Chapter Text
“Do you like Morgan?” Hawk asked me as Morgan walked towards the rows of carnival food stands.
He put his tiny hand in mine as I started to walk towards the rides.
“What do you mean?” I looked down at Hawk. This vacation has been the happiest I’ve seen him in, well ever.
“ I like Morgan. I want to keep him.” Hawk said. I guess I could give Hawk Morgan if I really wanted too, but he might be mean to Hawk as a slave or pet. I suppose I may have also grown a liking to the guy. Not in a weird way though, well maybe in a slightly weird way.
“Alex, can we live with Morgan forever?” Hawk asked, staring up at me.
“What am I not enough for you?” I responded “of course you can’t live with Morgan he isn’t family.” I’m your only family. “It's not like Morgan’s your Dad or anything.”
“ Can he be?” Hawk asked. He pulled me towards the line for the Ferris wheel. I hate the Ferris wheel.
“Not unless I marry him.” I said plainly “and I won’t.” The line was long, it was leading outside of the metal bars.
“Why not?” Hawk asked. Hawk was doing anything but being still. He was fidgeting moving side to side, you name it, he was doing it.
“Because I don’t love him” I replied unapologetically. Hawk stilled. It was weird. Hawk is never still.
“Well I love him.” Hawk said. Looking me dead in the eyes. I could feel tension between us. That was new. But I wasn’t particularly upset by it. He’s 6.
“You're too young to marry him.” I joked. It succeeded in startling Hawk into no longer being serious.
“Not like that!” Hawk yelled “I love him the same way I love you, Alex.” That’s sweet. But also not good. He can’t love Morgan, he just met him, hasn’t this kid ever watched frozen.
“With the way you’ve been acting, I can’t help but doubt that.” I said. I don’t know why I said that. The tension was now back. This time I started it.
“What do you mean?” Hawk questioned. He looked sad. He can’t handle the accusation that I just put towards him. He hadn’t expected it, to be fair neither had I. The accusation was so out of left feild not even I could have seen it coming.
“ I’m saying you love Morgan more than me“I chided. “or maybe you just don’t love me at all.” I have never questioned whether Hawk had loved me or not however.
“No! Alex, how could you ever say that!” Hawk yelled, drawing the attention of the rest of the people waiting in line, deciding that being nosy is better than being bored.
“Then stop pestering me about you wanting Morgan.” Many times I have questioned whether or not I love Hawk.
Hawk let go of my hand and burst into tears “what if I want to make Morgan my dad” Hawk is screaming. I never loved his mother. That is certain. I think I’m a psychopath. I have never loved anyone. Not even my mom and dad.
I care for Hawk, I enjoy his joyful presence. I want to protect him. I want him to be happy.
Still, I don’t feel anything but mild annoyance when he cries around me. I don’t really notice when he’s hurt unless it directly impacts me. I don’t even care that my words have hurt him right now.
I’d like to think that my paternal instincts haven’t kicked in because deep down I know that that woman had cheated multiple times and Hawk is most likely not mine.
But I know that it is simply because I am a higher being than Hawk and though I care for him he is not at the same level of importance I am. He is either full human or half angel both being lesser beings than yours truly making me incapable of loving him fully as a parent should.
That begs the question though. What is love?
“Well you can do whatever I don’t care.” I yelled back “Good luck changing your DNA.” With that Hawk ran off . He’ll probably come back eventually. Kids need food and water and stuff. Hawk doesn't have a god parent.
Not that I'm particularly religious. Actually I'm not religious at all, but my parents are the only people who would be able to take care of Hawk once I'm gone. If I can die.
Despite how hard I'm trying to ignore the invisible rotting flesh, my wings are decaying and my parents are in their sixties. By the time Hawk would be in his teen years both of them would be about ready to drop dead.
The only other person I know who might be willing to take in Hawk in the event of my passing is Morgan. Should I ask him though? Hawk obviously likes him. We just had our very first argument over him.
After thoroughly proving that I'm not only an s tier villain but also an S tier parent. I remembered that Morgan had not eaten breakfast. If I want to convince a guy I just met to be Hawks Godfather I have to get the best damn meal known to mankind.
Ok. That’s pretty simple
I teleport to superpower city to try to conduct research on who would know what Morgan likes to eat. I’ve been faced with the fact that I have no idea what Morgan would want despite sharing a hotel room with the guy.
I decided to do the only sensible thing and gather information about where Morgan lives. All I know so far is that Morgan has been in this city and that he is friends with a literal angel pretending to be a superhero and some guy named after a U.S. state. Not a lot to go off of.
I saw him at superpower city so assuming he lives here it shouldn't be too hard. The first place I checked was the library. It was a fancy library near the Chastisers building. I chose this one because it is the one most people go too,that’s to be expected it has more books than most libraries in the city because it’s privately funded by the Chastisers.
When I went into the library everyone either ran out of the library or was cowardly in the corner. Good. I went to the librarians desk to look for any and everyone who went to the library. There was only one person, well only one male person who matches my very vague description. There were plenty of women and people whose last name doesn't suit Morgan’s face. Also people who have donated to the library or bought a shit load of books, which just doesn't seem like something Morgan would do.
And then I found it. A library card with just Morgan on it. Just the first name, no middle name, no last name, just Morgan. Perfect.
I clicked on the person and it said the library card had not been used in 4 years. Weird. Despite this it still has an active status next to the information rather than an inactive status as it should be if someone hasn’t used it for so long.
Regardless, the card still has an address so it shouldn’t hurt to check. He had to have lived there at some point so the neighbors might know if he eats a certain kind of food frequently. Morgan seems like a pretty friendly guy, he might have made friends with his neighbors.
I walk into this apartment complex. It looked worse on the outside, this part of the city is known for its questionable living conditions so it’s nice to know that Morgan found a good place to live around here. Not that I care.
What was his apartment number again; 312. 3-1-2. I press the button for the third floor. 3-1-2. I walk around the floor while scanning the numbers on the doors. 310,311,312. When I get to the room I see some guy rummaging through it. When I looked in I was the angel who was with Oregon jacob.
“Hello.” I said awkwardly. “What are you doing over there?” It’s entirely possible he lives with Morgan but I doubt it considering he seemed to be in a relationship with Orphan Joe not to mention he literally ascended into the heavens the first time I met him. I doubt he lives in this horrible on the outside and mediocre on the inside- ass apartment.
“L-looking for you.” Barnaby said. Even though I’m not good at remembering names I remember him,somehow. “W-w-well, any sign y-you might have b-been here and a way to s-stabilize your m-magic using your DNA.”
That’s a lot of big words, all I hear is some other hero wanting to stop me. I don’t like that.
I don’t know how but my magic failed to keep my wings at bay as I propelled myself with the bandaged appendages. Barnaby swiftly moved out of the way. “W-w-what the f-f-fuck!” Barnaby yelled With someone with the voice of a 10 year old boy with a speech impediment. He is incredibly agile.
I repeated my action again “what h-h-have I done to provoke you?” Barnaby questioned. and again. “I’m s-s-sorry just don’t hurt me!?” Barnaby pleaded Until I got tired and threw the couch towards him and they ran towards him favoring the right. Assuming he would favor the more open space towards his right.
I grabbed him and threw him to the floor. I thought he would be heavier. I pinned him down and placed a hand around his neck.
“W-what’s T-t-t-the point of this.” Barnaby said using the last few bits of air left in his lungs. “I wanna help you.” Barnaby said, it was barely a murmur.
I sat there for an hour. Not doing anything other than tightly grasping Barnaby’s neck. Until I questioned why I did that in the first place. It’s not like he did anything to offend me. It just felt as if being an angel, living in general, him existing and having all of the things I was deprived of, really pissed me off.
I squeezed his neck harder than I was previously . And suddenly two big pure white wings appeared from Barnaby’s back. Jackpot.
I turned Barnaby’s lifeless body onto his back and pulled in wing number one. I could hear the bones, nerves and flesh disconnecting inside of his boy but his skin and muscle were still holding on, I used more force to pull the limb away from the rest of Barnaby’s body.
One down, one more to go. I pulled this one with more initial force than the one I did previous causing it to be pulled out fast. Blood was gushing out of the two wings as well as the two gaping holes in Barnaby’s back.
I stared at them for a minute or two.
I’m not sure if it was out of satisfaction or fascination but I did it anyway. You could see the parts of the rib cage that had to break to allow the wings to separate. It’s disturbing. I don’t care.
About 10 minutes after I defeated Barnaby’s wings from his body the wings disintegrated. Well I wouldn’t use that word, the more accurate description would be that they melted into a puddle of blood and white flesh. Fuck
Soon after I got up and walked towards Morgan’s next door neighbor, clothes soaked in blood, but still continuing on my original plan to get Morgan his favorite meal.
I knocked, once, twice then knocked the door down. There was two people in the apartment. A young man standing in front of what I could only assume was his mother.
“Do you know anything about Morgan’s favorite food.” The two people looked at me in confusion but the mother managed to utter out “He likes that one sandwich place on Main Street.” Finally I’m getting somewhere.
“Every time he eats it I can smell the delicious pork from any floor in the apartment-.” How sweet. After I figured out what his preferred sandwich was I left the building leaving bloody footprints on the carpet.
After that she started to babble about her life, her childhood, to spare her son and her daughter that was hidden somewhere in the apartment.
I got the food and teleported back to the hotel room. I changed my clothes and just sat in the bed for a bit.
This felt different.
I have always killed people knowing we were different. We might seem the same on the outside but if you look for a moment longer, if you let your eyes linger you will realize. I am a fallen angel.
A beauty in time form.
But now that I have killed one of my own. Someone of the same breed as me. I am faced with the fact I am truly devoid of any life or humanity. If heaven could have detected it at birth? Is that why I’m a fallen angel?
In the Bible Lucifer was a fallen angel as well. Does that make me the devil? Though Lucifer would be a better name than Alex considering my actions I have grown fairly attached to this name and I don’t want to change it.
I have to get this food to Morgan before it gets cold.
Honestly I felt numb, as I was walking by the carnival attractions as I was looking at the tall buildings. All the things that would normally cheer me up have gone away. My one claim to not being a monster . For me to be above it all is now numb and void.
And then I saw him. When I looked at him with food in hand and I was certain that I had finally realized why I went to the lengths I did to get some guy a sandwich.
It was like fireworks going off in every crease and corner of my brain. The most euphoric feeling filled my body leaving me to only feel the extract of this emotion.
I was in love.
And it felt great.