Chapter Text
Vfgbbekzh's feed
shirtlessghemlordoftheday:
[image of a shirtless blond ghem-lord, looking alluring amidst a large collection of lit candles and red rose leaves]
22, Sigma Ceta, first published in Aesthetically Pleasing Images for the Consumption of Women
hello-soldier:
Second chapter of the epic up! In this one, Cordelia has already conquered the heart (and dick) of Lord Vorkosigan with her superb skills with restraints. However, there is still the matter of a mutiny to take care of. Luckily, Barrayaran ships have lots of rope!
LINK → Captain Cordelia and the Perilous Planets / Writefiction.net
what-i-wrote:
real people
LINK → BDSM for Beginners and Other Helpful Books
The Countess Vorkosigan has given the Imperial couple a number of intriguing Betan books. They set out to try the practices mentioned
vorboring-people:
I ventured into the Cetagandan real people stuff on the Archive and it's all either rapefic set during the War or factually incorrect porn of Dag Benin. I am disappointed. *sighs*
(Really, half the fics have Benin being unmarried as a major plot point, whereas half a minute on the Imperial Encyclopedia Online would reveal that he's married to a scary blonde lady called Anya, who may or may not be a prole. Then again, the fics seem to have done all their research by watching those bizarre Betan pornos. They are … inaccurate, to say the least.)
impsex-official:
Hello! I am a side blog for collecting all of the Archive stuff on ImpSec guys banging.
vorthalia-the-italic:
@vorboring-people WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS I WANT TO WOO YOU WITH PORNOGRAPHY
vorboring-people:
@vorthalia-the-italic I like breathplay, and power differentials, and restraints, and accurately done research. (You know Fellis' All the Earths? The book that was basically one long infodump on biology? I liked it! A lot!)
Stuff I don't like: orgies and threesomes (I find reading about them a bit confusing, and keep overthinking the logistics), heterosexual stuff (two men is nice, two women is nice, I have no idea how herms fit in), embarrassment (I get secondhand embarrassment like whoah)
vorthalia-the-italic:
@vorboring-people … A Ferya breathplay captive!fic porn piece that starts with 3k of detailed description of how Barrayaran plant life reacted to the Cetagandan imports?
vorboring-people:
@vorthalia-the-italic I would LOVE YOU FOREVER <3
the-emperor-has-a-nice-ass:
[collage of close-ups on the Imperial behind]
Oh, Greggie <3
emperorshirtfree:
[a photograph of the Emperor, shirtless, riding, that has obviously been formed by taking a photograph of a man riding shirtless and overlaying the Emperor's face on it]
feryarules:
Warning for major character death
LINK → The Cycle of Victory / The Archive
Fer Kaiok has to prove his loyalty to his Haut masters. By killing Vortalon.
ferya-vortaiok:
@feryarules NOOOOO vanya D: HOW COULD YOU KILL HIM????
vorboring-people:
@feryarules I liked the poem cycle at the end, it was very convincingly Cetagandan!
vorthalia-the-italic:
@feryarules :'( Poor Vanya
dagthecurious:
guys isn't ghem-general benin very shippable? he's not married or anything, either
just think about him & vorkosigan's cat. in an orgy. with both empresses.
vorboring-people:
Okay, here's the Ceta-centric piece I promised a while ago, now that no-one will notice it with all the deathfic wank:
LINK → The Red of Blood / The Archive
Fer Kaiok, surviving amidst his superiors. Coming up with excuses for why he gets captured so often. Trying not to know anything that would aid Vortalon. Trying to find out everything that could aid Vortalon. Being very confused by himself.
vortalon4ever:
@feryarules I don't understand why everyone in the fandom is so obsessed with Ferya, but killing Vortalon was a dick move, yanno? (Yes, even the Xavya fen are obsessed with the Ferya 'ship. The hateboner is strong with those ones.)
Anyway, here's some fanart of Vortalon and his stunner: @vorthalia-the-italic
[image series of Vortalon kissing his stunner and then using it as a dildo]
impsex-official:
By WatchingTheWatchers:
LINK → Change of Guard / The Archive
Captain Illyan is requested to pass some practical advice on to General Allegre. The desk inspires some nostalgia. And sex.
vorthalia-the-italic:
@vortalon4ever FANART YAY! :)
impsec-official:
@emperorshirtfree We have removed your “photograph”.
feryarules:
Oh god I never expected for my fic to cause wank on the anon meme. Here, have a second chapter:
LINK → The Cycle of Victory / The Archive
Fer Kaiok has to prove his loyalty to his Haut masters. By killing Vortalon.
vorboring-people:
@feryarules WHAT WHY HOW why is Vanya still alive??? I mean, the sex scene is nice, but ?????
vorthalia-the-italic:
@feryarules I'm afraid that you'll forever be the subject of anon meme wank, especially with the 180 you pulled with chapter two. Enjoy your fame! (infamy?)
ferya-vortaiok:
@feryarules THEY'RE TOGETHER AND MARRIED ON BETA YAY
deadchickens:
where did this ferya wank come from and why has is taken over both anon memes
vorboring-people:
I made some tea. Black with orange and vanilla flavoring, called “First Light of Dawn”.
[image of black ceramic teapot with black tea in it]
hello-soldier:
In chapter three, Cordelia is new on Barrayar, trying to adjust to life as Lady Vorkosigan, wife of the Lord Regent. The Dowager Princess is mourning her husband, and the Count is somewhat baffled by his Betan daughter-in-law.
There is only one solution: a BDSM orgy!
LINK → Captain Cordelia and the Perilous Planets / Writefiction.net
vorthalia-the-italic:
Had a long conversation w/ @vorboring-people with messaging, the result of which is this short:
LINK → It's Raining Ghem / The Archive
Five times that Fer Kaiok quite literally dropped in on Vanya Vortalon
vorboring-people:
Okay, The Red of Blood has decided to be part one of a trilogy that will be called “The Imperial Array”
deadchickens:
I hate the flu
shirtlessghemlordoftheday:
[image of dark-haired shirtless ghem-lord handcuffed to the wall, looking wrecked]
29, Eta Ceta, first published in Gazette of Male Aesthetics
dagthecurious:
I wrote a thing
LINK → Thy Smol Barrayaran / Writefiction.net
During the Celestial Handmaiden's funeral, ghem-Colonel Benin meets an intriguing Barrayaran. Lemon. Please R&R
vorthalia-the-italic:
@vorboring-people Would you like some consolation porn? I dug through writefiction.net and found this one. It features actual grammar! (Don't read the comments, it's full of teenage boys going all “OMG you wrote PORN with TWO MEN”.)
Summary: Vortalon captures Kaiok, after which his lines of communication are all shattered due to the extreme rain. They have to feed themselves. The sex comes along organically and is mainly vanilla. It's looooong, so you have multiple sex scenes for your perusal.
LINK → My Heart is a Fish, Hiding in the Watergrass / Writefiction.net
vorboring-people:
@vorthalia-the-italic Thank you :3
hello-soldier:
In chapter four, Vidal Vordarian starts his war. This is a Problem. Captain Cordelia decides to solve it with a BDSM orgy!
LINK → Captain Cordelia and the Perilous Planets / Writefiction.net
vorboring-people:
Here's part two of The Imperial Array
LINK → The White of Bone / The Archive
Fer Kaiok, observing what his comrades are doing to the locals. Arguing morality with his fellow ghem-Lieutenants. Entertaining doubts.
what-i-wrote:
real people
LINK → Loyalty / The Archive
Ezar did always have to go to the most bizarre lengths to claim Piotr's loyalty – from the Occupation-era Dendarii mountains as his apprentice, to the Imperial Residence as his liege
deadchickens:
Why I Hate Vortalon Fandom
Please take your Ferya vs Xavya wank elsewhere. Both ships are dirtybadwrong by at least one metric, and the incessant ship wars are nasty. No, I don't care about canon evidence. I want you to TAKE IT OFF THE ANON MEMES. Make your own anon meme, idc. Or just don't wank. You're already segregated, why can't the Xavya fen stay on their IvanXav comm and the Ferya fen stay on Stumbl? Agh, I want to discuss shitposts and Winterfair letterwank.
impsex-official:
By WatchingTheWatchers:
LINK → Loyalty / The Archive
Lieutenant Illyan has just returned from Illyrica, the only survivor of the memory chip implantation. Captain Negri must ensure his loyalty. Enter drugs, torture, and sex.
vorboring-people:
I should sleep, but I have part three of my triptych half-done @vorthalia-the-italic halp
vorthalia-the-italic:
@vorboring-people ((hugs)) write it!
shirtlessghemlordoftheday:
[image of a shirtless pale ghem-lord with auburn hair lying on the forest floor]
26, Sigma Ceta, first published in Aesthetics of Male Offspring
vorboring-people:
I FINISHED IT AAA now off to sleep
LINK → The Black of Justice / The Archive
Fer Kaiok observes one abuse too many, and cannot support the invading forces. How are murder and rape supposed to aid and civilize a long-lost planet? There is only the problem of convincing Lord Vortalon of his true intentions…
impsex-official:
By WatchingTheWatchers:
LINK → Vorkosigan's Dog / The Archive
Aral Vorkosigan grabbed all the strings in Captain Illyan that Negri's death left hanging. Being puppeted by Vorkosigan is surprisingly nice – especially after some words of encouragement from his wife.
INTERNAL MEMO
From: Lt Jean Vortala [assigned peruser of all fiction involving real ImpSec personnel]
To: Cpt Leon Fossyf, Lt Aleksandr Felkin
Subject: [URGENT] Potential security leak
Hello,
You have probably come across the username “WatchingTheWatchers” in my reports. Apart from a witty style and disturbingly accurate knowledge of human anatomy, the user in question includes alarmingly accurate anecdotes of ImpSec security procedures and the internal structure of ImpSec HQ.