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You weren't scared of many things at this point in your life.
Being a signal officer for the military certainly aided that statement, but it was more the fact that you had four guard dogs in the form of the most seasoned special forces operatives you've ever known. Four very large, very scary men that you'd somehow found yourself lucky enough to get to call your partners.
Both on, and off, the field.
That being said, there was one thing you were terrified of. Like, to your bones, petrified.
And that thing had a name.
John Price.
He was formally the captain of your force for a reason, but he was also informally the captain of your relationship, as well. The one you all looked to in the most difficult of moments, the one that held reason and guidance above all.
It's been that way since the five of you met, and remains the same to this day.
Nonetheless.
It was a known fact between you, Soap, Ghost and Gaz that none of you liked seeing the man mad. You four could count on one hand the amount of times you'd witnessed it, all of which having been directed at either his superiors or an enemy.
But. Right now, in this office, seated on the small couch between your three lovers?
Yeah. You don't fear many things.
But John Price's disappointment is quite easily in your top three, and this situation only cements it.
"He's probably ordering our caskets," Gaz murmurs wistfully, eyes wide as he stares at his foot, tap-tap-tapping against the wooden floor. It's a nervous tic that gives him away too easily, but even with your hand on his knee, it doesn't seem able to quit.
You exhale a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut. "I hope he gets me a cute one," you mumble back, tone matching the resignation that clouds your captain's office.
"You four. My office."
Those were the only words Price had spoken to you guys, before marching off to a meeting with Laswell.
To say that you and your lovers were mortified was the biggest understatement of the century.
Even Ghost, sat perfectly still, expression perfectly neutral beneath his mask, oozes trepidation like it's the carbon dioxide he exudes with every breath.
"I know 'm 'n tha military, but I still don't wanna die, ya know?" Soap whines, his head flung back and blue eyes glued to the roof as his hands shake in his lap.
You guys must look like unruly students sat outside of your principal's office to any onlookers, and it should be embarrassing.
It would be, if you could feel anything but mortal peril.
You're about to quip a reply to Soap, when the door clicks open, and the three of you sit ramrod straight, Ghost not moving from his already perfect posture.
Price steps in, the door shutting closed behind him.
The silence is a tangible force, and your mouth is so dry, you'd think you were in a desert, not in your lover's office.
His footfalls echo around the modest space, before he leans against his wooden desk, folding his arms over his chest, before directing his furious gaze to you four.
"When I give orders," he starts, and oh god, his tone, it's so unbelievably firm, "I expect my team to follow them."
There's no response, except for the overwhelming quiet coming from the usually passionate and comforting presence that underlies your entire dynamic.
Price clears his throat, meeting all of your eyes one by one. You wonder if you can see the glassiness of yours, the barely restrained tears.
"So why," he begins, before swallowing once more, determination settling in, "Did all four of my teammates rush into an unstable building after being ordered to keep out?"
You know it's not just the anger of a captain's orders being refused.
It's the anger of a lover having to watch all four of his partner's risk their death, while he can do nothing but watch from the scope of a sniper rifle.
The clock on the wall above the door ticks, and none of you make a sound.
Price grabs a pack of cigars from his pocket, quickly sliding one out, placing it between his lips, and shoving the pack back into his slacks. He then pulls out a lighter from his back pocket, lighting the tobacco, before exhaling his first breath of smoke.
In any other situation, you or Gaz would be chastising him, telling him to stop smoking, or to at least do it outside.
Neither of you say a word.
Rubbing at the furrow between his brows, Price then drifts his eyes to Ghost, the only one who hasn't said a word since the mission.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" Price says on a deep exhale, shaking his head. There's hurt there, genuine pain, and your heart stutters in your chest at the sight. "You're my lieutenant, Simon. I thought you'd at least 'ave the brains to listen to me when I make an order."
Ghost's hand tightens where it sit on his cargos, and even with his mask on, you can tell that a disgruntled frown lays beneath it.
"And you, Soap," he looks at the man to your right, now, and you can physically see him deflate at the disappointment in his captain's eyes. "Disrespecting authority is cute 'nd all, until it's me, mate."
Those words feel like a physical wound, even to you, and judging my Soap's crestfallen expression, for him, it must hurt tenfold.
And, then, it's your turn.
His mouth is set in a grim line, and you hope that he can see the regret, the genuine sorrow you feel at disappointing and -- and scaring your captain. Your lover.
"What were you thinking?" He asks, and your mouth wants to open, but it's as if there's an invisible force pinning it shut. "You weren't even supposed to step foot on enemy grounds, and you knew that."
And it's true. Your role is mainly with communications and technical supplies, not actual combat. You were trained, yes, but it has never been your role.
But you'd seen Soap rush in, Ghost trailing after him, yelling, and then Gaz not long after, and it was like your mind shut out any rational lines of thinking. There was no rationale when it came to your partners.
That was a flaw. A genuine character fault, and Price was cementing that fact in this very room.
"Kyle," Price runs his hand down his face, cigar in between his middle and index fingers, "Kyle."
The pain, regret, the melancholy -- it's its own element in this room, its own being, and it feels as if it's choking you from the inside out. Like a gas leak, or a grenade stuck in your throat, about to go off.
Ghost, shockingly, is the first to speak.
"Captain," he grits out. Not 'old man'. Not 'love'.
Captain.
"We're aware of our... misgivings," he states, the words coming off of his tongue like hot coals he needs to rid off, lest his entire mouth burns.
Price nods, slowly, eyes narrowing at Ghost. It hits you, then, how your lover's just dug all of your graves in one sentence. Gaz seems to realise, too, his eyes going wide, exhaling a low, short breath in surprise.
"Sweetheart," he quips, standing up in the transition of one moment to the next, eyes snapping to your glassy ones. The endearment holds no warmth to it, for the first time, and your heart shatters where it beats in your chest, shards of glass embedding into the muscle surround it. "Get on the desk."
He says the words, and in the next movement, sweeps his arm over his desk, causing all of his papers, his pens, his folders, to go careening to the floor.
Soap mutters a curse under his breath, and Gaz winces.
On shaky legs, you stand, walking the short distance to the wooden surface and sitting on it with short pants of breath.
His large hand grips your chin in a tight grasp, tilting your head back and forcing the eye contact between you both.
He leans in, mouth mere millimetres away from your own, before speaking. You can taste the tobacco as he does. "I'm gonna let every single one of my subordinates fuck your disobedient cunt, and it's not gonna get any cum. Do you understand that order, sweetheart?"
It's cruel. Patronising, and so unbearably condescending, but you nod, a tear finally leaking down your cheek.
With a calloused thumb, he wipes it away in one stroke. "Save that for the actual punishment, operator."
And then, he steps back, and takes a seat in his chair, allowing him a full view of the other three still sat at the couch, and your position in his desk.
"This is a lesson on following your captain's orders," Price barks his order, like most other men of his rank would. It's a stone cold contrast to the gentle, comforting way he usual spoke to the four of you. His voice, now, holds no love, no underlying adoration lacing through his words. "You will follow every command I give you, and hopefully, this training will carry onto our future missions."
You're all aware that if it gets too much, one of you will utter the safeword you're all aware of -- the weight of it almost embedded into your beings.
Price knows it, too. And no matter how angry he is, he'll always put you all first, listen to you when you genuinely need to stop.
The feeling in the room has shifted from one of heavy disappointment, to an electrifying anger that has liquid heat melting to your core.
"Simon," Price snaps his fingers, and it's almost as if you're in a parallel universe, because the large man immediately stands. "Lay 'er down on the desk."
Ghost only needs to take two steps from the couch before he's standing in front of you, hand fisting into your hair, before somewhat gently pushing you to lay flat against the smooth surface. Your breathing is harsh, your chest moving in quick rises.
"Strip 'er down," Price orders, voice gravelly as he takes another deep inhale of his cigar, folding his leg so his left ankle rests on his right knee, legs spread wide. He fills out the chair with his frame, and it makes you shiver as Ghost gets to work peeling your clothes off of you.
When your heated skin feels the kiss of the cool air, you let out a haggard breath, head falling back to hit the wood as you clench your eyes shut.
Ghost goes to spread your thighs, before pausing, awaiting Price's directions like a dutiful dog.
You never thought you'd see the day.
"She's wet enough," Price shrugs, taking another drag of his cigar. "Fuck 'er."
Oh, fuck.
He wasn't lying, you were soaking, something about the fear unknowingly having your inner thighs sticky and core aching to be filled.
But... not getting prepped? At all?
Ghost makes a surprised grunt of a noise, pausing for a moment, before recollecting his senses and unbuckling his pants.
Oh. Fuck.
He's really, properly following Price's directions, like the man had demanded. The guilt was eating all of you alive, and that festered in Simon's actions.
His deep brown eyes flick to yours, before he unzips his fly with one hand, gaze not moving from yours. There's slight apology in them, only a hint, before he leans down to spit on your cunt.
You inhale a sharp breath at the act, squeezing your eyes shut as his dick presses against your heat, rubbing against it slightly.
Then, he pushes in -- it makes you cry out, breath hitching as the tip enters. It's a tight fit, but he continues to push in, and it's almost as if you can feel the intrusion, the pressure in your chest.
"So you can follow orders, huh?" Price quips, almost nastily, and it has you shuddering as Ghost's hips finally flush against your own. You don't think you've ever taken any of them without foreplay, and it's a special form of torture. The pressure is almost too much, his cock filling you up so much.
Simon's head hangs between his shoulders, muscles tense as he stares down at you, the epitome of self-restraint.
He always was the most controlling one, the most calculating.
Not today, however.
That title easily belongs to Price, who merely relaxes further into his seat, as if he wasn't just mere feet away from the two of you.
"I said fuck her, Riley. Not stand there and keep it warm."
He's so fucking. He's fucking cruel about this, fully willing and wanting to make this hurt. It's so completely unlike the man you love, and it's psychologically damning in a way nothing else could be.
But, like directed, Simon fucks you.
He stops trying to be kind about it, stops wallowing in guilt. It's rough, forceful, urgent, unlike the way he usually liked to savour your pleasure, your pain. He usually delighted in the smooth, deep strokes, prolonging the passionate act almost vindictively.
No. Now, it's quick, punishing thrusts, and your head falls back and little moans escape your throat.
It's like you've both forgotten that Soap and Gaz sit on the couch, watching, waiting. Price has likely made it that way on purpose, to make them envy the attention you and Ghost are getting.
"Fuck," you moan, tits bouncing as Simon continues to fuck you relentlessly, harsh in his movements.
"Does he feel good?" Price is standing, and when you open glassy eyes, it's to see his face looking down at you. If you had the mind to, you'd flinch under his criticizing expression. "Answer me."
You nod, shakily, and when his brows narrow, you rush out a verbal response. "Yes, yes, he does!"
Price hums a noncommittal sound, before his hand slides down your stomach, leaving your hairs to stand on end, before his fingers reach your clit. In tight circles, he has you on the edge almost immediately, and you cry out.
"Gonna fuckin' cum," Ghost grunts, voice low as his eyes clench tight.
"Aww, you two close?" Your captain's voice is gruff, all too condescending, and just before you can find your release, his hand leaves your clit, and wraps around Ghost's neck. He leans into his ear, and his whisper is loud enough for everyone to hear. "Pull out."
Simon makes a noise suspiciously close to a whimper, and it's so unlike him that it has your eyes opening wide, before he does just as Price ordered.
He pulls out.
"Seriously?" You groan, filter eviscerated like your high was. You lean up, using your elbows for leverage.
Price raises one brow, before scratching at his beard almost absent-mindedly. "Got a complaint, sergeant?"
You shake your head, lightning quick, like a puppet on a string.
That's what you were right now -- what all of you were. Just puppets in whatever acts Price wanted to see you all star in.
It's exhilarating in the worst of ways.
"Soap, Gaz," Price snaps once more, and Ghost is nothing more than a neglected mutt. Which, really, is almost funny considering the amount of times the man teases you, Soap and Gaz about such a comment. You couldn't count the amount of times he's compare you three to 'needy puppies'.
Now, he was nothing more than that, and you wish you could enjoy that fact more.
The two men adhere to the command, radiating nervous energy as they stand to attention, not unlike they would if they were in a standard military unit.
"Gaz, take her mouth," Price demands, before his hand buries in the short hair near the nape of Soap's head with a mean grip, meant to hurt. Soap barely hides a whine as Price tugs him, forcing the man to his knees as if he's nothing more than the mutt Ghost usually refers to him as. "You, lick 'er clean."
You realise, then, what exactly this is.
It's truly a display of power. Of control. Because you four took that away from him on the field, unrightfully so. There truly is thought behind his anger, his pain.
It only makes the ache in your heart burn, makes it bruise and bleed where the shattered pieces cut and embed into the innerworkings of your body.
This 'training' won't make up for what you four pulled. Not in the slightest.
But it's something to let John get some of his emotions out, in a somewhat healthier way than you lot usually resorted to.
You'd always offer your support, offer yourself, and he knows that.
He's deliberately taking away that option for you, taking control to comfort the side of him that is so deeply ingrained, so deeply relied on for him to live.
You love him. So effortlessly.
Those words remain accurate, even as Johnny first licks over your wet pussy, and Kyle's dick bumps against your lips.
Opening your mouth without a thought, Kyle's tip slips in, his pre-cum salty on your tongue as you flatten your tongue against it. Johnny's as enthusiastic as ever, maybe even more than usual, as he delegates all of his attention to your aching warmth.
John's grip doesn't release from Johnny's hair, shoving his closer against you, and the sight is so hot that you wish you could fully, properly enjoy it.
Another time, when you're all in better spots, happy and unapologetic, you'll ask them to re-enact the scene.
Johnny moans against your pussy, hands coming up to grip at your bare thighs, and you just know there'll be finger-shaped bruises come tomorrow morning. He's always been unaware of his strength, not understanding the proper damage he can inflict, especially in the bedroom. It's attractive as all hell.
"Yeah? She taste good, hm?" John nearly snarls, and you let out a drawn out moan at the pleasure and words. The sound is muffled by Kyle pushing in deeper, having you almost gagging on his length.
Your eyes flutter shut at the onslaught of feelings, but even with no sight, you can feel Simon's eyes on you like a physical weight.
You know what position he's in, without having to look. Leaning against the wall with a furious expression, large arms folded over his bulky chest. Maybe he's pulled off his mask, maybe it's just been hooked over his crooked nose.
"Fuck, cap," Kyle groans, bucking into your throat. "So fuckin' good--"
Johnny muffles a whine as his efforts nearly double, and you swear spots colour the darkness of your vision. You're already there, and it's not like you can say anything, with Kyle abusing your mouth like this.
"She's close, ain't she, Johnny? Feel her clenchin' on your tongue?" John taunts, and you can feel Johnny nod against your core, nose brushing your clit as he does.
John huffs a cruel laugh, before he abruptly pulls Johnny away by the scruff of his neck. You can't help by buck up, searching for touch, but none comes.
"Kyle," John's tone is one requiring no resistance, and with a shaky exhale, Kyle pulls out of your mouth, a string of spit clinging to his dick, before snapping and leaving your cheek covered with a line of it.
You shakily open your eyes, your pussy begging for a release, knowing that you won't get one. Not yet.
"You make a mess, you clean it up," John says.
So, Kyle leans down, his tongue licking over the spit trail, and really it should be disgusting.
Instead, it only makes you wetter.
Your thighs incessantly shake, no hint of stopping as your body aches. The emotional turmoil, mixed with the physical kind -- it's a concoction for torture.
With half-lidded eyes, you watch as John forces Johnny's head in between your breasts, pressing his face into them. It must be almost suffocating, but Johnny manages to whine as you feel John's hand wrap around Johnny's dick, positioning it against your twitching hole.
"Rut into her," John orders, before stepping back.
Johnny does just that -- he thrusts in, bottoming out with one push. Your moan sounds too alike to a squeal at the stretch, the sudden intrusion. Your arms wrap around his back, nails scratching lines down Johnny's back as he thrusts into you almost manically. You're sure that you're drawing blood, but it only seems to encourage the man rutting into you further, his thrusts urgent and feral.
"Jesus christ," someone -- you're sure it's Kyle -- murmurs, and you suddenly want to know what you must look like from a spectator. Ruined, probably.
Your breaths are harried as you feel yourself getting close once more, tears burning at the corner of your vision at the pure need coursing through your veins.
"Please," you whimper, squeezing like a vice around Johnny's dick. "Please, oh god."
"Now you want me to make decisions? Let you two cum?" There's a hand in your hair, and in any other situation, it'd be calming.
Currently, it feels like a thinly veiled threat.
"Please, John, 'm so sorry, please," you beg, eyes blurry as you look up into the man's stormy blue eyes.
Usually, they're comparable to a calm ocean, the beach mid-summer.
Now, they're akin to the darkest of storms, the ones sailors whisper about, the ones that haunt them while they're asleep at sea. Ones that cause shipwrecks to wash up on shores, ones that cause stories to be passed between campers on the scariest of nights.
"Now you're sorry, sweetheart?" And, oh, there's a sliver of the warmth you've come to crave, and it almost has you melting where you lay.
You're so close, you can taste it on your tongue, and your moans get louder, needier, more frantic --
"Stop, Johnny."
Tears fall, then. Hot and heavy down your cheeks, leaving sticky tracks in their wake. Hiccups fall from your lips as you sob from the deprevation.
Johnny whines, head drooped low as he stops, and you can feel him pulse inside of you, both of you at your wits' end.
"You follow orders so well in this room, don't you?" John says. The voice of a captain.
It's almost your last straw. The devastation is too great, the mix of physical and emotion stress weighing on you heavily.
"'M so sorry, shoulda listened," you cry, body trembling.
"John, please, we're sorry," Kyle insists, a furrow between his dark brows where he takes a step closer to you and Johnny.
Simon, although silent, is also closer to you both now than he had been, no longer stood against the wall.
Your boys -- they're so inherently protective, and it's such a nice feeling. No matter how guilty they feel, how genuinely sorry, they can't stand to see you or Johnny so weak, so vulnerable.
Love. You love them, in a way words can never describe.
John exhales. A deep, thoughtful one.
"We're talking about this, after we're all cleaned up," he says. It's the first hint of himself that you've heard tonight, and the relief is like an intoxicating drug.
It's like even the room itself takes a deep breath, dispelling of some of the tension lining every inch of it.
"Off 'er," John snaps his fingers, and Johnny pulls out with a small whimper, head still hung low.
Grabbing your hips, John flips you over, making you bend so your face is to the desk and your ass is in the air. His large hand presses against your lower back, bending you into an arch.
He slides in, and it's an easy entry. You don't think you've been more wet in your life, and gods, you need it.
Setting a ruthless pace immediately, every thrust forces a whimper, a moan, a whine out of your mouth, eyes dazed as your cheek presses against the wood. His hand fists into your hair, forcing your head to face the three men stood side by side, watching you both with a flurry of emotions behind heavy stares.
"Feel so fuckin' good, christ," John seethes, his grip tightening in your hair, causing your moan to become louder as it leaves your lips.
It isn't long before you're at that cliff once more, begging for a final push, just so you can reach that finish you ache for.
"Gonna, fuck, please, let me cum, John, I love you, I'm so sorry," your words aren't fully your own, and they come out in a desperate plea.
"Yeah? My girl gonna cum for me? Needy slut."
Those words are your undoing, your nirvana.
You cum, body strung tight as tears fall down your cheeks once more, your vision nearly blacking out with the strength of your orgasm. It's almost painful, the stimulation altogether too much, and not enough.
John finishes not long after, his cum filling you up with a loud groan from him.
He releases his fist in your hair, and you head falls to the desk, body slumping with the final release of pleasure.
Stroking a smoothing hand down your back, he pulls out, and you can feel his seed leaking down your thighs. You must be a sight -- all worn out and dripping with the white liquid.
"We don't getta cum?" Johnny whines, and you can hear the roll of Simon's eyes.
There's a hand stroking stray hairs off of your face, and from the texture and size of the limb you can tell it's Kyle.
"You won't get to tomorrow, either, if you keep tha' up," Price mutters, and you let out a delusional giggle at his words. You're cum-drunk, almost, from how drawn out your orgasm had been.
"We really are sorry, Cap," Kyle murmurs genuinely, and the hurt is a sharp barb on his tongue. "You know we love you, didn't mean to hurt you."
John releases a long, worn-out breath. "I know that. I do. But you're a bunch of reckless muppets 'nd you fuckin' went too far today. I'm your captain, lover or not."
"We'll talk it over later," Simon states, and you can't help but agree with the sentiment.
You will. And it'll be a painful conversation, but one that you all owe to your captain.
Because, at the end of the day, you four would do anything for the man that you love. That includes the tough words, the difficult exchanges.
John presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, and with complete certainty, you're sure that you're all going to be okay.