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Chapter Text

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It was on the third night after they had known about the inevitable that Little Li finally brought it up.

"You're scared," the boy stated as they finished their dinner. Childe's hands stopped amid gathering the plates.

"What? We're in peaceful Liyue, how can I be?" Childe said, trying to fool the little dragon.

"I can smell your fear…" Little Li huffed. Childe sighed out, he forgot that lil Zhongli was a dragon and had senses humans don't.

"Curse you and your dragon senses," Childe muttered. He didn't want to admit it, but of course he was scared. Zhongli will forget about him, and while Childe would start everything over if he has to, but… but that doesn't guarantee everything will be like it used to be. There was no guarantee Zhongli would fall for him again. He considered himself the luckiest man alive to have Zhongli as lover before, but would the world grace him with such luck twice? The possibilities of a bad end made him terrified.

"Is it because I would forget you?" Little Zhongli asked. Initially Childe wanted to keep his cheerful self so that Little Li wouldn't be worried. He was a trained warrior of the Ice Queen, he was supposed to be able to withstand anything. But just this one thing… he didn't think he could.

“Yes… But I'm more afraid of the possibility of losing you…” the human whispered as silent tears fell down his cheeks. That moment the cheerful Childe crumbled apart, revealing the hurt pained Ajax instead.

The boy's eyes went wide, this was the first time 700-year-old Little Li saw Childe like this, vulnerable, less than cheerful and he didn't like it, he hated it, he felt like he wanted to burn the whole world for it had made this bright-haired gege sad.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't be like this… I shouldn't burden you like this… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" Childe said weakly, and Little Li felt a stab in his chest. 

"I must admit, I don't quite understand this," Little Li said. Childe could only smile sadly, he couldn't blame the boy, to the little dragon, he was just a weird gege he had met a few weeks ago after all.

"But adult-me seems to understand, because something within me is quivering with anger and sadness that isn't mine," Little Li continued. Those words soothed Childe a bit, he smiled thinly and ruffled the boy's head. Little Zhongli caught his hand and pressed it to his own cheek.

"Admittedly, I am, too, not completely unaffected," the boy said. Childe's eyes widened at that. A spread of warmth waved in him and he smiled.

Little Li let go of the human's hand and raised a pillar beneath his feet so he could level eyes with the human. He patted wiped away the harbinger’s tears with his tiny hand and said,  "I can't put a name to it, but what I'm feeling right now is that I want to treasure you and I would stop at nothing to keep you, not even fate itself,"

At those words, Childe felt a little assurance and courage to continue on. Whatever may happen next, he will overcome it.

Childe chuckled, because while the words were assuring, with Little Li's appearance now it looked a little funny. He said, "Really, with your appearance, it sounds inappropriate,"

Little Li rolled his eyes, sighed and hopped down the pillar.

"Silly," the boy said as he walked away, hands behind his back.

After a few steps, he looked back over his shoulder to Childe and with a smile he gently said, "... But I don't mind,"

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Childe and Little Li were just finished fighting monsters for fun when Xiao appeared before them, giving Little Li a quick bow before greeting the pair.

"My Lord," he courteously greeted the tiny god.

"Fatui," he gave Childe a nod.

"Try 'father' next time," Childe joked, but unlike usual Xiao didn't sneer back, instead he stared at the ground. Just by that reaction Childe knew what was coming and his heart slowly breaking.

"Why are you here, Xiao?" Little Li asked.

The yaksha sucked in a breath, and shakily said, "The antidote… is here,"

"I see," the boy was composed as usual. Meanwhile Childe was trying his best to look like he was okay. In fact, he was not. The human tried to steady his trembling hands, but Little Li already saw it. On top of that, the little dragon could smell his sadness. It made the boy feel angry.

How dare the world make his human sad? How dare they?

"I will come by to Cloud Retainer's adobe by night fall, please prepare the antidote for me by then," Little Li instructed gracefully, and the green haired adeptus nodded dutifully.

"For now, I ask not to be disturbed. Let me have private time with my human," the boy continued and Xiao promptly bowed and teleported out.

Childe was about to say something, but Little Li took his hand and dragged him along, the boy only said, "Come with me,"

Childe chuckled and wordlessly followed his tiny dragon.

Little Li was 700-years old, he was not a child, yet didn't quite understand feelings. Especially that thing called love. His time was merciless, there was no place for anything but survival. However, experiencing peaceful time for a short period had given him the chance to, had given him the realization that he, the one that had his complete memory, had loved this Childe. And… and perhaps he, the one who lost thousands of years of memories, also loved this man.

The problem he was mulling over now was that he was going to lose all memory of this person. He was sure that Childe would be able to win him over again, but… what Childe said loomed over his head. What if his stupid self saw Childe as a threat and decided to reject him? What if he dwell on things too long and Childe died waiting? What if–

For the first time in a long time, something made him afraid. Little Li decided he wanted to be selfish. Wanted to just… claim him. So even if he lost his memory he would know this human belongs to him, at the very least, he would know he was not a threat.

Before they knew it they reached Yaoguang Shoal. Little Li himself didn’t know why his feet brought him there, it just felt appropriate. On the other hand, Childe looked a little bit surprised.

"Childe," the boy called

"Oh? Not going to call me gege anymore?" the human asked with the tone he usually used for teasing.

"I… I wish to ask something selfish from you. But I don't know if I can… if I'm allowed," the boy looked uncharacteristically uncertain. 

"My Little Li, of course you can!" Childe couldn’t help but to coo at the cute boy.

"Are you not going to ask what I selfishly desire?" Little Li asked, once again back to his usual elegant self.

"No need! If it's for you, I would grant anything!" Childe said. That came out too easily that the shrunken god almost doubted it, however the human’s stare was nothing but sincere. The little dragon decided to believe it, as selfish as it was.

"I see, then…" the boy paused, spawning a levitating symbol above his palm. The same symbol as the one in the back of the consultant’s coat, a quincunx symbol.

"Run. I want to chase you and catch you," he said.

"You want to play tag?" Childe asked. He wanted to question how this was considered selfish, however he could guess why Little Li considered this selfish. He wasn’t completely oblivious, he vaguely knew what this ‘chase’ meant.

“This gege would gladly consent to it~” he sang, he took several steps away from the boy, getting ready for their little game of tag. 

“Thank you, Childe,” The boy said sincerely. 

Childe consented to this, but he wouldn’t want to make this too easy, he was sure his Zhongli would like a little challenge anyway. He scanned his surroundings, and smiled. He could use his hydro vision to help him move around, this should be fun.

"You surely picked a location that works in my favor. Well then, catch me if you can," Childe said, he gave the boy a wink before he started to run to the water.

The shrunken god laughed at the human’s antics. He stood still for a few seconds for Childe to run away. The harbinger had used his vision to create a wave that he could ride and had fled pretty far away, he met eyes with him and Childe had the gut to wink at him again and smirked. Little Li smiled, he really enjoyed the challenge, this human was really pushing all the right buttons.

Little Li kicked the ground gently and he started to float in the air, then with speed he flew towards Childe. From afar, The human saw that and shock was apparent in his face. Honestly Childe had forgotten that Little Li could fly. Heck, his Zhongli could too, he just never did it, that’s why it slipped Childe’s mind. But no matter, if he couldn’t outrun the little dragon, then he could just hinder the dragon. He made hydro binders and shot it to Little Li, which he barely dodged, fortunately Childe’s plan didn’t stop there, while Little Li was focused on dodging the binders, Childe made a large wave behind the boy, drowning the boy. After making sure Little Li was managing himself, Childe continued his run.

The adeptus’ little body was completely at the mercy of the wave, but he had a smile on his face, of course the human wouldn’t make it easy and honestly he preferred it that way. After a few seconds he managed to make a pillar from the bottom of the sea to push him out of the water. He levitated in the air to scan where the human had run to. He wouldn’t be able to tell if it weren’t for the strangely stirring patch of water catching his attention. Childe was clever indeed. Now, how would the tiny lord of geo chase him in the water? But then again, Little Li would stop at nothing.

Childe was safely hiding in the water, using a hydro bubble to keep him from drowning. He controlled the water around him to move around the bubble. He was pretty sure Little Li wouldn’t be able to chase him into the water. While right now he wasn’t disgusted by sea creatures, he still hates being damped. Besides, Childe guessed his current Little Li hadn’t mastered the art of shielding yet, so it would almost be impossible for him to dive in as well. So, this should be a good plan, right? Just as he thought that, he felt the water was trembling, and before he knew it, the sea floor was rising up below him, fast enough that when it hit him, he was projected out from the water into the sky. He hadn’t even finished being surprised, a tiny figure tackled him mid air, throwing them both to the sand at the shores. When he finally caught up with what’s happening, he found Little Li on top of him, sitting on his stomach, clearly smug about his victory.

Childe chuckled, and admitted his defeat, "Okay okay, you've captured me, Little Li,"

"Good," Little Li mumbled.

“I’m claiming my prize then,” his shrunken boyfriend said. The boy gave a moment to allow Childe express his disapproval if he so please, but the human said nothing. So the little dragon bent down and kissed the human's chest, right above his heart, and a quincunx symbol faithly glowed in the air, before it moved and disappeared on Childe's clothing. Childe peaked inside his shirt and found the symbol symbol glowing on his skin.

"Well, this is going to be an issue," Childe said but he smiled. He wasn't completely oblivious about this. After all, they had talked about it once, right when they first started dating. Initially Childe wanted the mark but Zhongli was against it.

"Why?" Little Li asked.

"You're the geo Archon. I belong to Cryo Archon," Childe said. That was the only reason his consultant didn't mark him before, he didn't want to offend Childe's goddess and brought trouble to his human.

"That is incorrect, you may choose any deity to serve, but you belong to me," Little Li said plainly. Childe chuckled but wholeheartedly agreed. He served the Tsaritsa and his loyalty as a soldier belonged to her, but his loyalty as a person belonged to Zhongli and it shall never change.

"You… really," Childe sighed, a fond smile painting his face. 

"It was sweet and all but looks inappropriate because you're a child right now," He ended it with a laugh. Little Li chuckled too.

"I'm 700 years old, I'm pretty sure I'm far older than you," The shrunken god said before he get off from Childe and offered his hand to the human. Childe took it and stood up too. 

"Yes, but your appearance is 7 years old though," Childe argued. 

"Ah, true," the boy agreed.

"But at the moment I'm weak, this is the form I manage to hold," he said, a little too sadly. Childe wanted to laugh at that. “Weak” yet a moment ago this kid raised the sea floor. Truly, he couldn’t help but to wonder how much power did his Zhongli possessed. 

"I like this form of yours though, cute~" Childe said, his hand hovering over the mark Little Li just made. It felt warm there and it… it felt assuring.

They spent some time in silence, a comfortable silence none of them wanted to disturb. They sat next to each other on the sand, watching the sun slowly approaching the horizon.

"It's about time for your antidote…" Childe mumbled just as the sun was right above the horizon.

Little Li silently stood up, and offered his hand to Childe, he said, "Let's go, gege,"

The time had come. While he was not, and never would be, ready for this, he would want Zhongli to retrieve his power and thousands of years of memory, he wanted him to remember all his other treasured memories, even though… Even though it didn't include the memory that had him in it.

"I'll miss you calling me that," Childe joked as he walked with Little Li.

"Then savor it while it last, gege,"

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"You have to drink all of it," was the only instruction Xiao gave when he presented the antidote in a bowl to Little Li. The boy took the bowl, staring at it for a while before he looked at Childe.

“Promise me, you won’t stop trying for me no matter how insufferable I am, because I know I will be,” the boy said to Childe.

“Of course. You know I’m fucking persistent,” Childe assured him, he patted the boy’s head, not only to calm him but also himself. They could get through this.

“Ah, yes. Annoyingly so,” The boy chuckled. He put his hand on Childe’s chest, feeling the mark he just put and nodded to himself. He wordlessly drank the antidote in one big gulp. Soon after that he felt his body becoming heavy and shivering in the cold. The last thing he saw before he passed out was a tear on Childe’s cheek.

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"Rex Lapis!" Was the first thing Zhongli heard when he opened his eyes. Zhongli identified it as Cloud Retainer's.

"My Lord!" Xiao and Moon Carver's voice was next. Afterwards came Madame Ping offering him a glass of water, which he took gratefully.

Zhongli didn't remember why he was there. The last thing he remembered was the Cryo Archon proposing a contract and she wanted his Gnosis.

His Gnosis. Zhongli frowned. He looked down to his chest and touched it with his hands. It was not there. While the Gnosis wasn't much of a help to his power, he almost never took it out of his chest for he knew the importance of it. 

He summed it up pretty quickly. Cryo Archon wanted his gnosis, his current predicament that he didn't remember being in, and his missing gnosis. Not to mention, a presence of an unknown human, with slight abyssal presence within the said human, in a room full of adepti. It wasn't hard for him to draw a conclusion to this.

"My dear friends, it seems like my memory is a bit hazy. Would you mind telling me what's happening?" Zhongli asked, as he sat up. 

Xiao, Moon Carver, Cloud Retainer, Madame Ping, and Mountain Shaper explained to him what happened. Start from the vine-like monster happening, including when he shrunk into a child, the antidote, and the antidote's side effect.

"I see, so I've lost several years of memory because of that," Zhongli hummed and seemed to fall into deep thought.

“We could fill you in about those several years, my friend,” Moon Carver offered. The Geo Lord hummed appreciatively.

“That would be greatly appreciated,” Zhongli said calmly. His golden eyes eying the human in the room cautiously. He silently noted him as a potential threat.

“How about him, what is he?” He finally addressed the human in the room. As soon as he uttered that question, the room became silent, even the adepti were tense, suddenly all of them eyeing Childe with a pitiful and unsettled look. Childe, who had been silently standing near the wall, tried to approach only to be met with a sharp gaze of those golden eyes which used to grace him with gentle gazes. Childe stopped his steps, he gave a slight bow to the god.

“I mean no harm. I’m Childe, I…” Childe paused, not sure how to introduce himself. What was he? Was he his lover if Zhongli himself didn’t know who he was? A pang of pain slapped him.

“... I’m a mere human graced with your… acquaintanceship. But it seems like you’ve forgotten about me,” Childe said, ending it with a more cheerful tone. He had no time to be sad. He had promised Little Li he would win him all over again, so he would do just that.

“I see,” Zhongli said, but Childe knew the god was doubting him.

Zhongli had reason to doubt the human. After all, he didn’t know anything about him, and his adepti seemed to be unsettled near this human. The abyssal power radiating from him didn’t help his case as well.

“May I step closer? I just want to make sure you’re alright,” Childe politely asked. He genuinely wanted to make sure his Zhongli was alright, it was a bit hard to determine since they were standing so far apart. The god wordlessly hummed his consent and Childe walked closer to Zhongli. Only then Zhongli felt it. A presence of himself on the human.

Zhongli’s eyes slightly widened as he realized; this human bear his mark.

Then when they’re finally less than a meter apart, Zhongli’s draconic senses pick up the human’s sadness. This human was incredibly sad… and in pain.

"You are radiating so much sadness," Zhongli pointed out plainly. The god witnessed as the human’s eyes widened for a moment.

Childe was, indeed, sad. In fact he was on the verge of tearing up. How could he not? The love of his life forgot who he was, forgot his love for him too. So how could he not?

At first, Childe thought he could handle this, but reality hurt so much more than he imagined. He touched the mark Little Li made on him for comfort, and he managed to hold his tears, but he wasn't sure if he could hold it for long. He could not tear up here, he mustn’t. He could only helplessly chuckle.

Anyway, he had made sure Zhongli was alright, so perhaps, he should retreat for today. So he decided to say, "Well then! Now that I know you're safe and well, I should leave you to rest. Things must be confusing for you and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with my presence! Good night, Xiansheng," 

He didn't even wait for Zhongli to reply, he just hurriedly walked to the exit. Before he stepped out, he turned to look at the 5 other adepti.

"Please take care of him. And please… please let me try to win him back. I beg of you… don't hide him from me," the Harbinger said, uncharacteristically very sadly and respectful. He even bowed his head deeply to them.

The adepti hated him, and that was unchanging, but they weren't blind either, he knew Childe's sincerity towards their lord and they knew their Lord loved him. While they always wished their lord to pick another partner, they knew which choice would make their old friend happier.

"We will not hinder, but we will not help," Cloud Retainer said with finality.

The adepti were expecting some bite back, however there was none, instead Childe bowed to them once again.

"Thank you, that's more than I can ever ask for," Childe said, then he turned to the exit and he left.

They were supposed to hate Childe, yet, why did they feel unsettled to see him crumble apart like that?

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The adepti were telling him about the last few years, about the Zhongli stepping down as geo archon, including the test he put Liyue through although they didn’t tell him who was the harbinger that released Osial. They also briefly told him about the human he had made acquaintance with, like Hu Tao, The Traveler, The teenagers of Liyue he liked to gossip with, The Liyue’s artists he liked to watch, The Qixing members he often spoke with, and The adepti’s apprentices he watched over. Zhongli listened to them and had no problem memorizing them.

“How about the human that was here yesterday? Who is he?” Zhongli asked curiously and all of them went silent.

It wasn’t that they purposely did that, they just genuinely didn’t know how to explain about Childe. It was only now they realized they didn’t know anything about the said human. All they knew was that he unleashed Osial, that their lord favored him, and that he had always tried not to cross paths with them because he knew their dislike towards him. Suddenly they felt a little… guilt.

“Was he so complicated that you aren’t answering me?” Zhongli asked again. From his point of view right now, Childe was… a piece of mystery. His adepti reluctance to talk about him made it even more so.

“We call him Childe. He’s a complicated character to Liyue and her people, including us,” Madame Ping was the one who answered him.

“Frankly, One doesn’t like him and wishes for you not to associate with him, however…” Cloud Retainer paused. Xiao bit his lips beside her, and from that gesture, Zhongli knew Xiao half agreed and half disagreed with Cloud Retainer.

“However he isn’t necessarily bad and we have no say in your choices,” Mountain Shaper continued her words, which she nodded in agreement to.

“We would like to explain who he is, but we don’t think we could properly tell you about him without having our own dislikes mixed in it, and that would be unfair for him,” Moon Carver added, to which the other seemed to agree.

“I see,” Zhongli mumbled and once again lost in his own thoughts.

He briefly recalled the image of the human, and Childe’s sorrowful expression came to his mind. He wondered why did that… hurt him too?

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Childe was sitting on the feet of the Statue of The Seven, covered in blood. He just slain so many abyss mages near Guili plains. Usually, when he's sad, fighting until he gets tired would cheer him up. Yet, he still felt unbearable pain and so much sadness even though he had fought so many for so long until his body went numb. He had hoped the physical pain would made him forget about the pain in his heart, but of course it didn’t work like that.

His hand touched the mark again, because right now that was the only thing that could comfort him. A reminder that he belongs to someone as well as that someone belongs to him, even if that someone didn't remember him anymore.

Amidst his self pity, a green mist appeared before him and Xiao emerged from it. Childe closed his eyes, bracing for a flying spear to come his way, but there was none. For Xiao to come without attacking him was usually to deliver bad news. At this, disregarding his own wounds and discomfort, he forced himself up.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to Zhongli?" Childe asked, ready to force himself beyond his limits if it was needed.

Xiao shook his head, before he replied, “He’s well,”

Upon hearing that Zhongli was alright, Childe’s legs gave up once more, leaving him kneeling weekly on the ground. The Yaksha eyed the miserable state of the harbinger and silently respected how Childe still worried over Zhongli when he himself was in such a state.

"Then why are you here? To mock me? To tell me to stay away from him? If so, don't even try," Childe said sharply despite his pitiful state. He managed to sound menacing, as expected of a harbinger. However his trembling body didn't escape Xiao's eyes.

"I hate you," Xiao began, although the statement lacked the fire and irritation it usually had. 

"...but I care about my master more. I hate to admit, only after getting together with you that he regains that spark of joy I thought he would never have again,... Right now, he clearly isn’t happy," Xiao said, his voice tiny but still audible from where Childe was sitting. The statement startled Childe a bit. While Xiao did let the relationship happen, he still hated Childe and Childe was well aware of that, was fine with that. So for him to say something like that meant quite a lot for the harbinger.

"Don't worry, I'll make him fall for me all over again, and make him happy all over again," Childe said, his words were true and sincere, but it was deprived of confidence. 

Xiao frowned at the lack of Childe's usual confidence, and pointed it out, "You don't sound convinced,"

"I just… I…" Childe paused. He closed his eyes as his mind brought him a memory of the past. He remembered the day he and Zhongli finally stepped up their relationship from platonic to romantic. It was at sunset, at the shore of Yaoguang Shoal and how it had felt like it was the happiest day in his life. They had shared a kiss which wasn’t their first but it felt like it. But now… now none of that mattered for Zhongli. Not the kiss. Not the relationship. Because now, Zhongli remembered none of it.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't devastated about it.

Don't get him wrong, he would courted him all over again, made him fall in love all over again. He planned to. Even so, it still hurts nonetheless. Good thing Childe was used to pain. He could handle this, he could just shove away his pain, disregarding it until he went numb to it.

Xiao walked closer to Childe and put a hand on the human’s head. Xiao had never done that to Childe before, and only then the harbinger realized how gentle and careful the older guy was. How his hand moved to ruffle his head with two millenia worth of wisdom.

"When I went to Sumeru and was in pain due to my karmic debt, your architect friend said 'being used to pain doesn't mean you're immune to it,'. I wholeheartedly agree with that and I think it’s not weak to admit it, it applies to everyone, even to a strong resilient harbinger of the cryo archon like yourself. Cry or do whatever eases it," he said. His hand moved to Childe’s shoulder and it glowed for a moment. Childe felt his body begin to heal from earlier battle.

"I'll leave you alone, speak my name if you need me," he said before he disappeared with a green mist.

"... Thanks," Childe mumbled before he leaned his head to the Statue of The Seven, clutching his bloody hands to it and cried out his agony.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

“It’s frustrating,” Cloud Retainer said. Hiding her face in her wings.

“Unfortunately, indeed so,” Mountain Shaper agreed.

“Beyond agonizing,” Moon Carver joined in, sighing at the pitiful sight.

The reason for these frustrations was none other than their situation now. You see, Childe had visited the Cloud Retainer's cave where Zhongli was temporarily staying almost everyday to invite the prime of adeptus for lunch and each time Zhongli had declined him. This was the 7th time the human came, only to be rejected again and walked back to the city with a dejected look. They weren’t blind to Childe's affection towards Zhongli, and because of that his pain was even more apparent for them. It made them feel… unhappy.

“If our Lord has his memory…” Xiao paused, not intending to finish the sentence, but all of them knew what he was about to say.

They silently reached an agreement.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"Xiansheng~ How about we have lunch together?" Childe said cheerfully. He had always come back with a smile even though he had been rejected continuously.

“No,” Zhongli said. Childe’s cheerful smile didn’t fade, instead he hopped next to where Zhongli was sitting and tried again.

“Why not? Give me one chance! Maybe you’ll like spending time with me! Besides, you know I will only come back tomorrow to invite you again,” he said cheerfully. Zhongli sighed as he held his head.

In all honesty the human’s persistence was strong, so strong that it was both admirable and annoying. Normally, Zhongli would have either avoided or silenced such annoying characters. The only reason stopping him from doing so was the fact that the human had his marking on his person. Which meant, his past-self deemed this human as precious, not to be harmed in any way.

"I don't see why I need to associate myself with the likes of you," Zhongli said, trying to sound as arrogant and unpleasant as he could in hope it would deter the human.

"Ouch," Childe winced. Childe’s cheerful mask was slipping for a moment, leaving his pain visible in his expression. That pained look hurted the god too and Zhongli instantly regretted what he said.

Before Zhongli could take back what he said, Childe renewed his smile, albeit to mask his pain. He said, "Well, I can always come back tomorrow, maybe you change your mind then!"

Childe was about to take a step back and walk away, giving up for the day, when Cloud Retainer decided to speak up, "My Lord, maybe… maybe you should, uh, give the boy a chance. He's… uh… he's…"

"A nice company," Xiao supplied.

Childe's eyes widened. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Were Cloud Retainer and Xiao trying to help him?

He hadn't recover from his surprise when Moon Carver also tried helping, “He… um, know how to pick good tea leaves,”

“And he's good with weapons,” Mountain Shaper added.

“Above all he has been politely persistent, don't you think his efforts should be rewarded, my Lord?” Madame Ping warped it up nicely.

Zhongli was, too, surprised. For his adepti to encourage him to go with Childe despite disliking him surely meant something. The God tapped his lips while thinking about it for a moment before he nodded.

"Very well, I shall agree this time," Zhongli agreed. The moment the words left his lips, Childe’s eyes shone like the most magnificent Noctilucous Jade Zhongli had ever seen. A real smile painting the human’s face and the geo lord had to admit that he favored that genuine smile. Somehow, it sent mysterious shivers in his stone heart.

As the two walk away from Cloud Retainer’s adobe for their lunch, Childe looked at the adepti, he bowed slightly and mouthing "Thank you,"

🔹🔸🔹🔸

“My Lord,” Madame Ping greeted, joining her Lord on the cliff of Mount Hulao. The older one was just back from his lunch trip with Childe. And to be honest, he enjoyed it a lot.

“Old Friend,” Zhongli greeted back. The old lady silently spawned her guqin.

“You look like you're having tangled thoughts, please let this one help untangle it,” the lady said as she started to play a familiar melody on her guqin. The clear soothing sound of the instrument was believed to be able to cleanse a soul, and perhaps it wasn't that far fetched.

“Is it about Childe?” Madame Ping asked as she kept playing.

“Admittedly, yes. To me, he's… a piece of mystery,”

“Oh? How so?” she asked, tilting her head in time with her soft melodies. Zhongli let a moment of silence to savor the soothing play of his friend's guqin.

“At glance he is a potentially dangerous person. My adepti clearly dislike him, he has traces of abyssal power in him, he is a soldier of another god, the common people of Liyue look at him weird, and so on. He bears a lot of red flags, yet he was so pleasant, very gentle and cheerful. What's more… he has my personal marking. He was important to me, important enough for me to mark him, possibly planning to take him as a mate. I find those facts contradictory. For I know I will not take a mate who my family is opposed to,” Zhongli said, laying his concerns honestly. It was partly why he had been declining Childe's invitations for lunch, however when having lunch with Childe this afternoon, the human was very courteous and fun to have around.

“Old friend, love makes people do things they don't think they would,” Madame Ping calmly stated. Zhongli said nothing, waiting for his friend to continue.

So Madame Ping quietly continued, “700-year-old you did the marking, much like you, he didn’t know Childe, all he knew was your past self loved him and spent a couple of weeks with the human. You know yourself better than anyone, so I believe you would know the reason why he would do that while being aware that you will not remember any of it,”

“He wanted me to know Childe is his… ours… mine,” Zhongli mumbled. Madame Ping stayed silent beside him, playing soft note after note to serenade his thought process.

Zhongli fell into silence and into his own thoughts. He never took marking lightly, he had always been so since the day he descended and chose a dragon as his primary form. He would not mark a human that served another god, he would not choose a mate that his family opposed. Yet his past selves did all because … of love?

His past-self loved him, probably took the human as lover. His 700-year-old self loved the human as well, as far as marking him to tell his current-self that the human was his. But how about his current-self? He would say no. However… he couldn’t say he felt nothing either.

“Did it help organize your thoughts, My Lord?” Madame Ping asked as her song was coming to its end. She plucked the few last notes with grace as she ended her beautiful serenade. 

“Perhaps. Thank you, dear friend,” Zhongli said with a smile. He had decided, for now, he should spend more time with Childe, to see why his past-selves loved this guy so much.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

And spent more time with Childe, he did. Childe climbed Mount Aocang every single day to ask Zhongli for lunch together, and the geo lord accepted the invitation every time. It became a routine for Childe to arrive at the steps of Cloud Retainer’s door by noon, take Zhongli for lunch, and return him back before the sun went down. Sometimes he would stay to listen to Zhongli talking about anything, which resulted in him climbing down the mountain in the dark of the night.

This behavior was a wonder to Zhongli, why would a human waste his limited mortal life span to do all this? Just to have lunch with him and listen to his endless talk? He couldn’t deny it though, he liked the attention the human was giving him, but he couldn’t help but to wonder…

“Were you my lover?” Zhongli asked on their walk back to Mount Aocang for the day. Childe stopped his steps, obviously startled by the question.

"Well… Yes…," Childe truthfully admitted. Zhongli softly sighed, rather feeling a little guilty that he had to break a human’s delicate heart.

"My apologies. I have no memory of you, therefore, whatever the relationship we had is now foreign to me. I think we should reassess our relationship," Zhongli politely said. Childe smiled sadly at that.

"I know… It will be uncomfortable for you to keep a relationship with someone who is… a stranger to you now,” Childe said, trying his best to calmly say this. He turned around, touching the mark Little Li had put on him for mental support, he wiped away the sadness from his face and looked at Zhongli with a renewed determination.

"I’m not and won't ask you to sustain a relationship you don't even know existed. But I would ask you to please allow me to try building a new relationship with you. I'll properly befriend you and court you again. Will you … let me try?" Childe said sincerely.

Zhongli only realized it now, in their short time together, even though Childe had obviously a more intimate relationship with his past-self, he had never even once done something that could potentially made Zhongli uncomfortable. The human would even ask for Zhongli’s consent whenever he wanted to touch him, be it as simple as helping tidy his hair or brushing off leaves that fell on his clothing. Zhongli liked how considerate the human was.

"Very well. I'll let you try," he agreed. Not just because he knew his child-self marked him for a reason, but because his current-self was intrigued.

Relief was spreading through Childe’s mind, to hear that Zhongli would let him try was enough, enough to give him the strength. He smiled happily and cheerfully announced,  "Thank you! And please! Be prepared! I'll sweep you off your feet~"

🔹🔸🔹🔸

They continued their routine, and Childe was never absent even for a day. At some point, their lunch in the harbor’s restaurants escalated into picnics around Liyue’s regions. Childe would pack them food that Zhongli would like, although it wasn’t always homemade.

That day, they had a picnic in the Qingyun Peak and Childe had packed them some food from Wanmin. Like always, Childe listened to Zhongli’s stories, sometimes telling his own story and Zhongli would listen to him in return. However, today the dragon couldn’t help but to feel something was off.

“You look horrible,” Zhongli said out of the blue, and Childe almost choked on his drinks. He briefly looked at his clothing, he had worn his usual attire, and he had made sure to change to a clean one before seeing Zhongli so why–

“I mean, you look tired,” Zhongli corrected as he noticed Childe had misunderstood his statement.

“Oh, sorry, I had an abundant load of paperwork at the bank last night,” Childe said. When he requested to be stationed in Liyue for a little longer, Her Majesty was agreeable to it, but had asked him to help Pantalone manage the bank, thus he had been taking up work at the bank. A small price as long as he could stay by his dragon if he had to say.

“How many hours did you sleep last night?” Zhongli asked, because he knew the human didn’t get enough. The human cheekily smiled but not answering the question.

“If you have a lot of work, you do not need to push yourself to see me,” Zhongli stated.

“You don't want to see me, Xiansheng?” Childe simply asked.

“I want to,”

“Then I’ll come see you, it’s as simple as that,” Childe replied without missing a beat. Zhongli felt like there was butterflies inside his tummy.

It was a wonder to the geo lord how this man would do so much for him. Childe went to get him by noon and return him to mount Aocang by sunset, sometimes he would return even more late than that, it would mean he only had several hours in the morning to do his paperwork and if that wasn’t enough, it meant he sacrificed his sleep to work. Hence he looked so tired. Yet, he happily picked him up this afternoon and made time to listen to his stories and tell him stories. Zhongli felt… incredibly treasured. 

It was a pleasant feeling. However, seeing Childe tired was not.

“From tomorrow on, do not come,” Zhongli said, then horror painted Childe’s face in an instant.

“Why? Xianshen–”

"Do not come, I will come to you instead,” Zhongli cut him off. 

Childe was effectively shut up by that statement. His eyes dilated in surprise.

“You’ve put a lot of effort just to see me. I, admittedly, also enjoy our time together, therefore, let me put up some effort for you as well,” Zhongli added, simply stating his views. Then he saw a small smile on Childe’s lips and a slight tint of red on his cheeks. Zhongli liked the sight.

It was pretty.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"Why do you always pay for me?" Zhongli asked when Childe was just done with their bill for their lunch. 

Childe almost laughed at the question, but he didn't because he knew Zhongli's question was out of genuine curiosity. Zhongli had lost his memory of recent years, so he probably didn't remember that he was poor either.

"Can't I spoil you?" Childe decided to say. 

He raised his eyebrow before adding, "Beside, do you have any mora on you?"

Zhongli blinked and then proceeded to pat himself, looking for mora on his person, before realizing he didn't have any, "Ah. No,"

"Exactly," Childe said accompanied with a chuckle.

"Even if I don't have mora I can just…" Zhongli paused, he opened his palm, golden light emanating from it. A second later a very shiny mora appeared above his hand. A freshly minted mora.

Childe almost choked on air.

"What the fuck?? I thought– wha– huh?? Did you just fucking mint mora?!" Childe asked in a whispered scream. Thank Tsaritsa no one was around to see Zhongli casually spawning mora from thin air. And again, what the fuck?

"I thought you need your gnosis for that!" Childe let out another whispered scream.

Zhongli innocently tilted his head before he said, "Gnosis was a gift for those who emerged victorious from the Archon war. Mora was created before the Archon war was concluded,"

… Well…

Now that Childe thought about it… Liyue was built 2700 years ago, the first house which was made out of mora was also built around that time, while the Archon War ended 2000 years ago. Morax hadn't got his gnosis then.

Childe could only sigh at this information. Then why all this time–

"Oh Archons, then why didn't you just do that? You used to keep saying you forgot your mora, and asked for me," Childe asked, looking quite upset. Zhongli wondered if it was because his past-self had cost the human a fortune.

He could understand his past-self though. Rex Lapis was the only one who could make mora. According to what the adepti told him, he had faked his own death. Which means Rex Lapis was no more for the people. Therefore the only one who could make mora was no more too.

"I think the reason was because I decided to be 'human', and humans don't spawn mora, they earn them,"

Childe wanted to argue humans normally can't spawn a whole ass meteor either, but he decided to not say anything.

"I don't mind spending money for you, I like doing that, but Xiansheng, you've put me in such stressful predicaments because of your lack of mora! One time I had to speed run from Sumeru to Liyue because you were about to be jailed by Millelith for not being able to pay for your meal! I was so scared they would put your pretty ass in jail, I hastily ran back here still in my pajamas," Childe said exasperatedly. Zhongli didn't know why but he tried to imagine that and he chuckled. It would be a funny sight.

"Oh? That happened?" Zhongli asked.

"Yes! I scolded you for hours after that," Childe affirmed. Zhongli lamented that he had lost his memory, if only he still had it, he would be able to recall that moment. It sounded funny.

Then he heard Childe mumbling to himself, "But well, in the end I couldn't stay mad for so long because you shutting me up with kisses," 

Oh, Zhongli really wanted that memory back.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"My dear Xiao, may I ask you a favor?" The Geo Lord asked when he delivered some medicine for Xiao.

"Anything, Zhongli-daren," the Yaksha replied without missing a beat. Zhongli leaned to the railing of the Wangshu inn balcony, and spawned a letter with a geo seal on the envelope.

"Can you help me send this to the Dendro Archon?" He asked. He had written a letter for the dendro archon about something that had been bugging his mind. He was supposed to have "lost" his memory, yet he felt like it wasn't the right term for it. So he voiced his concern in the letter, hoping the dendro archon might help him address it.

"Of course, I will deliver it as soon as possible," Xiao said dutifully, Zhongli ruffled his head, making the yaksha turn bright.

"Please, do it in your leisure, it isn't an emergency," the older stated gently. The younger only nodded and joined him to watch the scenery.

Pleasant silence filled them for a while, until a question looming over Zhongli's head. 

"Do you hate Childe?" He asked out of the blue.

"Yes," Xiao answered without missing a beat. However, the older could tell it was a lie, he gave the younger a side eye and raised his eyebrow.

"F-forgive me," Xiao said in panic, bowing in apology, but Zhongli caught his shoulders and wordlessly assured him that he didn't mind it.

"I… dislike him," Xiao said carefully, but this time honestly.

"...but I don't hate him," he clarified.

Zhongli had connected some missing dots, sure the adepti wouldn't tell him which Harbinger almost drowned Liyue, but he knew it was most likely Childe. And perhaps, most of the adepti's displeasure towards Childe stem from that.

"Because he put Liyue in danger?" Zhongli asked.

"No, on that matter, he simply carried out his role as you wish him to. I couldn't blame him for that," Xiao honestly answered. He truly didn’t dislike Childe for that, sure at first he was, but after discovering the whole thing was orchestrated by none other than Rex Lapis he concluded that the human was just a pawn. A silly one at that. 

"It's just… You are strong in so many aspects, Zhongli-daren. But being strong doesn't mean you don't feel pain… I just… generally dislike anyone who potentially might … … hurt you," Xiao mumbled his reason. Zhongli smiled, feeling pleased to know that like he cared for his adepti family, his adepti family also cared for him.

“Thank you,” He patted Xiao’s head gently. Xiao's face became flaming red, and if Childe were here he knew the human would tease him. Thank Lord he wasn’t there. Wait, why did he even come to mind? The yaksha sighed as he lamented how casually he just thought about Childe like that. He had to be honest, at specific times, Childe was quite nice to have around, like a brother to bicker with.

“H-he isn’t all that bad,”

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"Is it good? It’s been a while since I made this!" Childe asked when Zhongli tasted Childe's homemade Jade Parcels. They were having their usual lunch near Guili Plains and Childe had packed them some lunch boxes.

"It's great," Zhongli said, sincere and honest. It was truly great, the flavor was pleasing and it went well with the other side dishes. Although he wondered… why did it feel a little nostalgic? 

"Is it better than Cloud Retainer's though?" Childe asked. He always brought this up simply because in terms of cooking, Cloud Retainer was his strongest rival.

Zhongli paused.

"It is not," Zhongli said truthfully and Childe sighed in defeat.

"Guess I'll practice more then! One day I'll make better food than her!" Childe said optimistically. The older liked his optimism and sense of rivalry. It was quite endearing.

“I did say that your cooking is not as good as Cloud Retainer's, and that's the truth…” Zhongli paused, looking at the Jade Parcels in front of him with a slight smile.

Then with utmost sincerity he said, "However… I prefer yours,"

Childe's dignity stopped him from ugly crying due to happiness.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

For the first time ever, Childe was absent for their lunch. Ekaterina had told Zhongli that the Lord Harbinger had an urgent business which was a direct order from the Tsaritsa. She had told him that he could wait in his office, so he did.

It was 3 hours later that the Harbinger finally came back. He looked exhausted when he opened the door to his office.

"Xiansheng!" Childe's face lit up when he saw Zhongli waiting at his office.

"I'm so sorry I missed today's lunch and made you wait for so long, I'll make it up to you," he said as he happily approached the geo lord. Zhongli noticed the abyssal power traces on him, but Zhongli decided not to comment on it.

"You look tired," Zhongli commented instead. Childe was indeed exhausted. He had assisted another harbinger for a task. Let's just say it wasn't pleasant, he enjoyed the fight though.

Childe nodded to respond before he plopped himself on the couch. The fight was fun, but the rest of the things were stressful and he was on the verge of burnout. He absent-mindedly said, "It's been a long rough day, Xiansheng, I demand your consolation hugs and kisses,"

A pause.

And then he realized what he had just said. Panicked, he stood up again and shook his hands everywhere while saying, "Ah! S-sorry. I'm sorry, It's a habit! I didn't mean to overstep your boundaries or anything!"

"Habit? You used to ask me for consolation hugs?" Zhongli asked. He didn't look offended for now but Childe felt like he had just done an act of blasphemy.

"Y-yeah. Well, it's more like, you used to offer it to me and I was spoiled with it," Childe said truthfully. He bit his lips as he reminded himself that to Zhongli right now, he was just a stranger.

"But of course! You don't need to do such thing, I understand I'm still a stra–"

A pair of hands warped around him.

"X-xiansheng?" Childe’s voice was shaky, his hands were hovering on Zhongli’s back, confused if he was allowed to hug him back or not.

“I don't think you’re a stranger, Childe. Perhaps a friend,” Zhongli stated as he hugged Childe tighter. Childe’s hands finally rested to reciprocate the hug.

“I don’t mind giving you a consolation hug," he added.

"Oh," was all Childe managed to say. Only now it dawned on him, he really really missed this, he longed for this. This hug was a blessing he had taken for granted before. It hurt to realize it didn't belong to him anymore.

Childe melted into the hug, allowing himself to savor it for now. It felt warm and safe in Zhongli’s hug. He renewed his oath to himself, he would make it his once again, make Zhongli his once again.

"Thank you, Zhongli-xiansheng," Childe mumbled.

“Don't mention it,” Zhongli whispered back. The older let the hug stay for a moment longer, mostly for himself. He wondered why the second he had Childe in his hug, he felt like the human belonged there, it felt right to have him in his embrace. It was warm, kind, and felt… peaceful.

He rather liked it.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

"W-what's this?" Childe asked upon being given a neatly made Glaze Lily bouquet when Zhongli picked him up for their lunch.

"Glaze Lily," Zhongli replied plainly. 

"Yes, I know, I mean… for me?" Childe asked dumbfounded. Childe did his best not to read too much into this. But, flowers?? Glaze Lilies?! Gifted to him??? He couldn’t help but to feel rather bubbly.

"Indeed. I was helping some people at Qingce village and they shared some of their prettiest Glaze Lily with me," Zhongli answered. They started to walk together towards their picnic spot for the day, all the while Childe still happily stared at the flowers. Zhongli wasn’t quite sure why that sight made him slightly pleased.

"It’s indeed really pretty. Thank you, xiansheng. What makes you decide to give it to me though? You could have kept it for yourself," Childe said. To be completely honest, Zhongli didn’t know why either, but…

"They look really pretty and when I saw them, I just thought of you,” Zhongli honestly said. The moment he saw the beautiful flower, his mind wandered to the similar beauty he came to like, and then the next thing he knew he gifted it to Childe. Was this not allowed? Zhongli wasn’t quite sure of human’s gifting customs.

“Is it an inconvenience to you?" Zhongli decided to ask. 

Childe shook his head and he smiled. This gesture, this oblivious romanticness. This was almost like the Zhongli before losing his memory of him, so Childe couldn’t help but to feel pleased.

“I’m glad it isn’t,” The geo lord said solemnly.

They shared a moment of pleasant silence as Childe fondly looked at the flowers. When Childe looked up to Zhongli, he found the older looking at him with a tender gaze he knew too well, it warmed his whole being.

Then Zhongli said with the most gentle tone, “I truly find you beautiful, graceful, and … special,” 

Childe’s eyes went wide, and his face turned red.

Only then Zhongli realized he had made a mess out of the fearless harbinger, and then there was a slight desire to tease the younger.

"Childe? You look red," Zhongli pointed out with a smile. This comment made the human’s face redden even more.

Childe evaded his eyes, looking away and pouting. He was just a weak weak man when it came to Zhongli, a simple gift and tease made him blush like a maiden. He hid himself behind the flowers that were just gifted to him, mumbling resentfully, "Sh-shut up,"

Zhongli didn’t know why, but that sight gave him joy. He chuckled and mumbled, “Cute,"

🔹🔸🔹🔸

They were watching the stars together in the harbor, but Childe had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Zhongli took this chance to explore his thoughts. 

He had been spending time with Childe for several weeks. He had already seen many sides of Childe. For him, Childe was… fascinating. Childe was kind of like a walking contradictory chaos. Zhongli was supposed to hate chaos and yet he didn’t hate his chaos.

Childe was a battle hungry human, he often itched to fight and not only once or twice he begged Zhongli to spar with him despite knowing he would definitely lose. Zhongli had once tagged along with him ‘debt collecting’, the human had mercilessly hurting traitors and disciplining his underlings. He was crude and dangerous. However, Zhongli had also seen him checking on Xiao from time to time, discreetly leaving some fresh qingxin for Ganyu, and sometimes he would bring a collection of fine tea to Madame Ping in town. He was also good with kids, Zhongli had several times seen him playing with kids in the harbor and they seemed to like him a lot.

Childe was crude and menacing, yet he was also gentle and civil. Sometimes, even cute.

Zhongli looked at the sleeping man on his shoulder, he brushed his hand against Childe’s orange hair. Ah, he wished to stay with him as long as he could, he wished to make him smile and spend their time together like this for as long as they could. Only after those thoughts passed through his mind he realized something.

“Ah, I think, I fell in love with you,”

🔹🔸🔹🔸

Childe and Zhongli were having their walk on Mount Tianheng. Childe was in the middle of telling a story about how his brother sneaked into a boat to see him all the way from Snezhnaya to Liyue when a green mist appeared in front of them and Xiao emerged from it.

"My Lord," Xiao bowed quickly.

He turned to the harbinger and gave him a nod, "Childe,"

"Xiao," Childe greeted back with a nod.

"What brings you here, my little bird?" Zhongli questioned. The yaksha spawned out a letter with a dendro seal on it, offering it with both hands to the retired archon.

"A letter written by the Scribe of the Sumeru's Akademia on behalf of the Dendro Archon arrived to reply to your letter the other day, Zhongli-daren," Xiao said.

“Thank you, Xiao,” the older adeptus said as he took the letter from Xiao.

“I shall take my leave,” the yaksha said, and after Zhongli gave him a nod, the yaksha teleported himself out.

When the younger adeptus were gone, Zhongli proceeded to open the letter. Childe had a little morale drama, as a harbinger of the ice queen, these letters between archons should be valuable information that could be useful for his queen, but as someone who was courting Zhongli… he ought to be polite.

In the end the loverboy side of him won, so he asked, "Letters between archons? Should I give you your privacy?"

"No, it's okay. I believe this concerns you as well," Zhongli informed.

"Oh?" Childe tilted his head.

“What is it about?” He wondered out loud.

"I was bothered by something. Lady Nahida had said the effect of the antidote was my memory being erased away; lost and cannot be found. Yet, I feel feelings I shouldn't have felt if I do not possess certain memories or at the very least traces of it, for example I feel nostalgic when I ate your cooking," Zhongli explained his concern which he had written in the letter to the Dendro Archon the other day.

A glimmer of hope passed through Childe’s eyes.

"So… you're saying it might not be completely lost?" Childe asked, trying his best not to look too hopeful.

"Indeed. I stated my theory to Lady Nahida and this shall be the reply of it," Zhongli stated, and Childe’s heart suddenly began beating so fast.

"Read it with me, Childe," the older invited, Childe promptly leaned closer. Without further ado, Zhongli opened the letter. The letter was written in neat handwriting, it said:

To: Lord Morax

On behalf of the Dendro Archon, I wrote in response to your letter a few days ago.

After testing your theory on a similar case as yours, we discovered that you were right; the side effect didn't completely wipe away the memory but rather locking it away. We had confirmed that it was possible to regain the “lost” memory if Nahida dived into your consciousness and 'unlocked' it.

If you wish to regain your memory, please come by the Sanctuary of Surasthana anytime.

Best regard,

-Scribe of the Akademia, Alhaitham

It was not completely lost… it could be retrieved…

Childe’s legs almost gave up.

"This is indeed the most shocking," Zhongli said, despite his words he was rather calm. He folded the letter and put it back into the envelope, all too calmly. The older looked at Childe who was going through explosions of emotions right now.

"Do you prefer me going?" the adeptus asked Childe. He planned on going, of course, because he wanted to remember Childe. He asked only because he wanted to know what kind of answer the human would come up with.

Childe paused for a while. Again, he loved Zhongli as he was right now too, but if he were to be honest…

"Honestly, yes,” he paused.

“But I love you, regardless of whether you remember me or not, so if you rather not and stay this way, it's okay too,” he added truthfully. Of course, he would lament on the lost memory, but the decision was not his to make, it was Zhongli’s. He would respect any choice he made. Besides…

“Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm close to making you fall for me again!" he said confidently, because yes, they had been going well, almost like when they were dancing with their feelings before they became lovers in the past.

Zhongli chuckled, somewhat relieved to hear that answer. Childe was the one for him indeed. At this point he came to understand why his past self and his 700-year-old self had loved this man.

"I'm going," Zhongli decided. It was not a split decision of course. He had fallen for the human again anyway, and if he could retrieve more memories about this human he loved, then he would like that. Actually, he would like those memories back as soon as possible.

"I'm going tomorrow," he stated.

"I can come with you!" Childe happily offered company. Zhongli shook his head to decline his offer, much to his dismay.

“You should stay here, you're already busy as you are,” Zhongli said. Childe pouted at that, but the pout didn't last long because Zhongli patted his cheek.

“You should stay, and wait for me to come home to you,” he said tenderly. He didn't want to just wait but as if hypnotized by Zhongli’s soothing voice, Childe nodded obediently.

“Okay, I'll wait,” Childe said.

“I’ll wait for you to come home, Xiansheng,” Childe repeated as he took Zhongli’s hand, pressing it to his cheek.

“Thank you,”

“Ah, concerning your previous statement, I must correct you,”

“Hm? Which one?”

"About you almost making me fall for you again," he said. Childe tilted 

“That statement is incorrect,”

The human face turned disappointed, he sadly sighed out, “Oh,”

But to Childe’s surprise and delight, Zhongli brought his lips to Childe’s cheek, planting a gentle peck on it.

“You have done it,” Zhongli whispered.

“Twice,” he added. Before Childe could even overcome his surprise, the long haired man walked away with all his grace.

The dragon looked over his shoulder as he walked away, saying, “Wait for me to come home, Childe,”

Childe felt bubbles bursting inside him.

🔹🔸🔹🔸

Childe decided he would wait for Zhongli in Yaoguang Shoal, why? Because it had always been a special place for them. It was where they confessed to each other and decided to be lovers. It was also where Little Li had chased and marked him. He just thought it would be a good private place to have their reunion.

His heart was pounding so hard during his wait, and it was after 3 hours that his wait came to an end.

"Ajax," Childe’s heart beat so loud when he heard that name said by a voice he was very familiar with. He turned to see his lover standing with a gentle smile a few meters away from him. It took everything not to run and threw himself to Zhongli right that moment.

"Oh? My dragon remembers me now?" Childe said as he walked closer to his lover.

He had planned to act cool and composed, but then Zhongli gave him that gentle smile he hadn’t seen for months. On top of that, the older opened his arms, inviting him for a hug and Childe was but a weak man. Fuck cool and composed. He ran to Zhongli and threw himself to his old dragon. Of course, Zhongli caught him well, steady as a rock.

“I’m home, Ajax,” was what Zhongli whispered to his ears and Childe melted to it.

“Welcome home, you old dragon,” he replied. He reached up to kiss his old dragon. It had been so long since he got to kiss Zhongli, so he was understandably happy and eager.

"Ajax? You're trembling," Zhongli concernedly said when they parted their kiss. He caressed Childe’s head gently, hoping it would calm his lover down. Childe pushed him away reluctantly, but he really wanted to see Zhongli’s face right now.

"I'm just… so happy. It’s been… it’s been such a roller coaster ride this past month," Childe sighed. It had been such stressful months. He must admit it wasn’t all bad experience. Having to see the happy child Zhongli was a good experience. Nevertheless most of the experience was pain on his side.

“I’m sure it was,” Zhongli said, and he gave an assuring kiss on Childe’s cheek. Childe smiled and took the older’s hand and pulled him to walk with him along the shore. Their intertwined hands felt like a blessing for Childe, truly he had missed this.

“I'm sorry, this must have caused you a lot of anguish,” Zhongli said after a minute of silence walking on the shore. Childe laughed and nodded, because indeed it was.

“You’ve made a mess out of me. I expect lots of consolations in form of affections after this, Xiansheng,” Childe playfully said. Zhongli laughed at Childe’s antics. Despite all the hardship he went through, he still managed to be upbeat and joked like this. Although he knew that demand was a genuine one.

“Of course,” Zhongli promised. In fact, he would give as much as his Ajax wants. He deserved to be spoiled after all that.

“And thank you for doing so much for me,” the older said sincerely.

“I would do anything for you, Xiansheng. I would go lengths for you, and–”

“You would go far more,” Zhongli interjected.

“You’ve told me that twice,” he added with a pleased smile. Childe grinned, he did tell that to Little Li, and he had told that to Zhongli before he regained his memory too. 

“I would say it as many times as you want me to, because it’s the truth!” Childe happily announced.

“So you really remember everything now? Including your time as Little Li?” The human questioned. Zhongli nodded, he stopped his walk and took out a picture from his coat. It was the picture of Little Li and Childe, the one when they were eating Prize Catch.

"I do," Zhongli confirmed. He turned to Childe with a playful smile. Childe instantly knew Zhongli was about to tease him.

“You gave a 700-year-old god a childhood,” the god giggled.

“Hey! You looked like you were 7!” Childe defended.

“I guess that's true, and I did have fun,” he replied, patting Childe's head. Admittedly, he did have fun as Little Li. Playing elemental puzzles, sparring without holding back, playing card games, being doted on by his adepti and Childe. Yep. He had so much fun.

“You would make a great father, Ajax,” he commented and Childe laughed to hide his blushing face.

"On another note,” Zhongli said, before he gave Childe a side glance and a dangerous smile.

“I remember you feed me… certain food I despise. It’s engraved in my memory now and I will hold you responsible for it,” Zhongli said, grimacing when he accidentally recalled that octopus leg soup going into his mouth. He cursed his excellent memory and wished Nahida had kept that part locked forever.

“Sorry, Xiansheng, I really didn’t know how to make other soup, and you asked for soup!” Childe unremorsefully said, he even had the audacity to laugh.

“I also remember you making me call you 'gege'. Such blasphemy. I didn't know you have such interest, Ajax," Zhongli said. He gave side eyes to Childe with a teasing smile on his lips. The human’s face once again painted pink. He huffed and looked away.

"W-well– just– just shut up!" Childe pouted, unable to think of a come back.

Zhongli smiled wider. Teasing Childe was a blissful thing, and he was sure any version of him would agree. Besides, Childe only blushed like this in front of him, that made him felt a little happy.

"What else do I remember? Hmmm ah yes, What did you like about me? Kissable lips and squishable behind?" Zhongli questioned.

"Hey! I said much more than just that!" Childe protested with a pout.

And because Zhongli was a cruel cruel lover, he didn't stop there, "Oh, how many children do you want me to conceive? Enough to fill a village, was it? My my, just how many times do you plan to f–"

"Zhongli!" Childe interjected, face bright red, as bright as his hair, it made beautiful contrast with his eyes. Truly beautiful.

Zhongli couldn't help but to chuckle. He loved how he could reduce the normally confident menacing harbinger into a blushing mess like this.

"Ugh, I hate how you manage to always tease me no matter your condition," Childe muttered, lightly punching Zhongli’s shoulder.

"I hate it even more that I like that about you," he sighed helplessly and leaned to get a quick kiss from his lover.

When they parted, Zhongli put his hand on Childe's chest, feeling his mark on his lover. He sighed, he didn't blame Little Li for it, after all the mark had been useful as a sign during the time he lost his memory, but this was going to be an inconvenience for sure. For one, Tsaritsa was definitely going to notice this, he could only hope she didn't take this as a transgression.

"On a serious note, I think I should go to Snezhnaya soon, would you accompany me?" Zhongli said. The least he could do was to go notify the Tsaritsa himself, he didn't want to cause his lover inconvenience after all.

Childe perked up at the request. Zhongli? Going to Snezhnaya? With him?! That would be a dream come true! He wanted to introduce Zhongli to his family. He had been writing home about Zhongli, none of them believed there was someone as perfect as Zhongli and they accused Zhongli was imaginary.

"That’ll be great! Tonia had been accusing me of lying, she insisted that my hot powerful boyfriend must be imaginary. Finally I can show you off to her!” Childe happily said. He couldn't wait to see Tonia’s shocked face. Zhongli only fondly chuckled at that. Although he couldn't deny he would look forward to see Ajax’s little siblings.

“But why so sudden?" The human questioned.

Zhongli's fingers once again touched Childe’s chest, and Childe could feel heart beats that wasn’t his own on the quincunx mark. It was Zhongli's heart beats.

"I have to explain this to the Tsaritsa. I don't want her to misunderstand and thought you are a traitor," Zhongli calmly explained.

"Ah, right," Childe nodded. He didn't know how his Queen would react to this. She either would not care or took this as an offense. If it was the later then there was a possibility of a fight between his God and the God he dated. That would be… a disaster. Childe hoped that wouldn't happen. A part of him believed it was more likely that Her Majesty wouldn't care as long as he still served as her weapon well. Besides… Tsaritsa used to be the god of love, she would understand.

Childe was still drowning in his own thoughts when Zhongli destroyed his train of thoughts by saying, "And maybe ask her if I can marry you,"

Childe choked on air.

Childe wasn't even done choking on air in surprise when his little bastard nonchalantly said, "Don’t look so surprised. You were the one who said I have to marry you first if I want to have your children,"

Childe, once again, choked on air.

"You–" at this point Childe was dying.

Zhongli chuckled. Childe swore his boyfriend was such a bully and he promised himself Zhongli would pay for this.

"The children part is joking. That will have to wait. However, the part about explaining to Tsaritsa is true," Zhongli stated, in a more serious tone.

Childe nodded and made a mental note to write to the palace to request an appointment with Her Majesty. But then, he couldn't help but to wonder, "The children part is a joke. The audience with Her Majesty is not… then… How about the marriage part, Xiansheng?"

"I want it to be, I want that for quite a while now,” Zhongli replied and Childe's heart almost burst out.

Childe cupped Zhongli’s face in his hands, before once again chastely kissing his lips and whispered, “I want that too,”

Zhongli nodded with a pleased smile. This might be the second happiest day, only bested by the day he got to call Childe as his.

“Then we shall make audience with your God soon, and see if this will be a conflict of interest or not,” Zhongli said, already constructing his words to bring this up with the Tsaritsa in his head. Then a million more things flew over his head.

“Ah, I have yet to receive your family’s blessing so I shall try to win it during the visit as well. And of course, plan a proper proposal that you deserve,” he added. Because Childe deserved the best and he wouldn't settle for anything less than that. He might need some advice from the teenagers of Liyue though, they're better at these kinds of things than an old dragon like he was.

Bubbles of happiness were bursting in Childe, but then upon hearing the word “blessing” his face became pale. If Zhongli had to earn his family’s blessing then… it meant…

“Oh Tsaritsa, does that mean I have to go on trials from adepti to get their blessing to marry you?” he said with so much horror in his face. He was a harbinger and he almost wasn't afraid of anything. Almost. Really, the adepti could be cruel when they wanted to. A memory of being targeted with the sharpest arrows he had ever seen passed through his mind. Then a memory of going into The Chasm and looking for an imaginary ore for Cloud Retainer came next. He shivered in horror.

“I really don't want to be Mountain Shaper’s archery practice target again. And oh Archons, no more torturous task from Cloud Retainer,” he whined and he pulled his hair. Truly, even fatui training was much better than those trials the adepti put him through. 

Zhongli laughed. He remembered those trials too. And while he wasn't quite happy with his adepti antics, he had agreed not to say a thing. Of course, this time, he would warn his adepti better, so as not to cause Childe any harm.

But Zhongli liked teasing Childe, so he said, “Oh? Didn't you say you would go lengths for me, is this the extent of it? Quite short, don't you think?”

Childe instantly looked offended and pouted his lips. 

“Hey! I never said I won't do it!” he defended.

“If it means I get you as my husband, then bring it on!” He added confidently. Zhongli laughed at that. He never doubted Childe of course. After all, even after all that happened, he endured everything and kept on trying for him.

Now that's everything was alright, perhaps, the poison wasn't all that bad. To Childe, having to spoil Little Li was a blessing, although the happening after it was hurtful, but it all had become a memory now. A memory they could look back on and smile upon.

Huh, maybe he should ask Zhongli to transform into Little Li. It would be fun to take Little Li around the town and tell people that he's his illegitimate son. The teenagers of Liyue would go crazy with their gossip, he was sure of it.

“It’s been an eventful month. And we have a lot to plan if we want to make an audience with Her Majesty, but for now,... Let's go home?” Childe asked. He offered his hand to Zhongli to hold.

Zhongli took the hand, and too easily intertwined them together before he replied,

“Yeah, let's go home, Ajax,”

🔹🔸 END 🔹🔸