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“Dynamight, reporting in. Got the bastard cornered in a warehouse. We’ll be in his target range within a minute. Don’t do anything stupid, Deku. I know you’re listening.”
“Way to take all my fun away, Dynamight.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes. Izuku was such a little shit, and he wanted to punch him square in the face. He rounded the corner of the building he was using for cover and slowly, quietly made his way up the fire escape. From the schematics of the area, Katsuki knew that once on the roof of this building, he could quietly jump from its roof to the roof of the warehouse and get in through the top entrance. “Oi, Deku, listen up.”
“Listening.”
“You go in through the back and–”
“That’s what he said.”
“Deku. Don’t make me come down there and kick your ass. Just go in through the back so that this bastard doesn’t see you. If you don’t see me in five minutes, come looking, it probably means I found him. I’ll do the same.”
“Yes sir, Dynamight sir!”
“I’m going to kick your ass so hard I'll break your tailbone.”
“Promise?”
“Just go, you piece of shit!”
Katsuki watched as Izuku jumped down off of the building he was on, rounding to the back of the building. He quickly picked the lock on the door and slipped inside, quietly walking down the stairs to the top floor. He quickly scanned the room, noting any possible hiding locations. Katsuki snuck around the back of an old storage tank with his hand outstretched, and after clearing the floor he proceeded to walk down the back set of stairs to the next floor. Once again, he surveyed the area. It was dead quiet.
“Deku, do you–” Katsuki began to whisper, just as Izuku burst through the door across from him, the villain draped over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Quirk nullifier and the handcuffs please!” He said, a giant smile on his face. Katsuki rolled his eyes as he forked over the equipment, laughing as Izuku aggressively shoved the guy into a chair and slapped the nullifier and cuffs on his wrists, connecting the other side of the handcuffs to the chair.
“Well that was quick.”
“So are you, but we don’t talk about that.”
“Deku. I’m going to fucking kill you.”
“Don’t, the police don’t want to arrest more people than necessary.”
“Speaking of, did you call them?”
“Mmhmm. They said twenty minutes tops. I told them that we’d be fine babysitting until then.” Izuku said, laughing slightly.
“Excuse you? Let me go, you asshole? I didn’t do shit! You have no proof that I–”
“Two words, sweetheart. Quirk enhancers.”
“...I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The guy said, looking away. Katsuki chuckled to himself slightly as Izuku took a step back, admiring his work.
“Alright, well if you’re going to play that game, I guess we’ll play good cop bad cop. Which one do you want, Kacchan?”
“...Kacchan?” The bad guy asked, incredulously.
“Don’t fucking call me that, bozo. That’s only for Deku. Also, I know you want to play bad cop, so go for it.”
“Hell yeah, You’re so getting whatever you want from me tonight!” Izuku cheered, sending a wink in Katsuki’s direction.
“Excuse me?”
Katsuki groaned slightly. “Izuku. We talked about this.”
“I know, I know. Don’t get Kacchan worked up while we’re working.”
The villain quickly looked back and forth between the two pro heroes, eyes wide. “Are you two a fucking couple?”
Izuku giggled, stepping closer to Katsuki. “And if we were?”
“That’s disgusting. People like you are what gives society a bad name.” He spat.
“Aw, hear that baby? We’re a societal disgrace!”
“Hey, one more thing to mark off the bucket list!” Katsuki said, walking over and slinging his arm around Izuku’s shoulder. He dipped his head down, pressing his lips to Izuku’s cheek.
“Nasty. You couple of –”
“Watch it buddy.” Katsuki growled. Izuku smiled, pulling Katsuki down and actually pressing their lips together. Katsuki deepened it, pulling Izuku up against him. The villain started to make exaggerated gagging noises, and Katsuki could practically feel the excitement bubbling up in Izuku to be able to mess with him.
As they pulled away, they kept their eyes locked on each other. Izuku sent a wink to Katsuki and Katsuki could feel the mischievous aura that it had. He tried to keep his laughter to himself as Izuku moved closer to the man in the chair. “What’s your name, hm?”
“Tanaka. That’s all you’re getting from me. Fuck off you disgusting waste of space.”
“Ok then, Tanaka, how about this. Every time you call me or my partner names, or you make a homophobic remark, we’ll get even more ‘disgusting’,” He accentuated with the air quotes, “And you can’t go anywhere, so you’ll be forced to see it. Let’s see how long it takes you to stop.”
“Now you listen here. I will never stop because two guys being together is horrid. It’s the opposite of what was intended for humans. How do two guys even get it on with each other? It’s not natural.”
“...You want to see?” Katsuki said with a smirk, walking over to Izuku, who was standing in front of the villain, and pulled him back up against his body. Izuku immediately groaned, pushing further into Katsuki. Katsuki brought his hand to Izuku’s chin, tilting his head up before leaning down and kissing him. He felt Izuku’s arms wrap around his neck, one hand playing with the ties on his mask. Before starting this show, he had located the nearest table in the line of sight of the idiot they were babysitting. He wrapped his arms around Izuku’s waist and he jumped into Katsuki’s arms, barely breaking the kiss. Katsuki slid one of his hands down until it was under Izuku’s butt, holding him up like that as he carried him over to the table, laying him down as he hovered over the top of him.
Katsuki reached under Izuku and found the zipper to his jumpsuit, sliding it down, and Izuku arched his back up to help him, subsequently pushing himself up into Katsuki. Katsuki let out a groan, stopping his actions and dropping his head to Izuku’s shoulder. “Do that again.”
Izuku smirked, kicking his feet up and wrapping his legs around Katsuki’s hips, pressing him down into him again.
“Ok, ok! I yield! What do you want to know about the Quirk enhancers?!” Katsuki let out a manic chuckle as he looked over to the villain.
“Yeah, the problem is, you waited long enough that we’re both worked up now. So you just fucking sit there, and we’ll be back.”
“Excuse me??”
Katsuki let out a small growl as the villain began to try to scoot the chair around, immediately stopping the action. He grabbed Izuku and led him over to a corner behind a column, where he began to laugh quietly. “That fucking worked, I’m so proud of you, you devious little shit.”
Izuku beamed at the praise, and reached behind himself, beginning to zip his costume back up, but Katsuki stopped him halfway. “Kacchan?”
“Oh, I wasn’t kidding about why I brought you over here.”
“Ok boys, he confessed to everything. I don’t know how you got him to talk, but thank you.”
“Our pleasure.” Katsuki said, smirking. Izuku elbowed him in the side, sending a glare up at him.
“You two never seem to stop fighting. Are you sure you enjoy working together?”
“Yup!” Izuku exclaimed, happily engaging in the conversation. “Kacchan is my ideal partner. I love working with someone who can read the look on my face and know exactly what to do.”
“It works in every situation.” Katsuki stated, earning him another glare.
“...Ok! Well, I’m going to get this guy back to the station. Go fill out your incident reports please.”
“Hey, we might be newbies, but we’re already in the top twenty our first year on the job. We know what to do, old man.”
“Kacchan, play nice.”
“Bitch when do I ever play nice?”
“You did earlier.” Izuku smirked, and Katsuki was glad he still had his mask on to hide the slight blush on his face.
“That doesn’t count, I know not to mess with you in those cases.”
“Come on baby , let’s go fill out our reports.” Katsuki groaned, walking after Izuku quickly to get out of the area before the incident report they’d be filing was one for public indecency.
“Ok Red, we’re on their tail. We’ll be there in just a moment. Where are you in relation to the hideout?”
“Five minutes. If you feel that the situation is dangerous before I get there, go in. I’ll be there shortly.”
“Hey, Kirishima, maybe go in through the–”
Bang bang
“Deku! What the hell just happened?”
“I’m being shot at, I don’t know if you heard that or not.”
“Ok jackass, keep being sarcastic and I won’t help you.” Katsuki growled, already heading in Izuku’s direction.
Bang bang bang
“Deku, I swear if you die, I’ll kill you myself.”
“Promises promises.” Izuku muttered into the headset quietly. “Kirishima, wait about ten minutes. Let us get the villains surrounded before you rush in, if they hit you, you’re out of commission.”
“Aye aye captain.”
“Why is Deku the captain?” Katsuki scoffed, climbing up the opposite side of the building Izuku was on, crouching as he walked up to Izuku, slouching down against the pony wall covering the top of the building. “It’s because he’s above me in the hero ranking, isn’t it.”
Izuku grabbed hold of Katsuki, extending blackwhip over to the antenna on top of the building they needed access to. He tested the hold, and then quickly jumped up on the wall, swinging them over to the other building. “Ok, now we need to figure out where they were shooting from.”
“Third story window, west side. One man with a gun and one with binoculars.”
“Alright, nevermind! Let’s go!”
“Hold on, hold on. You know from our last mission that these guys are dealing with quirk enhancers. Do. Not. Get. Hit.”
“Yeah, what other obvious things are we going to talk about? The sky is blue? Cats are cute? You like it when I flip you over and–”
“OK! That’s enough!”
Izuku giggled and patted Katsuki on the shoulder, walking over to the roof access door, busting the handle off and walking inside. “Come on, Katsuki.”
“Deku, don’t. You’re going to make this very difficult for me, and I’d like to complete this mission.”
“Aw, Mr. big and bad can’t handle hearing his name!”
“Shut up and listen for the villains, dumbass.” Katsuki said, pressing up against a wall and slowly looking around the doorframe. He quickly assessed the danger level, and upon rating it safe to move, began to poke around in the files and paperwork left lying around. “Hey, Deku. Come look at this.”
Izuku wandered over and began to read the paper Katsuki was looking at. It was a list of the hero rankings, with the newest members circled in red pen. On that list, Katsuki could see that spots seventeen and eighteen, Izuku and himself, were circled as well. He quickly pushed the paper to the side, surveying the others in the stack to see what information they had on the circled heroes.
“They’re studying us to see if they can actually make the enhancers work on highly trained quirks that are still new to hero society.”
“Very good, Deku. You want a treat?”
“Oh, fuck you.”
“I said a treat, not something you already do on a regular basis.”
“First of all,” A voice said from behind them, “That’s information that we can use against you, so I’d be careful what you say. Second of all, is our research intriguing to you?”
Both Katsuki and Izuku whipped around, hands held out in preparation to fight.
“Hey now, I’m only here to talk.” The man said, his smile cold and full of hostility.
“How did your danger sense not go off?” Katsuki said, and Izuku looked panicked.
“It should have, I– there’s some sort of veil in here, isn’t there. Something keeping you protected. I didn’t feel it because I didn’t feel you at all.”
“Yes, very good. My quirk allows me to turn off my sense of being, meaning you can’t feel me in a designated space. It comes in handy for pickpocketing.”
“You ever heard the statement, ‘whatever you say will be held against you in a court of law’? Maybe you should watch your mouth.”
“Nah. You two won’t be able to do much of anything in here.” The villain brought his hand up and tapped on a headset. “Fourth story, in the office. I’ve got them cornered.”
“You ain’t got nothing.” Katsuki spat, and the villain put his hands up in sarcastic defense. Multiple sets of footsteps came rushing up the stairs. They burst into the room, and Izuku laughed.
“This is it? Really? Five people?” The villains all looked at him offended, activating their quirks. One surged forward, and Izuku unleashed blackwhip again, grabbing hold of him and knocking him into the wall, rendering him unconscious. “Seriously, how lame. What’s for dinner tonight babe?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it yet.” Katsuki said, sending off tiny explosions next to one of the villains, causing him to stumble right into Izuku’s grasp. “Maybe if you’re really good I’ll make you katsudon.”
“Ooh, I’m so lucky.”
“Are… are you two really planning out your evening in front of us?” The villain Izuku had a hold on asked as Izuku pushed him into a chair, handcuffing him to the desk.
“Why not? It’s not like we have anything better to do.” Katsuki smirked, charging at one of the others, feigning a punch, at the last second kicking his leg out and sweeping the villain to the ground. “You know, If I make you Katsudon, I need something in return.”
“What would you like?” Izuku asked, faking his innocence. One of the villains ran at him, and he jumped up, landing on the guy's shoulders, twisting his body around to pin the guy to the ground, tying his body to the guy cuffed to the desk.
“You, idiot.” Katsuki laughed, moving his head from side to side to crack his neck. “Who’s next?” The guy who had the barrier up put his fists up, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Katsuki slowly walked up to him, arms crossed over his chest. “Go ahead, hit me princess.”
Izuku scoffed. “I thought I was princess!” His hand rested on his hip as he shifted his weight to the opposite leg, looking at Katsuki amused. “Tsk Tsk Kacchan, are you cheating on me?”
“Come on Deku, why would I cheat on you? Have you seen your ass?”
“Ok. Fair is fair I guess.”
“What’re you on about now?” Katsuki asked, just as the villain swung his fist out to hit him, grabbing him by the wrist and craning his arm back, hearing an audible crack. “Oof. too much force. Sorry.”
“You bastard!” the man screamed. “You tell me to hit you and then you break my arm?!”
“Ooh, can Kacchan break me?”
“Your back, maybe.” Katsuki said, a smirk on his face. Both pro heroes turned to the last man, who stood shaking like a leaf. He immediately threw his arms up in surrender, and Izuku pointed to the pile of his friends. He quickly scurried over and sat down, trying to tie his own hands up. “Good job baby.”
“Hey Red Riot, you there?”
“Yup, I’m outside, you two still need help?”
“Nah, just call the cops.”
“Roger that.”
“That was pretty hot, you taking down all those guys like that.” Katsuki said, turning to Izuku.
“I could take you next, if you’d like.”
“Ok, can you guys call the cops and tell them to hurry up? If I have to hear any more of this shit I’m gonna yack.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is me explaining to my husband that I love him too much for you to handle?”
“Your… husband?”
“We got married last year. Got a problem with that?” Katsuki growled, stomping closer to the group of villains.
“No sir. I just thought you two… hated each other.”
“We do.” Both Katsuki and Izuku said at the same time, with the same monotone voice.
The villains who were still conscious looked between each other in confusion.
“I fucking hate his guts. How dare he be better than me. And prettier too!” Katsuki said, poking Izuku in the chest.
“Me? I’m the pretty one? Bitch you used to be a model!”
“Don't bring that up, you know I hate that being brought up. Why do you insist on doing that?”
“Because it’s cool! How many people can say ‘hey, I’m married to someone who used to be a model!?’”
“Izuku, shut up.”
“Make me.” Izuku snapped, and Katsuki lunged forward, grabbing Izuku by the waist and yanking him up against his body, aggressively kissing him.
“Ok, uh, gross.” One of the villains muttered, and Katsuki removed one of his hands from Izuku’s body, flipping the whole pile of them off.
“Hey uh, the police are here.”
“Oh thank you, our savior Red Riot.”
“Yeah, I’m not your savior. And you two,” Kirishima said, pulling Katsuki off of Izuku, “Need to learn how to keep your hands off of each other at work. Do you not remember Aizawa getting pissed during third year when you two would sneak off during tactical training?”
“In my defense, Red, have you seen him when he fights?”
“Yes…?”
“You can’t tell me that’s not hot as hell.”
“Ok Dynamight, let’s get these guys to the police and you can gush about Deku later.”
“I am not ‘gushing’” Katsuki said, grabbing two of the villains and throwing them over his shoulders like potato sacks.
“No, that’s hot.” Izuku laughed from behind them, motioning to Katsuki. “He can manhandle me all he wants and I’d thank him for it.”
“You damn well better!”
“Please save us.”
“And we’re live in five, four, three, two…”
“Welcome back everyone. As promised, we have a special treat for the viewers tonight. Put your hands together for some of our new up and coming heroes, the wonder duo, Dynamite and Deku!”
The audience clapped, and Katsuki felt himself sit up straighter. Not only did he hate public appearances, he hated interviews as well.
“Now, guys, tell us about that big bust you just went through, will you?”
Izuku laughed. “It was five guys. I’d hardly say it was big. But tracking these guys down took months. They were working on quirk enhancers similar to that of–” As Izuku kept talking, katsuki could feel the audience tense up. He could feel when Izuku wrapped the story up by their relieved faces, and the sighs of relief they let out.
“Well, I’m glad that you guys are safe, and that another group of criminals are behind bars. May I take a few questions from the audience?”
“Yeah! We’d love to answer some fan questions!”
Katsuki rolled his eyes. He hated this part of talk shows.
“Can you two describe what it’s like to work with each other now that you aren’t in U.A.?” One girl asked, and Izuku perked up almost instantly.
“Oh, I love working with Dynamight. He’s the best partner I could have asked for. Because we’ve known each other for so long, we can read each other without words. It’s so helpful on the battlefield!”
“Honestly,” Katsuki said, adding his two cents, “I enjoy working with Deku because I feel like no one else can keep up with me.”
The audience laughed at that, and Katsuki smirked a little.
I have a question!” A teenager piped up. “You two seem to get along super well, and you talk about each other like your friendship is second nature. Is there something else going on between you two?”
Izuku and Katsuki looked between each other, smiling. Finally, Katsuki turned to the audience and leaned forward in his seat. “You want to know a secret?”
The audience all nodded their heads, some saying inaudible agreements.
“We actually hate each other.”
“What?! That can’t be true. You two are so perfect together!”
“It’s true,” Izuku laughed. “We do hate each other. So much so that we spend every single second of every day together.”
“Wha–??”
“Don’t worry, when you’re married, you’ll understand.”
The audience was silent for a minute before the girl screamed in realization. “I KNEW IT!”
And then the studio was in an uproar.