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I"ll be back soon. Don"t miss me too much.
Love,
Mav
You kept the note folded in the palm of your hand, your fingers gently closed over it. A nurse had come in to check on you and brought a little plastic cup and water to keep your flower in. Now it was on your little tray table, and you couldn"t stop looking at it and thinking of Maverick, holding you close to his chest while you slept. You can"t really recall a time when you"ve slept better.
Most of you was completely ready for this. He"d opened up to you, told you how he felt, and said that he wanted to make this work between you. That should have been the end of it. So why did you feel like the other shoe was going to drop, like everything would end before it really began?
A knock on your door broke you out of your quickly spiraling thoughts, and you looked up to see Agent hanging out in the doorway of your room. He was smiling, holding flowers, and a little balloon with "Get Well Soon" written on it in fancy script. "Hey. I figured you could use a little company."
You sit up immediately, wincing as the movement pulls at your stitches. The doctor had said your wound wasn"t too bad and that the stitches could probably come out in another three days or so. You had insisted on being released so you could be with your team during the mission, and he"d let you know that you could be released the next morning. "Yeah, that"d be great."
He steps further into your room, setting the flowers down on your side table and letting the balloon rest against the ceiling. "How are you feeling, Chaos?" He settled into the chair by your bedside, his hands folded in his lap while his deep brown eyes studied you with worry. "You look like you"ve been through the ringer."
"Gee, thanks." You answered dryly, getting a smirk from him. "I"m okay. Just a little sore, but apparently I"m healing up fine. I"ll be out of here by tomorrow. I can rejoin you guys for the last few days before the mission." You pause then, looking him over. You can see a cut on his lower lip and a bruise on his cheek. "How about you, honey? Are you okay?"
"Leave it to you to worry about me while being laid up in a hospital bed." He leans against your bed, his chin resting in one of his hands. "I"m fine. A little traumatized, but no major wounds. Just a little shaken up. Our plane is obviously disintergrated, so I"ve been grounded for awhile. Not that I want to fly anyway, not without you."
Your heart melted a little at that. Josh has been your best friend since your time at the Naval Academy, and he"s been your WSO practically your entire career. There was an unbreakable bond between you. "I"m sorry, J. If I had just seen the birds quicker, we wouldn"t be in this mess." Of course you blamed yourself; you were the pilot. He put your life in his hands each time you went up, and this time, something horrible had happened.
"Oh, shut it." He swatted at your hand, grabbing it and squeezing it soothingly. "Don"t you dare blame yourself for this, okay? It was just a freak accident; it happens. It"s not like you went out of your way to hit them." Well, he had a point. "Besides, you gave me a few days of bed rest and a break from the tension between Mav and Rooster."
You smiled, but didn"t say much to that. You still didn"t know the reason behind the tension between them. You weren"t sure if Maverick would talk to you about it if you were to ask. "Yeah. You know he"s been here every night since the accident? I slept on his chest last night."
You watched as Agent"s jaw dropped. "He"s been here every night? Baby girl, I knew he felt something for you. Are you going to...?" You didn"t get to hear the end of that sentence.
Suddenly, you got a flash of Maverick"s emotions. It hit you so fast that you nearly doubled over, and you were only faintly aware of Josh asking you what was happening. The pain your soulmate was currently feeling was overwhelming, and you could feel a deep sense of loss. Something bad had happened, and you scrambled to grab your cell phone off the bedside table.
After calling him three times, he finally answered. "Hey."
"Mav? Baby, are you alright?" His breathing was uneven, and it sounded like he was on the edge of a panic attack. "Baby, talk to me. What"s going on? Is someone on the team hurt? I felt what you were feeling, and-"
"Ice is gone." He finally got the words out, and it sounded like he almost couldn"t believe what he was saying. "He was sick for a long time; no one else knew. He went to take a nap, and Sarah found him. He was... he was already gone."
You knew that Admiral Kazansky had been a close friend of Maverick"s since they first met in Top Gun back in 1986. You"d never had the pleasure of meeting the man yourself, but you"d heard through the grapevine that he was a good man. No-nonsense, sure, but also kind and fair. His loss would be felt far and wide by those who knew him. "I"ll be right there."
***
Several hours later, you were marching out of the hospital with Agent tailing you. He"d tried to get you to stay put, but you had checked yourself out of the hospital with the promise that you would come back for a checkup. Right now, your only concern was getting to wherever Maverick was.
"You"re the most stubborn little thing on God"s green earth, you know that? Lord, help Maverick." He was grumbling, but he opened the door for you anyway and ushered you into his passenger-side seat. "I"ll drive you to his place."
You were anxious the entire way back to base housing, and you practically launched yourself out of the truck when it came to a stop in Maverick"s driveway. "Thanks! Love you!" You shouted over your shoulder to your best friend, but you kept heading to the door.
It swung open before you could knock, and you slipped inside.
He"d been waiting up for you. Or he couldn"t sleep—probably a little of both. His face was red, tears staining his handsome face. His soft, dark hair was a complete mess, like he"d just spent hours running his hands through it. He was a mess, and understandably so. There was nothing you could do to fix this pain, but you could do your best to comfort him as best you knew how.
"Have you eaten?" His eyes were unfocused, but you knew he"d heard and understood you when he shook his head in the negative. "Okay. I know you may not feel like eating, but I"m going to make dinner. After that, I"m thinking a shower and bed."
He doesn"t say much; he just lets you guide him around his house. He sits at the dining room table, watching you move around his kitchen as you use the ingredients you have to make him something to eat. He should be beyond thrilled that you"re here, making him food, but the truth was, he couldn"t feel much of anything right now.
You decided on making pasta with red sauce; it was the best comfort food you could think of. While the noodles boiled away on the stove, you walked over to the table and took the chair next to Maverick. His gaze is unfocused again, and you can"t help but wonder what"s going on inside his head. "Hey, Mav?"
The touch of your hand on his shoulder makes him tense up for a moment; it"s like he didn"t realize it was you at first. Slowly, he relaxes again and turns his head so he can see your face. "Hm?"
You brush your fingers gently through his hair, pushing soft strands of it back off of his forehead. "I"m sorry. I know he was one of your best friends. I wish more than anything that you didn"t have to feel like this." Your touch seems to help a little, he"s leaning into it. "And I know it"s hard, but we"ll get you through this."
He doesn"t say anything for a minute. Just lets you touch him, play with his hair and talk to him. "I"m glad you"re here," He finally says aloud, "Yeah, he was. One of my best friends, I mean. He was there for me, throughout the years, after I lost Goose."
You knew the story, about how Bradley"s father was Maverick"s backseater and best friend, and how he"d died after a catastrophic engine failure and a problem with the canopy not releasing quick enough. The memory of Hangman telling the team that story while Bradley was in the room still haunted you. You knew that memory still haunted Maverick, and you knew he still blamed himself.
"I wish you could have met Ice." He continues, reaching out one shaking hand to take yours. His thick fingers threaded through yours. "He"d have loved you. You"re a lot like I was back when I was in my twenties." You were choosing to take that as a compliment. "We had our differences, me and Ice, but we got close after we graduated Top Gun."
You listened as he told his story. He told you about how Ice supported him throughout the years, being his rock through all the hardships and his dearest friend during the good times. He was a little more animated now, talking about Ice"s children and how they all referred to him as "uncle Mav" and how he had been one of the groomsmen at Ice"s wedding.
"I"m really gonna miss him." He whispers, his voice cracking slightly. He doesn’t push you away when his eyes start to fill with tears, but it’s a very near thing. He’s not used to someone being around like this—someone who wants to hold him and comfort him when he’s hurting. He can’t remember a time where he’s ever felt quite so... cared for. Loved. For a kid who grew up without his dad and a mom who wasted away until she left him, too, this was everything. You were everything.
He watched as you leaned in, pressing your lips to his temple in the sweetest little kiss. “I know, Mav,” you murmured against his feverish skin. “And you will, for a long time. But each day will get easier, and this burden will get a little easier to bear. Until then, just let me help you carry it, okay? This is what I’m here for. The good and the bad, yeah?”
He is the one to hold you now. It was almost unfair how physically strong he was, because the next thing you knew, he was tugging you into his lap and pressing you against his chest. Now he was holding onto you like you were his lifeline, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You let him hold you for a few minutes before you had to kiss the top of his head and pull away to go finish dinner.
He makes a disappointed sound, but he lets you go. You can feel his eyes on you as you move around his kitchen, and it makes a pleasant shiver roll down your spine. You"re here with him, making him dinner and offering your comfort in a way only a partner can, and you couldn"t help but feel like this was always where you were meant to be.
***
After dinner, he helps you clean up. He rinses the dishes while you stack them in the dishwasher. Neither of you say much, but the little brushes of his hands against yours make your stomach flutter.
When the dishes are done, you take one of his hands in your own and lead him down the hall. "Alright. Now that your belly is full, time for a nice hot shower, and then it"s bedtime." You tell him, shooing him off toward his bathroom.
"Wait." Before you can escape, his hand has snagged your wrist and he"s tugging you back into him. "Maybe you can sit with me while I shower? You don"t have to look or anything; I just don"t want to be alone with my thoughts right now." His face is unreadable, but his eyes... he can"t hide what he"s feeling.
"Okay." You agree, your hands resting lightly on his chest. "Whatever you need. Go on in and strip, then let me know when you"re in the shower. I"ll come and sit with you." The relief in his eyes is instant, and you wink at him as he pulls away.
A few moments after he entered the bathroom, he called out to you, and you let yourself in.
"Thanks for doing this." He tells you, and you settle on the floor by the door. "I really appreciate you being here."
You half wonder if you should shower, too. Your hair had to be a mess, and you felt gross from sitting in a hospital bed for several days and nights. "Of course, Mav. I know you"d do the same for me if the situation was reversed. I really care about you."
There"s a split second of silence before he pops his head out of the curtain. His dark hair is plastered to his forehead, and water drips from the curve of his nose. His chest is wet, and your mouth is dry. "I care about you, too." His gaze is as intense as it usually is, and you can"t help the way you squirm.
"I know you do, Mav." You drop your eyes from that patch of wet skin, knowing that you"re probably flushed from staring at him. "I think that"s pretty evident, since you spent three nights by my side in the hospital."
"Speaking of..." He trails off for a minute, and then he sighs. "Get in."
"What?"
"In the shower, sweetheart." He gestures with a quick movement of his head. "It"s been a few days since you"ve showered; I"m sure you"re uncomfortable. There"s plenty of room for the both of us. And I won"t look, if that"s what you"re worried about."
You know you"re safe with him; you"re not worried about that. You are a little worried about yourself trying to catch a peek at him, but you make a decision to nod and stand up from your place on the bathroom floor.
Stripping out of the t-shirt and sweat shorts that Agent had brought to the hospital for you, you fold them neatly and set them on the counter. Then you take a deep breath and step inside the shower.
His smile is sweet and boyish, and, true to his word, his eyes stay on your face. He"s in your space, and his hands touch your arms. For a moment, nothing exists but you and Maverick, together, warm and safe. "Here," You murmur after a moment, snagging a shampoo bottle from the ledge behind him. "Turn around."
He obliges, turning around in the spray, and you can"t help it when your eyes scan over him. He"s got a cute butt, and his shoulders and the dip of his spine makes your mouth water. Your hands are soft when they run through his dark hair, working your fingers in circles to lather up the soap.
The pleased groan he makes has your stomach swooping, and you grin. "You"re like a cat, Mav. Just need food and a little love, huh?" You murmur, leaning forward to press a kiss to one shoulder. You catch the way he shivers at your touch.
"Seems like it." He answers, and he hasn"t moved an inch since your hands settled in his hair. He"s just in the moment, letting your touch chase away the feeling of grief, even for just a moment. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
That makes you smile, and when the water has washed away the last of the shampoo, he turns around and smiles down at you. Your fingers ghost over his jaw, and your eyes flicker from his down to his lips and back again. "I think all you really had to do was be yourself, Mav. That"s all."
His gaze softens, and he leans in. Your breath catches in your throat, but you don"t move as the space between you becomes nonexistent.
His lips are surprisingly soft. It"s a stark contrast to his work worn hands, the ones currently cupping your face with such care that it makes your stomach once again erupt into butterflies. He keeps it light, soft, warm... like he doesn"t want to push too far, take too much, and risk scaring you away.
The groan he makes when your teeth nip his lower lip makes the waiting worth while. And the way he licks into your mouth when you open up for him makes your knees so weak that you have to slip your arms around his neck to keep from falling.
He presses you against him, careful not to brush against your stitches. He lets it continue for a moment before he pulls his lips away from you. "As much as I"d like to continue this, one of us is physically injured, and the other is not all mentally there."
"I know, Mav. Just kisses are good enough for me." You brush a lock of wet hair off of his forehead and smile. "Now, help me wash my hair?"
***
Half an hour later, you"re both clean and curled up in Maverick"s bed. You"re wearing one of his old Top Gun t-shirts and a clean pair of boxers, and he"s wearing just a pair of sweatpants. He looks so good, and you marvel at the fact that this man is all yours.
Moving onto your side, you prop your head up in a hand and just watch him. He"s staring at the ceiling, his eyes far away, but they refocus when he sees you move. "Hm?"
"Nothing." Your free hand comes to rest on his chest, fingertips brushing over the skin and soft hair you find there. "Just admiring, that"s all. You"re very handsome."
His larger hand settles over yours, and his blue eyes flicker over your face. At last, his beautiful smile over takes his face. "Oh yeah?" There"s that mischievious personality you"ve come to know and love.
"Yeah." You lean in, dropping a kiss on his forehead. "I got lucky in the soulmate area, you"re kinda hot, Mav."
"And you"re beautiful." He answers, turning his head so he can get his lips on yours again. He tastes like his mint toothpaste, and he smells like him, all of it plus the warmth of his skin makes your head spin. Despite your best efforts, and his, you were in love with Pete Mitchell.
When he lets you go, you curl up with your head on his chest, just as you had last night. It"s almost instinctual, seeking out his warmth. "Goodnight, Pete."
"Goodnight, sweetheart."