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The Missing Years

Chapter 14: Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Summary:

Beverly's and Jack thoughts before and after recording the rescue message

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The Eleos was hiding in the Ryton nebula. The ship was badly damaged, with no chance for a stop at a starbase and bribe or trade for supplies and spare parts. Beverly was watching her console dejectedly, trying to think of a way out of their predicament. For the nth time she thought about messaging Jean-Luc. Every time, though, she retreated from that thought. What would she say?  Hi, Jean-Luc, sorry to call you, but I need a rescue. And, by the way, it’s not just me, our son too. She chuckled softly to herself and thought, -If it were me on the receiving end of that message, I would send myself to hell.

 

Jack heard her chuckle and looked sideways at her “Mom, what’s so funny? I don’t believe the Eleos is telling you any jokes from that console.”

 

“Sorry honey, just me imagining your father’s reaction if I sent him a message asking to be rescued” her voice caught.

 

Jack heard the catch, but instead chose to saya “Mom, we have been over this many times over the past few weeks. We get out of this ourselves, same as we have been doing for the past two years. No calling the Admiral for a rescue.”

 

With a tired sigh, Beverly told him “Jack, we are running out of options. The Eleos is badly damaged. Our engineering skills combined without spare parts aren’t enough to repair it. If we had your brother and Geordi and Data together, maybe they could rig something. Sooner or later, you will have to accept that we must risk sending a message for a rescue. If not your father, I’ll reach out to Riker, see if we can get hold of him. Your aunt Kate would be my first choice, but she disappeared before we left.”

 

“Or I could just go over to them, see what they want from me.” Jack said casually.

 

“You aren’t going anywhere. We left to keep you safe. I’m not handing you to whomever is searching for you.” Beverly retorted forcefully.

 

Ever since his mother had come into his room two years ago and had told him to pack quickly and lightly, he had been wondering what or whom were they running from, so he asked “What exactly is it that we are running away from mom? What are you so afraid of?”

 

“Call it a hunch. Something that has served me well over the years. Your father has made his share of enemies over the years. Some of them even probably realized that I was a way to get back at him. If somehow your identity has leaked, you are in danger. Whom exactly, I don’t know.”

 

Jack felt the knot of anxiety forming around his stomach when he asked “Mom, I’m not a kid. You can tell me. Were you ever harmed, menaced?”

 

“Yes, honey. Your father never knew. I took my concerns to our Security Chief. He told me he had taken care of it. He never told me what he had done.” Beverly’s eyes took a faraway look. She had never told Jean-Luc of the insulting, anonymous messages that from time to time appeared in her inbox. The menaces that she found on her desk after returning Jean-Luc from Locutus. All those times, she had forwarded the messages to Worf, who just said that he would take care of it.

 

Jack sat in silence, intently monitoring the sensors, watching out for The Shrike. Thinking over what his mother had just told him, he stole another look. His mother looked tired, dark shadows under her eyes. These past few weeks of running and hiding were taking an enormous toll on her. He decided to speak his mind, “Mom, please, go and get some rest. I stay here and monitor the sensors. I can also begin to work with some repairs.”

 

Her first impulse was to retort that she was fine, but the truth was she was really tired. For now, things were quiet. So maybe it was indeed a safe moment to lay down for a while. “All right honey, I go to my cabin for a while. Call me anytime. And see if you can do something to speed up the charging time of the phaser bank”

 

Jack watched his mother standing with hooded eyes “Mom, since when it’s our priority weapons over the medical bay or the engines.”

 

Beverly fixed her son with a steely stare. “Since survival has turned to be our priority, Jack. Please wake me up in four or five hours” She turned around and left Jack alone on the bridge to go to her cabin. Once there, she still felt to. keyed up to try to sleep, so she went to her monitor screen and put on some of Jean-Luc’s Enterprise logs. She needed to hear his voice -for strength and reassurance. Also, maybe those logs would jolt her memory and allow her to devise a way out without having to call for help. She went to lie down on her bed, still listening to the logs. The one she was listening to was before he was abducted and transformed into Locutus. It was not a good memory to help her at that moment. Even after 35 years, Locutus still hurt her deeply. Leaving the log playing in the background, Beverly called the computer for their playlist. The memory of their love lulled her to sleep.

 

The blaring of the intruder alert woke her abruptly. Her first thought was of Jack. Getting up from the bed, Beverly hurriedly went to secure the bridge door, locking Jack from the outside. Then she went to her small armory. After taking a phaser rifle, she made her way to the cargo bay, where, according to the Eleos, the intruders had boarded the ship. Beverly waited hiding behind some crates. Chirping, clicking sounds alerted her of the nearness of the intruders. They looked like no species she had encountered before, dressed in flowing brown robes and sporting a beaked mask. Briefly, she regretted not having her medical tricorder on hand to scan them. The invaders saw her and opened fire. She returned fire, hitting one of them squarely and bringing him down. Before she had time to duck, the other fired and it hit her in the right shoulder. The pain was intense, but Beverly managed to ignore it. Ducking low, she tried to track the intruders’ movements around the cargo bay. She saw its image reflected on one of the crates. It was difficult to get to him without being seen. She had to create a diversion. Beverly looked around her frantically, trying to come up with something. Then she saw the overhead pipes, that was her diversion. She fired at one of the pipes, which began leaking coolant. The subsequent fog gave her the cover she needed to get closer to the intruder and fire at him. Once he was down, Beverly got closer and without hesitation vaporized him. She looked at the pile of ashes and felt a brief pang of guilt and regret. What am I becoming? Is my need to protect Jack powerful enough to make me forget the Hippocratic Oath? It was short lived though, the pain was enough to cut any train of thought, any introspection.

 

With measured steps, Beverly returned to the bridge, one hand applying pressure to the wound. Quite useless, she could see as her blood continued to seep. Well Beverly, this is your decision made for you. Now it’s time for Jean-Luc to watch over Jack. She sat next to the comms console and slowly, deliberately, recorded and sent her message. As a precaution, she re-sent it to William Riker. One of them would come, hopefully both, maybe even together. It took all her remaining energy. She finished recording her message and collapsed in front of the console, taking ragged breaths and trying to control the pain.

 

“Q where are you? This would be a good moment for you to fulfill your promise. I really need you. I can’t wait for Jean-Luc to come, if he comes at all.” With that last thought of Q, Beverly lost consciousness.

 

Jack was working frantically on the door panel, trying to override his mother’s lock code. Watching with increasing worry her collapsed form, noting that her breathing was getting shallower. Finally, he managed to open the door and go to her. Kneeling next to his mother, with his tricorder already out, he scanned her. If to the naked eye the wound looked bad, the readings in his tricorder were even worse. A punctured subclavian, extensive muscle damage around the shoulder, a collapsed lung and profuse bleeding.

 

Frantically searching in his medikit for a hypospray, he urged “Mom, please. Talk to me.” He injected her with a painkiller and tried to run the protoplaser over the wound, but it didn’t stop bleeding, much less close the gaping wound. Another hypospray, with a coagulant, still nothing. He packed the wound tightly with sealant packs, which slowed the bleeding, but didn’t stop it completely. Beverly stayed unconscious during the process. From his readings it appeared that the blast had been laced with some sort of toxin which inhibited blood clotting. In a fully operational sickbay with some help, he might be able to isolate the toxin and get an antidote. On the Eleos, alone and scared, Jack knew his chances were negligible.

 

Beverly slowly opened her eyes, to see Jack concerned ones fixed on her. With a supreme effort, she managed to whisper ,“Honey, place me on stasis. The medipod will help me. I sent a message to your father. If he comes, please follow everything he says, no questioning, no doubts. Do as if it were me giving you directions. I also sent it to Riker. Hopefully, one of them will come. Hide as deep as you can inside the nebula and play dead”

 

“Mom, please. Stay with me, keep talking. I need you.” Jack pleaded while keeping his eyes on the tricorder. Her vitals were so faint they barely registered. He had never felt so lost in his life. His one fixed constant, his mother was dying, and he was unable to help her.

 

“Jack baby, I love you so much. Tell you father…” The last words drained all her remaining energy and Beverly fainted. Her last conscious thought had been. Tell your father that I still love him.

 

Jack left his mother lying on the floor. After covering her with a warm blanket, he stood up and went to set up the medipod. Returning to her, Jack gathered her in his arms and tenderly carried her and placed her inside the medipod. He closed the door and started the stasis field. Closing the door felt like closing her coffin door. Peering intently into the display, Jack could see her vitals stabilizing as the medipod took over her vital functions. He set the alarms and with a weary sigh returned to the controls.

 

He could see no trace of The Shrike, maybe his mother vaporizing the intruders had scared them. For a while at least. They were being hunted, that much he knew. Why was he wanted? Was his mother right, and it was related to his father?  Questions for which he, Jack Crusher, had no answers. Distractedly, he punched his control board and took Eleos deeper into the nebula.

 

Then he went to the phaser bank controls, as his mother had requested. Working alone, he had all the time in the galaxy to think. If there was one thing that Jack absolutely hated was waiting and sitting still. Like his father, he needed to be on the move, to solve problems. Waiting passively to be rescued held no appeal for him. He was extremely worried for his mother. The medipod was keeping her alive, barely. But if Eleos continued with its cascade failure, soon the medipod would run out of power. She would die. He felt keenly his failure to help her with her wounds. It engendered guilt and self-flagellation what kind of doctor am I that I can’t treat mom’s wound, Jack kept telling himself. His rational brain tried to remind him that such a wound on a ship really low on medical supplies with a medical staff of exactly one was very difficult to treat. His mother’s only chance at survival came from the stasis field.

 

Loneliness set his imagination on fire. The voices that he hadn’t heard in years came back. They were whispering in his mind, “Jack, my son. Come home Jack. We are waiting for you.” It was his mother’s voice. After the voices came the hallucinations flashes of red bolts; roots and vines, connecting with each other, reaching out to him. At some point, it became so intense that he caught his hand rubbing his medal absentmindedly. The voices receded to the background.

 

“Mom, I need you,” he whispered into the emptiness of Eleos’ bridge. His mother had been his guiding force for his entire life. Now, he felt lost. What do I tell my father when, if he appears? He wondered, Hi dad, nice to meet you. Dad, it was not a word he could pin on the Admiral. Father, sure, if anything half his genes came from him. Dad meant love and presence and care. Those were things he had not experienced. All in all, it was not the ideal setting for meeting the man, especially without his mother to act as the catalyst between them.

 

Finally, he managed to quiet his mind enough that, dead tired, he drifted off to sleep. Surrounded by the playlist, which had not stopped playing, it somehow let him feel his mother’s love, protecting him, even when unconscious in the medipod.

 

 

Beverly regained consciousness briefly when Jack placed her in the medipod. The intense pain gave her a brief moment of awareness before the drugs slowed her metabolism enough for the stasis field to do its job. She felt herself floating. After the anguish of the attack, this was so peaceful.

 

An intense flash of white light filled her vision. When it receded, she was surprised to see Jack. He looked exactly as she had seen him for the last time, leaving home after his last shore leave to return to the Stargazer. She whispered in wonder, “Jack”

 

With a fond smile, he answered, “Bev, hi. It´s not your time. You must return. Jean-Luc is coming for you.”

 

The mention of his name jolted her “Jack, did you know?”

 

Still smiling, Jack answered, “I always knew Bev. I also knew he would not say anything. I was happy when you were together. I could not hope for a better choice to take care of you, to love you. Find your way back to him. You have my blessings. Always.”

 

She extended her hands which Jack took in his, smiling, he kissed her palm and slowly faded away. Beverly felt devastated. It was like facing his death all over again. Then, she heard another loved voice ¨Beverly, my child”

 

“Nana," her beloved grandmother came closer.

 

"My child, as happy as I am to see you, it´s not your time as Jack said. Your man is coming for you. I´m proud of that great-grandson. You did a great job with him."

 

“My man Nana?” Beverly asked, it was a strange choice of words for her grandmother.

 

“Yes, my child. Your man, Jean-Luc. From the moment I met him, I knew you were intended to be together. It helped me to die in peace, knowing that at some point you would get together, and he would take care of you, love you. You must find a way to be together again. It is meant to be” Nana got closer and embraced her tenderly.

 

Beverly closed her eyes, enjoying the familiar touch. Then she felt only darkness enveloping her and then oblivion.

 

 

Hiding in the Ryton Nebula, Wesley was watching the scene on the Eleos with increasing worry. He urged, “Q, come on, they need you, they need us. You know I can’t go to them.”

 

Wesley felt a light brush against his mind and a weak voice, “Traveler, I can’t help your family. I’m too weak. Helping Jean-Luc that last time robbed me of my remaining energy. I don’t have enough power left. I must die and regenerate.”

 

“Come on Q. You are all powerful and immortal. Don’t give me that shit of death as an excuse. You promised mom. You promised me.” Wesley cajoled, putting all the anguish he felt in his words.

 

“Do I feel powerful to you now Traveler?” Q asked weakly. He appeared next to Wesley, his figure a miniature, his usual aura dim, his voice weak and ragged.

 

It was true, this Q had nothing to do with the being he had known both on the Enterprise and during his years as a Traveler. Trying to swallow his grief and tears, Wesley insisted “Q, you promised mom you would help her if the need arose. Now that time has come. Save her and my brother. If not you, maybe Lady Q can give you the boost you need. Or Junior.”

 

Looking at him sadly, Q replied “Traveler. It’s my promise to keep, not theirs. But even if I wanted and had the energy. I couldn’t interfere. Look closely at the timeline. It’s meant to be as it is. It’s for Jean-Luc to rescue them. I might have enough energy left to prod him a little in the right direction, but that’s the sum of my meddling.”

 

Wesley did as Q told him. It was true, his family’s timeline was getting close to the moment it would straighten itself and return to its intended course. They could not interfere. If in all his years as a Traveler Wesley had regretted his decision, it was precisely at this moment. Floating in a nebula just outside Federation space, watching powerless as his injured mother was placed in stasis and his little brother was left alone and lost in a broken ship, and waiting for a rescue that might never come.

 

Notes:

My nth rewatch of Picard prompted this. On the anniversary of the airing of S3. Ch1 "The Next Generation" What Jack and Beverly discussed before being boarded by the Changelings. Jack's thoughts after he placed his mother on stasis. As usual, thanks Mel.

Notes:

At the end of "No Win Scenario" We see Jack wearing a medal. Twitter was abuzz with especulation about it's origin. This is my take on It. I refuse to believe that Wesley would abandon his family, even if he was banned from visiting them.
As for Q, well, he is not tormenting JL, so he is less obnoxious.