Chapter Text
“What I don’t get, is what sort of thing could Rick even say to him that would cause this to happen? You know how their arguments get? Sometimes they’re shouting the house down so loud the windows shatter. And that’s not even from them throwing each other out of them!” Mike folds his arms in the kitchen chair, looking over to Neil.
“That is true. You don’t think Rick found the pictures, do you…?” Neil sipped on the cup of cold tea before him. Their kettle had broken, again.
Mike thinks.
“…….It is likely…”
“Oh god…”
The pictures they were referring to, were the ‘hidden blackmail baby pictures’ that Mike possessed. In reality, 3/4 members of the household had seen them; the only person they were withheld from being Rick. But Vyvyan didn’t have to know that.
“It is strange though, to like think, how they were so zen… it’s like, the vibes are shifting again…” Neil looks down into his cup. “…Maybe its a sign…”
“Neil, not everything’s a mystic sign from your Daily Mail horoscope. I just think they’ve had another falling out, remember the one the other month? We didn’t see them talk for days.”
“You never know, Mike…”
Neil hangs his head low as the tea swirls around his mug.
“There’s nothing supernatural happening here, I can assure you, Neil. Just some lad issues.”
Don’t think I will have forgotten this conversation by the morning.
That was the final thing he said to Rick.
And, he kept to his word, in a perhaps unconventional manner.
When Rick got up, it seemed to be a regular day, if not better. The spring sun was warm and gentle, and perhaps symbolised the start of the impending summer, or end to his awkward situation with he who shall not be named. Oh yes, the nagging and terrible situation that was first thing on his mind at the start of the day.
Naturally, he hardly slept, tossing and turning and writhing through the night, but the lovely weather around him didn’t reflect the terrible sleep he had.
By the morning.
Rick turned and looked at his alarm clock. It read 9am.
He was awake… early?
He heard footsteps down the hall.
Someone else was up… early?
The footsteps got closer.
Up early and approaching him?
Fast?
He swiped the grogginess from the corners of his eyes and scrambled to cover himself up a bit with his blankets. He had happened to sweat like mad all through the night, and somewhere along the way, removed everything besides his underwear. He clutched onto the blankets encasing his body as the handle to his door twisted open.
It was Vyvyan.
But he didn’t seem… normal?
He had some sort of a strange and uncertain energy about him, like he was seeking a thrill of the highest level, similar to the energy that radiated from him whenever they would fight. In simpler terms, he was simultaneously buzzing with excitement but shitting himself nervous, daring himself to do something extraordinary, or extraordinarily stupid.
“Vyvyan?” Rick balled his fists tighter into the blankets and sat up further.
Vyvyan didn’t respond. His eyes were just locked onto Rick, as if he was trying to intimidate him or assert some form of dominance. Rick yawned quietly and rolled his eyes, too tired to care about the weird and rather off-putting ritual being carried out on him.
And then the punk shut the door behind him.
And then he approached Rick with powerful strides, holding a confidence that twisted his stomach inside out.
Was he about to get hit? Punched? Kicked? Bitten? Beaten to a pulp? Assassinated? For completely indoctrinating Vyvyan into an odd friendship where every interaction and argument was glazed with a repulsively thick coating of homoeroticism? Was it entirely his fault, and was he to pay for it with his life? Did he have Cliff Richard written in his will for his £5 savings? Did he even have a will written?!?!!!!!
Oh fuck me, he thought, he was in deep shit now. Surely this was it.
Vyvyan took two final steps towards the side of Rick’s bed, towering above him.
And then he leaned forwards.
And then he grabbed Rick’s face with both hands.
And then…?
And then he pulled him in for a powerful kiss.
It wasn’t perfect, far from it actually, or that Rick was expecting it at all, but his stomach dropped at the sensation.
It was what he felt that night on the sofa, many months before, when Vyvyan’s lips accidentally found themselves planted on his momentarily. But this time, it wasn’t momentarily, no, he was actually pulling him in?
Vyvyan’s hands were holding his face close to his so tight he could have probably pulled it off.
His lips moved against his with a force strong enough to bruise.
He probably thought the more powerful the kiss, the more manly. Even in a situation so vulnerable and shocking, he had to try play up the act of aggression, whether that aggression had turned into something else in this moment being a debatable subject for another time.
But Rick didn’t care.
He couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t care.
He was breathless and nearly jumping out of his skin.
He had never ever experienced something like this before, he almost laughed at how absurd it all was.
He lifted his arms up to Vyvyan’s face, the blanket accidentally sliding off his torso. And then Vyvyan withdrew, within milliseconds.
“No bloody way.”
“What?”
“You’ve had nothing on this whole time.”
He steps backwards, the effects of the kiss still very noticeable on his lips and cheeks.
“No—I HAVE got clothes—“
“I’m not pissing gay! I only did that because you wanted to.”
“Vyvyan, I’m NOT NAKED— And what do you mean by—“
“That’s completely disgusting, you poof.”
“YOU’RE THE ONE WHOS JUST WALKED IN HERE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING AND SNOGGED MY FACE OFF.”
“YEAH, BECAUSE I HAD TO!”
“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO!”
“I DID! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF LAST NIGHT WITH HOW MISERABLE YOU LOOKED WHEN I LEFT.”
Rick recalls that. Very vividly. And suddenly feels embarrassment prickling deep in his already burning face.
“WELL— IF YOU HAD JUST DONE IT LAST NIGHT MAYBE I WOULD HAVE BEEN CLOTHED NOW!”
“Euurgh… WISH I HAD!”
They both fell silent. It seemed that the adrenaline was somewhat settling down and they had to mutually process what had just happened.
“Wait— Why did you kiss me? Is this a bet..?”
Silence.
Rick was never again going to experience the thrill of that sensation. Never in a million years would Vyvyan willingly storm in and decide to absolutely snog him to pieces—
Vyv moved forwards again and grabbed him, this time testing the waters with how gentle he could be before it was considered PROPERLY GIRLY (he was probably already overstepping his personal homo-meter by a mile), so he tried making it seem entirely malicious and fuelled by spite. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t. Actually, not even deep down. It was in big bold lights with flares exploding around and signs and alarm bells and sirens, more like.
He leaned over him to kiss deeper, and his hands moved onto the back of his head and his hair, teasingly pulling on one of his tiny revolting braids, just to confirm, that no, this wasn’t a bet. And to maybe piss him off a bit.
This was the real thing?
That was a weird thought. Was Rick awake? Surely not. What did it mean? Did this mean that… Vyvyan… fancies him ? Properly? No. Surely not. He just pities him.
Vyvyan withdraws again.
“Why are you frowning?” He asks Rick.
Rick didn’t even notice he had begun to show his deepest feelings and doubts on his face.
“Do you not want this? ‘Cause I’ll sod off if you want me to.” Vyvyan attempts to sound nonchalant and tough, but gives his nervousness away when his voice wobbles slightly on the last word.
“I… err….” Rick can’t seem to say anything.
Vyvyan sighs in dissatisfaction.
“Just bloody tell me; I’ll actually be pleased if you don’t want me acting like a queer for you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not GAY, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO—“
“No, why would you even do it in the first place? If it’s not a bet or anything, and purely out of pity… why do it?”
“I don’t have to give you answers for everything.”
Vyvyan puts his hands in his jean pockets and looks away. Rick wants to stand up and confront him further, but he’s even more puzzled than before, and frankly doesn’t want Vyvyan seeing him… um… in the physical state (lack of literal clothes, and unable to remember if he put the girl bait underwear on last night too) he was in already. Yet the words are fighting inside his throat to leap out:
‘Do you properly fancy me?’
“Whatever. I didn’t like it anyway. You’re a horrid kisser. I think I’ve got the plague and 7 other types of diseases now..” Vyvyan mutters quietly, then stomps out of his room as fast as he can.
And it was there that Rick came to the conclusion. They were mortal enemies. End of.
Vyvyan didn’t like him romantically, it was just wrong.
Not that he had an issue with gay people, that was— Of course not! Some of his best friends were gay.
He just couldn’t see himself going down that path in life.
Since Rick didn’t have any template relationship from his past to go off, he couldn’t come to the conclusion that this was exactly what was happening.
In his mind, when you liked someone, you kissed her a bit, touched each others bodies a bit (NOT rude and all freakishly nudy, mind you - unless you reach that stage..), buy her presents, and be nice to her. That’s what he thought relationships were, nothing more. You do that for a few years, mess about, maybe break up, find a new love, or get married. And that’s it.
It all seemed so extremely boring.
Sometimes he dreaded the thought of moving out, and finding a partner, and having some normal domestic life like his parents. It wasn’t suit for an anarchist like him, nor was it suit just for him alone.
But Vyvyan didn’t make him feel that way. Which is why it obviously couldn’t be anything romantic between them. Because Vyvyan wasn’t extremely boring like all the future relationships with girlies would be. He was far more exciting than that, as much as it pained his head to even think that.
Yet soon enough, the both of them would be in relationships with girli—women, and living their own life, and this whole situation a mere afterthought.
Well, it better be.
Because Rick knew he couldn’t live this way much longer.
He picked himself up off his bed and grabbed the creased button-up shirt off the floor, putting it on quickly.
Kiss, touch, presents, be nice.
He must’ve thrown his clothes off in such a panic they had scattered across his room in all different directions, hence why his jeans were on his desk, and his socks hanging off the curtain pole.
Kiss, touch, presents, be nice.
He pulled the jeans up over his legs, glancing meekly at the pile of textbooks to his side.
His diary had been slightly moved since he last saw it last night. Just what he needed— more ridiculing from Vyvyan. As if the mental ridicule of the kiss wasn’t enough. And—
Wait. That diary.
He remembers what he wrote in it.
The night, a week after he slept on the floor of his bedroom.
He shot forwards and pried the pages of the book apart.
Fuck.
Rick just realised. And it halted his train of thought.
They’d kissed.
They’d hugged, fought; touched.
Rick had gifted him the record.
And the final thing to top it all off, he had gushed over him many nights in his diary by mistake.
In a nice way.
Thursday 12th January, 1984 Entry
The time is currently 2:55 am.
I think something horrible is happening, because I’ve found myself in awe of Vyvyan. After we speak, I have to collect myself from being ridiculously flustered and nervous. I will update when this goes away. It needs to cease immediately. OH WHY AM I TALKING LIKE THIS!! IM BLOODY GOING MAD!! I HAVEN’T FELT AS MUCH AS A PRAT AS THIS SINCE I MIXED UP MY COPY OF ‘HOW TO BE COOL AND INTERESTING TO OTHERS’ WITH THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO FOR DEBATE CLUB!!!!!
i think my life might
be truly and utterly
over
i am in love
. . .
yes, maybe i shall fake
my own death?
move to another country?
start a new life?
i’ll decide by the morning.
- Rick
He had his eyes opened.
Ripped from the comfort of his sexuality, thrown around, shook upside down, smacked around the face, kneed in the stomach, hit over the head with a blunt object.
And everything would be different, now the words had set into his mind properly.
He closed the diary, reached for his blazer that was draped over the back of his chair, and put it over himself, smoothing out the wrinkles.
Rick had a massive horrid girly crush on Vyvyan, one that he couldn’t explain himself why, but it was there.
It was just a matter of time before Vyvyan unravelled that too.