Chapter Text
(Y/N) paced worriedly as they waited for Bones to finish checking over Spock and the strange puncture wound the creature gave him. They were worried it was going to control him like it did the inhabitants of Deneva. And then they would lose him. They couldn’t lose him. So far, all (Y/N) could sense from Bones and Chapel in the Sickbay was concern. That wasn’t very encouraging.
Finally, finally, finally, Bones walked out holding a sealed beaker with a strange thing floating inside it.
(Y/N) opened their mouth, but Bones held up a hand. “Let’s go to the Captain before anything else.”
“Alright,” said (Y/N), though they wanted to ask a million questions about Spock’s condition. They trailed after him as he headed to the Bridge. Once Bones was near enough to Kirk, (Y/N) spoke up. “How is he?”
“To be frank,” said Bones, regretting every word of bad news he had to deliver to them (as much as he bickered with Spock, he did like the idea of him and (Y/N)), “I don’t know that I can do anything for Spock or your nephew.”
(Y/N) felt their heart speed up in panic. Can’t…do anything? They didn’t want to stand by why Spock suffered. They needed to do something to help him.
“These are pieces of some form of living tissue. I removed one from Spock’s spinal cord, the other from your sister-in-law’s body. The boy’s far too weak to touch,” said Bones. “Besides the removal of the tissue wouldn’t stop the pain anyhow as far as I can tell.”
“Did you operate on Spock in time?” asked (Y/N). Kirk smiled slightly at the affection in their voice as they interrupted with the exact questions he wished to ask.
“No, no, no. I just removed these for examination,” said Bones. “His body’s full of these tentacles, entwining and growing all about his nervous system.”
(Y/N) flinched at the picture of Spock in such pain.
“And my nephew?” questioned Kirk.
“The same,” said Bones. “Evidently, when the creature attacks, it leaves a stinger much like a bee or a wasp, leaving one of these in the victim’s body. And it takes over the victim very rapidly. And the entwining is far, far too involved for conventional surgery to remove.”
“What are we going to do?” murmured (Y/N). “There has to be something we can do.”
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Bones shook his head. “The lab, the science departments…we’re all stumped.”
“Bridge, this is Sickbay,” said Chapels voice over the comms. “Tell Dr. McCoy that Mr. Spock just left here. He’s delirious, possibly dangerous.”
“All decks, security alert,” ordered Kirk. “Locate and restrain Mr. Spock. He may be dangerous. Use phasers on stun if necessary.”
No sooner had he finished speaking than the doors of the turbolift opened and Spock came out with a vengeance. He ran to the helm and threw Sulu out of his seat. The creature manipulating him wanted to control the ship.
“Must take ship,” he said.
Kirk got in front of him, but Spock batted him away. Two officers grabbed him, and (Y/N) pushed him into a railing to pin him there. Kirk and Sulu got up and held onto him too. Even with five people (one of which had superior to human strength), it was a definite struggle to hold Spock down, and they ended up having to pin him to the floor.
Luckily, Chapel arrived and gave a hypo to Bones, who darted in between the people and injected Spock. He fell unconscious even as he strained against them.
“Get him back to Sickbay,” ordered Kirk, panting from the exertion. “Use security restraints.”
Oh, Spock. (Y/N)’s eyes softened with concern. I need to find a way to help you.
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“The K-3 indicator registers the level on pain,” said Bones, pointing to the display above Spock’s head. “Watch as I turn it on.” It slid to the top in a moment, and the agony was reflected in Spock’s groans of pain.
“(Y/N)…Dr. McCoy,” breathed Spock “Captain…”
“Spock,” said (Y/N) softly, hating the pain he was in and wanting to reach out to help him.
“These restraints will no longer be necessary, nor will your sedatives, Doctor,” said Spock quietly but forcefully. “I’ll be able to return to duty. I apologize for my weakness earlier when I tried to take control of the ship and fought against you. I simply did not understand.”
“Didn’t understand what?” asked (Y/N).
“I am a Vulcan,” said Spock. “Pain is a thing of the mind. The mind can be controlled.”
“You’re only half-Vulcan,” said Kirk. “What about the human half of you?”
“It is proving to be an inconvenience,” admitted Spock.
“I can take some of the pain, Spock,” said (Y/N), putting a hand on the bed near his arm.
“The creature will only increase the sensation,” said Spock. “It would be illogical to waste your abilities and exhaust yourself futilely.” (Y/N) frowned in frustration; once he got logical, he wouldn’t recant his opinion. “The creature, with all of its thousands of parts, even now is pressuring me. It wants this ship. But I am resisting.”
“Can he control it the way he says, Bones?” asked Kirk.
Bones shrugged. “Who knows. I know the amount of the creature can inflict upon him. But whether he can control it, hour-to-hour…I don’t know.”
“I have my own will, Captain,” said Spock. “Let me help.”
“I do need you, Spock,” admitted Kirk. “But we can’t take any chances. We’ll keep you confined a while longer. If you can…maintain control, we’ll see.” Kirk turned and walked out. Bones and (Y/N) glanced at each other before following, with (Y/N) giving a last look at Spock.
“My nephew,” asked Kirk once in another room. “If he regains consciousness, will he go through that?”
Bones nodded hesitantly. “Yes.”
“Help them,” said Kirk. “I don’t care what it takes, you’ve got to help them.”
“Jim, aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Bones. “There are over a million colonists on that planet down there, just as much your responsibility. They need your help too.”
“Transporter Room to Sickbay,” said Scotty. “Mr. Spock is here trying to use the transporter.”
Bones, (Y/N), and Kirk looked at each other, eyes wide, before running down to engineering. Hopefully, Spock was just being an idiot and not him being controlled by the creature. Walking into the room, the trio was met with Scotty holding a phaser (set to stun) up at Spock to keep him in place.
“Mr. Spock, I gave you an order to stay in the Sickbay,” said Kirk sharply.
“Until the pain was gone, Captain,” said Spock. “It has been discontinued by me.”
“Scotty?” asked Kirk.
“He said he was transporting down to the surface, sir,” said Scotty. “Your orders were that no one was to beam down unless you authorized it. And knowing Mr. Spock’s determination on some things, I thought I’d better hold him here until I got your orders.”
“Spock, what were you trying to do?” asked (Y/N).
“One of the creatures will have to be captured and analyzed,” explained Spock. “Since my nervous system is already affected, as Dr. McCoy pointed out, I don’t believe they could do much more to me.”
(Y/N) still worried, but they understood he was right. And if he could catch a creature, they could figure out how to stop it and save him. “That is quite logic,” they admitted.
“This is ridiculous, I don’t want my patients running around. He should be in bed,” said Bones.
“I am in complete control of myself, Doctor,” assured Spock. “The fact that I am here proves that I do not belong in bed.”
“(L/N) is right. His logic, as usual, is inescapable,” said Kirk with a slightly amused sigh. He looked at Scotty and nodded. “Beam Mr. Spock down. Mr. Spock, remain in constant touch with us. Scotty, give him your phaser.”
Spock took it and nodded formally. “Thank you, Captain. Thank you, (Y/N), for your support.” Bones rolled his eyes at the Vulcan version of a giant hug goodbye. Spock stepped onto the transporter and was beamed down to Deneva to hopefully catch the creature that would give them a cure for his condition.
As they began walking back to the bridge, Bones said, “Jim, that man is sick. And don’t give me any damnable logic about him being the only man for the job.”
“I don’t have to, Bones. We all know he is,” said Kirk.
“He has a chance to catch one so we can figure out how to help him, the Captain’s nephew, and the millions of lives on Deneva,” said (Y/N).
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Several hours had passed, during which Spock had returned with a sample and begun his work in the lab with his fellow researchers. They had discovered that the creatures were only one cell, one singular brain cell. However, it was one part of a larger organism. It and the other creatures worked together like a hive mind because they were one mind.
Though no definitive weakness had been found, Kirk suggested they try to look at the sun as the first alert they had gotten to the situation on Deneva was a Denevan flying into the sun and shouting they were free. It suggested that was the directed to go.
Sadly, Bones and Spock could not find a way to kill the creature, even with the sun’s radiation, and Kirk was forced to gather his senior officers to decide what course of action to take. After all, the creature could not be allowed to spread any further than Deneva. But that would mean killing millions on Deneva. Kirk could not move forward without the wisdom of his friends.
“Gentlemen?” said Kirk, facing the group after explaining his dilemma.
“I regret I see no other choice for you, Captain,” said Spock.
“We already know this thing has destroyed three civilizations, perhaps more,” said Bones.
“I want it stopped, too, but not at the cost of millions of people,” said (Y/N), shaking their head.
“Including myself and Captain Kirk’s young nephew,” said Spock, and the others frowned sadly. “Understandably upsetting, but once it spreads past here, there are dozens of colonies beyond and billions of people.”
“If killing five people saves ten, it’s a bargain. Is that your logic, Spock?” hissed Bones.
“I will accept neither of those alternatives,” said Kirk forcefully. “I cannot let this thing expand beyond this planet, nor do I intend to kill a million or more people to stop it! I want another answer. I’m putting you all in the hot seat with me. I want that third alternative!” He stormed out of the room, leaving the rest of them to discuss.
“Are you two sure every test has been run with elements of the sun?” asked (Y/N), frowning.
“All harmful levels of radiation have been tested. None successfully harm the creature,” said Spock. “The only logical option is to destroy its hosts.”
“Spock, that means millions will die!” cried Bones.
“Doctor, we do not have another option.” Spock was looking straight at (Y/N)’s concerned, fearful eyes. They despised the idea of his death. It was breaking their heart. “Even if it means my death, we must do what is necessary to protect the spread of this creature.”
Bones bit his lip. “I don’t like it. I hate it, in fact. But it is the only option.”
(Y/N)’s hand balled into a fist as they looked down. They kept their voice carefully steady as they spoke. “I....” They took a deep breath and faced Spock. “I can’t accept it. But I know I can’t stop you. And I know the galaxy must be saved, as much as I hate it.”
Spock stood. “Then we must make our report to the Captain.”
“We must,” echoed (Y/N) and Bones with much regret.
Quiet with the burden they held, they walked silently to Kirk’s quarters and stepped in. (Y/N) shifted uncomfortably and glanced, heartbroken, at Spock, their heart aching at the idea of him gone.
“Report?” asked Kirk.
Bones cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Jim. We’ve been over it, we’ve made every conceivable test…”
“I therefore request permission to beam down to the planet’s surface,” said Spock formally, pushing all of the feelings surrounding his death to a small box in the back of his mind. “I also suggest your nephew accompany me.”
“Request denied,” said Kirk.
“Captain, I do not make this request lightly,” said Spock. “I do not know how much longer I can hold out against the pain, but I do know what the boy will go through should he regain consciousness.”
“Request denied,” repeated Kirk. “There must be another answer. Something in the sun killed that thing before the Denevan died.” He stood from his desk. “Alright. You’ve tried heat…radiation. What other qualities or properties does the sun have?”
“Light?” offered (Y/N). “Usually we associate the dangers of the sun with its heat and radiation, which comes from light particles, but could it be it is literally just light?”
Kirk’s head snapped up, and his eyes widened. “You’re right. It radiates a blinding light if you’re close enough. (L/N)’s right, light isn’t dangerous to us, but we don’t know how this creature works. Light could harm it. Down on the surface, the things stayed in the shadows.”
(Y/N) nodded emphatically. “They might not be hiding but avoiding the light because it can hurt them. Light in the sun, close up, could kill it.”
“A definite possibility,” admitted Spock, a slight swell of pride in his voice as he looked at (Y/N).
“But you can’t move Deneva closer to the sun,” pointed out Bones.
“No, but we can bring the equivalent of the sun to Deneva, right?” said (Y/N) excitedly.
Spock nodded. “In essence, it can be done. A string of satellites around the planet, with burning tri-magnesite and trevium.”
Bones sighed. “Well, I can rig a test cuticle in the bio lab, put our specimen in it, but I don’t—”
“Just try it, Bones. Please,” said Kirk.
Bones relented and nodded. “Let’s get on it, Spock.”
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“Your figures are, of course, accurate?” asked Kirk as he watched Bones place the test subject into the bio lab’s machines.
“Of course,” said Spock, lacing his hands behind his back. “The light of the sun at the proximity where the Denevan declared himself free was one million candles per square inch. If this works, the satellites we orbit will produce light of such intensity that even someone in a closed, darkened area will be affected by it.”
“Ready, Doctor,” said Chapel, sealing the chamber off.
(Y/N), bouncing nervously as they took their protective goggles and put them on, waited for the experiment to begin. They could only hope that this was successful. Then they could save Spock! And Kirk’s nephew and everyone else on Deneva, of course.
The lights flickered, and the machine whirred for a moment as the test was carried out. Everyone was on the edge of their seat as they removed their goggles and Spock opened the door.
“It worked!” exclaimed (Y/N) excitedly as they saw the creature dead in its chamber.
Kirk turned and walked away, a slight frown on his face.
“Jim, what’s wrong?” asked Bones, smiling.
“We can do it. It worked in the lab with the creature exposed to everything we can give it. But what about the people who are infected?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” said Bones.
“There’s no time for maybes, Bones,” said Kirk. “We need to know now. We’d need to put someone who’s infected under that light.”
“That’s a huge risk,” said (Y/N), frowning. “Who would put themself such danger?”
“Captain.” Spock stepped forward.
Should have thought of that one, thought (Y/N).
“You’ll need a host for the next step in the test to determine whether the creature can be driven from the body,” said Spock, logically and formally.
“Spock, I’m no scientist, but one million candles per square inch can do a lot of damage to people,” said (Y/N), furrowing their brow worryingly.
“It can do a hell of a lot to the optic nerves,” said Bones sharply.
“We can’t afford to lose our finest science officer,” continued (Y/N), trying to appeal to Spock’s logic, though they knew it would be to no avail.”
“There is no other way,” said Spock. “We must duplicate the brightness that existed at the moment the Denevan declared himself free.”
“Fine,” muttered Bones. “At least there’s no risk of death. But I’ll rig up protective goggles.”
“Negative, Doctor. Those on the planet’s surface will have no such equipment, and we must duplicate the conditions exactly,” explained Spock.
“I must agree with Spock,” said Kirk.
“I hate it when you’re both right,” grouched Bones.
“I think the same,” said (Y/N), sighing. “And I hate that we both know they’re right, too.”
“Alright, Spock,” said Bones. “Step into the chamber.”
Spock nodded. However, before he went inside, he gave a last long look to (Y/N), silently memorizing their face in case anything did happen to his eyesight. It would be a aesthetically pleasing, pleasant view if it were his last.
Before he grew too un-Vulcan-ly sentimental, Spock sat back in the chair and relaxed as much as possible as the machine whirred to life. The lights turned blinding above him as the chamber lit up with its brightness.
As soon as the experiment was over, (Y/N) took their goggles off and opened the chamber door. Spock’s tense body relaxed as the lights dimmed, and he opened his eyes.
“Spock? How are you feeling?” asked (Y/N).
He sat up silently and stood. Spock walked slowly out of the chamber as (Y/N), Bones, and Kirk watched concernedly.
“The creature within me is gone,” reported Spock. “I am free of it and the pain.”
“And?” They sensed there was more.
Spock ignored them and walked forward, straight into the biolab’s desk. “And I am also quite blind,” admitted Spock.
(Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they held Spock’s shoulders to guide him away from the desk to the chair. They had forgotten themself and their formalities in their haste, but Spock did not pull away.
“It was equitable trade,” said Spock. “Thank you for your assistance, (Y/N).”
“Of course, Spock,” said (Y/N), smiling and letting their hand rest on his shoulder.
Nurse Chapel walked into the room with a report. “Doctor, the results of the first test on the creature’s remains…” She trailed off as she saw Spock and frowned in worry before leaving the reports with Bones.
He glanced at the information. “Oh, no.” Kirk and (Y/N)’s heads snapped up to look at him. (Spock did not react since, logically, there was nothing he would be able to see if he did turn).
“What is it?” asked (Y/N), frowning.
“I threw the total spectrum of light at the creature. It wasn’t necessary. I didn’t stop to think that only one kind of light might have killed it,” said Bones.
“Interesting,” said Spock. “Just as dogs are sensitive to certain sounds which humans cannot hear, those creatures evidently are sensitive to light which we cannot see.”
“So Spock didn’t have to be blinded?” asked (Y/N), sighing.
Bones shook his head regretfully. “I didn’t need to throw the blinding white light at all.” He threw a sorry glance at (Y/N), who he knew was worried for Spock. “Spock, I—”
“Doctor, it was my selection as well. It is done,” said Spock, as emotionless as ever.
“Bones, (L/N), take care of him,” said Kirk, furrowing his brow. “I will use the proper spectrum of light to kill the creatures.”
“Yes, Captain,” said (Y/N), their hand still on Spock’s shoulder. As Kirk left to save Deneva, they removed their hand and sat on the desk. “Is there anything I can get you, Spock?”
(Bones carefully stepped from the room in an effort to give them a “moment.” He and Kirk were always looking for such times, and although it was a bad circumstance, he would still capitalize on it)
“I require nothing at the moment,” said Spock. “I merely wish to await the Captain’s report on the situation.”
“I’m sure we’ll have it soon,” said (Y/N), smiling. They were quite for a moment. “Spock…is there any pain from your eyes?”
“There is discomfort, but I believe it will pass soon,” said Spock.
“I’d like to take it from you, if that’s alright.”
Spock was quiet. He did not want to allow (Y/N) to take any of his pain onto themself, but the idea of touch while he was deprived of sight seemed enjoyable (not any touch to his hands. That sense heightened would be overwhelming).
“Very well. But if the pain is too great, I expect you to let go,” ordered Spock.
(Y/N) smiled. “You know I would never agree to not helping people.”
Spock raised an eyebrow. “That could be seen as insubordination.”
(Y/N) chuckled and reached out, gently placing their hands on his face and closing their eyes. Pain was not quite an emotion as much as it was a sensation, so touching the face was more effective for drawing it out.
They took a deep breath and began drawing his pain away, careful to not touch the carefully locked away emotions in the depths of his mind. Spock was aware of (Y/N) in his mind, but he had no concern for them prying into the feelings he faithfully controlled. They were not so intrusive. They always respected his privacy and his culture. However, Spock did have to control his mind more carefully while they were in it lest they feel that which he was still coming to terms with feeling himself.
His control faltered as the darkness of his sight blurred into shapes. He blinked as his eyes began to focus and adjust to the world once more. Evidently, said his logical mind, the blindness was only temporary.
“(Y/N)…”
Spock reached up and carefully lowered their hands, breaking the connection. (Y/N) was startled by the touch to their hands but did not dare move. While they knew it was often seen as intimate among Vulcans, they could not help but enjoy the touch (Celians were very affectionate on their planet, so (Y/N) enjoyed physical touch).
Spock let go after a moment and looked at them. “While I thank you for your assistance, it seems your abilities are no longer necessary. The blindness appears to have been temporary.”
(Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they grinned happily, partly still exhilarated from the temporary bond between minds they had not done since leaving Celia. “I’m glad. And everyone else will be, too.” They cleared their throat and stood, acutely aware of how close they were and the moment they had. “I will inform Dr. McCoy so that he may examine you for any other damage.”
As they were at the threshold of the door, Spock spoke up. “Again, (Y/N). Thank you for the help you did offer. I did appreciate it.”
(Y/N) smiled softly back at him. “Of course, Spock. Anytime you need help. I’m here.”
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Spock had meditated for many nights over the turmoil within him. He had done the Vulcan thing, dealt with it in his mind and controlled it, but in order to do so effectively, he had to confront the feeling.
Spock cared for (Y/N).
It had started gradually. It had started as a small preference for their company and a respect for their work, even if it seemed strange to others that a Vulcan would see the value of (Y/N)’s empathic abilities. But then it had grown to him enjoying their words, even if it was mindless chatter. Next it had been understanding how others found them aesthetically pleasing. That had morphed into an appreciation for their beauty, the ratios of their face, the gold of their eyes, their smile.
Spock had been in deep before he knew it. Spock had fallen in love with (Y/N) before he knew it.