Chapter Text
"He's making that dumb face again."
"No, wait, I don't think it's the same one."
"...Oh shit, you're right. It's not the same dumb face."
"Is Seonghwa actually...worried about something?"
"...I can hear you," Seonghwa growls with a roll of his eyes and finally turns to glare at both Yunho and Mingi, who had been engaging in a mini debate on the topic of why Seonghwa is staring off into space again. They hadn't seen Seonghwa like this ever since the “incident” that occured on stage a few weeks back.
The three of them were in Seonghwa’s living room, with Seonghwa sitting at his desk where all his design magic happens, and the two twin towers looming over him.
"Yeah, we know. And since when did we care?" Mingi replies nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders. He sits on the desk and knocks some papers off, but Seonghwa roughly pushes him off while complaining about not wanting Mingi’s ass anywhere near his work.
"So what is it?" Yunho asks, playing with a pen in his hand.”
“...I can’t think of anything to design.” Seonghwa mumbles, sinking lower into his chair. Both Yunho and Mingi exchange surprised glances as they digest the information.
A few weeks ago, Seonghwa felt like he was Brain-Fog-Free after coming up with the idea of “Elements” being the theme of his show. But after that meeting with his colleagues, his mind has been nothing but blank. His room is starting to look like a hoarders house by the way there’s crumbled up failed sketches across his floor.
Mingi sat back on Seonghwa’s desk, ignoring his complaints in the process. “Maybe you just need to go clear your mind for a little.”
“Have you tried getting out more? Take a walk?” Yunho asks carefully, and Seonghwa lets out a long, suffering sigh.
“Of course I have. I was with Hongjoong the other night.” Seonghwa answers lowly, laying his head back against his chair. He can still remember the way Hongjoong looked at him that night after admitting he was his inspiration for his art.
Seonghwa felt his cheeks heating up, and when he looks at Mingi, he has a shit eating grin on his face.
“Fuck off,” Seonghwa mumbled, pushing Mingi off his desk once again.
Mingi exaggerated his fall, stumbling right into Yunho’s arms and holds onto him tightly. “So this is how you treat me after I tried to help? Wow.”
Seonghwa waves his hand dissmissivly before picking up there papers that Mingi knocked off.
“Maybe he’s right,” Yunho says, trying to get Mingi off of him. “You should go out into town. I know it might not help much, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Maybe you can bring your plus one.”
Seonghwa thought back to when Hongjoong told him that he likes to take walks at the Achasan Mountain in his free time, and that very thought brought butterflies to his stomach.
“He’s staring off into space again.”
“I’m telling you, it’s that same dumb look but his cheeks are all cute and rosy now.”
“Will you both shut up?” Seonghwa groans and picks up his phone off the floor because Mingi knocked it down when he sat on his desk. “I’ll shoot him a text.”
Yunho chuckles and wraps his arm around Mingi’s shoulder. “Now that you don’t have you panties in a bunch, we’ll be taking our leave.”
“Where are you two going?” Seonghwa asks, obviously offended that they’re leaving him in a time of crisis like this one.
“To a bar with with my very platonic best friend,” Yunho replied, grinning. He was obviously making fun of Seonghwa’s love life. “Apparently Mingi and I are good at more than just dicking each other down. We actually enjoy one another’s company. Imagine that.”
“A bar? How original,” Seonghwa teased.
“I got the idea from you,” Yunho replied, taking his car keys out of his pocket. “Because guess what you better do tonight,”
“Go see Hongjoong tonight at a bar?” Seonghwa guessed, and Mingi shot him a finger gun with a wink and a click of his tongue.
“Exactly right.”
“Remember the time you ate five cups of spicy ramyeon with Soju shots in between?” Yunho commented as he headed for the door. “Worst night of my life, cleaning you up. Don’t do that with your new man.”
“Yunho-ah, this just proves—” Seonghwa stood up from his desk— “that we’re best friends for life, because you’ve literally wiped my ass. I hope one day I can return the favor.”
“Disgusting,” Yunho said loudly, yanking open the door and hurrying out with Mingi following close behind him after waving bye to Seonghwa.
Seonghwa chuckles shaking his head at the two of them, then takes out his phone. He doesn’t even have to scroll down his contact list to get to Hongjoong’s name, because he was of course the last person he texted since this morning. Once he opened up their chat, he noticed there was one unread message.
CRUELLA
My parents just video called me
I told them all about you
They told me they wanna meet you, but I told them to back off for now ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
SEONGHWA
Don’t you think it’s a little too soon to meet your parents?? ㅋㅋ
CRUELLA
Ofc it is
That’s why I told them to back off
Haven’t made it official with you yet ;)
Seonghwa laughed at his phone, then covered his mouth immediately from feeling embarrassed about laughing like he’s back in high school texting his crus.
SEONGHWA
Oh stop it ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Hey, I have a question for you
CRUELLA
Shoot
SEONGHWA
Would you like to hang out today? I need to clear my head
CRUELLA
I’m honored you think of me when you need to clear your head Mr. Designer
I work until 11 tonight. Meet me at WONDERLAND if that’s not too late?
SEONGHWA
Sounds perfect
CRUELLA
It’s a date. I can’t wait to see you.
In many ways
SEONGHWA
You’re driving me crazy
Don’t say things like that
CRUELLA
I like to know I drive pretty boys crazy ;)
I’ll see you later
Seonghwa then brushed his teeth vigorously while pressing one fist to the bathroom countertop, because now was not the time to get hard. This was to clear his mind and try to find inspiration, not get horny at the very thought of Hongjoong even being remotely close to him.
╰☆╮
The last time he went WONDERLAND, he ended up almost getting laid because Hongjoong was just too tempting.
Hongjoong is always tempting.
After mentally fighting over what to wear, Seonghwa settled with his usual black jeans and hoodie. He decided he didn’t want to draw too much attention tonight, and keep himself focussed on his goal.
Inspiration, don’t get horny. Inspiration, don’t get horny. Inspiration, don’t get horny.
Seonghwa showed up at the quarter of eleven, not sure what to expect. But Hongjoong was ready for him with that shit eating grin of his.
Seonghwa knows he has borderline ADHD, but the way the” Inspiration” part of his plan left his head just like that.
He handed Seonghwa a drink right away, his own drink in one hand. He pulled Seonghwa onto the dance floor in the middle of the crowd of people, pulling him close. And even though Hongjoong couldn’t hear what song was playing, he told Seonghwa he could feel the vibrations of the bass from both the floor and through his drink. That was much evident when he began to dance with Seonghwa exactly to the beat of the music, Hongjoong’s hips against his, his lips on Seonghwa’s neck.
Seonghwa has never believed in Destiny, but Hongjoong has come into his life like a hurricane, and Seonghwa has never been more grateful for the storm. He was drowning in it, Hongjoong’s hands like waves on his body, his lips like a kiss from the shoreline, and Seonghwa was letting the undertow take him away. He melted into Hongjoong’s arms and danced and drank and forgot damn near everything about his tough work week. All he knew was Hongjoong.
It wasn’t until an hour later that Seonghwa’s phone vibrated, because Hongjoong was texting him.
CRUELLA
Come home with me
Don’t care how
Please
And of course, Seonghwa agreed.
His work can wait.
Hongjoong didn’t waste a second, taking Seonghwa’s hand and pulling him to Jongho who was guarding the doors. They signed a few things to each other, and Seonghwa realized he was too drunk to even catch things they were signing. But judging by Jongho’s reaction, Hongjoong probably straight up told him they’re going home together.
Jongho opened the doors for them and followed them out to wave down a Taxi for them. While waiting, Seonghwa found himself back hugging Hongjoong and trailing his hands up and down his stomach while Hongjoong was signing something to Jongho.
Jongho was nodding, then he looked at Seonghwa. He sobered up seeing how serious he looked.
“Hongjoong wants to go to your place because Wooyoung is at home right now,” He said while signing. “And I personally don’t want to come home hearing the headboard banging against the wall. You good with that?”
Seonghwa knew his face was hot and flush, but he was too immersed to be embarrassed. “Yes, I’ll make sure he’s safe.”
“I know.”
Seonghwa smiled at Jongho, feeling as if he finally earned his trust.
What surprised him more, was Jongho actually smiling back at him.
They were both bordering on drunk when the taxi pulled up to WONDERLAND, but they held it together long enough for Seonghwa to confirm his address. Pleased, Hongjoong held up his fist and Seonghwa bumped it before they both fell into the back seat, unable to keep their hands off one another.
Seonghwa didn’t know when the door closed, but Seonghwa assumed it was Jongho because he saw him waving to them before walking back into the bar.
The touching didn’t stop for a single second as they got out of the taxi. Seonghwa’s floor was on the top level, so they stumbled into the elevator, Seonghwa falling into Hongjoong’s arms and pushing him into the corner to kiss him, Hongjoong’s hands wondering to dangerous places. They hit the walls of the hallway, giggling and tangled up in one another.
Seonghwa let go of Hongjoong’s hand when he needed to put in the keycode, but kept getting distracted by the kisses Hongjoong was leaving down his neck.
When the door finally opened, they stumbled in and Hongjoong took a second to take in how large Seonghwa’s place was. He looked at Seonghwa and signed “Big.”
“Bedroom,” Seonghwa signed back, and Hongjoong grinned. It was then as if they were leaving a trail, because as they stumbled towards Seonghwa’s bedroom in a desperate attempt to remain connected, they kicked their shoes off messily, tripping over their own feet. Seonghwa gasped into Hongjoong’s mouth when Hongjoong went right for the button of Seonghwa’s jeans, and Seonghwa let him do it. He didn’t know if it was the lack of physical touch over the years, but Seonghea found himself highly sensitive over whatever Hongjoong did to him. They bumped into a barstool, both of them giggling, Seonghwa reaching for the bottom hem of Hongjoong’s shirt. He had no idea what he wanted, but he wanted Hongjoong.
They tumbled onto Seonghwa’s king sized bed that he forgot to make in the morning, but Seonghwa was too horny and tipsy to care about it right now. He just pulled his own shirt off and threw it to the side, and Hongjoong did the same, all his tattoos out on display just for Seonghwa. Back and forth they undressed until they were down to their underwear, but it was Seonghwa who stopped them, breathless as he settled into Hongjoong’s lap.
“Hold on baby, slow down.” he whispered as Hongjoong stared at his lips. He must of understood, because he trailed kisses down Seonghwa’s neck to his collarbone, reaching for his phone. The screen illuminating his face, he typed a message and showed Seonghwa.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready to do,” he said. “I just want to touch you. Make you feel good. Can I do that?”
“There’s lube in my bedside table,” Seonghwa said, his heart pounding as words came up on the screen.
Hongjoong tossed his phone to the side like trash, and opened up Seonghwa’s drawer. He shuffled his hand through it for a few seconds before pulling a bottle out. He fingerspelled “Lube” first, and then showed Seonghwa the sign for future reference before he cradled Seonghwa and laid him back onto the pillows.
“Wait one more time-” Seonghwa breathed, trailing off and shivering when Hongjoong just started kissing down the center of his chest, pausing to drag his tongue over each nipple before he made it to Seonghwa’s stomach. He kept going until he grabbed the waistband of Seonghwa’s underwear between his teeth, and Seonghwa fucking giggled , lifting his hips, unashamed of how aroused he was. He wanted Hongjoong to see him. He wanted Hongjoong to know the effect he had on Seonghwa.
Hongjoong reached for the lube, his lips still pressed to Seonghwa’s skin. Seonghwa’s hands we re shaking in anticipation, because the way Hongjoong was rubbing his fingers together told Seonghwa exactly what was coming. When he felt Hongjoong nudge his knees apart, he held his breath. Hongjoong’s fingers grazed his rim, and Seonghwa nodded when Hongjoong looked up at him for permission.
And that was when Seonghwa got his first glimpse of Heaven.
Hongjoong’s fingers were long, and it felt so incredible that Seonghwa had to remind himself to breathe. Just one finger had him writhing on the mattress, but the second finger had him moaning.
“Hong…Joong” Seonghwa gasped, choking on the last syllable when Hongjoong curled his fingers. The way Hongjoong was hovering over him and watching his every move was more intoxicating than any alcohol either of them had consumed. He was soaking up every little movement Seonghwa made, watching the gasps tumble out of Seonghwa’s mouth, and he was responding accordingly. He twisted his fingers as he pulled out nearly all the way, and then he sank back in up to his knuckles, curling and pressing again. Seonghwa’s legs jerked as he threw both arms across his face in a moan, but then he felt a hand pat his hip.
“Don’t cover your face,” Hongjoong signed. “I want to see you.”
“Okay, okay,” Seonghwa said breathlessly, his legs shaking as he slipped one hand behind Hongjoong’s neck. “Kiss me.”
Hongjoong read his lips and bent down for a kiss, and as he traced the seam of Seonghwa’s lips with his tongue, he pressed his fingers in deeper, and Seonghwa’s hand smacked against Hongjoong’s back as he gasped, fingernails digging into smooth skin.
There was something different about having sex with Hongjoong, something entirely unlike any other sexual encounter Seonghwa had ever had. He had only been in this state of intimacy with Hongjoong once, but it was the way Hongjoong watched Seonghwa that made the experience so much more sensual than any other trysts Seonghwa had had before. He devoured Seonghwa with his eyes, unrelenting, shameless, and it made Seonghwa feel exposed in the best way.
Seonghwa’s entire body tensed, his eyes rolling back, legs shaking when Hongjoong’s fingers brushed against his prostate. The way Hongjoong bent and began to kiss down the column of Seonghwa’s neck to his chest told Seonghwa that he knew. He knew exactly what he was doing, because he refused to ease up.
“Fuck, Joong.. Baby it feels so good-” Seonghwa was blabbering now, and when he looked down, Hongjoong’s head was still bent, lips pressed to Seonghwa’s thigh, but his eyes were fixed on Hongjoong’s face, half-hooded as he turned his had to brush his nose and lips against inside of Seonghwa’s thigh again, his fingers still stroking.
“Louder,” Hongjoong fingerspelled with one hand, and Seonghwa let out a choked laugh, out of his mind. He was about to refuse, but then Hongjoong wiggled his fingers just a bit deeper, sliding his other hand beneath Seonghwa’s thigh to lift his hips slightly, and Seonghwa lost all ability to think straight. He didn’t even give Hongjoong a warning. He just started coming. The orgasm was so intense that Seonghwa’s voice died in his throat, and all he saw was his own ceiling through blurred vision as he came. It was as if his own ceiling was laughing at him by how fast he let go. His heart was pounding, his head was spinning, but finally, Hongjoong’s fingers relented.
“ Fuck, oh my God. Oh my God,” Seonghwa whispered in a breathless daze, his legs falling limp, his entire body spent as he panted. Still, he could feel Hongjoong’s lips pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and his waist, his hands wandering. He crawled up to hover over Seonghwa.
“How are you?” Hongjoong signed, with that shit eating grin of his. His cruella dyed hair fell over his eyes and Seonghwa was so confused how he just gave him the best orgasm of his life and went back to being all cute like this.
“You monster,” Seonghwa signed with emphasis. Hongjoong let out a laugh, showing his pretty peary white teeth. “That was.. Best.. orgasm.” He fingerspelled ‘orgasm’ as he tried to compose himself.
“Orgasm,” Hongjoong signed, with the same smug look. “Best ‘Orgasm’ you’ve had.” He leaned down on top of Seonghwa. “You’re welcome.”
Seonghwa laughed and shook his head and rubbed Hongjoong’s sides gently, and the moment Hongjoong relaxed, Seonghwa firmly gripped his waist and flipped the two of them, and then he rolled off the bed. Hongjoong looked confused, but Seonghwa tugged his ankle a few times, so Hongjoong moved to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Off,” Seonghwa signed, fingers sneaking into the waistband of Hongjoong’s waistband. Now understanding what was happening, Hongjoong removed the last article of clothing, and Seonghwa promptly dropped to his knees.
“Can I..?” Seonghwa asked, glancing up at Hongjoong for permission. Hongjoong looked slightly flustered at the sight, looking more innocent than he did just five minutes ago. Hongjoong nodded, bottom lip between his teeth, so Seonghwa scooted forward, draping his arms over Hongjoong’s thighs and taking a deep breath.
He should’ve worked today, came up with new ideas, designed more things, he should’ve written emails to his boss.
But this was far more important.
Hearing Hongjoong let out little gasps as Hongjoong kissed along his thigh was gratifying. Seonghwa didn’t slow down or stop. He found a good rhythm as Hongjoong found his hair, and when Seonghwa felt a pull, his heart flipped in excitement, the lingering alcohol in his bloodstream doing its job.
Seonghwa hasn’t done this in so long, he forgot how bewildering this was. Hongjoong was a breath of fresh air, Hongjoong was like no one else, Hongjoong was tugging harshly on his hair that sent shiver down his spine. Another hand grabbed his shoulder and it felt like encouragement. Seonghwa could feel Hongjoong was close and-
“Hwa,”
The voice startled Seonghwa so much that he froze, thinking he has imagined it. There was a moment of silence and fingernails scratching at his scalp, so Seonghwa thought of continuing but..
“Seonghwa,”
Seonghwa fully pulled off, replacing his mouth with one hand as he looked up at Hongjoong. Hongjoong was holding Seonghwa’s gaze.
“Look at me,” he said, and Seonghwa blinked. Hongjoong’s voice was a bit breathy and throaty, and his enunciation wasn’t as clear as Seonghwa spoke, but there was no mistaking what he was saying.
“I… Want you to look at me,” he said, cheeks rosy. “Keep going.”
The way that Hongjoong then gently pushed Seonghwa’s head back down was such a turn-on that Seonghwa would offer to just leap onto Hongjoong’s dick like it was a sword and he was in a Shakespeare play. He took him back in immediately, squeezed the base, and did what Hongjoong asked.
He looked up at him.
“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong gasped out, and Hongjoong almost collapsed for a second time upon hearing his name spoken so sweetly but with such purpose. When Hongjoong’s body tensed and he spilled down Seonghwa’s throat, Seonghwa swallowed every last drop of cum, completely satisfied.
There was some silent fumbling as Seonghwa stood up and helped Hongjoong to his feet, and then they both tumbled onto the bed, Hongjoong on top of Seonghwa as he laughed in a daze. When Seonghwa pulled him down for a kiss, Seonghwa didn’t even question whether or not Hongjoong cared that Seonghwa had just swallowed his future generations. Seonghwa was tracing Hongjoong’s tattoos as they kissed.
With his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder, Seonghwa could feel Hongjoong shifting around and reaching for things, and then he felt a light tap on his arm. Seonghwa lifted his head to see Hongjoong holding up his phone.
“Easily the best blowjob I’ve ever had in my life,” Hongjoong had typed, and Seonghwa stifled a laugh, pressing the microphone button for speech-to-text.
“I haven’t done that in a long, long time,” he replied. “Your voice surprised me.”
“Well, I was trying to get your attention to tell you to look at me, but you were too lost in the sauce,” Hongjoong answered, and Seonghwa laughed. “The only way I could get your attention was to speak. I don’t normally talk.”
“I know that. That’s why I was surprised,” Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong gave him a smile.
“I prefer my voice turned off at all times. I’ve never liked talking very much,” Hongjoong replied. “But you were worth it.”
“Well, your voice is beautiful,” Seonghwa said, and when Hongjoong read the words, he lifted his head and kissed his cheek. “But we’ll stick to sign language. Unless I’m too caught up in sucking your dick to pay attention.”
Hongjoong laughed, and typed on his phone again. Seonghwa noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed as he read over what he had typed. He hesitantly turned his phone to Seonghwa.
“Do you care that I don’t talk too much?”
Seonghwa looked at him for a brief moment, before tapping the Speech-To-Text on his phone once more. “What do you mean? You never shut up.” Seonghwa teased, and Hongjoong rolled his eyes trying to look annoyed but is failing very miserably. Seonghwa tapped his phone again. “No. Of course I don’t care. As long as you don’t mind that it’s taking me awhile to learn your language.”
“There are a million things I like about you,” Hongjoong typed out. “You’re the first hearing guy I’ve met who’s put in this much effort and stuck with it. In the past, I’ve had to use my voice a lot more, so it’s really nice that I can just be me.”
“We need to find you better people to date,” Seonghwa said teasingly, but when he met Hongjoong eyes after he read what Seonghwa had said, he smirked.
“There’s only one person I want to date right now,” he replied and Seonghwa’s heart fluttered. “He’s funnier than he thinks, compassionate, he has a really pretty face that almost feels illegal to look at. He’s a designer. His ass is phenominal.”
Seonghwa pulled Hongjoong’s arm down so he stopped typing on his phone, and cupped a hand under his chin, pulling his face closer. “I told you that you talk too much,” Seonghwa whispered, making sure Hongjoong was reading his lips before he connected them.
Hongjoong once again tossed his phone aside and wrapped both arms around Seonghwa’s waist, deepening the kiss, and Seonghwa sunk into the feeling.
Seonghwa pulled away for a brief second, and Hongjoong looked at him as if he was offended Seonghwa stopped the kiss.
“What?”
Seonghwa smiled and signed to him. “Stay tonight?”
“Are you sure?” Hongjoong signed.
“Absolutely,” Seonghwa replied, basically cutting him off. “Sleep here.”
“Okay,” Hongjoong signed immediately. He didn’t even hesitate.
Seonghwa smiled as he slid his hands on either side of Hongjoong’s face to kiss him.
For the first time in years, Seonghwa was allowing someone to sleep at his home. The place where he feels stuck and drowned at work. He was always upset, mad, or angry that he had to come home everyday to this place to just keep on working.
Tonight was different for once.
Tonight, he was able to fall asleep with Hongjoong in his arms, and his mind finally quieting down after a long week of stress.
╰☆╮
Hongjoong snored when he slept.
It wasn’t super loud or enough to keep Seonghwa awake; it was more of the endearing type of snoring that showed he was either in a deep sleep or he had hayfever. Either way, when Seonghwa woke up, he was lying on his back, and Hongjoong was curled up on his shoulder, one leg was draped over his under the covers. His cheeks were a bit pink from sleep and the warmth of being under a blanket, his hair was tousled, and his lips were parted as he slept while lightly snoring.
Uh oh.
Seonghwa stared up at the ceiling, suddenly wide awake. He didn’t dare to move, because if he did, he might start feeling things he didn’t need to be feeling just over one month into their relationship.
Like love .
Suddenly wide awake, Seonghwa gently removed himself from Hongjoong, careful not to wake him up. He threw on some clothes that were lying around in his laundry basket of clothes he had yet to fold. Seonghwa made sure he set some clothes for Hongjoong for when he woke up, before making his way to his office area.
Love was dangerous. It was far too soon to be feeling anything like that, wasn’t it? Surely he was just a bit hungover from last night’s escapade. How could Seonghwa possibly love someone he hadn’t even known a couple months ago? How could he lie in bed with Hongjoong and think about love right now? Seonghwa wasn’t even sure Hongjoong would stick around long enough because of Seonghwa’s lifestyle.
The thought of Paparazzi getting into Hongjoong’s face and not leaving him alone already made his blood boil. Seonghwa wouldn’t forgive himself if he introduced Hongjoong to that kind of world.
Seonghwa busied himself with morning work, hoping that Hongjoong gets the rest he needs before waking up. So far Seonghwa has only mustered up a few sketch ideas for his next show but everytime he starts something, he hears the little voice in the back of his head that it’s the same old same old as his previous work.
After what felt like an hour of work and getting nothing done, Seonghwa heard a light knock at the door and Hongjoong was standing there dressed in the clothes Seonghwa laid out for him. His hair was sticking in random places and Seonghwa felt that feeling again.
“Good morning,” Hongjoong signed sleepily, then made his way to Seonghwa. Seonghwa scooted back into his chair to allow Hongjoong to sit on his lap sideways. With a racing heart, Seonghwa used one hand to run through Hongjoong’s messy hair, bending to kiss his forehead.
“Good morning, baby,” Seonghwa murmured, signing only the first part. The “baby” was just for him right now.
“You’re like a teddy bear,” Hongjoong signed with one hand slowly. “I slept so well.”
“It was the blowjob,” Seonghwa signed jokingly, and Hongjoong snicked tiredly, scooting up so he can nuzzle into Seonghwa’s neck, leaving a soft kiss there.
Hongjoong was awfully cuddly in the morning, and it was not helping Seonghwa’s tumultuous feelings.
Love. I love you. Do I love you? Am I out of my mind? I love you. Is that true? Do I? Way too soon. Is it? Is it too soon to love you? Do I really love you?
Lazy Sundays were a rare thing for Seonghwa; he was usually up and about, going out for a run, hanging out in his office working, going to meetings, cooking an early lunch. He was active, never liked to vegetate too much for long periods of time. But if his Sundays were going to consist of waking up with Hongjoong from now on, then maybe he didn’t need to be active.
Unless he needed to distract himself from that feeling.
Hongjoong shifted around in Seonghwa’s lap then took out his phone and showed it to Seonghwa.
“Have you eaten?”
Seonghwa shook his head no, “Do you want breakfast?”
Hongjoong looked down at Seonghwa’s work and picked up one of his sketches that hadn’t finished. It was of a man, his long coat being filled with white and black diamonds and Seonghwa hasn’t even finished the bottom half.
Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa. “Beautiful,” he signed before setting it back down on Seonghwa’s desk.
Seonghwa sighed and leaned back on his office chair. He took Hongjoong’s phone and opened up the Speech-To-Text.
“I’m struggling to find inspiration, to be honest. I can’t seem to find the right thing to sketch and I have a deadline coming up. I was told what I’ve been doing is quite boring, and ever since my last show, I’ve been stuck.” Seonghwa said, guilt filling his chest.
Hongjoong read over the text and then looked at Seonghwa. “Do you need help?” Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa’s heart skipped a beat.
“That’s actually why I wanted to see you yesterday,” He said. “I felt like I could use a second opinion. But we got a little distracted.”
Hongjoong laughed as the words popped up on the screen, then stood up from Seonghwa’s lap. He held his hands out to which Seonghwa took questionably and he was pulled up out of his seat.
“Breakfast first,” Hongjoong signed. “Then we get to work.”
╰☆╮
Seonghwa didn’t know what to expect when he asked for Hongjoong’s help, but he definitely didn’t expect to just walk down the busy streets of Seoul in the middle of the afternoon. Hongjoong said that he knew someone that does street performances every Sunday, but never specified what it was.
They walked side by side, shoulders brushing against each other, and the fresh smell of street food was filling their nostrils. Bustling bodies created an orchestrated sound, murmurs mingly with laughter and footsteps echoing through the space.
Seonghwa wondered if Hongjoong ever thought about what it was like to hear busy streets, or if he knew it was loud with constant honking and yelling. He wonders if he associates sound with the way people weave through each other like dancers on stage or cars maneuvering through heavy traffic. Seonghwa wonders if Hongjoong doesn’t care because he can tell by the way people’s contrasting emotions exist side by side in this setting. Joyous celebrations coexist with quiet moments of solitude as people carve out pockets for themselves amidst the chaos.
Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong when they stopped at a red light, and Hongjoong looked back up at him, giving him one of those beautiful smiles. Seonghwa smiled back, and reached for Hongjoong’s hand to interlock them. The light turned green and they crossed.
Seonghwa wondered if Hongjoong’s quiet world was more peaceful than Seonghwa’s loud world.
Seonghwa assumed they arrived at the place Hongjoong wanted to go, judging by all the people gathering around a canvas. The two of them made their way through the crowd, and stopped near the front. Hongjoong took out his phone from his pocket and opened up speech to text as the street artist got his paint ready.
Hongjoong tapped Seonghwa’s shoulder, and when Seonghwa looked at him, he signed “He’s amazing.”
Seonghwa nodded and smiled at him, then turned his attention back to the artist.
The man, who seemed to be older, started painting a human face. It started off as just an outline, but as he kept going, the man started to talk as he added a beige color to the painting. The human skin.
“As we age and get older, the skin is the most insubstantial part of our being, it is our shell. The skin shows our age first, and then the rest of our body. It’s a mirror of our emotional state. The skin on the face express emotions that we prefer to keep secret. Anger, sadness, disgust, or fear.” The man was done painting, and Seonghwa gasped at how realistic the face suddenly looked in such a short amount of time the guy spent painting on it.
“The body, our muscle, is our armor,” the man plastered red onto the face, and started sculpting from what once was skin, to muscle. “ It is representing self regulation, the brain, and our building skill.”
Seonghwa glanced at Hongjoong who looked so immersed into his phone, reading what it was picking up from the guy. Seonghwa wrapped his arm around him, and Hongjoong leaned into his side.
The guy continued.
“Death,” he started painting bones over the muscle. “Our journey to our final destination. The descending darkness.” After a few strokes, the human face was just a skull now. “To be able to embrace and accept that there is an end to it all is the beauty of time,” he told the crowd. “Do not be afraid of it but instead embrace it. One day you are skin, you’re flesh, and you’re bone,” the artist bent down and picked up a bucket and threw what was in it onto his painting. It was glitter. “But your soul, it carries on. Our soul is the sacred essence within us; our deepest purpose, our unique meaning, the guiding force behind our individual lives. Living this moment is more important.” The Artist took a bow, “Thank you.”
Cheering erupted around them, and Hongjoong was doing silent jazz hands while smiling. Seonghwa was just frozen.
He felt as if everything had just clicked for him.
When the crowd started clearing out, Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong and asked if he could go speak to the artist.
“Of course, I’ll wait back here.” Hongjoong answered with a wink.
Seonghwa smiled at him, then slowly went up to approach the Artist who was almost finished packing up his stuff.
“Um, excuse me?” Seonghwa said quietly, “Mister?”
The Artist turned around, and smiled. “Yes?”
Seonghwa clasped his hands together behind his back and rocked back and forth, “I just wanted to tell you that your work is beautiful. It took my breath away.”
The artist laughed and waved his hand, “Ah, don’t flatter me. That’s just what happens when you get old like me.”
“No,” Seonghwa cut him off then realized how disrespectful that might’ve seemed. “I mean, no, sir, your work is magnificent. My name is Park Seonghwa and I’m a fashion designer. I have never seen something like this before,”
The Artist stood quiet for a moment, and Seonghwa was freaking out because he thought he maybe made the man mad by his disrespect.
“I knew you looked familiar,” He suddenly said, and Seonghwa straightened his back. “I’ve seen your work on magazines. I have to say, you know how to speak to the crowd with your own art.”
“I do?” Seonghwa asked, a little bewildered.
“Yes,” the Artist answered. “I hope you coming here today has taught you something meaningful, Mister Seonghwa.”
“It really has, Mister. I’ve been in a manic episode because I can’t come up with anything. You have inspired me.” Seonghwa said, then looked at the canvas.
The Artist chuckled, “In art, the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine. I hope you have a good day my boy,” he said. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”
Seonghwa took a deep breath, and tore his eyes away from the canvas. “I’ll remember that.”
The Artist smiled. “Good. Now shoo, it looks like your friend over there is waiting for you.”
Seonghwa bowed once more, and made his way over to Hongjoong who was sitting on the step. He immediately stood up when Hongjoong approached him, but yelped in surprise when Seonghwa swept him off his feet and twirled him around once before setting him down.
“Thank you,” Seonghwa signed. “This helped. Thank you..”
Hongjoong smiled up at him, and wrapped his arms around Seonghwa’s neck. “I’m happy,” he said, and Seonghwa smiled at the sound of Hongjoong’s voice. It wasn’t that Seonghwa expected for Hongjoong to speak all the time, because he didn’t, nor did he want Hongjoong to do so; it was the fact that Hongjoong felt comfortable enough to use his voice around Seonghwa and that made Seonghwa feel some type of way.
Hongjoong quickly pecked his lips and smiled.
“YAH!”
Seonghwa pulled away from Hongjoong and looked at the sidewalk next to the building, wondering what the fuss was about. Surprisingly, the yelling was directed at them. Three young adults, two women, one man.
“You take that shit somewhere else!” the man added. “This is a public space for families!”
“Seriously?” Seonghwa replied with a short laugh.
“Hey pretty boy! If you can’t keep your hands off of him, go home!” The elder woman chimed in. “No one here likes that stuff.”
“Christ,” Seonghwa muttered to himself. The crowd has mostly dissipated and the Artist was gone, so he was thankful there weren’t many people around for this situation to draw attention. Homophobia wasn’t rare, Seonghwa was well aware. But now was not the time.
Hongjoong was looking between the people and Seonghwa, then tapped Seounghwa’s arm.
“What’s going on?” He signed.
“It doesn’t matter,” Seonghwa replied, trying to tug Hongjoong away. “Let’s just go.”
“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong signed. He looked upset that Seonghwa wouldn’t tell him, so he gave in.
“They’re talking shit because we were kissing.” He said, looking down at Hongjoong so he could read his lips. “But they aren’t worth our time.”
Immediately, Hongjoong looked over at the three adults. They seemed to be in their early twenties like them.
“Same goes for you split dye! Take that love-dovey shit somewhere else where our children don’t have to see it!” The same guy holldered, with a slight grin. It was clear he was feeling confident. Hongjoong turned his head to stare at Seonghwa with a semi-confused look on his face, but when Seonghwa gave him a subtle shake of his head, Hongjoong’s look of confusion vanished. Instead, he turned to the three adults, smiled, then held up two middle fingers.
“Hongjoong, don’t,” Seonghwa hissed, but it was too late. The two guys told the woman something, and she took off running in another direction. They started walking towards Hongjoong. Hongjoong ignored the panicked patting on his shoulder, and crossed his arms instead as the two men approach.
“You wanna try that again?” one of them asked Hongjoong. “Huh? Go ahead.”
Calmly, Hongjoong lifted the middle finger of his right hand and moved it forward, closer to the guy’s face. It triggered a knee-jerk response as the guy swatted Hongjoong’s hand away, but Hongjoong was faster than Seonghwa could blink, because he caught the guy’s wrist and gripped tightly.
“Yah, fuck you! Let go!” the guy complained, yanking his hand out of Hongjoong’s grasp immediately . “You wanna insult us? Is that it? You want a fight? You’re out here kissing boys in a public place and you want to fight?”
“What’s he saying?” Hongjoong signed to Seonghwa, brow furrowed. He didn’t seem concerned in the slightest, though, even though Seonghwa’s heart was racing. This was the kind of confrontation he saw in teen dramas or movies, not something he ever thought he’d have to deal with in real time.
“Oh, what you don’t speak?” one of the guys mocked. “You’re too scared to actually insult us or what?”
“He’s Deaf,” Seonghwa snapped, and the third guy snorted with laughter.
“Yeah, and I’m the King of England,” he quipped coolly. “This fucker wants to provoke us and then play dumb?”
Seonghwa was going to interject, but then Hongjoong just started signing. He was signing quickly, too, so quickly that Seonghwa couldn’t keep up with what he was saying. His facial expressions made his intentions pretty obvious, but nevertheless, Seonghwa was stumped, and now his heart was gurgling in his throat.
“What the fuck is he saying?” one guy asked Seonghwa. “If you’re sticking your tongue down his throat, then you know what he’s doing. What’s all that—?” He began to flap his hands and wiggle his fingers as a way to mock Hongjoong, his friends stifling their laughter, and Seonghwa could feel the heat rising in the back of his neck—not from embarrassment.
From anger.
This was what Hongjoong dealt with. This was what Wooyoung dealt with. As two people who were Deaf. The mocking, the ignorance, the lack of understanding, the attempts at jokes, the insults, the discrimination. They had most likely been subjected to it for a majority of their lives, and still, they preserved. Still, they carried on with their everyday lives while ableism ran rampant around them and the world taunted them. Maybe it wasn’t this blatant all the time, but to Seonghwa, it was enough. It was more than enough to piss him off.
“I don’t think you want to know what he’s saying,” Seonghwa replied, praying for his voice to remain steady so they wouldn’t know that he was about to lie through his teeth.
“Oh, we wanna know,” the first guy replied, and then he snorted with laughter. “Look at him, he’s still going. What an idiot.”
They were talking about Hongjoong as if he wasn’t even present. That was yet another thing that made Seonghwa’s blood boil, because Hongjoong was still just signing with a smirk on his face, unbothered, and then he looked at Seonghwa.
“He said…” Seonghwa took a deep breath and set his hands on his hips, his mind racing. “He said that you should all be so lucky to see two men kissing because that’s more action than you’ve ever gotten from your own hands in your lifetime.”
“You fucking—”
“And!” Seonghwa interrupted before any of the three men could react or pounce or hurl further insults. “And… Christ, do you really need me to interpret this?”
“You fucking tell us,” the second guy threatened.
“Oh, this fucker just wants a fight,” one of the guys laughed, stepping into Hongjoong’s space and lifting his hand to strike. Hongjoong’s response was cool and collected—he held up one arm and let the guy’s hand hit the bone of his forearm as he drew himself to full height, silently challenging the two.
“Uh, the last thing he signed,” Seonghwa blurted out, holding up one hand before the fight turned physical. “Sorry. The last thing he signed was that all he has to do is get the city to pull up the street security footage as evidence of two grown men harassing a person who’s Deaf. So do with that what you will.”
“Shit, bro, we can’t fucking fight him,” one of the guys hissed instantly, grabbing his friend. “Let’s go. Let’s go, come on. Fuck. Fuck.”
“This asshole was—!”
“Let’s go,” the guy insisted, smacking his friend on the back of the head. “Christ, come on. Move, go. Go, go, fuck these two. Go.”
Seonghwa could feel his heart dropping into his stomach as the three guys retreated, his hands shaking violently from the adrenaline, a bead of sweat trickling down his spine. Fear. Pure fear. Never in his life had he had to deal with such a head-on confrontation, and he had just jumped into the deep end. He hadn’t even thought twice about lying and challenging three pissed off men in Seonghwa’s defense.
Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s arm and turned him. “What did you say?” he signed, curious. “I was ready to fight them.”
“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa signed, and then he hastily reached for his phone, his hands still shaking. “I’m sorry, I…”
He felt Hongjoong’s hands on his waist as he typed up a message as quickly as possible, turning his phone to show Hongjoong: I told them you signed that the only action they get is from their own hands, that they should go back to using scooters instead of skateboards, and that the city can pull up security footage to show them harassing you.
Hongjoong read it once. He read it twice. And then he burst out laughing, covering his face with both hands and tilting his head back. Seonghwa wanted to scold him and tell him that it wasn’t funny at all and that he was about to shit himself in fright, but the adrenaline crash was smacking him in the face, and he could barely think straight. Hongjoong set both hands on his knees and bent at the waist with a little grunt from stretching and one last laugh, and he lifted his head with a grin.
“That’s not what I said,” he signed, straightening up and trying not to laugh again.
“I didn’t know what you said!” Seonghwa exclaimed, smacking both hands against his forehead and circling himself as the panic subsided and he caught his breath. “I didn’t want you to fight them,” he added. “So I just lied. I’m sorry, by the way. I know you don’t need anyone to stand up for you or fight your battles for you, but I didn’t know what else to do to stop them from fighting you,” Seonghwa apologized. “And it pissed me off so much. They were mocking you and talking about you like you weren’t even there.”
Hongjoong read the words as they appeared on the screen, and he gently took the phone out of Seonghwa’s hands and typed.
“Two dimwit assholes mocking me is nothing to be offended by,” he replied. “I know that I’m desensitized and I probably should be mad, but I’ve dealt with worse. I’ve dated people who have talked about me like I wasn’t right in front of them. That’s just something I have to face as a Deaf person. Most of the time, I don’t need anyone to save me. It makes me feel helpless and stupid. But there are times when having someone around who’s hearing is actually helpful. This was one of those times.”
“Out of curiosity, was I close?” Seonghwa asked. “Did I interpret anything that you were saying correctly?”
“Oh, no. Not even close,” Hongjoong answered. “I was signing the lyrics to ‘Candy Shop by ‘50 Cent’. They had no idea that I was talking about sexual innuendo.”
“Kim Hongjoong!” Seonghwa yelled, smacking Hongjoong’s arm as Hongjoong laughed, recoiling. “Are you fucking with me? Are—” He grabbed the phone. “Are you fucking with me?” he repeated.
“I’m serious,” Hongjoong replied with the same mischievous grin. “Wooyoung taught me that trick. I can sign whatever the fuck I want.”
Seonghwa burst out laughing again, feeling all the fear leave his system. Hongjoong was laughing with him, then took his hand and started walking down the Seoul street.
Seonghwa wonders if anyone could see how happy they are as much as he can sense it. With the way Hongjoong hold his hand, the way Hongjoong smiles at him. He wonders if the obvious way they show each other they care, someone would think they are in love.
Seonghwa knows. Seonghwa knows he is.
Hongjoong is so easy to love.
Hongjoong is love.