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“Not to question your judgment, but is an art thief really a Justice League level threat?” Hal lifted an eyebrow as he walked — well, floated — along the hallway beside her. “Like, I get it, he’s wanted internationally. That still sounds more like ordinary law enforcement stuff.”
“Ordinarily, I would agree with you.” Diana sighed, adjusting her bracers in a restless gesture. “However, when said internationally wanted art thief — who has never been arrested, for the record, and seems to think state of the art security systems are barely obstacles — is sniffing around an exhibition with a very powerful magical artifact? One that fits his profile? I’m not going to stand aside and wait.”
That did make sense. However, it just raised more questions. “And why would a powerful magical artifact be displayed at a public museum?”
“Well, obviously its magical status is not widely known, being merely a matter of folklore and some murmurs within the wider magical community. We can’t exactly confiscate it without cause, and letting the magical properties become a matter of public record seems… unadvised.”
“And since neither of those is an option, it’s best to just keep an eye on it from a distance.” Hal nodded. He could see the logic in that, even if he didn’t necessarily like it. “So, what? He was casing the place?”
“That is certainly what it looks like. It’s the why and for whom that we’re still unclear on.” She came to a stop in front of the door to the interview room. More like interrogation, but Hal wasn’t about to point that out. “I was hoping you could help with that.”
“Always happy to help. Still, not sure how much my presence can do.” Sure, he had plenty of experience dealing with various suspects and criminals thanks to his work with the Lantern Corps, but this was still outside his wheelhouse.
“Just being another pair of eyes is helpful enough. Also, Superman has been watching him so far, but there’s always a chance that he has to leave suddenly, and protocol requires any actual questioning should have at least two League members present.”
“And Spooky’s busy in Gotham, I’m guessing.” She didn’t respond, but the silence itself spoke volumes. “I’m not offended, by the way. He’s everyone’s first choice for this sort of thing.”
“Indeed. His experience and insight is unparalleled. I did send him a message to summon him here as soon as he can, but that could take a while.” She finally pushed open the door, walking into the room. Hal followed her, eyes flicking over to Superman standing by the wall before focusing on their suspect.
The young man was looking remarkably relaxed for someone currently held in the Watchtower by some of the greatest heroes in the world. He was pale with black hair and blue eyes, no older than his early twenties if even that. In other circumstances his appearance would have been utterly unremarkable, wearing a hoodie and jeans, leaning back in the chair he was seated in. His eyes were sharp and steely, though, utterly fearless as he took them in.”
“Alvin Draper.” Diana pulled out a seat on the other side of the table separating them from the man, Alvin Draper apparently, and sat down. Hal did the same, happy to let Diana take the lead here. “We have a few questions for you.”
“Wonder Woman. Do you often make extrajudicial arrests?” The young man gave them a wry look, arms crossed over his chest. “Abductions, really, considering we’re out of US jurisdiction entirely. I know Justice League is given a lot of leeway, but this seems a bit far.”
“I assure you we are perfectly within our rights to address threats that require our attention.” Diana frowned, her arms crossed over her chest.
“And I am a Justice League level threat now? Darn, I guess my ray gun got lost in the mail.” Hal had to admit, the kid had guts. Most mere humans would have quivered under the gaze of Wonder Woman.
“That is what we are investigating here.” Diana pursed her lips. “What were you doing at the Metropolis Museum of History?”
“Looking at the exhibits, obviously.” Draper lifted his eyebrows. “If that’s a crime now, I think you missed a few co-conspirators. It was a pretty busy day, pretty sure I wasn’t the only one there.”
Hal scoffed. “And yet, you were the only internationally wanted art thief sniffing around a new exhibit.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about. And even if I were an art thief — which I am not, for the record — surely I would be more interested in an art museum of some sort?”
“Oh, no. You’re not going to be dodging this by semantics.” Hal pointed an accusing finger at him.
“Is this really the best use of your time? Three big-name Leaguers all cornering one man over something that didn’t even happen? There’s got to be some wildfires or kittens in a tree you could be dealing with.”
“The only one making this a waste of time is you.” Diana gave him her stern gaze, and Hal was surprised to see Draper was unaffected. Diana’s stern look was second only to Batman’s.
“Pretty sure that’s on you, refusing to take my answer. I’m not going to make up some story just because you’re not satisfied with my boring life.”
“Well, if you really were just looking at the stuff all innocently, you shouldn’t have any problem with confirming that with the Lasso of Truth.” It was a somewhat risky move, but not too much. It was theoretically possible to slip between the gaps of questions even with the lasso, but it would require Batman-level evasiveness and a much less inexperienced questioner than Diana.
“I might, if I trusted you to only ask precise, relevant questions. As it is, I really don’t like the idea of letting you remove all my inhibitions regarding my personal privacy.” As Diana blinked in surprise, he snorted. “What, I’m just supposed to take your word for your good intentions? After you abducted and imprisoned me without due process, access to legal representation, or indeed any sign of wrong-doing aside from the vague possibility that I might be planning something based entirely on my presence in a public space? And don’t give me that bullshit about how only the guilty have something to hide. I don’t owe you my privacy just because you’re profiling me.”
“International wanted lists are hardly profiling.” Clark spoke up now, looking slightly uncomfortable with the trajectory of the conversation.
“Locking someone up and refusing to let them go until they admit to some wrongdoing isn’t exactly prime investigation methodology.” He paused, looking contemplative. “You want my take on what’s going on? I can do that. Not sure you’d like it, though.”
“Why don’t you try, then.” Diana folded her hands on the table in front of her.
“Well, to begin with, it’s not exactly your usual MO to pick up people wherever and whenever. Since I was not actually doing anything criminal at the moment,” at Hal’s dubious look, Draper rolled his eyes, “well, nothing obviously criminal at least, I’m going to assume you had a reason to keep an eye on the situation.”
Diana didn’t show any reaction, but inside, Hal was sure she was growing even more suspicious.
“It’s unlikely that you had any sort of advance warning and were on guard for that reason. If that were the case, the only way this would be a Justice League level threat would be if you expected a known villain. Otherwise you would’ve let regular security or maybe the MPD handle things. Obviously I’m not a known supervillain, so we can count that out.”
If anything, Draper seemed to be relaxing further, leaning one elbow on the back of his seat and slouching a little. Hal mentally adjusted his age estimation downwards.
“So, you must have had another reason to keep an eye out. That must mean there is something specific in that exhibit that you’re worried about. Again, if it were simply something valuable, that wouldn’t be your problem. None of the objects on display have any particular political significance or uncertain provenance. That only leaves the possibility that one or more of the objects would be League-level threats if they fell in the wrong hands, probably due to some sort of magic.”
Diana’s lips pinched into a tight line. “And how would you know that?”
“I did not, not until I was rushed out by Superman. For future reference, unless you have actual evidence, maybe don’t probe too much. Before this I had no idea it was anything but a regular exhibit. Now? I know for a fact there’s something worth checking out. What, do you inform Luthor about every Kryptonite reserve you hear about just to ask him if he’s going to pilfer some?”
“So we should have just let you do whatever you want?”
“No, you should have upped your surveillance. Maybe called in the local law enforcement if you were truly worried. Shadow me personally. Really, anything that didn’t give new information to a suspect with even the barest of logical thinking skills.”
“Pretty sure most people would be too shaken by getting questioned by superheroes to treat the situation like a logic puzzle.” Hal had to admit, though, that Draper clearly wasn’t a regular person.
“An average citizen, maybe. Anyone who actually merits League attention? Not so much.” Draper started counting on his fingers. “So, one, you showed your hand way too early, giving me information I didn’t have before. Two, you try to interrogate me without prepared questions and just hope that I spill the beans out of sheer nerves. No, wait, that’s three; mistake number two was bringing me to the Watchtower even though this could have been done just about anywhere else. It can’t be standard protocol to do a routine questioning up in space.”
“Nothing about this is routine,” Hal murmured under his breath. Diana and Clark both glanced at him, but he knew they were agreeing.
“Now, you did confiscate my phone and check me for obvious weapons, so props for that at least. However, unless Supes ran off faster than I could see at some point, the phone is still somewhere on his person, so that’s another point against you.”
“And why would that be a mistake?” Diana asked. “Are you suggesting you could take your phone from Superman?”
“Not unless I had Kryptonite on hand, no. However, that does mean you brought an unknown, unshielded device into your headquarters. You’re lucky I don’t have anything actually malicious running on it, or you’d be in pretty deep shit by now.”
“I will admit I am not the greatest expert on the technology of the modern world, but I doubt you could have any kind of programs on your device that would penetrate our defenses without some kind of prior knowledge on said systems.”
“Even assuming that’s the case, I could have something running that examines the systems and investigates them for any sort of weakness. I could also have a coconspirator somewhere, working on the information transmitted by my phone. Hell, it could be the beacon for a targeting system of some kind. It’s like you can’t decide if I’m a threat or not. If I’m important enough to question on the Watchtower, I’d prefer to be taken seriously. Or are you this incompetent with everyone?”
Superman bristled. “You’re the one insisting you’re innocent.”
“Because I am. However, you clearly don’t believe that. And even if you believed me, or if I was just a witness, it wouldn’t be an excuse for this kind of approach. I would hope you have some sort of security guidelines, which would mean that everyone who hasn’t been thoroughly vetted should be treated as a potential security risk.”
Hal shifted. That did sound uncomfortably accurate. Diana, however, would not let go so easily. “For someone professing his innocence, you seem to have given this a lot of thought.”
“I do deal with security a lot in my job. Which, just so we’re clear, is not actually a crime. Neither is questioning your actions.” He turned back to his hand. “Of course, this whole questioning is mistake number five, because it should never have happened. And mistake number six,” He smirked, lifting a finger on his other hand, “you did not wait for Batman to be safely off planet before you started on this whole clusterfuck.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
Rather than answer, Draper simply held up his hand with five fingers all extended. Then he started setting them down one by one, his smirk getting wider as the silent countdown progressed. Hal tensed, knew Diana and Clark were doing the same.
As the last finger descended, the door to the room was thrown open. Hal wasn’t too proud to admit he jumped. The surprise was replaced with pure dread when he looked over to the door and found Batman looming in the doorway.
“What,” Batman growled, “is this?”
“Oh, hi B!” If anything, Draper looked even more carefree than before. “If I promise to get my full report done by tonight, can I go now? I was supposed to meet Wing for ice cream, so it’s only a matter of time before we’ve got a full on invasion on our hands.”
“Hn.” Batman’s gaze moved between each of them, finally settling on Draper. “Summary?”
“Was at the new exhibit at Metropolis Museum of History, Wing was wondering if it’d be something Robin would be interested in so I promised to check it out. Apparently one of my old aliases got me flagged as suspicious, and our big bad heroes jumped the gun.”
Batman grunted, simply glaring at the strangely unaffected man for a moment. Finally, he spoke. “Try to keep them out.”
“I’ll try. No promises though.” Draper stood up, stretching his arms above his head. “Oh, Supes? Can I have my phone? I promise, it’s better for all of us if I can call off the hounds.”
Superman was apparently stunned enough to simply draw out the phone and hand it over. As he did so, Batman’s glare shifted to him.
“You mean you just had that on you? Bringing outside tech into the Watchtower with zero precautions?”
“Oh, yeah, I already told them off. Feel free to continue the lecture, though.” Draper took his phone, walking past them all without a moment’s hesitation. “Don’t worry, I’m sure my phone didn’t do anything I couldn’t do from home.”
Somehow Hal found his voice. Unfortunately the only thing he could find to say was, “I thought you said there wasn’t anything malicious there.”
“Nothing actually malicious, no. Doesn’t mean I can’t be a pain in everyone’s ass.” He gave them a wink over his shoulder. “And Batman’s going to let me to make a point.”
Batman grunted, but didn’t deny anything. Then he simply stepped aside, allowing Draper to walk out.
Once the door closed after him, the other three heroes all turned to stare at Batman. Hal was the one to speak up first. “What the fuck?”
“I can guarantee he is not a villain. The only wrongdoing here is your atrocious handling of the situation.”
“Who is he?” Diana had recovered enough to question Batman, now. “What did he mean by alias?”
“Exactly what it sounded like. The identity you captured him under is fake.” Batman sighed. “This is why I keep telling them not to create fake IDs that look too close to their actual appearance.”
“Them? Who is them?” Superman blinked. He looked about as confused as Hal felt.
Batman paused long enough they thought he wouldn’t answer. Finally, he spoke. “My children. He is one of them.”
Right, then. Clearly Hal had caught some kind of hallucinogenic space virus, because none of this could be true. Even if the very long, very detailed lecture Batman proceeded to give them certainly felt painfully real.
Of course, any chance of it being imaginary disappeared at once when, later that week, the entire Watchtower system refused to use any font besides Comic Sans.