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It was a beautiful afternoon in Paris, Rosé had finished all her fashion week commitments.
To tell the truth, she was exhausted, as much as she was proud to be the face of Saint Lauren, having to know so many people in such a superficial way left her with dozens of blurry faces in her head, it was mentally exhausting even for one person. outgoing like her.
Suddenly a feeling of loneliness hit her body, he thought about how her life was so empty.
It wasn't a new feeling for her, on Blackpink's first tour she felt the same, it took her a while to get out of that place and find some meaning in what she was doing.
She made new friends, such as Hyeri, and found refuge in small hobbies such as learning to bake.
But right at that moment, she took thousands of steps back in the progress she had made, feeling overwhelmed by the end of the tour.
What was I going to do now?
The other girls had different plans, Lisa was going to live in Paris for a while, Jisoo had acting projects on the way, and Jennie always had something going on
Before he had a chance to ramble on, a message arrived.
She picked up her phone and realized it was Jisoo.
- Chaeeeng, I'm bored 😣, shall we play?
A shy smile formed on Rosie's lips and she forgot about her tiredness.
-Unnie, yes!, what do you want to do?
"The truth is I'm very comfortable in my room kekeke, I don't want to go out, how about you come and we have a sleepover" Jisoo responded immediately
Rosé didn't think about it for a second, to tell the truth, she was unable to say no to Jisoo from the first day she saw her.
-I'll be at your hotel in an hour, unnie.
- I know I can always count on you 🐿️
She immediately packed her pajamas and toothbrush and called her manager to ask him to get her a vehicle.
In less than an hour she was entering the place, she got on the elevator and discovered herself, combing her hair in the reflection of the mirror in it.
She had a rule, if she was going to see Jisoo she had to look pretty, it was a beautiful afternoon in Paris, Rosé had finished all her fashion week commitments.
To tell the truth, she was exhausted, as much as she was proud to be the face of Saint Lauren, having to know so many people in such a superficial way left her with dozens of blurry faces in her head, it was mentally exhausting even for one person. outgoing like her.
Suddenly a feeling of loneliness hit her body, he thought about how her life was so empty.
It wasn't a new feeling for her, on Blackpink's first tour she felt the same, it took her a while to get out of that place and find some meaning in what she was doing.
She made new friends, such as Hyeri, and found refuge in small hobbies such as learning baking or painting.
But right at that moment, she took thousands of steps back in the progress she had made, feeling overwhelmed by the end of the tour.
What was she going to do??
The other girls had different plans, Lisa was going to live in Paris for a while, Jisoo had acting projects on the way, and Jennie always had something going on
Before he had a chance to ramble on, a message arrived.
She picked up her phone and realized it was Jisoo.
- Chaeeeng, I'm bored 😣, shall we play?
A shy smile formed on Rosie's lips and she forgot about her tiredness.
-Unnie, yes!, what do you want to do?
-The truth is I'm very comfortable in my room kekeke, I don't want to go out, how about you come and we have a sleepover- Jisoo responded
Rosé didn't think about it for a second, to tell the truth, she was unable to say no to Jisoo from the first day she saw her.
-I'll be at your hotel in an hour, unnie.
- I know I can always count on you 🐿️
She immediately packed her pajamas and toothbrush and called her manager to ask him to get her a vehicle.
In less than an hour she was entering the place, she got on the elevator and discovered herself, combing her hair in the reflection of the mirror in it.
She had a rule, if she was going to see Jisoo she had to look pretty, something that wasn't easy when all of when lived together.
It was impossible for the eldest not to see her with panda circles under her eyes and nests in her hair from time to time.
She got off the elevator, knocked on the door and after a few seconds she found a smiling Jisoo at the moment the door opened.
- Hello, Rosie - She said with a sing-song voice as he invited her inside.
- Hello, Unnie, how are you?
- I'm fine, but I'm very hungry and since I know that you are always hungry, I took the liberty of ordering half of the dishes on the menu.
"That's why I love you, Unnie," the blonde replied as she threw herself onto the bed on her back, laughing.
After a few seconds, Jisoo spoke with a relaxed tone while looking for something in a drawer.
- By the way, yesterday you looked very pretty in the dress you wore to the After Party.
Rosé couldn't help but laugh nervously and before she could respond, Jisoo added
- Your legs looked super long, tell me that you took one of those of your torso and your legs with that outfit.
In that moment the blonde's heart beat faster than she wanted to admit.
- Unnie, of course, that's my stamp.
-"Blinks are going to go crazy," Jisoo responded, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at Rosé from above.
-"I don't deny that maybe I like to provoke them a little," Rosé said with a sideways smile.
- Only blink? - Jisoo asked, slapping the blonde's leg playfully.
"Not necessarily, I have one or another objective," Rosé responded, laughing, she couldn't deny it.
- Was I part of those objectives? - Jisoo asked her in a flirtatious tone.
That was strange, Jisoo was not one of those who flirted playfully, If I were Lisa, it would be an everyday thing, but with her oldest, it was an eclipse that took years to pass.
- Unnie, you're out of my league - Rosé told her, trying to pretend it was joke, but deep down she knew it was true.
She always knew Jisoo was not from this world, she stole her breath from the first time she saw her and then she did it again and again with the way she made her laugh with her witticisms.
Jisoo rolled her eyes and said
- I'm just going to say that you know I like creative people.
At that moment there was a knock on the door.
- It must be the food - indicated the blonde.
Jisoo got up to open the door.>
Rosé thought about Jisoo's comment, of course, she knew that she liked creative people, there was a reason why the oldest had chosen an actor to be her boyfriend.
A boy who, in addition to that, was strong, emotionally stable, and a man, 3 things that Rosé could never be.
Jisoo's voice brought her out of her thoughts.
- Calling the squirrel to the ground, get down from the tree when dinner has arrived.
- I'm going to go to the bathroom first to put on my pajamas and take off my makeup, unnie.
As she changed, she began to think about how it took her too long to accept the possibility that she might like girls, and how it then took her even longer to realize that the girl crush she had with Jisoo wasn't so platonic. as he thought when he was 16 years old.
To tell the truth, she still had a hard time accepting that she didn't have the slightest chance with that beautiful girl and probably with none.
She couldn't afford to risk the group's future like that.
When she returned to the room and sat at the table, Jisoo must have noticed something in her expression because she asked her
- What's up with that pout and those sad eyes?
- Am I that easy to read?
- Most of the time you are a little ball of light jumping from one side to the other, it is very easy to know that something is happening to you.
Rosie began to eat some pasta, avoiding responding and Jisoo looked at her expectantly. After a few bites, she spoke
- I just feel a little socially drained after so many events.
Jisoo smiled warmly at her
- I understand you, I don't want to see anyone in 3 days - the oldest frowned and shook her head as she said it, then added - Well, only you, obviously.
Rosé laughed to herself, apparently Jisoo inadvertently chose to be the sweetest person in the world while she didn't know what to do to control her feelings.
Probably, her mind short-circuited from so much overthinking, since without giving it much thought he said what he felt- I don't want to be with anyone else in the world but you right now.
Upon hearing that, Jisoo leaned over the table and gently squeezed the girl's cheek with her hand. Rosé smiled with some sadness.
The rest of dinner Jisoo told her stories about how much she was in high school, making Rosé laugh to the point her stomach hurt.
Then they decided to watch Disney movies and some episodes of Shin-chan, all the moments of existential crisis that Rosé had experienced had vanished with the laughter that the older one caused her.
While the two of them were lying in that giant bed watching cartoons, she felt that she had rejuvenated herself
She looked away from the television and looked at the girl next to her, her face without makeup made her look younger.
So the blonde couldn't help but scan her face for a long time, stopping at those heart-shaped lips that took her breath away. .
Maybe she spent more time than reasonable looking, because Jisoo spoke without moving, making her jump in surprise.
- You wanna tell me something? I feel your eyes on me.
That simple question floored Rosé. Did she want to say something to Jisoo? After thinking about it for a while, she decided that telling her the truth wasn't such a bad idea.
It's not like the rest of the world doesn't think the same.
- I was looking at you because you are very pretty.
After hearing those words Jisoo turned to look at her, smiling sideways, she raised her hand and stroked Rosé's hair gently, putting a little of her hair behind her ear.
-I'm glad you haven't changed, you're still my little chipmunk who tells me nice things, I don't know what I would do without those words
- Unnie everyone tells you that you are beautiful every day
-But, you have told me those kinds of things in my worst moments, long before I was Jisoo from Blackpink, when I was just another trainee about to give up.
Rosé, was a little dizzy from her partner's confession and commented - I always thought I was a little bothersome to you, i was looking at you all the time like a fan.
The truth is that the blonde was a little embarrassed when she thought about how obvious she was about the crush she had on the oldest girl at that time.
She never measured her words because deep down she thought two girls couldn't be together.
When she began to realize that it was possible, she stopped being so direct with Jisoo, continuing to compliment her here and there from time to time.
- Not at all, I had all those people saying that I did every little thing I tried wrong and then there was you treating me with a lot of love - she smiled and added - did you know that the others thought you were in love with me?
Rosé's soul left her body and she could only manage to say- i had no idea.
- They were too annoying about it, but I have to admit that for a moment I thought it was true
Rosé froze, she couldn't say anything
Thank God the oldest continued the conversation alone, saying - "It was the year we debuted when I had that big flu, which left me in bed for 3 days"
Rosé remembered those days clearly, she was very worried about her bandmate. Unless you were sick enough to be admitted to the hospital, you had to keep working.
Jisoo, as usual, was strong and tried tirelessly, but when she got to the dorm she was dropping like a fly.
But no matter how much the blonde thought about it, she couldn't understand which of her actions could reveal those hidden feelings. Her curiosity was so great that she had to ask.
- What did I do to make you believe that?
Suddenly the eldest broke the distance between the two and softly sang a verse of the song If is it you in Rosé's ear.
"You don't realize how much I love you"
Rosé understood everything. That song, that stupid song that she had heard in a drama and that had reminded her of what she felt at that moment for Jisoo, she became so obsessed with it that she even sang it in a variety show.
Jisoo moved away but stayed close enough that with a single movement, it was possible to break the distance between the two girls' lips.
"You lay down next to me, without fear of getting sick, and sang that song in my ear, almost whispering," Jisoo explained.
Rosé laughed to herself, she knew she was very obvious, but this was already a bit ridiculous, her teenage self had no common sense
The worst part about it was that now her adult self was the one who had to have this awkward conversation with Jisoo.
It was evident that the eldest was looking at her with eyes interested in any expression she made regarding the confession she had just made.
Rosie was sure Jisoo thought she was just playing a little prank on her younger bandmate because it was obvious she was having fun.
Because of that, she felt her willpower fading, as a result of how exhausted she was from pretending for so many years.
At that moment she decided that it was time to receive that announced rejection once and for all to continue with her life.
She needed to get this over with, and clear things up once and for all, since she and Jisoo had become inseparable this year and this whole thing was going to become unsustainable sooner o later.
So she took a deep breath and said seriously
- Unnie, Do really you think they were just rumors?
Jisoo stood still waiting for some kind of laughter or sign that the question had been a joke, seeing none, she responded with a simple
- Oh -
After that Rosé didn't know what to say, she had spent all her courage on that question.
Now she felt helpless.
Jisoo finally broke the silence
- I'm sorry... - she began in a nervous voice - I was talking about it so carelessly, I didn't think it through.
- Unnie, it's not your fault, I was never the clearest person, much less at 19 years old - Rosé said, wanting to minimize the damage by clarifying that that issue was from the past.
- Your 19 year old me? - Jisoo asked.
- Yes, Unnie, it's in the past, it was simply a crush, I had already mentioned it to you before - said the blonde, trying to laugh.
Jisoo looked at her for a long moment with a frown as if she knew the lie Rosé was telling.
- It doesn't make sense... - the oldets began to say in a serious voice.
Rosé panicked for a second, she never thought she could receive a homophobic attack from her bandmate.
Jisoo interrupted her thoughts .
- "Of all the people in the world, how are you going to like this disaster, Rosie "- the oldest pointed her finger at herself.
"What are you talking about?" the blonde asked with confusion.
- "Rosie, you are the most open and sweet person there is, I have a wall that constantly tries to leave people out."
- "That's not true, you are the most generous person I know, Blackpink wouldn't last a day without you".
- "No, Rosie, I'm not, I'm in this group because you, Lisa ando Jennie are my anchor in this world, if it weren't like that, I would be going around in circles, I need you more than you need me".
Jisoo pouted, to hold back her tears, Rosie didn't know how to react, Jisoo never let herself be seen this vulnerable with her.
So out of instinct, Rosé hugged her tightly, and the other girl quickly hugged her back.
In the middle of that moment, Jisoo told her almost in a whisper.
- I never believed those rumors because I thought that someone like you shouldn't notice me in thar way, it made no sense.
Rosé laughed and as she separated from the hug she said- Unnie, not everything is about logic in this world
Rosé took Jisoo's hand and gave her a small kiss on the knuckles.
Before Rosé withdrew her hand.
Jisoo brought their joined hands to her mouth and placed two quick kisses on Rosé's hand.
For a second, the blonde felt a dangerous illusion grow in her, until Jisoo let out a breath and then removed her hand from Rosie.
"You know if we had been two normal teenagers, logic could be the last thing on our priorities," said the eldest.
"But we weren't," said Rosé.
"No," Jisoo said quickly, "and we won't be normal adults either."
Rosé clearly understood what her unnie was saying, she was killing any possibility between the two, both in the past and in the future.
I immediately look at the ceiling trying not to start crying.
Jisoo's voice appeared after a while saying
-If we had never auditioned for YG, I probably would have had thousands of part-time jobs to save up and travel the world.
Rosé had no idea what Jisoo meant, but she played along effortlessly.
- You would get fed up quickly and change jobs very frequently.
Jisoo laughs
- Exactly, but I'm sure that at some point I would have a job in a cafe and possibly one day, an art student that looks like squirrel would come in ordering the entire menu.
Rosé was beginning to understand, she turned her head to look at Jisoo and responded with a smile in her face - You would probably make me laugh and I would come back every day just to see you.
-I would probably start giving you free food, without caring about being fired for that
- "Unnie, you really know how to get to my heart" - The blonde touched the tip of Jisoo's nose as she finished the sentence.
- I'm sure it would take you ages to ask me on a date.
Rosé remained silent, she was pleasantly surprised, after a few seconds she answered timidly - "You're right, I would be at least 6 months over-thinking what to do about the unnie waitress who looks like a princess."
Jisoo smiled with her eyes
- Be careful, remember that I am constantly changing jobs, if you delay it, so much you will lose your opportunity.
Rosé pouted and said in a spoiled tone
-Unnie, you are the oldest, you should take the first step, give me a napkin with your number or something like that.
Jisoo sighed and said
- No, you should go with your guitar and play me a song to propose to me.
- Unnie that would be embarrassing, it would scare away customers.
- It's true - Jisoo responded.
From that moment on, the two girls started making jokes about which song Rosé would choose and laughing madly at how cheesy it would be.
"I know! How about I leave you a drawing asking you to go see the cherry trees without blooming with me?" said Rosé after they finished joking.
Jisoo smiled, the blonde knew that the girl in front of her preferred trees instead of flowers, they had many times had small fights about the subject.
"I would say yes immediately," Jisoo said.
"Yay," Rosé sang, raising her arms.
"We could walk together no matter if the world was watching us, no one would be interested in those two girls looking at trees on a casual afternoon in Seúl," Jisoo said.
Rosé could not contain the tears that came from her eyes at those words.
Jisoo gently cleaned them, and then lay down on the youngest's chest without saying anything else for the rest of the night.
The blonde wanted to think that Jisoo told her all that, to make her understand that she could indeed see her with different eyes if they had been in a different situation.
She didn't want to ask the depth of that statement
Rosé knew that this was an end, it was a "this is impossible in this life" because of the type of life they lead.
For better or worse Blackpink would always come first, many people depended on them.
The blonde hugged Jisoo tightly and let herself be carried away by her fatigue, falling asleep without realizing it.
When Rosé woke up, she found the bed empty, Jisoo could be heard singing in the bathroom in a relaxed way.
She couldn't lie, her heart was in pieces but in some strange way, she felt happy to have Jisoo in her life no matter what terms.
She couldn't be greedy, when almost every day of her life she had that big smile directed at her, animatedly asking her what they were going to play on that occasion