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Fortune favored the bold, but being bold had never been in Ryou's favor. Everything in his life, it seemed, had worked hard to train him against being bold. To stay quiet and rabbit-like, tucked away safe in the burrow of his head while Fortune took her waltz with someone else.
And for the most part, Ryou was fine with that. Fortune wasn't particularly kind to even her favorite dance partners. All it took to know that was one look at Yugi's face when he didn't realize anyone else was watching.
He hid it, pretty well, for the most part. As someone who also hid their feelings behind a congenial smile, Ryou had always wondered how much of Yugi's bright optimism was genuine and how much of it was put on in a 'fake-it-till-you-make-it' style. Believe in the good of people and you'd find it. Believe things weren't as shitty as they felt and maybe they weren't so objectively shitty. Force reality to bend by sheer willpower instead of actually knowing it was going to be just fine.
These days, Ryou suspected that there wasn't and had never been a significant difference for Yugi. That his friend, from that first bright greeting and invitation to game, had always known people were terrible and only wanted things from him and that Ryou was no different. That the world was cruel and would ultimately only break his heart.
And yet, he had reached out to the creepy new kid anyway. And then continued to hang out with him, even after the whole 'attempted to trap your soul and steal from you and also maybe kill you but definitely make your life miserable' thing. And even with a hole in his soul, Yugi continued to believe he'd be okay eventually.
Because if he didn't, then he'd have to admit that he wasn't okay. That he would probably never really be okay ever again. And then what choice would be left, except to fall into the yawning pit of despair that the departed spirit had left behind in his soul.
But pretending only went so far, and in those moments between smiles and friends and the distractions of school... Yugi still slipped. His feet skidded, his grip weakened, and the despair climbed a little higher, a little closer to the surface. Sitting by himself in the corner of the lunchroom, this was one of those moments.
And lingering by one wall, unseen as a ghost himself, Ryou could see it. He knew the grief and the despair that came with it. He felt almost privileged to be able to see it, knowing the rest of Yugi's friends were so sure he was doing just fine. He'd sat in on one of those conversations, silent as everyone congratulated themselves and Yugi on how well he was doing these days. They didn't see and they didn't know. And most importantly, they weren't here to help.
There was only Ryou, who had to go in the face of all his instincts and try for a little boldness, just this once.
"Hey Yugi," he said, his voice pitched just loud enough to carry over the rest of the noise in the room as he approached.
Even still, Yugi jumped like he'd screamed in his ear. Wide eyes looked at Ryou and then a smile flashed onto his face. It was, Ryou was honored to see, only a little forced.
"Ryou! Hey, didn't know you had study hall this hour," Yugi said.
He replied with a shrug. Technically he did not, but the Spirit of the Ring had left him with a few benefits. One of which was the PE teacher's absolute terror at his presence and immediate agreement to let Ryou skip his class 'for medical reasons' whenever he wanted. He'd feel bad about it, except Ryou knew it was a relief to both of them when he wasn't in PE.
"It's nice to have some time away from it all," he said in place of an all out lie. He was good at half truths, another 'gift' from the Spirit. "I was wondering. Can you help me with my new deck?"
Instantly, he knew he'd said it wrong as Yugi's expression crumpled ever so slightly at the edges, a flicker of bored disappointment across his face that vanished with the biggest, brightest, and most fake smile Ryou had seen on him to date. And of course he was disappointed. Everyone knew that the separation from the Puzzle Spirit had been hard on Yugi, everyone had tried to be there for him. When Yugi's interest in Duel Monsters began to wane as they moved into their final year of school, everyone had assumed it was his suffering heart still in mourning.
No one had considered that it was because the game hadn't changed all that much in the last year and that Yugi could handily beat everyone at it and maybe, just maybe he was just a little bit bored and wanted to explore something else and maybe, just maybe if that something else was a little less entangled with ancient spirits that had broken his heart and worsened his already aggressive abandonment issues, maybe that was actually a good thing. Instead, all of his friends had pushed the old game harder, Tea and Tristan taking up an interest in deck building and Joey-- Well, Joey was always loud about his obsessions and he'd moved into intolerable as far as Ryou was concerned. That Yugi hadn't decked him yet was a clear sign of Yugi's pure and saintly nature.
And of course, even thoroughly exhausted by the game and clearly having a bad day, Yugi turned towards Ryou with his smile softening into a real one as he patted the seat beside him and said, "Of course, Ryou. Are you still running an occult deck?"
"What? Oh, no, I mean..." Technically, he had never run an occult deck. That was all the Ring Spirit, Ryou himself was partial to melffy decks. There was something deeply satisfying about summoning something cute and fluffy and destroying his opponent completely. No way in hell would the Ring Spirit ever be caught even saying the words 'melffy puppy.' "I’m uh, not actually asking about a duel deck."
Yugi's expression was understandably blank, even as Ryou held up the slim stack of cards in his hand. But then, to Ryou's delight, that look evaporated with a head tilt and Yugi's eyes came alive. Gone was the edge of boredom, the hint of despair. Instead, his gaze shone bright with curiosity and maybe just a hint of excitement as he wiggled forward in his seat. "What are those then?"
Ryou took the eagerness as an invitation and sat down across from him, letting the cards fan out in his grip. "These are Lenormand cards. They're for fortune telling."
"Like your tarot cards?" Yugi asked curiously. He reached out cautiously, then hesitated.
"Similar," he replied, pushing the cards into Yugi's grip. He watched as his friend shuffled through them with an expert's hand, quick but gentle, not even scuffing an edge. "They come out of the same general tradition of cartomancy and you can actually link both back to a deck of basic playing cards."
"Really?" Yugi asked, pausing to look at an illustration before shuffling on.
"Oh yes! The suits in a tarot deck correspond with the suits of a common card deck and every one of these cards match up with a suit card as well," Ryou said. "The woman these cards were named after, she started with just a normal deck of cards to do her work. A lot of fortune tellers did!"
"That's really neat," he said with an infectious grin. "So you could tell my fortune with any card deck?"
"Well. In theory," Ryou said, stumbling a little. It was half because of that grin and half because it was a bit embarrassing to have several expensive card decks when any cards would technically do. "I... do like these cards. Because of the art. And. It's easier to read the meaning from them, I'd have to memorize each of their correspondence and then the meaning--"
"Hey." The gentle touch of Yugi's hand on his, so unbelievably warm, shocked Ryou out of his babble. "Do you know how many variants of the Dark Magician Girl card I own?"
"Uh..."
"I own seventeen," Yugi said. "And I can only play three in my deck at any time. So technically I only need three, right?"
"But... the different art and..." Ryou's justification was weak, but he was also struggling to figure out how there were seventeen variants of the Dark Magician Girl card. He'd only seen a couple of different artworks for her and he guessed that maybe there were some different language cards.
"Exactly," Yugi beamed. "Technically I only need three at most for my deck. Technically you can do all the same divination with a three dollar deck of cards. But that's not fun. And the whole point of games is fun. Though... I guess these aren't about fun if you're telling the future..."
He tapped the card with a furrow in his brow and Ryou reached over to gather the cards back, though he stopped to pat Yugi's hand. And then left it there, savoring the moment of their connected touch. They made a circuit like this and Ryou wondered if the shiver that rolled through him passed on to Yugi.
"They can be fun," he said, trying to distract himself from the shiver. "Sometimes reading the cards is more serious, like when you really need guidance. But often, it's just for entertainment, but with a little friendly soul searching. And since I haven't really attuned myself to these cards yet, all of the readings are more for fun than for anything serious."
Yugi's expression lightened again and he even turned his hand over to lightly squeeze Ryou's hand on top of the cards. The shiver became a jolt of excitement that sent the air scattering from Ryou's lungs.
"In that case, I'd love to have a reading!" Yugi said with a smile wide and honest in a way few of his smiles had been lately.
"Great," Ryou breathed. He faltered for a moment longer, before he picked up the cards and began to shuffle them. "So, we're going to handle this first part like a tarot reading. I don't know if there's anything in particular you're supposed to do for a Lenomorand reading, but in tarot, you focus on your question and then, when I feel the cards are ready, you cut the deck. Okay?"
"Got it!" Yugi said, leaning forward to watch the shuffling.
He did a shorter job than he usually did, feeling his face warm just a little too much for proper concentration under Yugi's gaze. But that was alright, as he told Yugi, this was just for fun. It wasn't a deep or serious reading, it was just something to cheer his friend up a little with a good distraction. The Lenomorand cards were great for that, they gave out very few dire readings. And they weren't his tarot cards, which had been all too pointed as of late about any reading regarding Yugi. Every single damn deck of them.
Yugi cut the deck with the grace of a professional duelist when Ryou handed them over. He couldn't help but watch those hands work, the skill and grace in them hidden behind chipped and bitten nail polish. It actually took him a moment to realize Yugi was holding the deck out patiently for him.
"I couldn't really think of a question," Yugi admitted as Ryou accepted the cards back. "That's not going to be a problem, is it?"
Ryou shook his head and laid the cards down between them, jumping on any and all impulses to apologize. That would only make all of this weirder. "Just for fun, remember? Alright, let's see... Our first card is... The Bear."
Yugi immediately began snickering at the title, making Ryou roll his eyes.
"Not that kind of bear," he said. "This card represents power and strength, often leadership. If it's a person, it can be a boss or someone else in a position of significant power."
"Are you... sure you didn't mean that kind of bear?" Yugi asked. He didn't snicker, but the wiggle of his eyebrows said plenty.
Ryou cursed his pale skin as it flushed but he shot back with calm, "I don't know, Yugi, it's your reading, any bears in your sphere of life that you haven't told me about?"
He was pleased to see Yugi blushing far worse than his own red and took advantage of the distraction to flip over a second card, laid next to the first. It was another animal, red and bushy tailed. "Hm, the fox," he said. "Cunning and trickery. Which can be a good thing, but it can also be a warning to be cautious."
"So I need to be careful of any bears I meet?" joked Yugi.
"Sort of," Ryou said. He used two fingers and tapped the cards together. "See, the thing about these cards is that you always read them in pairs. So the bear, leadership, and the fox, suspicion. Together, they represent distrust of leadership or that suspicion is dominating all areas of your life."
Yugi sobered a little, looking at the cards with a more thoughtful expression. Ryou couldn't quite pierce the meaning, so he flipped over a third card and laid it beside the other three.
"The key," he said. "This card is all about opening up or the freedom of reaching a goal or resolution. Going through a door, essentially, that has been blocking you for a long time." He reached back and tapped the middle card. "In a lot of ways, it's in direct conflict with our fox, the suspicion or caution card. So that's what this pairing represents, either that conflict of paranoia versus a desire to trust... or alternatively the cards are calling for you to be cautious when opening up."
That didn't make Yugi's thoughtful expression go away as he leaned over the cards on one elbow. "So what's it saying? Be paranoid and then don't open up?"
Ryou shook his head. "We have one more pair here." He tapped the first card, then the last. "The bear and the key. Leadership and openness. Encouragement to open up to a leader. Or to use the strength the bear represents to open something else up. So if anything, the cards are saying you were paranoid all the time, the conflict wore on you... and now maybe it's time to open up."
And maybe tell his friends just how much he was actually hurting, Ryou thought. It was one way to read the cards.
But it didn't seem to be the conclusion Yugi reached as he studied the spread. And then looked up at Ryou with piercing purple eyes that seemed far too knowing. "Are you... sure this reading is about me?"
Ryou returned a blank look. "What?"
"Well, I mean, it sounds a lot like you," Yugi said. He reached over, his arm brushing against Ryou's body. The warmth of him seeped in past the striped shirt Ryou wore, sinking into his very core. The card reader had to struggle to put all his focus on Yugi's fingers as he tapped one image and then the next.
"See," Yugi said. "You've got a life dominated by paranoia. That. Sounds a lot like your life before. With the Ring. When we met, you were really scared that the Spirit would come after anyone you made friends with, right? That we'd get hurt? It made you really scared about opening up to us." He tapped the fox and the key. "Which is what these cards represent, right? The conflict between wanting to open up but being paranoid about it. And then you talk about overpowering boundaries..."
Yugi fell silent, thoughtful, both of his hands on the cards now, half of his side pressed against Ryou. The heat of his body was overpowering, Ryou could smell his shampoo and he couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly Yugi fit there, curled up against him. A strand of wild hair brushed against his cheek and Ryou had to hold his breath before he did something stupid.
"I think..." Yugi said quietly. "I think...."
He looked into Ryou's face again and he was close, so close that Ryou could feel the brush of his breath against his face, against his lips. He was drowning in those perfect, beautiful eyes, when...
"I think we should hang out more!" Yugi finished brightly.
"Wh-what?" The words left Ryou floundering, the ground no longer under him, confusion ruling all. Because Yugi was still too close, far too cheerful, and apparently oblivious to how much Ryou really wanted to kiss him.
"We should hang out," Yugi insisted. "Just you and me. I know you hang out with the whole group, but also, like... I know you're quiet a lot too. And I get it! The gang can be a lot and loud and..."
Yugi seemed to realize he was rambling, that Ryou was just staring at him with his mouth hanging open a bit. So he let his eyes drop and pulled back, just a bit, leaving Ryou floundering without the warmth of him right there. At least until Yugi set his hand on the table beside him, brushing their pinkies together. So much for Ryou ever thinking again.
"I like you, Ryou," Yugi said, and the white haired young man almost choked on his own spit. "You're a good friend. I've always felt that, even when... things were weird and hard with the spirits. So I'd like to be better friends. If... if you're willing to open up and let me in."
There were about a thousand things that Ryou could say and a million more he didn't dare ever let cross his lips. Questions about if that was a love confession or just a friend confession. If Yugi actually understood the difference between love and friendship and also if that mattered in any way, shape, or form at the moment. It had to matter. Did it matter? That hanging out more with Yugi was absolutely everything he could have wanted but also maybe it wasn't Ryou who had to open up, but Yugi? Oh, who was he kidding, the cards had him dead to right, Ryou definitely had trouble opening up, that was true with just about everyone except maybe Yugi, but it was Yugi's reading, so maybe it was about how Yugi needed to take charge and stop waiting for other people (or spirits) to lead him around. Except also wasn't that exactly what he was doing now, by taking charge of saying that Ryou and he should hang out more and oh no, Yugi was still waiting on a response and okay, there were a thousand things to say and think but there was one thing....
"Yes," Ryou said, the word fast and breathless as it left him, terrified he'd been quiet for too long or all the thoughts bouncing around his head were just plastered embarrassingly across his face for Yugi to read.
But the gamer just beamed at Ryou, not looking the slightest bit awkward, but instead looking like Ryou had passed him a big shining present. "Okay great! Are you free this Saturday? Tea has dance and everybody else has work that day. Well, so do I, but if you don't mind hanging out in the shop, we can hang out all day!"
"I... I'd love that," Ryou said and was surprised to find he meant it. Not just the idea of spending a whole afternoon with Yugi and no one else to interrupt. But hanging out in the cozy little game shop, with all sorts of things to look at and talk about and if he brought over a few miniatures to paint, that was practically like advertising for the shop, right? So Yugi could work and he could paint and...
And Ryou couldn't think of anything he'd rather do more.
"I'd love that a lot," Ryou said, and found that he was smiling as well. And for a rare change, both of them were wearing real, genuine smiles. His own was smaller than Yugi's brilliant grin, but it was wholly his own, without a drop of force.
"Great!" Yugi said. He looked up as the bell rang and then leaned forward to help Ryou gather up his cards. There were only the three of them, but he did it even so, their fingers brushing together as the deck was collected for Ryou to put away. There was a noticeable edge of pink on Yugi's cheeks when he took his hands back and Ryou did not miss the slightly flustered way that he gathered his own things up quickly. "Okay, gotta get to class. I. Uh. I'll see you? On..."
"On Saturday," Ryou said, firmly, gently, and he was rewarded with another flash of grin before Yugi darted away, shaking his head. Ryou took his sweet time on leaving the table, he had no desire to rush. Not when his heart was a warm bubble in his chest, ready to burst as he thought about Saturday.
A card slipped loose from the deck before he got them all put away, and landed face up. Ryou paused as he picked it up.
The Heart card. Amicability. Forgiveness. Reconciliation.
Love.
"Alright fine," he muttered, to himself and to the deck. "You win, message received. But seriously, have a little bit of subtly next time. Just because he's your favorite, doesn't mean you have to be so bloody obvious about it."