Chapter Text
Even after his climactic fight with Annie where they destroyed half on an entire district, something still weighted down on his chest. Eren couldn’t properly articulate what exactly was happening inside his head but he knew there was something he just couldn’t understand right then and there.
He still remembered the tears that were pouring down her cheeks as he moved in to squish her body until nothing was left of it. Through his titans’s own eyes he saw not fear but sadness and a deep sense of longing that he usually witnessed on his own face when he stared into a mirror.
The child who was wronged by the world when he was his own mother get eaten right before his eyes desired to reach out and help her. To give her comfort that he so desperately needed that day. The warm touch of someone who wouldn’t tell him what to do or feel, just be there to lighten the weight of his shoulders.
Yet the hardened soldier that was still inside of him said a different story. ‘Kill her.’ It spoke to him. ‘Don’t you remember, she’s the reason that you’ve lost everything that day.’
It egged him on. Promising sweet satisfaction as he would ripped her head off with a simple flick of his wrist. Telling him that the tears were a simple act of evil. A magical action that made her enemies hesitate, allowing her survival to continue.
He didn’t want to listen to it. That’s why he had been so happy when she formed the crystal shell around her body. A veil that let him keep that young part of him alive.
Though he knew he would have to once again do something similar. Eren figured that if one shifting Titan was in the military then more could also be hiding. The failed attack when we first awakened his powers was proof of that. The timing was way too perfect for it to simply be some civilian who knew nothing of when the military was doing its operations.
Having them know that there will be green behind the ear's cadets instead off veterans on top of the walls would only be known by the military.
As his titan's body disappears into thin smoke, he thought of just who he might have to fight next. ‘A friend? Comrade? Instructor?’
He got help getting out of the flesh as he thought more about it, ignoring the third voice inside his head. The one that ordered him to devour the girl right then and there.
After that day each time he engaged a titan in battle he heard that voice whispering in the back of his head. One that did not promise satisfaction but power. Power so great that he’d be able to kill all his enemies in a flash.
Cause destruction so massive that the Colossal Titan would tremble in his boots. Armor tougher and thicker than anything the Armored one could dream off.
From there it all got worse. Each time he saw Armin even in his human form after he had eaten Berthold… he would hear it speak of him as unworthy. A coward who was too afraid to wield the power he was saved by. One that should be ashamed of his own existence as it was an affront to every shifter after him.
And worse of all Eren actually agreed. He saw his childhood friend as inferior to him. One who would never live up to Erwins ideals and legacy. And when it was all over, he wished he had actually done it…
He also wondered if devouring Mikasa would give him her monstrous strength…
After returning to the past Eren was fully sure he would hear the voice nag him once again, especially near the Marley trio. But to his surprise especially during his spar with Annie no voice tired to sway him into devouring her. Not once did he feel lightning tingle under his skin and try to bring forth the beast made of flesh from the Paths.
Maybe that’s why he was still worried each time he glanced at any of those outsiders. He considered that they might no longer have the power they once held but seeing Annie right then and there proved it all.
She had caught Eren, Historia and Floch speaking about matters no one should, yet lacked the eyes of someone who would try to oust them to the public.
All she did was relocate them far away from the camp into a dense forest. A location where it would be simple to overpower her and get rid of the evidence. But it felt lime his body refused any action towards harming the blond.
The sun shined brightly over their heads as the soft grass bent under the weight of their bodies. Shallow footprints were left in every spot they walked on.
Something that made Eren immediately suspicious and try to order an answer out of the girl who was leading them. But he held back his tongue until they arrive in a clearing and she spoke up.
“I’m also from the future.” Five simple words that made them all suspicious.
“Bullshit.” Called out Historia. “Try to prove your words before I put you in the ground.”
That caused the female titan to grin. “And how would you do that your majesty?” She mock bowed in front of her. “If that isn’t enough then how about this; I still remember the fight atop that monstrous form you turned into Yeager. I can still see you doing your best to wipe us all out. For a short time, you became the closest being to a god yet still lost. How sad.”
“Fine, let’s say that I believe you. Then how are you back here and not in the future, celebrating your victory.” Eren questioned as he moved towards her, begin only a slight bit taller than her.
“Oh, you should know.” She teased him and reached to touch his cheek. “Staying in the crystal for so long had left me exhausted and drain of all energy. Had it not been for you giving me a slight boost when I got out, I would have definitely been dead on the spot. When you died, I knew my death was also imminent and after a month all my biological functions ceased to operate properly.”
Annie barked out in cynic laugher at her own misfortune and moved back from Eren. “I did wonder during that time if I had joined the wrong side in the end.”
“And what happened to Historia?”
“Aha, that…” She trailed off and pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. “I think you know exactly who took that shot. The damn Ackerman somehow learn that you two were together and once we returned to Paradis she decided to assassinate you, Reiss. And after that hell ensued.” The blond girl sat down on the grass and motioned for the rest to join.
“I’m guessing the soldiers loyal to her highness did not take any of that lightly.” Floch finally spoke up as he kept on observing the girl for the slightest muscle movement.
“Exactly. In seconds hell erupted as we became even more hated than before. We all had to run and hide from an entire country which became hellbent on killing us. And that stupid brat Armin still desired to protect that Hizuru maniac.” She spat out Armin’s name in fury and didn’t even wish to say Mikasa’s. “At least I died relatively soon before another war would be sparked.”
“Was there really so much tension still between the nations?” Historia had a hard time imagining that any country would still desire war even after her husband failed to wipe out all of humanity.
Leonhart nodded solemnly in confirmation. “Yes. Out off all the countries Paradis suffered the least yet sudden the Queen is killed by the same woman who murdered Eren Yeager in cold blood. Not only did Hizuru suddenly look like the enemy but also anyone not from Paradis couldn’t be trusted. While every other countries military was crippled this one wasn’t. It only lost a small contingent of troopers during the Marley air raid and those who protected the harbor with the red haired one and later your death down the road.”
Pointing at Eren she sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. “Any other questions?”
“Probably when did you return here.”
“Around a week ago. I suddenly found myself hitting the wooden floor with a young body fully ridden of all pain and internal bleeding. For a second, I thought I was sent to hell itself for all the evil deeds I had committed and thought that maybe I’d find some other poor souls who got dammed.” She glanced at the sky and then back at the ground in thought. “I probed for information for a day until I heard you speaking about things you shouldn’t know with Historia, Eren. Of course, I knew that you’d have a special place in hell for the shit you pulled at the very end but her?”
“No way was I going to believe that miss Queen would get thrown into the pit and not heaven instantly. She’s far too good to be placed next to cursed beings like us.” They all knew it to be true, even if Historia might try to argue against it. Both Eren and Floch agreed that there was no redemption for the two of them. Maybe after reincarnating thousands of times someone would feel pity for them…
“Fair enough. And is that why you approached us now, waiting until we said something implicating?” Floch spoke up, not caring to look the woman who was partially responsible for his dead in the eye. “Trying to stop us before we can even get properly started?”
“No.” A simple word that had all of them halt their thought process and look at her once more.
“You serious?” They all spoke at the same time.
“Very serious.” Annie was done. “I’m exhausted by everything; it all feels like the sky will crush me at some point. All my life I’ve only known how to fight and kill people… and I’m sick and tried of it all.”
There was no emotion in her voice as she voiced her thoughts and feelings. “I’ve done my best as a warrior and failed. I tried to be a soldier yet betrayed everyone and at the end I sided with the wrong people one last time and died pathetically. Is it wrong for me to just wish for my existence to end already.”
Silence reigned supreme as none of the trio had any coherent sentence to say. They were, for a lack of a better word, shocked by the dynamic change from the old Annie to this one. They didn’t say anything in fear of accidentally insulting her.
At their core they all understood her reasons and agreed with her. She was also a person with a soul that could only take a finite amount of damage before cracking. Her desire to lay down her arms and live peacefully were admirable and something that she should have been able to do, regardless of her previous actions.
“Sure, once everything is done, I think all of us will quit this shit life of war and strife before retiring away from other people.” Said Eren as he stood up from the grassy field and moved towards Annie. “But before all that is given to us, we will have to keep moving forward.”
“Tch, can’t you leave me be just this once Yeager?”
“Hmph, fine, then stay here and die so the warrior still inside of you can fight with us.” He then turned around and began to walk away.
“That old me is long gone you idiot. Same with the violent titan killer you also once were. None can escape the winds of change as we grow older by the day.” Leonhard got off the ground and began walking away with Eren. “You suck at giving speeches, Historia is far better suited to be the public representative than you.”
“How did you even circle around to that topic?” Historia inquired as she and Floch caught up with the two.
“You don’t remember that his only motivational speech was about joining the Scouts and sacrificing his life for the greater benefit of humanity. A load of shit that only gets people killed, at least you now know the real truth behind the existence of titans.” No, they all did remember the passionate speech about giving it your all for humanity. And for a teen with too many fantasies in his head it wasn’t a bad speech by any stretch of the imagination. It just…
“Fair. Eren sometimes forgets to look at a problem from the perspective of other people and not his own. Maybe you should take some lessons from Erwin’s example. He was able to rally troops and have them march towards their deaths.” The golden-haired Queen quipped at her husband as she joined him by his side.
“Ha ha, very funny. Do I look like I’m that passionate of a guy or something? I’ll leave all of that boring stuff to you while I kill some people.” Eren snorted at her previous idea as the four of them slowly returned to the training grounds.
——
‘Devourer them whole.’
‘Rip them apart with your bare arms.’
‘They are simply humans.’
‘No one cares about what happens to them.’
‘We are better. Greater. Superior.’
‘And so can you be, Eren Yeager.’
Eren could still hear all those voices inside his head as he woke up in the blue sand dunes of the Paths. He briefly wondered just what was happening to him before he stood up and tried to locate that blond girl once more.
He tried to move his body and stand up only to find out that he couldn’t move his legs. Or that he didn’t have any legs right now. Eren’s green eyes briefly wondered why he wasn’t feeling tremendous pain before his ears picked up someone moving behind him. He rotated his head and found the familiar blond woman standing over him with a bucket.
The girl slowly waddled her way over to his legs and threw out a bunch of sand from her wooden bucket and began to slowly build his body once again.
“Are you going to do this every time I come here? Just throw sand at me in silence until I fade once more to the waking world?” How many times had he seen this field already.
It felt like he’d always been in some weird mysterious way, connected to it. As if since his very first step in his world he’d been able to touch this plane briefly. As if the ground under his feet always melted into this blue sand and guided a path only meant for him.
He honestly couldn’t tell where this road that was constantly being built under him would lead. “Will you ever tell me why you keep doing this? Shouldn’t you rest already and give your job to someone else?” Eren leaned back and let the girl keep building his body. A few minutes passed and he was a visible change.
The blonde girl wasn’t aimlessly staring at the ground. No, she was looking directly at him with a piercing glare.
“Then…”
“Are we finally talking like normal people? Then could you tell me why I keep appearing here.” But his cries for answers would never be heard. At the very least not now. Maybe some day. But definitely not tonight.
“Then will you take over for me?” Soft words spoken with far too much steel behind them as she buried his head in sand.