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Something is wailing in his ear, Nagi thinks, if thinking is really what he’s doing right now.
Except it’s not as much wailing as a chisel in his skull, the hammer coming
down,
down,
DOWN.
Cracking his skull like an egg, letting what remains to drip out.
The voice is everywhere.
Like when too many people are talking all at once, the voice rattles through his skull,
down his spine,
through every fiber of his body,
like it is lightning and he is the rod.
Shredding his thoughts into pieces,
how can he somehow see and not comprehend what could be two feet in front of him?
It hurts.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts,
IT HURTS.
His brain is boiling in his skull,
his grey matter marinating within itself,
his eyes simmering in the heat.
Everything boils and stings and drills into his body, and there is no relief.
There is a voice in his head, and it tells him to do things.
Obey. For the glory of New Himuka.
Obey. For the glory of New Himuka. Dissenters must die.
Obey. For the glory of New Himuka. Dissenters must die. Retrieve the brain.
OBEY. FOR THE GLORY OF NEW HIMUKA. DISSENTERS MUST DIE. RETRIEVE THE BRAIN.
YUITO MUST DIE. TEAR HIM TO PIECES. BRING THE HEAD.
He doesn’t understand.
The words don’t mean anything to him, not when his brain is a housefire, and he is burning down.
He repeats the words, trying to roll them over in his head as if they will somehow make sense.
Like it will make the inferno stop.
Something is wrong with them, but he can’t tell what.
He goes where it hurts the least, now.
He fought against it, he recalls, and that’s why it hurts so much.
He slammed his head against the walls, trying to get the sound out.
Desperately trying to see if the words would escape through a massive crack in his skull.
Why did he do that?
What was he trying to do?
It was important.
It was so important.
What was it?
But he goes where it tells him to,
like how a man with a migraine recoils from light.
His body is distant from him.
He’s shrieking, he thinks.
He’s fighting.
He’s dying.
He’s bleeding.
He can taste copper tears.
And in the distance is hysterical laughter like sobbing,
like ecstasy.
There’s no winning against it, he realizes with a distant chill, a sharp piece of clarity 20 miles away.
His mind is collapsing beneath him,
his lungs failing,
his heart stopping.
There is not much of anything he can do.
He knows this buried in the searing heat and thundering voices.
And yet… and yet…
He hears him from so far away.
Yuito.
He’s yelling, Nagi thinks.
He’s crying.
What is he crying about?
...Why is Nagi trying to kill him?
…no. No, no, NO. It can’t be true. He’s a traitor to New Himuka. Nagi needs to extract his brain, all for the glory of—
SHUT UP.
That’s not him!
But what can he do?
What can he do?
The voice covers him like a second skin, blurring out him.
Isn’t there anything he can do?
Suddenly, amid all the pain, he can see it in the distance: him and Yuito.
Making the promise to make it together.
And he would weep, but he’s already dripping blood from his eyes.
How did we go so wrong?
Nagi wants to ask, but all that comes out is a snarl.
What did we do that was so wrong?
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
If comes between me dying and me killing you—
GET OUT OF MY HEAD! STOP STOP STOP STOP—
Something gives within him.
And Nagi realizes, with resignation, with relief, with sorrow, with pain—
He’s out of time.
He’s… standing? Sitting? On the ground?
The sky is in his view.
He doesn’t know where he is.
He doesn’t know why he is.
There are hands on him. Someone speaking in the distance.
The world comes into blurring, stuttering view for what feels like the first time in forever.
And he’s there.
He can’t quite see him—his eyes aren’t working—but he’s there.
Yuito.
Yuito.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it.
I’m sorry I didn’t try harder, do better.
Sorry I tried to fight you.
Sorry I tried to kill you.
Telling me they’d kill me… if I had known it would end like this…
Yuito’s trying to tell him something.
He can’t hear him.
His ears don’t work.
There’s no coming back from this, Yuito.
But why?
How?
An unlucky star?
A cursed fate?
How could this have happened?
It should have been me and you, Yuito.
Together.
To the end, right?
We made it, didn’t we? OSF, together.
Like we always planned.
It wasn’t going to be forever… but I’d hoped at least it’d be a while.
Seto Platoon. Together.
Seto… Captain Seto… you stopped me. I’m sorry. I wish I could apologize—
But… I killed him, didn’t I?
I’m sorry it’s too late.
I’m sorry I killed you, Captain.
I’m sorry I can’t apologize with my fading heart.
Dusk is coming, and it’s getting dark.
He can’t quite see anymore. Was the sky blue? Gray?
Someone’s still crying. There are other people there.
And he can’t feel it anymore, but there are still arms around him.
Still hands holding him.
Yuito.
Yuito, Yuito, Yuito.
You’ve always had the answers, right? My brain isn’t quite working right anymore.
I wanted to die a hero, you know Yuito?
I wanted to fight to the end. Save someone.
I wanted to fight to the end, but not like this.
Not against you.
What have I done?
What could I have done?
I can’t remember it all now, but…
How did I mess up? Where did I go wrong?
If I was going to die in every place…
Is there anything I could’ve done?
Yuito…
My best friend.