Chapter Text
Blinking softly, Toji stared up at the faded paint patterns on the ceiling, his eyes tracing the faint cracks that had formed over time. He let out a quiet sigh, his breath coming in a warm, steady rush as he felt like all he could do was radiate heat.
The night outside was painted in shades of deep blue and silver, with a biting chill in the air that promised a fresh blanket of snow before morning. Despite the frosty temperature beyond the walls, Toji struggled to keep cool and appreciate the comforting warmth inside.
One leg dangled off the edge of the mattress, the cooler air of the room nipping at his exposed skin. His sweats were too much to keep wearing so he opted for his boxers, Satoru didn’t mind the change.
Gradually being pushed out of the shared bed, the gentle snores of his boyfriend created a soothing rhythm beside him.
Nestled against his left side, Satoru slept soundly. His breath, faintly scented with a cool, minty freshness, whispered against Toji's neck, sending a slight shiver down his spine. Despite Satoru's lanky frame, his limbs draped over Toji with a heavy, lax warmth, like a comforting blanket.
The weight of his embrace was both soothing and constraining, making it challenging for Toji to find a comfortable position for sleep.
Toji sighed once more, his breath a warm, resigned exhale that rustled the white strands of hair near him. He shifted slightly, leaning in to press a tender kiss to the top of Satoru's head. The soft locks tickled his lips, and he lingered for a moment, inhaling the faint, familiar scent of his boyfriend's shampoo.
As Toji pulled away, he could swear he saw a faint smile playing at the corners of Satoru's mouth, as if his dreams were painted with the same affection that filled their waking moments.
He moved slowly, deliberately, to avoid disturbing his partner's peaceful slumber, the moonlight casting a soft, silver glow on their entwined limbs as they reluctantly parted.
As he finally slipped out of the bed, the cool air of the room greeted him, a stark contrast to the warmth of their shared haven. The floorboards creaked softly beneath his feet, the room giving voice to his quiet turmoil.
Toji's eyes gradually adjusted to the dim moonlight filtering through the partially open curtains, casting long, dancing shadows across the room. He rubbed the remnants of sleep from his eyes and blinked, his gaze drawn to the bed that dominated the space.
As his vision focused, a wave of disappointment washed over him, and he couldn't help but clutch his forehead in mild exasperation.
There, in the center of the mattress, lay Megumi, wrapped in the thick blanket that had been stolen from Toji's side of the bed. He looked utterly content, his body relaxed and his face softened in peaceful slumber.
What truly grated on Toji's nerves, however, was the sight of Kuro and Shiro nestled comfortably beside Megumi. With their small, furry bodies pressed against his friend, they had clearly claimed the majority of the bed for themselves.
He couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief, his eyes tracing the tangled web of limbs and fur that had taken over his sleeping space.
It was no wonder that Satoru had sought refuge in Toji's personal bubble, their shared sanctuary invaded by small puppies.
The room was quiet save for the gentle hum of the night, the soft whispers of the wind outside, and the occasional snores. Toji took a deep breath, the cool air filling his lungs as he contemplated his options.
He quietly exited the room, slipping on his warm robe that was recently gifted to him.
Christmas was just last Saturday, and it wasn’t too eventful like the other years before. Satoru seemed to be hurt when they acted like it was any other day. Of course he had presents to give, just because he believed it was the right thing to do.
A new robe and slippers for Toji and Advanced Literature for little Megumi. Perfect gifts said no one when they opened it up. Toji did share his love by wearing it immediately but Megumi just seemed confused.
The kitchen was bathed in a soft, ethereal glow, the moonlight filtering through the thin curtains and casting a silver sheen on the counters and the tiled floor. Toji quietly walked, avoiding any leftover toys on the ground.
He approached the miscellaneous drawers in the corner of the kitchen, and with a gentle tug, he opened the second to last drawer. The drawer opened with a soft creak, revealing a cluttered collection of items that had been tossed inside. Toji's fingers deftly moved aside a forgotten pack of birthday candles, a tangled mess of rubber bands, and an assortment of takeout menus.
His hand lingered briefly on a small, smooth stone, confused where it came from but chalked it up to Megumi, before finally finding the thick envelope hidden beneath the mess.
With a flick of his wrist, he turned on a small light, its dim, warm glow just bright enough to illuminate the counter. The last thing he wanted was to wake the others.
Toji's weary eyes scanned the documents he had spread out before him, the words swimming slightly in his fatigued vision. The bold, black letters at the top of the page seemed to stare back at him.
Application for Toll Booth Operator - Part Time Position. The rest of the form was filled with an array of questions, blank lines, and check boxes, all awaiting his careful and honest responses. His fingers traced the edges of the paper, the texture rough and real beneath his touch.
There was basic information he had written down before, however he couldn’t finish it. The page blank once it reached the portion of availability.
He rested his chin on his hand, leaning on the counter, just staring at the paper. In his mind, he wished that it would fill itself and everything would be fine. His movements stilled then a breathy sigh escaped his lips.
The first drawer opened, beneath cheap chopsticks and half used batteries, was an uncapped pen.
As he began to fill out the application, the quiet scratching of his pen against the paper was the only sound that accompanied his thoughts, a steady, determined rhythm that echoed his resolve.
“A new apartment, one where Megumi can play outside with the dogs, one where he can have his own bed and room. First paycheck, a nice present for Satoru…”
The house around him was silent, save for the gentle hum of the refrigerator and the distant, comforting snores of his loved ones.
Wednesday, the 29th
9:13 a.m
His nose was so frozen that he believed it would fall off. Satoru sniffled the icicles hanging off his nostrils, he made a disgusted face and groaned.
“You’re not getting sick right? It would be great if you did.”
Shoko’s voice poured from the phone, and with a hearty laugh, Satoru wore a grin on his freezing face. “Now now, you can’t be nasty while it’s still the holidays. That puts you immediately on Santa’s naughty list.”
The thick coat that ran down to his knees was wrapped up with the twin leashes, and he sighed as he wrangled the excited pups away.
Standing by a naked tree, Satoru ushered the dogs to do their business instead of tying him up. His grip on the leash tightened when they tugged away, trying to follow the children playing in the snow nearby.
Their laughter rang loud and echoed in the white landscape that was the small streets of the neighborhood. The children wore protective clothing in the chilly morning, thick warm gloves and boots so they could enjoy the fresh snow.
While he would rather stay inside and bundle up with his heater of a boyfriend, he was reminded that it was his turn to take the puppies outside. They had whined and howled all through breakfast time, Satoru could barely enjoy his bowl of miso soup.
With his phone pressed against his ear, he wished that the two would hurry up and stop sniffing each other.
“Santa’s not real, you’re the closest thing to one. Always eating cookies and handing out gifts. White hair too, maybe you should grow out a beard.”
That garnered a weak chuckle from his chapped lips, “I’ll let you know when I find a single hair on my chin.” Satoru tilted his head back, allowing his dark sunglasses to fall back in their normal spot. He hated how bright it got with all the snow, it was too blinding for him to deal with.
He sighed, his warm breath visible in the cold air. “So, how was Christmas for you? You get anything nice?” Shoko calmly asked, and it was evident that she was focused on something else. He could tell from her tone.
Pressing the phone between his shoulder and ear, Satoru lifted his bare hand close to his mouth, blowing any hot air to warm it up. His fingers ached from the low temperature.
“I got the best thing ever for Christmas, some time with my cutie patootie Megumi and lots of love from Toji.” He chirped into the phone.
There was a pause and Shoko chuckled, “Really? I feel like they would’ve got you at least one thing.” Satoru made a weak noise, “I don’t need anything from them. They’re all I want.” He blinked, looking at the rambunctious dogs.
It appeared that they finally figured out why they were outside, now relieving themselves against the tree. He rolled his eyes and decided to look up, checking out the clouds. Weather called for light rain, best to wash away the piling up snow.
“You sound like you’re lying, don’t be shy, tell me.” Pursing his lips, Satoru's breath misted in the crisp winter air as he shuffled his feet, lightly kicking the freshly fallen snow.
There was something Satoru wanted, something he had been thinking about for days. He knew it was influenced by the cheesy holiday movie they had watched together, curled up on the couch under a thick blanket.
A cheesy holiday movie, filled with clichés, the city girl finding love in the lonely country boy, the magical small town, the heartwarming community spirit. What had really stuck with Satoru was the moment when the two main characters finally kissed under the mistletoe.
As they watched the scene, Satoru's eyes lingered on Toji's lips, his way of silently begging for something similar. But Toji, oblivious to Satoru's longing, had simply reached over and pulled him closer, tucking Satoru's head under his chin.
It was a sweet, comforting gesture, but it wasn't what Satoru wanted.
He just kicked at the snow again, his cheeks flushing with a mix of cold and embarrassment, “Nothing, really.”
Friday, the 31st
8:21 a.m
With a soft thud, the refrigerator door swung shut, and Toji emerged from the kitchen, his arms with two cold bottles of water. He walked over to the small dining table, the wooden floor creaking gently under his feet, and set the bottles down.
"Hey, you're still pouting?" Toji asked quietly. He turned to look at Satoru, who was sulking on the couch. Satoru had burrowed himself into one of Toji's oversized hoodies. The hood was pulled up, the drawstrings tightened so that only the tip of Satoru's nose and his slightly puckered lips were visible, a clear sign of his discontent.
He sighed softly. "You should help out at least.” His tone gentle but firm. Exiting the bathroom, Megumi walked by the couch but was quickly scooped up by Satoru, hugging him snuggly. “Come on Satoru.” Toji waited patiently, he saw how his son wiggled but wasn’t let go.
Megumi sighed, he accepted his fate and loosened up in Satoru’s hold. He reluctantly returned the affection, sensing that he needed it.
“Just say yes, it won’t be crazy.” Satoru muttered, it was a bit muffled but still audible. Toji rolled his eyes, “I’m not doing that, now come on, we need to beat the traffic.” Stepping closer, Satoru didn’t fight back when Megumi was pulled away.
Knowing his place, Megumi kept quiet and just retrieved his coloring book that he meant to grab earlier.
It was silent, aside the faint sound of the neighbor’s television next door and the weary puppies laying down on their soft beds. The mood shifted as Satoru reluctantly got up, he wore a pout and huffed dramatically when he retreated into the bedroom.
“Daddy, why is he mad?” Megumi calmly asked, he tried his best to pack his backpack with the essentials such as his small box of crayons.
Toji paused mid-motion, a slight sigh escaping his lips as he turned to face his son. He waved his hand gently, dismissing Megumi's concern. Satoru's mood was more complex, more layered than mere anger. It was a storm of frustration, pride, and something else.
There was a term for it, one that Shoko had often used. It was a word that now seemed to perfectly encapsulate Satoru's behavior. Satoru Gojo, with all his brilliance and charm, was a brat .
Shoko's warnings had been almost prophetic, a cautionary tale that Toji now understood all too well.
Admitting that he had a part in Satoru’s tantrum, Toji could simply roll his eyes, his hands occupied with cleaning up the living room. He would hate to leave the place a mess, not wanting Shiu to mention it when he arrived to watch the dogs for the day.
An exasperated sigh escaped his lips, he mindlessly tossed any toys back into their baskets, tucking loose books to align with the others on the shelves.
It was a simple request, at least, Satoru believed it was.
After the quiet, somewhat lackluster Christmas they had shared, he was eager to spread joy and create new memories together. With his spirits high and a heart full of love, Satoru had what he thought was a wonderful idea: a party to celebrate both Toji's birthday and New Year’s Eve, which conveniently fell on the same day.
“Shoko said she can get us drinks! Nothing crazy, just a small taste. We can stay up late, and Megumi can join us! Ooh! We could even hold it at one of my family's homes. That way, there's plenty of space for everyone to crash afterward. What flavor of cake would you like?
His eyes twinkled with excitement, it was sweet however Toji knew what to say immediately. "None," he replied softly, his eyes drifting back down to the book that lay open in his lap. He carefully turned the pages, searching for the spot where he had left off.
Satoru's smile flickered, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet. He let out a weak chuckle and gave Toji a gentle nudge. "Toji, come on, it's your birthday. Let's do something special—" His voice trailed off as he reached out to touch Toji's arm.
But Toji didn't look up. His gaze remained fixed on the pages of his book, his expression inscrutable. Satoru's touch, meant to be loving and persuasive, felt like a rejection as Toji remained unmoved. "I don't want a party, Satoru," Toji said, his voice quiet but firm. "Honestly, don't think too much about it.
The room fell silent, save for the soft rustle of pages as Toji resumed his reading. Satoru's excitement deflated like a punctured balloon, his shoulders slumping slightly as he withdrew his hand.
A soft, plaintive whine filled the air, pulling Toji's attention away from his book despite his best efforts to remain focused. He knew Satoru was being dramatic, that he was fishing for a specific reaction, but the guilt gnawed at him nonetheless.
"Satoru, I just... I don't want to deal with people," Toji explained. "You don't like staying up late either. Wouldn't it be better if we both got a good night's sleep instead?"
Glistened with unshed tears, and though Toji knew they were mostly for show, the hurt that trembled in Satoru’s voice was genuine. "You just don't want to stay up with me," Satoru accused, his pretty, glossy pink lips forming a delicate pout. "You hate me and my love.”
Toji watched as Satoru stomped off, his movements exaggerated and dramatic, a whirlwind of emotion trailing in his wake. He knew that pursuing the matter would only escalate their situation. So, with a resigned sigh, Toji let the matter drop.
Despite being in a pouty mood, Satoru didn’t whine or complain as they finished getting ready to head off to Chiba. He double-checked the directions, his brow furrowed in concentration as he traced the route with a slender finger, committing the path to memory. Toji found it cute even though there was no need for Satoru to do so.
His mood seemed to lighten up, Satoru knew that he didn’t want to appear too cold around Megumi so he did his best to crack a smile every now and then.
Once they locked the door behind, Toji carried the packed duffle bag on his shoulder and stopped when he spotted an unfamiliar new car in the parking lot. He had been expecting the sleek, black town car and the reassuring presence of their personal driver, but the car that greeted him was something else entirely.
Before he could open his mouth and ask, a set of keys sailed through the air, their metallic jingle cutting through the silence. He fumbled the catch, his hands clumsy with surprise as he juggled the keys, barely managing to keep them from falling to the snow-dusted ground.
"You can't be serious," Toji muttered, his gaze shifting from the keys in his hand to the car before him and then to Satoru, who stood a few paces away, a mischievous smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
His tongue stuck out, a little mischievous smile confirmed what he was thinking about. “My mom bought me an exotic car but my dad exchanged it for something more suitable for us.” Satoru approached the light blue suv, his gloved hand giving the hood a gentle, almost affectionate pat. “It has seat warmers.”
Megumi was helped into the car while Toji loaded up the bag in the spacious trunk. He quietly checked on the two, and his gaze was met with Satoru’s, his dark sunglasses low on his nose. The seatbelt clinked once Megumi was fully buckled in, and Satoru shared a weak smile, “All set?”
Toji gave a nod of resignation and pushed the trunk closed with a solid thud. He made his way to the driver's side of the SUV, his boots crunching on the fresh, light layer of snow that coated the ground. As he opened the door and slid into the seat, a wave of warmth enveloped him. He let out a long, slow yawn, his body relaxing into the comfortable embrace of the driver's seat.
A small, tree-shaped car freshener dangled from the mirror, vanilla scented, all so sweet. Beside him, Satoru chuckled softly, "It's nice, right?" he asked, his voice with admiration.
Toji grunted in agreement, his hands already busy adjusting the mirrors to suit his needs. Once his reflection was centered in the mirror, he turned his attention to the back seat, where Megumi was tucked in.
Best for his safety, his puffy winter coat was shed off and Satoru placed a warm blanket on top of him. "Is it comfy back there, Megumi?" Toji asked, his voice gentle mixed with slight exhaustion. Megumi blinked up at him, "I guess so.” He had begged that they should’ve brought the dogs but was swiftly denied by the two.
Toji gave the boy a reassuring smile before turning his attention back to Satoru. He reached out, his hand resting on Satoru's thigh, giving it a gentle pat to draw his focus. "It's nice," Toji admitted, "Thank you." He gave Satoru's thigh a gentle squeeze, a silent gesture of gratitude and affection.
“Ew.” Megumi scrunched his face, he turned his gaze away, looking anywhere else was better.
The map crinkled as Satoru looked up, his eyebrows furrowing as he squinted at the street signs whipping past the window. “Are you supposed to be on this street?” His question hung in the air, unanswered, as Toji continued to drive, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Satoru let out a small huff of exasperation, his breath fogging up the cold glass of the passenger window.
“Toji-” Toji flicked on his turn signal, the steady tick-tock filling the cabin as he smoothly turned the car into the nearest lane.
"We don't need the map," Toji muttered, his voice low and steady as he kept his eyes on the road. "I know how to get there." Clutching the map, Satoru hummed, “Fine. Should we have lunch when we get there or after? I’m getting hungry.” To emphasize his point, he patted his stomach, which gave a soft, empty rumble in response.
From the back seat, Megumi stirred, his small body stretching as he let out a loud, dramatic yawn. Satoru's face lit up at the question, his body shifting excitedly in his seat as he turned to face the boy.
"You hungry, Megumi?" Satoru asked, his eyes sparkled with anticipation. Megumi nodded softly, his small hands rubbing his eyes as he woke fully from his nap. Satoru's smile widened, and he turned back to Toji. "Your son wants lunch too.” That garnered a chuckle from Toji, “Okay, we’ll eat first.”
It didn’t take for them to arrive at the cemetery. The cemetery loomed before them, a sprawling expanse of green dotted with gray headstones, their surfaces slick with a thin layer of melting snow. The parking lot was nearly deserted, save for a single, lonely vehicle parked off to one side.
Most people, it seemed, had chosen to stay indoors, to enjoy the warmth and comfort of their homes and the company of their loved ones on this cold, gray day.
The sky above was a canvas of gray, but not the heavy, oppressive clouds that promised storms and snow. Instead, it was a soft, gentle gray, the kind that seemed to enfold the world in a quiet embrace.
As they exited the car, Satoru stretched his long legs, a dramatic groan escaping his lips as he rubbed his backside with exaggerated discomfort. "Ugh, my butt is numb.” He whined further when Toji exited the car.
“It was only an hour,” Toji responded, his voice dry and unimpressed as he made his way to the trunk of the SUV. He popped it open and began to rummage through their belongings, quickly finding their packed lunches.
The air was crisp and cool, the faint scent of damp earth and distant pine trees filling their nostrils as they took in their surroundings. The cemetery was quiet, the only sounds the distant call of a lone bird and the soft rustle of the wind through the bare branches of the trees. Despite the somber nature of their destination, there was a sense of peace and tranquility that hung in the air, a quiet, reverent hush that seemed to envelop them all.
“Why don’t you show Satoru where the bench is? I’ll bring our lunches so we can all eat together.” Toji softly explained to Megumi, his arms unbuckling the seat belt and carefully assisting him down from the vehicle, his small, booted feet crunching onto the gravel parking lot. Once settled down on the ground, Megumi nodded and approached Satoru, holding out his hand.
Satoru looked down at the little boy, a soft smile playing on his lips as he took Megumi's hand in his own. The contrast between their sizes was stark, Satoru's long, elegant fingers wrapping gently around Megumi's tiny, mittened hand. The little boy sniffled softly, his nose reddening slightly from the cold air as he began to lead him along the winding path that cut through the cemetery.
A small, affectionate smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he observed the tender interaction between his son and his boyfriend. Once they had gone a short distance, he turned his attention back to the task at hand, his eyes scanning the remaining items in the trunk, ensuring that nothing was left behind.
Slipping the backpack over his shoulders, Toji carefully balanced the hefty bag containing their lunches in his arms. He stepped away from the car, his boots sinking slightly into the soft, damp earth as he made his way into the midsize cemetery.
The rows of graves stretched out before him, their weathered headstones standing like silent sentinels, guarding the memories of the departed.
As he walked, Toji's eyes traced the familiar path, the route he had memorized over countless visits. The headstones he passed were nearly bare, only a light dusting of snow clinging to their worn surfaces. It was evident that the graves were routinely checked on, the grounds meticulously maintained despite the harsh winter weather.
He turned to the right, his feet carrying him towards the furthest corner of the cemetery. His shoes crunched on the scattered gravel and small rocks that lined the path, the sound a steady, rhythmic accompaniment to his journey.
As he walked, a soft, almost imperceptible scent caught his attention. His adept nose picked up the faint whiff of incense, the fragrant smell wafting gently through the cool air.
Toji glanced in the direction of the scent, his eyes immediately drawn to a figure hunched over a nearby grave. The stranger was meticulously lighting an incense stick, their movements slow and deliberate, a silent testament to their reverence and care. Toji's gaze lingered on the scene, taking in the pristine condition of the grave. The headstone was polished and well-kept, the plot surrounding it neat and tidy, as if it had been recently placed
"Over here!" Satoru's voice called out, the sound almost inappropriately loud in the hushed, solemn atmosphere of the cemetery. The stranger looked up briefly at the noise but made no expression of disapproval, instead returning to their peaceful solitude, their focus once again on the grave before them.
Toji approached Satoru, his footsteps slowing as he took in the sight of his boyfriend and Megumi standing together, their breaths misting in the cool air. As he reached them, he immediately handed over the bags he had been carrying, his voice low but tinged with a playful tone. "Should you be shouting in a place like this?"
Accepting the packed bags, Satoru stuck out his tongue, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he winked playfully at Toji. "Sowwy," he replied.
He pointed towards the far corner of the cemetery, where a pair of weathered wooden benches sat beneath the sprawling branches of an ancient, gnarled tree. "We can eat there," Toji instructed, his voice soft yet carrying a note of authority. "Make sure you put down the blanket first." He opened the stuffed bag and pulled out a long, thick blanket, the fabric worn soft by years of use and countless washings.
Satoru took the blanket from Toji, his long fingers deftly shaking it out before draping it carefully over the frozen seats. He smoothed out the wrinkles with a gentle touch, transforming the benches into a makeshift picnic area, a cozy oasis amidst the solemn surroundings.
Megumi stood before Toji, his small, gloved hands rubbing together nervously as he looked up at his father with wide, expectant eyes. "Daddy," he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, "Can I see her first?" His breath misted in the cool air, the tiny clouds dissipating quickly as he awaited his father's response.
Toji had just taken a sip of hot tea from his thermos, the steam rising from the open lid. He swallowed carefully, the liquid scalding his tongue and leaving a faint, bitter aftertaste.
He exhaled slowly, the hot sigh a stark contrast to the chilled air around them. "Sure, buddy," he replied, his voice gentle as he screwed the lid back onto the thermos. "We can go see her now, and then we'll come back and have our lunch."
He glanced over at Satoru, who was busy unpacking their lunches, the various containers and packages spread out on the blanket before him. Satoru looked up, his cheeks flushed from the cold and his eyes glazed with a hunger that was equal parts anticipation and impatience. "Come on," Toji said, extending a hand to Satoru. "I'll introduce you."
Satoru nodded, his chopsticks paused mid-air, a small mound of steaming rice perched precariously on their tips. "Okay," he agreed, his voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and eagerness.
Closing up the container, he swiftly put down his chopsticks and took Toji’s hand. Their fingers intertwined naturally as Satoru stood up. His hands were chilly, particularly his long, elegant fingers, but as they clasped Toji's, the shared warmth began to spread, heating their entwined hands during the brief walk to the grave.
The final resting place of their family was easy to find, just three spots down from the benches where they had shared their meal. Megumi led the way, his small feet crunching on the frozen grass, his breath misting in the cool air.
“You nervous?” Toji quietly whispered, his hand gave a small reassuring squeeze. Satoru fumbled with his words then stifled a chuckle, “Nervous? Nope, I don’t get nervous.” He knew that it was a lie as his heart beat faster, so he wore a little smile, remaining silent for now.
As they stopped in front of the family grave, Satoru took in the view. The plot was small but well-tended, with only a thin layer of mud, dark snow, and a smattering of leaves covering the ground. The name Fushiguro was carved deeply into the stone, the letters stark and clear against the gray granite.
Toji placed a gentle, reassuring hand on Megumi's shoulder. The boy stepped closer, his eyes fixed on the headstone, his small voice barely above a whisper. "Hi Mommy," he said softly.