Chapter Text
It’s been three months. Three whole fucking months and Remus still won’t talk to or even look at me.
Right now we’re in Transfiguration and McGonagall is talking about NEWTs and he’s listening with rapt attention, like normal. What isn’t normal is the fact that he’s sitting on his own, looking perfectly happy about it. James is sitting next to me, where Remus sat not even four months ago. And it’s my fault it’s over,
James has been trying his hardest to make me happier all summer. Pranks and jokes, playing quidditch, hanging around the muggle village he lives near and running around the nearby woods as Padfoot and Prongs.
None of it is really working in the long run. I laugh in the moment but then at night, alone in the dark the tears fall again. At night I go over to his room, crawl into his bed, get held by him when it should have been someone else, someone taller, with more scars and no glasses.
Remus not only looks but seems different. Maybe it's his hair, with the sides shaved and long at the back. Maybe it’s how he holds himself, back straight and walking confidently through the corridors. Maybe it’s the black eyeliner he’s smudged around his eyes. Maybe it’s because he’s not weighed down by me.
Transfiguration passes slowly and as soon as the bell rings I pack my bag and rush out of the classroom, away from Remus even though the only thing I want to do is stare at him forever.
The rest of the day passes slowly until lunch, which is a loud, raucous affair. Especially with the Marauders around. Even today there’s multiple conversations, loud laughter, teasing and throwing stuff at people when you’re annoyed by them. Sirius doesn’t join in. He barely even notices.
His eyes are fixed on the tall, scarred, curly haired boy sitting at the Slytherin table with a different boy hanging off his shoulders, much like Sirius used to. Opposite him, facing the rest of the hall, is Regulus. He also doesn’t look at Sirius and seems to avoid him like the plague.
At one point Sirius sees the boy hanging off Remus turn his face into his neck, laughing. Remus brings one of his arms around him, leaning his cheek against the boy’s head. Sirius' appetite abruptly flies out the window. He feels like following it.
After several more, very long minutes, Regulus and Remus stand up and leave the hall together, Regulus’ arm wrapped through Remus’.
Potions is horrible. I’m working with James, which is good, but not the best. Remus is working with Regulus, heads bowed together, talking and occasionally laughing. I can hear their laughter mixing together and it makes him feel empty inside, like it stole all of my emotions.
After another occasion of them laughing I turn around and glare at Remus, who meets my gaze and smirks before focusing back on Regulus, but his hand lifts to fiddle with something on his tie.
In Between his long fingers is a tie pin. A silver tie pin in the shape of a snake, with two emeralds for the eyes. It's obviously Regulus’, or at least from their house.
Abruptly I can feel my eyes fill with tears that I know I won’t be able to hold back. Within a second I bolt out of the classroom, startling everyone as I run out the door. I run to a tapestry that has a space behind it where I can hide.
Alone, with no one to see or hear me I let the tears fall and the sobs escape my lips. I’m only alone for a minute though before the tapestry is being pulled aside and James is crawling in next to me, putting his arms around me and pulling me towards him. I cling to him, fisting my hands in his school shirt as I cry, tears soaking his shoulder but he doesn’t care, he just holds me.
“Remus, h-he got a t-tie pin. It’s a-a snake.” I manage to gasp out in between sobs, then I start sobbing even more heavily again after saying the words.
“I saw, Pads, I’m sorry.” James says, holding me tighter, somehow.
“It-it hurts.” I choke out, my throat and eyes and throat hurt from all the sobbing and James’ shoulder is soaked.
“I know. He isn’t being fair. He just needs to listen to you when you explain. Then he would understand.” James’ voice is soft, careful. It helps a little bit, enough for me to stop sobbing so violently.
I sit back and wipe my eyes, slightly embarrassed at my overreaction. James takes one look at me and decides that we’re skipping the rest of Potions, pulling me out of the hidden space and up to Gryffindor tower. I do my best not to let my thoughts drift to Remus. I fail, miserably.
****
James shoots me a betrayed look as he runs out of the classroom after Sirius, I smile a bit, cold and menacing. I can feel Regulus shaking with laughter next to me, we glance at each other and that sets off another round of laughter. He elbows me and we go back to focusing on the potion.
Just as I’m exiting the room after class, eager to get back to the dorm room I’m grabbed by the front of my robes and shoved into a wall.
“What the fuck did you do to Sirius? What did you do that made him run out of class in tears?” Marlene hisses in my face, anger flaring in her eyes. I push her away and she stands back, her wand out.
“I didn’t do anything, you should ask him what he did to me .” Then I walk away, Regulus and Dorcas walking just behind me. My heart is beating hard, my breathing slightly too heavy as I storm into the Slytherin common room, attracting looks as always, but no one approaches me now. If they did they’d also get punched in the face. I burst into the dorm room, where Barty and Evan are already waiting, both of them lying on Barty’s bed.
“Woah, Rem, what happened? What has Sirius done now?” Barty asks as he gets up from his bed. I start angrily pacing the room, running my hands through my hair.
“Not Sirius, well slightly Sirius, but mostly Marlene.” I say, still angry. Barty and Evan both look mildly shocked.
“Marlene McKinnon, Gryffindor beater and-” Barty is cut off by Dorcas,
“Best friends with Sirius?” She says while sitting down on Regulus’s bed, who is currently leaning against my bed. We all look at her, she’s blushing a bit, hidden by her dark skin.
“Yes, she was on the quidditch team with him. She’s pretty protective of him.” I reply, sitting down on my bed and leaning against Regulus’ side, who runs his fingers through my hair.
“Let’s drop this conversation for now, how was your day Barty?” Regulus says, causing Barty to launch into a rant about how boring History of Magic was, with Evan chipping in to explain some things in more detail. This goes on for about half an hour before the door opens and Pandora sails in, throwing herself onto Regulus’ bed next to Dorcas without saying a word.
“And then he-” Barty is cut off by Pandora’s appearance.
“Everything alright, Panda?” Dorcas asks, sitting up from where she had been lying down as well. Pandora groans and covers her face with her hands, causing Barty to laugh a bit and then get elbowed in the stomach by Evan.
“No, sort of, I don’t know!” She cries out, rolling onto her front and burying her face in the black silk duvet Regulus had for some unknown reason. Pandora stays like that for a couple of minutes before reemerging and taking a deep breath.
“I literally just discovered I like Lily Evans. Help me.” She looks around at us helplessly, then Barty laughs, properly laughs, falling forwards on his bed and shaking. Evan promptly shoves him off said bed, causing him to land on his side on the stone floor, still laughing. Regulus shoots a stinging hex at him.
“Ow! Fuck you Reg.” Barty says as he pulls himself back up next to Evan, rubbing his left arm. Regulus puts his wand away again and nonchalantly replies,
“No thanks, ask Evan.” This causes Barty to go bright red and Evan to whip his face around to Barty and stare at him. Barty smiles weakly, then sprints out of the rooms upon seeing Evan’s murderous look. Evan follows him out, shouting at him the whole time.
I start laughing then, falling backwards on my bed. Pandora giggles and Dorcas laughs, Regulus just rolls his eyes and sits down next to my feet.
“You three really didn’t know? It was so obvious.” Regulus says as he fiddles with the laces on my shoes.
“Wait, did you already know?” Dorcas says incredulously. Regulus blushes a tiny bit, only visible because of his pale skin.
“Yes.” He says simply.
“How?” Dorcas is staring in shock and surprise at him. Regulus rolls his eyes again, I’m surprised they haven’t fallen out of their sockets by now.
“Barty asked me to kiss him to see if he liked guys early last year, then admitted he liked Evan but didn’t know what to do about it.” Regulus says as if he hasn’t just reset all of our knowledge about Barty and Evan’s friendship. Pandora breaks the brief silence.
“Do you think Evan knows?” She says, thinking out loud.
“Based on that reaction? I think he just found out and probably likes him but doesn’t know.” I say, thinking back to the last time I was part of a situation like this.
“How do you know that?” Dorcas asks, sounding mildly impressed.
“That’s exactly how Sirius reacted when he found out with me. How did you think we got together? Neither of us can properly talk about our feelings.” Regulus scowls at that.
“Black family teachings.” He says darkly, still scowling.
“Wait, so how did Sirius find out?” Dorcas moves across Reg’s bed so she’s sitting facing where I’m still lying down, so I sit up, turning to face the other three.
“Truth or dare. I was dared to kiss the hottest person in the room by James, who didn’t know about the crush and was trying to prove I had a crush on Mary,” I roll my eyes at that, James was so oblivious to the fact that I was never staring at her but at Sirius. “I wasn’t thinking properly as we’d been drinking, it was Marlene’s birthday and I kissed Sirius, who kissed me back and then I ran away. He chased me shouting at me.”
“So what happened after that?” Pandora asks, her face lit up, smiling. She loves gossip, she’s like a moth to a flame with it.
“He kissed me, we made out for a bit and then I returned without him and James ran to find him and found him crying. We’d come up with a plan as neither of us were ready to come out, Sirius said we had an argument and then we ignored each other around everyone else for a couple of weeks and secretly dated for four months until…you know. That’s when James and Peter found out because I broke up with him in front of James and I’m guessing one of them told Peter.”
“I’m guessing my brother still isn’t over you?” Regulus asks. I nod. Regulus rolls his eyes yet again. “That’s pathetic, it’s been months he needs to get over it.” Dorcas nods in agreement. Regulus sighs, then starts speaking again, slightly wearily.
“So do we need to go and find them two and make sure they’re okay? Or do we leave them in the hope that they’re snogging?” Regulus says and the four of us laugh. I stand up, pulling him up with me and I make a sweeping gesture towards the door, a mischievous smile on my face.
“Lead the way.”