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The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Chapter 2

Summary:

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said, wagging a finger in her face. Renna swallowed the crazy desire to bite the finger clean from his hand. “Though it is true I want to die, my work is not yet finished. Besides, if you kill me now, who will return you to your proper body?”

Renna’s scowl deepened but her fists loosened at her sides. When she did not respond, the Ascian brought one black gloved finger up to his mouth and tapped his lips pensively.

“Speaking of… What do you think your friends will do when my lord arrives as you?” A manic grin spread across his face as he looked down at her with his black, taunting eyes. “Do you think they’ll realize it’s not you before it’s too late? Or will they embrace him as a beloved friend just before he cuts them down?”

Every muscle in Renna’s borrowed body tightened, blood draining from her face as she realized the true scope of Zenos’ plan. She glanced to where his body lay motionless on the floor. All she wanted was to see his blood pooled around him, his face caved in and crushed by her hand. But there was no time - she had to escape; she had to save her friends.

Notes:

I apologize for just how long it took to get this out. Real life has gotten in the way and this chapter (and the next one too, honestly) was incredibly difficult to write/edit. As always, though, I hope you enjoy and I appreciate any critiques on my writing! I really want to improve.

Chapter Text

The frigidity of the room bled into Renna's bones as she gaped at the empty throne.

For her entire life, she had nursed her hatred for Zenos, sharpening it to a razor's edge so that she might finally exact her revenge for all he'd done to her. The disappearance and eventual death of her father, the torture and enslavement of her mother and her people - Zenos and his family were responsible for it all. But the last time they'd met, he had robbed her of the satisfaction of killing him, leaving her numb and unfulfilled.

Renna had floated through life since then. So many responsibilities lay on her shoulders that she'd had no time to grieve what she'd lost. Instead she bottled it up, secure in the knowledge that, at the very least, Zenos could never hurt her or her friends again.

But now… Now everything was much, much worse.

The boiling rage that fueled her earlier evaporated. She felt frozen in time, her eyes wide with the last moments before he disappeared replaying repeatedly in her mind: the way her shoulders squared into his familiar, haughty posture; the way he wore her body as though it was just a set of clothes; how he spoke with her voice, curling her lips into that all too familiar smirk.

The way her emerald eyes leered at her with the pleasure of victory.

Her blood ran cold and the heavy beat of her heart throbbed in her head like a wardrum. No… not her heart. The rhythm felt foreign in her chest and the room began to spin. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening! she wailed, hot bile rising in her throat as she fell to her knees, retching.

“My, my, you are making quite the mess, and after I worked so hard to arrange this lovely dinner for you both.”

Overwhelmed by the theft of her body, Renna had forgotten that Fandaniel was still there. The crazed Ascian scrutinized her with his hands on his hips like a disappointed parent scolding their unruly child. Scowling, she curled her fingers into tight fists. If she could not fight Zenos, she was perfectly happy to kill Fandaniel instead.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said, wagging a finger in her face. Renna swallowed the crazy desire to bite the finger clean from his hand. “Though it is true I want to die, my work is not yet finished. Besides, if you kill me now, who will return you to your proper body?”

Renna’s scowl deepened but her fists loosened at her sides. When she did not respond, the Ascian brought one black gloved finger up to his mouth and tapped his lips pensively.

“Speaking of… What do you think your friends will do when my lord arrives as you?” A manic grin spread across his face as he looked down at her with his black, taunting eyes. “Do you think they’ll realize it’s not you before it’s too late? Or will they embrace him as a beloved friend just before he cuts them down?”

Every muscle in Renna’s borrowed body tightened, blood draining from her face as she realized the true scope of Zenos’ plan. She glanced to where his body lay motionless on the floor. All she wanted was to see his blood pooled around him, his face caved in and crushed by her hand. But there was no time - she had to escape; she had to save her friends.

“Best be getting on now, don’t you think?" whispered Fandaniel in her ear. Her heart launched to her throat as she jumped. He flitted away casually with a sharp laugh, and, snapping his fingers, opened a portal. "If you hurry, you may just reach them in time to save them.” His eager, cartoon-like grin returned as he gave a dramatic bow. “You can thank me later for my generosity.”

Renna stared into the dark, swirling vortex apprehensively. She imagined herself stepping through it, flying through ice and snow to reach her friends or Zenos and… then what? As she looked down at the thick gloved hands of the body she inhabited, she only one thought crossed her mind. Clumsy. Weak. This body wouldn’t last more than a second against her own.

Whence rises one's true strength?

Zenos' voice echoed through her mind. Damn him. Damn him and Fandaniel and their fucking plans to bring back the Final Days. Renna would've laughed if the situation weren't so dire. Instead, she squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists hard enough that the leather gloves squeaked.

The consequences of not indulging Zenos in his insanity were clear as day now. She saw the Scions bloodied and broken, their corpses littered about Camp Broken Glass as their friend, their hero, crunched through crimson stained snow. She saw the Garlean refugees fleeing into the frozen wilderness of their homeland as they tried to escape "the savage’s" wrath.

What was she supposed to do?

Her eyes snapped open and landed on the corpse Zenos left behind. She remembered his eyes glowing red on black, the way the aether in the air shifted for just a moment, and her mind raced furiously. Zenos had used the Resonant to transfer his soul to her body. It was just an artificial Echo - surely she could access that power too? But how?

Still standing by the open portal, Fandaniel crossed his arms and began tapping his foot impatiently. “Really, if we don’t leave now we are going to miss all the excitement!”

“Not yet,” Renna replied. She knew - or, rather, hoped - that Zenos would wait for her to catch up. He wanted a fight, wanted her desperate and angry and scared enough that she would bring her all to bear against him. He would wait for her.

She knelt next to him with a sneer. His golden hair fanned out against the metal floor the same way his lashes fanned across his cheeks, both gleaming in the dim light. She was closer to him now than she had been when he died, and suddenly the situation at hand seemed far away. It would be so easy for her to just… kill him now. Surely there were other ways to return to her body. And maybe, if she did enough damage, Fandaniel wouldn't be able to put him back.

But even as she readied to strike, she hesitated. Her eyes strayed to the white scar across his neck, the skin slightly mangled around the edges. Most would never see even see it. Yet, up close like this, it was all she could look at.

The evidence of her failure and his ecstasy.

Get it together, you idiot, your friends are in danger! You don't have time for this! Renna thought as she pulled her hand away, angrily reminding herself that she was staring at a corpse.

She ripped the gloves off her hands and kept her eyes trained on Zenos. Even though she had no clue what she was doing, and the possibility that this crazy idea wasn't even going to work unnerved her, she knew she had to try.

Renna reached for his hand.

Whatever she had expected to happen did not prepare her for the reality. From the moment her skin brushed his, her aether swirled into a tempest of energy that thrashed desperately against the cage of her borrowed body. It forced her to her knees.

Then, as a reservoir bursts forth from a dam, her soul surged into Zenos. Blood twisted to ice in her veins and quickly grew numb - her heart swelled with the crescendo of a sprint, pounding against her ribs - every part of her screamed in agony this is wrong this shouldn't be happening what the hell am I doing this is a mistake you have to stop pullyourhandaway!

But death had frozen her fingers in an iron grip and there was no stopping now.