Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time it happens takes Seokmin by surprise.

It was a typical Friday night, or, as typical as his were for a college-age introvert like him. Seokmin had originally planned to spend it with the lovely company of himself—maybe Mingyu too, though he figured his much more extroverted, social butterfly roommate probably already had more exciting plans. Ones that didn’t include watching romance dramas and drinking cheap soju on their equally cheap couch. He was proven right, too, when Mingyu had walked out of his bedroom in a slutty little outfit, face a horrible mix of pleading and bashful. Seokmin’s throat had dried up while his heart splintered in two. He knew what that outfit meant, what that look meant.

“I texted Hao! He said to just message him whenever you’re on your way.” 

“Why can’t you ever hook up with these people at their places.” Seokmin grumbles, over-exaggerating it in an effort to cover up his own heartbreak. He hates when Mingyu goes out. It always ends with him sexiling Seokmin, the boy holing up in Minghao’s tiny dorm while the smaller pets through his hair and wipes away his tears.

The penultimate life tip: don’t fall in love with your best friend. 

“What if they try and kill me, Seok?! Then I can’t escape! We’ve been over this.” Mingyu’s whine is equal parts devastating and aggravating. Seokmin shoots him a glare that only makes him pout harder. God, he wishes he could kiss the shape away. The thought only turns his mouth even more bitter.

“They could kill you just as easily in our apartment.” He argues just to argue. Mingyu’s entire being deflates, exasperation leaving in a huff of breath. Seokmin rolls his eyes.

“And anyways, this is different ! I’m meeting up with someone, not just for a hookup but for a date. I’ve been talking to this guy for a week.” 

Seokmin shifts uneasily on the couch, heart dropping into his stomach. Well. That’s news. News the other didn’t care to share with him until this very moment. He never even told Seokmin he was going back on the apps. He’d thought they had an understanding after the last disaster, the one with the month-long depressive spiral and drinking binge. 

Seemingly reading his mind, Mingyu holds his hands up. “I didn’t meet him on an app, I swear! He um…gave me his number when I went to get coffee the other day.” Mingyu’s voice squeaks up at the end. Seokmin’s mouth slams open.

“You’re hooking up with that smarmy-ass barista?! The one that’s been hitting on you for months? What happened to ‘nah his face is too dumb for me, he looks like his brain is made out of protein shakes and barbells’?!” Seokmin throws the boy’s past statements back at him in a mockery of his voice. Mingyu sputters, groaning and stomping his way to the door. Seokmin stomps right after him, cornering him where he’s pulling his jacket off the coat rack.

“I’m lonely , okay?” Mingyu sighs, glaring and pouting alike. Seokmin freezes, rant dying on his tongue. Suddenly, his mind is a blur of deprecating thoughts, the types he fights down while he’s alone in bed, blinking tears into the darkness. 

If Mingyu’s so lonely, why doesn’t he come to him? What do all these people, these strangers have that he doesn’t? He knows he isn’t the most conventionally attractive but he still thinks he’s decent enough. And him and Mingyu always have so much fun together, don’t they? They’ve been best friends for two years now, clicking instantly in their god-awful freshman year mathematics prerequisite. They decided to share an apartment this year for fuckssake! 

Why can’t it be him? 

“Well. I hope it works out then.” It’s all he can manage, overwhelming sadness tightening his throat. Mingyu falters, obviously thrown by the sudden change in demeanor. He opens his mouth, question on his tongue. Seokmin moves farther away before he can voice it, going back to the blanket pile he’d made on the couch. He uses their softness like armor, burying his weakened heart beneath the fabric and clicking his drama back on. Mingyu lingers by the door.

“Just. Text me when you’re on your way back from the club. I’m not going to third wheel Hao and Jun-hyung any longer than necessary. I’ll leave then.”

Again, that same look of question passes over Mingyu’s face, opening his mouth and furrowing his brows. He seemingly swallows it back, mumbling some sound of assent and leaving within the next moment. 

Seokmin lets the first tear fall once the door slams shut.

~~~

Seokmin hadn’t meant to fall in love with Mingyu. Hell, for the first three months of their friendship he’d sworn up and down the other was straight. That changed pretty quickly the first time he’d braved a club with him and Minghao. Oh yes, that particular idea flew out the window the second he spotted Mingyu on the dance floor with a man’s tongue down his throat.

After that, his feelings were uncontrollable. Suddenly, the dream of having a shot with the other was seemingly attainable. Their friendship grew closer, deeper. They cuddled during movie nights, held hands during crowded house parties--under the guise of not losing one another. They spent nights laying side-by-side on Mingyu’s cramped full-size bed, entire length of their bodies touching while they talked about every and anything. Talked about all the things they’d never felt comfortable sharing with anyone else. 

Seokmin had thought something was there. Then Minjoon came around.

He was older, taller, buffer. He was everything Seokmin would never be. And it was devastating.

Mingyu had met him on some dating app, the decision to join spurred on by Minghao’s success story, the boy meeting his beloved Junhui hyung on there a month prior.

One of the things Seokmin had learned about Mingyu early on: the boy was a romantic. Not many people would guess it by looking at him. That height, that face, that body , wanting something beyond hooking up as often as possible? Superfluous. 

But Seokmin knew the truth. Seokmin saw the way the other would cry during romance movies, would smile at older couples at restaurants, fairs, the park. Heard him ask ‘isn’t that sweet?’, strong finger pointed at an ajumma and ajussi sitting side-by-side, feeding ducks by the pond. 

Problem is, when you’re in college and look like Mingyu, everyone assumes you just want to fuck. Doesn’t help that the biggest ways to meet people are at drunken parties. Seokmin really should have seen him joining a dating app as inevitable.

Didn’t make it any easier to accept.

For one, he was absolutely heartbroken. He’d allowed himself to hope for a bit, that the reason Mingyu’d never went on any dates was because he was waiting for Seokmin to ask him on one. And Seokmin had been planning it, had been working up the courage while exasperating the fuck out of Minghao in tandem. He just wanted to do it right. Plus, he was so worried about the risk of rejection and the even bigger risk of ruining their friendship. So he was taking his time, slowly crafting the plan. 

It all turned to dust before it could be brought to fruition.

Even worse? Minjoon turned out to be an absolute dickhead. Seokmin hated him. Minghao hated him. God himself probably hated him. After all, anyone who treats someone as sweet as Mingyu so badly can only be evil. 

Problem was, Mingyu was smitten. And with the rose-colored glasses of affection came the absolute obliviousness to Minjoon’s shit behavior. He was so quick to wave off his friends’ concerns, to excuse every snide comment, every fight the older picked with him. 

And the thing with people like Minjoon, is once they know they have someone so naive, so trusting, they figure they can get away with anything. So of course he cheated on him. Because people like that are never satisfied, never care about another person’s feelings, only their own. 

Seokmin had keyed his car. Minghao had helped. Mingyu never found out, thank fuck. Probably had something to do with the way Minghao cornered the douche, blindsiding him with strength that seemed too big for his lithe figure. He’d nearly pissed his pants when Minghao pounced. Seokmin glared over his shoulder while Hao threatened him within an inch of his life. Minjoon had promised to stay away from Mingyu, swore up and down he wouldn’t so much as glance his way ever again. Minghao had let him scamper down the alleyway like a scared little dog.

And then came the months of picking up every shattered piece of their friend. Seokmin did most of the heavy lifting, holding Mingyu, letting him snuffle into his shoulder. He’d eased him away from the bottle, sometimes physically. He’d urged him to shower, to go to class, to eat. It’d taken days, weeks, months , but Seokmin had broken him out of the funk.

He still remembers the first time he heard Mingyu laugh post-breakup. Can still feel the way his heart skipped ten beats in a row right after. Seokmin had never felt more accomplished in his life.

After that was a string of hookups spanning nearly a year. Each one threw another contusion into his already ecchymotic heart. Despite it all, Seokmin never regretted getting the boy out of his slump, even when he wished things turned out differently.

Each new face, new night sexiled, left him with the same question: ‘why not me?’ And, it's not like he’s narcissistic. It isn’t like he believes Mingyu should view him that way. But there’s no denying the connection they have. No denying the way all their friends share looks whenever they’re together, ask Seokmin in private why he hasn’t ‘made a move yet’, or, even worse, the ones that don’t know them as well assuming they’re already together. 

Slowly, he’d learned to live with the one-night-stands. Had even gained some of his own. But the ache never dissipated, the feelings never faltered. 

But now? Now the idea of Mingyu in another relationship serves to drive him nearly insane. 

At least he has Minghao to hold him.

~~~

With the system they’ve created, Seokmin’s gotten into a routine. Mingyu texts him when he’s on the way back with his hookup, Seokmin trudges his way across the street to Hao and Jun’s dorm, then tries to sleep for a bit while valiantly blocking out the quiet kiss sounds of the couple across from him. Then he waits for Mingyu’s ‘all clear’ text to come. 

It’d started a few weeks into his hookup train. After finding out how fitfully Seokmin sleeps at Minghao’s, his face had shuttered over with a guilt so severe it was nearly palpable. He’d promised then, to let Seokmin know when it was safe to return no matter how exhausted he was (Seokmin had ignored the sick feeling that particular comment gave him). At first, Seokmin had waved away the offer. He’d rather chop off his own foot than potentially run into whatever dude Mingyu’d spent the night with. Or so he thought. Until Mingyu started going out more and more—meaning more nights cramped onto Minghao’s bed while the boy and Jun ‘surreptitiously’ made out a mere six feet away on the older’s bed. He’d put up with it for another week before the lack of full sleep started to make his grades suffer, his theater performances suffer. In the end it took one more night for him to finally give in and start going back to the apartment following Mingyu’s text. 

Tonight though, he’s slowly getting pushed further to the edge the longer time spans. He checks the clock on his phone again. It’s been nearly three hours now. Mingyu never goes this long without sending him the okay to return. Was the dude that good, giving him some mind-blowing sex marathon? The thought burns heavy and hot in his mind.

Seokmin gives it another hour before caving into his anxiety, ducking under the blanket and shooting off a text to the boy in question. ‘Good yet? More time?’ is what he musters up. He squints into the darkness when, a moment later, his phone lights up with a call.

“Gyu?” Seokmin whispers into the receiver. On the other side of the room, the sheets rustle. Seokmin unfurls from his blanket burrito to meet confused eyes with Minghao in the phone-illuminated darkness. 

“S-seok.” His heart drops then picks back up again in a worryingly fast pulse. Why does Mingyu sound like that? Why does he sound sad? Is he hurt? Is Seokmin going to have to go to prison for murder tonight? 

“Gyu? What’s wrong?” He rushes, already halfway to the door. Jumping on one foot, he tugs his sneaker on with his phone pressed between ear and shoulder. He shoots Minghao a look that he hopes conveys ‘will explain later’. Judging by the other’s nod, it does. Minghao waves him away with furrowed brows and a frown. 

“N-nothing.” Mingyu finally answers. It doesn’t really matter anyway, Seokmin’s almost to the entryway door of their apartment building by that point. Still, the boy’s “Can you just come back?” that’s practically whimpered out doesn’t make him feel the slightest bit better.

Taking the stairs two at a time (because fuck trying to deal with their slow-ass elevator right now), Seokmin’s panting when he keys open their door and slams inside. 

Mingyu’s sitting up when he reaches him, looking impossibly small in his swath of blankets. He’s still shirtless, maybe even more. Seokmin’s too worried over the glisten to his eyes to spare a single fuck, rushing to the bed in milliseconds.

“Don’t wanna be alone.” Mingyu whispers. It’s all Seokmin needs, nodding and climbing clumsily into the bed. He doesn’t try to breach the covers, can still smell the stench of sweat and sex in the air. God, did Mingyu even clean up? Seokmin doesn’t like this at all.

“What happened?” He blurts. Wrong move. The grate of his tone visibly startles the other, Mingyu curling even more into himself. Seokmin tsks, coos while he grabs for him with gentle hands. Mingyu flinches at the first touch then leans completely into it, falling into the cradle of his arms like he’s a man caught in a desert and Seokmin’s a clear blue pond. 

With him closer like this, Seokmin can spot small areas of dried cum on the middle of his body. He holds back the wave of emotions threatening to drown him. Mingyu’s clear distress is a good enough distraction.

“N-nothing. Not really.” He tacks on at Seokmin’s look of skepticism. “We just had sex. And then he left.” 

“He didn’t even clean you up?” He can’t hold it back. Mingyu flinches, whimpers. The sound cracks clear through Seokmin’s heart. 

“No…” he mumbles so quietly Seokmin has to strain to hear it. “He said he had an early class, asked if I could ‘handle it myself’ and I said yes.”

“Mingyu…”

“It was really good though! I-I mean, up until that point.” Seokmin gapes into the grey of the room. He doesn’t like the sound of that. It almost sounds like—

“So you want to see him again.” It’s less question and more accusation. Mingyu sits silent for a moment, then nods. Seokmin holds back a scoff while his heart finally dissects. Will he ever recover from this?

“You gotta clean up, Gyu.” He gets out after another lapse of quiet. Mingyu whines.

“Too weak.” He claims. Seokmin swallows down bile, snorts out a humorless laugh, and disentangles himself from the love of his life that’ll never belong to him.

Mingyu gives a grateful little grin when he returns, shaky hand grabbing the warm washcloth. Seokmin leaves him to it while he rifles through his drawers, brandishing the boy’s softest pajamas, the ones he knows are his favorite despite being printed with cartoon rabbits. Mingyu doesn’t fight it, just wiggles here and there in the bed to tug them on. Seokmin pointedly turns away when he pulls down the sheets to do the bottoms. 

Mingyu makes a sound to let him know he can look again and Seokmin does. The taller’s back under the blankets, pink-cheeked even in the moonlit room. Seokmin nods, mostly to himself. 

He plans to leave then, is already making his way to the door, when Mingyu whines out a desperate little “Wait!”. Seokmin blinks over at him. He already has a feeling of what the other wants. It’s confirmed when Mingyu pulls down the other side of the comforter, pats the empty space. “Please” he tacks on. 

As if Seokmin could ever refuse him anything. No matter how much it hurts.

He falls asleep like that, a fitful one plagued with dreams that make his chest cave in. Mingyu’s locked into his arms the entire time, warm weight pressed into him while his breath puffs hot against his collarbone, across his neck. 

When Seokmin wakes, the other’s already gone from bed. He follows the scent of coffee into their tiny kitchen, stares at the taller. Mingyu hands him a fresh omelet, plated like something straight out of a Michelin-star restaurant and smiles like nothing is different. Maybe it isn’t, to him. 

Seokmin eats, blinks, breathes. Waits, mouth full of home cooked food with the taste of love seasoning it, for the other to bring up last night. He never does. 

Seokmin goes to class in a fog.

~~~

It keeps happening.

Mingyu continues to see Dating App Man. Seokmin eventually learns his name is Beomseok. Though that’s really all he learns. Mingyu is strangely gatekeeping him. Seokmin can’t say he likes that.

“If you complain about him one more time—“

“But Hao, he keeps leaving Mingyu alone! And Mingyu never talks about him. I don’t even know his age .”

“Seokmin—“

All he knows is it seems him and Mingyu have a strictly sex-based relationship. The man never takes him anywhere, barely contacts him before five PM, and turns tail and runs right after they’re finished doing god-knows-what. And then he leaves the other alone. Alone, cum-stained, and sad . And guess who keeps having to pick up the pieces?

Even more, each time seems to leave the boy worse off than the one before. The first time Seokmin comes back to Mingyu full-fledged sobbing in his bed he plots out an entire murder scheme in his head. 

After a handful of times of the same thing, Seokmin finally wrestles an explanation from the other. 

“We—the sex is…is rough.” Mingyu mumbles into the dark. Seokmin had just spent an entire hour muffling the boy’s sobs into his shoulder, another cleaning him up—this time on his own, he has no idea how he managed to wipe Mingyu’s limp, cum-wet dick without exploding—and another cuddling him in bed, all while Seokmin seethed silently. One more sniffle from Mingyu was all it took for him to snap, a “What the fuck is really going on, Mingyu?” bursting free before he could stop it. He’d felt terrible, seeing the shocked hurt on the taller’s face. He’d rushed out an apology, cooed and pulled the boy closer. Mingyu’s frown left the second his palms cupped both sides of his face. Seokmin fights not to drop them at the boy’s answer. His stomach is suddenly a mess of things—indignation, concern, jealousy . He doesn’t even know if he wants to talk about this anymore. 

Still, the thought of being completely in the dark about everything for even more nights to come is enough to spur him on.

“What do you mean ‘rough’?” He asks. The gulp of his throat sounds amplified in the stillness of the room. “Rough in a…good way? Or rough like he’s hurting you?” The murderous glare comes out before he can stop it. Mingyu catches it, giggling a little despite it all. Seokmin jolts when a fingertip presses between his brows, Mingyu trying to smooth out the deep line there. It only works a little. Mingyu drops his hand and pouts.

“Good way? I guess.”

“You guess —“

“Yah, stop with the serial killer stare!” Mingyu whines. Seokmin tries his best to smooth out his face. He thinks it works (it doesn’t). 

“I mean it’s what I ask for. It’s um…like dom and sub stuff.” He mumbles. Seokmin watches him turn bashful, gaze dipping to bore holes into Seokmin’s sleep shirt instead. He lets him, mind too busy racing to care. He had no idea Mingyu was even into that sort of thing. Though should he really be surprised? They may talk about everything with each other but they’ve never once broached the topic of anything sexual. 

He tries not to picture it, he really does. And yet, the image of a whining, tear-streaked Mingyu being pounded relentlessly into the mattress, smacked on the ass, fucking choked , rears through his static-filled head. It’s so sordid, so dark, his stomach drops like he’s on the world’s tallest elevator. He absolutely abhors how his cock twitches. It’s that that finally breaks him from the spell. He blinks back to himself, swallowing under Mingyu’s curious stare. How long has he stayed silent? 

Seokmin glances at the other. Looking closer, he can spot the roughened edges of anxiety gilding the curiosity. Shit. He should probably say something right? And yet his tongue feels superglued to his mouth. 

Eventually Mingyu sighs, tiny, broken, wet. He’s just turning away from him when Seokmin jumps back into action. He refuses to have Mingyu think whatever he’s thinking. And knowing him the way he does, he has an inkling as to what exactly is running through his mind. 

Soft hand to his shoulder, Seokmin gently urges Mingyu back around. He goes so pliantly, easily. The worst part of his brain fires off again, leaving him wondering if that’s how he behaves with his beloved Beomseok. Is he just as obedient? He must be. He’s always doting on everyone, taking care of them. He lives to please. He’s probably the world’s best sub. God, Seokmin could use an entire handle of the world’s strongest vodka right now. 

“Gyu. It’s okay.” He whispers. He can’t bring himself to speak any louder. Everything feels like feathers and eggshells. Press any harder, push any deeper and it’ll all splinter off into pieces. 

Mingyu huffs, obviously skeptical. Seokmin gives a sharp shake of his head. Hand trembling, he reaches it up, runs it through the sweat of Mingyu’s hair. It’s still damp but the softest thing he’s ever touched. Ruffled, sex-worn. He should’ve been the one to muss it up. He should be the one to push Mingyu to the edge and put him back together again. Clearly Beomseok gives zero fucks about aftercare. If Seokmin’s the one performing it, shouldn’t he be the one having all the fun beforehand too?!

He shoves the thought away. It’s easy to, with Mingyu leaning so strongly into his touch. Seokmin’s lips turn up even through his bitterness. “It is.” He insists again. “There’s nothing wrong with liking things.” 

Mingyu blinks open his eyes. Seokmin fights not to drown in the depth of them. His words feel insubstantial even to his own ears. There’s so many things he wants to say yet he can’t muster up any of them. Sighing internally to himself, he decides to default to his tried and true method: humor. 

“Plus”, he starts, “In the world of kinky sex, BDSM is pretty tame. I mean…there’s people that like to dress like babies and shit.” He wrinkles his nose. It has the desired effect, Mingyu snorting, then giggling, then falling to his shoulder, shaking. Seokmin holds him through it, staring unseeingly into the dark room. The laughter’s beautiful but it does nothing to salve over the jagged edges of him. He’s never felt so much devastation in his life. Once again, he wonders, why can’t he be enough?

He can’t keep doing this. It’s what makes him break the embrace, hold Mingyu at arms length. He stares with dark seriousness, the look strong enough to quiet the other. A small frown forms on his face. “Gyu, if the dude knows enough about that type of sex to have it, he should know he needs to perform proper aftercare too. And if he doesn’t, you need to tell him. It’s not good for you psychologically or even physically to keep going through this.” 

Mingyu’s mouth opens, closes, opens again. Eventually he nods, slow and tiny. “I-I know.” he mumbles. He looks back up at him. His eyes are shining, so full of affection it bowls Seokmin over. He reminds himself that it’s platonic. That’s all it’ll ever be. He uses it to stomp the hope in his chest to smithereens. 

“I’ll try and talk to him.” Mingyu claims. Seokmin can already tell he won’t. Mingyu’s an absolutely shit liar, at least when it comes to lying to him. “I’ll try to handle it on my own too.” he breaks their gaze, fingers twisting in the blankets. Seokmin hates the sound of that. 

“I appreciate everything you’ve been doing for me Seokkie. You’re the best.” He breathes. “I don’t deserve you.” 

Seokmin shakes his head over and over even though the other can’t see him. Gently, he cups Mingyu’s cheeks again, urging his face back up. His eyes are glassy when they meet. Seokmin tsks softly, then curves him into his arms. 

“You deserve all the best things Gyu. And if you think i’m one of them, then you deserve me too. I’ll always be here for you. Always.” 

The silence stretches between them. Seokmin can feel the slowness of Mingyu’s breaths. Softly, he lays them both to the sheets. Mingyu stirs when he does, one eye blinking open while he shuffles forward. The round of his nose gets buried in the middle of Seokmin’s chest, close enough to feel even through his teeshirt. Seokmin curls a hand around the back of his head and holds him tight. 

“I love you.” it’s so quiet Seokmin barely makes it out. A part of him wants to write it off as a half-dream, something his stupidly hopeful mind conjured up while he dozed. His heart yells at him for thinking such a thing. 

Seokmin squeezes his eyes tighter and falls fitfully into sleep. 

~~~

“D-do you think i’m pretty?”

Seokmin gapes. He’s never been more thankful that these…whatever they are, occur in the nighttime. At least that way Mingyu misses the absolutely flabbergasted look on his face. 

It isn’t the first time Mingyu’s asked something like this either. Ever since Seokmin’s started taking care of him after his hookups, the boy’s been whispering similar things into the blackness of his room. Last time was more benign though, a simple “Do you think i’m good?” that was far easier for Seokmin to answer. 

Now, his shock has left him silent long enough for Mingyu to squirm. His heart aches when fresh wetness starts falling onto his neck. Seokmin runs his hands over Mingyu’s trembling shoulders. His muscles ripple beneath them. Seokmin’s heartbeat stutters. 

“Mingyu, Gyuie , of course I do.” He responds. “I was just surprised. I was…starting to fall asleep.” He lies. He’s sure Mingyu knows he’s lying too but he doesn’t call him on it. Instead, he wiggles closer with a happy sigh. 

“Really?” The other pushes. 

Seokmin swallows. “Mingyu, you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen.” 

And if Mingyu knew the last one was a lie, he certainly knows that’s one’s the truth. 

If Seokmin focuses enough, he can catch just the slightest bit of tenseness to the other’s form. 

Before Seokmin can dwell, sleep tugs him down. 

~~~

The nights stop for awhile. Or, stopped really isn’t the word. Because Mingyu continues to hookup with Beomseok at their place, continues to sexile Seokmin. But by the time he comes back, Mingyu’s eyes are already shut, body buried under the blankets. At first, it makes him wonder if the other really did broach the aftercare topic with Beomseok. 

Then, a crack breaks into the other’s facade. 

With the way things have been lately, Seokmin has returned to the apartment to Mingyu nestled in his sheets. He’s been seemingly okay, doesn’t stir when Seokmin calls his name. And so he trudges back to his own bedroom, ignoring the disappointment aching in his veins. It’s become harder to sleep as of late. He’d gotten too used to drifting off with Mingyu in his arms. On the second night he even tried to replicate the feeling, clutching a pillow instead. He made it ten whole minutes before launching it to the floor with a frustrated groan. Pathetic is what he is. And he knows it. 

Night three of Mingyu’s supposed composure is when Seokmin realizes it was all a ruse. He gets back to the apartment, goes through his usual routine of tiptoeing into Mingyu’s room to check on him. He peeks inside, calls his name. Lately the other hasn’t moved an inch, appearing sound asleep, content. Tonight though, his name earns him a whimper. 

Seokmin’s at the side of the bed in a flash. 

Shaking hands ease Mingyu’s comforter off, revealing tear-stained cheeks and frowned lips. Seokmin’s heart shatters in two. 

“I-I’m sorry Seokkie. I-I can handle it myself. G-go to bed.” 

Seokmin furiously shakes his head. Mingyu’s eyes clench tight. He curses himself, reminding himself that Mingyu needs gentleness right now, not anger. No matter how angry he is at himself for failing to see the past nights for what they were: carefully crafted lies. 

He knew he should’ve pushed, should’ve moved into the room. He bets if he hedged closer to the bed, actually saw Mingyu’s face, he’d have been able to tell the boy was far from okay. 

Kim Mingyu is a selfless bastard. Of course he wouldn’t want to inconvenience Seokmin anymore. As if taking care of him would ever be such a thing. Though in his insecure little mind, he’s sure it is. And Seokmin’s determined to show him just how wrong he is. 

He pushes the sheets further down, revealing dirtied bare skin and trembling muscles. Seokmin heads to the bathroom, dampens a cloth with borderline hot water. He uses the heat of it to soothe over Mingyu’s chilled skin. The cum has crusted up now, making it harder to remove. Seokmin does so as softly as he can. When he’s finished, Mingyu’s practically throwing himself into his arms. It’s harsh enough to send him tumbling down flat. 

It takes every ounce of his willpower to ignore that Mingyu’s naked in his lap. 

“Gyuie, it’s okay.” He’s repeated the phrase about a million times in the last ten minutes. Every utterance of it works to dissolve just the smallest amount of tension from the other’s shoulders. This time, he slumps into him, a relaxed wall of strong muscle. Tentatively, Seokmin reaches his hands around his back. His brows furrow at the dampness there. God, he hopes he didn’t just touch a pool of Beomseok’s cum. He would be the type to mark Mingyu like a sex doll. 

His heart drops when his fingertips come into view. Why the fuck do they look red?! Heart racing, he reaches towards the bedside lamp, cooing an apology when he clicks it on. Mingyu whines into his shoulder, mumbling “too bright”. Seokmin ignores it in favor of inspecting what is most definitely blood on his hand. 

Gently, he reaches back again. He runs his fingers over Mingyu’s back, feeling jagged lines as he goes. Mingyu shivers against him, body occasionally jerking when he catches on a particularly raw spot. Seokmin’s stomach gives a series of warning pulses. He breathes in slowly through his nose to try and calm it. It does very little. 

Mingyu makes a tiny sound of confusion when he urges him off. He peers up at him in inquiry as Seokmin lowers him to the sheets, flat on his front. Seokmin ignores the round globes of his ass and rakes over his torso instead. Lines, wells of red lines, some still bleeding. He traces underneath one. They’re too small to be from a flog. He squints, leans closer. Fingernail trenches. That’s exactly what they are. Fucking hell, that asshole is rough with Mingyu. He knows the other said he wants it, but did he want it this harshly? It’s hard to believe he would. 

“Gyu, your back is bleeding.” he works oh-so-hard to keep the ire from his voice. With the way Mingyu’s tenses, he barely succeeds. 

“I-I was on top.” the mumbled half-explanation twists into Seokmin like a massive drill. His belly gives another lurch. He knows if Mingyu wasn’t beside him right now he would’ve already succumbed to the nausea. 

“Beommie said he needs to cut his nails.” A pet name? The guy drove holes into Mingyu’s skin then left him whimpering alone in his bed and he gets a cutesy pet name?! Seokmin has to breathe in cycles of ten to finally calm enough to speak without screaming. 

“Mingyu, he drew blood. Like everywhere. Did you even want these?” He presses under a red streak to emphasize his point. Mingyu whimpers and jerks forward again. 

“N-not really. I-I tried to say ‘yellow’ but Beommie was just too caught up in everything--”

Seokmin can’t believe what he’s hearing. The incredulity of it all completely saps the last crumbs of his exposure like a vacuum. His fists, bloodied, ball up at his sides. “Mingyu! That’s not fucking okay!” Mingyu flinches exactly like he thought he would. Seokmin tries to calm himself but it’s moot. His nerves tingle too much with anger. He climbs clumsily off the bed, uses the adrenaline to rifle angrily through their bathroom medicine cabinet. 

He returns with a box of bandages and pre-packed antiseptic wipes. Mingyu’s a shaking mess even before he starts to clean him up. Guilt is heavy in Seokmin’s gut but it’s drowned out by the tsunami of fury he feels. Mingyu is one of the smartest people he knows. How could he be dumb enough to let this asshole treat him so poorly?! It’s bad enough the guy leaves him a wreck without aftercare every time, but to blatantly ignore an attempt at safeword use?! It’s irresponsible, it’s horrible, it’s disgusting . 

He doesn’t deserve Mingyu at all. And Mingyu does not deserve to be treated that way. 

He can’t bring himself to say either though. 

All he manages is bandaging Mingyu up. The pair stay silent, all the way up to the click of the lamp. Seokmin weighs his options in the dark. He doesn’t think he can stay here tonight. But when he tries to leave a hand grips so desperately at his wrist he can’t help but give in. 

Mingyu whines softly at the limpness of his arms. He pulls them around himself. Seokmin can practically picture his pout at the way he’s barely returning the embrace. Eventually he gives into that too. Mingyu sighs contently when he does, curling under his chin in a little ball. 

Seokmin waits until the other’s one hundred percent asleep to let the tears fall. 

~~~

The next time Mingyu hooks up with Beomseok, it’s at the man’s own apartment. Needless to say Seokmin’s absolutely floored when he gets that particular text. 

He’s in the library when it pings through, studying for a chem exam with Minghao. His face must show something because the smaller grabs his phone from his limp hold and peers it over. Seokmin sees the very second he spots the message. They share a look. Wordlessly, Minghao starts packing up both their things. Seokmin follows him numbly to his dorm. He’s glad Minghao chose his own place. He doesn’t think he can bare to go back to the emptiness of the apartment. 

~~~

Seokmin finds out that even though Beomseok is fucking Mingyu at his own place now, he’s doing the same shit as before. Though, he learns this information unwillingly. 

He’s just reaching the off-campus cafe when he hears it. Minghao and Mingyu, pressed together in one of the booths. Seokmin was supposed to meet them both for lunch in between all their classes. He’s surprised Mingyu beat him here. 

He’s even more surprised when he hears his own name. 

“So you’re telling me even with you staying the night there he didn’t…do anything?”

“No” he hears Mingyu whine. “When we were done he cleaned himself up, threw me a washcloth then went out to the living room. He said he had a ‘scheduled game sesh with the bros’. He um…had me cockwarm him during it.”

“Mingyu! Jesus fucking christ--”

“Just please don’t tell Seokmin! He’ll kill him if he knows.” 

“Gyu--”

Seokmin makes his presence known then. He ignores the scared little look Mingyu shoots his way. He wonders if he’s parsed out that Seokmin heard it all. He’s never been very good at hiding his emotions. 

“H-how was composition?” 

Seokmin tears into his muffin much harsher than necessary. He hates how small Mingyu sounds. He knows he’s the cause of it too, which makes him even more upset. Yet, he can’t reel it in. He’s pissed, at the other, at his douchebag boytoy who doesn’t know the gift he has. He’s pissed at himself, for being too chicken shit all this time to just admit his feelings to the other. Maybe if he confessed sooner Mingyu would’ve never met Beomseok. Though he would’ve had to return his feelings for that to happen. And there’s no way that would’ve been the case. 

He takes a steeling breath. He catches Minghao looking at him knowingly from the corner of his eye. Seokmin glances back, a silent conversation passing between them. He goes back to his muffin, refusing to look at Mingyu. 

“It was good.” He mumbles. “How was economics?” 

And just like that, the conversation moves on. 

~~~

Even with how insistent Mingyu was at keeping Seokmin out of the loop, it all turns out to be useless when he calls him a mere four nights into his new arrangement with Beomseok. 

And it absolutely sucks, because the call comes through on what was supposed to be a date for Seokmin. 

He hadn’t wanted it at first, had outright refused when Minghao initially proposed it. He wasn’t ready, he claimed. He was fine being alone, he argued. Then he went another night alone in their apartment because Mingyu was yet again at Beomseok’s. He’d returned the following morning with deep bags under his eyes and a hickey the side of South Korea on his neck. He’d clung to Seokmin in their tiny kitchen, claiming the impromptu cuddles were because he ‘missed him’ but Seokmin knew better. He knew the other was using his affection as a balm. And Seokmin let him. He let him, but his mind raced the entire time. After Mingyu went off to shower he texted Minghao. It was a simple, ‘I changed my mind’ yet Minghao knew exactly what he meant. And that was that. 

So tonight, after Mingyu said his goodbyes before going to Beomseok’s--in a rideshare, because the douchebag couldn’t even be bothered enough to pick him up despite the souped-out Mercedes he drove--Seokmin had rushed through getting ready. He set Hao up on FaceTime, let the boy help him choose outfits. He eventually settled on a crisp, white button up beneath a navy blue sweater vest. The dark brown slacks they picked emphasized his lithe legs and cute ass--or so Minghao said. He even skipped his contacts for his smart black glasses instead. Minghao said it was ‘nerd chic’. Seokmin’s mind was too much of a mess to ask. He decided to take his word for it. 

And, despite how much Seokmin was initially against the idea, the date was going well. The guy, named Joshua, was incredibly sweet, kind, gentlemanly. He held the door open for him when they met outside the fancy little restaurant he chose, had pushed Seokmin’s chair in for him when he sat down. And they had a lot in common. Conversation flowed surprisingly easy. And of course he was handsome. Maybe not the sharp-yet-soft handsome he was…hung up on but handsome none-the-less. Seokmin was quickly deciding to give it all a shot. Then his phone lit up with a call. 

Seokmin would’ve ignored it if it wasn’t the specially chosen ringtone he set for Mingyu. Joshua had waved him off so sweetly, even with the way curiosity glinted in his eyes. 

Seokmin took the call outside, shivering in the cold evening air. Winter was fast-approaching this year. He regretted leaving his coat inside. Still, he was shaking even more with nerves. The fact that Mingyu was calling him even if he was at Beomseok’s set off every alarm bell in his mind. 

“Gyu?” He answered. The other line hung silent for a minute. Then he heard it, a tiny whimper. Seokmin repeated the other’s name more insistently, dread in his gut. Finally, Mingyu responded. 

“Seok…can you pick me up? Um…Beommie is having friends over and he said it was um ‘too soon’ for me to meet them yet.” 

Seokmin pulls the phone away in a flash, gaping down at it. Did he hear that correctly?! Is Beomseok actually kicking Mingyu out of his house? And what, he can’t even drive him home to do it?!

As if reading his thoughts, Mingyu tacks on, “The drive back is far, he said he’s worried his friends will get here while he’s bringing me back. He said he doesn’t want to make them wait in their cars.” 

A million things fly to the front of his tongue. They smash against his teeth, tug at his lips. Seokmin swallows every single one of them down. He refuses to look like a crazed man on a busy downtown sidewalk. Even now, even with the cold weather, groups of people pass him every few minutes. He dials it back, even if he knows his face surely gives him away regardless. 

“Where even are you right now?” He manages. It’s a sour croak of a question but he gets it out somehow. He hears a rustle, a shift. He waits with baited breath for an answer he knows he’s going to hate. 

“Um. The parking garage…lobby sort of area?”

“You’re outside in this weather?! Mingyu it’s nearly snowing! He made you fucking wait outside? Are you a human or a goddamn pet dog?!” The line clicks. Seokmin gasps, ragged and shocked. The home screen of his phone greets him when he peels it away. It’s a selfie of him and Mingyu from their last vacation to the beach. Mingyu’s skin is glowing so prettily in the setting sun. Their ocean-curled hair is pressed together along with their faces, twin beams on their lips. It’s one of his favorite pictures of them. Seeing it now only worsens his pain. 

Mingyu hung up on him. The realization spreads through him like acid. He hung up on him because he was being so, so horrible. Regret threatens to swallow him whole. 

He tries to call him back but it goes straight to voicemail. Seokmin feels trapped, helpless, hopeless. A hand wrings through the carefully-styled tousle of his hair. The crunch of gel brings him back to reality. Shit, Joshua! He glances back through the restaurant windows. The other’s still at their table, though he’s taken out of his phone. His pretty fingers fly across the screen. God, he hopes he isn’t texting Minghao. Fuck, how long has he even been out here? He probably thinks Seokmin ditched him!

He tries Mingyu one last time. Nothing. He’s about to give up when a memory comes back. They have each other’s locations shared! He thumbs through his phone, clicks over Mingyu’s icon on screen. Okay, okay, he has the other’s address. He breathes a sigh of relief. 

His shoulders tighten along with the smile he forces onto his face. The gust of heat from the restaurant against his chilled skin almost burns. It feels fitting somehow. 

Joshua’s eyes visibly brighten the moment he returns. Then, they must catch something on his face. He watches them dim in real-time. He feels awful. Even more when Joshua waves him off, gentle understanding to his features. 

“I get it. I’d do anything for my best friend too.” Seokmin nods along, no matter how wrong the claim feels. Surely the other isn’t as in love with his best friend as Seokmin is. 

He feels like the worst person alive. 

He leaves enough for both of their meals plus a hefty tip, no matter how much Joshua tries to fight him on it. With one last promise to text him he leaves, practically sprinting to his car in his urgency. 

Mingyu’s thankfully right where his location stated. Shock overtakes his face as Seokmin pulls up. His skin is bitten red, nose running. Tears are nearly frozen onto his cheeks. Seokmin grips the wheel hard enough for it to creak. Mingyu’s already climbing into the passenger seat before he can even try and climb out. Seokmin sighs through his nose, throws the seat heater on and the car heater gets dialed to high. 

They stay silent the entire ride home, the entire way inside their place, the entire walk to their bedrooms. Seokmin’s heading to his own when a hand wrenches him back. The fingers are still ice-cold. Fire flames into his gut once more. 

“Why are you dressed like that?” 

Seokmin boggles at Mingyu. That’s what he wants to say right now? That ?!

“I was on a date.” He bites. A myriad of emotions pass over Mingyu’s face then. Shock, betrayal, guilt, and then eventually a sadness so deep Seokmin shakes beneath it. Mingyu’s expression positively crumbles. Seokmin hears a sniff before he sees the tears. 

“Oh. Well. I’m sorry I ruined it.” 

He’s in his room, door locked behind him before Seokmin can get a single word out. He pounds desperately at the wood of it, pleas falling from his lips. He can hear Mingyu’s sobbing even through the barrier. He almost wants to kick it down. If it wasn’t for the threat of losing their security deposit he absolutely would. 

Eventually he’s forced to trudge to his own room. He climbs under the sheets in a haze of pained confusion. He doesn’t understand Mingyu’s reaction. Maybe he’s extra sensitive? That has to be it. His emotions are always a wreck after Beomseok’s done with him. The guilt he’s feeling must be amplified. Yes. That’s exactly it. 

Seokmin outright refuses to entertain any other explanation. 

~~~

After the night of the ruined date, things shift. Mingyu goes to Beomseok’s more and more and talks to Seokmin less and less. Sometimes he still calls to be picked up, though it’s Minghao he reaches out to now. Seokmin only learns this when he’s asleep one night, is woken up to Mingyu coming back with Minghao in tow. The latter shoots him an apologetic look then leaves. Mingyu holes himself up in his room. The locked knob stops any attempts Seokmin tries to get at him. 

It feels like a part of him is missing. He walks the streets, the halls, in a daze. He barely makes it through his classes, his practices. Minghao has to keep forcing meals down his throat. He’s so torn up by it all he declines any of Joshua’s date requests. He does it enough for the other to apparently get the hint, their line of communication drawing dry. 

It all comes to a head on an inconsequential Thursday night. 

Tired of his ‘mopey zombie shit’ as he so nicely put it, Minghao drags him out to an off-campus party in the suburbs. The last person he expects to see there is Beomseok. And even more than that, he doesn’t expect to see Beomseok without Mingyu. 

Or see him with another guy’s tongue down his throat. 

Seokmin sees red vibrant enough to block out any rational thinking. Some mystery guy is the one to wrench him off the other. Beomseok’s gushing crimson from his nose when he blinks back to himself. But, instead of the anger Seokmin expects, the taller’s smirking . 

He makes another dive for him. Mystery guy holds him back. 

Beomseok rises, brushes his clothes off as if he isn’t leaking a faucet of blood from his nostrils. He raises a mussed up brow, crosses his arms. “I never told Mingyu we were exclusive.” He claims. Seokmin knows that’s a fucking lie. Even with how detached he’s been from the other he still overhears the phone conversations he holds with their other friends. He was home the night Mingyu called Hao up squealing ‘Beomseok asked me to be his boyfriend!’. He left right after he heard it, shaky legs dragging him to the closest bar to get absolutely trashed. But he still heard it loud and clear. 

The other must realize it too, because his bravado drops. He clears his throat. Anger replaces cockiness. “Try and tell him. He won’t believe you. He knows how much you hate me and he’ll think you’re just making it all up.” Seokmin swallows bile as he moves closer. A bloodied hand tips his face up under the chin. Seokmin tries to slap the touch off. The other barely flinches. “Mingyu may be oblivious to how badly your pathetic ass wants him but i’m not. He’s mine, little puppy. Though I appreciate you doing all the dirty work for me.” 

He’s lunging for the other again when Minghao finally finds him. Seokmin tries to explain what happened but his lungs draw tight. Hao urges him outside, works him through his panic attack then dutifully listens once he’s calm. His face ices over. 

“That fucking asshole! I’ve hated him since the start.”

Seokmin shrugs, mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. He turns to his friend, gives his best pleading eyes. “Can we just go home? I want to forget everything for a while.” 

“Sure Seok. Let’s go.” 

The arms around his waist are too lithe, too loose. He craves the strong muscle he knows he’ll never have. It makes the walk back to the apartment all the more devastating. 

~~~

Seokmin’s taking an afternoon depression nap when it happens. 

Mingyu slams his way into his room, literally slams. His door hits so hard against the wall it sends some of the knicknacks on his dresser tumbling just from the vibration alone. Seokmin jolts up in bed, blinking wide, bleary eyes at the other. Mingyu’s own are furious, a dark spark within them that Seokmin’s never seen before. 

The taller stomps his way towards his bed. Seokmin scrambles backwards toward his headboard. Mingyu only looms closer. 

“Why the actual fuck did you break my boyfriend’s nose?!” 

Seokmin’s too busy reeling to register the question at first. When he does, all the initial fear leaves in a swoop. His own indignation replaces it instead. He shoves Mingyu with two hands over his chest. The taller barely stumbles. 

“Because he was fucking cheating on you, you dramatic asshole!” 

Mingyu scoffs, a humorless laugh leaving him. Seokmin climbs from the covers. He corners Mingyu against the wall, spindly finger pointed into his face. Mingyu clams up at the sudden aggression. 

“You don’t want to believe me? Fine! I don’t give a fuck. Because clearly you don’t care if he treats you like shit. That was obvious from the first night I came home to you being a whimpering, sobbing mess.”

Mingyu’s face turns stony. “Fuck you! You don’t get to throw that in my face!” 

Seokmin fights down the guilt at the pure hurt in the other’s expression. He refuses to be thwarted by his feelings. This conversation’s been long overdue. 

“I’m not ‘throwing it in your face’”, he mocks. “I’m trying to show you how irrational you’re being. Beomseok doesn’t care about you Mingyu! But you know who fucking does? Me !”

Tears well up, spill over. Mingyu sniffles and wipes furiously at his skin. “I don’t want you to care!” he screams. Seokmin rears back as if slapped. He stumbles, step after step until he’s sitting dumbly on his bed. His entire being, down to the neurons, is numb. He can’t bring himself to look at the other. If he did though, he’d catch the regret on his face. 

Seokmin shakes his head to himself. On uneasy legs he walks blindly toward the foyer, haphazardly toes on his shoes. He barely acknowledges Mingyu calling his name, Mingyu’s pleas for him to listen, to stay, that he ‘didn’t mean what he said’. Seokmin ignores them all. He slams the door shut, makes his way to Minghao’s even with Mingyu hot on his heels. The other finally gives up once he’s across the street. 

Minghao has a million questions written into his skin when he opens the door. He takes one look at Seokmin’s face and holds back every single one. He welcomes him into his dorm with open arms and soothing words. 

~~~

“How could you say that to him Mingyu?” He tries not to wither beneath Minghao’s icy stare. Truthfully, he’d been slightly avoiding the other ever since his fight with Seokmin. He knew the boy went to Hao’s when he left, knew the smaller most definitely took Seokmin’s side. And maybe he should. Mingyu is a terrible person. He hurt the person he loves the absolute most in life. And for what? A guy that gives zero fucks about him? 

It’s only been two days but he’s miserable. Seokmin only comes home to grab clothes then shoots off back across the street to Minghao and Jun’s. He locks his bedroom door behind him when he does, effectively shutting Mingyu out. When he finally emerges he’s just quick enough, just stony enough, to shoulder off any of Mingyu’s advances. No matter how many times he pleas with him, begs literally on his knees for him to listen, Seokmin remains steadfast and silent. It’s devastating and the devastation has been building to lethal levels. That’s the only reason he’s decided to brave the fray and beg Minghao for advice. 

The boy agreed to meet him in one of the library’s study rooms. Mingyu didn’t dare ask if he could come over. He knew the other wouldn’t let him, not with the risk of Seokmin running into him there. Sure, Minghao loves Mingyu plenty, but he’s always been most protective over Seokmin. It used to make him bitter. Now, he’s almost grateful for it. Even though the person Minghao’s trying to shield him from is Mingyu himself. 

“I fucked up Hao. I know I did.” He mumbles. Each word slices into his tongue, caves in his chest. He’s never ever wanted to hurt Seokmin. And he has. He absolutely hates himself for it. 

Minghao softens slightly. A hand grabs his over the table. Mingyu clings to it like a lifeline. He chances a glance up, breath leaving in a whoosh of relief at the gentle curve to the other’s eyes. Minghao sighs. 

“I just don’t get why you’ve been doing what you’re doing. I mean, no one does. There’s so many people out there Mingyu, why tether yourself to someone so awful?”

Mingyu shrugs, struggling to come up with an explanation. In reality, he doesn’t really know either. He supposes he was just tired of putting himself out there. He just wanted something that stuck. And don’t all relationships have difficulties? He can work through them if it means he isn’t alone. Minghao looks devastated when he says as much. 

The smaller scoots his chair so close to him they’re practically in each other’s laps. Minghao reaches up, tucks a lock of hair behind his ear so gently Mingyu feels his eyes burn from the sweetness. It’s been so long since someone’s treated him so kindly. Not since Seokmin stopped taking care of him. Not since Mingyu stopped allowing Seokmin to take care of him. 

“But Mingyu, you’re never alone. You have me, you have Seok.”

“Not anymore.” He grits. Minghao sighs again. He shakes his head. 

“You still have him Gyu. He just needs time. You…put him through a lot.” 

Mingyu winces. He knows that! It’s just one of many facts that make him avoid his own reflection in the mirror these days. He should’ve never asked Seokmin to take on such a role. He was using him, point-blank. It was unfair to him yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was the only way he could be close to the other like that. The only way he could fulfill all the fantasies he’s kept secret the past two years. Was it selfish? Extremely. And that’s why he tried to make it better, tried to only sleep with Beomseok at his apartment. He’d lick his own wounds there, bring himself back from the edge before facing Seokmin. It barely worked. Obviously. 

“Was he really on a date the night I had him pick me up?” He hates how tiny the question comes out. He hadn’t even intended to ask. Yet it’s been burning into his cortexes since that very night. 

Minghao looks at him in something that appears a lot like pity. Mingyu bites at his lip in an effort to stave back tears. Slowly, Minghao nods. He breaks. The other’s shoulders are far too narrow to cradle him comfortably but he tries his best anyway. 

“Okay, so, tell me why you’re so upset by that.” Minghao asks after he eventually calms. Mingyu hates the knowing look on his face. He breaks their stare and fixes it on the scuffed up table instead. He shrugs helplessly. 

His tongue feels heavy when he admits the reason out loud. “Because I wish that was me.” He whispers. 

Minghao grabs him by the shoulders, shakes him a little. There’s a slightly crazed glint to his eyes. “Then listen to me! It can be! Drop Beomseok, fix things with Seokmin. It can happen. It will happen.” 

“B-but what about the guy he went on a date with?”

Minghao scoffs. “Joshua? Seok ghosted him after that first night. I’d be more angry with him about it if I didn’t know--” he cuts himself off, guilt pinching in his eyelids. 

Mingyu squints. “If you didn’t know what?”

Minghao crosses his arms, suddenly defensive. He frees a hand to wave him off. “J-just--forget that for now. Focus on dropping the dickhead and then put the rest of your energy into mending things with Seokmin.” 

Mingyu peers over his friend suspiciously for another minute more. His mind’s a mess. What could Minghao have possibly meant to say? There’s a million possibilities he can think of and yet none of them make any sense. He shakes them all off and slumps where he sits. 

“You think he’ll accept a breakup text?” 

Minghao snorts. He pats over his shoulder. “Pretty sure you could send him a goddamn letter in the mail and he’d be fine with it. He doesn’t deserve your sweetness, Gyu. Don’t try and give any more of it to him.”

~~~

Seokmin’s aching for his bed by the time he finally reaches it. Today felt like the day from hell. It was near-blizzard conditions outside yet no one canceled classes. He fell on a patch of black ice and busted his ass in front of an entire gaggle of giggly sorority girls. Did a single one help his pathetic self up? Nope. On top of that, he was late to his lecture by ten whole minutes, seemingly long enough for his professor to make him stay back after it finished and give him an entire nagging about ‘disrespect and etiquette’. Then, when he reached the on-campus coffee shop they were out of his favorite peppermint mocha flavor and he had to settle for a different seasonal one that tasted so much like paint and sadness he had to toss the almost completely full coffee into the trash. A car drove past him on the walk home, speeding through a pile of grey-black slush so quickly it sent a wave of it flying all over him. He reached the apartment wet, cold, eyes burning. As soon as he was through the door he stripped. He hadn’t even bothered going to Hao’s. He slept like shit over there. And he knew Mingyu had a class now anyway. 

He climbs into bed in just his bunny-printed boxers and lays down with a weary sigh. He’s about to drift off when his bed starts moving. 

Wait. 

His bed is moving ?!

He feels the groan before he hears it. Shooting up with a start, he frantically clicks on his lamp with a trembling hand. He comes face to face with a sleepy eyed Mingyu. His breath leaves in a shake. He runs a hand over his suddenly tight chest. His naked chest. He scrambles to cover up with the blankets, yelping. The sound startles Mingyu too, the boy jerking so harshly he slams his skull against the headboard. Seokmin hisses, reaching for him. Then reality crashes back. He snaps his arms back to his body in a flash. Hurt passes over Mingyu’s face. 

“Get the fuck out of my bed!” He screams hysterically. Mingyu’s mouth opens and closes helplessly. Seokmin tries to shove at him but he barely moves. Instead, he sits up fully, scoots closer. Their faces are mere inches from each other. The proximity makes him burn. He tries to scramble away but an arm around his waist holds him back. The softness of it against his bare skin speeds his pulse to astronomical levels. It’s overwhelming enough that he slumps in exhaustion. Mingyu eyes him warily. Slowly, he loosens his hold then waits. Seokmin blinks at him. He doesn’t register what he’s waiting for until the silence stretches thin. He weighs his options. He could leave. And yet, he’s so very tired of this mess they’ve created. Maybe now is their chance to rectify it. 

“I’m sorry.” Mingyu croaks. 

Seokmin stares at him dumbly. “For sleeping in my bed or…” 

Mingyu snorts, shakes his head. Slowly, he grabs his hand. Seokmin stays limp in the hold but doesn’t move away either. The other must take it as a good sign. He moves closer. Their thighs brush under the blankets. Mingyu must be wearing shorts too. Or maybe just boxers. Though he usually sleeps shirtless if he goes that far. And he’s definitely wearing a shirt. Seokmin’s shirt, he notices. 

The hem of it is just a tinge too short. It rides up, exposing tan belly when Mingyu runs his free hand through his hair anxiously. “For everything.” He finally responds. Seokmin’s breath catches in his throat at the new glisten to his eyes. Mingyu shakes his head at himself, looking down at the sage green comforter in an attempt to hide. Seokmin’s acts on instinct then, his free hand reaching out and up. His fingers are light under Mingyu’s chin, soft in the way they encourage him to face him. Mingyu’s wet eyes widen. 

“I put you through so much shit, Seokmin. And you never complained. Even when you were frustrated you treated me so…so gently. Like you loved me. Even when I hurt you.”

“I do.” Seokmin blurts. Mingyu’s brows furrow. Seokmin swallows a wave of nerves. He sees the question in the other’s eyes. 

“You said ‘like I loved you’.” he repeats. “I did” he adds. His next breath is audibly uneven. Between them, Mingyu squeezes helplessly at his hand. Seokmin’s emotions spill over. Wet heat trails his cheeks and drips darkness to the covers. Soft fingers try and swipe it away. “I do.” he musters up the courage to say. Mingyu tilts his head. “I do love you.” he whispers. 

He breaks their stare then. He can’t bring himself to face the pity that’s surely there. He can’t bear to look at Mingyu when he rejects him. Seokmin’s being cruel anyway. How can he confess to a taken man to begin with? Just for that alone he deserves no happiness. 

And yet.

And yet. 

Mingyu’s strong arms engulf him on both sides. Before he knows it he’s curved over the taller’s shoulder. Seokmin stares unseeingly in front of him. He’s hugging him. Mingyu’s hugging him. But shouldn't he hate him?! Shouldn’t he be angry?!

Mingyu draws back. With a giggle, he clicks the gape of Seokmin’s mouth shut. He can’t quite fix the wideness of Seokmin’s eyes, but he decides to ignore them for now. Instead, he focuses on pushing every ounce of his affection, his love, into his expression. “Say it again.” he pleads. 

Seokmin’s face morphs into a frown. He didn’t think Mingyu to be a cruel man. He shakes his head. “Please don’t do this to me Mingyu.” he croaks. Mingyu shakes his head, tilts Seokmin’s up again. He sighs, long and fond between them. 

“If you won’t say it again then I will.” He huffs. 

Seokmin raises a brow. His eyes shine. No. It can’t be--he doesn’t mean--

“I love you.” Mingyu beams. “I love you so much Lee Seokmin. I have for so very long.” 

Seokmin absolutely sputters. His brain fizzes out. Up is down and West is East. The planet is run by an alien overload that seeks to make a mockery out of his life. A train horn whistles into his ears. This can’t be. 

“B-But what about Minjoon?! The hookups?! Beomseok?” 

Mingyu shakes his head after each squawk. His smile only grows. He takes in the pure astonishment on the other and liquifies into soup. He can’t believe this. How blind he’s been, to miss how much Seokmin’s loved him. He never dared hope his feelings would be reciprocated. Yet they were. It was him that was the reason they were never expressed. He curses his past self for all his choices. 

“Seokmin, Seok. Jagiyah. They were all attempts to get over you .” 

A hand cups Seokmin’s cheek. Mingyu leans their foreheads together. Seokmin sniffles. He didn’t even realize he’s been crying this entire time. He shakes his head even within his hold. “But you never showed interest in me! Why didn’t you just say something?!”

Mingyu giggles, tiny and soft. “Hey! You didn’t either. Plus, I definitely gave non-subtle hints. You think I cuddle all my friends? Compliment them? Swap clothes?”

Seokmin’s mouth opens and closes helplessly. Mingyu keeps going. 

“Holds them while they stress-cry? Drive them across the countryside just because they miss their family? Help them put on face masks? Towel-dry their hair? Bring them coffees and muffins and sweets and--”

“Okay! I get it.” Seokmin cuts in, face flaring crimson. Mingyu traces over the heat of it fondly. Seokmin sighs. “I’ve given you every hint in the world too, you know.” he mumbles petulantly. “I mean, I would’ve thought you’d figured it out the first night I gave you aftercare for sex I didn’t even have with you.” 

Mingyu dips his head shyly. Seokmin urges it right back up. “Did that not show how much I love you hm? To do all that even when jealousy was gnawing a hole in me? I dropped an entire date just to rescue you from the cold, Gyu-ah.” Mingyu’s eyes well up again. Seokmin coos at him. He lays a soft kiss in the middle of his forehead. “Hey, hey, none of that. I’m not angry that I did any of that. I don’t regret a single second of it.”

“We’re so dumb.” Mingyu whines miserably. 

Seokmin snorts. “So dumb.”

Then, something dawns on him. His expression pinches. Mingyu whines, thumb smoothing over the ridge between his eyebrows. Seokmin lets him, even as his heart races. “Please tell me you broke up with Beomseok.” 

Mingyu sighs, relief settling into him. “Yes” he nods. “I sent him a ‘let’s end this’ text.” His face spreads in a wry grin. “You know what he said?”

Seokmin stares into the pretty, pretty sparkle of Mingyu’s eyes. “What?” he smiles. 

“‘Cool bro’.” 

Seokmin gapes. Then, his head gets thrown back in a cackle. “Oh my god!”

“I know.”

Seokmin’s laughter dies down quickly. His face softens. Mingyu leans into the hand pressing at his cheek, eyes shutting happily. Seokmin traces over the skin. He leaves a kiss on the tip of Mingyu’s nose. His eyes blink back open when he draws away. Seokmin peers at him, apology in his eyes. It leaves Mingyu confused for a moment. Then it dawns on him. 

“He really was cheating on you at the party.” Seokmin mumbles like it pains him to admit. Mingyu huffs, waving it off. Yeah, there’s still a twinge to his chest over it but he’s long stopped caring. He was never really into the other to begin with. He knew how badly Beomseok treated him. He may have acted oblivious but he was more self-aware than he let on. 

“I know.” He mumbles back. “I walked in on him cheating on me a few days after I stormed into your room.” 

He hates the devastation on Seokmin’s face. He tries to kiss it away, lips curving against the beauty marks on his cheek. It earns him crescent eyes but no smile. He’ll take it for now. 

“Yes, I still stayed. Yes, i’m dumb. I-I was just so afraid of being alone. I thought if I was alone again then i’d never get over you.” 

“Mingyu” Seokmin breathes. Mingyu half-expects him to give him a lecture, like Minghao did. Instead though, all he gets is an exasperated head shake and bright eyes. 

“Wanna help me and Hao key his fancy little car?”

Realization creeps in on him. He gasps, hitting the curve of Seokmin’s shoulder. He meets muscled skin and has to swallow down a moan. His eyes rove over the parts of Seokmin he can still see despite the covers piled against him. God, he forgot the other was still shirtless. He was so pretty when he came in. Golden and strong…no. No . He needs to focus. 

“You two were the one that keyed Minjoon’s car?!” 

Seokmin stays silent. The sheepishness in his eyes is enough of an answer. 

Mingyu throws his hands up. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you two hid that from me all this time!” 

“Mingyu--”

“I should've known it was you two. God, am I really that oblivious?”

“Gyu--”

“I mean, it was obvious. The answer was right there in front of my face yet this entire time I thought it was just fate working in my favor and--”

“Baby.” Every single one of Mingyu’s words die in his throat. He turns back to Seokmin slowly, pink in his cheeks. The other catches on, he can tell by his curiously raised eyebrow. Mingyu pouts at him. “Baby.” Seokmin repeats. 

Mingyu’s breath shakes out of him. Seokmin leans in closer. Mingyu’s heart practically stops. 

“Baby~” Seokmin coos. “I’m going to kiss you now.” Then he stays sitting, staring in anticipation. Mingyu waits and waits until he realizes what exactly the other wants. Finally, he nods. Seokmin tsks. “Words, baby.” 

Mingyu feels like he’s on fire . “Okay.” he whispers. 

Seokmin slots their lips together slowly. He can feel every inch of Mingyu’s mouth slide against his own. He keeps it purposely light, drawing away every time Mingyu tries to deepen it. It leaves the other a whiny, pouty little mess. Seokmin kisses clean over the shape of it, then settles backward with a sigh. Mingyu’s still pouting when he opens his eyes. 

Seokmin coos, hand running over his jaw, up into his hair. Mingyu softens into the touch like a cat, leaning into it. It drops the pout from his face just so, but not completely. Eventually, with one last pet through his hair, Seokmin gives in. He tilts them back together, heart soaring when their lips touch again. He feels like he’s waited his entire life for this moment. He wants to savor it all. But he knows what Mingyu wants, what he needs. And all he ever wants in life is to give the other both of those things. 

With a tilt of his head he kisses him harder. His tongue teases at the seam of Mingyu’s lips, reveling in how quickly he opens up for him. He’s hot inside when he dips in. The sharpness of his canines catch his tongue and make him gasp. Mingyu echos the sound. 

Each kiss grows in intensity, the force shifting them where they sit. Eventually, Seokmin lowers Mingyu to the sheets and hovers over him. The covers fall away then, leaving his bare torso on full display. Mingyu breaks their kiss to stare at it. Seokmin tries not to get too self-conscious while he does. 

He knows he has an okay body, but he’s nowhere near as muscled as Mingyu. And yeah, the other’s seen him shirtless in passing ever since they moved in together, and during a few trips to the beach but even back then he’d worn a shirt. He’s never been allowed full view of him like this. He just hopes he likes what he sees. 

A thick-fingered hand reaches up, tracing lines along the soft definition of his pecs. It trails downward, laying flat. The hot touch lingers, running over the defined plains on either side of his torso. He jerks in place, ticklish. Mingyu raises a brow while his lips turn up. Thankfully he doesn’t test the reaction for now. 

He’s stayed silent this entire time. Seokmin wishes he’d just say something . 

“You’re so gorgeous Seok. It’s crazy.” Mingyu breathes. Ah. Maybe he shouldn’t have wished for the break of silence. Now he’s here, red-cheeked and flustered. Mingyu coos at him. Two hands reach up to wrap around the back of his neck and draw him downward. Seokmin throws his all into the kiss, grateful for the distraction. 

Mingyu’s hands slowly trail from the back of his neck and down his spine. They trace appreciatively over the ripple of Seokmin’s back muscles, the trim of his waist. Then, they settle over his ass. Two large palms give each cheek a squeeze and he squeaks into the kiss. Mingyu’s giggles taste like sugar in his mouth but Seokmin’s too pouty to keep entertaining it. He draws back, huffing down at the smirking boy. 

“Like to tease huh?” He smirks. Mingyu gulps, spotting the glint in his eye. Seokmin gives one last glance before jumping into it. His palms run over Mingyu through the shirt first, thin fabric doing very little to hide the ridge of his abs. He gasps the very second Seokmin dives beneath the fabric. Lithe fingers carve out every bump and jut of him. He shivers, skin breaking out into goosebumps at the contact. Seokmin coos at him, slowing his touches the very second he reaches the peak of his nipples. The rose of them is peaked, tightening even further under his circling. 

Seokmin uses his free hand to worm the teeshirt up, up, up, until it’s bunched under Mingyu’s armpits. He smirks again, two fingers rolling the fabric between them in contemplation. “Kind of bold of you, isn’t it?” Mingyu makes a questioning sound. Seokmin’s smirk deepens. “To sleep in my bed while i’m not here, wearing my shirt. All while we were fighting?” He tsks again. 

Mingyu scrambles to explain. “I-I know it was wrong but I missed you so much and just…” his voice dies off. His lips are tugging downward too much to speak. Seokmin drops the teasing for a moment, turning soft again. He cups Mingyu’s cheek and traces beneath the dip of his mouth. 

“That’s sweet baby, that you missed me so much. I missed you too, you know?” 

“Y-you did?” Mingyu hiccups. Seokmin nods. 

“So much.” He breathes. He can feel the curve of Mingyu’s beam when they kiss again. 

One of his hands stays on the boy’s chest, fingers flicking and twisting at each little nub there. Mingyu responds too beautifully to stop. His entire body curls in at every tweak, muscles tensing and relaxing. Sweet little whimpers leave his mouth. So Seokmin stays. But he has two hands and uses that to full advantage when he cups right over the bulge of Mingyu through his boxers. And they are boxers, not shorts. So brazen, to sleep in Seokmin’s bed in just his underwear, wearing Seokmin’s shirt.

“Naughty baby. So bare in my bed.” Mingyu shakes his head so many times Seokmin gets dizzy with it. 

“N-no! I’m good.” He promises. 

Seokmin raises a brow in challenge. “You’re good?” Mingyu nods again. “I don’t know baby. I think I need to see how good you can be.” 

“I-I can! W-whatever you want.” Seokmin’s chest warms at the other’s sweet eagerness. He’s admittedly surprised at how easily he’s fallen into this role--both himself and Mingyu. It’s been forever since Seokmin has acted as a dom for anyone, and even then it was only a couple of times. But, judging by the flush to Mingyu’s cheeks, the besotted affection to his eyes, the hardness of his cock…Seokmin figures he’s doing an okay job. 

And it’s easy, so easy, when Mingyu is as pliant and cute as can be.

Seokmin traces along his jaw again, dives in to capture his mouth. Mingyu returns the kiss eagerly, ending up a panting mess because of it. He’s just so cute, Seokmin’s helpless but to lean down and nuzzle their noses together. Should he be being so sweet with him? Aren’t doms supposed to be a little mean? Though…he’s pretty sure ‘soft doms’ are a thing. He shrugs internally. Whatever they have going on right now seems to be okay. 

He palms one more time over the stretch of Mingyu beneath his bottoms. The boy’s hips kick up then immediately still. Seokmin’s in awe at the gesture, at the obedience. His own cock gives a twitch so harsh it almost hurts. 

“Start off by undressing for me Gyu. Show me how pretty you are.” Mingyu complies the second the last word leaves his lips. He’s all pure core strength with the way he surges up. He rushes so much to get his teeshirt off he almost becomes tangled in it. Seokmin tsks softly, trying to be gentle in his chiding. Mingyu still responds with wide eyes full of apology. 

“Go slow baby.” He leans back onto his haunches, eyes obviously roving Mingyu’s skin. “Wanna savor it.” 

Mingyu takes a steeling breath, nods. His bottoms come off much easier, glacial. It’s almost teasing, the way he works the waistband over his hips and exposes his veeline. He stops there, glances at Seokmin through his lashes, then dips the rest of the way until his cock springs free. A pointed canine comes out to nibble at his bottom lip. Seokmin looks at it for a half second before gluing his gaze to the boy’s cock. His mouth almost instantly fills with saliva. 

He had a feeling Mingyu would have the loveliest cock and he was right. It’s as long as it is thick, perfectly proportional to his long, thick body. And it’s flushed so prettily, tan skin almost watercolor red with his arousal. And he’s wet, so wet, tip glistening with pools of precome so copious it starts to drip to the sheets the longer he sits there. 

Seokmin wants to taste it, hold it, feel it inside him. Would Mingyu like that? Just because he’s subby doesn’t mean he can’t top right? God, he hopes so. 

Still, Seokmin has a hunch of what Mingyu needs tonight. And he’ll give it to him soon. But not yet. 

Mingyu worms the underwear off the rest of the way, waistband almost getting caught on the thickness of his thighs. He whines when it happens, tiny pout turned Seokmin’s way. With rose-colored eyes he helps the boy work them off, admiring the muscle left in their wake. Mingyu isn’t an athlete for nothing. 

He’s the most beautiful man Seokmin’s ever seen. 

Finally bare, Seokmin’s about to press the other to the sheets when he catches the way his eyes linger on his crotch. It brings Seokmin’s attention to it too and the ache comes back with a vengeance. He forgot he still had on his underwear. He shoves them off so quickly he hears a seam rip. 

He expects Mingyu to be content when he’s bare but the staring lingers. Seokmin shifts where he sits. It makes the length of him bob. Mingyu licks his lips. Seokmin smirks. Ah okay. 

He wraps a hand around himself. Mingyu’s eyes track the movement. Seokmin uses his other to tilt the boy’s chin up, meet his eyes. “Wanna be good for me baby?” 

“Y-yeah.” the boy stutters. Seokmin reaches a thumb up, runs it over the boy’s bottom lip. 

“Show me how you use your pretty mouth.” Mingyu gulps, nods. Seokmin settles back against the pillows piled along the headboard. He spreads his legs, patting the space between them. Mingyu nestles into it. Then he sits, suddenly looking unsure. Seokmin’s heart stutters. He’s so cute and Seokmin loves him so much. 

“Here, kiss me again Gyu.” Mingyu falls into it, letting Seokmin lead the kiss. During it, Seokmin grabs one of the boy’s hands, guides it to his length. He shows Mingyu wordlessly how to touch, tightening his fingers, starting the stroke. 

Seokmin breaks the kiss and leans back against the pillows. Mingyu blinks dumbly at him for a moment then trails downward. His hot mouth leaves scalding kisses to every inch of Seokmin’s skin. One to his nipple, then the other. The red of his tongue circles each one and leaves them perky. All the while, his hand keeps stroking Seokmin. 

When he finally reaches his cock Seokmin’s hips are already twitching. Mingyu looks demurely up at him then licks gently over the head. He gathers up all his precome, swallows it like the good boy he is. Seokmin lights up from the inside out, releases all he feels with a groan. Mingyu suctions over him then takes him in. 

The tepid warmth of his mouth works over him, his sinful tongue soft underneath. Mingyu deepthroats him so quickly his mind spins with it. On the next pass he swallows, throat tightening where he’s most sensitive. Seokmin downright keens. 

The sound emboldens the other, Mingyu’s eyes bright when Seokmin glances at him. He’s practically smiling around his mouthful of cock. The enjoyment is obvious. Seokmin cups his cheek, brushes through his hair. Mingyu’s eyes close. 

He does something incredible on the next pass, a tongue move that cups him then runs down the length. Seokmin’s hips give a big, involuntary thrust that drives him into Mingyu. Apologies gather on his tongue. They die in his throat when Mingyu moans. 

“You like that huh? Want me to shove my cock down your throat?” Mingyu nods eagerly. He even draws off him to give a wrecked-sounding, “yes”. He’s so good, so, so good. Seokmin repeats it like a mantra as his hips start up a rhythm. 

Mingyu takes him like it’s nothing, tiny whimpers and little keens muffled around him. They vibrate up his cock, send shockwaves through his veins. Seokmin feels his belly tighten. He slows. Mingyu looks up at him curiously. 

“W-where-- ah --where do you want me to come hm? In your mouth or on you? You’ve been so-- fuck --good that I’ll let you choose.” 

Mingyu pulls off with a pop. “Mouth.” he answers definitively. Seokmin strokes his jaw and works back into him. He lasts four more thrusts before his balls draw tight. Mingyu swallows every drop of him like a champ. He even keeps working at it until Seokmin’s twitching with oversensitivity. One last questioning look and Seokmin nods, gently easing his soft length from Mingyu’s mouth. 

He pulls the boy back up, admiring the flush of his skin, the wetness of his eyes. He’s pretty, so pretty and all his. He leans in to kiss him. He’s surprised when Mingyu flinches away. 

“I-my mouth is dirty. Let me--let me clean it--” Seokmin interrupts him with an extra-long, probing kiss. Mingyu gasps directly into him. 

Seokmin cups his cheeks when they break apart. He absolutely hates whatever dickhead made Mingyu think he couldn’t be kissed after blowing them. With his dating history it could’ve been anyone. Seokmin mentally curses them all. He’d gladly take the tang of his own cum over having to wait to kiss the other any day. When he says so, he curls into himself, cheeks bright pink and hidden beneath wide palms. Seokmin coaxes him out of hiding and gives another pointed kiss to his lips. This one has tongue and lots of it. Mingyu melts into it with a sigh. 

He pulls away until there’s only an inch between them. The breadth of Mingyu’s eyes threatens to swallow him whole. Seokmin burns with the affection in them. “What do you want baby? Tell me.”

Mingyu turns impossibly more shy. Seokmin holds him tight so he doesn’t hide again. He waits, oh-so-patiently for the other to speak. Mingyu gnaws at his lip again. Seokmin gently tugs it free. 

“Want you.” He mumbles. 

“How?” Mingyu whines, looking every bit like he expected that response. Seokmin giggles at him but doesn’t relent. He needs to hear him say it. Not only to fulfill his own fantasies but to make sure what he’s thinking really is what Mingyu wants. 

“I-inside me.” Mingyu manages to get out. 

“Good boy.” Seokmin praises. He rewards him with another kiss. Then, soft as can be, he presses Mingyu to the sheets. 

Mingyu looks breathtaking sprawled out in his bed. Seokmin never thought he’d be able to see him like this--naked, flushed, hard for him. His entire body jerks when he wraps around his cock. He can tell the other’s trying to hold back his movements with how badly his hips shake. He’s the best boy. 

“You’re so good baby.” Seokmin praises. Mingyu whimpers. Seokmin gives a handful more strokes before rifling through his bedside table for the lube. 

The first touch of his finger has Mingyu gasping. Seokmin shushes him softly, tracing the wet tip around his rim. Mingyu opens as easily as he does with everything else. His eyes gaze up at him, practically dripping in love. Seokmin basks in it, locking together while his fingers stretch him. He takes it slow, as slow as can be. Half to tease Mingyu, keep up the dom role, the other because he doesn’t want to hurt him. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to be a rough dom with him. He hopes that’s okay. 

Judging by the way Mingyu whimpers when he kisses him, he thinks it will be. 

He manages three fingers before Mingyu grows truly whiny. Seokmin slips back into the proverbial dom coat and raises a brow. “Good boys are patient”, he chides. Mingyu falls immediately silent, chastised. Seokmin would almost feel bad if he didn’t catch how hard Mingyu’s cock twitched against his belly. 

“One more okay baby? I’m big and don’t want to hurt you.” Saying so out loud turns his ears red. He’s never been so bold in bed, at least not like this. Yet, the words fall from his tongue. He knows he’s big is the thing. It’s easier to say things like that when it’s true. And Mingyu knows it too, settling back against the pillows with a soft, resigned sigh. 

Seokmin at least adds the fourth much quicker than the last three. He’s to the last knuckle in mere minutes. Then, he pulls out, shushing Mingyu’s whimper with another kiss. 

He reaches for a condom. Mingyu’s fingers wrap his wrist. Seokmin hesitates. A part of him wants to say yes so badly. The thought of marking the other that way is so incredibly hot. And yet…Mingyu had such a long hookup history. And with Minjoon and Beomseok’s cheating…

Mingyu catches his falter, eyes turning downcast. Seokmin placates him, lips running over his own. He draws back just enough to look into his eyes. A hand cups the taller sweetly, like he’s something precious. And he is, at least to Seokmin. 

“Next time hm? We can both be tested, just to be sure. I just want to be safe with you Mingyuie. I love you.” 

Mingyu nods, soft understanding seeping into his features. “I love you too.” he echos. Another kiss. 

Seokmin tears into the condom packet then tugs it over himself quick as can be. He can’t take another second of waiting. And he knows Mingyu can’t either. So with that thought in mind, he shoulders both of Mingyu’s long legs and slides home. 

Slow, slow, slow. He pushes into him at a snail’s pace. It’s half for the other’s sake and half for himself. The tightness and heat of Mingyu is almost oppressive. Any faster and he’ll blow in seconds. 

Fully sheathed, he peers over every inch of Mingyu’s face before moving. The other bows back, yell of a moan tumbling free. Seokmin carves out space inside him. His plush walls give on each thrust. He keeps angling his hips, moving every which way. Mingyu takes him beautifully, splayed against the pillows. His pleasure is obvious, in his face, in his flush. The longer Seokmin works inside him the more it grows, until Mingyu’s laying there with a full-on smile to his face. 

Seokmin runs a shaky finger along the stretch of it. Mingyu blinks open his curved eyes. Seokmin gives a breathless giggle. “Pretty baby. Love being fucked huh?”

Mingyu starts to nod but pauses in the middle. His wide eyes lock onto Seokmin, round and besotted. “J-just by you. Just cos it’s you.” 

Seokmin’s rhythm stutters from the sweetness. He slows, moves closer, leans down. Their lips move together with the grinded pace he sets. When the kiss breaks, Mingyu’s still smiling up at him. 

Seokmin angles his next thrust. Mingyu’s mouth falls open and his hole clenches him tight. He does it again, and again, aiming for the boy’s sweet spot. He needs to keep hitting it. He deserves every ounce of pleasure Seokmin can wring from him. 

The heat builds, between them and on them. Seokmin’s skin is drenched in sweat that mixes with Mingyu’s own. They’re sticky, damp. Rivulets of it trace down his temples, his chest. Mingyu’s shaky hand reaches and follows the wet path. His soft fingertip goes over his collarbones, down his chest. It catches on Seokmin’s nipple and his rhythm stutters. When he looks at him, Mingyu’s eyes are wide, faux-innocent. There’s something sparkling in his irises, a light that grows brighter when he repeats it all again. This time, he lingers on Seokmin’s taut skin, teasing his nerves with his touches. Seokmin switches to a deep grind in an effort to distract himself. His chest has always been one of his most sensitive places. 

Mingyu keeps at it even when he’s pressed harder into the sheets. With a warning grunt Seokmin grabs his hand and slams it back to the mattress. “Be good.” He chides. Mingyu keens. Seokmin’s thrusts stutter again but he’s far less frustrated over it this time. Fire blazes through his veins. His other hand grabs Mingyu’s free one by the wrist, shoves it to the sheets too. He lays there, blinking, held captive in Seokmin’s hold. Mingyu squirms, whines, high and thready. Between them, his cock leaks a fat blob of precome. 

Eyes locked to Mingyu’s cute little face, Seokmin switches to hold both hands in one of his own. Freed up, he reaches downward, strokes Mingyu in time with his thrusts. It earns him the boy’s beautiful neck straining backward into the pillows, pretty mouth stretching in a blissed-out smile. It morphs around his quiet groans, his tiny whines. Seokmin wishes he could capture it, immortalize it. 

Everything heightens the closer they grow. Seokmin can tell Mingyu’s right at the peak by how much he’s leaking alone. Still, the boy, as good as he is, takes it upon himself to warn him too. 

“Seok--- ah --’m gonna come.” 

Seokmin pants, vision already blurring around the edges. His entire body is screaming at him. Every single muscle within him is coiling tight. He manages to coo at the other, it comes out shaky but soothes him all the same. He frees his other hand to cup the boy’s face. Even without the bind, Mingyu keeps both of his held above his head. Seokmin’s belly burns even more. Mingyu is so good, so perfect. The sweetest little obedient thing. 

“That’s okay, baby. You can come whenever.” 

Mingyu gives a high-pitched keen and his body bows inward. Seokmin watches him dig rivulets into his own palms and hisses. He grabs for them, eases the nails from the boy’s skin with his thumb then pulls them up to kiss over the abused skin. He pouts at the other and Mingyu pouts right back. Slowly, the taller gives a short head shake. 

“N-No. Want you to come first.” 

Seokmin softens. He’d huff in exasperation if he didn’t know it’d surely set the other into a spiral of self-deprecation. He swallows down his comments, moves closer to lap up Mingyu’s mouth into a long kiss. 

“You sure baby?” Mingyu nods again. “Wanna feel me come inside you?” Mingyu’s lips curve against his mouth. Seokmin mirrors it. Even if it won’t be the real thing, not with the condom in place, it still feels significant. 

Mingyu works his tongue into his mouth on the next kiss. His hips start moving slightly, fucking down onto Seokmin as he thrusts up. It’s just what he needs to drive him over. He breathes his orgasm into Mingyu’s mouth. One stroke later and Mingyu’s following him, painting both their bellies in white. 

Seokmin stays nestled inside as long as he can. When he softens enough to slip out, he swallows Mingyu’s protests and plunges two fingers back inside him. The whine Mingyu was working on gets cut in the middle and he settles against the sheets with a pleased sigh. Seokmin lets out an amused little giggle and nuzzles their noses together. He’s so full of love for the other he feels like he could burst. 

They stay cuddled together until their skin turns tacky. He shoulders Mingyu’s weight and hefts them both toward the bathroom, into the shower. They’re shaky, and giggly, and giddy, and work as a team to clean each other off. 

After, they don’t even bother with clothing. The dorm air is a bit chilly from the winter cold but pressed together, bare on bare, they create their own tiny oven of warmth beneath their blankets. Neither of their beds are particularly made for two, and with the plushies stuffed towards the wall it’s even more cramped but they make it work. 

Sleep comes easy as breathing after that. For both of them.

~~~

Approx 3 Months Later

It started with him wanting to be nice. 

“Wait no don’t open that!” 

But the damage was already done. 

Seokmin blinked to himself, brain desperately trying to process all the… things he just saw. Beside him, Mingyu stands, face a flaming red to rival the ripest tomatoes. Seokmin can’t meet his eyes. 

All he wanted to do was help the other put his laundry away! Who knew the third drawer of his dresser would contain an entire sex-shop’s inventory?!

Seokmin tries with all his might not to dwell, he really does. But the thing is, he hasn’t stopped thinking about all this since they got together a few months ago. Ever since the confessions, their first time having sex, all the dates that came after…his brain’s been harping on it. 

Because their sex is…relatively vanilla. It’s sweet, soft. Yeah, sometimes he works Mingyu up, teases him, edges him a little, but nothing more than that. And it’s never once slipped his mind that this entire thing was pushed together because Mingyu kept having rougher than rough sex with his douchebag ex-boyfriend. 

Seokmin often laid awake at night, zoned out during class, daydreamed during commutes--all surrounding the same sort of question. Was Mingyu bored with him? 

He kept telling himself it didn’t seem so. If anything, Mingyu’s absolutely bloomed since getting together. He plans cute little dates for them all the time, posts Seokmin everywhere on his social media, was the first to tell his parents they were together. He buys Seokmin flowers for his performances (which, he did before getting together too but now the bouquets are much grander) and Seokmin wears the other’s jerseys for his games. They walk one another to class hand-in-hand. Mingyu introduces him as his boyfriend and Seokmin does the same. 

And, it’s not like the sex they’re having is bad . 

Maybe Seokmin’s biased though. Obviously it all feels great for him, he has a panting, stunning Mingyu begging for his cock on the regular. Or fucking Seokmin hard enough to see stars. He certainly doesn’t seem unfulfilled. 

And yet here Seokmin is, standing in front of the drawer a frantic Mingyu slammed shut, mind abuzz with self-deprecating thoughts. 

Because at the end of the day, Seokmin is a little boring. He loves Mingyu, he wants to make love to him. He barely has any experience with being any sort of ‘dom’. He’d only done it twice with some guy in his Freshman year and even then it was tame, consisted mostly of some ass slapping and calling him a slut. 

But Mingyu’s got so many things tucked away. There were at least two pairs of handcuffs, a flog, silk rope. And that was just everything he was able to see in the mere minute he was allowed to look. Then Mingyu came over and shoved the drawer shut. But he saw more than enough. 

Seokmin’s been trying to imagine it too, fulfilling that role, being mean and rough. The thought of hurting Mingyu even when he wants it makes his belly lurch a little. 

“I-I’m sorry. That stuff is…is old.” 

Seokmin heads back to the bed, slumps on the edge. Mingyu follows after him, hands wringing anxiously. After a quick glance he settles beside Seokmin. He lets the warm line of the other’s body soothe his aching nerves. 

“Is it though? I mean, you used it with Beomseok right? That wasn’t that long ago.” In truth, he doesn’t know why he decided to say that. Judging by the confusion on Mingyu’s face, he doesn’t understand either. Seokmin rarely brings up the other’s exes. Why should he? They were happy and all those assholes made Mingyu more than unhappy. What use was it to be stuck on the past? 

“I…guess you’re right?” Mingyu agrees, though it comes out sounding like a question. Like he’s silently asking Seokmin where the fuck he’s going with this. Problem is, Seokmin isn’t even sure himself. 

“Do you miss it?” He blurts. “The…the rough stuff?” He adds when Mingyu tilts his head at him. Like a cute little puppy. His cute little puppy. And he wants Seokmin to hurt him. Or does he? 

Understanding dawns on the other’s face. Mingyu grabs his hand. His thumb rubs over the inside of it, not skirting past the dry patches there but running right over them--gently, because they’re sensitive. Seokmin loves that, the way Mingyu isn’t afraid to hold him. The people in the past always said he felt like sandpaper when his eczema would be at its worst. Seokmin tried every lotion in the book but the winter months were always harsh. Mingyu’s never cared. Once, Seokmin tried to avoid touching him, dodged away. When Mingyu finally wheedled an explanation he’d kissed him slow, stared with rose-colored eyes, “I want to touch you. All of you. And this is a part of you, therefore, I want to touch it.” The words were almost teasing, childish in a way. Yet, embarrassingly enough, Seokmin teared up. Mingyu giggled at him for it but held him close just the same. 

That same fond, teasing expression is back this time. Seokmin feels himself shrink under it. One of Mingyu’s wide-palmed hands comes up and almost engulfs his cheek. Seokmin loves the warmth. 

“That stuff was…fun. I wouldn’t say I ‘miss it’ though. I know you struggle with doing that and I’m fine with it, I promise Seokmin. I think a part of me sought it out so much because it was so hard for anyone to treat me kindly to begin with you know?” Seokmin makes a hurt sound. Mingyu scoots an inch closer and thumbs between his beauty marks. “It was easier to get people to treat me roughly. You’re the only one who’s ever treated me kindly. I don’t need all that if I have you.” 

It’s sweet, the sentiment. Seokmin is comforted by it but…his mind won’t quiet the way it should. 

“But you like it though.” He mumbles. Mingyu’s eyes are curved when he peers up at him. Seokmin whines a little. “I want to give you things you like. Do things that you like.” 

Mingyu shrugs. “I like you . And you give me that plenty.” Seokmin opens his mouth to protest further. Mingyu’s already seen it coming. His other hand comes up to cover Seokmin’s mouth before he can speak. Seokmin glares over his palm but doesn’t fight it. Mingyu giggles. 

“But! I know you and since I know you I know that answer won’t satisfy you. So, if you want to give it to me so badly why don’t we try it? We can start small…and if it’s forced, or awkward, or uncomfortable, we move on. At least we gave it a shot. I really don’t need that sort of sex if I have you, Seokmin. I love what we have. But if this quiets that nasty little voice in your head I say go for it.” There’s a knowing glint in his eye towards the end. Seokmin shifts. Seems he hasn’t been as subtle all this time as he thought. He should’ve known. Mingyu’s always been able to see right through him. 

A million things pop into his mouth. He swallows them. Instead, he blurts, “Small like how?” 

Mingyu smirks. 

~~~

“So color system for safe words, okay? Don’t stop even if I cry or beg unless I say red or yellow.” 

Seokmin nods along to the instructions. His hands shake around the fuzzy pink handcuffs he’s gripping. Mingyu’s splayed out against the pillows, eyes wide and waiting. He seems so cool and collected about all of this. It’s almost like he’s in the dom role. Seokmin burns. Maybe…maybe that’s something they could try another day. 

For now, he has a half-naked Mingyu patiently waiting for Seokmin to strap him in. 

Seokmin moves closer on his knees, feeling the weight of Mingyu’s gaze on his skin. The boy lifts his arms towards the headboard--conveniently the type with bar-like rungs. Seokmin gulps down a wave of nerves and grabs for one of them. He can’t help letting a bit of sweetness leak through and kisses the wrist before he cuffs it in. Mingyu’s lips tilt. They’ve both already accepted that Seokmin’s going to be a sweeter sort of dom than Mingyu’s ever had. He’s going to try and tamp it down though. Mingyu said he was fine if he couldn’t. But, Seokmin wants to at least give a fighting attempt. 

He repeats the same with the other hand. Then Mingyu’s held captive by fuschia fuzz. Free reign now, Seokmin uses it to drag both hands up Mingyu’s torso. They catch on the hem of his white tank top and drag part of it upwards, exposing his toned stomach. Seokmin grabs the rest of it and pushes it up, up, up. He needs it off, desperately wants to see the other bare. It’s when it’s by his armpits that he realizes his blunder and curses quietly to himself. 

“I was wondering where you were going with that.” Mingyu muses. “I figured maybe you were going to use it as an extra bind.” 

Seokmin shakes his head, leveling the other with a pout. Sighing, Seokmin presses the release on each cuff to set Mingyu free long enough to wrench off his top. Then he’s clicked back in. Seokmin takes a few deep breaths, he needs to get back into the zone. It’s easier now, with Mingyu’s full chest on display. 

Seokmin dives down, laving over one nipple then the other. They peak beneath his tongue, pebble up under the chilly wetness. Mingyu’s hips kick up. Seokmin rests both hands on each side of them and shoves them back down, harder than usual. Mingyu keens. Seokmin’s confidence slowly starts to grow. 

Mingyu had said he wanted to be edged then used as Seokmin’s ‘toy’. And that’s what he intends to do. Licking down his torso, Seokmin shoves the boy’s bottoms all the way off then swallows him up in one go. Mingyu’s salty and heavy in his mouth, already leaking a waterfall of precome. A few bobs of his head and he’s shaking. Seokmin sucks up, mouth tight, and Mingyu’s hips kick. Seokmin shoves them back down and pops off. 

“Can’t be a little patient hm? I’m doing all this hard work for you and you want more?” The words fall from him like an unexpected downpour, sudden and surprising. Mingyu’s eyebrows furrow and he moans far louder than he probably should for their thin apartment walls. Neither care. Especially not Seokmin. He’s determined to make Mingyu sound like that even more now. 

Seokmin goes back down, purposely letting his teeth graze Mingyu’s sensitive flesh. The taller’s breath stutters. His hips jump again, this time harsh enough to fuck his length down Seokmin’s throat. Like a reflex, his hand slaps harshly against Mingyu’s thigh in warning. 

“ F-fuck ” Mingyu keens. 

Seokmin freezes and pulls off. Mingyu whimpers at the loss, stares down at him with frantic eyes. Understanding bleeds into them a moment later. “Green. So fucking green. Please, Seokmin-ah.” 

Seokmin stares a second longer. He breaks it to tongue over the other’s wet head. The next time he swallows him down he grabs the meat of Mingyu’s thighs harshly and squeezes. When Mingyu moans he slaps them both. The skin turns pink, surely stinging. Mingyu cries out his name and grips harshly at Seokmin’s hair. It’s as much of a warning as any. Reluctantly, he pulls off. 

Seokmin grabs his cock by the base and squeezes tight. Mingyu’s lashes flutter while he breathes deep through his nose over and over. The hands wrapped by the cuffs round into fists. Eventually, he nods. 

Seokmin moves back up his body. Mingyu blinks open his eyes. Their lips meet. Seokmin coos when they break apart. “Good boy.” 

Mingyu whines. And it starts again. 

This time, Seokmin dips further down when he goes. Long-fingered hands push Mingyu’s thighs wide enough for him to fit. Seokmin kisses wide-mouthed and wet towards Mingyu’s core. Two hands spread his full cheeks while he stares down his sweet hole. Dusty rose and pretty, practically begging for his touch. A dry fingertip traces the circle of it and Mingyu flinches. One last look his way and he tastes. The musk of Mingyu is addicting, the tang of soap from his earlier shower spreading through. He works over him, around him, dips into him. 

The bed rattles as Mingyu strains against his binds. The chains of the cuffs clink. He’s beautiful. His tan skin sparkles with sweat. His belly clenches, muscles becoming more prominent every time his body curls inward from pleasure. A red flush sits high on his cheeks, spreads across his nose. The fangs of his teeth poke out every time he moans Seokmin’s name. He wishes he could record it, play it on a loop on the nights Mingyu’s out with his other friends, at team workouts, practices. Nights when Seokmin replays all the snapshots of their times together, reminisces the feel of Mingyu’s hands on his body. He never touches himself then. Instead he lays there, hard and aching, waiting for Mingyu to come home. Mingyu’s always so surprised when he finds him like that. As if Seokmin isn’t in love with him, as if he doesn’t think of him all the time. Seokmin would try to limit how often it happens if Mingyu didn’t react so beautifully. It’s always nice, seeing him light up then turn bashful. And he always takes care of him so well after too. 

Now he doesn’t need his imagination. Now, Mingyu’s palpable. Seokmin can feel the dampness of his skin, can taste the salt on his tongue. This time, he can hear Mingyu’s tiny pleading moans for more. Can hear the way he gasps when he smacks his thigh in warning again.

“Good boys take what they’re given.” Seokmin’s voice almost sounds foreign to his own ears. Has he ever gone this deep with sex before? It’s like he’s speaking through gravel. Mingyu whimpers. He seems to like it at least. 

Jaw beginning to ache, Seokmin takes a break by finally working his own clothes off. It’s too stifling underneath his hoodie and sweats. The chill of the room is startling against his bare akin. He shivers where he sits, moving back into the warmth of Mingyu’s body. 

“Want me inside you now pretty baby?” He mumbles against Mingyu’s lips. The other nods eagerly, eyes shining. Seokmin tsks. Between them, he harshly tweaks one of Mingyu’s nipples. The boy hisses, pouts. Seokmin raises a brow. “Words, baby.” 

“Yes.” Mingyu whines. “Please.”

Seokmin coos. He cups one of the boy’s burning cheeks. Mingyu nuzzles into it. “So polite aren’t we? Sweet boy.” 

He leaves the other with one lingering kiss before grabbing a pillow to shove beneath Mingyu’s hips. The lube goes next and when he’s slick he starts circling. Watching Mingyu’s face carefully, he presses inside.

The stretch goes easily, Mingyu so incredibly responsive. He’s a shaking mess when Seokmin’s done with him. 

With Mingyu’s legs around his waist he eases into him. He’s bare this time, has been since they both got tested months ago. Clean, the both of them. Seokmin hasn’t fucked Mingyu with a condom since their very first time. 

He keeps up a brutal rhythm from the start, slap of skin amplified by the quiet. Mingyu lays back and takes it, whining and keening in all the right places. His body clenches around Seokmin in waves, holding him tight. 

Seokmin has to reach down and stave off two of Mingyu’s orgasms throughout. Mingyu turns even more devastated with each one, until fat tears start rolling down his cheeks. Seokmin thumbs one away, licks it’s salt into his mouth while Mingyu watches. He gapes around harried breaths. Seokmin squeezes him again and slows. Mingyu breathes his way through it. 

Seokmin takes pity on him the longer he draws it out. Mingyu’s entire body is flushed pink now and absolutely drenched in sweat. His muscles tremble like leaves in the wind and his eyes are blown so dark they’re nearly black. Every sound that leaves him now is weak, thready. Seokmin doubles down his movements and uses the boy for his own pleasure, just like he asked. 

“Such a good little hole.” He grunts. “So perfect for me, letting me use you like this.” 

Mingyu whimpers and his eyes slam shut. Seokmin squeezes. Ruined orgasm number three.

The boy accepts his tongue like second nature, allowing Seokmin to explore the damp depths of him. He morphs his thrusts, turning them deeper, more of a grind. He can tell he’s hitting Mingyu’s sweet spot by the lurches his body gives every few seconds, the way his breath keeps getting punched out of him. Yet, like a good boy, he staves off his orgasm even wracked in the highest pleasure. 

He’s so good. Seokmin loves him. 

His vision fades at the edges, turns white. “I love you” he groans, filling Mingyu to the core. He pumps his hot seed into him, feels it leak around his softening length. Mingyu’s cock twitches in his clutch. One, last, breathless kiss to his lips and Seokmin whispers “Come for me”. 

Mingyu explodes between them, coming so hard some of it hits the underside of his chin. Seokmin strokes him through it until he’s twitching from the sensitivity. But that doesn’t stop him. Mingyu sniffles, face damp with tears, sweat, cum. Seokmin raises a brow. Mingyu sobs out a tiny “green”. A few more minutes and he’s coming again, cock spurting a little weak line of white right into the middle of his abdomen. Seokmin drops him then, worms his fingers through the mess and feeds it to him instead. Mingyu laps over his digits like they’re the sweetest lollipop, sticks out his tongue when he’s done to show off the white. He swallows slow, Seokmin’s eyes glued to the bob of his throat.

“ Good boy.” Seokmin praises, breathless.

Things fade out then. Seokmin kisses pathways up both of Mingyu’s tired arms until he reaches the cuffs. He frees him quickly, kisses the skin once it’s bare too. The furry pink cuffs get strewn on the floor. Mingyu reaches up shakily, wraps him in his warmth. His arms around Seokmin’s neck feel extra sweet. 

“You were so good.” Seokmin whispers. “My pretty baby. Behaved so good. Took me so well.” 

Mingyu sighs over every affection-laced phrase that falls from him. Seokmin pets through his hair, runs hands lightly over his body. When Mingyu’s breathing calms, he eases away. Mingyu, as expected, whines the second they’re apart. Seokmin kisses him like a promise then darts to their bathroom at lightning speed. When he returns, Mingyu’s frowning with glistening eyes. One need to the bed, Seokmin blankets him and kisses the tug of his lips away. Mingyu melts into it, mouth moving slowly with his own. The water-warm cloth helps soothe the other’s ragged emotions too. Seokmin’s extra gentle as he cleans over his cock, his hole. 

“Shh Mingyu-ah. My baby. I have to clean it out.” He lilts, fingers working to softly empty the cum from Mingyu’s core. A few more dredges and Seokmin finally stops. It’s as good as it’ll get without a proper shower. And, knowing Mingyu, he won’t be up for one of those for at least another hour. 

Seokmin uses the clean side of the cloth to give himself a cursory wipe then flops down beside the other. Mingyu nestles into his arms almost immediately. Seokmin wraps him up tight and lays kisses in his sweaty hair, over his sex-warm temples. Mingyu tilts to look at him and Seokmin kisses him then too, over the nose and along the mouth. Mingyu returns the kiss and it feels like coming home. Something inside of Seokmin settles too. It seems Mingyu isn’t the only one in need of aftercare. 

“I love you.” Mingyu whispers. That feels even better. Seokmin closes his eyes at the racing of his heart. With how closely they’re pressed, Mingyu can definitely feel it. Seokmin glances at him. His eyes are curved, pure joy in them. 

“I love you too.” Seokmin smiles. 

“Thank you for this. I really liked it. Did um…did you?” 

Seokmin can’t help but coo over the hesitant, cute hope on the other’s face. Staring at him, he takes stock of himself for the first time during all this. Yeah, yeah he did like it actually. It was…refreshing to try something different. He likes working the other up, taking him apart, putting him back together. And Seokmin was surprisingly good at it too. Nothing felt forced. And, if they try this enough, maybe he’ll keep getting better at it. 

Mingyu beams when he says so. He leans their foreheads together and closes his eyes. “That’s good. I’m glad.” He mumbles. Blinking them open again, his hand comes up to hold Seokmin beneath the chin. “The soft way is still good too though. Like…we can go back and forth between the two types.” 

“Mhm” Seokmin hums. Then, without thinking, “And maybe try it reversed too.”

Mingyu’s eyebrows fly into his hairline. Seokmin replays what he just said then buries his face in the boy’s shoulder with a groan. It starts to shake beneath his weight. The sound of Mingyu’s giggles fill his ears. 

“Reversed huh? I think we can definitely try that.” 

Seokmin yelps as a hand squeezes one of his asscheeks. He pulls away to glare at Mingyu’s smirking face. Seokmin huffs and forcibly yanks the other back into his embrace. 

“Shut up. This is aftercare time. You’re supposed to be all cute and soft.”

Mingyu says nothing, but his laughter answers for him. 

~~~

Fin