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Have you ever been chasing a dream? Something you barely even half remember but a single moment of which sticks in your head and refuses to come loose? Like when you get something stuck in your teeth, and you can’t just ignore it because you’re constantly aware of it, but you also can’t seem to get it either. So you just wait and wait and hope to the stars above that somehow it’ll magically get better?
I have.
My room shows it, too. Every day when I get up to my obnoxious Alarm™ sponsored by Kellogg’s™, the first thing I see are the drawings. Five petals, each pointed and tapering in a beautiful way. Green and brown vines, twisting together. Not that I’m a good artist, but I didn’t want to forget.
Two years ago I was trying to avoid thinking about my dead end job, so I was mindlessly flipping through shows on my piece of garbage screen. Most of them were in the standard Hour of Commercials that happened every day at 1700, so I wasn’t really paying attention, but it beat lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling while wishing I had something soft to cuddle.
And then I flipped to a new channel. Somehow, the Affini Compact had managed to squeeze one of their shows into a slot normally reserved for a 24/7 showing of endless Amazon-Netflix™ products. I watched first in confusion, then growing curiosity as for the next hour I was shown a new way of life. Affini would come up with one or more of their terran pets -their florets-, and I would watch as they talked about how they didn’t have to work anymore. They lived in clean and soft houses, they got free healthcare, they got practically anything and everything they asked for. And in exchange? They didn’t have to do anything besides be the best pet they could be.
It was right at the end that I saw Her, though. In the background while a floret rambled on about ‘xenodrugs’, there was an affini who was in the corner, half-turned away from the camera. She was talking to another one I think, but I couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention to them. I was completely hooked on the one I saw.
Something about how she stood, or perhaps the way the sky blue flowers down her arms fluttered in the breeze, or the way she tilted her head back when she laughed. Whatever it was, I pressed my face up against the screen in an attempt to drink in every detail I could see. I was in awe.
And then the broadcast finally got shut down, only two seconds after I saw her. The screen went black, and all I saw was my reflection staring back at me, alone in my room.
I did everything I could do, of course. I drew the figure over and over, trying to commit each detail to reality. I painted my ceiling the exact same shade of blue. I found fake flowers that were the right shape, painted them that blue, and then hung them in the corners.
I was, to put it mildly, obsessed with her. I couldn’t even explain why I was; it was like I was drawn to her in a way that never made sense. Something about her just fit into my heart so smoothly and easily that I just didn’t stand a chance.
There’s only one little problem. The Terran Accord was at war with the Affini Compact, and (even two years later) I had yet to even meet one single affini in person. I still caught bits of their broadcasts every now and then. Not often at first, but with growing regularity over the next two years. By today, I was able to keep something from them onscreen near constantly if desired. Which yes, I did desire. I never saw Her again, though. Stars know I looked, of course. I think I knew more about the Compact than some florets at this point. And I also looked at other affini too! But none of them sank into my soul like She did.
And yeah, I definitely had some fantasies and dreams as well. I'm a bit…or a lot of a romantic. I wrote cute little stories about us, about her finding me and sweeping me off my feet, about her saving me from the life I was forced to live. Of her whispering sweet seductive words into my ear, while she quietly collars me. Stars, I wanted that more than I wanted to breathe.
I may have, um, posted some of it online…and then uh… been called a plantfucker for it. Which was unfortunate.
I sighed and stood, getting dressed quickly. Salacia Station was the largest mining platform that orbited Neptune, and it always took a few minutes to get to work from my place. The entire Station was dirty and greasy, as the cleaning bots were looooong since decommissioned to increase quarterly profits. Nowadays, you were expected to keep your own place clean, and ignore the rest. Trash piled up in corners, and only the major paths were kept relatively free of the smell. My door was airtight for a reason.
I crossed the walkway and headed for the station's Town Square equivalent. It was still pretty early out, so not many were walking around yet, thankfully. It was going to be another quiet and…somewhat peaceful day, where I worked my hands to the bone so I could continue scraping by. I probably would have given up by now if I hadn’t committed to staying alive for the affini I had seen. I didn’t want to let her down.
I was about halfway across the massive square when alarms rang out in unison, causing me to jump about a foot in the air. About half a second later an absolutely massive ship jumped in next to the station. It completely dwarfed us, blotting out the weak starlight of our sun easily. Bright lights flashed on from the craft, lighting up the whole place more than it had seen in decades at least. I stumbled to the ground in shock, landing flat on my ass. My eyes remained locked on the ship. An affini ship.
Salacia Station was pretty much entirely undefended from something like this. A couple of pirates trying to snatch and grab is one thing; a warship the size of a small country is another. The other few people I could see held their breath and waited, watching.
There was a quiet awe as hundreds of ships came streaming out of the craft. They flew over to our hanger and then out of sight, before suddenly reappearing inside the dome that covered the Station. Each one adjusted their angle slightly, quickly making for a different part in a clear plan. Quite a few were beelining directly for the square, though. Which might not have been so terrifying if I hadn't been sitting smack dab in the middle of it.
The other scant few terrans in the square had long since fled, so when the various craft silently touched down, I was alone. They each blocked an exit out of the square, though the largest one landed in near the exact middle…about five feet away from me. I tried to get my legs to move, to run, but it was like everything was made out of jelly.
It was sleek and beautiful, with a large door directly in front of me. Vine detailing wrapped around each part, giving it a plantlike appearance that was gorgeous to behold. For my part, I stayed stock still, hoping that somehow their vision was somehow based on movement. The door opened silently and smoothly, revealing at least five affini staring down at me. The middle one, who was covered in cream and white flowers, extended a hand down to me. When she spoke, her voice was high and light.
“Hello petal~ Who might you be?”
Oh, crumbs.
I fainted dead away.
“...Cutie? Hello? Are you…ah, theeeere we go. Rise and shine, dear. That's it, open your eyes now, come on~”
I groaned, trying to sit up and failing completely. When I opened my eyes, all I could see at first was vines. So many vines. Greens in all manner of shades wound together beautifully in complex braids and patterns, drawing my eyes up her limbs and to a very bemused-looking face.
“Um, hi?” I eloquently said. Her eyes swirled with greens and golds in a pretty vortex, and her white and cream flowers twisted slightly.
“You are just the cutest little thing, aren’t you?”
That got me to blush. “U-um, sorry! I’m taken.” I tried and failed to sit up again, but I could actually tell why it was so hard this time. I wasn’t on the ground, I was laying in her lap, with a lush blanket of her vines completely wrapping around me into a burrito. “Can you let me go?”
She ignored my second question. “What do you mean ‘taken’, petal? Do you have a cute little pinnate somewhere? We didn’t see them when we landed.”
“I-its a long story? I’m trying to find one of you…I saw them in one of your broadcasts, and, um…” I trailed off at the sight of the affini’s eyes flooding with purple, as if someone had poured the color in from the edges.
“In that case, I simply must help you find them. Please, it would be my deep honor to do so. My name is Rahla, and my pronouns are she/her; what might yours be?”
I gulped. “Newt. They/them.”
Rahla blinked. “Your name is…Newt? Like the animal?” I nodded shyly. I had another name, but it didn’t fit, so I had been Newt for a while at this point. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mx. Newt. How about we get you over to our Mobile Domestication Center, and see if we can’t find you your affini.”
She stood up easily, taking me with her. I was suddenly very glad I was wrapped so tightly, or else I probably would have squealed and writhed in fear. As it was…I just squealed, and slightly wiggled. Rahla was walking back towards the large ship in the center of the town square, which had unfolded its walls upward, creating a hardshell canopy to set up things underneath. There were already several dozen affini busy doing various activities with tablets, setting up desks, and…at least three of them signing paperwork? I shook my head in the sheer efficient insanity of it all. They were an invading force conquering a station, but they were acting as if it was humanitarian aid. Xenoitarian aid? Something like that.
Rahla headed for a specific other plant with much darker vines, and spoke animatedly with them for several minutes. During this time, I was squeezed, petted, gently poked, petted more, and then finally sat down on a desk, facing Rahla. She looked pleased with herself.
“Alright then dear, here’s what we will do. I would like for you to give me any information you can on this affini you saw. Name, bloom count, flowers, if they had a floret…anything will help. Based on that, we can begin the process of searching through a database, and see what all can be found. Admittedly, we normally use this database for lost florets, which usually lets us utilize their haustoria, but we think we can tweak it to allow for something like this.”
She extended a vine and gently laid it in my lap. After a moment's hesitation, I took it in my hands, fidgeting with it a little. It felt just the right amount of squishy, and was firm at the core.
Rahla cleared her throat, and I realized I had gotten distracted just playing with her vine. Oops. She gave me a smile though, so I think she didn’t mind that much.
“Newt, start whenever you’re ready.”
I nodded, pulling every detail I could out of my head. “Um, She was…tall? A-and with lots of vines, and…they were green and brown? I didn’t, um…I didn’t really…she wasn’t one of the main speakers at the time, she was off to the side and talking to someone else, and she wasn’t facing the camera.” I belatedly realized I probably narrowed down the search from ‘every affini ever’ to ‘every affini ever’. Crestfallen, I slumped, squeezing Rahla’s vine tightly. “S-sorry…”
Her vine wrapped around my hand immediately, squeezing firmly back. “That’s ok petal; how about her name, then? Or if she was with a floret?”
I started to shake slightly. I had no idea what her name was, or if she had a floret. Oh crumbs, what if she already had a floret? What if she didn’t want any others? Or what if she didn’t like me? What if-
I was scooped off the table in one smooth motion, while at the same time Rahla’s vine blanket wrapped around me, the heavy feeling applying an even and wonderful amount of pressure. At the same time, I saw a large white flower with huge petals come up from below and wrap itself around my lower face, tickling my nose slightly.
“Breathe petal. Just breathe.” The blanket applied slightly more pressure than normal, then less, then repeated; I felt my hyperventilating gasps get curtailed to fit the undulating squeezes. As I inhaled, I felt misty particles swirl deep into my lungs, and shortly later felt the anxiety loosen its hold on my brain and stomach. Oh, this felt…nice…
“There we go~ Just like that, Newt. I know it’s scary right now, but cuties like you don’t need to worry about big things like that.” She began to slowly brush through my hair as she spoke, and I felt my whole face light up in a blush. I felt the vines squeeze again, and I looked up at her gentle smile.
“Petal, can you name five things you can see?”
I nodded, and my voice came out a little muffled and tired sounding, but otherwise fine. “The roof. Vine blanket. Flower. Sky. Y-you.”
The petting increased. “Good~ Very good, little one. What about four things you can feel?”
That one was a bit easier. “Vine blanket. Mask. Your lap. Your hand.”
“Now, three things you can hear?”
“Papers rustling. Footsteps. Your…your voice.” I blushed again for some reason. If she noticed, she payed it no mind.
“Two things you can smell.”
“Grease, and…” I was going to say ‘oil’, but I noticed another smell wafting in. “...and flowers? O-or fruit?”
She nodded. “Absolutely. Now, what is one thing you can taste?” I breathed in deeply, tasting the pollen in the air.
“Um…berries?”
“That’s very, very good Newt. You did so well~ Do you feel better now?” I nodded again, and honestly I did. Between the pressure from the blanket, the drugs, and the…whatever that just was, I felt a lot more calm. A lot more safe.
A very quiet, very small part of me wondered if maybe just asking to be Rahla’s floret wouldn’t be better, and easier. The rest of me immediately rejected the idea, though. I wasn’t going to betray Her, just because a very pretty…and kind…and comfy affini was nice to me. I was going to be strong for Her.
Rahla continued, “In that case, I have an idea. But you’re going to have to be very, very brave for me. I used to work in the broadcasting department for Domestication, and I still am on very good terms with everyffini there. I want to try and see if, by asking and answering these questions on-air, we can have everyone in the Compact help you find Her, ok?”
I didn’t really have a chance to say no before I was picked up and brought with her. The drugs kept me from worrying about it too much, thankfully, but it was still concerning, to be sure. Me, speak in front of trillions of others? Stars, that’s a lot to consider.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have long to consider either. The broadcasting ship was only on the other side of the courtyard, and they had already unpacked and begun using their equipment, testing various angles and lining up some florets with their affini. I saw how each and every single floret around me had on the floret outfits -the dresses, the nice shirts, the flowery motifs- and I squirmed, managing to get as hand free after some effort. I pointed over at the florets.
“Rahla, um…can I…can I get some of those clothes too? So I don’t…I don’t want to disappoint her…” Despite everything, I was still a bundle of nerves. I had been waiting two years for this moment; I absolutely could not mess it up.
I felt a comforting squeeze from Rahla’s vines.
“You are almost too adorable for words, little one. Now to be clear: while you would never disappoint a single member of the Compact for something like that, we can absolutely compile you some companion attire. What color should it be in?”
I smiled. Finally, a question I could answer. And a few short minutes later, I was changing into the exact outfit for myself I had planned for years now.
The sky blue shirt was longer than a normal one, something like a nightgown almost. The off-white pants were still a hard requirement though, or else I would’ve flashed near everyone around me with my bits. I insisted on the flower designs being the same five-petal ones that I remembered from the video. I couldn’t remember exactly what they were like, so I just used the ones in my room instead. Add all that with a simple pair of white flats, and I felt ready.
The sleeves of the shirt felt smooth and nice against my skin when I stepped out of the bathroom and waved for Rahla to come back over. Now I looked like I fit in with the other fl…the other terrans. A bunch of them looked at me with huge smiles, as if they were so excited to see someone else being happy.
And I was happy. I was also nervous, excited, in shock, bewildered, and possibly just anxious, even through the xenodrugs. I also was finally starting to notice just how tall all of the affini are. Everything around me was them sized, and I felt weirdly small next to all of it…until I looked back out at the rest of the Station. It was like there was a microcosm of large nestled within normality. I couldn’t help but wiggle with glee, just a bit. It was finally happening! I didn’t have to work anymore! I could be me!
Rahla stepped up next to me and scooped me up in one smooth motion, something I was not planning on. I yelped and flailed, ending up needing to lean against her chest just to feel stable. The braided vines made for excellent handholds, at least. Rahla just rumbled in laughter, which caused me to blush again. How was she so good at doing that?
“Newt, are you ready? It’s going to be much like before, where I will be asking you questions. All you have to do is answer them as honestly as you can, and we’ll take care of the rest.” I nodded, trusting her to take care of it. In the span of a day, I had gone from never being able to see Her again, to having so many actively trying to help me; I felt unbelievably lucky.
Rahla walked over to an absolutely massive park bench, which I assumed they had brought with them as a prop for their videos. In front of me was a collection of five or six different camera things on robots, so they could smoothly be piloted around. I was placed on one side of the bench, and Rahla soon joined me on the other side. She gave me a smile and a nod, as if silently saying you can do this, I believe in you.
“And five…four…three…two…” The affini counting down lowered a hand for each number, and silently lowered the last one, nodding at Rahla. For her part, she crossed her legs at the knee, placed her hands in her lap, and began in a smooth and calm voice.
“Welcome or welcome back, dearlings. This is a special broadcast, coming to you from Salacia Station, orbiting Neptune of the Terran Sol System. As you can see-'' She gestured around her with a small laugh, “-Its a bit of a work in progress, but we simply couldn’t wait a moment longer to help this little one next to me. My name is Rahla Neresse, Third Bloom, and pronouns she/her. This cutie is Newt, and with pronouns of they/them.” I looked away trying to hide my blush at another compliment. Unfortunately, all I managed to do was look directly at another camera, which was being piloted by an affini who was wiggling fingers at me.
“Now, while Newt certainly looks and acts the part, they are not currently a floret. However, they are looking for a very special someone in their life! About two terran cycles ago…” She went on to explain each and every detail I had given her, while making sure to add in a healthy amount of flirts and compliments that soon had me almost wriggling in my chair from embarrassment. At one point she gave me one of her vines, and I immediately began to fidget with it, trying to expel my energy.
She eventually got to the end. “Now, we will be asking little Newt here a few questions. What I would love for the viewers at home to do is try to solve the mystery for us! If you do, please contact this station on your tablets, and let us know! We will be reading each and every comment. Of course, we will also accept compliments or praise for Newt as well, so don’t be shy!~ Now then, Mx. Newt.” She turned her body slightly to face mine, and I gulped. I tried to remember what all a floret was expected to be and say. I was pretty sure even non-Owners got nice titles too. When my voice came out, it was soft and timid.
“Yes, Miss Rahla?” She twitched slightly, but smiled widely at the answer. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back for my excellent detective work.
“Dear, you earlier said that you wanted to wear these colors and patterns for a reason. Am I to take that to mean that these colors and flowers belong to your Affini?” I nodded rapidly.
“Y-yes Miss, I…I don’t remember the exact flower details, but I remember they had five petals, so I found some similar terran flowers to keep at home, and to use on the shirt. Thank you for the clothes, by the way? They’re very, um, soft.”
The color of Rahla’s eyes, an already beautiful swirl of green and gold, was now joined by specks of purple as well. “Everbloom, but you’re just adorable. I’ll refrain from giving you a reward for being so good so we can keep going. Now then: when you saw Her on the broadcast, do you remember who was in front of or behind her in line? Maybe we could find one of them, instead.”
That confused me. “I’m sorry Rahla. Er, I mean Miss Rahla! But, um…in line? I don’t…I don’t understand?”
She patted my head gently, and I had to suppress a hum of appreciation.
“Ah, my apologies dear. When we have guests and speakers on the show, we have them line up, so we know what order they go in. Do you remember anything about some of the others in that line?”
I shook my head. “Um, she wasn’t in a line. She was standing by herself, talking to someone else, I think? Is that important?”
Rahla had gone stock still, as if thinking to herself, before her eyes fully were subsumed in purple and gold. They were starting to get distracting, but I was always told to try and keep eye contact when doing something important like this. “Yes…yes, I think it helps quite a bit, actually. You mentioned earlier that she had brown and green vines. I had assumed you meant brown roots, but you meant the vines themselves were brown, yes?” I nodded, confused. “And what about her hair? What did her hair look like?”
I racked my brain for the right answer. “She, um, had it in a ponytail…thing, with a single flower on the side of her head, I think.” It was getting harder and harder to think, with her eyes flickering and swirling around like that. I felt her vine begin to thrum as well, to the same beat, the same rhythm. I blinked, slowly.
“I see, dear. And if you were to find her, what do you plan on doing, exactly?”
I blushed deeply crimson, but…I could trust Rahla, right? It must be important. “I wanted to…to…ask her a question.” I couldn’t say it, it was too embarrassing, too much. Her smile was wicked and wide.
“Oh, I see. Were you perhaps planning on begging to be her wonderful, doted upon, happy and lovely little floret?”
I squeaked in affirmation.
“Oh, wonderful~. Now, can you do something for me while I talk to the viewers?” She had wrapped several vines around me, and I felt myself lifted into her lap, facing her. Up close, her eyes were blindingly bright, and filled my vision completely. I felt her wipe away a drop of drool coming out of my mouth, which was awfully nice of her.
“Newt, I want you to take a nice nap for a while. Can you do that for me?” I nodded, and then slumped forward into a dreamless sleep.
I woke up for the third time that day confused and disoriented. I was lying on my horrible couch in my apartment, and I heard someone fussing around in my kitchen. In front of me was not my normal television screen, but a much larger and fancier one. It had been turned on, and was currently showing a broadcast from the affini. There was a plant next to two florets, both of which were beaming with joy. I smiled back at them sadly, wishing that was me already.
“Miss Rahla? Um…is that you?” I called out to the noises. Her musical voice floated back in response.
“Yes it is, little one. You were quite tired after helping us find your affini so you took a quick nap. I pulled up your data and brought you back home, which was about…oh, an hour or so ago? How do you feel?”
I rubbed at my eyes, glad to see I was still wearing the soft and nice clothing and not my worker’s jumpsuit. “I feel, um…a bit weird? I think my brain hasn’t caught up to everything that happened today.”
Laughter from my kitchen. I swayed slightly in time with it, then shook myself out of it as she spoke again. “Oh, you and I both, I think. Tell me, does the video on the screen remind you of anything? It’s voice controlled, so just say what you want it to do.”
I nodded, blushed as I realized she probably couldn’t see me, then looked at the screen more closely. Something about it did seem familiar…wait. No. No way.
I squealed in joy at seeing the setting, the lighting, the camera angles. “Rahla, you found it! Ohmystarsandgartersohjeezohcrumbsohfu-”
“Language, petal. I’ll be in in a minute; why don’t you try and find the one you’re looking for?”
I waited and watched intently, focused entirely on the screen. After a minute, I heard Rahla enter behind me and wrap herself around me on my couch. I was too laser focused on the screen to really care, though. I was pretty sure it was coming up pretty soon and…yes. YES!
“P-pause!”
The screen froze just perfectly, showing her, the affini, My affini. She was talking, just like I said. She had the ponytail, and the flower, and the green and brown vines. I knew it! We found her!
I felt tears of happiness well up in my eyes. With this, I was sure we could meet up with her soon. I was positive. Oh stars, I wasn’t ready for this…
A leaf gently wiped my tears away, and I leaned into it unconsciously. Rahla cooed, an unexpected sound. “Now petal, I have some good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”
I froze, just like the screen. Bad news? Why? What happened? I bit my lip nervously. “Bad first, um. Please.”
Rahla squeezed me in a gentle hug. “Do you know what reblooming is, petal?” I shook my head no; it wasn’t something that ever came up in the broadcasts. “It's something that affini do every once in a great long while. When we get too old, or too hurt, we are reborn anew, so we can continue to be caregivers of the universe. Now that affini on the screen, right there? I happen to know she has rebloomed since this recording. She no longer looks quite like that, though she is still very much the same sophont she was. Is that something that bothers you?”
I looked around at my apartment. The sky blue was everywhere, as were the flowers. Would she have those flowers anymore? What if she did look completely different? I hadn’t even met her before, I literally had a surface level attraction, right?
…No. No, that sounded wrong in my head.
“I don’t think it would matter. She just…when I look at her, all I can see is how kind and happy she looks. I don’t…I can’t explain it. B-but I want to meet her anyway.”
There was an audible sigh of relief around me from Rahla. “Oh, little one…you have no idea how excited it makes me to hear that.” Excited? I felt her wrap around me tighter, the same pressure soothing me as always. “Well, would you like to hear the good news, Newt?”
“Y-yes, please.”
She leaned in very close, and whispered in my ear. “You don’t need to find her, because you already found her.”
My mouth opened.
My mouth shut.
My mouth opened.
After a few seconds, Rahla gently closed it for me. When she spoke, she was quiet and gentle. “Newt, I told you I used to work for the broadcasting division. I was at the end of my last bloom, and I recorded that show to help each and every one of you little cuties. But I had decided to spend my next bloom finding a lovely floret, and taking care of them. So that was my last ever appearance you’ll find. I rebloomed a few days later, and have been helping more directly with the Domestication process ever since.”
She extended her arm out, and I saw the vines writhe for a second, before some achingly familiar blue petals bloomed next to the white ones. I reached out and lightly traced the edge of one with my fingertip, just to make sure it was real. It felt smooth like silk, and flexed slightly upon contact. I let out a short laugh in the pure shock of it all, which turned into a choked gasp, and then a full on sob.
“I-I’ve been waiting for so l-long…”
I was lifted up and repositioned to be cradled by Rahla, who hugged me close to her chest. “I know, Newt. I wish I had known sooner, but I’m here now, and I promise you are never going to be alone again. You were so, so brave, you know that?”
I tried to shake my head, to deny it, but she held me in place. “No lying now, dearest. Not to me. You’re my bravest little floret now, and you don’t get to lie about that.”
I blinked through the tears. “You mean…?”
She smiled wide, her eyes green and gold. “Roots, you’re just adorable. Yes of course dear, I want you as my floret. No, you don’t get any choice in the matter, either. I’m going to have you, because you’ve already been mine all along, haven’t you?”
I nodded, suddenly shy. It wasn’t like I could hide that from her, not after everything today, but to suddenly have her in front of me...oh crumbs, she heard me gush about her to her face! I tried to cover my blush, but she firmly held my arms where they were.
“Do you have something you want to ask me, my dearest little Newt?”
My blush deepened at that. Her Newt. “C-can I be your floret, Rahla?”
A vine curled around my neck, right where a collar might go. “Come now, dear. You’re going to be Newt Neresse, First Floret. And you know what to call me, don’t you?”
I bit my lip, lost in the bliss, giving in entirely to Her. “P-please let me be your floret, Mistress?”
She smiled, and the last thing I heard before she kissed me was, “Of course I will, Pet.”