Archive of Our Own ^beta

So maybe San’s little halloween party did not go off without a hitch. 

It wasn’t huge. Just a clip someone had taken on a phone that they somehow smuggled in, a selfie one of his employees took. Harmless, except one of the boys from Second Link was in the background, hand very clearly on the ass of some girl. They were just lucky her face wasn’t in the shot. 

So, that meant San was in meeting after meeting , dragging himself from one end of the city to the other to try and calm down every sponsor and investor that had seen the news and threatened to pull out of working with the band all together. And of course the poor boy was miserable, apologizing profusely on national television over and over and over and it was so hard for San to watch. His boys were so careful. They knew the backlash they’d receive, so their romantic lives were something even San knew next to nothing about. For some stupid photo from an employee to ruin their entire reputation when they were so careful-

He hated that he had to do this. Having to put this boy in front of everyone that was supposed to love him to apologize for something completely normal, not to mention the strain it put on his relationship with the girl. Though, he was tough, and when San had offered for him to just post a video or two about the situation, he refused, insisting that facing their fans in person to apologize would be better. 

He was right, of course, but it still was a miserable thing. San put the remainder of the group on a break so everyone could decompress, so really, the only thing San was doing was getting yelled at by every old motherfucker with a fat wallet. 

And he’d rather be the one to sit there and get reamed out. He didn’t need his boys getting any more stress added to their plates, especially when it really wasn’t deserved. They had a tour coming up, and album release, fansigns and fancalls that got canceled all because of some stupid -

“Sannah-”

“What?!” 

San smacked his laptop closed and Wooyoung was glancing at him over his shoulder, blinking a few times before looking back down at the breakfast he’d been cooking. He pushed some eggs around in the pan before speaking up.

“...nevermind, it’s not important.” Wooyoung kept his voice soft and San sighed, tugging his glasses off to send them skittering across the kitchen table. 

Wooyoung had gotten very used to San’s weekend work, it had been a thing for as long as they’d been partially living together- Partially , because Wooyoung still had his apartment, he just hadn’t gotten around to deciding what to do with it, and San hadn’t had the guts to ask him to permanently move in, so it was still there, just mostly bare of Wooyoung’s clothes, or any sign of life for the last few months. 

“ No , it’s-” San sighed, and rubbed his face, getting up from his seat. “It’s important, please, say what you were going to say.” San started to move over to him, but his phone started to buzz on the table and he sighed, glaring down at it. Wooyoung was aware of what was going on, he’d read the headlines and San had been so stressed out about the entire thing he’d come home in tears more than once and Wooyoung just wanted to help. He wished he’d step away from his work for a single second, but he also knew how important it was that he be available when Yunho needed him. 

He didn’t even want to see the state of Jeong Yunho’s apartment, right now. That man was doing gods, the devils, and every other bitch from the Bible"s work just to keep H.A.L.A. in the public eye"s good graces.

“You can answer that.” Wooyoung nodded to his phone and San didn’t like the tone he took. It wasn’t even a tone, it was just irritating for no good reason and San felt his last straw snap and disintegrate. 

“Look, I know you’re sick of me working all the time-”

“I just said you could answer your phone . That’s it.” Wooyoung eyed him and San rolled his eyes, turning to his laptop to push it back open and pick his phone up. 

“What now?” San plopped back into his chair and squinted at his laptop screen, glasses long gone across the table and he listened to Yunho relay a plethora of information he’d probably receive in an email within the hour. He could feel his head starting to hurt already, sifting through documents and emails and news articles and he felt a tap on his shoulder. He ignored it, brow knit together, trying to focus on whatever Yunho was saying to him and another tap- “What?” San snapped and pulled his phone away from his ear only to watch Wooyoung abandon a plate of food beside his laptop, then his glasses- an attempt to return them because Wooyoung knew he couldn’t see his screen well without them.

Before San could do or say anything else, Wooyoung had turned, swaying around the corner of the kitchen table to make his way toward the hall. San didn’t know when he’d finished cooking breakfast, didn’t know when he’d even had time to wash the dishes, because they were already drying next to the sink and Wooyoung’s own plate was stacked alongside them. He zoned out while he looked at them, then looked at Wooyoung again and watched him push the heel of his palm to his cheek, disappearing around the corner. 

“ Hey- Hey Yunho, I’ll be right back-” San put his phone down and knocked his chair back, sending it scraping a few inches so he could follow him, leaning to look down the hall before hurrying toward the only door that swayed closed. “Wooyoungah.” San sighed and waited in front of their bedroom door, listening to some rustling behind it before he pushed it open. 

He looked over the room when the door swung open, his own clothes a mess in his closet from the disarray he’d been in the past two weeks, the rest of the room fairly neat. Wooyoung was curled up by the head of the bed, knees tucked to his chest, scrolling on his phone but San saw the red under his eyes. He"d been crying. Fuck.

“Hey. I’m sorry , okay?” San kept his voice low but he knew he sounded annoyed the second he spoke, more like an apology out of necessity than one he actually meant, even if he did mean it. 

“S’fine. Can we go do something today?” Wooyoung looked up at him, eyes wet and San felt his heart break just a little. “Like, anything - We need groceries, we can do that -” He sounded strained and San felt his shoulders slump when he sighed. 

“I have like, four meetings today, I don’t think I’ll have time.” San watched Wooyoung nod and hide his face behind his fist, trying to play it off like he wasn’t upset but they both knew he was. “Look- I just have a lot, right now. I can’t always be available to just- do whatever.” San was rubbing his face again and Wooyoung felt a tiny ember of anger spark in his chest. 

“You’re never available, but whatever .” He muttered, thumb sliding wildly over his phone screen. He wasn’t even looking at anything. He was just trying not to look at San. 

“... what ?” San made a face and bent his head to look at him, brow raised. He looked like a disappointed parent and Wooyoung hid him from the corner of his vision. “Do I not do enough for you-”

“ You work every weekend, anyways . Even before this happened.” Wooyoung huffed, and San scoffed, and Wooyoung shrunk. “You’re never around, and it’s just getting worse . You don’t have time for anything but that stupid fucking computer-” He knew speaking up was making things worse, but he also knew he had to say something.

“I have a job with real obligations , that’s why I work every weekend. But you wouldn’t get that , would you?” San scoffed, and immediately he felt the acid on his tongue. A regret that tasted so vile he wanted to apologize just to keep the taste out of his mouth. He watched Wooyoung’s hand stop, then he plopped his phone onto the comforter and got up, maneuvering around the bed to move to the closet. San sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but Wooyoung plopped to the floor with a huff.

“Fuck you.”  

San stood there like he’d been struck, watching Wooyoung sit on the floor and sift through their clothes, very pointedly tossing San’s shirts and sweatpants away from him so he could jam his own clothes into a duffel. Maybe he was being dramatic. But it had been two weeks of San being short with him, doing next to nothing with him because he was so busy and Wooyoung understood that work comes first , but- He felt like a burden. By the time he’d gathered enough clothes, or had enough of sitting there being stared at, one of the two , he got up and moved to find a pair of shoes to pull on. 

“Youngah, just stop .” San sighed and moved toward him, but Wooyoung swerved around him to grab his phone. He needed to order an Uber quickly if he had any chance of making an exit without bursting into tears. “Hey- Look, I’m sorry . That’s not necessary.” San huffed, watching Wooyoung tear his phone cord out of the wall and make a break for the door. “Wooyoung! Stop it, please talk to me-”

“Why? So you can get a phone call halfway through and abandon the conversation?” Wooyoung glared back at him and his throat felt so hot . He"d never been so angry with San, before. He hardly knew what to do with himself, and San making a rude comment about his job like that was a trigger Wooyoung didn"t even know he had . He felt like he was right back in college, with his stupid mean boyfriend who kept telling him he needed a real job , that he shouldn’t whore himself out for money-

“Wooyoung.” San sighed at him and Wooyoung tried to avoid him. He was crying, great . He probably looked pathetic, now. San watched him move out toward the front door but followed him, trying to grab for his bag just to get him to talk. He knew if he could get him talking they’d be able to work it out, but-

“I’m going home - I won’t sit around here anymore just to be a punching bag for your bad moods .” Wooyoung hissed, yanking his bag strap and San stiffened. He’d felt like that? Like a punching bag ? Sure San was pissy, but-

“Wooyoung I’m sorry .” San breathed, anxious, throat tight and Wooyoung shouldered his way out the door, yanking his hood over his head to make his way out to the pickup spot in his app. He’d actually put in an address a few houses down, so he could just go and not have to wait around on the curb.  

“Let me know when you decide to stop being a dick .” Wooyoung scoffed, yanking on his hoodie strings while he huffed it away from the house, tears spilling over his cheeks as he let his face finally fall from some attempt at well put together to full on lip wobble, an ugly cry face he hated even thinking about. 

“Wooyoung, stop it! Just come back-” San was following him and Wooyoung regretted calling the Uber to the wrong house, because it drove right past him and he ended up breaking into a run, jogging the last few yards to finally catch up to the car and throw himself inside. 

Once the door closed, San stopped, fingernails digging into his palms and he watched the car pull off. 

“...fuck.” It wasn’t like he didn’t know where he’d be going… It wasn’t like Wooyoung had broken up with him, right? “Fuck.” San backtracked and moved back up his driveway, up the steps into his home. “Fucking- Of course.” San growled and slammed his door closed behind him, watching his cat scramble across the living room to go hide somewhere, presumably under their bed. 

His bed. San’s bed. Not their bed. 

“Fuck!” San’s eyes welled and he looked around, at the pair of Wooyoung’s shoes placed haphazardly beside San’s, at the plate of food he’d made him, still sitting untouched beside his laptop, the mug Wooyoung had used and washed and San hadn’t even bothered to sit and eat with him . “Shit, I d… I’m sorry .” He apologized to thin air and moved back to his work station, glaring down at it like it had offended him and really it had ruined him . It was unsurprising, but San hadn’t felt this kind of heartbreak, before. The unsettling, heavy fear in his chest that he’d lost something so important to him he could hardly breathe. His tight breath caught on a sob and he grabbed for his phone. “I’ll just- call him- ” 

“San? What’s happened?” 

“...Yunho?” San’s voice was an embarrassed whimper, because he’d heard all of that because he’d never hung up the phone in his rush. 

“Yes- What was the yelling?” Yunho worried, and San heard some rustling over the line. 

“...it’s nothing-”

“Did he leave?” 

It was like Yunho was in his head, and San just choked on a pitiful sob and plopped back into his seat, wet eyes unfocused toward the computer screen. All of that was still going on, and on top of it Wooyoung was angry with him and he just felt so sick. He glanced to the side, to the plate of breakfast food and his glasses folded neatly beside it and he squeezed his eyes shut, pushing the plate back behind his laptop so he didn’t have to see it. 

“I’m coming over there. We can work this out, and we can work Wooyoung out, too.” Yunho sounded so gentle and San covered his face, keeping his sobs behind a tightly constricted airway. “I’ll be there soon.” 

“Thanks.”

‧₊˚.☁︎

When Yunho arrived, San was… in a state.

He"d never seen his boss and best friend so absolutely destroyed, trying very poorly to play it off. His eyes and nose were red and his brow was in a permanent bunch above his eyes, so much so he’d probably get wrinkles just from sitting like that. Yunho had brought Mingi with him, mostly because Mingi had been staying with him the past few nights and Yunho felt bad leaving him at his disheveled home alone like some kind of stray puppy. Yunho had a backpack stuffed with laptops and cables and crumpled papers and Mingi was carrying a drink tray, holiday themed hot-cups almost filling it. There was only one spot left in the tray. One that probably would have been filled, had Wooyoung been there.

San felt his guts churn.

"We"re here with coffee to the rescue." Mingi huffed, wandering over to the kitchen where San was standing, mindlessly clutching an empty, clean mug and Mingi made a face at him. "Here." He handed San the drink they"d gotten him and he took it, empty mug in one hand, coffee in the other. Mingi sighed at him and took the cup back. "Coffee goes in the cup." He popped the lid off and poured the drink for him, and San just stared at it, then looked back up at his friend.

"San-" 

San squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, sulking back over to his computer, wanting to simply smash the entire thing and leave his life behind to be Wooyoung"s live-in boyfriend. Fiance . Were they-? His throat felt hot and he sat down, hunching over his cup. 

"...okay, it"s worse than I thought, then. What happened, exactly?" Yunho set up his station across from San and Mingi took a seat between them, snatching a piece of cold bacon off of the plate behind San"s laptop. San watched him with sad puppy eyes. 

"I j…. I work too much, that"s the issue. I"m frustrated all the time and I snapped at him -" San cut himself off and put his head in his hands. "He said he felt like a punching bag for my bad moods and I didn"t know he felt that way." San let his head plop onto the table and Yunho sighed, pinching his nose before opening up his laptops. 

"Well, he is right, you do work too much." Yunho glanced over at him but San was still slumped. 

"I have too much work is the problem." San grumbled, muffled against the wood of his table. 

"You won"t hire more help , is the problem." Yunho quirked a brow at him and San looked up at him, eyes wet. 

"We"re usually fine, we don"t need-"

"Don"t try and convince me I don"t know how much work you take home. It should be none ." Yunho was clicking away at his keyboard, and San just watched him, then sat up like he had anything he could do to help. He usually just waited for Yunho to send him things to fill out, or sign, or calls to make. "Since Second Link debuted, you"ve been non-stop, San. I know you need it to be perfect, but hire somebody whose job it is to make it perfect ." 

"That"s what my job is , though! What good am I if I"m not making sure they"re okay?" San looked so disheveled, bed hair somehow when it was two in the afternoon. 

"Sannah. Do you think JYP spends all his time managing his own groups?" Yunho scoffed, and San rolled his eyes.

"I"m not him , though-"

"You do the same job! He hires more managers to manage his groups and assistants to assist him. He doesn"t attend every event in every country. If he did he"d be dead ." Yunho had been pushing San to hire some more management for the group for a while, even a second or third assistant just for the paperwork he couldn’t ever seem to finish. But San insisted he could do it, he only needed him and his single assistant. "Something is going to fall through the cracks if you"re not careful- If you don"t hire somebody to manage them properly ." 

"You say that like I"m not the best person for the job -" 

"You are! But that doesnt matter, does it? Your fiance just walked out on you and you won"t even admit you"re overworked." 

"He didn"t walk out on me-"

"Is he here right now?" Yunho watched San go through the five stages of grief all at once. "Do you know when he"s coming back?" San looked down at the mug between his palms, caramel colored liquid rippling before he set it back down. "Well?" Yunho stopped his typing and looked up at his friend, the dark rings under his eyes evident under the kitchen light. 

"Who"s gonna even want to manage them, right now?" San looked defeated, and he was, his own lax rules becoming his undoing. " We don"t think it"s a big deal but- everyone else in the industry is saying "I told you so" right now. I look like a fucking idiot and the boys are taking the heat because that stupid asshole in finance-" 

"Okay, you already fired him, don"t keep cursing his name, you"ll drive yourself nuts." Yunho sighed and pulled a manila folder from his bag, a little crumpled but nothing too bad. "I"ve done the legwork, already. I"ve been sifting through options for a few weeks." Mingi passed the folder over and San took it, peeking inside, smoothing the pages with his fingers. They were applicants, graded and sorted and one had a yellow sticky note on the front that said Second Link . 

"What is this?" San flipped through the pages, finding another applicant with the name of another one of his groups on it. They seemed pretty qualified, and San tried to read them over but his head was pounding, still. 

"What does it look like? It"s applications, duh." Mingi scoffed and leaned to look as well, brows raised along with San"s at all the work Yunho had done, all without being prompted. 

"What happens if you get sick? Or want to take a vacation? Or Wooyoung gets sick? Or you want to go on a honeymoon because you"re supposedly engaged unless that"s called off too-"

"Okay! I get it! I don"t- need a lecture right now." San hissed, and Yunho just sighed at him, looking back down at his screen to try and appease the skincare brand the band was supposed to work with. 

"Apparently, you do." Mingi squinted at him, irritated that he wouldn"t just listen to Yunho. "You got the literal man of your dreams to fall in love with you and just let him walk out the door -"

"Min, don"t -"

"He"s right. It"s my fucking fault, I know it is." San picked at his nail, lip worried between his teeth. "I was being a dick because I"m stressed and he"s sick of it and I don"t blame him ." San slumped back in his chair, eyes rolling up to look at his computer screen. 

"Well… give him time, I guess. I mean- Apologize , make sure he knows you know what the issue is, but, give him time." Yunho nodded, and San nodded back, grabbing for his phone to start drafting up a text message that he would undoubtedly stare at for the next hour before hitting send. "Wait for him to call, you know?"

‧₊˚.☁︎

"No, he can call you."

Yeosang huffed and took his friend"s phone away, a long, pointless text message from Choi San flashing across his screen and Yeosang swiped it away immediately. He wasn"t one for drama, and he"d never seen Wooyoung cry, not like he was now.

"What if he"s just anxious-" Wooyoung"s nose was blocked from all the crying and his breathing hitched when he tried to grab his phone back. 

"Him being anxious doesn"t mean he can just try and apologize over text . That"s worse than breaking up over a text." Yeosang rolled his eyes and watched Wooyoung slump, pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes, feeling another wave of sobs approaching at the mere mention of breaking up. " Oh - come on…" Yeosang moved to pull his friend into his arms, tucking his head under his chin, one hand cradling his hair. 

"Boys are so fucking stupid. " Wooyoung sobbed, and Yeosang nodded, letting the younger use his t-shirt as a tissue for his tears. 

“They are.” Yeosang had rushed over the second Wooyoung called him, and the first thing out of his mouth was a heartbreaking sob. Wooyoung hardly cried like that over anything, so knowing some boy made him fall apart like that- San had become Yeosang"s number one mortal enemy immediately. Wooyoung had explained the situation to him through his tears and Yeosang listened to every little excuse Wooyoung made for that wretched man . 

He"s going through a lot. I know he didn"t mean it. But I love him, Yeosangie. Stuff like this happens to couples, doesn"t it? It can"t always be perfect, I shouldn"t have gotten so upset-

"Stop putting your needs behind his." Yeosang had cut him off, patting his hair while Wooyoung laid over his chest, both of them snuggling on his couch because Wooyoung was aching for human contact and Yeosang knew him well enough to know that . "Your feelings should come before his attitude. I know he wasn"t outright mean to you, but- That job comment really doesn"t make any fucking sense, first of all." Yeosang rolled his eyes and glanced over at Wooyoung"s phone, watching the text reminder pop up. "It"s literally why he"s so obsessed with you in the first place. It’s really fucking bold of him to talk about it like it’s a lesser occupation." He reached to flip the phone over and push it further away. He could see Wooyoung trying to read the tiny letters from this distance. 

"...you don"t think he got like, sick of me, do you?" Wooyoung asked between sniffles and Yeosang immediately shook his head.

"Nobody could get sick of you. I"m a prime example." Yeosang smiled, but Wooyoung"s face was more blank than it had been, a second ago. 

"But… like… if he realized I"m really annoying, because I bug him while he"s working all the time? Like the cons outweigh the pros, kinda thing?" Wooyoung started picking at the seam on Yeosang"s shirt. 

"You"re not annoying , Youngie-"

"Everyone"s annoying to someone." He mumbled, curling in on himself a little. "Maybe I"m annoying to him, now. He’s over having sex with me and now he’s realized I’m not actually worth it. " Yeosang felt his own heart break and squeezed him, wishing he could fuse all his pieces back together. He knew how happy San made him. 

He also knew that Wooyoung wouldn"t ever be the same, if San did cast him aside. He was part of him now. That man had wiggled his way deep into Wooyoung"s heart and he"d been living there for too long for a breakup to not do lasting, catastrophic damage. 

He needed that idiot to fix this. All Yeosang could do was attempt to hold Wooyoung"s pieces together long enough for him to figure that out.

".. can you at least read it and make sure he"s okay?" Wooyoung pointed to his phone and Yeosang sighed, hesitating before reaching over to grab the damn thing. "Can I see?" Wooyoung pouted, and Yeosang kept the screen dark until Wooyoung gave up and tucked his head again. "Can you tell me if he"s angry?" His voice was so small and Yeosang nodded in a lie. Even if San wrote the meanest, most vile message, Yeosang would tell him everything was fine. Because Wooyoung wouldn’t be able to handle that, right now.

I want you to know how sorry i am, youngie. im gonna fix it, i promise, it wont be like this anymore. ill make more time for you. im so so sorry i spoke to you that way. you deserve so much better but i know you know that. ill make it better. ill make ME better so i can be good for you. i wont badger you with a bunch of messages, so just take your time. 

I do love you, promise.

Yeosang realized he was incredibly right to not show Wooyoung that message. He"d be running down the fucking street to get to him, if he"d read that himself. Yeosang"s own throat felt tight just reading that, and he wasn"t even the one it was aimed at. San is one persuasive motherfucker . So, he promptly deleted it.

"...He"s not angry." 

"Oh… good, I guess." 

‧₊˚.☁︎

San"s eyes were practically burning, with how long he"d been eyeing his cell phone. No response, which honestly he"d expected but he still wasn"t taking it very well. Yunho had been helping him sort out the Second Link mess for hours, and San had sent emails to the applicants Yunho had chosen for management of his groups. It still felt wrong, pushing his responsibility onto someone else, but… Yunho was right. 

He may have been the best person for the job, but none of that would matter if Wooyoung suffered from it. That was the only way he could rationalize it. San would gladly overwork himself and suffer on his own. But dragging the love of his life down with him was never something he"d wanted to do. So, he sent the emails, made the phone calls, and all of them had working interviews on Monday- With Yunho , because the man wouldn"t allow San to pick anything else up. They were packing up, now, Yunho stuffing the last wire into his bag when Mingi stood stock still in the kitchen.

"...hm." Mingi had ignored the alerts he"d received on his phone while they were packing up, since it was well past midnight and he just wanted to get back to Yunho"s bed and enjoy his own not catastrophically fucked relationship. Well, they were getting there at least. 

"Is it important?" Yunho looked at him curiously, and Mingi"s eyes moved right for San, but darted away as quickly as they could back to Yunho. But he wasn"t fast enough, San had caught the unsettled, pitied expression on his face. 

"What?" San dug around in his pocket for his own phone and Mingi panicked, clicking his phone off before turning to try and evacuate immediately. 

"Why would he go live right now…?" Yunho was clueless, apparently. He"d seen the alert on Mingi"s phone before, so he knew what the icon meant when he saw it. But when Yunho looked at San, he looked pale.

"I didn"t get anything…" San was pouting , clicking around on his phone to get to Wooyoung"s stream, but he just got a screen he"d never seen before, and it made him sick immediately. 

This user is not available

"What, you didn"t get the-" Mingi watched San"s face fall, frantically tapping around on his screen before he moved over toward the man who did receive a stream notification. "...did he block you?" Mingi just let San take his phone, knowing damn well it would be a wrestling match he"d lose. Yunho huffed and set his bag down, moving to try and take the device but San jerked away like a child. 

"San, don"t do that to yourself-"

"What the fuck is he doing that he doesn’t want me to see!?" San sounded frantic, exasperated, terrified. The video took forever to load but when it did, his shoulders relaxed, seeing Wooyoung fully dressed on his couch at his apartment. It looked like he was just talking, holding the phone out like it was some kind of video call rather than a livestream to thousands. 

"...won"t be live, much. I just have some life stuff to sort out, so when that"s done, I"ll be back!" 

He sounded so chipper. And fake . He kept on talking, but San wasn"t hearing him, he was just staring at him, trying to get a read on him, if maybe he"d seen his message, anything. San had slumped to the kitchen floor at some point and Yunho pinched his nose, wishing he could just smack some sense into his friend but he knew it wouldn"t help, even if he did. 

"...his ring’s off." San muttered, thoroughly investigating both of his hands before he drew any conclusions. 

"...see you guys later! I"m sorry, again."

The phone levitated away from him and San realized someone else had been holding it. The voice was deep and quiet when it asked Wooyoung some question, and he watched him get up and giggle and help whoever it was end the stream. 

"...who the fuck is that ?" San huffed, trying to reload the stream so he could play it again but it was unavailable. He felt like he was going crazy. 

"Was there someone else there?" Yunho worried, because that would be a little harsh, if he had to speak his opinion on how to react to your partner being a dick to you. Having someone else on his stream was a little excessive, if that was what it was.

"I mean- they weren"t doing anything-" Mingi was really just looking at how red the back of San"s neck was. He knew he was pissed.

"That doesn"t matter - what if they"re doing stuff off camera?" San scrambled to his feet and Mingi took his phone back before San could chuck it. "I"m going over there -" 

"San!" Yunho was exasperated and San halted, his heart racing and Yunho just put a hand on his shoulder, neck bent to meet his eye. "You really think he"s that kind of guy?"  

"... no , but-"

"No but"s , San. You know him. Would he cheat on you, or sleep with someone else, or is that just your panic brain talking?" Yunho sighed, watching San shake his head and relax, just a little. "If you go over there throwing around insane accusations, it"s really over. So please . Stay in your house. Don"t send him cryptic shit, either. Don"t send him anything. Just wait. " Yunho really wished he could confiscate San"s phone, but San is a grown man and can make his own bad choices.

"...I just sit here?" San asked, watching Mingi creep towards the door, and Yunho nodded, tugging him in for a little awkward hug.

"He will come to you, when he"s ready. If he doesn"t call in a few days, we work up a new game plan. Okay?" Yunho watched what was left of the light in San"s face drain away.

"A few days?" 

"...you don"t think he"s going to come running back to you today or tomorrow, do you? When I said time I meant time , San." Yunho watched San wander over to his kitchen table, his laptop still set up where it had been all day. 

"Few days is fine." San mumbled, kicking the table leg with the toe of his slipper, and Yunho worried about leaving him alone. But, Mingi tugged on his elbow, reminding him that he in fact had a life outside of work, outside of other people"s drama and heartaches. 

"Call if you need, Sannah. I’ll be around." Yunho spoke softly, and San nodded, not meeting his eyes as they moved toward his door. 

"Bye, Sannah." Mingi waved sheepishly and shut the door behind them. San stayed sat where he was, eyes unfocused toward the ground while he waited to hear their car pull off. And then it was quiet.

All too quiet, silence hurting his ears, making his eyes water, and the email notification from his laptop felt like alarm bells. That’s what broke the rest of him. A culmination of two weeks worth of stress all smashing together to wreck him from the inside. 

He gripped his laptop screen in his fist and wrenched it from the table, sending it smashing across the room and into one of the large paintings on his wall. The sound it made was sickening but San hardly heard it, the ringing in his ears too fucking loud . The glass over the painting shattered and he watched it fall, his screen flickering green and black before it completely shorted out. 

His phone was the next victim. The notification sound made his heart thunder in his chest, frantically checking it to see if it was Wooyoung, but it was another email from another investor and he just stared at it for a good few minutes. Maybe a message would come through. Maybe Wooyoung would ask him to order him a car home so they could talk.

Home. Home is here, but Wooyoung is not so what is this big fucking house even good for-

He sent the device through a decorative glass pane, one separating his dining room from his kitchen, and he hardly breathed as he watched the entire thing smash to bits. Watching the glass fall and spread across his floor held some kind of strange satisfaction. 

His smart watch beeped and he ripped it from his wrist, smashing it into the edge of the table by its band but it didn"t break, somehow. He felt deranged. He’d never been so violent in his life, not that he could recall. He whipped it into another glass pane but it just bounced off and San growled in irritation, stalking over to the thing to break it down himself. But he stopped when he saw his reflection, angry eyes meeting terrified ones and he let the glass live to see another day, stalking through broken pieces on the floor, hearing it crunch under his slippers. 

He ended up crouching around in the glass to try and find his cell phone, realizing that if Wooyoung were to contact him, he’d have no way of knowing. He’d have to at least keep that around, even though he was hell bent on destroying his communication to the outside world so it’d stop pissing him off, stop reminding him exactly why Wooyoung had left in the first place.

He did end up finding and plucking his phone from the mess, cracked on one side but for a phone that just broke through a glass pane, it was doing pretty well. He clicked it on and the screen lit up, showing off the time, his unending stream of email notifications that he’d have to turn off to keep his sanity, and the picture of Wooyoung he kept as his lock screen background- A photo of him sleeping on his thigh, little yellow stars decorating his face, glasses askew, hood up over his head. 

Fuck, he missed him . 

‧₊☁︎˚.

San didn’t bother cleaning anything. For a few days. He just shut his cat in her room- yes, his cat had a room, where the fuck else was she supposed to go when he had gatherings? And went to sleep like that every night, the house half destroyed, his heart worn, emotionally exhausted, skipping work and Yunho had no complaints about it. 

His life was so silent. He didn’t know how the fuck he’d lived like this, before Wooyoung. He spent the majority of his time in his cat"s room, since that’s where she was, lounging in the sun in the middle of the floor, running along her extravagant ramps and shelves and play equipment he’d bought her and had installed. He didn’t even do much in there, just drank his coffee and wiggled around the little toy she loved, the one Wooyoung bought her and he was everywhere. 

That was the other reason he stayed in that room, with his cat, leaving only for the bathroom and to sleep in his bed, or to make food or collect takeout from the front steps. Wooyoung was all over every inch of that house and no matter how badly he missed him , it hurt to see the dishes still sitting untouched, washed and covered in a little bit of dust from being left on the counter for days. It hurt to see his shoes by the door, his coat hung on the hook on the back of his bedroom door. Everything fucking hurt and San was too respectful for his own good to just send him a message, or call him, or go there.

And, he’d been waking up in the middle of the day, no alarms going off because he’d silenced everything. He’d hoped that if he’d stayed asleep long enough, he could have some cute dream where everything was fine again. He was wrong, he’d had a dream about ducks last night but that was neither here nor there. He was shuffling around his house in a pair of boots, making coffee with his dingy espresso machine so he could wake up and decide if today was going to be the day he got his shit together or not. 

The doorbell scared the shit out of him, but he moved over to it anyway, almost slipping on glass because what if it’s Wooyoung? He wrenched the door open to expose the man on the other side, neon green pulled back into a tiny ponytail and San slumped a little, but perked up internally, because that’s Wooyoung’s friend . 

“Morning.” San croaked, voice ragged and he cleared his throat, taking a few steps back so Yeosang could come in, if he wanted. 

“...what the fuck happened in there?” He squinted into San’s home, glass all over, a picture frame broken and snapped, laptop suspiciously placed in the center of all the glass and he glared at San, who just blinked at him from behind his glasses like an idiot. 

“Did he talk to you at all?” San breathed, stepping into view again because he figured Yeosang didn’t want to come in with his home looking like it did. But he shouldered past San, and San followed him like a lost puppy. “Did- Do you know if he saw my text?” San asked, and Yeosang pulled his phone out, casually snapping a video of the mess and San felt his guts churn. “I just- Dropped some stuff don’t show him this, please-” 

“I’m not here for you , Wooyoung sent me to get a very specific outfit, so if you could just leave me be I’ll be out of your hair in a second.” Yeosang side eyed him and San stumbled a little but kept following.

“If you tell me what it is, I can help you look for it…?” San offered meekly, and Yeosang just kept moving, going into the bedroom to try and find something very risque to pick up. 

Wooyoung hadn’t sent him over here to get something. Yeosang wanted to assess San for himself and maybe try and get his ass in gear so he’d call him. His plan was to make him jealous, but with how destroyed his home was, Yeosang almost wanted to fear for his safety. Though… he knew damn well San couldn’t hurt a soul.

“It’s a little dress, sheer?” Yeosang spoke and San had no fucking clue what he was describing. “We’re going clubbing tonight, he wanted to look cute .” Yeosang stoked the fire and sifted through Wooyoung"s side of the closet, plucking through sequins and sheer fabrics and all kinds of things while San stood behind him in the doorway like an idiot. 

“...why’s he doing that…?” San’s voice was so tiny and Yeosang wanted to smack him for being so cute but he resisted.

“Because he’s an adult and he can . Why?” Yeosang looked over his shoulder at him before turning back around, realizing Wooyoung didn’t own anything like he described so he snatched some lingerie instead.

“What’s he need that for?” San’s voice was squeaky and pathetic and Yeosang started to feel a little mean. 

“It’s sheer- What, should he just wear nothing under it? I’ll tell him your suggestion.” Yeosang scoffed and San crept closer, watching Yeosang panic and sift through hangers to try and find something. 

“Are you going with him?” San asked, hiding his nervous hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah, we’re going just the two of us.” Yeosang finally landed on a sheer shirt and a skirt that looked pretty thin. Just enough to fool San into thinking he was actually here for good reason, not just to spy and irritate.

“Will you just make sure he’s safe?” San worried, and Yeosang sighed, moving over to the rack of shoes Wooyoung had there to pick up a random pair of outrageous heels. “Just don’t let anything bad happen to him?” San watched him, followed him, shuffling through glass and Yeosang stopped when he got to the door again. 

“Why are you so convinced he’ll get hurt? Think he can’t fend for himself?” Yeosang eyed him and San shook his head, holding his hands up. 

“No, I- I know he can, it’s just- if he gets recognized-”

“He’ll be safe. God. You worry like a mom and act like a dad.” San shut his mouth and watched Yeosang look over his house again. “Smashing things like a pissed off father… Wooyoung was worried about Byeol, so I’ll tell him she’s playing around in broken glass.” Yeosang just wanted reasons to be irritated, at that point. Wooyoung had been so upset . He just… wanted San to be as upset. 

“No, she- She’s in her room, she has a room…” San pointed back down the hall and Yeosang smacked his forehead, turning back for the door. Of course the cat has room. “What club are you going to?” San asked the question before he could even think about it, really, and Yeosang had no answer for that, because there was no club. His ruse was getting him in a little too deep.

“Uhh… Outlaw .” Yeosang thought of the first place he could and waved him off, hurrying for the door as San floundered uselessly. He slammed the door hurriedly behind him, making a break for it. San watched through the window, peeking to watch Yeosang speed-walk to his Uber to climb in with a fist full of skimpy clothing. 

“...Outlaw, huh?” San mumbled to himself, glancing over at the mess he really needed to clean, then up at the time on the clock above his stove. Maybe if he went, he could just make sure they’d be safe. Keep an eye on them from afar. He won’t say hi, he’ll just… make sure they’re okay. 

He thought about what Yunho would say. Stay in your house. Give him time.

Then he thought about the handful of times Wooyoung had been recognized while they were out together and hurried toward his bedroom to find something inconspicuous to wear. 

‧₊☁︎˚.

“...Sangie, I’m not going to a club right now. That’s crazy.” Wooyoung was curled up on his couch with his third ice cream bar of the night, brow furrowed as he watched Yeosang try to convince him that going out would be a good idea. He was desperately waiting by his phone for a call from San. No way was he going to put on some skimpy ass outfit and roll up to a club just to go along with Yeosang’s make him jealous plan. 

He didn’t need to make San jealous. 

…So, how he ended up in the back of an Uber black with Yeosang, he wasn’t really sure. Maybe it was the itch in the back of his mind that he should make San jealous. It had been almost a fucking week- Maybe he needed to make him regret ever yelling at him, or being a dick, or talking about his job like it was easy -

“Stupid fucking- Ugh .” Wooyoung swiped uselessly at his lock screen, squishing San’s face with his thumb since his background was the picture they’d taken together in Disneyland, stupid cute little ears on, his cute dimples- “I hate him so much.” Wooyoung kicked the back of the seat and instantly regretted it, glancing up at the driver to make sure he wasn’t about to eject him from his vehicle for throwing a hissy fit. It didn’t seem like he’d even noticed.

“Let’s take some pictures. We look too nice to not .” Yeosang smiled and leaned over, looping an arm around Wooyoung to angle his phone up and take a photo. He threw it right up on his instagram with no filters, rainbow LED’s not doing their skin any favors but that was kind of the point. These pictures weren’t really to look good . They were to make one stupid, destructive idiot jealous. Yeosang couldn’t fathom why he hadn’t bothered to reach out and call or visit Wooyoung, so clearly he needed pushing. 

A text wasn’t enough. 

“I don’t wanna drink a bunch.” Wooyoung pouted and tucked his phone into his bag, wandering into the club behind Yeosang, who apparently was a VIP here, the bouncer stepping aside to let them skip the line and go right inside. Cameras were flashing to capture Yeosang’s entrance, and Wooyoung worried for a second if this would cause drama for Yunho to deal with… Since it was partially public knowledge to anyone who cared to put the clues together that H.A.L.A.’s CEO was dating a cam boy, and that cam boy was attending a club without him. 

“We can drink whatever we want, it’s covered. They pay me to promote this place, so they give me whatever I want for free. Not the top shelf stuff, but…”

“That shit’s nasty, anyway.” Wooyoung chuckled, linking arms with Yeosang as they maneuvered through the club. 

It would have been hard to miss their entrance, even if San hadn’t been staring. 

“C’mon, we’re up here.” Yeosang pulled him along, and Wooyoung was really already regretting his decision to come. Large, packed public settings weren’t his favorite, not after he’d started to get recognized. But, there was enough security littering the floor that Wooyoung felt a little more safe than he’d assumed he would. There was already a bottle of alcohol on their table and a few other people sitting there, none of which Wooyoung recognized but Yeosang seemed friendly with, a few guys and a handful of girls seated in the booth. 

Yeosang introduced him, and Wooyoung tried his best to not look too down, his heart already racing from the way these people were looking at him. Not bad , just… 

“Have I seen you somewhere?”

There it is.

“Probably not.” Wooyoung chuckled and slipped into the seat beside Yeosang, shoving himself a little closer when one of the men from the opposite side of the table moved across to sit next to him, effectively trapping him in the booth.

“They’re all from my agency- They’re all nice, don’t worry.” Yeosang leaned to speak to him but there was now a suspicious hand on Wooyoung’s thigh and he already wanted to throw elbows. 

“I’m sure they are.” Wooyoung pulled his phone out, placing it on the table in front of him, face up, screen on, background of him and San clearly visible and the hand magically disappeared after a few seconds. 

Well, at least he was observant. 

“That’s cute. That your brother?” Clearly, the guy was still trying, but at least he was being… less invasive about it. Wooyoung shook his head and opened his mouth to say boyfriend . But, the word dried up on his tongue and he closed his mouth again. It had been a week. A week with no contact. What did that make them? He scooped his phone up to stuff it into his bag and tried to join whatever conversation Yeosang was having. 

But… it was something about work and Wooyoung had no clue how to insert himself.

“You have a boyfriend, then?” The guy caught his attention again and Wooyoung wanted to crawl under the table and sit there with the chewed gum and lost change. 

“ Fiance .” Wooyoung corrected him and his gaze instinctively went down to his hand, to the little indent where his ring usually sat. He’d taken it off in a fit of rage and daintily placed it in the jewelry box on his dresser, then closed the lid so he didn’t have to keep looking at it.

“Ah, I see, I see.” The guy nodded, clearly fighting a losing battle but he scooted in a little closer and Wooyoung leaned away, into Yeosang. “Hey, I’m not like, trying to pull anything, I’m just a fan. You know?” The guy smiled at him and Wooyoung raised his lip in irritated disgust. 

“So the hand on my thigh earlier was…. An accident?” Wooyoung made a face at him and the guy looked sheepish, leaning back a little. 

“Admittedly that was my intention, at first. But, I didn’t realize sir was an actual partner of yours and not just some hired help.” The guy scoffed and Wooyoung just stared at him, then leaned back to pull his hands into his lap. He really wanted to leave. People thought San was some actor? Did it look that fake, to his audience? He really wanted to go home, and sit in his room and eat another fucking ice cream bar and wait for San to call him and say he was sorry. “Hey- are you okay?” Wooyoung watched a hand get close to his face and he flinched away, staring at the guy like he was a fucking idiot, which he was. It looked like he’d been aiming to fix his bangs for him but the guy got lifted by the scruff of his jacket and dragged off, some security guard with hawk-like vision saving his ass from any more mild annoyance. Wooyoung sighed and shut his eyes, ignoring the confused looks he was getting from the rest of the table. 

“That was rude. Can security just do that?!” One of the girls watched the guy getting pulled off and Yeosang shrugged, leaning to check on Wooyoung. 

“Are you okay?” Yeosang felt bad that he’d missed whatever the fuck had happened, pushing an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders to get him involved in the conversation.

“Yeah, I- He didn’t do anything, but he wouldn’t leave me alone.” Wooyoung scoffed, and Yeosang rolled his eyes, watching the security guard drag the guy down the stairs and out the door. 

“Yeah… Eli’s not the most socially adept guy.” 

“Mm- Seems like it.” 

‧₊☁︎˚.

“Hey man! Let go-”  

“Can you really not pick up when someone’s not into your advances?” San adjusted his hat a little, lucky it was dark enough out that he wouldn’t be able to get a good look at his face. San had been listening the entire time, and hearing Wooyoung still refer to him as his fiance gave him hope, and maybe a little bit of cocky confidence. “You can’t act like a creep to anyone you want- He said he had a fiance, didn’t he?”

“A guy like him? He’s lying, he definitely doesn’t have a fiance. He doesn’t even have a ring on!” The guy scoffed, taking a few steps back because San probably looked intimidating- at least, he hoped he did.

“...what do you mean, a guy like him?” San scoffed, getting more and more irritated every time the guy opened his mouth. 

“He’s a sex worker, he flirts with people for a living!”

“He flirts with a camera for a living and you’re fucking dumb enough to fall for it.” San’s facial expression darkened enough that the guy could see it in the low lighting and he stumbled back, squinting at him.

“I d- I didn’t say he was a cam worker -” The guy stuttered over his words and then had a brilliant thought. “You’re a fan , aren’t you?” The guy relaxed a bit, as if he had some kind of comradery with San the security guard before San pulled his hat off and glared at him. “...you’re the guy in the picture.” He straightened up and San glanced over to the doors, then pulled his hat back on. “So you’re- what - his security? Isn’t that overkill?” This guy was dumb, San had decided. Way past dumb, actually.

“God, you are fucking irritating aren’t you?” San scoffed, shouldering his way past him to make his way back into the club. He had better things to be doing than bothering with this idiot . Any other one of those people could be bugging Wooyoung right now . Once he made his way back inside and up to the table, Wooyoung and Yeosang were gone, only a couple of the others left and San paled, head on a swivel as he looked for his partner. 

He was just lucky the one escorting him around was one of the few people with a mop of neon green hair, and he spotted it bobbing through the dance floor. He sighed and decided an aerial view might be best, staying enough in the dark but close to the edge, watching Wooyoung run his fingers through his bangs and laugh about something with Yeosang and one other girl. It looked like he was enjoying himself, finally. San smiled to himself and just watched, leaning up against a column.

‧₊☁︎˚.

Wooyoung really had started having fun, once that weirdo was gone and Yeosang broke them away from the main group, only one girl tagging along with them and she was the most down to earth of the bunch. They’d snapped photos together, danced, drank, and made their way through practically the entire club before making their way to the bathroom, taking up the entire gender neutral restroom since it was smaller than the gendered ones for some reason.

“You are having fun, though! I can tell.” Yeosang smiled and fixed his eye makeup in the mirror, a smokey look he’d tested out and really ended up enjoying. 

“I mean I am , I’m just still… I just want him to call .” Wooyoung kicked at the bathroom sink pipes, huffing while their new friend listened in on the conversation.

“Want who to call? A guy you like?” She smiled up at him and leaned to adjust her braid in the mirror. 

“...a guy I’m supposed to be dating.”

“Engaged to.” Yeosang corrected him and Wooyoung sighed, pulling his phone out to check it. Nothing from San, much to his disappointment but he wasn’t expecting much, anyway. 

“Why won"t he just call me?” Wooyoung felt so upset all over again and Yeosang shrugged, reaching to take the phone and push it into his bag. “If he’d just… Come apologize- I don’t know. I don’t want him to keep working himself to death-”

“Stop worrying about him! He was a dick to you, he destroyed his house-”

“What?” Wooyoung stared at Yeosang in the mirror and watched him sigh. “Destroyed his house? What does that even mean-” Yeosang rummaged around in his bag for his phone. He pulled the video up he’d taken and handed it off to Wooyoung, the girl peeking up to look at the video as well. 

“Jeez. Destructive. Seems like an ass to me. I hate guys like that.” The girl huffed, turning away after the video looped and Wooyoung watched it again, pausing it to spot San’s laptop crumpled in the middle of the floor. The laptop he’d been staring at for two fucking weeks because he couldn’t take a break, the thing that had driven a wedge between them. So how was he even getting any work done?

“Doesn’t get what he wants, throws a temper tantrum.” Yeosang was picking an eyelash off his face when Wooyoung pushed his friend"s phone onto the counter and pulled his own out, looking down at San’s contact for a good long minute. He leaned against the bathroom wall before hitting the call button. “What- Are you calling him?” Yeosang huffed, turning to reach for Wooyoung’s phone but he scurried away, busting into the back bathroom stall. It resisted a little but he slipped into it and locked the door, shuffling back, reaching to re-lock it when the latch slipped and Yeosang huffed on the other side of the thin metal. “Fine! But don’t cry to me when he makes you all upset again.” Yeosang huffed, then mumbled something to his other friend before the door got pushed open, and then closed, and Wooyoung sighed, head thumping onto the bathroom door. His phone rang, then rang all the way through, ending up with just San’s voicemail. He sighed, then stepped back to slump against the wall. 

All his blood ran cold when he realized he was not alone in the stall . 

And then his blood boiled , because he recognized the figure, even with his hat held over his face like that’d make him disappear. 

“...what the fuck are you doing here?!” Wooyoung hissed, back stiffening against the wall and San dropped his hat, letting it hit the floor so he could push his hands together, forehead knocking against them. 

“YeosangtoldmeyouwerecomingandIwantedtomakesureyouweresafe-”

“Can you speak normally? What the fuck , San.” Wooyoung huffed, San’s hands visibly shaking where he had them pushed together and he softened just a little. “...San…”

“ Yeosang - He said you were going out , so I wanted to make sure you’d be okay . I didn’t mean for you to see me, I just -” 

“Stalked me all the way in here?” 

“...basically. I’m sorry, I really didn’t want you to even know I was here-”

“Why are you just hiding ? Why can’t you come talk to me like a normal person? ” Wooyoung was tearing up and he didn’t even realize it. “Why won’t you call me?” Wooyoung hissed, voice cracking. He was just angry . He wanted to beat him up and fall into him all at once. He was sick of the distance and sick of San taking his time.

“I don’t want to rush you into forgiving me.” San admitted, dropping his hands, shoulders slumped and Wooyoung spotted the red under his eyes. 

“...why’d you break all our shit?” Wooyoung asked, and San’s stomach did flips over the little ‘our’ that came before shit. 

“I was just- Angry . I let work get in the way of us- I got sick of it. That’s why I said in my text I’d fix it-” 

“I didn’t get to read it.” Wooyoung cut him off, and San blinked at him. “Your text. Yeosang read it to make sure you were fine but he deleted it before I could see it. He said it was so I didn’t go crawling back to you, or whatever.” Wooyoung wiped his eye and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. 

“... Oh . Okay. It was just a text, I was going to tell you more in person, when you felt like seeing me.” San was picking at the hem of his shirt, and Wooyoung watched him, his own fingers digging into his biceps with his arms crossed over his chest defensively. 

“...how are you fixing it ?” Wooyoung asked, and the toilet beside San flushed automatically and made him jump, hand over his chest as he pushed his back to the stall wall. 

“Ohjesuschrist-” Wooyoung laughed at him, and San felt his heart get light and heavy all at once. 

“Big scaredy cat.” Wooyoung teased him and San pouted, then straightened back up. “...well, I feel like seeing you, now.” Wooyoung nodded, and San grinned, not of his own direction, it was just the shape his face took when Wooyoung said he wanted anything to do with him. “Not… in here, though.” Wooyoung made a face at the nasty club bathroom they were locked in and San couldn’t help but agree. 

“Do…you wanna go somewhere, to talk? Or home? Your home, or my-”

“ Our ? Home?” 

San felt his heart fill all over again. Wooyoung looked so pretty, starkly contrasted by the disgusting environment they’d finally met in, once again. 

“Please? Thanks. As long as there’s no more glass on the floor.” Wooyoung huffed, and San closed the gap between them, watching Wooyoung’s eyes get wide, but he stopped to flick the latch on the door and open it for him, stepping through to hold it open. 

“I had it cleaned earlier today, so it should be good, now.” San nodded, watching Wooyoung slip past him and he followed, keeping himself a safe distance behind. He still worried about pushing him too much. Yunho was right about not trying to force his apology onto Wooyoung, but he wondered if the whole wait for him to call idea was the wrong choice.

“Wooyoungah! Oh, fuck .” Yeosang had been waiting around near the bathroom for Wooyoung, only to spot San following behind him. 

“Look, we’re going to talk, okay?” Wooyoung hugged him when Yeosang approached him, only letting himself be pulled a few feet before breaking away with a huff. “It’s fine! Don’t worry.” Yeosang looked disappointed and Wooyoung groaned, glad that his friend was overprotective but irritated that he was so overprotective it seemed like he didn’t even want them to work it out. 

“Be nice to him!” Yeosang hissed, finger in San’s face in an accusatory way but Wooyoung bumped his hand away gently. “If he calls me crying one more time, the inside of your house won"t be the only thing that’s smashed.” San decided that Yeosang was so pretty, but also so, so scary. Face of a fairy, attitude of a demon, when it came to the people that were important to him. San also decided he was glad that Wooyoung had someone that cared about him, like that. 

“Let’s go.” Wooyoung nodded his head toward the doors and San followed.

“I ordered the car already.” San leaned to speak to him before they were weaving through the sea of bodies, struggling to keep up but Wooyoung stopped in the middle of all of it, bright purple light shifting to pink over his features, and held out his hand. 

“Stay close to me.”  

And San did.

☁︎‧₊˚.

Their ride was more silent than either of them found comfortable. The distance between them was so loud . Usually, Wooyoung sat in the middle seat and kept himself close to San, but he was curled up by his own window and San wanted to be the one to close the distance- Yet, he refrained. If Wooyoung wasn’t near him, it was for good reason.

The walk up to the house was quiet, taking their shoes off, quiet , San tugging Wooyoung’s jacket off for him, silent . It was just the rustle of clothes and the padding of socked feet across freshly cleaned wooden floors, and Wooyoung didn’t know exactly where to go first. He felt like a stranger, and San keeping more than an arms length distance from him didn’t make him feel any better. Something that did help, however, was Byeol slipping through his ankles with a big loud meow, then weaving back around his ankle before he picked her up. 

“...do you wanna sit on the couch? Or…” San was just watching, his cat happier than she’d been in days as she pushed her face all over Wooyoung, then squirmed until he let her go, both of them watching her zip away down the hall excitedly. 

“Mm, wherever.” Wooyoung looked over his shoulder but didn’t meet San’s eye, wandering through the now empty glass pane to make his way toward the living room couches. Wooyoung took a seat with his hands folded in his lap like he’d never been in this fucking room before and San didn’t like how out of place he looked. Like he wasn’t comfortable here, anymore. 

“...do you need anything?” San worried, sitting across from him and Wooyoung huffed, leaning into the couch he’d sat on dozens of times but suddenly now felt strange and uncomfortable.

“For you to start talking because this is fucking awkward?” Wooyoung hissed, realizing he was still irritated with him, even if he was happy to be around him again. San had said some rude shit about his job and it was still lodged under his skin like a parasite. He had always, always assumed that San respected him and what he did. He’d never questioned it, not until then.

“Well I-” San’s chest already fucking hurt, because he could practically feel Wooyoung’s irritation. “Why did you block me?” That was… not what was supposed to come out of his mouth. But clearly, anxiety was getting the best of him because he still didn’t know who it was, the guy from his stream. 

“...that’s what you’re asking about?” Wooyoung made a face and San didn’t say anything, watching Wooyoung’s eyelids flutter before he looked away, throat bobbing. “You know what-” He rolled up to his feet and San followed, not letting Wooyoung make it to the door that time before he snatched him by the wrist and kept a hold on him. 

“I panicked!” San croaked, and Wooyoung ripped his arm away, snatching his coat off the hook. “Don’t-” San was like a scared animal, scrambling in front of the door to block it and Wooyoung sighed, grabbing his shoes to make a point that he was leaving , even if San wanted to try and keep him trapped in here. “I’ve just been so worried about whoever it was that was with you, on your stream-” San slowly realized he was digging himself into an even bigger hole by asking all the wrong questions and saying all the wrong things. 

“...are you trying to ask me if I cheated on you?” Wooyoung scoffed, watching San made a pained face, but he nodded, and the honest expression he had made Wooyoung feel horrible . “Why would I do that?” San didn’t have an answer for that. Wooyoung knew the only answer for that would have to do with his job , and he was starting to think maybe San had always thought less of him than he’d ever let on. “Why would I do that, when you’re the only man I’ve slept with since freshman year of college?” Wooyoung felt tears burn his eyes but he refused to let them fall. This wasn’t fair. “The only man I’ve trusted enough? Because I thought you respected me? And were different? And- god, I sound like a fucking idiot, don’t I?” Wooyoung laughed, eyes rolling up to the ceiling to try and keep his tears at bay. 

“Youngah I do respect you- You know that!” San tried, watching Wooyoung’s face shift into irritated anger, meeting his eye when he finally looked back down. 

“I don’t think you do.”  

“Why won’t you just tell me who he was-”

“Because I have nothing to prove to you!”  Wooyoung’s voice echoed through the entryway, big and grand and still blocked by San’s body. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if I did, would it?” Wooyoung’s brows knit together when he felt his voice wavering. “We’ve been broken up since Saturday, as far as I’m concerned. I could have slept with whoever I wanted, if I wanted to.” 

“We’re not- No, you told that guy I’m your fiance-”

“To get him to leave me alone!” Wooyoung sobbed, finally losing a handle on himself because San was being so dumb . An apology would have sufficed, would have had Wooyoung in his lap by now but this sudden distrust was ripping both of them open to an unhealthy degree. “Maybe I should have let him do whatever the fuck it was he was trying to do with me.” 

“No, I- Wooyoung.” San took a tone he really had no right using, irritated, like Wooyoung was the one going off the rails. 

“Let me out of here.” Wooyoung moved to try and get around him. San’s hands gripped his arms and kept him from the door, but Wooyoung tried his hardest to break free from him. 

“Stop- Let me-” Wooyoung ended up tripping, his back hitting the wall and he stiffened, San’s hands pinning him there. 

“Letmego-” He let out a panicked sob, but San dropped down out of view, his hands still holding tight to Wooyoung’s wrists, his head hung as he tried to figure anything out. 

“Let me start over-”

“Why don’t you just go back to being a fucking viewer if this is all you care about.” Wooyoung scoffed, and San’s grip tightened, just a little bit. “I blocked you because I didn’t want you to see my notification and think the worst of me.” Wooyoung sobbed, tugging uselessly on his grip. “I didn’t want you to think for even a second that I’d do something like that. But I had to tell everyone why I wouldn’t be around, because It’s my job. ” San still couldn’t look up at him, fingers wrapped around the mesh fabric of his sleeves. “See? I’ve got obligations too. I’m not just some internet whore that has all this fucking fun online and does whatever he wants.” Wooyoung finally jerked one of his hands away and San grabbed onto his shirt instead. 

“I’ve never thought you were.” San spoke with a wobbly tone and Wooyoung looked down at him, at the way he was staring at his feet and white knuckling his shirt. “I was just irritated and exhausted and I never should have said some dumb shit I didn’t mean.” San finally lifted his head a little but he wasn’t looking at Wooyoung, wasn’t looking at much of anything. “I know how fucking hard you work. I know what you deal with, I see it.” San sighed and slipped his hand down a little, wrapping it around Wooyoung’s hand, pleased when he didn’t yank it away. “And I don’t think you’d ever do something like cheat .” He huffed, slumping down to sit on his heels. “I’ve just always been insecure. I still don’t understand why you like me , but you do. So- It’s not that I think you’d cheat on me , or sleep with someone else, because I know-” San choked on his own breath and slumped forward, cheek pressed to Wooyoung’s leg above his knee pathetically. “I know you wouldn’t. You’re so much better than that.” Wooyoung felt his heart ache and looked up, trying to will himself to be pissed off but it had faded, already. “It’s not that I think you would. It’s that- I don’t understand why you wouldn’t. I can’t comprehend how you’re so perfect and you’d still want me.” He sobbed and let his hands fall, wrapping his arms around Wooyoung’s calf. “I’m just some f-fucking guy with money that got really lucky. And I threw it all away because work was a little irritating.” His face was red, tears streaming, and Wooyoung had enough.

“Get up .” Wooyoung huffed, feeling San’s fingers dig into his leg but he let him go after a moment, swaying to his feet, taking a few steps back to turn his face away and wipe it with his sleeve. “Don’t give yourself a reason to get on your knees and cry at me ever again. It’s embarrassing , and you look pathetic now. How the fuck am I supposed to be mad?” Wooyoung moved closer to him to wipe his face for him, noting that San was very pointedly not looking at him. Like if he met his eye, he’d burst into flames. “It’s not fair.” Wooyoung muttered, running out of tears to wipe so he moved on to fix his mussed hair. 

“You should be mad.” San muttered, a hiccup on his breath and Wooyoung sighed, dropping his arms to take a few steps back. 

“So… how are you fixing the rest, exactly?” Wooyoung wondered, and San nodded, squaring his shoulders to try and compose himself even a little. 

“Hired help, people to do the work I can’t finish. No late hours, no weekend work.” San rubbed his face and Wooyoung nodded, dropping his hands to take one of San’s in his own. “It won’t ever be like that again. I’ll always have time- I always want to spend time with you.” San whispered, because if he raised his voice any louder he’d start crying again. “I wanna take you nice places- I don’t wanna keep you trapped in this stupid house because I have papers to sign.” San looked defeated, eyes still downturned.

“It was Yeosang. By the way.” 

“...huh?” San blinked at him cluelessly and Wooyoung sighed, shutting his eyes so he could wrap his arms up around his neck and hide in his shoulder. San felt his heart thunder back to life, his arms short circuiting when he lifted them because he couldn’t decide what he was allowed to do.

“It was Yeosang, on the stream. He was holding the camera for me because I was shaking so bad.” Wooyoung whispered, and San’s shoulders slumped just a little. He tentatively rested his hands on Wooyoung’s waist and stayed like that for a while, thumbs brushing lightly over Wooyoung’s shirt.

“...you didn’t have to tell me, I don’t think-”

“Just shut up and hold me.” 

San nodded and shuffled closer, arms wrapping Wooyoung up tight, his face tucking tight against the crook of his neck. And then his brows knit together, his eyes starting to water all over again, one of his hands sliding over top of Wooyoung’s head to keep him close. 

“I’m so sorry, Youngie.”  

“S’okay, I know you are.”  

Wooyoung didn’t like the way San’s sobs sounded, muffled by his shoulder and neck, but he did like the way San was holding him, like Wooyoung was the only thing keeping his body on the ground and if he let up his grip even a little , he’d float up and disappear.
“Let’s go to bed, hm?” Wooyoung whispered, and San nodded, quieting his sobs to bend and hoist Wooyoung up, making him giggle as he carried him away. “And I mean sleep .” Wooyoung whispered, feeling San nod beside him as he shouldered their bedroom door open. 

“...should we shower…? We’re all…” 

“Clubby?” Wooyoung smiled when San set him down, taking a few steps back and the older man nodded, leaning back to pull on his tie. “Well, I’ll go first.” Wooyoung nodded, and San nodded back, watching him cross the hall and shut the door over behind him. “Can you bring me something to wear?” He poked his head out of the door and San nodded sheepishly, moving to his closet to stare down at the piles of clothes all over the place. He really needed to clean his shit up. He bent to pick up a big t-shirt and a clean pair of sweatpants, both his own clothes but he wondered if Wooyoung would want that. 

“Wooyoungah, what do you wanna wear?” San called, looking over at the door, but the water was on so he must not have heard him. He swallowed the anxious feeling down and moved toward the bathroom, his own clothes in his fist and he leaned in, placing them on the bathroom sink. He was about to shut the door when Wooyoung spoke up again. 

“Sannah, can you bring me a towel, too?” Wooyoung called, and San hurried to the closet to grab him a towel, returning to put it on the sink. He tried leaving again, and Wooyoung sighed. “Sannah.” Wooyoung was standing under the water impatiently, but San hadn’t even so much as looked up at him. “Do you wanna get in with me?” Wooyoung asked the question like more of a statement, his arms crossed over his bare chest and San finally looked at him, his face red like it was the first time he’d ever seen him nude. 

“...yes, please.” San muttered, and Wooyoung waved him in, turning to find the shampoo he’d left there to start actually cleaning himself up. 

“Get yourself a towel and hurry up.” Wooyoung nodded, rubbing soap into his scalp and San did as he was told, snagging a towel and a set of fresh clothes before hurrying to the bathroom again. In all honesty, he was nervous . They’d only been apart a little under a week and San felt like he hadn’t seen him in forever. 

Probably something to do with all the overtime work he’d been pulling, but-

“Get in here, then. You’re letting all the warm air out.” Wooyoung snickered at him and San finally closed the bathroom door behind him, heart in his throat, clothes still on and he dropped his towel to undress himself. He had himself turned away from Wooyoung as if he wasn’t about to see him fully nude.

Clothes off, brain successfully turned to anxious soup, San made his way to the shower door and waited for Wooyoung to push it open for him, taking a tentative step inside once he was invited. Wooyoung was nervous, too, but visibly he kept himself under control, giving San a sweet smile across the steam as he shuffled back to make space for him. 

And then there was quiet, and distance, but it wasn’t so loud, and it didn’t feel so far. 

“Turn.” San pushed gently on Wooyoung’s shoulder and reached for his conditioner so he could run it through his hair. His roots had grown out again, the blonde underneath starting about an inch or so down the strands, and San focused his fingers there. Wooyoung leaned his head back a little, holding his hands out to pool water in his palms and try to get himself to calm, just a little bit. 

He missed this.

Once they were both substantially washed up and conditioned, San was about to turn the water off when Wooyoung stepped between him and the faucet, hair slicked back from San’s hands. 

“Can we stay a little longer? It’s nice in here.” Wooyoung asked, and San nodded without hesitation, waiting for Wooyoung to make a move before he did. Hands found his broad shoulders and San’s palms slid over his lower back, reeling each other in carefully to hug again like they had in the doorway. 

Except this time, Wooyoung offered his mouth and San took it, eagerly.

Everything was hotter and tighter than it had been outside the bathroom and San had a hand lower than he probably realized, fingers slipping over the curve of Wooyoung’s ass, pulling him so much closer than before. Wooyoung’s hands were tight on his shoulders and his mouth was moving carefully to keep up with San’s fragile kisses. It wasn’t anything deep; not until Wooyoung pushed his fingers through San’s wet hair at the back of his head and pulled him down, invading his mouth with his tongue and San gripped him just a little tighter, reeled him in a little closer. He squeezed his ass and pulled him apart and Wooyoung whined into San’s mouth, pushing his hips back until he felt fingers slip between his cheeks. 

“S’this okay?” San whispered, wet against Wooyoung’s lips and the younger nodded, surging forward to try and steal more kisses from him. He didn’t care what San did. All he wanted was the proximity, the closeness, the heat in San’s breath when his fingers slipped over his hole. 

“What’re you doing?” Wooyoung asked, a cocky playfulness to his tone that San picked up on immediately, his middle finger running teasingly against his entrance. 

“What’s it feel like I’m doing?” San smiled against Wooyoung’s nuzzling lips and pressed his finger inside, groaning over how tight it was.

“Feels like you’re tryna get me ready for your cock. Was that your master plan?” Wooyoung teased, watching San’s eyes flutter closed when he fucked a finger inside, helped along by the water and only that. “Get me all angry and then have real good makeup sex?” Wooyoung nuzzled their noses together and San smiled, eyes crossing to look at him. 

“Oh, you caught me.” San huffed, pushing the tip of his pointer finger against his hole, teasing him for a moment before pressing inside, and Wooyoung groaned, rutting his hips into San’s thigh. “But, in all honesty-” San readjusted him, tugging his knee up around his waist, then pressed both his fingers in deep and Wooyoung let his forehead plop onto San’s shoulder, gripping desperately to his back. “I haven’t… thought about it. I just missed you. Just you.” San murmured, feeling Wooyoung’s hole clench around the intrusion, then felt teeth on his collarbone, followed by a series of whiny kisses. He worked his fingers carefully, humming when Wooyoung’s whiny lips finally turned up to meet his own, a little redness around his eyes San wasn’t sure was there before. 

“Missed you too.” Wooyoung mumbled between kisses and pushed his fingers into San’s back when he started to push a third finger inside, his mouth stuck open in a gasp that San just kept kissing. 

“You like it?” San whispered, and Wooyoung nodded, their noses knocking together and San kissed the corner of his lips with a pleased little smile. “Looks like you do.” San hummed, letting Wooyoung try to climb him like a tree but he was stuck with one foot on the ground, the other digging into the back of his thigh. Soon enough, San was tugging his hand away, fingers slipping from him. “Come on.” San huffed, and Wooyoung hummed, letting his leg fall so he could make his way out of the water- But he stumbled, leg weak from being held up in that position and San caught him, hugging him from behind and Wooyoung giggled over the entire thing. “Was that part of your master plan? Trip and fall just to see if my dick’ll fall in? ” San scoffed, and Wooyoung laughed , cacking behind his hand while San opened the door to let them out. He got their towels, too, tossing Wooyoung’s over his head to muffle his giggles and rub his hair roughly.

“Ah! Easy!” Wooyoung whined, still bubbly as he took over the drying of his hair and San smiled, grabbing his own towel off the floor. Wooyoung finished drying himself and snatched a shirt from the counter, unsure if it was for him since it was San’s but he was going to wear it anyway, letting it drape over his body, collar already darkened with water from his damp hair. 

“What now?” San wondered, tucking his towel around his waist as makeshift pants and Wooyoung smirked at him, then picked the pants up and handed them over, watching San from under his lashes. “Oh, really?” San chuckled, but took the bottoms anyway, letting his towel drop to start pulling them on. 

And then Wooyoung smacked his ass and ran off, and both of them were laughing. 

“You little brat, get back here!” San laughed, wiggling the pants up over his ass, not bothering to tie the strings as he made his way into the bedroom where Wooyoung had slipped off to. San was almost embarrassed, watching Wooyoung collect the handful of his clothes that were balled up next to San’s pillow, chucking them over into the laundry basket. Since the real thing was there to replace San’s makeshift Wooyoungie , which had been nothing but a pile of sleep shirts that smelled like him and a big plushie he’d been tucking under his arm every night. “I- I don’t like sleeping alone.” San huffed, and Wooyoung shrugged, raising his brows. 

“I didn’t say anything.” He smiled knowingly and San sighed, moving over toward the bed to crawl over him, getting Wooyoung to lay back, scrambling up to the pillows with a cheeky grin. 

“I thought you said sleep .” San smiled, and Wooyoung squirmed, giddy , tucking his knees up to spread himself under San’s hips and the older man groaned, rocking his body down. 

“This isn’t sleep, Sannah.” Wooyoung whispered, cupping his cheeks in his fists and San just looked at him with a cute little pout. 

“Mm. You’re right, it isn’t.” San nodded, and Wooyoung giggled again, feeling one of his hands push up the expanse of his thigh, catching under his knee to push him up and stretch him out. Wooyoung’s hands stretched from fists into palms, cupping his jaw, fingers splayed to hold his head and San bent to kiss his nose. “Bedtime, honey.” San smiled, letting Wooyoung’s leg go to roll off to the side, grinning when Wooyoung followed after him. 

He ended up on his chest, chin resting in the softness of his pec, watching him, interested. Wooyoung looked like an excited puppy, eager to play and San had to shut his eyes, pushing a hand over his face. But, Wooyoung peeled it away, inching closer to land a kiss on his nose when his face was exposed. 

“Bedtime.” Wooyoung whispered over his lips, and San smiled, letting Wooyoung kiss him, in whatever way he wanted. And that was softly, one hand rested on his cheek, the other tucked underneath him to probably go numb at some point in the night. 

“Bedtime.” San repeated, and Wooyoung giggled, laying his head down on the pillow beside him. He rolled to follow him, facing him with a soft expression but Wooyoung had already closed his eyes, even if his smile grew when San pulled him close. 

“...bedtime.” Wooyoung’s voice was just above a whisper and San rolled him over, tucking him tight against his chest while Wooyoung tangled their legs together. 

“Definitely bedtime.” San murmured, kissing behind his ear to make Wooyoung squirm, and he ended up pushing his hips back against San’s crotch. 

“Mnn.” Wooyoung grunted, reaching back to pull his shirt up and expose his lower back, which San could see with the way the blanket was hardly over them. “Time for bed, I guess.” Wooyoung sighed, reaching even lower to tug at the meat of his ass, hiking his knee up to expose his hole and San groaned, forehead thumping against the back of Wooyoung’s head.

“Ngh- Stop that.” San whispered, his fingers digging into Wooyoung’s hip, then they unlatched to slide down the back of his thigh. 

“It’d be crazy if your dick just like, slipped in-”

“Wooyoungah!” San chuckled, pushing on his hip to get the angle right before he pushed his hips flush to Wooyoung’s ass, erection rubbing over his fingers where they’d been holding himself. 

“Sannah… ” Wooyoung’s voice mimicked San’s scolding, but there was a breathiness, a moan to it that made San’s breathing hitch. His hand turned and perfectly cupped San’s dick through his sweatpants, stroking him a few times before San pulled his wrist away, pinning it to the bed. “I always sleep better after an orgasm, honestly.” Wooyoung mumbled against the pillow, and San nodded, leaning back hurriedly to grab the bottle of lube he’d hidden in the end table next to the bed.

“Mnn, I was thinking the same thing.” San breathed, squirting some into his hand to warm it before bringing it down between them, sliding his fingers over Wooyoung’s hole. He gasped and rocked into it, and San had to slip inside, his middle finger pushing into him, rocking until it was all the way in to the hilt and then the curved it . 

“Sannah- Wait-” Wooyoung had rolled almost completely flat, face to the bed, knee hiked up so he could have easier access and San was over his back, finger flexing to fuck against his prostate. “Oh g- Hhh-” Wooyoung was drooling, and San smiled against his neck, giving him a few more sweet waves of pleasure before he removed his finger. “Honey, give it to me, please.” Wooyoung whimpered, and San hushed him with a kiss to the shell of his ear, pushing his sweatpants down to let his cock free, Wooyoung flinching when he felt it hit his ass, heavy and hot and fuck he needed that. “Please-”

“Shush, give me a second.”  

“Wait!”  

San stopped completely, leaning back off of him and Wooyoung rolled over, hurriedly pushing San onto his back before wiggling down between his legs. San sighed and wiped his hand on the bed to get the excess lube off. 

“Wooyoung, what are you doing?” San smiled, but Wooyoung was already kissing over his tummy, holding San’s shaft in his palm while he took his time to make his way there. 

“Nothin’.” Wooyoung whispered, sticking his tongue out to lick a thick stripe up the side of him, then rub the head of his cock against his tongue with a pleased little moan. San reached down to push his bangs back, then grip his hair at the back of his head to keep it out of the way for him, even though a few blonde pieces slipped from his fingers. 

“Just get it wet, nothing else.” San whispered, and Wooyoung felt his whole body tremble, taking the head of his cock into his mouth to tease it, tongue sliding underneath it to make him groan. “Ngh… S’been a while, you can’t play with it too much.” San whined, and Wooyoung smirked around his shaft before bobbing his head down, over and over until he hit the back of his throat and San had to fight himself not to buck up. Wooyoung swallowed down on him and made a sick noise with his throat, making San tremble, and he worried he’d cum too soon if he did that again- But Wooyoung was merciful and pulled off, tongue flicking over the head, tracing circles around it before leaving him with a wet kiss. “Come up here.” San hurried to pull him up and push him over his hips, reaching between them to take hold of himself. 

“Make me cum, Sannie- wanna cum for you-” Wooyoung was much more ruined than he’d been before he got between San’s legs, spit on his lip and San smacked his cock against his hole, watching Wooyoung’s eyes roll in his head before he plopped his forehead onto his shoulder. 

“I’ll make you cum, honey. You want it hard?” San breathed, pushing Wooyoung’s hips down a little, just so he could push the tip of his cock against his waiting hole and Wooyoung nodded, then lifted his head a little, just to bump their noses together. 

“However you want, I know you’ll do it right.” Wooyoung sniffled, brows knit together, eyes wet and San halted, pushing Wooyoung’s shoulder up so he could get a better look at him. “Please, Sannah, I need this.” Wooyoung pleaded, and San squinted at him, but the way his eyes rolled when San pushed his dick against him- 

“You okay, Youngah?” San whispered, and Wooyoung nodded, leaning back down, nuzzling the side of San’s face. 

“Course I am, San.”

“Good.” San kept going, understanding that Wooyoung’s tears were just… emotional release. He’d probably end up crying at some point, too, if he had to guess. He’d already made a fool of himself by the door, sobbing and sniveling on Wooyoung’s leg like some kind of whiny child. It was only a matter of time before he did it again. 

“Hurry-” Wooyoung whined, impatient, and San pushed down on Wooyoung’s thigh as he pushed his own hips up, getting his lover to meet him halfway and sink down onto his cock, splitting him slowly and Wooyoung sobbed, hugging San’s head in his arms, fingers winding in his hair. “Fuck me-”

“Shh, I got you.” San grunted and bucked his hips up, feeling Wooyoung relax a little, but he was still wound around San in every way imaginable. He gasped against his cheek when he thrust his hips again, trying to rock himself down but San seemed to have a way he wanted to do this, keeping a tight grip on his ass to keep him from moving too much. 

“Can I-?” Wooyoung leaned up a little and San halted his admittedly uneven pace, nodding up to him when Wooyoung balanced his palms on his chest. He straightened his spine out and rolled his hips back, then forward, fully seated on San’s cock and both of them groaned at the sensation. 

San’s fingers were bruising with how harshly they held his thighs, and Wooyoung’s own fingers were scraping over San’s chest, down to the middle of his torso where he finally found a good position and picked up his movements. He kept himself full but San’s cock was grinding deep inside him so perfectly, making his eyes water and his head rolled back before he finally lifted his hips and rocked right back down. He kept his pace like that, brutal, thorough, deep, just quick enough that San worried about his own stamina.

“Baby-” San couldn’t catch his breath, heels digging into the bed while he watched Wooyoung’s chest heave, pretty piercings glinting in the low light and he reached a hand up to hold one, gripping it between his fingers before splaying his whole palm over his chest. 

Wooyoung held over his hand with a whiny little sound, tightening his grip and San did the same, squeezing his chest and the younger let out a little sob again, pulling on his hand to get him to bring it up higher, up to his lips so he could take his thumb over his tongue, letting San’s fingers grip his face as he did so.

“Pretty thing, look at you-” San finally bucked his hips again and Wooyoung choked on a breath and the intrusion in his mouth, gasping around him for a breath before his pace stuttered to a stop and San’s picked up, hips smacking into Wooyoung’s ass to bounce him roughly. He ended up leaning down again, letting San’s hand circle around to the back of his hair, his hips keeping up that rough pace even when Wooyoung sobbed praises against his lips, foreheads knocked together. 

“S’good like that, keep- please, San-” His fingers dug into San’s shoulders, his tummy getting tight, his whole winding with intent to snap and San kept up like he asked him to, pushing his chin up to capture his open mouthed moans with messy, sideways kisses. “-harder-” Wooyoung slumped lower, face hiding in the crook of San’s neck as he got ruined from below, San’s grip unforgiving on his ass but that was what he needed . His noises got higher, quicker, then lower, his body tense and tight and San could feel it when he came, his sounds cutting off to be replaced with airy, short little gasps as he spasmed around his cock. “Cumming, daddy-”

“Fuck- Come on-” San let his eyes roll closed and he swallowed the moans that needed to come out, focused more on Wooyoung and his noises and pleasure than any of his own. He felt heat splatter and pool on his stomach and he felt Wooyoung’s body fight to keep its shape, knowing full well he just wanted to slump and relax- But San railing into him post orgasm felt too good, the pleasured buzzing in his brain still humming, his cock still hard because apparently, one was not going to be enough. “Shit-” San forced his hips down and bucked his own up roughly, chasing and catching his own orgasm in what felt like a rush, out of nowhere, his thighs shaking as he threw his head back with a groan. 

“Good boy, let me have it-” Wooyoung gasped, nipping at his throat, jaw, earlobe, rocking down when San couldn’t keep up a good pace but he could tell he still wanted to ride it out. His high pitched whines were music to Wooyoung’s ears and he grinned happily, smoothing his palm over San’s forehead to soothe him. 

“Oh f- fuck- Youngah-” San whined, hips stuttering before they finally halted and he relaxed into the bed, heels slipping across the sheets until his legs were relaxed, as well. He was whining on every breath, only getting louder when Wooyoung lifted his hips and pulled off of his cock with an audible wet noise. 

Wooyoung hushed him, shifting a little to lay on his chest and let his cock breathe , since it was coated in cum and still achingly hard. Wooyoung smiled and kissed his jaw, sliding his hand over his stomach to make him sigh and groan. San did nothing but kiss the top of his head, eyes unfocused, blinking slowly as he let himself come down. Wooyoung’s soothing hand was the main focus of his brain, feeling his palm slide across his abdomen, then down, cupping his balls to make him groan before he slipped his palm over his cock, collecting all the mess there. 

“Jesus, fuck. Easy-” San hissed, sensitive, but Wooyoung’s hand slipped down between his thighs and San’s eyes widened, hand flying to Wooyoung’s wrist when he felt him slide his fingers over his hole. “Are you crazy-”

“Can I?” Wooyoung had his chin resting on San’s shoulder and San just looked down at him, confused, but Wooyoung looked sincere enough…

“What are you asking?” San huffed, still trying to catch his breath and Wooyoung looked down, then back up, then his lip jut out and San felt his heart get run through with cupids fucking arrow. 

“Can I fuck you?” Wooyoung whispered his question, and San unlatched the grip he had on his wrist, but his thighs clamped together around his arm when he felt his fingers on his hole again. 

“S’fine but- get real lube-” San worried, and Wooyoung popped up, tearing his wrist free to lean over him and wipe his hand on the blankets. “And a condom I don’t know if I wanna deal with- you know.” San squirmed and Wooyoung opened the drawer to pull a condom from the barely used box they kept around just in case. When he leaned back, San looked concerned- Not scared, not upset, just… concerned. “Where do I… go.” San sat up a little but Wooyoung pushed him back down, leaning over him to twist him onto his side. And then he pushed his knee up and San felt very exposed.

“I’ll be so careful, Sannie.” Wooyoung whispered, planting a kiss behind his ear and San felt so fuzzy and warm, snatching his plushie just to have something to hold in his arms- not holding something felt wrong, borderline uncomfortable. “And, if you hate it, you tell me-” 

“I know, Youngie. M’not worried. I just don’t… know anything .” San trailed off, and Wooyoung smiled, already finished rolling the condom down over his own cock, stroking himself a couple of times to roll it down. 

“Well, lucky for you-” Wooyoung huffed, lubed fingers sliding over San’s hole and he hiked his knee up further, arms tightening around his shiba plush. “-I know exactly what I’m doing.” Wooyoung huffed, middle finger running over his entrance and San tensed, but Wooyoung kissed the back of his neck. “Sannah, relax for me, or I can’t fit .” Wooyoung whined, and San shuddered, letting out a heavy breath he’d been holding and Wooyoung fucked the tip of his finger past his rim. Wooyoung groaned and San made a delicious noise. Like a gurgle in the back of his throat, but Wooyoung wanted more of it, rocking his finger carefully, leaning up to kiss over his shoulder. He didn’t talk much, didn’t want to pressure San into responding, or thinking he needed to uphold some conversation while his ass got touched for the first time. He just put his focus on his fingers, and San’s noises, trying to tell when he hurt him or not but all of his breathing sounded tight and strained. “Relax, pretty boy.” Wooyoung hummed, nudging his cheek with his nose and San let out another breath he’d been holding tight in his chest. 

“It’s just weird-” San squirmed and Wooyoung nodded, bumping kisses along his cheekbone before leaning down to his shoulder again. He was careful, adding another finger slowly, but it was clear San felt it, his whole body tensing up, hiding his face in the plush between his arms. 

“It’ll only be weird at first, Sannah.” Wooyoung murmured, pushing his fingers further and before San could even whine, Wooyoung shifted his wrist and angled his fingers just right. San gasped and his body arched, pushing against Wooyoung’s hand and he grinned against his shoulder. “What, honey?” Wooyoung hummed, fingers fucking carefully, working him open while he focused on hitting that sweet spot inside him, the one that had San’s cock twitching dangerously against the sheets. “Is that good?” Wooyoung knew damn well it was good . San nodded, pulling his face away from fur to let out a gasp when Wooyoung started on a third finger, running it against his rim before edging inside. 

“Young-ah-” San’s voice cracked and Wooyoung bit his lip, third finger slipping in easily now that San wasn’t so tense, now that he realized getting fucked actually did feel good, and wooyoung hadn’t been faking it the entirety of his career. 

Well. He knew he’d not been faking it, but… he didn’t realize-

“Wooyoungah-” San reached back to pull at the meat of his ass and tug, spreading himself and he moaned over the way it felt, over the way Wooyoung’s hands managed to work him up so easily. 

“You want my cock, now?” Wooyoung asked, fingers rocking gently, and San just whined, then gasped when Wooyoung pulled his fingers out and finally opened his eyes. “If it hurts-”

“Give it to me.” San groaned, and Wooyoung raised his brows but he was pleasantly surprised, fully expecting San to have a little more caution when it came to the whole dick part of it. But, he’d lifted his ass a little and Wooyoung smiled, pushing on his hips to get him to bring his knees under him. 

“Up like this, it’ll be easier.” Wooyoung hummed, And San simply did as he was told, plush abandoned beside him and Wooyoung leaned back to look over him, hands sliding down the slope of his back to arch him downward. 

Wooyoung himself had never… done this . He had no clue if he’d even like it like he liked the toy San had used on him, but he wanted to try it. He looked over San’s body like it was some puzzle to be solved before leaning back to put a hand on his ass, then take his erection in his fist, running it over San’s entrance a few times, the condom slick from the lube he’d jerked over it. 

“Tell me, if it hurts.” Wooyoung leaned himself back, watching San nod and turn his face to the side, looking back at him momentarily before squeezing his eyes shut. “And relax .” Wooyoung sighed, pressing the head of his cock against his rim and he was a little shocked at the resistance . But San whimpered and he forced himself inside, watching San’s hips shake. He let out little gasping breaths the deeper Wooyoung went, and Wooyoung himself felt like he was losing his mind, a little. He was so tight. No toy could ever be that tight. He almost worried his dick would get caught like those fucking a/b/o fanfics he frequented. He pushed his hand over San’s ass and let out a whine of his own, then slid his hand up to his waist, looking so tiny underneath his palm and Wooyoung felt his head spin. “You’re so pretty, Sannah.” Wooyoung sighed, fucking his hips forward, San’s noises getting louder before he was flush against his ass and San was stuck trembling, cock jumping with every slide against his insides. 

“Youngie- Move, please move-” San whined, and Wooyoung nodded hurriedly, blinking through pleasured tears as he tried to get a handle on himself. 

“Yeah, will, just-” Wooyoung reeled his hips back a few inches and pressed back inside, both of them whimpering like they’d never experienced pleasure before. Wooyoung had no choice but to grip San’s waist with both hands, leaning down over him to rock his hips again, and San pushed his face into the pillows, feeling so fucking good as Wooyoung’s cock stuffed him full and brushed his prostate with every little movement. 

“Faster, youngie-” 

“M’trying, I- Fuck-”  

Wooyoung’s hips faltered but he upped his pace and he had his forehead resting on San’s back, right below his neck at the center of his spine. He fucked harshly into him, having to readjust his position several times until he found the right one, the one that made San’s breathing hitch, made him groan from deep in his chest and Wooyoung felt him tighten around his cock even more , somehow. 

“Sannie, s’tight, you’re really tight-” Wooyoung sobbed, falling to his hands, pushing them into the blankets on either side of San’s head. “God, feel so fucking good, how do you do this every time-” Wooyoung whined, but San was fully gone, drooling a wet patch onto the blanket under him, cock leaking onto the sheets and all he could do was moan . His muscles were weak and tense and contracting all at once and he hardly felt like could move, his pleasure building at a terrifyingly rapid pace. 

“M’gonna cum, Youngie- just from you, m’gonna cum from your cock-” San babbled and Wooyoung felt his heart squeeze, one hand slipping between San and the blankets to push over his chest and pinch his nipple. “Wooyoung!” The way San spasmed around him was incredible, his head raising from the blankets just so he could gasp and let out a disgustingly beautiful moan, shooting his load onto the bed below him as Wooyoung forced the most incredible orgasm from him. The pleasure came from something so deep inside him and he couldn’t even think of anything but how good he felt, how white hot his body had gotten in such a short period of time. “Wooyoungah, Youngie, there, don’t stop-” San panted, twisting just so he could watch his own cum leak onto the sheets, untouched . “Pleasedon’tstop-”

“Fuck, fuck-” Wooyoung sobbed, fingers bunched in the sheets as he tried to fuck San and himself through their orgasms, but he was almost failing, thrusts uneven and shallow and he dug his teeth into San’s shoulder, drooling onto his skin with a deep groan. He filled the condom and felt it squeeze out around the base, his body getting weaker the longer he tried to hold out. But he halted when he felt a hand in his hair and he let go of San’s shoulder, deep purple bruises already forming where his teeth had dug in. “Oh, s- m’sorry…” Wooyoung huffed, his hands unlatching from the sheets to help him lean up and pull his hips back. He was so sensitive- it almost hurt, but he sat back and helped San lay on his side, hurrying to pull his condom off as soon as he could. “Jesus christ.” Wooyoung panted, and San surprisingly leaned up, turning fully to pull Wooyoung into his arms. 

“So good, baby.” San praised, and Wooyoung let his cheek squish into his shoulder, arms weakly sliding around his waist to hold onto him. 

“No, you’re so good.” Wooyoung hummed, stroking his spine gently, completely spent all of a sudden, back sore . “I feel like I got hit by a bus. Why do you do this?” Wooyoung groaned, and San chuckled, flopping onto his back. 

“I could ask you the same question.” San chuckled, his own eyes falling closed before he even had Wooyoung all the way in his arms, both of them struggling to get the blankets up over themselves. 

“Shouldn’t we, like, clean up… or…” Wooyoung yawned and San huffed at him, then flopped over onto his chest to effectively crush him. “No?”

“No. Tomorrow, maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe.”

𖤓 ‧ ˚.

San was the first to wake, that next morning. He’d almost forgotten that Wooyoung was really back, and it wasn’t just a dream he’d had. 

He watched him rest, through the sunlight streaming stripes over his pretty face, hair mussed but he still looked just perfect . He reached to carefully push his hair back, gently shifting his bangs to the side so they weren’t blocking his features, and he sighed, hand sliding softly over his cheek. He watched the way his gold band winked under the sun and he stopped, looking down at Wooyoung’s hands, loose and relaxed in front of him, but the finger that usually held his own ring was bare. 

“...” San pulled his own off, wrestling with it for a second since it was a little tight, but it popped right off and he carefully pushed it over Wooyoung’s pointer, watching it settle there snugly, like that was where it really belonged. 

He’d let him borrow it, for now. Until he went to get his own and came back with it, for good . 

San would have to ask him to move in, officially. It was really a little outrageous he hadn’t asked, yet. Or proposed. There were a lot of things he needed to do. 

So, he started with breakfast. 

‧₊ 𖤓 ˚.

Wooyoung was the second to wake, bacon and bread filling his nose the second he popped his eyes open and he sat up, woozy, body aching, but he blinked and realized he was back home, again. Home . 

He looked down at his finger and smiled, plopping back to the bed with a happy little huff, clutching his hand to his chest. 

He’d have to ask San if he could move in, officially. He wasn’t sure why he’d even bothered making San the one that had to ask everything. Maybe he’d even ask him to marry him, take the pressure off San’s shoulders. 

He had enough going on with work, Wooyoung could take this little bit of stress off his hands.

He spun the ring on his finger with a smile, eyes peeking up at the door when it cracked open. The breakfast smell got stronger, and his smile got wider when San came into view. 

“Morning, honey.”

‧₊˚. 𖤓