Work Text:
Felix: evening, darling
Marinette: I told you not to call me that
Felix: why ever not?
Marinette: isn’t it obvious?
Felix: not to me, clearly
Marinette: or you just prefer to ignore the facts
Felix: you know me too well
Marinette: unfortunately
Felix: oh, I find it very fortunate
Felix: almost if someone organized things specifically for you to get to know me better
Marinette: was that your goal all along?
Marinette: like
Marinette: really?
Felix: :)
Marinette: that’s not an answer!
Felix: you already answered yourself
Felix: and as long as we already clarified that you know me quite well, I don’t find it necessary to question your judgment
Marinette: oh that’s how you started talking now?!
Marinette: so
Marinette: were all your pranks in class just to attract my attention then?
Marinette: make me get involved
Marinette: learn all your habits
Marinette: is this what you were trying to achieve?
Felix: yes
Marinette: I have no words
Marinette: honestly
Marinette: what kind of person even does that?
Felix: you know the answer
Marinette: right
Marinette: so now what?
Marinette: cause I’m honestly tired to play your games and be the one to keep the class calm
Marinette: or at least sane
Felix: come on, darling
Felix: it never was that bad
Marinette: NEVER WAS THAT BAD???
Marinette: you know what?
Marinette: I won’t even argue with you
Marinette: it’s useless anyway
Marinette: I know that for sure
Marinette: I’m just so damn tired of this role
Marinette: class rep, to whom everyone runs so that I can save them from the evil and treacherous Felix Fathom
Felix: am I?
Marinette: are you what?
Felix: evil and treacherous
Marinette: people think you are
Felix: what do you think I am?
Marinette: attentive
Marinette: thoughtful
Marinette: visionary
Marinette: manipulative
Marinette: dangerous
Marinette: should I continue?
Felix: if you wish so
Felix: but I think it will only confirm what we already know
Felix: so I would prefer to move on to phase two of our relationship
Marinette: do we have a relationship?
Felix: of course we do, darling
Marinette: I just told you not to
Marinette: you know what
Marinette: call me whatever you want
Marinette: I’m too tired to care
Felix: I knew that you actually liked my endearments
Marinette: I never said that!
Marinette: agh
Marinette: whatever
Marinette: why did you even text me?
Marinette: to make me angry again?
Marinette: today you won’t be able to do it
Marinette: I already said
Marinette: I’m too tired of this war
Felix: I was waiting for it
Marinette: for what?
Marinette: for me to get tired?
Marinette: what’s your catch?
Felix: you finally stopped looking where the performance was going on and began to see the magician himself, who was directing your attention
Felix: without it we couldn’t move on to the second phase
Marinette: let me get this straight
Marinette: you transferred to my class and tormented my classmates with pranks for months to attract my attention, and all this time you waited until I stopped fighting with you, protecting my friends and saw that there was some other goal behind your pranks, which, in turn, was for me to get to know you better?
Felix: exactly like that
Felix: the whole show was just for you
Felix: so that you stop seeing the show and see me behind it
Felix: and now you see me
Felix: and you know me
Felix: as much as I wanted you to
Marinette: honestly
Marinette: this sounds so absurd I can’t even get angry
Marinette: if you wanted me to know you better, why couldn’t you be like other people and just tell me about yourself what you wanted me to know?
Marinette: it would save time for me, for you, and all our classmates
Felix: you know why
Marinette: right
Marinette: because it’s you
Marinette: and this is how you think and act
Marinette: otherwise your life is boring
Felix: it seems you know me even better than I thought
Marinette: ha!
Marinette: now I feel like I passed a difficult level in the game with a maximum score and should receive some kind of bonus
Felix: and you’ll get it
Marinette: right
Marinette: the bonus from you will look like a prank of a particularly large scale
Marinette: so thanks but no thanks
Felix: you forgot that the show is already over
Marinette: what, completely?
Marinette: and now you’ll stop pranking my classmates?
Felix: yes
Marinette: and sabotage class events?
Felix: yes
Marinette: and argue with me at every opportunity?
Felix: yes
Marinette: really?
Felix: really
Marinette: so you really arranged all this just so that I would understand
Marinette: I don’t even know what I was supposed to understand and whether I understood it
Felix: you did
Marinette: pffff
Marinette: and what then is phase two of this, whatever it is?
Felix: our relationship
Marinette: we don’t have any relationship and you know it!
Felix: or we have a relationship and everyone knows about it except you
Marinette: what???
Marinette: no one can know about our relationship, because we don’t have one!
Felix: are you sure?
Marinette: YES!
Felix: then tell me
Felix: who does Miss Bustier ask what happened when I’m not at school?
Marinette: me
Marinette: but it means nothing because I’m a class rep
Felix: right then
Felix: who do you think she asks what happened when it’s you who are not at school?
Marinette: don’t tell me she asks you!
Felix: ok, I won’t
Felix: but she does
Marinette: and why would she do that?
Marinette: there’s Alya
Marinette: and my other close friends
Felix: and which of your classmates do you spend the most time with at school?
Marinette: damn it!
Marinette: the fact that I spend a lot of time with you doesn’t count, because all this time we argue, or I deal with your pranks!
Felix: that doesn’t change the fact
Felix: you wanted to rely on the facts, didn’t you?
Marinette: fine!
Marinette: but that doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship!
Felix: ok
Felix: then tell me, who brought me my homework when I was sick?
Marinette: ha!
Marinette: again
Marinette: class rep
Marinette: doesn’t count!
Felix: and who do they give the things you forgot at school or your homework when you’re sick?
Marinette: you
Marinette: but you probably volunteer to do it yourself
Marinette: just to annoy me more!
Felix: I do no such thing
Marinette: well ok
Marinette: maybe Miss Bustier for some reason thinks that we are in a relationship
Marinette: but it’s just her, and that doesn’t prove anything either!
Felix: only her?
Felix: ok
Felix: tell me, has anyone invited you to dance at school parties in the last, say, year?
Felix: except me, of course
Marinette: no
Marinette: but that doesn’t mean that they think I’m off market
Marinette: maybe no one just finds me attractive
Felix: do you really think that the looks that half the school follows you with are purely friendly in nature?
Marinette: I don’t know
Marinette: then why doesn’t anyone ask me out or something?
Felix: it’s simple
Felix: because you’re in a relationship
Felix: and everyone knows about it
Marinette: I AM NOT!
Felix: just because you didn’t notice that we started dating doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, my dear
Marinette: we are not dating!!!
Felix: what would you then call, for instance, our recent trip to that little Italian restaurant?
Marinette: it wasn’t a date!
Marinette: we were arguing
Marinette: or rather
Marinette: I was explaining to you why you shouldn’t have send false information to our classmates
Marinette: and you told me that you didn’t have time to talk about it at school
Marinette: and that you will come at 7 and then we’ll talk
Felix: and?
Marinette: and when you walked into the bakery and asked me to join you in your car, I just thought that you didn’t want me to scold you in front of people and that we’d talk in the car
Marinette: it’s not my fault that you brought me to the restaurant!
Felix: you were wearing that nice burgundy dress with oriental patterns and your hair was down
Felix: and you looked absolutely stunning
Felix: one of my favorite memories this month
Marinette: but it wasn’t a date anyway!!!
Marinette: and I didn’t put on the dress for you
Marinette: but just because!
Marinette: I like that dress, so I put it on!
Felix: I like it on you too
Marinette: I
Marinette: you won’t be able to distract me from the topic with your compliments!
Felix: I wouldn’t dare
Felix: I like the topic
Felix: it’s a transition to the phase two, after all
Marinette: why am I absolutely sure that there is a smug grin on your face right now?
Felix: because you know me too well, my dear
Felix: I think we already mentioned it today
Marinette: whatever
Marinette: anyway
Marinette: just because we once talked over dinner at a restaurant instead of a bakery and it may have looked like a date doesn’t mean we’re dating
Felix: then what about that time we went to the cinema?
Marinette: you said that we were gonna choose a film for a joint trip with the class and you wanted to check that it was worth it!!!
Felix: and we watched it together, just you and me
Marinette: because it was the first time you decided to do something nice for the class and I had to make sure it wasn’t another prank!
Felix: and that’s why you held my hand
Marinette: I WAS SCARED!!!
Marinette: you probably chose that movie on purpose to scare me!
Felix: it was a comedy
Marinette: in the form of a horror movie!!
Felix: but a comedy nevertheless
Marinette: fine!
Marinette: it did look like a date too!
Marinette: but it doesn’t count as an actual date either!
Felix: correct me if I’m wrong, darling, but when a guy asks a girl to a movie and she agrees to go with him, it’s usually called a date
Marinette: but not in our case!
Felix: sure
Felix: and what about the second time?
Marinette: we went with the whole class!!!
Marinette: so definitely not a date!
Felix: and that’s why I picked you up at your house and we went to the cinema together?
Marinette: we had tickets for everyone!!
Felix: and sat together
Marinette: so what?!
Marinette: the rest were also sitting somewhere nearby!
Felix: and you held my hand again
Marinette: it was still a scary comedy!!!
Felix: and then I took you home
Marinette: you also brought Rose and Julika along the way
Felix: but I brought you home last, although the bakery was the first on the way
Marinette: I don’t know on what basis your driver chooses the route!
Felix: and you kissed me at the door when I walked you home
Marinette: on the cheek!
Marinette: I kissed you (on the cheek!!!) because you organized a class trip to the cinema, and although I was more scared than laughing, everyone really liked the movie and I wanted to express that I’m glad that it didn’t turn out to be one of your pranks!
Felix: darling, I wasn’t sure of the extent of your denial, but you can’t ignore the obvious
Marinette: we. are. not. dating!
Felix: ok
Felix: what does your best friend call me when you talk about me?
Marinette: ‘your boyfriend’
Marinette: but it doesn’t mean anything because she says it jokingly
Marinnette: I spend too much time with you and she teases me like that!
Felix: and that’s why we went on a double date with her and her boyfriend yesterday?
Marinette: it wasn’t a double date!
Marinette: Alya said that you are better versed in technology than she is, so you can help Nino choose these new headphones better
Felix: and why were you there?
Marinette: to keep Alya company, of course!
Marinette: so that she doesn’t get bored while you choose them
Felix: and then the four of us went to a cafe together
Marinette: well, it was lunch time, so
Felix: and then we went for a walk in the park, again, together
Marinette: the weather was good!
Felix: and then I took you home and you kissed me at the door once more
Marinette: again, on the cheek!
Marinette: and only because you helped my friend!!!
Marinette: oh
Marinette: my
Marinette: god
Marinette: we’re actually dating
Marinette: and everyone knows about it
Marinette: except me
Felix: why now?
Marinette: what do you mean why now?
Felix: well, you seemed to have a perfect excuse to everything we did together to prove that we are not a couple
Marinette: but we are, aren’t we?
Felix: definitely
Felix: and yet?
Felix: what gave it away?
Marinette: you’ll laugh at me
Felix: never
Marinette: promise?
Felix: I promise
Marinette: I didn’t want to kiss you on the cheek yesterday when you brought me back from our double date
Marinette: I wanted to kiss you for real
Felix: that’s what I thought
Felix: felt
Felix: when you were looking at me before leaving
Marinette: why didn’t you kiss me then?
Felix: you see, my dear
Felix: I couldn’t move on to the second phase until you realized the first one
Marinette: you are the most irritating man in the whole world, you know that, right?!
Felix: pretty much
Marinette: but you’ve promised not to prank our classmates anymore
Felix: I did
Marinette: why do I believe you?
Felix: because I’m your boyfriend?
Marinette: god, you can’t say it like that!!!
Marinette: and I can’t believe Alya knew it before I did!!!
Marinette: does my mother know???
Felix: I usually text her if we’re returning later than planned
Marinette: you have my mother’s number???
Felix: she gave it to me before our first date
Marinette: the one that was in the Italian restaurant?
Felix: no
Felix: that was the fourth one
Marinette: do I even want to know which ones were the first three?
Felix: you can ask your friend
Felix: I’m sure she’ll be happy to tell you
Marinette: not a chance!
Marinette: Alya will eat me alive if she realizes that I didn’t know that I was dating you!
Marinette: does your mother know, too?
Felix: let me see
Felix: she found some minor but very convincing excuse to exchange numbers with you the first time you stepped on the threshold of my house
Felix: she often compliments you, supports you like an old friend and tells you that her son never brings girls home, except you, of course
Felix: she texts to you regularly and periodically invites you to fashionable youth buffets and fashion shows, but instead of models she discusses with you how I surprised her with my logic when I was five and how that cute yellow suit looked on me when I was about three?
Marinette: the suit was blue
Marinette: but you pretty much nailed the rest
Marinette: oh my god, even your mother knows we’re dating…
Marinette: how could I miss it...
Felix: you didn’t miss anything, darling
Felix: you were always there, with me
Marinette: I was, wasn’t I?
Felix: every second of every day
Marinette: thank you
Felix: for what?
Marinette: that you told me that we were dating before we got married
Felix: I
Felix: actually had some plans about that phase, too
Marinette: you didn’t!
Felix: I did
Marinette: Felix Fathom!
Marinette: If you plan our wedding and marry me without my knowledge, I swear I will divorce you!!!
Felix: you won’t
Marinette: how do you know?!
Felix: because you are the one who will have to say “I do”
Felix: unless you gave me your written consent in advance, then I could start organizing the details...
Marinette: don’t you dare!
Felix: I’m madly in love with you, Marinette
Felix: there is no way I’d do something to hurt you
Marinette: good
Marinette: cause I want to plan the wedding myself
Felix: are you proposing to me, Miss Dupain-Cheng?
Marinette: ha!
Marinette: maybe I am!
Marinette: sounds better than finding out that my wedding took place without my knowledge
Felix: well I can’t say “yes” before I know you return my feelings
Marinette: goodness, Felix
Marinette: I just found out that I was in a relationship with you, what, for months?
Marinette: you probably knew I fell for you way before I knew it myself
Felix: the important part is that you know it too
Marinette: I do
Marinette: hey!!!
Marinette: that wasn’t written consent for the wedding!!!
Marinette: it was just about the fact that I’m stupidly in love with you!!!
Marinette: don’t you dare use it otherwise!!!
Felix: would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow, Marinette?
Marinette: like a date?
Felix: like a date
Marinette: I really would
Marinette: but only if you promise to take me home later
Marinette: and walk me to my door
Marinette: and kiss me before leaving
Marinette: for real
Felix: I promise
Felix: but I’m afraid it won’t be our first kiss
Marinette: why?
Marinette: DID I MISS OUR FIRST KISS TOO???
Felix: you didn’t
Felix: but it can’t wait until tomorrow
Felix: I’ll be in the bakery in a few minutes
Felix: just to discuss the class’s next trip to the cinema, of course
Marinette: idiot
Marinette: I’m putting on the burgundy dress
Felix: mmm
Felix: nice choice
Marinette: I’ll be downstairs in a couple of minutes
Felix: I’ll be there, my dear
Felix: today, and always