold him to his chest. He wants to press his lips against Henry's, kissing him until their lips are numb. God, he wants.
"Stop it," Henry says with a bashful grin on his face.
"Just the truth, sweetheart," Alex says, rocking back on his chair, a cocky grin on his face.
"Anyway," Henry mutters forcefully, his face flushed. "Are you done with your part? I need to make the PowerPoint for the presentation on Friday."
"Henry, you wound me. It's like you don't even know me," Alex mock gasps, placing a hand on his heart. "It's me who will make the PowerPoint. Obviously."
Henry shakes his head, but there's a fond grin on his face. Alex considers it to be a win.
"What did he say?" Alex asks, shoving Henry until his back meets the wall.
"Nothing," Henry murmurs, eyes darting around, not looking at Alex's face.
"Henry, the fuck did Miguel say to you?" Alex asks again, pushing his face closer to Henry's.
"Let it go," Henry says lowly, eyes fixed somewhere above Alex's shoulder.
"No. Look at me," Alex demands, his jaw clenched.
Henry doesn't.
"I said. Look. At. Me," Alex grabs Henry's face with a hand, forcing their eyes to meet.
Henry's eyes are wide, filled with tears. His brows are pinched, his mouth pressed together so that not a single sound escapes his mouth.
"Sweetheart, what did that motherfucker say to you?" Alex tries again, tightening his grip as Henry struggles to get free.
He rests their foreheads together and he feels all the fight drain out from Henry. He looks at Alex, a tear escaping his eye. Alex moves his hand to cup Henry's cheeks, softly tracing his cheekbones.
"I... He... He called me a fa-"
"Don't. Don't finish that sentence. You're not," Alex cuts him off, eyes blazing. "I'll fucking kill him. I swear to God, Henry. I'm going to kill him."
"Alex, let it go," Henry mutters tiredly, closing his eyes.
"No," Alex basically shouts, his breaths coming out in pants. "I'm not just going to just let it go. Nobody gets to disrespect you like that. Nobody gets to talk to you like that. Nobody gets to treat you like that, sweetheart. Not when I'm around."
"He's not worth it, Alex."
"No, but you are. I told you, nobody gets to treat you like scum when I'm around. He's going to fucking regret ever opening his damn mouth," Alex vows.
"Plus, we're already married, remember? Nobody gets to mess with my husband," Alex smiles, and it pulls a laugh from Henry, just like he hoped it would.
When the boy shows up with a broken nose, bruised cheeks and a bloody lip the next day, nobody says a word, despite everyone knowing it was Alex who did it.
Alex is sixteen, and he knows things.
He knows he wants to be a lawyer. He knows Henry is a year older, which means he'll have to spend his senior year alone. He knows he's going to miss Henry like a lost limb. He knows he still has a couple of years until Henry has to leave, but he still feels devastated.
He knows Henry is into boys. He knows seeing Henry flirt with other people makes him want to pull his hair out.
He knows seeing other people believe that they know Henry better than him fills him up with incredible rage, and sometimes, he doesn't know what to do with it.
They're hanging out in Henry's room, but Pez is here, too. Pez, who thinks he's Henry's best friend. Like he knew Henry needs the lights on when he goes to sleep because he's scared of the dark. Like he knew how to hold Henry on his bad days. Like he knew how brushing that place just behind Henry's ear makes him relax instantly. Pez didn't fucking know Henry like Alex does, dammit.
"Do you remember that party?" Pez laughs. "We need to get you some vodka again."
"Absolutely not," Henry frowns.
"Again?" Alex asks. He didn't even know Henry'd gotten drunk.
"Yesterday night. There was a party. Henry said you were busy."
He was. Henry'd started looking at colleges. Alex was looking at his college prospects, wanting to be closer to Henry as soon as possible. He'd told Henry he'd been working on his schoolwork.
"I was," Alex mutters, eyes on Henry's sheets.
Henry reaches out a hand and places it on his knee, giving him a quick squeeze. When Alex doesn't look up, Henry shifts closer, and drops a kiss on Alex's temple.
"I can't believe I missed the first time you got wasted. It's not fucking fair," Alex whines, hiding his face in the crook of Henry's neck.
"Oh, darling. Henry didn't just get wasted, he was gone!" Pez cackles, clapping his hands.
Alex frowns. He should've been there to see it. Not hear it from a secondhand source. He hates this. Henry wraps an arm around his shoulder as he senses Alex's displeasure, and he pulls him close.
"Sorry, love. I would've asked you to come along, but I know how you get when you concentrate on your schoolwork, and I didn't want to get in the way of that," Henry says apologetically, pressing a kiss on Alex's curls.
"Fine. Tell me more," Alex grumbles, facing Pez.
"Vodka makes Henry... uninhibited. Flamboyant. Hor-"
"Alright!" Henry cuts Pez off, hiding his face with the hand that's not wrapped around Alex's shoulder.
Alex feels his stomach drop. Horny, that's what Pez was going to say, wasn't it? Did he kiss anyone? Make out with them? Sleep with them? Fuck, he was going to be sick.
Alex nudges Henry's chest, the question clear on his face. Henry lowers his head, his lips brushing against Alex's ear.
"No, nothing happened," Henry confesses. "Anyway, we're already married, don't you remember?"
The smile that spreads over Alex's face has no business being that obvious.
Alex is eighteen, and he still knows a lot of things.
He knows Henry has been away for a while. He knows NYU is the perfect choice for him as well. He knows he's going to see Henry soon. He knows they're going to be living together in three months. Alex knows he's so in love he could die.
What he didn't know was how it was possible to miss someone this much, even if they talk every second of the day. He didn't know it was possible to be so in love with a person.
He didn't know Henry was coming back for the break, just so he could spend the summer with Alex. He didn't know Henry was going to take Alex back with him, their boxes stacked in their car.
That's why it is such a surprise when he walks in his bedroom and sees Henry lying in his bed, reading a book.
"Baby!" Alex exclaims, sprinting towards the bed to scramble his way into Henry's lap, straddling him. "You're here! How are you here?"
He's never called Henry 'baby,' but the second he sees Henry's visceral reaction to it, he knows he's never going to call him by his name. Henry's eyes glaze over, his cheeks rosy, a small gasp escaping from his pretty lips.
Alex wraps his arms around Henry's shoulder, shoving his face in the crook of his neck. If anyone asks, no he doesn't cry. Henry's hands settle around his waist, pulling him closer. Alex drops a kiss on Henry's collarbone, biting him slightly. He's overwhelmed. He feels Henry chuckle as he ruffles Alex's hair.
"I missed you, too," Henry teases, running his hand through Alex's hair.
"Shut up. Shut all the way up," Alex scowls, tightening his hold. "I'm so glad you're here, baby."
"Me too. I missed you," Henry says softly.
"You're taking me with you, right?"
"Of course, love. Three months."
"Three months and you're stuck with me forever," Alex teases.
"You know, I wouldn't have it any other way. We're already married, after all," Henry laughs.
Alex is twenty-one, and he knows things.
He knows he's been in love with Henry for so long that it feels like it's a part of him. He knows he can never imagine spending his life with anyone else. He knows Henry's it for him.
They've been living together for three years now, and it's all so domestic that Alex wants to go down on his knee and ask Henry to marry him for real. He doesn't care that they're too young-- he's never been so sure of someone. Forget the fact that they aren't even dating. Alex is just Henry's best friend, and it's killing him. He knows it's time to do something about it.
They're at the cafe they frequent, sitting at their usual booth. Their coursework is spread over their table, cups of coffees and teas scattered around. Alex spoons the last bit of their chocolate cake, feeding it to Henry without looking up. He can't afford to get distracted by Henry's lips wrapped around the spoon, his mouth in that irresistible pout.
"Hey," Henry whispers to get his attention, but not wanting to startle him. "I'll be right back. Do you need anything?"
"Water?" Alex asks, just to see that satisfied smile on Henry's face. He feels himself grin when Henry does just that.
"I'm rubbing off on you," Henry says proudly.
"Yeah, yeah. You can rub off on me whenever you want, baby," Alex smirks.
"Uh-I- bathroom!" Henry stutters, blushing down to his toes as he spins around to leave.
Alex laughs, a grin on his face.
It's been ten minutes, but Henry isn't back. Alex looks up from his essay, his eyes searching for his best friend. He spots him by the collection point, talking to a man with brown curls. Alex feels his heart clench. They're standing too close for strangers, laughing. The man leans closer, reaching out to wrap a hand around Henry's arm. Alex is going to throw up.
He feels his mood sour, a frown on his face. He clenches his teeth as he looks at them flirting, a bitter feeling in his mouth.
He looks away, angry tears filling his eyes. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in. He focuses back on the essay, willing his brain to just. Stop.
"Hey," Henry says as he slides back in the booth, sliding a bottle of water towards Alex. There're a couple of slices of tres leches cake on a plate as well. Alex feels his heart stutter, but he doesn't look up from his screen.
"Have fun?"
"What?" Henry asks, his voice confused.
Alex tightens his jaw, his fists clenching.
"You new... friend. Have fun?"
He keeps his eyes on the cursor that's blinking on his screen, and it almost feels mocking.
"Alex, what are you even talking about?" Henry's voice is bewildered.
"Nothing. It doesn't matter," Alex mutters, his brows furrowed.
"No, it does. Look at me, Alex."
"I'm busy."
"Alex."
"What?" Alex snaps as he lifts his eyes to glare at Henry.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. You can go back to flirting with him. I don't fucking care," Alex says, looking back at his screen.
"Are you annoyed because some man just talked to me?" Henry asks incredulously.
"Don't. You're making me feel fucking stupid. He was flirting, Henry."
"Alex-"
"He was leaning into you and he touched your arm! Tell me how that wasn't flirting!" Alex whispers hotly as he leans across the table, his fists still clenched.
"So, you didn't see me brushing off his touch, yes? You didn't see me telling him I wasn't interested?"
"What?" Alex asks, his voice quiet.
"Alex," Henry says patiently, his eyes soft. "I'm not interested in anyone else, love. I have you, don't I?"
"Yeah," Alex agrees gently. "Yeah, you do."
Alex is twenty-two, and he knows a lot of things.
He knows he can't hold it in anymore. He knows he needs to tell Henry he's in love with him.
It's seven in the morning, and Alex'd woken up because he really needed to pee. He wakes up with Henry's hair in his mouth, his head pillowed on Alex's bare chest. He has an arm flung over Alex's torso, their legs tangled together. The morning light makes Henry's skin glow, his hair shining like spun gold. Alex sees the moles scattered along the bare expense of Henry's back, and he lifts his finger to trace constellations on his skin. Fuck, he wants to wake up to this every day.
He carefully detangles himself from Henry to take a leak, and he brushes his teeth. He pads into the kitchen to make them breakfast, but in a very unlike-Alex manner, he abandons his coffee so that he can slide back into bed with Henry.
He gingerly adjusts Henry so that his head is resting on Alex's chest again. He pulls Henry closer, smiling softly as Henry mumbles something, snuggling closer. He wraps the duvet around them, tangling their legs together. He drops a kiss on Henry's hair, burying his nose in it. He closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around Henry tightly.
When he wakes up again, they're in the same position. Henry's face is hidden in the crook of Alex's neck, his lips brushing the skin. He's still asleep, soft snores escaping his lips. Alex shivers as he feels the soft exhales.
He lies there, a hand in Henry's hair as he waits for him to wake up. A few minutes later, he hears soft snuffles as Henry stretches, eyebrows scrunched.
"Good morning, baby," Alex whispers, resting their foreheads together.
"Morning," Henry mumbles, eyes closed.
"Hey," Alex murmurs, nudging their noses together. "Wake up. 'M hungry."
Henry whines, moving his face back into the crook of Alex's neck. Alex laughs, tugging at Henry's hair to rest their foreheads together again.
"Henry," He says. "Wake up!"
Henry blinks his eyes open, a slight frown on his face, and Alex? Alex can't take it anymore.
"Baby," he says, his heart threatening to burst open. "Can I please kiss you?"
His breath catches as Henry stares at him, his hand drawing idle patterns on Alex's waist. Then, he sees a smile grow on Henry's face, his eyes softening.
"Of course you can," Henry murmurs.
The grins on their faces are so huge that kissing is a impossible. Alex laughs as Henry pulls away, a hand wrapped around the back of Henry's neck. After a second, he pulls Henry back in, titling his face so that their lips slot together. Alex feels his breath catch as Henry swipes his tongue over Alex's bottom lip. He tangles their tongues together, licking into Henry's mouth, wanting to memorise every ridge. He swallows every noise Henry makes, turning so that his body covers Henry's to kiss him deeper.
"Fuck," Alex cries as he pulls away. "Fuck, I've wanted to do that for years, baby."
"Why didn't you?"
"I don't know. I didn't want to risk our friendship, sweetheart," Alex confesses.
"Love," Henry laughs. "What friendship? We're already married."
Alex is twenty-five, and he knows everything.
He knows there isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't want to see Henry smile. He knows he'd do anything to make his boyfriend happy. He knows he's going to marry that man. For real. When you know, you know. You know? There's a ring in his sock drawer, a couple of blue and red elastic bands wrapped around the box. Just for old time's sake.
They're sitting on the rooftop of their apartment complex, a bottle of wine clutched in Alex's hand. They're not drunk, but everything is pleasant, and fuck, Alex could die right now and be the happiest man on the planet.
"Hey. You know I love you, right?" Alex says.
"Of course, darling. I love you, too," Henry says, dropping a causal kiss on Alex's temple.
"You know, we always say we're already married, but I do really want that with you. With a real ring, like you deserve. I can't wait to marry you," Alex confesses.
"Well, you could've waited for a bit to say that," Henry titters, mock annoyed.
He stands up, running a nervous hand through his hair. Then, looking at Alex, he slowly lowers himself down on a knee, his hands trembling.
"I love you," Henry says. "I could give you a big speech. I will work that in in our vows if you agree, but-"
Henry holds up a hand when Alex opens his mouth to say 'of course I'll say yes, baby. Don't be a fucking idiot'. Instead he shuts up.
"As I was saying," Henry says with a pointed glare at Alex. "We're best friends. I like you. You like me. Don't people who like each other get married? We totally should get married."
An echo of Alex's words when he'd "proposed". God, they'd been so young. Alex hadn't even known the magnitude of what he'd been asking. Looking back, he wouldn't change that decision for the world. It was the best thing he'd done.
With shaky hands, Henry pulls out the ring from the box, looking at Alex with tearful eyes that he adores so much. Asks, "Alex, darling, will you marry me?"
Alex lets out a watery laugh, swiping an arm across his face to get rid of the rapidly falling tears. He kneels down to cup Henry's face and brushes his thumbs across his cheekbones softly.
"Baby. Don't you remember?" Alex whispers, leaning their foreheads together. "We're already married."