Chapter Text
Furina loosens her hold when she felt the stillness in the air around her.
“We’re here.” Neuvillette tells her, his voice hushed in a way that even she barely heard him. She looks up, her eyes seeing the starry sky above him. She glances past her shoulder, spotting the Court and Opera in the distance.
She doesn’t know why, but her first instinct was to laugh. Part of it out of confusion, but the rest of it out of surprise.
“How is this hiding?!” She asks, throwing her head back as she continues to laugh. She’s truly confused in a delightful way, waiting and wanting to hear his reasoning for choosing the West Slopes of Mount Automnequi to hide her. Nevermind that fact that there’s simply nowhere he could possibly hide her in.
“Should I take us elsewhere?” He asks, his voice trembling with embarrassment and worry. Furina could only shake her head and continue to laugh, apologizing in between her breaths for her reaction. She manages to say no between her bouts of laughter. She relaxes in his arms as she takes a deep breath, allowing herself to sink into his arms.
“I’m just…how is this hiding?” She asks. Neuvillette peers down at her, making her blush and look away. She busies herself with the scenery, choosing to stare at the highest point of the Court.
“My room.” She thinks. “It’s amazing that he’s able to bring us so far away in a blink of an eye.” She continues.
“I wonder…would he ever dare take me further away if he knew that I simply view the Court as a prison? Something that’s worse than the Fortress where Egeria’s secret lies?”
She snaps out of her thoughts when she’s lowered.
“I don’t see what’s wrong with this.” He replies. Furina flinches when her feet touched the cold soil, reminding her that she’s barefoot. She steadies herself by holding onto him.
“I can see the sky.” She answers. She looks past her shoulders, smiling as she feels the breeze sweep past her. “I can see the field of flowers swaying with the wind.” She turns and takes a step away, surprised to feel the gentlest tug from him as he holds onto her hand.
“Is….is that too odd?” She hears him take a careful step after her.
“I can see the Court and Opera Epiclese!” She continues tugging her hand free from him.
“You asked me to hide you and make you feel safe.” He sighs. Furina lets out a hum, one filled with notes that carried her amusement. She giggles soon after, still finding his solution quite…intriguing. She looks down, seeing the way her feet sink slightly onto the soil and covered by grass and small flowers. The sight reminds her of days long gone; Back when Fontaine was still recovering from the horrendous events that led to the previous Hydro Archon’s death.
Then, Furina was able to sneak away from the Court at night, letting herself go and dance in the moonlight atop shallow waters after failing to talk to an Oceanid…or two. Those days are rare for her now, replaced by nights filled with contemplation and analyzing her image to ensure that her act as “Fontaine's Archon” isn’t damaged by such…failures. She turns her head, trying her best to hide from those thoughts. Furina looks in front of her, taking in the expanse of the night sky blanketing the sea below. Fontaine’s glow is soft compared to the shimmering sea surface.
“Again, dear Iudex, how is this hiding?!” She laughs once more, taking another step and relishing in feeling the cold soil beneath her. Furina can’t quite explain the sudden burst of energy she gains, making her break into a sprint down the slopes. She laughs as she runs, loving the feeling of the wind brushing against her face and combing through her hair. The breeze encourages her to continue running. Each gentle gale embraces her as she relishes in lightness that she feels; As if everything that was once weighing in her heart and mind have vanished, gone with the zephyr.
Furina is surprised to feel Neuvillette’s hand in hers, holding onto her tight as if he's scared to lose her to the gales. She courts the fear, daring to go faster and allowing herself to feel free in the moment. She laughs once more, embracing the winds that readily caresses her cheeks, painting them red from their chill. She stops as she slips, nearly falling forward had Neuvillette not reacted so quickly.
They stilled for a moment, allowing Furina to catch her breath. She lets out a low hum when she feels him hold onto her tighter. She gives the arm around her waist a little push, testing to see just how Neuvillette is bent on keeping her close to him. She leans back onto him when he resisted. The act seems to have caught him off guard as he relaxed, allowing her to take his hand and twirl herself out of his hold.
“We’re clearly visible.” She muses, squeezing the hand in hers. She let out a hushed laughter when she saw his pout. There’s an inkling of guilt that tugged at her happiness, reminding her that Neuvillette only frowns in the certain way around her. She silences the voice, following after him as he guides the two of them down the path.
The path that Neuvillette follows isn’t special.
It’s the same path that’s been carved by the footfalls of Fontainians walking through Automnequi.
It bears the same species of flowers that blooms in its season without fail.
Even the air that brushes against them; It’s the same chilly air that loves to run through Fontaine’s peaks and valleys.
The only thing different is the sight of Neuvillette’s back pressed against the backdrop of the night sky that Furina has found herself in.
It’s different yet familiar, distant yet close, impersonal yet so intimate in its own ways. Furina follows the line of his arm, her gaze landing on their clasped hands. She glances up again, taking in the sight of him leading her through the fields.
For once, in the safety of his back turned to her while he tries to keep her with him, she drops her mask. Furina allows the corner of lips to fall, bending her smile into a frown while her brows furrowed. She allows herself to entwine their fingers, anchoring herself to him and following his lead without protest. She thinks of herself as a Lumitoile, resting beneath the waters—his waters. Sitting quietly and still, resisting the pull of the waves that threatens to take her away from the shores.
She squeezes his hand as he tightens his hold on hers, reassuring him that she’s still with him. She’s trying to stay with him in the moment, much like the shining sea star trying desperately to find some grip in the loose sand.
She fights the urge to close the distance between them. To grab him and press her head on his back and ask for them to stop. To let her cling onto him without accosting her privacy. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold them in place; put a pause to everything.
Stop everything for a brief moment so that she can catch her breath and thoughts.
To her surprise, they came to a halt.
“Hiding in plain sight is a thing, Lady Furina.” He replies, pausing their walk in front of white flowers. Furina could only laugh even more with his answer. She’s thoroughly amused by his thoughts and reasoning; afterall when someone asks to be hidden away, the usual place in mind would be a shelter of some kind, or a secluded area.
Not a beautiful field of flowers under a starlit night.
Furina wobbles as Neuvillette gently pulls her. Her mind clearly too preoccupied to pay attention to where she’s stepping. He catches her, steadying her before letting her go to continue their little walk.
The desire to stay with him grabs at her heels as she continues to follow his lead. But…
Just like the scales that seek balance—there is an equal desire within Furina that challenges the idea of staying with Neuvillette.
A part of her that wishes to let go.
To take a step away and let out her loudest and mirthful laugh. Surround them with what happiness should sound like. Downplaying her feelings and calling him a worrisome fool for being concerned about her. She wanted to act haughty and remind him who she is.
She’s Fontaine’s Archon.
The beacon of hope and justice.
There’s nothing wrong; nothing could ever be wrong with her.
And that it’s endearing that he listened to her reckless request.
The desire to restore the balance where Fontaine’s freedom and happiness outweighs the suffering that she already and will go through gnaws at her. It grabs at her with every step she takes. It gets heavier and harder to ignore with each second that she allows to pass between their clasped hands. Furina wants to pull him back, forcing out her proclamations that she’s much better now and her hysterics have calmed. She wanted to tell him that the scales of her worry had tipped back to its usual— the normalcy that there’s nothing for her to fear at all.
Furina longs to let go to end her suffering from his kindness. To cool her hand from the warmth of his care and touch. She aches to put distance between them, fearing that he’s silently listening to her heavy and weary heartbeats.
And yet, all she could do is grip his hand tighter to feel for his pulse. Furina wanted nothing more than to listen to his heartbeat and pray that it’s strong and loud enough to drown out hers. She laughs at the idea— here he is trying to hide her from the rest of Fontaine, while she’s busy trying to hide herself from him. She’s ultimately left with his words repeating in her mind,
“Hiding in plain sight.’
Isn’t that what she’s been doing for the past 500 years?
Isn’t that what she’s promised to her ‘Mirror-Me’ in hopes of thwarting the prophecy?
Furina bitterly chuckles at his words, finally finding the energy to resist Neuvillette’s kindness as bitterness grabs her heart. She masks the feeling with a smile, a curve on her lips twisted by her pain and hatred of the situation.
“We’re the last two beings in Fontaine that’s capable of doing that.” She finally replies. She slows her steps as he stops. Furina allows the smile on her face to stay, looking away from him as he turns to face her. She let out a pleased hum as the blue flowers greeted her.
“Then tell me.” Neuvillette whispers. “What exactly did you have in mind?” Furina closes her eyes as she feels the winds sweep past them. She lets go of her sigh as the breeze leaves them, internally thanking and apologizing to the winds for imparting some of her anguish with them. Her eyes shifted their focus to the blue flowers in front of them. It’s moments like these where she’s thankful for the veil, shielding her face from Neuvillette and the rest of the world.
“Not this.” She sighs, turning her attention back to him, but she doesn’t dare to look him in the eyes.
“Clearly.” Neuvillette replies. Furina could only smile when she picked up the sound of dejection in his voice. She glanced up, curious to see that face that he’s making. She breathes in slowly when she sees him raise up his hand. She lets it go as he combed back some of her hair, tucking them behind her ear. She fails to take in another quiet breath when he pushes back her veil, exposing more of her to him.
Furina shivers when she feels his gloved finger tips trace the shell of her ear. She closes her eyes, focusing on his touch as it travels down the side of her face. She leans toward his palm when his fingers ghosted over her cheek. She opens her eyes when he tilts her head back with his finger under her chin. The movement was gentle, stopping the tilt of her head at the perfect angle where it doesn’t put too much strain on her neck.
“You’ve yet to answer my question.” He says.
Furina smiles, letting out a quiet breath as she gives him a slight nod. She could feel the way Neuvillette’s finger trembled with trepidation. It slowly goes away as his resolve to obtain an answer from her hardens.
“When have I ever given you a direct answer?” She teases. Furina could only suck in a breath when he ran his thumb across the bottom of her lip. She stills as her eyes stay on his. The world around her slowly quiets and comes into a halt as she focuses on him.
“Then you can’t blame me for making the wrong interpretations of your request.” He replies, leaning closer to her. Furina shakily lets go of her breath, keeping her eye contact with him as she bends and acquiesces to the way his hands guided her to rest against him.
Furina shudders as she feels the tips of his fingers move along the line of her neck and shoulder. She looks down as he leans towards her, allowing him to scoop her into his arms, carrying her like a princess in those beloved fairy tales and plays. Furina lays her head against his chest, straining her ears to listen to his heartbeat. She doesn’t dare to break her attention away from him, and he does the same as he walks them deeper into the fields of blue flowers.
She could feel the way his hold tightens as they come to a halt. She brings up a hand to clutch as his coat when he leans down, carefully getting on his knees while holding her in his arms. Furina shudders when she felt the sharp, yet delicate, blade of leaves and grass poke at her bare feet.
Furina stills as she feels the gentlest touch on the top of her head. She leans up to the touch, feeling Neuvillette’s faint breath against her scalp as he places another kiss on her veiled crown while he holds her closer. Furina clings onto the warmth that envelopes her, committing to memory the way it feels to be held by him. To be wrapped in her beloved’s arms as if he’s just as scared of losing her as she is of losing him and everything.
Furina forces herself to let go when she feels him loosen his hold. More of his face comes into view as he lays her down until her back rests on the damp soil, and her vision of him is framed by blue petals.
She draws in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of grass and subdued petrichor.
She shakily loses that breath when she finally looks at him in the eyes— her ocean hued gems meeting his silver-lavender ones. Furina holds her breath as she tries to decipher the emotions embedded in the lines and glimmers of his irises. She’s afraid of the fear that those eyes conveyed; She doesn’t want to entertain the idea that Neuvillette holds her close enough to have such anxiety over her presence. She doesn’t want to think of it— afterall what is there to lose? Or rather, who will he lose when he has never known her?
Who will he, and in turn Fontaine, lose when she’s never given them her true self in the past centuries?
How could the nation of Hydro and their Iudex lose Furina de Fontaine when they had never beheld her in the first place?
She stares back at her reflection in his eyes— wondering just who it is he sees when he looks at her. The reality stabs at her once more as she continues to study herself— the version of her that’s colored in hues of silver and delicate purples. The feeling of loss and helplessness surges within her as she continues to look at her own image that’s caged in the confines of his gaze. Even in his stare, she doesn’t recognize the reflection staring back at her.
It reminds her of the painful truth that stabs at her everyday—
That she could never see herself in the reflection that she sees in her people’s eyes.
And she only has herself to blame for it.
“Make myself so believable that even I don’t know who I truly am.” She says bitterly to herself.
Furina gasps for air when she feels his touch on her cheeks. She doesn’t keep her breath for long as she shakily lets it go when his thumb draws a small circle on the apple of her cheek.
“There.” Neuvillette whispers to her, his gaze silently pleading for her to keep her attention on him. “You’re hidden by the flowers now.” He finishes as he draws his hand away from her.
Furina draws in another breath as she watches him move up, bringing some distance between them.
“This is it.” she thinks to herself as Nuevillette slowly stands. “He’s going to leave me just like she has.” She continues the thought, slowly losing sight of her reflection in his eyes as he continues to move away from her.
Furina could only bring herself to laugh at the situation. She fills the air around them with the sound of her happiness—or atleast what she thinks it to sound like. She wishes to push away the despair that she feels. She covers her eyes with her arm, unable to bear the sight of her small reflection in Neuvillette’s eyes.
Furina pushes out her words, exclaiming her surprise that maybe he has learned from the romantics that once penned and performed plays about love and adoration. She holds herself together by wrapping her free arm against her stomach and fingers clutching at her waist. For a moment she allows her hysteria to seize her, shaking her body as she continues to laugh out her sorrow and helplessness.
Her bout of hysterics is interrupted when she feels his hand on the one by her head. She allows him to slot his fingers between hers, anchoring himself to her for the upteenth time of the night. Furina pushes her hand against his as she feels the gentlest tug from him. She blinks back the tears that her eyelids have tried so hard to keep hidden. It’s all she could do when Neuvillette slowly fills her vision as she continues to push his hand away from her.
“Oh.” Furina thinks to herself as she sees the small smile that pulls at Neuvillette’s lips. “He’s genuinely happy right now, isn’t he?” She continues as she sees the way his smile widened ever so slightly.
“There you are.” He whispers, his face getting close to her as he leans down. Furina could only blink at his words as she sees her reflection in his eyes once more. She squeezes his hands as he continues to look at her. His gaze showers her with the feeling of relief and happiness. She throws a smile his way, wishing to accept his feelings but ultimately failing.
Furina’s gaze momentarily breaks from his, choosing to look at their clasped hands. The warmth of his emotions and touch is a stark contrast to the cold and numbing feeling that’s grabbed a hold of her. The squeeze of his hand silently asks for her acknowledgement once more, and she gives it to him— Finding herself, her reflection, at the center of his attention.
Furina loses her breath as she lets him see her.
It’s an odd feeling to be in the center of Neuvillette’s attention.
Under his gray gaze she feels small,
So powerless and insignificant that she wonders how she’s been able to deceive him for the past centuries,
They reflect the imperfections of her masquerade and yet he’s so unaware.
In the same breath, those very same eyes that makes her feel present,
Makes her feel real,
He sees her and that she’s capable of holding his and Fontaine’s attention.
He’s captivated by her presence and not her performance.
“You’re hidden by the flowers now.” He finishes, keeping her in the center of his gaze— in the center of his world.
Furina breaks.
She blinks back the tears as he continues to stare at her,
She squeezes his hand as he continues to hold her,
Reminding her that she — Furina de Fontaine— exists in this moment,
She reminds herself that she’s being hidden away by him because of her request,
That she has asked for him to hide from everything he feared that would take her,
And he did.
She pleads with herself to believe that he did it out of genuine concern,
That Neuvillette,
The one that’s framed with blue flowers in her vision,
Has acquiesced to her and not his archon,
“Here I am.” She manages to say. “Come join me” She pleads. She tugs at his hand to bring him down as she feels the first tear slip from the corner of her eyes. She takes in a shaky breath as he complies, laying down next to her all while keeping their hands entwined.
Furina allows a broken smile to curve her lips as Neuvillette disappears behind the curtain of stems and leaves. She forces herself to let go of his hand, fearing that a simple jolt would let Neuvillette know that she’s broken down and crying.
Furina is careful to breathe quietly, timing her trembling sobs when the winds whistle as it rushes past the reeds and blade of grass. She tries her best to take deep breaths, holding it and pleading with herself to calm down. She busies herself with the stars, trying her best to see them through the blur of her tears. She closes her eyes when she fails, keeping her tears behind her shut lids.
Deep down Furina knows that she’s failing. Her tears’ cold trails filled with her agony streak the sides of her face. Each drop carves its ownpath, reminding her of her own inability to do the same. She resorts to patting at the flowers around her, distracting herself with the feeling of the blades of grass, the velvet feel of the petals, and then…
The soft and warm feeling of Neuvillette’s hand.
Furina slowly exhales as she relaxes, allowing him to lace their fingers together. She allows herself to return the gesture, anchoring herself to him for the time being. She takes a deep breath, opening her eyes slowly. A smile tugs on her lips as the stars greet her with their twinkling lights.
“This was the last thing I expected.” Furina whispers, turning her head slightly towards the direction of their clasped hands.
“What were you envisioning when you asked me to hide you?” Neuvillette asks. The question makes Furina chuckle quietly. She supposed that her statement was vague enough for him to fill the blanks with his priority. Which, unfortunately, probably doesn’t have anything to do with him holding her hand. Furina takes a deep breath as she directs her attention back to the stars.
“Someplace darker.” She replies, going with the flow of the conversation. “Like somewhere more secluded and out of sight.”
“Is this not out of sight?”
She smiles at his response.
“It is.” She agrees. “But I was thinking more underground…or more isolated.”
“Something…like a hide out.”
“Your idea is starting to sound like you wanted me to imprison you.” Neuvillette states. His voice was laced with confusion and concern— all of which made Furina let out her quietest laughs. She stops when she feels his hand hold onto her tighter.
“Even if you had asked for me to hide you in such places, I’d’ still choose one where you’d freely move about.”
“Where you can leave and still see your people, the sun, the moon, the stars.”
“Hence this place.” She sighs. Furina couldn’t stop herself from internally scowling at the irony of what Neuvillette had said. Afterall, he just described what she does on a daily basis— hide herself in plain sight within Fontaine’s borders.
Amusement bubbles up from within her, erupting into a disgrace of a laughter. One with notes of content and misery— and she tries to make it sound happier. Hopes that Neuvillette is so used to this laugh that he dismisses it as one filled with joy and mirth.
“I’ll be sure to think of places that would better meet your expectations then.” Neuvillette adds. Furina stills as she hears the sound of leaves rustling next to her. She stares at the patch of flowers next to her, begging for them to maintain the curtain that keeps her face hidden from him. “Should you ask me to hide you again.” She manages to hear through the sound of her beating heart and howling winds.
She’s relieved when she doesn’t see him.
“I wouldn’t have minded if you hid me in your quarters.” She admits. “It’s kind of what I was expecting.” She keeps to herself. Instead, she opts to tighten her hold of his hands, silently thanking him for his company and for entertaining her. This act seemed to have invited something else.
“Lady Furina.” Neuvillette calls out. She holds her breath, steeling herself for the sermon of sorts that’s sure to come due to her behavior.
“I’ve hidden you from Fontaine.” He continues.
Oh.
“I’ve hidden you from your people.”
Her heart beats harder as she hears the pain in his voice.
“I’ve hidden you from her.”
Furina flinches at the memory of the Knave,
And more often now…her Mirror-Me’s cold, reassuring smile,
“And the sea.”
She averts her stare to sky to hide from the very thing that she’s supposed to have dominion over.
“But not Celestia.” She whispers back, seeing a glimpse of it in the edges of her vision.
“I would if I could.” Neuvillette readily replied.
The idea terrified her.
Not because of the consequences…
But because she’d allow him.
Deep in her heart, and in the recesses of her mind and pain— she’d let him do it.
And it terrified her.
This selfishness that’s slowly consuming her,
This gluttonous voice asking to think of herself—
“But that may endanger the people and Melusines that you love so dearly.” He adds.
Furina smiles, thanking Neuvillette silently for controlling himself and ultimately…her own thoughts.
“So you would?” She muses, blinking up at the sky.
“If there’s a way to safeguard the source of your happiness, I would.” He reassures. Furina’s vision blurs once more at the warmth that scalds her. She takes in a shaky breath.
“And if I told you that Celetia wouldn’t retaliate? That all of Fontaine will be safe?” She asks. She stops herself from telling him that his grip tightening is hurting her. Furina could feel Neuvillette’s confusion and anger at her questions. She couldn’t help it— she wishes to know. Afterall, how could Celestia punish him for hiding away a human?
Let alone, an abandoned one at that.
Whether or not her Mirror-Me or Celestia has is a different matter. At this moment; in this second of her existence, that’s all she could feel.
She’s abandoned.
Left to fend for herself the moment she agreed to take on this silent masquerade.
So surely…Celestia, and maybe, her Mirror-Me, wouldn’t care if she was hidden away.
“Would you hide me then?” She finishes.
“If that’s what you truly wish, I would.” He starts. Furina’s view of the stars are muddled once more as tears pooled at the corner of her eyes . “If that will somehow make you happy, I’ll consider it.”
She fails to let out her sob quietly. She tries to mask it as a hum, but it’s such a poor attempt on her end that she can only blame herself if Neuvillette figures out her true feelings. She quietly berates herself for giving into her grief and pain. Anger courses through her and pushes out the warmth of the moment, leaving her cold in its wake.
Her fear begins to close in as she realizes that this selfishness of her may just expose her charade too soon. And she couldn’t have that.
On the slim chance on if Celestia bothered.
That they can’t overlook her disappearance because the Hydro Sovereign has taken her—
It terrifies her.
It’ll put Neuvillette in danger,
It’ll ultimately hurt him and she’s mortified at the thought.
He’ll be punished for protecting a fake,
For listening to the madness of a puppet
It would be unfair to him,
He who cared enough for her,
He who is only trying to make her happy,
To make her feel safe and protected.
He…who holds all of her heart and falsehoods.
“I’m…I’m afraid that it’s impossible.” She admits. “Because Celestia might just hurt the one that holds so much of it.”
“Don’t.” She commands as she hears him shifting his spot. Her tears fall freely now that she lost the resolve to hide them. She uses her free hand to wipe them away, begging for Neuvillette to allow them to exist just as they are at the moment. She quietly thanks the winds that brush away her tears and for keeping the flowers from bending too much to show her face to him. Furina forces herself to keep her gaze at the sky, refusing to allow Neuvillette to see any inkling of pain in her expression. His grip on her hand tells her that he’s doing his best to respect her wishes. He would lay so still against her as they hid in the sea of flowers.
In time her vision clears as she calms down. The expanse of the sky glimmers in front of her. The sight invites her to reminisce, asking Neuvillette if he remembers the last time they stargazed together.
“A good century or two.” He whispers.
“Do you still remember the first time we stargazed together?” She asks.
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” She smiles at his answer, making her all the more happier with the sight of the night sky above them.
“Me either.” She closes her eyes as silence settles around them. She remember that night vividly. It was months after her ascension and Neuvillette’s arrival in the Court. Furina at the time was trying to call on the Oceanids to come back, to atleast talk to her. After two hours of still waters and soundless waves, Furina found herself in a fit of anger. She remembers kicking about the water, muttering and apologizing for being rough with hydro. Had Neuvillette arrived minutes before he did, he would’ve seen the spectacle. But as luck would have it, she had already given up and fell back into the shallow pool out of dejection.
Furina is taken back to the present when she feels Neuvillette’s hold loosen, only to tighten in a breath’s length. There’s clear discomfort in the way his hand shook, as if his own recollection of the memory is painful and laden with fear.
“What is it my dear Neuvillette?” She asks, turning her face to his direction. “You’re shaking, are you cold?” For once in the night he doesn’t reply readily. She allows them to sit in silence for a moment, waiting to see— or rather to hear— if he’ll reply.
“Neuvillette?” She calls out once more, daring to bring her face a breath closer to him.
“Back then, I thought the stars would take you.” The answer elicits a sharp breath from her. Her eyes widened with surprise and concern. A part of her is dying to close the distance between them, to soothe his worries and quell the fear in his voice. “And I remember you laughing at me, saying that my observation is a silly notion.” He finishes.
“Is that what you’re thinking of now?” She asks. Furina fought the urge to bring her other hand to hold the hand in hers. “Oh my dear Iudex.” She tries, the endearment falling off so naturally for her.
“Whyever would you think that the stars would take me?” She continues. “What makes you think that will—“
“After all, I have been abandoned.” She finishes internally. “And even if I am not…surely the revelation of my true identity will lead Celestia to it.”
“I’m being irrational, I know.” She could see the way his expression is riddled with confusion between the gaps of the stems. How his brows knitted and his lips pulled into a frown. “Do not mind me.” He tires.
“I will choose to mind you!” She replies. “What makes you think that?”
“You’re in your regalia.” Furina winces at the reminder. “You haven’t donned that on for the past…four centuries.”
“To my knowledge, the last time the Archons were seen in their own regalia…” Furina holds his hand tighter, finally bringing the other to clasp over both of theirs. She doesn’t encourage him to finish the thought. The pain in his voice is all she needs to hear to know where this conversation was headed.
“You’ve never needed to.” Neuvillette continues. “and yet…you’re in it now.”
“With the waters over Meropide clinging to your feet and dress—“
Furina lets out a laugh at that. She’s quick to stop herself, immediately feeling shameful at the outburst. She knows that it must feel like she’s laughing at Neuvillette’s worries. But in truth, she’s laughing at how he readily gives her an excuse for her appearance and actions— and at times, for her existence. She’s thankful that she was able to stop her laughter, knowing how well her pain could change its sound. It hurts her knowing that he trusts her so much and all she could give him are half truths and lies.
“You have the wrong idea!” She says, masking her dread with the sound of breathless joy. “Truly!” Furina takes a deep breath as she puts up her mask once more. It’s clear to her that Neuvillette needs Focalors and not her.
“Neuvillette,” His name felt heavy on her tongue as she prepared her act. “Can you imagine me being seen in a nightgown standing atop the waters over Meropide?”
“Not that I’d mind, but think of the headlines and photos!”
“This was unfortunately the fastest thing that I could —uhm—ah… materialize while rushing over the epicenter of the tremor.” She explains. Furina managed to push out a plea for her apology before her voice could tremble and crack under her facade. She consoles herself with the fact that all of her words weren’t necessarily lies. She revels in the silence that lays with them. A moment of reprieve in the midst of her attempt.
Her heart is a different subject. With every breath of silence that Neuvillette made her wait, it sank deeper and deeper into her being. It’s filled with guilt as she plays her words over and over again. She's given him half-truths; statements that neither imply her mortal nature, and yet, it couldn’t refute her divinity.
“If that’s really all there is to it,” Neuvillette’s voice pierces through her thoughts, fishing for her attention and reeling it back to the present. “Then may I see you?”
Furina smiles bitterly at the request.
“Do you not trust my words?” Furina frowns at the way her irritation bled into her tone.
“I trust your words.” He replies. “But I need to see you.”
“I need to see…” Furina frowns as she hears the hesitation in his voice. She could hear him asking for her honesty just like before. She feels his desire to know and see the truth; It’s in the way his grip on her tightens and loosens, only for him to tremble against her amidst his conflicting and confusing thoughts. It pains her to deny him that. “Lady Furina—“
“I’m sorry.” Furina whispers to herself as she wipes away her tears before pushing herself up to lean over him. It took all of her energy to free her hand from his grasps. She doesn’t allow him to search for her too long as she slots her other hand into his hold, entwining their fingers once more to calm him. She doesn’t give him the time to react and push against her as she pins him down by his shoulder. She sees the way his eyes lose their shine as she blocks the moonlight. There’s a look of surprise; and all she could do is momentarily breath a sigh of relief at seeing her reflection in his eyes.
Furina’s curls fell forward, curtaining the stream of tears that ran from her eyes to her ears. Her veil cascades along the side of her head and drapes over her and Neuvillette. It provided an ounce of privacy, allowing Furing to focus on Neuvillette. She sees the way his lips are pressed against each other, forming a thin line that holds all of his words back. She sees the way his attention is solely fixed on her as her own reflection in his eyes stare back at her. His silent plea to see her is loud and clear to her. As much as she wants to reveal that to him, she knows that what he needs is Focalors.
“What a needy Chief Justice.” Furina teases as she slides her hand off his shoulder and places it by his face. “There, happy?” She asks, offering him the best smile she could muster. Tender silence greets her as Neuvillette simply stares up at her. She could see the way his focus would dictate where his diamond shaped irises darted to, as if he’s drinking up the image of her.
Furina eyes the hand that broke the barrier of her veil, curious as to the sudden courage displayed by Neuvillette. She shivers when he brushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Furina tilts her head to follow his warmth. She finds herself nuzzling her cheek against his gloved hand, giving in to her need for comfort and care.
And despite her best efforts to put up her facade, Furina feels it crumbling off with every blink of his eyes. That every time her eyes meet his again, and again, and again, he chips away at the broken mask that she's so desperate to keep. Until finally, all that’s left of it, are the pieces between his palm and her cheek.
“There you are.” He sighs as he starts to run his thumb across her cheek. Furina lets go of her breath shakily as the act reminds her of wiping away one’s tears. As if Neuvillette himself is ridding her of those rivulets of sorrow. She presses her cheek against his palm, nuzzling against it once more as she replies.
“I’m here.” Her voice trembles. “I’m still here, Neuvillette.”
“You’re still here.” He repeats, continuing his gentle ministrations. “Furina you’re still here.”
She breaks.
A small part of her is relieved at that reality. But a bigger part of her is pained at her own existence. Afterall, if she’s still here, it means that the prophecy has yet to pass; that she still has to continue her solo act in the hopes of her ‘Mirror-Me’ succeeding.
“I know.” She closes her eyes, unable to stare at his silvery lilac eyes. “I…I know that and yet…”
I’m not here all the same.
I’m…gone.
Lost.
So lost.
You’re holding someone who isn’t here,
You’re keeping someone who was never here…
Neither Focalors…
and yet…neither me as well.
“You’re here, with me.” He whispers. Furina feels the desperation in the way his free hand wrapped around her waist, weighing her down against him. As if he’s trying to keep him close to her and keep her from being taken from him. “You’re here.” He continues.
“You’re still here. You’re safe.”
She falls apart.
Under Neuvillette’s gentle touch,
Her body enveloped in his arms,
And those fragile, cloud gray eyes filled with genuine care and concern,
Furina’s carefully constructed falsities unravel as Neuvillette’s sincerity pulls at the edges of her resolve. Every note of his voice tugs at her strings of lies; undoing the knots she’s carefully woven and pulled tight.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Neuvillette promises, and all she could do is break.
She breaks her own heart by reminding her that his kindness isn’t for her.
She shatters her promise to be true to him by choosing to hide away,
Furina breaks and falls apart under his touch,
Unable to withstand and accept the weight of Neuvillette’s genuine love and care.
Her body shakes with fear and uncertainty,
This vulnerability that she’s feeling drowns her and she wishes nothing more than to run to something familiar,
Something that she knows that’ll keep her safe from prying eyes,
She clings onto the promises,
Grabs onto the cold hope that she’s often held close to her chest,
And she embraces it as her only salvation in this harrowing time.
And it breaks her.
It tears her into pieces.
Knowing that that very familiar feeling could be Neuvillette—
“Hide me, Neuvillette.” She pleads.
And yet, it could never be him.
All because his judgment, should he ever find out, could break her even further. And in turn, doom the very nation that he has come to care for. The same nation that Furina had died everyday for.
Furina breaks once more as she ultimately sought the comfort of her solitude.
She doesn’t fight against Neuvillette’s touch when he guides her to lay on her side. She tries to not dwell too much on how gentle he caresses her cheek, or how his fingers carefully threaded through her hair. Her hands sought him out when she could no longer feel him, afraid to lose her anchor to the present; scared that she’ll never be able to ground herself once she loses the one thing that keeps her tethered to her reality.
Furina sighs as she wraps her arms around him; her driftwood in the sea of her isolation, offering her the sole hope in the midst of the tides of her emotions and thoughts. She clings onto him tighter when she feels his hand brush against the spot on her back. But nothing comes of it as he holds her by the shoulder and her waist.
The hum of silence settles between them, but ever the curious and relentless tide, Neuvillette fills the void with questions.
What is it?
What’s making you doubt that you’re here?
“Many things.” Furina whispered in her mind. She pressed her forehead against his chest, trying to ride out the tides of her feelings of abandonment and isolation.“Nothing.” She declares.
“It’s just a rare occasion to be able to stargaze with you.” she says, offering a truth to him. She flinches when he growls out her name; a warning that his patience is running thin now.
“Truly!” She insists. Afterall, it isn’t a lie, she can’t believe the events of the night. If it weren’t for the pain on her back, or the ache of her cheeks from being rubbed raw from her tears, she would think that she’s dreaming. “I’m amazed that I’m able to watch the stars with you.” She finishes. She leans against him as he holds her tighter.
“You’ve asked me to hide you and keep you safe.” Neuvillette starts. “I’ve hidden you, but have I been able to fulfill the second half of your request?”
“Do you feel safe with me?” Furina feels the unasked question in the way his embrace loosened, only to tighten in a breaths’ passing. She could see it in the glance she stole; the way his eyes stared at her, twinkling in anticipation, brows furrowed, while his lips tried desperately to not give into the frown tugging at its corners.
Oh how Furina wishes she can reach up and smooth over the lines of his worries. To gently massage the spot between his brows and run her thumbs at the corner of his lips to make him lose that sulken curve. She brings some distance between them, giving him one of her most sincere smiles in a long while.
“And just as promised, I’ll stop saying that ‘Fontaine is blessed to have you.’” She declared. Her smile is met with a pained stare— one that screams distrust and rejection.
“You don’t look too happy about ‘winning’” she whispers.
“How can I, when I know that you’re simply faking it?”
“What?” Furina scowls—after all the lies she fed him, he refuses this one ounce of truth. “How…how absurd!”
“You…you think I would lie to you!?”
His silence stabs at her.
“Neuvillette!” She cries. “I would never lie to you! Or give you such a hollow victory!”
His unchanging stare screams of his skepticism over the idea. It corners her thoughts, fixating on the need to prove to him her truth. She tries to tell him that she feels at ease around him and Clorinde. She bites her tongue when she nearly mentions that accursed meeting with the Knave. It is a strong example of his presence easing her worries, but she doesn’t want to steer their discussion towards the ‘Father’ of the House of the Hearth.
The silence between them suffocates her. She feels herself shrinking with each blink of his eyes. She can’t decipher the thoughts that openly displayed in his expression. She’s lost track of which route his worries are taking, rendering her breathless in anticipation.
She tenses when she sees him take in a deep breath.
“You’ve been anxious lately, frightful even.” He starts. She pushes gently against him as she feels him tighten his hold around her. It’s almost like he’s trying to keep her with him; as if he’s scared that she’ll flee from him. “I hear a hint of fear in your voice as you contemplate if you’re truly here with me.”
“Because it bewilders me that I’m still here carrying on as I am!” She wanted to yell.
“Every day I pray for the end of my act. Every second I wish for the curtain call to announce my departure—“
“To finally lay down this burden of being chosen by my god to assist her in her scheme.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this facade,”
“How much longer I’m going to carry on with my loneliness and solitude!”
“It frightens me that this will never end— that me being here with you means lying to you and everyone for another day.”
“And I cannot break, Neuvillette, I cannot crumble to my pain and helplessness.”
Her feelings of hopelessness bubbles up within her. Furina clamps her lips shut, containing all of her despair away from him. She knows deep down that she cannot falter on her resolve to buy her ‘Mirror-Me’ as much time as she needs to avert the prophecy.
“Please.” Neuvillette pleads. He asks her of her secrets once more, eliciting an instinctual ‘nothing’. But ever the efficient Iudex, Neuvillette strikes her protest down.
“It’s not nothing!” He argues. “I’ve noticed some changes—“ Furina’s lungs burned as she continued to hold her breath while Neuvillette listed his evidence. Her mind buzzes with thoughts, all shouting at her to say anything to derail his line of thinking. To disrupt yet go along with his logic.
“Something or someone is making you anxious—“
Furina fails to stop a pained smile as he gives her an answer she can provide. And of course he steers them to the direction that she’s hesitant to approach. But at this point, what other truths can she tell him? Furina reasons that she only has herself to blame for feeding this misdirection of sorts.
“The Knave.” She breathes out. She shudders as the cold breeze runs past them. “Really, you couldn’t have left that stone unturned?”
“What happened?” He growls. “Did she hurt you?”
Furina looks away from him, burying her face onto his chest. She admits what she could to him. She tells him of the anxiety that grabs her when she’s around the ‘Father’ of the House of the Hearth. Furina hears her own voice lose any semblance of resistance. Her tone is flat and delivery impassioned as she keeps the feeling of dread away.
“I have nothing concrete—“she reasons.
“You don’t need evidence to convince me.” Neuvillette interrupts.
“You’re the Iudex.” She states, looking up at him out of confusion. “How could you say such a thing?” She leaves unsaid as her eyes meet his.
“That has nothing to do with whether or not I choose to believe you.” He replies. Furina shakes her head at his answers. A silent request for him to not do such a foolish thing. It’s an honest attempt to tell him that he should doubt her. It’s tragically comedic how Neuvillette refuses the truths she offers, all while accepting her lies without much question.
“Is there anything I can do?” Neuvillette asks. “To ease this distress? To calm your fears?” She shakes her head, unable to fathom the idea of ever feeling safe like before. The voices in her head agrees for once, ceasing their clamors and demands.
But it’s a fleeting moment of silence as a whisper in her mind breaks it.
“Look at you, so weak in the face of someone with true power. The least you can do is carry on for the sake of Fontaine.”
“Furina—“
“I don’t know.” she interrupts. “I don’t even think that I have the time to feel ‘distress’ or be afraid.”
“I have a nation trapped between the fate of dissolving into the water or sinking by the rain.”
“I don’t have time to be distressed or hurt or to be sad.”
“What will my people think?! What will they do if they see their Archon falter?”
“The fear I feel is temporary, it goes away after a moment, so surely—” Her soliloquy is interrupted as she feels his finger under her chin. Furina doesn’t fight against him as he directs her to look at him.
“Don’t you dare tell me that it’s nothing.” He whispers. Furina fails to stop herself from inching her face closer to his when he leaned his closer to hers. “Even if the feeling is temporary, even if it fades away, it matters.”
Furina sucks in a deep breath, remembering these words that she’s told him centuries ago. When Neuvillette was still confused and perplexed by the intensity of his emotions and suppressed them (much to the surprise of everyone in Fontaine).
“You told me to cherish and to acknowledge each emotion I feel.”
“I did but—“
“So now, I ask that you do the same.”
“I can’t—“
“Please, Furina, do not hide from me what you’re truly feeling.” He implores.
“But I must.” Her vision blurs as she keeps her words from him. She purses her lips, afraid that the constant wave of emotions would let anything slip by. It’s a futile attempt as Neuvillette wipes away her tears, and she tries to refute this kindness. She shakes her head at his touch, pushing herself away from him to bring about the distance that she’s used to.
“N-no.” She starts, her voice shaking as she tries to stop herself from talking. “I can’t.”
“I cannot do that Neuvillette, do not ask for the impossible—” She falters when she sees his brows knit with her rejection. “I can’t possibly trouble you anymore than I already do.”
“As Fontaine’s Archon, I should’ve been strong enough to protect myself and yet I had lowered my guard and it resulted in harm coming my way.”
“You’re already doing so much, for Fontaine, consoling me shouldn’t be your responsibility!”
“And besides, you’re the Iudex! You have other things to worry about other than me—”
“Is that all I am to you?” He asks, his tone drenched in an unfamiliar ache that stabbed at her. His pained smile twisted that dagger in her heart, rendering her weak against his hold. She wonders if Neuvillette knew just how much it hurt to hear his quiet chuckle, weak and frail from her constant rejection. He doesn’t allow her to hear another one as she allows him to hold her closer, pressing her head against his chest. She trembles as she feel his fingers card through her hair, the tips of his gloved fingers gently scratching at her scalp before his hand settles as the nape of her neck, cradling it as he holds her tighter. “Simply Fontaine’s Iudex?” He whispers.
Furina shudders as she feels the words land on her scalp, accompanied by the breath of his sigh.
“In the 400 years that I’ve served you in this capacity…” A pause, followed by his fingers curling around the back of her neck, tangling her long tresses around his fingers. “I’m nothing but your Chief Justice?” She shakes her head at his words. His hand stills at this, and Furina could’ve sworn that she felt his lips press atop her veiled crown.
“You’re…you’re far more than that.” She replies. She shudders as she feels another sigh escape his lips.
“Then rely on me as your ‘more than that.’” She sucks in a breath, dread filling her as he asks for another impossibility from her. “Let me exist to you as someone you can depend on, not only for Fontaine, but for yourself.”
“Oh.” Numbness takes over Furina’s senses as the pain of refusing his kindness fills her veins.
“No.” She thinks.
“To rely on him for myself…about Fontaine and my duties entrusted to me…”
“No no no, I can’t— it’s not right.”
“To let him be more…that’s…that’s too dangerous.”
“It’ll jeopardize everything—I can’t.”
“It’ll put him in danger,”
“It’ll put all of Fontaine in danger if I allow this.”
“And…and that would be…”
“That would be too cruel.” The words slips past her lips. She fails to stop the rest that followed. “T-to start doing that now…it would be too cruel.”
“How?” Neuvillette asks. She holds onto him tighter, refusing to answer.
“Just…” She takes a deep breath. “Stay with me tonight.”
“Stay with me for the night and keep me safe, and I promise you, I’ll be fine come morning light.” She silently thanks him as she hears him acquiesce to her request again.
“You don’t have to promise me anything.” Was the last thing she heard before she breaks from his kindness for the upteenth time in her life.