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Felix knew it was coming. All the signs were there.
Loss of interest, one word texts, excuses about why he couldn’t hang out.
Byeongi was soft dropping him, and Felix was desperately hopeful, just like he always is, and now he’s standing in front of his ex boyfriend, a girl already on his arm, as he simpers, “It’s not you, Lix. It’s me. You’re not adventurous enough to match my needs.”
Ouch.
That last bit seemed unnecessary, really.
Felix feels the tears before his eyes go blurry, shoving through the crowd, searching for any respite. This frat house is a big one for parties, they host every weekend. Felix should know his way around better, but somehow he doesn’t.
He tumbles his way up the stairs, shoving through the first door, marked Maintenance.
No one should be here. He shuts the door behind him, letting out a wretched sob, sliding down the back of the door until he’s sat with his knees to his chest at the bottom. It’s dark, the only light pouring in from a window that overlooks the main room of the frat house. The place is weirdly laid out, like the living area was added onto a house, leaving a former external wall inside.
Felix’s eyes adjust slowly, and only then does he realize he’s not alone. A man, cross legged on the floor, only a few paces away due to how small the room is. He looks at Felix with wide eyes, hair soft and fluffy.
“Oh my god,” Felix blurts, hurrying to try to push himself up. “I’m so sorry— I’ll—“
“You can stay,” the man says, startlingly quickly, blinking once. “I mean. If you need a quiet place for a bit, this is probably your best shot.”
Felix sniffles, slowly sinking to the ground again. He doesn’t really want to go, not when he’s still a wreck.
They sit quietly, Felix breathing in little gasps as his tears fade away, the other man staring out the window, watching the party from above. Felix has never seen him before. He wonders why. He thinks he would have remembered if he did. The man is a type of handsome out of old romance novels, classic movies.
He catches Felix staring, and his cheeks go slightly pink. He clears his throat. “Did you know that Bang Chan and Seo Changbin are fucking?”
A tiny laugh bubbles out of Felix’s chest, completely unexpected. This man is completely unexpected. “No,” he says, wiping his cheeks of the last of his sorrows.
“C’mere,” he gestures Felix closer, pointing out the window.
Felix scoots across the floor, just enough to peer out. The window is tucked in the very corner of the house, a straight shot to the entire party. People dancing, playing pong, talking, laughing. Felix’s eyes are directed towards where Bang Chan is shoving his hand not so discreetly into Seo Changbin’s back pocket in the corner, whispering something into his ear. “No shit,” Felix laughs, mood brightening. “I thought they were straight.”
“Learn a lot of things from up here. Best seat in the house.”
“Sorry, I don't think I know you,” Felix pulls back to look at the man again. “What’s your name?”
“Oh,” the guy fidgets, shaking his head a little bit, like a nervous habit. “Kim Seungmin.”
A nice, handsome name. Felix grins, sticking his hand out. “Nice to meet you, I’m Lee Felix.”
Seungmin grabs his hand, the size difference making it a bit overwhelming. Warm and strong, completely casing Felix in.
“I know,” Seungmin says. His eyes grow, cheeks going pink again. “I mean, not in a creepy way, you’re just— popular— I— Sorry. I’m horrible at talking to people.”
Felix likes Seungmin. He decides right then and there. “No worries,” he scoots closer again, turning his attention to the party. “Do you have any more gossip? I’m a terrible fiend for the stuff.”
“God,” Seungmin blows out a long breath, raking his hand through his hair. “Where do I even begin?”
⋆
Seungmin has no idea why Lee Felix decided to talk to him. When he came up, Seungmin’s palms went clammy, his heart rate spiked. Felix was crying, obviously looking for somewhere to hide, and in all of his genius, of course Seungmin told him he could stay. What else was he supposed to do? It’s Lee Felix.
The very first time Jeongin caught Seungmin staring at Lee Felix, he said, “Don’t bother, Min. He’ll never even look at us.” And Seungmin had probably shot back something about how Hwang Hyunjin would never look at Jeongin, either. But Seungmin has always been the more unlucky of the two, and Hyunjin did look at Jeongin, and now it’s been a year and Hyunjin is still looking, this time at his boyfriend, and Seungmin is— or, had— still been pining over Felix from afar.
But then Felix came to his party spot and sat next to him, crying, and Seungmin got a headrush and told him he could stay. Because he’s stupid and reckless, and would apparently love to further embarrass himself in front of the most beautiful man in the world.
To be frank, he was so sure Felix would leave after he randomly dropped the bomb about Chan and Changbin, not a thought in his stupid, scrambled brain about how creepy it might sound. But Felix’s eyes lit up, and he came closer, and then he asked for Seungmin’s name.
Seungmin would always get scolded when he was young for gossiping. His mom would tell him it’s not nice to talk, but, to be honest, even after twenty three years, Seungmin still hasn’t found anything as thrilling as a good gossip session. Food for the soul.
How lucky is he, that his dirty little pastime has become the thing that made him interesting to Lee Felix? The most beautiful man in the world— because it bears repeating.
He’s working through a haze of disbelief for the next few days, coming down from the contact high of sharing space with Felix.
Jeongin notices, because he’s always had an annoying knack for reading Seungmin, even when no one else can. He pokes Seungmin with his toe from where he’s sitting across the couch, Hyunjin between his legs, hanging off of him like he’ll die if he lets go. They’re disgusting. They act like they haven’t been together for over a year.
“Why are you acting fucking weird,” Jeongin pokes him again.
“I’m not acting weird, fuck off,” Seungmin smacks his foot away, shoving himself further into the corner of the sofa.
“You are. Did you let Wooyoung and San fuck you again? You always get pensive and weird when you do that.”
“No, god,” Seungmin groans. “I just— talked to Felix at the party last weekend,” he mumbles the words fast, hoping Jeongin will let it go. No such luck. Even Hyunjin perks up, eyes widening.
“You what?”
“I talked to Lee Felix. It’s no big deal—”
“No big deal, Min—” Jeongin snorts. “You’ve been thirsting over the man from afar for like, ages.”
“Okay, well. I kind of doubt that I’ll ever talk to him again. We just had a nice conversation. I don’t know. You said it yourself, people like him don’t really go for people like me. I was just thinking, that’s all.”
“Min,” Jeongin droops a bit. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. That was so long ago, I thought Hyunjin would never stoop to my level, and look at us now!”
“Baby,” Hyunjin pouts. “Why would you ever think that? You’re so pretty,” he kisses Jeongin square on the mouth. “And cute,” another. “And special.”
Seungmin knows he has mere seconds to escape before they start tonguing. He shoves his shoes on and slams the door when he goes.
Despite his doubts, Seungmin still pulls himself to his usual spot for the party that weekend. He’s got some sort of sick hope that Felix will come back, based on nothing at all. Last weekend Felix left with a small, “Thank you,” and a wave of his fingers after his friends texted him that they were leaving.
He’s beginning to lose hope as the night drags on, staring out the stupid little window, people watching. He hasn’t even caught a glimpse of Felix’s neon blue hair in the crowd. It’s kind of hard to miss. He’s hard to miss.
But then the door opens.
“You’re here!” Felix says, smile wide. His eyes shine in the light in the hallway, and Seungmin wishes he had a lamp in here or something, so he could watch them shine a bit longer.
“You’re blonde,” Seungmin blurts, because it’s all he can think about. Felix’s hair is freshly platinum, tucked behind his ears. And because he can always find a way to make things worse, “And not crying.”
Thankfully, Felix laughs, his nose scrunching up a bit. “Yeah. I kind of got dumped last weekend,” he plops down on the ground, right next to Seungmin, setting his chin on his knees to peer out the window. “I needed a change.”
“Oh, sorry about that. I guess I never really asked.”
“Nah,” Felix waves a lazy hand in the air. “I’m glad you didn’t, it would have made me more upset.”
Felix’s voice is smooth and deep, like rich chocolate melting on a hot day. Seungmin swallows, but his mouth feels dry. He tries not to stare too much, not wanting to be creepy.
“Well, I’m sure he didn’t deserve you.” He cringes immediately. Creepy must be his middle name.
“He didn’t,” Felix agrees, glancing in Seungmin’s direction. Somehow, each misstep Seungmin makes is taken in stride. He feels like less of an idiot than he normally would. “But it’s nice to hear it out loud.”
“Mmm,” Seungmin nods. He catches sight of Jeong Yunho moving through the crowd, towering over almost everyone else. “Did you know that Yunho and Jongho are brothers?”
Felix’s smile is electric, he leans in a bit closer. “God, you know everything, tell me more.”
“Jongho is embarrassed about it. He doesn’t want Yunho to tell anyone.”
“Do you come here for every party? Scoping out the best stories from above?” Felix doesn’t say it condescendingly, just genuinely interested.
“Most of them, yeah,” Seungmin shifts, a bit awkwardly. “More manageable than being in the thick of it. I’m too old for that.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty three.”
Felix laughs, shoulders shaking with the force of it, loud and deep and pretty. “You’re funny, Kim Seungmin.”
Seungmin is glad that the room is dark. He doesn’t want Felix to see the humiliating blush that’s crawling up his cheeks.
They sit for hours, laughing and talking. Seungmin can’t believe he’s living this life, that Felix is directing his smiles towards him. He thinks about pitching himself through the window no less than ten times, just to check he’s still breathing.
The worst part about it is that Felix is genuinely nice. Like, honest to god friendly and lovable. The type of person that makes everyone comfortable right away, like they belong. Seungmin had thought that his crush would lessen if he ever talked to Felix. That he’d find out that Felix’s personality is duller than his looks.
At some point Seungmin had asked Felix if he doesn’t have somewhere better to be, and he said, “No. I’m having fun. You’re interesting, Kim Seungmin.”
Seungmin has never been called interesting in his life. Boring, sure, weird, tons, but never interesting.
Felix’s phone buzzes somewhere around midnight. “Ope, that’s my friends. I’ll be going, but, see you again next week?”
“Yeah, definitely,” Seungmin smiles, and it doesn’t feel forced.
Lee Felix finds him interesting.
⋆
Felix thinks he might be due for a change of pace.
“You’re not adventurous enough to match my needs.” Byeongi had said. The bastard.
And really, Felix never has been very adventurous at all. He likes taking his time, doing things right. He doesn’t work on impulse, he likes reading books, he doesn’t kiss on the first date. The people he’s surrounded himself with have all been of a certain type. Loud and popular, big personalities and big egos to match. They drink instead of studying, have money to back up their bad habits. He has a horrible penchant for frat boys, all of them disappointing him in the end.
Felix has been so stupid. He could stand to hang around some more people like Kim Seungmin.
“Do either of you know Kim Seungmin?” he asks Minho and Jisung, the pair of them feeding each other bites from each other’s plates.
Minho and Jisung might be too slow for him. It took them two years to admit that they were interested in each other, even though they’ve been attached at the hip since they met. It’s nice to see some fellow dumbass representation in his life, though.
“Kim Seungmin?” Jisung taps his chin. “Is that not the most generic name in the world?”
“No,” Felix deadpans. “Lee Minho is the most generic name in the world.”
“Hey!” both of them complain at once.
Felix rolls his eyes. “He’s like— well I don’t know how tall he is, but he looks tall. Brown hair, soft and fluffy, he kind of looks like a puppy? He’s handsome in like, an old romance novel sort of way.”
Minho narrows his eyes. “Are you sure you didn’t make him up? He doesn’t sound real.”
“He is real! I’ve met him twice!”
“Kim Seungmin, Kim Seungmin,” Jisung repeats the name over and over like it will shed light on the issue. “I think, maybe, I had a tutor once named Kim Seungmin.”
“You had a tutor?”
“Well, I didn’t go,” Jisung laughs into his drink. “But he might have been assigned to tutor me.”
“Great. Such a big help you are,” Felix sighs, shoving his things into his bag. “I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, Lixie! Baby! I didn’t mean anything rude by it, c’mon pumpkin! Don’t be like that!” Jisung croons after him, his best impression of a clingy, douchey boyfriend. Felix gives him the finger as he stalks off.
When Felix shows up to the party that weekend he bolts straight up the stairs. It feels weird to be in a frat house for anything other than debauchery. Minho and Jisung didn’t even come with this time, he came on his own. He’s wearing sweats and a t-shirt instead of his usual party get up, and he’s smiling without her permission as he bursts into the maintenance room.
“Hi!” he says.
Seungmin is already there, switching on a lamp. Just a low glow. He’s standing, and now Felix can tell that he’s definitely tall. Instead of wearing a sweatsuit, like he had been the last two times, Seungmin is in tan chinos and a button down.
“Oh, wow,” Felix says, impressed. “You look cute!”
Seungmin coughs, like he’s choking on air. It takes him a good ten seconds to be able to speak, his face burning red. “Thank you?”
“Why do you sound confused? I feel underdressed now, I wore my comfy clothes.”
“I’m— You’re—“ Seungmin splutters, waving his hands between the two of them. “Never mind. I’m dressed like this because I came straight from a tutoring session. Didn’t have time to change.”
Oh. So he is Jisung’s Seungmin. Felix hopes Jisung’s flakiness won’t cause Seungmin to think low of him.
“That’s so cool. You must be really smart, hm?” Felix sits down in his usual spot, scooting up towards the window.
Seungmin joins him a minute later, his blush noticeably deepened. Felix feels a swell in his chest. He can’t stop smiling. “I mean. Not really, I just have a knack for math.”
“I’m terrible at math,” Felix sighs. “Maybe you can teach me an equation sometime.”
“I guess I could, sure. If you wanted.”
They sink into a comfortable silence, but Felix keeps catching Seungmin giving him wayward glances, like he wants to say something. Eventually Felix gives, looking over at him, smiling his prettiest smile. He wants Seungmin to like him so badly, everything feels easy between them.
“Uhm,” Seungmin’s face turns pink again. A cute habit, Felix thinks. “I was going to say before, you’re not underdressed, it’s nice to see you looking like you’re comfortable. You— uh— you look cute too.”
Felix’s cheeks ache with how wide he grins. He thinks if he were able to smile any wider he’d split in two. The way Seungmin acts so nervous, like he’s shy, Felix loves it. “Thank you. My ex boyfriend would always ask me to do my makeup. It gets tiring sometimes.”
Seungmin scoffs, openly, eyes shading over with disdain. “He sounds like a fucking asshole.”
Felix is surprised by the harshness of his words. Seungmin looks like the type to never swear, to stay polite and laced up. The change allows a shiver to run down Felix’s spine.
“He really was. Told me I’m not adventurous enough for him, because I didn’t want to go out every weekend.”
“But you’ve been here every weekend.”
“But this doesn't count, I’m just hanging out with you,” Felix chews on his lip. He doesn’t know why he feels a little embarrassed about the admission. Like he’s sharing something vulnerable. “It’s a lot more comfortable than chatting with tons of strangers, trying to maintain my image, whatever.”
“Mmm,” Seungmin hums, blinking his big, round eyes. Felix doesn’t know why Seungmin brought a lamp, or where he found it, but he’s suddenly glad that it’s there, so he can see the soft curves of Seungmin’s face better.
Fuck. Is he developing a crush?
“But, it’s good. I need a change of pace. I think you’re good for me, Kim Seungmin.”
Seungmin blushes again, chewing on his lip while he looks at his lap.
Felix has definitely developed a tiny, little, minuscule crush.
⋆
Felix asked for his phone number.
Seungmin thought he had died. Gone to heaven. But somehow, he is still living and breathing.
He asked for Seungmin’s phone, and then he typed his number in, set his name as “Lixie 😸” and said it’s because his friends say he looks like a cat. Then he told Seungmin it’s funny, because he thinks Seungmin looks like a puppy, and Seungmin was sure that if he wasn’t already dead, he’d be dying soon.
Felix asked for his phone number, and they’ve been texting, on and off, ever since Felix sent him a photo of a really fat squirrel he saw on campus. Seungmin returned a photo of his page filled with equations, and Felix sent back a vomiting emoji.
Seungmin feels a little lightheaded if he thinks about it too long.
He brought a lamp to the little room, and he probably shouldn’t have, because Felix looks even prettier up close when Seungmin can see the whole of him. He had his hair tied up, showing off his incredible bone structure, and, oh god, when Felix isn’t wearing makeup he has freckles. Beautiful, lovely freckles, smattered across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, and Seungmin wants to count them and kiss them and all sorts of other horrifically sappy shit that he wouldn’t dare admit out loud.
But now Seungmin is wondering if he should respond. Because what he and Felix have seems so fragile, so contained to their nights above frat parties, and yet, Felix texted him five minutes ago;
Lixie 😸
hiiiiii
r u on campus for lunch?
i have some time
can come meet u <3
And now Seungmin is wondering what the fuck he should do about it. Because what if Felix sees him in the daylight and realizes that he’s a loser. That he has two friends that care about each other more than him, evidenced by the way they’re pawing at each other across the picnic table from him right now. He’ll see Seungmin in the sunlight and realize he’s really average looking, and he eats his sandwiches cut to perfect squares, and he always has to have everything organized.
Seungmin isn’t cool. Not like Felix. He’s just— some guy. As soon as Felix realizes that, he’s going to get bored.
But Hyunjin and Jeongin are making gross smacking noises and low murmurs against each other’s necks, and Seungmin is feeling a little crazy. Because, if this thing is going to end eventually, it might as well be sooner rather than later, right?
Me
Yeah, I’m on the quad. Picnic table next to the history building.
Don’t mind my friends dry humping, they have no respect for me or anyone around us.
Lixie 😸
omw!
Seungmin throws his phone to the table, swallowing thickly. Suddenly his food, the same food he eats every single day, looks indescribably bland.
“Can you guys stop tonguing? I have a friend coming to meet me,” he calls, banging his fist on the tabletop.
Jeongin lifts his head from Hyunjin’s chest. “Why do you insist on using that word? Our mouths aren’t even close together. And what the fuck do you mean you have a friend coming?”
“I have a friend coming to sit with me for lunch break,” Seungmin repeats, refusing to look in Jeongin’s eye. “So just, please be cool. You guys embarrass me enough.”
“You just wish you had someone to love, Minnie,” Hyunjin whines, thunking to the bench when he slides off of Jeongin’s lap.
Usually, Seungmin would say Hyunjin is wrong. He doesn’t really care about that kind of thing. He’s had a few flings, some hookups. He dated a guy last year until it fizzled out. He’s never really felt jealous of what Hyunjin and Jeongin have, or any other number of people he runs into day to day. But Felix has been driving him half insane. Maybe he’d be fine with it, if it was a certain blonde at the other end of his affection.
That’s ridiculous, though. Felix would never.
“Hiya!”
Seungmin jumps at Felix’s greeting, spinning around to catch the show stopping smile on his face as he drops to the seat right next to Seungmin. He sits close enough that their knees knock, and Seungmin is pretty sure he could have sat a bit further away. Felix seems like the type of person to crave physical touch, though.
Hyunjin and Jeongin gape, jaws unhinged, not even attempting to keep cool. Seungmin widens his eyes in their direction, attempting to shoot the message to stop being freaks into their brains via his eyes.
Felix giggles a little awkwardly. “I’m Felix, Seungminnie’s friend,” he says, completely casually. He picked up the nickname like it’s nothing, and it makes Seungmin’s stomach fill with butterflies every time.
“Hi,” Seungmin says, brought back to reality. “Sorry, they don’t get out much, they’re too busy tonguing each other.”
This time, Felix’s laughter is genuine. Seungmin is getting good at telling the difference. “Such a good word.”
Seungmin can’t help but smirk. “The twink is Hyunjin, the other one is Jeongin.”
“Excuse me!” Hyunjin says at the same time Jeongin whines, “Why don’t I get a fun descriptor?!”
“It’s nice to meet you two!”
“Isn’t it?” Seungmin extends his foot out below the table, kicking Jeongin in the shin. Maybe it’s Hyunjin, he’s not discriminating or aiming. “They were just leaving, actually.”
“Ow!” Jeongin whines. When Felix looks at him questioningly, he puts on an embarrassed smile, “Sorry, Hyunjin grabbed my dick too hard. But, uh, yeah! We were going to go home and have sex. For like, ages, so. Bye!”
“Yo, really?” Hyunjin brightens up right away. “This rocks. You should come visit more often, Felix.”
“Goodbye!” Seungmin urges, jaw tight.
Felix laughs again, waving at them while Jeongin drags a dopey-faced Hyunjin away.
“I’m sorry—” Seungmin starts saying, but Felix doesn’t let him finish.
“I like them.”
“Oh.”
“So, what have you been up to today? It’s nice to see you in the daylight. Just as handsome as in the dark.” Felix smiles, completely casually, like he hasn’t just said something life-ruining.
Seungmin feels his face go hot, and Felix pokes him right in the cheek, giggling softly. “You’re not used to getting compliments, are you?”
All Seungmin can do is shake his head, speechless.
“We’ll have to fix that,” Felix decides, unzipping his bag and pulling out his own sandwich, cut into perfect triangles. Seungmin almost explodes with fondness. “You deserve to be told.”
“That’s really— god, I’m so bad at this,” Seungmin looks away, squeezing his eyes shut and willing down his blush. “It’s crazy that you could say that. You’re like, the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.”
Felix doesn’t laugh, or smile, or play it off as a joke. He just blinks up at Seungmin with wide eyes and says, “You really think so?” As if he’s never been told.
“Yes. I’d never lie to you, Felix.”
Seungmin knows he’s insurmountably fucked when Felix looks at him then, like he’s the only person in the universe. Like Seungmin has just given him a priceless gift.
⋆
Seungminnie 🐶
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I look how I do every time you see me.
Me
c’mon
pls 🥺
bc you like me sm
Seungminnie 🐶
This feels like emotional manipulation
[attached image]
See. Just how I always look.
Felix bites his lip, barely holding in the little squeal he so desperately wants to let out. His feet smack against the concrete. In the photo, Seungmin stares at the camera, his lips dropped apart so his bottom teeth are visible. His top lip is so soft and sloped, hair fluffy, his shirt buttoned all the way up. Seungmin manages to be so cute and so sexy at once. Felix simultaneously wants to kiss him and take his clothes off.
He’s dealing with his tiny little crush really well.
“What are you smiling about?” Minho eyes him suspiciously.
“Nothing, I’m just talking to this guy and he sent me a selfie,” Felix looks down again, surely making heart eyes at his phone. He’s known Seungmin for about a month now, and he thinks about him nearly all the time. They’ve started meeting up for lunch, texting during the days.
Okay, maybe the crush is more than tiny and little.
“A guy?!” Jisung moves before Felix knows what’s happening, plucking the phone straight from Felix’s hand.
Felix doesn’t complain, he just leans over, pressing his cheek to Jisung’s and staring at the photo with him. “Isn’t he so hot? I keep thinking about what he’d look like with his clothes off.”
“Uh,” Jisung hesitates. “I mean, he’s cute, but I don’t know if I’d go that far.”
“What?” Felix frowns. Jisung usually agrees with him. They notoriously have the same taste. “He’s cute and hot, it’s like, the best of both worlds, you know? And his hands are really, really big. Isn’t that sexy?”
“Oh my god,” Minho snorts, stealing a glance from Jisung’s other side. “You’re down so bad, man. That’s just some guy.”
“Shut up,” Felix scowls, stealing his phone back. He runs his finger along the edge of it, looking at Seungmin’s big brown eyes. “Don’t be mean to him. I really like him.”
“That’s great, Lix, he’s just not your normal type, that’s all,” Jisung says, just to really make it hurt, apparently.
“Okay? So what?” Felix feels red hot defensiveness burning in the center of his chest. He wants everyone to like Seungmin as much as him. Seungmin deserves it.
“Nothing! It’s just an observation,” Jisung pouts. It’s impossible for Felix to stay mad at Jisung for long when he uses that face.
“We just want the best for you, Lix,” Minho adds.
Felix saves the photo Seungmin sent, clicking off his screen for a minute. “Well, I think he’s really good for me, so.”
Seungminnie 🐶
Did my face shock you to silence?
Don’t you owe me one back?
Me
it shocked me to silence because ur so
fucking
cute
ohmygod.
you’re under arrest, kim seungmin.
Seungminnie 🐶
Shut up. I hate you.
Me
bet ur blushing rn
bet its super cute
Seungminnie 🐶
So what if I am?
Where’s my selfie?
Me
what r u doing rn?
wanna see the real thing instead?
lets skip the party tonight and do something else!
just us 2
They go to a cafe, and Felix can’t help but think it feels like a date.
Seungmin pays for his food and drink, and picks out a table, and he looks at Felix like he’s the only person in the universe.
Halfway through Seungmin’s story about something he and Jeongin did when they were in highschool, Felix reaches for his hand where it’s laying on the table. He almost regrets it when Seungmin stops in his tracks, cheeks red.
“Sorry, uhm, is this okay?”
“Yes!” Seungmin blurts, quick, adjusting their hands so that they’re twined more comfortably. “It’s okay, I was just surprised.”
“Okay,” Felix bites his lip, looking up through his lashes. He wants Seungmin to think he’s pretty. He wants Seungmin to like him back. He’s really, really into him, actually.
Kim Seungmin caught him by surprise. Lured him in with the promise of salacious gossip, kept him there with warm hands and a gentle voice.
Everything feels easy with Seungmin. Felix isn’t used to things feeling so easy. He thinks he likes it.
⋆
Seungmin walks in on Bang Chan and Seo Changbin going at it in an empty classroom on his lunch break.
“Oh my god! Seungmin, what the fuck!?” Changbin hurries to pull his shirt back on, Chan zipping up his pants.
All Seungmin can do is blink. “Uh.”
“Why are you even here?” Chan blurts, face red.
“I don’t remember,” Seungmin lies. He was just looking for somewhere to sit quietly and do his homework. But that seems like a lot to explain in this situation.
“Please— can you—”
“I’m not going to tell anyone you’re fucking,” Seungmin blinks again. “But, like, for the record, I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”
“We’re not fucking,” Changbin crosses his arms, affronted. “We’re in love.”
Chan nods seriously, blush not letting up.
“Okay, whatever. Everyone knows, it’s not like, a big deal.”
“We’d still appreciate it if you—” Chan starts in his irritatingly mature voice.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll keep my mouth shut,” Seungmin waves them off, rolling his eyes. He’s already on his way out, almost giddy over the thought of being able to spill the gossip to Felix later tonight. He heads for the door, bored, “I’ll see you two at home, yeah?”
“See you at home,” the two of them say, weakly.
“Oh my god, Lix,” Seungmin bursts into the maintenance room five minutes later than the time they agreed to meet. Felix is already there, cross legged and sitting by the window. He’s wearing shorts and a big sweatshirt, and the wind is knocked from Seungmin’s lungs for a moment before he can continue.
“What?” Felix asks, scrunching his nose in that cute way of his.
“Sorry,” Seungmin shakes his head, blinking a few times. “I got distracted because you look so pretty.” He sits down across from Felix, their knees touching. Their hands tangle immediately, like it’s second nature. They’ve been doing it a lot, ever since the night they met up at the cafe a week ago. Seungmin floods with warmth every time. “I was going to say, I walked in on Chan and Changbin banging earlier, and guess what the fuck they told me.”
Felix brightens up, leaning in like he’s hungry for it. “Oh my god, what?!”
“Changbin said that they’re not fucking, they’re, in love.”
“Oh my god!” Felix gasps, fingers squeezing even tighter. “He did not!”
“He did!”
“That’s so gay. They’re so cute,” Felix coos, falling into a soft, dreamy smile. “Don’t you want to feel that, Minnie?”
Seungmin swallows. “Love?” his voice comes tight, a bit strained.
“Mhm.”
“Yeah, I think it would be nice,” Seungmin falls to a whisper. He and Felix feel closer than before, leaned in a bit.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Felix matches his tone, lashes fluttering prettily. He’s mesmerizing. “I think— I think I need a nice guy. I’m swearing off frat boys. I know what I need now. You know?”
Seungmin’s world comes to a stop all at once. He straightens his back, blinks over and over, because his eyes feel dry and stingy. He clears his throat, tries not to sound too disappointed. “Sure, I know.”
And he does. There’s plenty of people with the same mindset, the same idea. Seungmin understands, really. But Felix is smiling up at him, looking so beautiful in the soft light of the lamp, and his eyes shine like stars, and Seungmin thought it was different.
It’s okay.
He still holds Felix’s hand, and he lets Felix lay his head on his shoulder, and at the end of the night he hugs Felix when he goes.
Chan catches him in the hallway, leaving the maintenance room after Felix has gone.
“Hey, bro, you alright?”
“I’m fine,” Seungmin lies. He trudges the rest of the way down the hall and closes himself in his room, flopping onto the bed.
No frat boys. But Felix still held his hand, and he told him he looks cute. Maybe Felix just wants to hook up.
Seungmin might be able to do that. Maybe. If he can get himself in check.
The worst part of it all is that being a member of the frat is the thing that Seungmin cares least about his personality. He never talks about it, he never wears his letters, or anything else. He’s here, and that’s enough, apparently.
Seungmin doesn’t kiss on the first date, and he doesn’t put out until the third, but he thinks he’d be willing to shuck his own rules if it meant that he could have Felix, in any way he can.
⋆
Seungmin has been busy all week. It’s nearing finals, and everything’s becoming more serious. Felix understands, it’s just that he misses him.
He thought that he had made himself pretty clear with what he wants. That he wants more. But Seungmin got kind of nervous, and even though he was still present, he was stiffer than usual.
But Felix is hoping tonight will be different. Because he asked Seungmin to meet him in their normal spot, and Seungmin said okay.
Felix makes himself pretty. Well, not what he would used to call pretty, but he puts on mascara, and he wears soft clothes and tiny shorts that show off his legs, because whenever he does Seungmin stares. He makes sure to keep his face bare, because Seungmin told him once that he loves his freckles, that they’re, “Like a smattering of stars.”
Like, who says that? Felix is pretty sure Seungmin is perfect.
And Felix shows up early, because he’s bouncing with excited nerves, and he stands in the little room he and Seungmin have claimed as their own and he waits.
Seungmin comes right on time, just like he always does. He’s wearing sweats, a faded old t-shirt, and Felix thinks he’s the most beautiful man in the whole wide world.
“Hi, Minnie,” he breathes, stepping up to him, linking their hands. Seungmin lets him, and they’re nearly chest to chest.
“Hi, Lixie,” he returns. He looks so soft, with his fluffy hair and sloping lips.
Felix wants to kiss him so bad, so he just asks. “Can I kiss you?”
Seungmin blinks like he does when he’s nervous, his lips parting with a soft breath. “Yes.”
The last step forward feels like an eternity. Any second that Felix isn’t kissing Seungmin feels like an eternity. He drops Seungmin’s hands in favor of hooking them around his neck, and Seungmin’s hands fit against his hips like they were made to be there.
Felix leans up, and Seungmin leans down, and then Felix’s world explodes into stars. Galaxies and universes and heat and fire. Seungmin kisses like he moves through the world, gentle and kind, with painstaking care and precision.
A tiny gasp falls from Felix’s lips when Seungmin pulls him closer, angles his head to kiss him deeper. Felix is sure he’s reaching cloud nine, because kissing has never felt like this.
Seungmin is warm, their tongues slide together, he lets his teeth catch Felix’s lip until he moans. Felix can’t help himself but arch into Seungmin further, to let out another needy noise when Seungmin’s fingers drift down to the curve of his ass.
Felix doesn’t kiss on the first date, but he puts out on the third, and it feels like he and Seungmin have been moving together for an eternity, waiting for the the spark to explode to a flame.
And wow, has it exploded.
“Minnie,” Felix murmurs against his lips. “Take me to a bed.”
Seungmin pulls back, searching Felix’s face for only a moment before he finds his hand again. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. Please.”
Felix giggles when Seungmin leads him out of the room. Straight down the hall, like he knows where he’s going. Felix doesn’t care, as long as he’s losing his clothes very soon.
The door is locked behind them. Felix barely has a second to look around, but the room is shockingly clean for being in a frat house. Everything is orderly, there’s Star Wars posters on the wall.
And Seungmin is kissing him again, hot and heady, and they’re taking big steps towards the bed, never separating.
Felix pushes Seungmin down by the shoulders, until he’s sitting on the bed, and then again, until he’s laying. Felix can’t help but grin as he peels off his own sweater, hooking his legs over Seungmin’s hips, bending down to devour him.
Seungmin’s fingers meet bare skin, drift up Felix’s chest. Felix shivers when he skims over his nipples.
Sucking Seungmin’s tongue into his mouth, Felix works his hands up the front of Seungmin’s shirt, meeting his soft stomach. He whines at the feeling, letting up on his mouth just to pull off Seungmin’s shirt.
Breathless, he stares. Seungmin’s cheeks are red as Felix admires him. He’s broad at the shoulders, lithe and beautiful. His tummy is soft, and Felix wants to sink in his teeth.
“You’re so beautiful, Min,” Felix praises, taking Seungmin’s face in his hands. Seungmin kisses him like they’re running out of time.
Felix swivels his hips, grinding down against Seungmin’s crotch. Seungmin lets out an untamed moan, his first of the night, his hips kicking up like he can’t help it. Felix smiles into the kiss, fingers fumbling with Seungmin’s pants between them.
Just as he gets his fingers below the waistband, Seungmin blurts a frantic, “Wait!”
Felix pulls back immediately, hands hovering in the air. “What is it? Are you okay?” His head is spinning, confused.
“I— just— I don’t think I can do this—“ Seungmin stutters, chest heaving.
“Oh,” Felix can feel his face fall. He wishes it wouldn’t. It could be any number of things, the last thing he’d want is for Seungmin to feel bad for wanting to slow down. He scooches away, grabbing his sweater and holding it sadly over his chest. “Did I—uhm— did I do something wrong? If we’re moving too fast we can chill, I didn’t mean to push you, oh god. I hope you didn’t feel pressured to do anything, I—“
Seungmin shakes his head, sitting up, arms supporting himself. “No,” he butts in. “It’s just— that— I really like you, Felix.” He refuses to meet Felix’s eyes.
Felix’s heartbeat stutters. He feels his face shift from concerned to confused. “I really like you too.”
“But — I—“ Seungmin takes a pause, a breath. “You said you can’t date frat boys anymore, and if I do this I want it to mean something real, because I won’t be able to handle it if it doesn’t.”
Felix’s brow crinkles. “Frat— oh.” The warmth of shame washes over his body all at once. Hot and rude. He looks around again, at the room they’re in. The windbreaker hanging on the door, the stack of math textbooks in the corner. “Oh my god, is this your room?”
Now it’s Seungmin’s turn to look confused. “Yes? I wouldn’t take you to someone else’s.”
“Shit,” Felix curses himself. He should have known from all the Star Wars posters. Really. “Seungminnie,” Felix gets closer again, laying a hand on Seungmin’s cheek. Seungmin’s big brown eyes are trained on him. “I’m really stupid. I said that because I thought it would impress you. I thought you’d know it meant I wanted a nice guy like you.”
Seungmin’s lips fall open, then closed, then open again. Like he’s rebooting. “But— I am a frat guy.”
“And I had no idea,” Felix admits, cheeks burning. “My stereotypes got in the way. I’m such an idiot.”
“Why else would I be here every weekend?” Seungmin splutters helplessly.
Felix lets the gates open, spilling his guts. “I don’t know! I’m stupid and silly! I’m just so crazy about you, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get you to like me back. I’m really sorry, Min.”
Seungmin’s tongue pokes out, running along his bottom lip. His brows are pinched together in the middle, he speaks softly, “You don’t have to do anything, Lix. I liked you since the moment I saw you.”
Moving closer still, Felix looks down for a moment. When he looks back up, Seungmin is there, and he can see it in his eyes; everything is okay again. Kim Seungmin likes him, and he likes Kim Seungmin back.
“Can I kiss you again?”
He doesn’t get an answer, because Seungmin kisses him first. Seungmin’s hands curl around Felix’s waist, pulling him closer, closer, closer, until Felix is in his lap and they’re melded enough to be mistaken as one.
“Be my boyfriend, Seungmin,” Felix begs into his mouth, hands fisting into Seungmin’s hair.
“Of course,” Seungmin sighs, his lips curving up. Felix can feel his smile through soft, wonderful kisses. “Of course I will. I can’t believe this is real.”
“Why not?” Felix giggles, thumbs stroking across Seungmin’s cheeks.
“Because you’re you, and I’m me,” Seungmin says, like it’s the simplest thing to understand.
“Minnie,” Felix pulls back enough to look Seungmin in the eye, face framed in his hands. “You’re perfect for me. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Needed.”
“I like you so much, Felix. You’re perfect. You’re fucking everything.” Seungmin drags him in, licking into his mouth, earning a whine.
It would be silly to say he’s in love, but somehow, Felix feels like he’s already on his way.
Seungmin’s hips jerk up again, this time with more purpose.
“Can I fuck you?” Felix gasps, bearing down on his lap.
“God, yes,” Seungmin laughs breathily. “Oh my god, please.”
“Needy baby,” Felix giggles back, letting his hands trail down Seungmin’s chest, rolling his nipples under his fingers. Seungmin whimpers with his full chest, and Felix knows that he’s found the one.
“My god, I’m sorry, I’m usually not so loud,” Seungmin blushes furiously.
Felix slides off his lap, shoving Seungmin down to the mattress, making quick work of his pants, taking down his underwear at the same time. Seungmin whines again, knees squeezing together in embarrassment.
“Never say sorry for that, baby,” Felix’s eyes rove across Seungmin’s skin. His soft skin, softer curves, the way his cock is already hard and leaking, flushed and pink. His thighs are so smooth, Felix wants to worship them, make them his to keep. “You’re so beautiful. I want to hear every single noise. Wanna know exactly how I make you feel.”
“Oh my god,” Seungmin groans when Felix’s hand wraps around his cock, his head falling back against pillows. “I’m going to fucking die.”
“Baby,” Felix is so unbelievably fond of him. He leans in to kiss down the expanse of his throat. “Where’s your lube?”
Seungmin can’t form words, his teeth clenched as Felix languidly strokes him, thumb swiping over the head of his dick to collect the mess he’s made. He points to the side table, hand already shaking.
Felix reaches over, digging around until he finds what he needs. Lube, a condom.
As far as Felix is concerned, Seungmin is someone that deserves the utmost care. He takes his time working him open, leaving dark marks on Seungmin’s stomach, his thighs, as he takes him apart. Seungmin makes the prettiest noises as he’s being filled, sweet and whiny, Felix wants to eat him whole.
Seungmin’s legs are shaking by the time he’s ready. His eyes are round and wet, and his lips haven’t been able to shut since Felix had added a third. He’s practically begging, “I’m ready, Lix, baby, please— please—“
“Ok,” Felix agrees, tearing open the condom with his teeth as he shimmies out of his pants. Seungmin’s throat bobs, eyes trained on where Felix rolls the thing onto himself.
“You’re perfect,” he says, Felix stepping back between his legs. “I can’t believe you’re real.”
Felix bends down, kisses him long and sweet. “The feeling is mutual, Seungminnie.”
He drags a hand down Seungmin’s chest, the other lining his cock up. Seungmin begs some more as Felix teases him a bit by prodding at his entrance.
Felix can’t help it, Seungmin is just so delicious. There’s a sharp intake of breath when Felix pushes in for real.
So tight, hot, Seungmin sucks him in like he’s greedy for it, like his body knows that neither of them can wait.
“So good. You feel so fucking good, Seungmin, hah!”
“Fuck me,” Seungmin’s arms reach for him, pulling him closer, fingers tight, hopefully bruising. “Fuck me, please— ahhhh, Lix!” Seungmin’s words melt into a cry as Felix nails him with the first thrust.
Their breaths mingle, eyes locked as Felix slams into him, fast and steady. Seungmin whimpers, his eyelids flutter, but he keeps their eye contact the entire time.
Eons more intimate than anything Felix could have imagined. He sees lifetimes in Seungmin’s eyes, lays them down with soft pecks to his soft bottom lip.
Felix’s hand snakes between them, fisting Seungmin’s cock, moving in time with his hips. The change renders Seungmin a moaning, whimpering mess, keening into the touch, tears welling in his eyes.
“So pretty, Seungminnie, my baby,” Felix grunts, nearing his peak embarrassingly fast.
“Yours,” Seungmin manages, the first tear slipping from his eye.
“Mine,” Felix agrees, dazed, kissing the tears from his cheeks. “All mine. My perfect boy. You can let go, baby.”
The words work like magic, Seungmin’s body tensing and jerking, a sob of Felix’s name ringing out as he cums. The added pressure of Seungmin clenching around him throws Felix over the edge without warning, his vision blacking out as his thrusts stutter and slow. He spills into the condom, seeing stars.
Hips rocking forward, working through the aftershocks of his orgasm, Felix lifts his hand to his mouth, licking it clean of Seungmin’s mess.
Seungmin moans, throwing an arm over his eyes. “What the fuck, oh my god. You’re unreal. I’m going to get hard again if you keep it up.”
Felix smirks, leaning forward to capture Seungmin in a kiss. He lets the last drops of Seungmin on his tongue transfer between them, Seungmin moaning again, more helplessly.
“You taste good,” Felix grins, dropping a kiss on Seungmin’s nose.
“Stop, I’m serious, I’ll get hard again—“ Seungmin whines when Felix pulls out, clenching around nothing.
Felix watches in rapt interest. Everything about Seungmin is pretty, even this. Even the way he closes his knees, embarrassed, cheeks reddening. Felix smiles, tying off the condom and tossing it, moving to clean Seungmin up.
“There are far worse things, Seungminnie,” Felix teases, climbing back into bed to kiss Seungmin silly.
⋆
Lee Felix is Seungmin’s boyfriend.
He still can’t believe it. Even as Felix is wrapped around him, their legs tangled together, his head pillowed on Seungmin’s chest.
Lee Felix is his boyfriend, and he just fucked the life out of Seungmin and then giggled and kissed him until they were both too sleepy to continue. But this is more than enough. If Felix is at his side, Seungmin is sure everything will turn out alright.
Lee Felix is an angel, and Seungmin has been chosen. Who is he to mess with the will of fate?
“Minnie?” Felix murmurs, turning to lay his chin on Seungmin’s chest, looking up at him with sparkly, pretty eyes.
“Hm?” Seungmin doesn’t stop petting his hair.
“You said you liked me since you saw me. When did you first see me?”
Seungmin should have been prepared for this. He also should be better at taming himself, but no matter how much time they spend together, he still feels himself blushing when Felix is being sweet on him.
“Uh—“ Seungmin laughs anxiously. “Freshman orientation?”
Felix blinks once, and then his brows lift high. “Oh my god.”
“I know,” Seungmin whines, covering his face with his hands. “It’s so embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing,” Felix coos, prying Seungmin’s hands from his face, crawling up until he’s within kissing distance. “It’s cute. You’re so cute.”
Seungmin whines as Felix kisses him, but it doesn’t last long. He melts, because Felix has magic hands and he’s slipping him tongue.
Kim Seungmin is going to tongue Lee Felix forever. He’s made up his mind.
♡
Seungmin pushes through the crowd. Sweaty bodies on the dance floor, too many people in his house, his head throbs with the bass.
He rolls his eyes when Chan and Changbin run into him, in the middle of some sort of homoerotic faux wrestling match.
It’s the first party of spring semester, a very big deal, apparently. Seungmin doesn't care.
Just as he’s about to be home free, he hears something that makes him hang back, hovering around the corner, straining his ears.
“Did you hear, Lee Felix is dating one of the guys that lives here. Apparently he’s here more than he’s at his own dorm.”
Seungmin snorts, taking off up the stairs.
He shoves open his door with his hip, bottle of whiskey clenched in one hand, a fancy box of chocolate he swiped from Chan’s secret pantry stash in the other. Felix shoots up from where he’s slumped over on the bed, laptop open on his stomach, idling with the movie they’ve picked out.
“Yay!” Felix cheers, taking the chocolates off his hands, stealing a kiss. “My hero!”
Seungmin hums into Felix’s lips, going back for more. Felix is addicting like that. “You know,” he says, climbing back into bed. “I heard some gossip downstairs.”
Felix gasps, licking his lips and leaning forward, like he does when he’s fiending for the stuff. “Really?!”
“They say Lee Felix is dating someone that lives here. Have anything to say about that? Fact or fiction?”
“Fact,” Felix nods, smirk growing. “But they got one thing wrong.”
“Oh?” Seungmin brushes a lock of hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear. It’s newly pink, dyed the other morning in the frathouse bathtub.
“They don’t know the whole story.”
“What’s the full story?”
“That Lee Felix is in love with his frat bro boyfriend. He’s not just dating him, he’s in love.”
Seungmin knew it was coming. All the signs were there.
Felix had been staring at him lately, looking like he has something to say. Every time they have sex it feels like something more. And, of course, there’s the fact that Seungmin was also waiting for the right time to tell Felix just the same thing.
“I love you too.”