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Everything's fine

Summary:

Aizawa does not confront his fears, so the fears confront him.

 

Or:
Aizawa visits Oboro's grave and has a mental breakdown

Notes:

Started writing this. Zoned out. Enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Sorry, it's been so long since I've visited you."

 

Shouta carefully sat beside Oboro's grave and grabbed a brush to clean off the stains on its surface.

 

"But it takes a lot of energy to train a group of teenagers to become capable heroes, and my class is a lot larger than last year. And Oboro, you're not going to believe this, but I haven't expelled a single student from this year's 1-A. Well, not yet at least. I was planning on at least expelling the kid that came last in the first quirk apprehension test, but that kid..."

 

He sighed and looked up towards the evening sky before continuing his cleaning.

 

"Let's just say he's a real piece of work. Came to the entrance exams with almost zero control over his quirk, to the point that his limbs broke while using it. But during the apprehension test, he did something that was so dumb, that it was almost brilliant again. And, I don't know, it... reminded me of you a little."

 

Shouta silently finished his work, and put the brush away, before sitting down again.

 

"But that isn't the only reason I've been away. When they were going to train at USJ, villains showed up to attack us. I got hurt in the battle and was in bandages for a while, thought it might not be the best idea to come here covered in bandages."

 

He chuckled slightly.

 

"I tried my best to protect the kids, I really did. But there was this- this bird monster that was incredibly strong, and I couldn't stop it and I wasn't strong enough and so many got hurt and I- and I-"

 

Shouta grit his teeth and exhaled slowly. This was not the place to have a breakdown for god's sake. He quickly stood up and made his way back to UA, he would find another day to talk to Oboro.

 

-

 

and I couldn't protect any of them

 

The unspoken sentence sounded over and over again in his head as he walked up the hill to UA.

 

I couldn't protect any of them, just as I couldn't protect you

 

He tried to focus on something- anything else, but nothing seemed a big enough distraction.

 

I still can't save anyone, I'm a worthless hero

 

It was fine, he was fine, he had dealt with this before.

 

I'm a worthless hero, a worthless teacher, a worthless friend

 

It would be fine, he would be fine, everything would be fine.

 

it should have been me

 

He halted, and felt tears run down his face, when did he start crying?

 

it should have been me in that grave

 

He stumbled toward a tree to the side of the road and unceremoniously slid down against the trunk.

 

at least then the world would have a competent hero, a good role model, a nice person

 

He pulled his knees up to his chin, hid his face in his arms and sobbed.

 

-

 

"Sho?"

 

He looked up towards Hizashi, for once thankful for the lack of light on the road that now hid his red eyes and the tear marks on his face. He didn't think he would be able to speak if he tried.

 

"What are you doing out here? Is everything alright?"

 

Hizashi extended a hand and Shouta wordlessly let him help him up, but he didn't move when Hizashi tried to lead him back towards the read and to UA.

 

"Sho, you're worrying me, can you please-"

 

He was cut off by Shouta practically grabbing him and pulling him in for a hug.

 

Shouta was shaking.

 

"Woah, it's okay, you're okay, everything's okay"

 

Hizashi carefully put his arms around him.

 

Shouta's voice broke.

 

"It's not."

Notes:

whoops this suddenly turned sad

anyway here's my tumblr