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The first thing that Ed sees when he wakes up is Stede’s smiling face, and that’s a sight he could fuckin’ get used to. Those hazel eyes are still slightly hooded with drowsiness, and faint pink lines on his cheek mark the places where his pillow had left creases on his skin just minutes before. There’s none of the tension and worry that Stede usually carries on his shoulders, especially since their reunion. He looks happy, and that makes Ed happy, too.
“Good morning,” Stede murmurs when he notices Ed stirring. “Fancy meeting you here.”
Ed goes to wrap an arm around Stede’s waist to pull him closer, wanting to hold him close and bury his nose in the warmth of Stede’s neck, but he hesitates at the last minute. This is still so new for them, so uncertain, and he isn’t sure what kind of touches are allowed now that they’re on the other side of last night. What kind of touches are wanted.
Stede saves him all the worrying and scoots in of his own accord, pulling Ed’s arm across his middle. They’re both naked, having fallen asleep together last night after making love for the first time. Or maybe Ed should call it fucking; not much that had happened last night could really be classified as romantic, after what had happened with Low. It had been all frantic touches and desperate distraction, both of them eager to get lost in the thrill of firsts and forget the painful realities of the life they’ve only just started together.
He must be frowning, because Stede’s own smile falls as he looks across the pillow at Ed. “What’s the matter? Are you—I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Nah, mate, didn’t hurt at all,” Ed fibs. In truth, he is a little sore, but no more than he’s supposed to be considering what they’d gotten up to the night before. Stede had been nervous enough about the unfamiliar territory to take his time as he fingered Ed open, in spite of the frenzied nature of the encounter as a whole. And by the time he got his cock inside Ed, well, Ed had begged him for everything he got. He’s proud of the soreness between his thighs now. It was a reminder of a night well-spent.
Stede still looks worried, the hand he has resting on Ed’s forearm gripping him tight. “I crossed a line, didn’t I? You told me you wanted to take things slow, and I—”
“Stop,” Ed says, and Stede’s mouth snaps shut at once with an audible click of his teeth. “See? I know how to say it and you know how to hear it. If I hadn’t wanted to do what we did, we wouldn’t have done it.”
That does seem to ease a little of Stede’s anxiety, though he’s still holding on to Ed tightly like he’s afraid at any moment Ed will up and leave. “Okay, that’s good. I don’t ever want to hurt you again.”
“I know, love, I know you don’t.” Ed moves in for a kiss, morning breath and all, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of the way their lips feel moving together. “Look at us, fuckin’ talking about shit instead of panicking. We’re so good at stuff.”
Stede’s smile returns at last, soft and fond. “And everyone makes fun of me when I say it’s best to talk it through as a crew. I’ll be sure to bring up this example next time.”
“I’m sure they’ll love the reminder that their captains are banging,” Ed snickers. He scoots them around a little until Stede is on his back and Ed can lay his head on Stede’s chest. He’s face to face with the burn where Low had branded him, even as he feels the matching one throbbing on his own skin. Not quite the matching tattoos he’d imagined for the two of them, but significant nonetheless. “We haven’t talked about the other stuff yet,” he murmurs after a pause.
There’s a pause in the gentle stroking at Ed’s back, Stede’s fingers stilling at the words. “No, I suppose we haven’t. Do we have to?”
“I mean, we could try the Frenchie method, put all the bad stuff in a box and pretend it never happened. Hasn’t gotten us far in life, though.”
“No, it hasn’t,” Stede sighs heavily. His fingers tap a thoughtful rhythm on Ed’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for not listening when you warned me not to do what I did. I know that you’re… more experienced in these matters than I am, and it would have been wise of me to defer to you, in that moment.”
“Just because I’ve led a more fucked up life than you doesn’t mean you have to listen to me,” Ed answers, pressing a kiss to the part of Stede that happens to be closest to his mouth, just above Stede’s nipple. He’s almost tempted to distraction by the little noise Stede makes in the back of his throat, but he remains strong. Barely. “You don’t have to apologize for that. You heard me, you just… fuckin’ made a different choice. I won’t hold that against you.”
“It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Perhaps my methods were a bit dramatic and cruel, but I couldn’t let him live, Ed.”
“Why not? No judgement,” Ed hurries to add.
There’s a long pause, and Ed can hear Stede’s heartbeat speed up in his chest. “I was afraid.”
“He was bound, and outnumbered. And I wouldn’t have let that fucker hurt you. Not again.” Ed moves his hand to cover the burn mark on Stede’s chest.
“We’ve been in tighter situations than that before and managed to get free,” Stede points out. “You never know when circumstances might change in the blink of an eye, and if he’d been able to, he would have hurt one of us. Not could, but would.” His arms go tight around Ed once more. “I couldn’t stand the thought of it. You, or any of the crew, I can’t stand the idea of any harm befalling you because I failed to act. I wasn’t even thinking of myself, if you can believe it.”
“Of course I can believe it. I don’t just keep you around for your pretty face and your nice dick, you know. It’s your heart that’s my favorite part of you.”
He can hear the smile in Stede’s voice, even if he’s not looking at his face. “Now you’re just sweet-talking me. Aiming for a round two, are you?”
“Is it working?” Ed teases back, shifting his hips a little further from Stede as his dick gives a twitch of interest. No distractions, it’s talky-talky time. “It’s true, though. I know you were doing what you thought was best for the crew. I was only worried about what it would do to you. I don’t want you to still be haunted by the shit you did thirty years from now like I am.”
"I think now, in the clear light of day, if I had to make the choice over again... I think I would choose the same. I wish it hadn't come to that, but it did, and I made the best choice I could in those circumstances. I stand by that choice."
"Good. Never let anyone make you regret choices you stand behind," Ed says, nodding solemnly. "Sometimes you gotta follow your heart and like, commit a murder, or sleep with the guy you just said you were taking it slow with. No regrets."
"You're sure?" Stede asks quietly, lifting Ed's chin so their eyes meet. "No regrets about that second one?"
"Nah," Ed tells him, easy as can be, because it's the truth. "As it turns out, the fast track was pretty fuckin' good. I liked taking it fast. We should probably take it fast a few more times, just to make sure we like it, but honestly I'm pretty fuckin' in favor of it."
Stede grins like he's about to agree and maybe start speeding things up again, but their conversation is interrupted by a fearsome growl of Stede's stomach. "Oh, dear. I suppose we never did get around to enjoying the feast in honor of Calypso's birthday, did we?"
"Fuckin' Low," Ed sighs, dipping his head to kiss at Stede's belly before pushing himself up off of the bed and helping himself to one of Stede's robes. "You stay here, I'll fix us some brekkie."
"You don't have to--"
"I've got some other shit to take care of, need to get up anyways. And when I come back," continues Ed, "you can pretend to be all surprised and properly seduced and give me an enthusiastic thank you." This time, his kiss is for Stede's lips. "Sound like an okay plan to you?"
"Sounds like an excellent plan," breathes Stede, relaxing back against the pillows. "Hurry back."
"Won't have time to miss me."