Archive of Our Own ^beta

“So, that’s all for this week. I’ll upload everything to our course later, including the reading for next week. Have a good weekend, and stay healthy, everyone!” A chorus of exhausted and mumbled goodbyes crackled through Taehyung’s laptop speakers and then the Zoom call ended just as suddenly as it had begun. He stared at his screen for another minute, then looked down at his half heartedly scribbled notes and sighed.

“Good job, Taehyung-ah, real good notes.” With another sigh, he dropped his notes on the keypad and shut his laptop on them. There was no point in taking notes really. Professor Lee uploaded her whole PowerPoint and session notes to the course, so he would have everything he needed to write his paper at the end of term. If he even made it to the end of term. If anyone even made it to the end of term. With the way this online university thing was going, it would be quite the feat, making it to the end of term.

His gaze drifted to his window, the only one big enough in his tiny flat to actually let in a good portion of sunlight. During the day, at least. Now, it offered him a glimpse into the lives of his neighbours, a peek into their living rooms. It felt like he was looking at a bunch of little screens again. Which was what most of his life was like these days. Just switching from screen to screen, clicking from app to app, changing from channel to channel. Tonight, Channel One, aka the window directly opposite his, was showing a family playing a board game together, arguing but also laughing. Channel Two, the window to the left, was airing an elderly couple, curled together on the couch, watching TV themselves. Channel Three, the window one above the family’s, was showing a couple slowly dancing in the soft light of their living room. He heaved another sigh, that burning in his chest making itself known again. That terrible ache of loneliness.

He got up from his desk, snatched his phone up from where it had been charging by his bed, and facetimed his eomma. Like he did every night. As his phone rang, he walked to his tiny kitchen, determined to get his easy student dinner started. Like he did every night. He set the packet of ramen down next to his phone, placing it on the stack of cooking books his halmeoni kept gifting him that he had yet to use. Like he did every night. Same old, same old.

“Have you eaten yet? You look tired!” His eomma’s face was far too close to the screen, as it usually was. In the background he could hear his younger siblings arguing, as they usually were. He also heard his appa banging around pots in the kitchen, as he usually was. It all sounded so familiar, so homely, it made the burn in his chest worse. He could practically smell the food cooking, feel the warmth coming from the stove. If he were at home now, he would be sitting at the kitchen table, probably reading or writing. Trying to concentrate while his eomma would question him about his day and stroke his hair softly. While his appa hummed his favourite trot song, while his siblings bickered. He would be basking in the warmth and comfort of a home, not shivering in his always slightly too cold kitchen. It seemed no matter what he tried to cook it never quite warmed up as much as the one at home.

“I miss you,” Taehyung confessed, the burning unbearable. His eomma’s face broke a little.

“Oh, my son, I miss you, too. We all miss you.” She pulled the phone back from her face, extending her arm above, capturing his appa standing at the stove, his siblings in the far background in front of the TV. “Say hi to our Taehyungie, everyone.” His appa smiled big, waving his cooking chopsticks at him. His siblings yelled their greetings without taking their eyes off the screen or their hands off their controllers. It soothed the burning, if only minutely.

“I just wish you could give me a hug.” He didn’t mean to pout, but his mouth often did things without his permission. “Hugs just make everything better.”

“I know, my son, I know. I wish I could give you one, but you know why I can’t.” His eomma’s pout matched his own. “We’re living in some unprecedented times.”

“I miss when times were precedented,” Taehyung whined. His eomma’s laugh trilled through his phone speakers, harmonising with his appa’s deep rumble perfectly. His parents really were a match made in heaven. He missed them. He missed them and their harmonising laughs and their good hugs. Truly, his parents might as well have invented the hug, that’s how good they were at them. Taehyung had grown up with hugs and cuddles galore, his hands rarely unheld, his hair rarely unruffled or stroked.

It was now, miles away from home again in his single one bedroom university flat, physically as well as socially distanced, that he realised how privileged he’d been. How he’d never been this wanting of a hug before. They had always been readily available to him, given to him freely without hesitation or trepidation. Now, they were a hot commodity, the hottest commodity. So hot in fact, there was no way Taehyung was about to get his hands on one.

“So, what are you going to cook, mhm? I sincerely hope it’s not just ramen again.” Taehyung eyed the packet of ramen he had already laid out next to his phone.

“Uhm, no?”

It was much later, when he was already in bed, doomscrolling through Twitter that he stumbled upon the word.

Touchstarved.

He clicked on the thread, What to do when these days have you feeling touchstarved. The second tweet was about what being touchstarved meant. How human beings are wired to be touched, how important physical touch is for one’s mental health. And how being deprived of touch can have some serious consequences. The next tweet read how normal it was to feel touchstarved in these times, what with everyone being confined to their homes, their computers, and their online worlds. Taehyung felt a flicker of relief, of comfort too, knowing it was not just him. That he was just as human as everyone else. The fourth tweet recommended cuddling with a pet, but since his building was strictly anti-pets that was off the table. The fifth tweet suggested hugging a stuffed animal or a fluffy pillow.

“Way ahead of you, tweeter,” he whispered, curling his arms tighter around the big whale plushie he was currently crushing to his chest.

The suggestion following that was to read romance books or even fanfic, and seeing as he had returned to Twitter after finishing his current Draco/Harry fic, he didn’t see how that would help. If anything, it had worsened the need for a hug, for gentle fingers to trail down the back of his neck, for a body to curl up to. He hugged Whaley (yes, he had named the whale plushie Whaley, but in his defence, he had also been seven at that time) tighter and continued scrolling down the thread.

Soft clothes? He was already wearing his cosiest pyjama set, a gift from his halmeoni that he had appreciated a little more than the cookbooks. The thread’s helpfulness was steadily declining, so in a last ditch effort, he decided to take a look at some of the replies.

Alas, he quickly realised that the level of helpfulness decreased even more the lower he scrolled. One user recommended having a “cuddle party” and was even willing to host it at their place, which wasn’t quite in line with the whole social distancing agenda and also just slightly creepy. Grimacing, Taehyung clicked out of the thread and locked his phone. He huffed, frustrated that Twitter hadn’t been as helpful as he had wanted it to be, but really, that was no surprise. Twitter wasn’t exactly known for its general helpfulness and expertise.

“Touchstarved,” he whispered into his room, still clutching Whaley tightly. Was that really what he was? If asked, he might have described it more as a burning sensation, but the hunger metaphor worked just as well, when he thought about it. He was starved, parched, hungry, thirsty—all of it—for someone to hold his hand. For someone to play with his hair, link arms while walking, and throw an arm around him. Friendly touches, casual touches, the kind he never really thought about much before. The ones he had accepted and distributed in equal measure. But he hadn’t seen his friends in months. He had moved to a different city, excited to start a new chapter of his life and make some new friends. But then the world had kind of stopped and he never really got to know any of his new classmates, while his friends remained miles away in the town he had moved out of, which limited their hangouts to the online realm. And at first, he had been fine with that, obviously. He understood why his classes were online, why he couldn’t meet up with his new classmates. Obviously, he also knew that moving away from his secure friend group he’d had for years (and was also planning on keeping for years to come) wouldn’t all be sunshine and daisies. But he hadn’t fully realised how bad it had gotten until today. Before giving up and just falling asleep, however, he decided to give Google a try. The first article he clicked on was hopefully about to yield more results than that odd Twitter thread.

This past year has been tough on us all. If you’re feeling a little touch deprived and want to soothe that inherently human need, we’ve got some helpful tips for you!

The first few tips were things he was already doing: the plushie, the soft clothes, the consuming content. He scrolled past dozens of GIFs (seriously, there were too many GIFs, he started to wonder if it could still count as an article if it was just a ton of GIFs occasionally interspersed with the written word), before one of them caught his eye. It was a GIF of someone getting their hair washed.

Could that help?

Getting your hair washed by someone else can be very soothing and release some of those sweet, sweet endorphins! For those single gals and guys, and non-binary pals out there, we recommend going to your local hairdresser’s and just … get your hair washed! It’ll work like a charm, trust us!

Taehyung was not someone to immediately trust a source that was more GIFs than words, but the mere thought of someone massaging his scalp had the burning in his chest calm to a warm ember. It was worth a shot, right? If it didn’t do the trick, well then at least he would have that particular “I’ve just come from the hairdresser’s and I feel fabulous” feeling and that already made it seem worth it.

With just a couple of clicks, he was booking an appointment for a hair wash and styling at a modern-looking salon that was within walking distance of his flat. Thank God hairdresser’s were still up and running. Appointments for the next morning were already booked, but there was a 30 minute slot for Sunday at 10:30 am. For a moment he found himself hesitating again, questioning if it was even worth it, if he was being irresponsible for going out when he really didn’t need to. But maybe he did need this more than he was consciously willing to admit. The burning sensation beneath his skin certainly thought it was necessary.

The appointment would be with a guy named Jeongguk, who didn’t have a staff photo on the website. Taehyung chose him anyway, too caught up in the chaos of his thoughts to hesitate any longer. A final press of his thumb confirmed the appointment. He pressed a kiss to Whaley’s soft head.

“Look, Whaley, we gotta do, what we gotta do. On Sunday I am goint to get my hair washed and hunger satiated by a lovely man named Jeongguk.” Whaley said nothing, but Taehyung felt his stare. “Touch hunger. As in my hunger for touch. As in touch starved?” Whaley remained silent.

“Whatever, you silly whale,” Taehyung grumbled, embarrassed and sleepy. He stuck his phone under his pillow. With his eyes closed, he realised he had been talking to Whaley again as if he were an actual person and not a ratty old plushie he’d had for more than 15 years. Then, it all seemed crystal clear. “I need to speak to an actual human being in actual real life again.”

This time, Whaley’s silence was one of agreement.

Sunday morning was there before Taehyung knew it. He woke up at 7 a.m. for some unknown reason, but resolutely refused to get out of bed until he deemed it an appropriate time to be up on a Sunday. Which ultimately turned out to be 8:45 a.m. He went about his morning routine, purposefully avoiding touching his hair. Jeongguk would hopefully be taking good care of that. As he fried his breakfast egg, he let himself think about what he was about to do and was hit with a pang of insecurity. And when that happened, there was only one person to call.

“You better have a good reason for calling or I am calling my lawyer next and then I’m going to sue you and you’re going to go to prison and—”

“Always so delightful in the morning, Jiminie.” Taehyung grinned and lodged his phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be Hoseok-hyung and just be born with a sunny disposition,” Jimin grumbled, voice gravelly like he hadn’t had a sip of water in years. “So, what do you want?”

“What? Can’t I just want to talk to my favourite person in the—”

“Taehyung-ah.”

“Alright, uhm,” he deposited his freshly fried egg into his little bowl of rice. “I have a hairdresser’s appointment this morning to get my hair washed because I’m severely touchstarved and I read online that this could help.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” He left the pan on the unused stove top and sprinkled his egg and rice with a dash of soy sauce and sesame seeds, giving Jimin time to compute what had just been said. These really were unprecedented times.

“Well, that sounds reasonable.”

With a mouthful of rice and egg, Taehyung mumbled, “Does it? I was so sure when I made the appointment on Friday but now...” He swallowed. “Now I feel a bit sad and desperate.”

“No, Taehyung-ah, you’re not desperate. It’s really nice to have someone wash your hair for you. I make Yoongi-hyung do it all the time.” Taehyung could hear the rustling of bedsheets on the other side of the line. He stuffed his mouth full of more rice. “It’s a really intimate thing.”

“Are you stroking through Yoongi-hyung’s hair right now?”

“Naturally,” Jimin sighed. Taehyung kept munching on his breakfast, steadfastly ignoring the burn in his chest again. It must be nice to not live alone when catastrophic global events unfold.

“But I’m not getting my boyfriend to do it, it’s just the guy from the hairdresser’s.”

“So? I mean as long as you don’t go making any uncomfortable advances on the guy, you should be fine. Just relax and enjoy the service you paid for.” Taehyung grimaced at the phrasing and heard a bark of laughter crackle through the phone.

“Why did you have to say it like that?” He whined.

“It’s a joke! I’m funny!” Taehyung protested the statement, even if he knew at his core it was true. Their conversation drifted off into what Jimin had gotten up to last night after Yoongi’s usual 10 p.m. bedtime, which revealed Jimin had only gone to bed a mere two hours before Taehyung’s call because he’d been too engrossed in his video game to sleep at a reasonable hour. When they said their goodbyes a short while later, Taehyung felt significantly more at ease again. He set his now empty bowl down in the sink and squared his shoulders.

He could do this. He was taking care of himself. He was okay.

The nerves returned full force when he was sitting on the sleek leather couch in the salon, waiting for his appointment. The floor-to-ceiling windows flooded the salon with natural light. The receptionist with the hair in a somewhat alarming shade of blue had told him that Jeongguk was running a little late, so he should just take a seat while he waits. That suited Taehyung just fine; gave him a moment to steady his erratic heartbeat. Despite the modern interior, there seemed to be only old people at the salon. An elderly woman was getting her hair permed, reading through one of those celebrity gossip magazines. Two other women were gossiping in real life, seated under those weird contraptions that looked like they were spare spaceship parts. Taehyung guessed they were probably the blow-dryers. Another old woman was getting her hair cut, while chattering nineteen to the dozen with the girl cutting her hair.

Really, Taehyung should have anticipated this. It was before 11 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Most people his age weren’t even awake yet. Jimin certainly hadn’t been.

He was unable to stop his knee from bouncing a little, anxiety kicking in again. Was he being too desperate? Should he just be sucking it up? Was he an old lady getting a perm on a Sunday morning? Knee bouncing and chewing his lip, he barely noticed the guy walking up to him.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi?” Taehyung looked up at the sound of his name and was met with the kind gaze of a guy who looked like he could easily snap him in two, but chose not to. He was wearing black jeans with a sleeveless black T-Shirt, showing off his full sleeve of tattoos on his right arm as well as his impressive biceps. His hair was jet black, cut to a mullet stye and impeccably styled to show off his forehead and his pierced eyebrow. Half of his face was covered by his black facemask, but Taehyung was kind of a little bit immediately smitten.

“Yes, that’s me.” His voice sounded foreign, a little pitchier than it usually was. Perfect.

“Great, I’m Jeon Jeongguk. You booked a hair wash and style, right?” Jeongguk’s eyes betrayed the smile that was hiding behind his mask and Taehyung once again cursed the timeline he was living through right now that denied him the opportunity to see it. There seemed to be no end to the disappointments at the moment. Taehyung nodded in response, distrusting of his voice to not betray him again.

“Right then, this way, please.” Jeongguk guided Taehyung to the wash station, past all the old women, whose gazes followed Jeongguk as he walked by. Taehyung could not blame them, as he too was trying to not let his gaze drift too far down Jeongguk’s backside. No uncomfortable advances, Jimin had said. He was going to stick to that rule.

“Alright, take a seat,” Jeongguk said. The seat was heavenly, soft leather like the couch from the waiting area, and Taehyung had to actively stifle a sigh. The need to stifle any sounds coming out of his mouth became stronger the second Jeongguk gently ran his fingers through his hair.

“If at any point the water is too hot or too cold, or my fingers are too rough, you give me a shout, yeah?” Taehyung made a squeak of a sound, which he hoped Jeongguk would read as his understanding, tongue too tied up to work. He heard Jeongguk turn the water on, his fingers splashing around under the tap, finding the right temperature. When he deemed the water alright, he directed the stream at Taehyung’s scalp and again, Taehyung fought the urge to outright moan.

Jeongguk was so gentle. So, so incredibly gentle. His fingers carefully threaded through his hair, softly massaging his scalp and Taehyung was seconds away from outright crying. He felt his eyes fall shut, his shoulders relaxed and his body melted even further into the chair. When Jeongguk started massaging the shampoo into Taehyung’s scalp, the thought that he might have died and gone to heaven genuinely crossed his mind. It was everything he had hoped it would be, Jeongguk’s fingers exerting just the right amount of pressure, never working on one spot too long. It felt like finally eating a good meal after a whole day of work. It felt like a large glass of water after hours in the sun. It felt like the only thing keeping Taehyung tethered to this plane of existence were Jeongguk’s fingers and the magic they were working on his scalp. Taehyung kept his mouth clamped shut, terrified of potentially drooling all over himself. Even if his own mask might obscure it, he was not about to embarrass himself this thoroughly over someone touching his head. Nevermind, this someone was a particularly hot hairdresser. All the more reason for Taehyung to get a grip. But then, when Jeongguk’s hands gently cradled the back of Taehyung’s head, he felt tears pricking his eyes.

God damn it, he had been really fucking starving.

He had gone from opulent 7-course meals every day to absolutely nothing, from one day to the next. He’d been gorging himself on touches his whole life only for them to be ripped away in an instant. Oddly, he hadn’t noticed at first, still too full from the time before. Then, he was too engrossed with organising digital hangouts, group Zoom calls and full Among Us lobbies. He had been too distracted learning silly TikTok dances, failing at baking banana bread and avoiding the news to notice how badly he had been missing out on the most essential, most important thing: a comforting touch. So, maybe, after all that, he was entitled to tearing up a little.

Jeongguk turned the water on again, letting it cascade down from the top of Taehyung’s head to the ends of his hair. He squeezed his eyes tighter, willing the tears to stay where they were.

“Too cold?” Taehyung heard Jeongguk ask, which made him open his eyes to stare up at the angel cradling the back of his head.

“No—uhm, no.” He tried to get his feet to work, to push himself up the chair a little, trying to be more of a human and less of a blob. He failed. “Water’s perfect.”

Jeongguk’s eyes turned into crescent half-moons and didn’t notice his blobbiness. Taehyung thanked the universe, clamping his mouth shut again. “Good.”

With slow and gentle movements Jeongguk rinsed his hair free of shampoo, and Taehyung relaxed into the chair again. He pushed his heart down from his throat back to its rightful place, determined to enjoy the rest of the experience. As he was floating through another dimension, teetering on the edge of sleep, he heard Jeongguk’s soft voice tell him, “Lift your head a little.” He did as told and then his hair was being wrapped up in the softest, fluffiest towel he’d ever had the pleasure of feeling on his scalp. He was helpless against the sigh that escaped his lips.

“Feels good?” Jeongguk asked him and Taehyung could hear the smile in his tone. He was too relaxed to be embarrassed though, signing himself off to being more blob than human, and simply nodded. “So good.”

Jeongguk chuckled, securing the towel around Taehyung’s head. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Taehyung floated over to the other chairs, completely oblivious to the elderly women still gossiping, and plopped down into the chair at Jeongguk’s station. He was a changed man, born again just by having his hair washed by someone else. How had he never thought of this before? How could he have forgotten how relaxing it was to get your hair washed? He supposed he had always been too preoccupied by the new haircut he had received to retain how incredible the hair washing part was. It was more likely, however, that he had never been this deprived of skinship before, the hair washing had never registered as this life changing. He barely noticed Jeongguk coming up to the chair he was sitting on. Looking at Taehyung in the mirror, his eyes betrayed his smile again as he gently dropped his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders. They were the only thing keeping Taehyung from floating into outer space.

“Now, let’s get your hair dried and styled, shall we?”

“Yes, please.”

Taehyung closed his eyes again as soon as he felt Jeongguk’s hands weave through his hair once more, a little less gentle in their ruffling as he blow dried Taehyung’s hair. He made sure he never got the hot hair too close to Taehyung's scalp, never stayed in one place too long. He didn’t bother with small talk, which Taehyung was immensely grateful for. He just did his job, kept Taehyung here on Earth while simultaneously showing him Heaven.

“All done,” he announced softly, to which Taehyung slowly blinked his eyes open again. The second he saw himself in the mirror he had to blink again, because holy shit he looked incredible. His hair looked soft and fluffy, styled in an effortlessly elegant way that revealed how skilled Jeongguk really was.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to say.” It was the truth, but he immediately hated the way Jeongguk’s eyebrows pinched together.

“Oh, well, uhm, I’m so—”

“No! No! I meant.” He ran a hand through his hair carefully, to see if it was as soft to the touch as it looked. It was. “I meant that in, like, in a positive way. Like I’m speechless. Like you’ve blown me away.”

“Oh.” The tips of Jeongguk’s ears turned a little red and Taehyung willed his own to remain their natural colour. “That’s good then. I’m here every week, at your service.”

It took him about two days to cave and make another appointment with Jeongguk. Distracted during one of his online lectures again, he had replayed the memories of his last visit, basking in the floatiness he had felt when Jeongguk had gently massaged his scalp, when he had softly run his fingers through Taehyung’s hair, how his eyes had sparkled and crescented, how the tips of his ears had gone red, how his biceps had—

His professor had chosen that exact moment to remind them all that despite everything, life went on and they should seize every day. So, Taehyung had done just that. Seized the day. Booked an appointment to get his hair washed by a handsome man.

The way Jeongguk’s eyes lit up in recognition when he had walked into the salon that following Sunday made all of Taehyung’s worries over looking too desperate disappear into thin air.

“Kim Taehyung-ssi! You’re back!”

“Yep,” Taehyung said, grateful for the mask covering his reddened cheeks. There was no reason to get excited, Jeongguk knew his name because he had used it to book the appointment.

“The same as last time?”

Taehyung nodded.

“Right this way then,” Jeongguk chirped and Taehyung, while grateful for the mask covering his face, found himself cursing the mask covering Jeongguk’s. But that feeling didn’t last for long, because before Taehyung knew it, he was floating around between the clouds again, more soul than body, more an idea than anything concrete.

It became part of his routine. Online classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday he did his readings, worked on his assignments, learned another TikTok dance, and tinkered about his flat. In the evenings he called his family. Saturday he slept in, chatted with Jimin and Yoongi via FaceTime. Lost against Namjoon in online chess, while they talked about their existential dread on the phone. Fell asleep to a 120-minute YouTube video on the cinematic universe of one church’s odd Easter plays. Sunday he went to see Jeongguk and got his weekly dose of touch. And if he was honest, Sunday was the best part of his week. Not just because of the ridiculously relaxing experience of getting his hair washed by what Taehyung was now pretty sure was the hottest guy he’d ever seen, but also because his hair felt incredible and it looked like it until his next appointment. Maybe Taehyung was also deluding himself a little, but he could have sworn that sometimes … sometimes Jeongguk’s fingers lingered a little. Just on his shoulders after asking Taehyung if he was happy with the results. A guiding touch to his elbow when he directed Taehyung to an empty chair. The kind of touches that Taehyung was so used to before everything went to hell, the touches he would initiate himself with the people he was starting to think of as his friends. The touches he had come to miss so desperately. Their reappearance into his life was unlikely to go unnoticed.

As usual, as Jeongguk went through the final touches of applying magic to Taehyung’s hair, Taehyung basked in the feel of Jeongguk’s skilled fingers massaging his scalp. He had gotten more comfortable with Jeongguk over the course of the last visits, comfortable enough to start arguing over whether what Jeongguk was doing to his hair was magic or just some really high quality hair oil.

“This brand does a lot of research. In the end it’s just science.” Taehyung would have none of that.

“Don’t diminish the magic happening here as mere science.”

Jeongguk released a pitchy little giggle, the one that had Taehyung’s heart squeezing in his chest.

“Maybe I should call my parents and tell them I get such glowing reviews.” Taehyung closed his eyes again, letting Jeongguk massage his scalp and his mind blissfully quiet. He expected it to be the end of their little banter, but Jeongguk mumbled something Taehyung wasn't sure he was supposed to hear.

“Maybe that’ll make them proud of me.”

Taehyung’s eyes snapped open, immediately settling on the sight of Jeongguk’s eyes in the mirror. A frustrated glint to them, eyebrows pulled in tight, a wrinkle between them. The rest of Jeongguk’s face was hidden by his black mask, as usual. Mind obviously miles away. For a second he just studied him, debating whether to let the comment slide or take it for what it might be—an offering of sorts. An invitation. An open door. In a snap decision Taehyung burst through it.

“Your parents aren’t proud of you being a hairdresser?” Taehyung's forward question seemed to bring Jeongguk out of his head and back to the salon. His eyes met Taehyung’s in the mirror. His shoulders fell a little. Immediately, Taehyung felt his sudden entrance might have been an overstep.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I—obviously, you don’t have to talk about—”

“No! No, please, if anything, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about my personal woes at work.”

“No, it’s.” Taehyung didn’t exactly know what it was. Another step in the direction of friendship, maybe? “I asked,” he settled on with a shrug of his shoulders. Jeongguk debated for a moment before he answered in a much softer tone than Taehyung had ever heard him use before. “They have just always wanted different things for me and have never been particularly accepting of the choices I make for myself.”

Never before had the urge to hug been so strong in Taehyung. He wanted to jump out of this chair and wrap his arms around Jeongguk’s still slumped shoulders so tightly, his body would be fighting for oxygen, and therefore unable to feel even an ounce of sadness, disappointment or shame. But considering the way he had already barged into Jeongguk’s space metaphorically with his question, he didn’t want to push his luck. He opted for trying to convey as much sympathy as possible with his eyes.

“Well, I may be biased, but I think you’ve made all the right choices,” Taehyung said. “And I think my hair would say so, too.”

Their eyes met in the mirror again and Jeongguk’s betrayed the smile hiding behind his mask. “Good, good, I appreciate your hair’s opinion,” Jeongguk said, the smile evident in his voice, too. Taehyung sat up a little straighter in his chair, proud at having made Jeongguk smile again. He smiled too, even if his mask kept it hidden. Jeongguk’s focus returned to Taehyung’s hair, but Taehyung still heard him say, “And I appreciate yours, too.” It was technically impossible for Taehyung’s smile to stretch any wider, but it tried nonetheless.

Taehyung felt terrible. Staring at the ceiling of his ridiculously small bathroom, he finally admitted to himself that he should have just thrown the milk away if he couldn’t exactly remember when he’d opened it. The bowl of cereal really wasn’t worth all the pain he was in now.

With a groan he heaved himself into a somewhat vertical position, reaching for his phone. He was left with no choice. He had to cancel his appointment with Jeongguk.

He opened the browser on his phone, tapping onto the salon’s website which he may or may not be on frequently to admire Jeongguk’s newly uploaded staff photo. He clicked onto the contact menu and with a few further clicks the appointment was cancelled. With a groan he flopped back onto the floor, cursing himself and the universe.

The following week, back at full health, Taehyung happily strolled into the small salon, excited to get his fill of Jeongguk. He was immediately greeted with a “Hi!” called from across the room, where Jeongguk was still styling a girl’s hair. With a hummingbird heartbeat, he tentatively waved back. The girl with the short electric blue hair at the front desk and the perpetual knowing smirk, Saehee, waved at Taehyung as well and told him to take a seat on one of the couches.

It wasn’t long before Jeongguk was bounding over, taking a seat next to him. He sat down close enough for their knees to lightly brush and the point of contact sent a wave of goosebumps up Taehyung’s thighs all the way up to his arms.

“Missed you last week,” Jeongguk said and Taehyung used all the strength in his body to keep himself upright.

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk nodded. He nudged his shoulder against Taehyung’s, sparking another wave of goosebumps. “‘Course. You’re my favourite customer.”

“Well, you’re my favourite hairdresser, so,” Taehyung replied, feeling his cheeks warm. Were they flirting? Was this flirting? He could hardly remember the last time he had flirted with someone. He had certainly never flirted with someone so far out of his league. As usual, Jeongguk was in all black. His T-shirt perfectly showed off his sleeve of tattoos. His hair was as soft looking and luscious as usual, a beneficial side effect of being an amazing hairdresser—he always had perfect hair himself.

Jeongguk raised his pierced eyebrow. “Does that mean you’re seeing other hairdressers? I’m wounded.”

“Keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it?” Taehyung teased. Jeongguk’s eyes were on him and sitting this close, Taehyung could clearly see the twinkle in them. He hadn’t known eyes could do that.

“And that’s something you like to do, is it? Keep me on my toes?” Hearing a teasing tone in Jeongguk’s voice made Taehyung’s belly swoop treacherously. This was flirting, then. Was it? It couldn’t be. But the look in Jeongguk’s eyes left no room for doubt.

They were flirting. The realisation left Taehyung scrambling for something to say, but coming up with embarrassingly little.

“And then he just stays silent,” Jeongguk says, voice full of a smile. “Well, whether you like it or not, you do keep me on my toes, Taehyung-ssi.”

His belly did another swoop as Jeongguk nudged his knee with his own before standing again. Instantly, Taehyung missed his warmth by his side. It was such a simple thing, sitting next to someone so closely, shoulders brushing lightly, knees gently knocking into each other. He wished they could have just sat on that couch together all morning. Maybe flirt some more, talk some more. Accidentally touch some more.

“You coming?” Jeongguk asked, gaze expectant and effective in pulling Taehyung out of his daydream. He still didn’t quite trust his mouth to not blurt out something embarrassing, so he just nodded and walked over to Jeongguk’s station.

He sighed deeply as he cuddled into his sheets. His readings today were so needlessly complicated in a way only academic articles can be and he had needed much more time than usual to really understand what was being said. Whaley was right there by his side, secure under his arm. His phone screen was on a night mode and the lowest brightness setting, the only other source of light in his room was a scented candle. For a moment he debated which social media app to open first. His thumb hovered over Twitter for a second, but he felt Whaley’s judgemental stare, so he chose Instagram instead. Immediately his eyes landed on a picture of Jeongguk of all people. A picture of Jeongguk without a mask, finally giving Taehyung an idea of that smile always hidden. And it was a good smile. A lovely smile that revealed some good teeth, the front teeth a little bigger than the rest in the cutest way possible. And, was that a lip ring? Taehyung was upright before he could think about it, Whaley crushed dangerously close to his side. What was Jeongguk doing on his Instagram feed? He looked down at Whaley but he was once again not impressed by anything. Upon closer inspection, Instagram had suggested the salon’s account to him, likely based on him never reading the fine print and letting Instagram harvest all of the information about him stored on his phone such as, but by no means limited to, his GPS data. But right now, as he stared at the gem that was this photo of Jeongguk, he couldn’t muster the same outrage Namjoon might have over the breach of his privacy. How could he be angry when he was looking at an angel? In the photo Jeongguk’s arms are crossed, showing off the tattoos down his left arm for one, and his impressive bicep for another. The comments were mainly people drooling over Jeongguk, which Taehyung fully understood, but also made a slight flare of jealousy light up. Without fully thinking about it, Taehyung’s thumbs were clicking on Jeongguk’s tag and following it to his profile. It looked like Jeongguk put a lot of thought into it. His pictures all shared the same sort of greyish tint, colours desaturated to the max without disappearing completely. Pictures of the urban landscapes of Seoul, some interesting portraits of what Taehyung presumed to be Jeongguk’s friends and naturally, some pictures of the back of people’s heads showing off the incredible talent Jeongguk has with hair. As he was ogling the singular selfie he found on the profile, a little banner popped up on his screen notifying him that Jeongguk had followed him back. The notification nearly made him drop his phone, but he gripped it tightly as he stared at it.

@jeon.jk followed you back!

His brain was desperately trying to process the information that Jeongguk followed him on Instagram, when it was confronted with even more mind-boggling input, when Jeongguk shamelessly liked every second picture on Taehyung’s profile. Taehyung stared as notification after notification came through. What was he doing? Why was he immediately going through Taehyung’s whole profile? What did it mean that he liked every single selfie? Were these courtesy likes or did he actually like Taehyung’s face? With a jolt Taehyung realised that Jeongguk had never seen his face without the mask on either. Did he like what he saw?

Amongst the notifications of likes, a singular comment popped up. It was a fire emoji commented under the most recent of Taehyung’s pictures, where he had decided to pull out his old DSLR and snap a couple of self-portraits showing off his freshly done hair. There was a time when Taehyung had daydreamed about becoming a model, practising how to highlight the angles of his face in the best way, what expressions made him look the best, hours of sitting in front of a mirror, figuring it all out. He’d ultimately decided against the model career path when he dove deeper into their dieting regimes and the general corruption of the fashion industry, but all those hours hadn’t completely gone to waste. He knew how to take a good photo. And his most recent Instagram picture was a very good photo. And Jeongguk had not only liked it, but also commented a fire emoji.

He looked down at Whaley, all squished up as he was, and whispered, “What do you think it means? Do you think he thinks I’m hot?”

Whaley, as usual, did not dignify his question with a response.

Taehyung never ended up responding to Jeongguk’s comment. What really was there to say to it in reply? Thanks? Right back at you? I would literally let you do whatever you want to me?

But he did take up posting to his story again regularly. Not that he ever really neglected it massively, but he did feel the urge to post more selfies to it these days. It helped to see the likes user @jeon.jk left on each and every one. Additionally, Taehyung was very generous in handing out his own likes, to posts and stories alike, frequently enjoying the selfies and mirror pictures aforementioned user posted to his story. Taehyung had never really thought about all the mirrors in the salon posing the perfect opportunity for pictures throughout his visits there, usually too preoccupied with the marvellous experience of having his hair washed by an angel with tattoos and piercings dressed in all black. He was grateful for those mirrors now, as they enabled Jeongguk to show off his luscious locks, his big biceps, and sometimes even his bunny tooth smile. When he received the first DM from Jeongguk, he was glad Whaley was in fact not a living creature, because the way he flung him across the room would have certainly killed him. It wasn’t a written message though, it was a meme about hairdressers and clients that made Taehyung giggle. To that, he replied with a funny meme about owning a dog, remembering one of their conversations about their family pets and how they both kind of wanted to have dogs of their own. And thus, began the sending back and forth of memes, videos, occasional laughing face emojis. On his last visit to the salon, when Jeongguk was done with his hair and Taehyung felt the most relaxed he had felt all week, Jeongguk had pulled out his phone to show him a music video he’d been meaning to send. It was from the new girl group he had posted about in his story. Taehyung had followed the link to Spotify and sent his first worded message, thanking Jeongguk for the recommendation.

“I feel like the video adds so much to the song,” he said excitedly, typing away at his phone. They were on the leather couch again and Taehyung was trying to actively avoid the raised eyebrow Saehee was sending his way. “You do have a minute, right? I don’t want to keep you from anything,” Jeongguk said, doubt clouding his features as he looked up from his phone suddenly.

“I have a lot of minutes,” Taehyung said eloquently. He definitely heard some sort of snort-like noise from the direction of the front desk behind which Saehee was sitting, but it didn’t really matter. Not when Jeongguk’s eyes turned into little crescent shaped moons like that and he leaned in closer to show Taehyung his phone screen. How could anything other than Jeongguk’s warm shoulder pressing against his matter?

“It’s worth it, I promise.”

Taehyung only half followed the plot of the music video, intricate and complicated as it was, opting instead to rejoice in the physical closeness to Jeongguk. He also enjoyed when Jeongguk explained the significance of the plot again with the context of the song’s lyrics, his eyes sparkling, his hands gesticulating. One hand eventually landed on the back of the couch, tantalisingly close to Taehyung’s shoulders. Even though they weren’t touching, it felt like they were.

Taehyung never felt so starved.

One night, Jimin interrupted a very interesting conversation Taehyung was having via Instagram with his hairdresser about the significance of tumblr for his youth, by calling him and starting an interrogation before so much as breathing a hello.

“Who are you posting all those gorgeous selfies to your Instagram story for?”

“Why can’t I just post nice pictures of my self to my Instagram story? Does it have to be for someone?” Jimin only let out a loud laugh in reply.

“Taehyung-ah, you and I both know, people don’t just randomly start posting selfies to their Instagram stories. So, who is he? Do I know him?”

Taehyung grumbled, contemplating not saying anything to Jimin, but he was also kind of dying to gush about Jeongguk a bit. Even if nothing would come of it.

“I mean, not really, but I have mentioned him before?”

A gasp crackled through from the other end of the line. “Oh my god, it’s the hairdresser, isn’t it? He’s not only helped statiate one need, he’s sparked a whole other kind!”

“Jimin-ah! Why do you always say things like that?” Taehyung grimaced, despite knowing it was the full and actual truth. His visits to the salon had quietly been feeding his hunger for touch in general, just the innocent kind, the lovely kind, the relaxing kind, while at the same time sparking a hunger for a very different kind of touch. Like when Jeongguk’s fingers lingered on Taehyung’s neck and he wanted them to trail lower, to touch more. Or when their shoulders touched on the couch and Taehyung wanted to snuggle in closer, maybe rest his head on that strong shoulder. Or when Jeongguk walked him to the door and they just stood there, kind of waiting, kind of not, just looking at each other, he wanted more. He wanted a handshake, a kiss, anything, everything. To his absolute surprise, he had gotten a hug. The first hug in weeks, months, and then from the guy he was somewhat reluctantly crushing on. Needless to say, he had floated the rest of the way home.

“I say it how it is, you know that.” Taehyung could hear the self-satisfied smirk Jimin must have had on his face right then. “So, hairdresser follows you on Instagram now, huh?”

Taehyung bit his lip lightly. “Maybe.”

Jimin let out a shriek that could rival a banshee. “Taehyung has a crush! Taehyung has a crush! Taehyung has a crush!”

“Maybe!”

“Nothing maybe about it, jagi-yah. You have a crush!” In the distance from the other side of the line, Taehyung heard an unmistakable Yoongi hyung grumble. “Oh, relax, it’s Taehyung on the phone. Taehyung, who has a crush on his hairdresser. Oh my god, what a plot development! Can’t believe it took a global state of emergency for you to finally get it on again.”

Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose and took a very long, very controlled breath. “You just say so many things. In all the wrong ways.”

“I love you, too.”

Despite the hug goodbye after his last visit, Taehyung was not expecting the hug hello when he entered the salon the following week. Jeongguk’s cologne hit his nostrils, then the warmth of his body hit his skin and finally, the gentleness with which he was held hit his mind. It took everything in him not to let out a sob. He managed though, hugging Jeongguk back tightly. They hugged for maybe a second too long to be socially acceptable for a hug between friends, but what did it matter, really? Taehyung was growing weaker by the day. If things continued between them as they did, Taehyung would be professing his big, stupid crush any day now. He tried not to think of the gorging of touch that might follow.

“It’s good to see you,” Jeongguk said and Taehyung garbled out some unintelligible response that Jeongguk still miraculously somehow seemed to understand. He directed Taehyung to his work station, hand firmly on Taehyung’s lower back. Taehyung for his part tried to remain cool, talking to Jeongguk like he usually would, joking around and teasing. His eyes slipped shut as always when Jeongguk washed his hair and their conversation died down. He wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or objective reality, but it felt like Jeongguk took extra care to wash his hair. His hands massaged Taehyung’s scalp ever so gently. He checked three times about the water temperature. He used the softest towel Taehyung had ever felt to wrap his hair up securely before Taehyung drifted back to his workstation. He was careful when he brushed through Taehyung’s hair, first with a brush, then lightly with his fingers as he blow-dried it.

Horrifically, Taehyung felt himself tear up a little again, much like that first time he had come to the salon. Only now there was the added layer of knowing Jeongguk, of Jeongguk knowing him.

This going to hurt, Taehyung thought as Jeongguk spread some sort of oil through his hair and gently massaged it into his scalp.

This is going to really hurt, he thought as Jeongguk caught his eye in the mirror and shot him a wink.

This is going to really fucking hurt, he thought as Jeongguk hugged him goodbye again and he let himself sigh into it. Really fucking hurt.

Taehyung felt almost delirious as he followed Jeongguk to the front desk, fishing his phone out of his cross-body bag. He had never taken drugs and certainly never planned to, but his hair appointments with Jeongguk were probably the closest he would ever get to experiencing any kind of high. His mind was rarely ever as calm as it was after these appointments.

Saehee handled the payment, adorned with her usual smirk, though she kept her comments to herself. Jeongguk lingered somewhere behind him, shuffling on his feet. After tapping his phone against Saehee’s card reader, he pocketed it and turned to face his nervous looking hairdresser.

“That’s that then,” he said, preparing himself for the final high of the day, his goodbye hug from Jeongguk. “I’ll be off.”

“Actually, uhm,” Jeongguk started, scratching the back of his neck and avoiding Taehyung’s eye. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee and have a stroll around the park? With me?”

The rush of dopamine through his veins nearly made him stumble. Was this really happening? Was this his actual reality? Jeongguk wanted to get coffee with him? Jeongguk wanted to go for a walk with him? Jeongguk was asking him out?

“Taehyungie-hyung?” Oh God, Taehyung was going to die.

“What about your shift?”

Jeongguk looked sheepish and his ears began to turn red. How could a man with a full sleeve of tattoos, tattoos on his knuckles and several face piercings still manage to look so adorable all the time?

“Yeah, uhm, I’m actually not on the clock today.”

“God, I don’t know whether to look away or not,” Saehee whispered behind them, obviously unable to keep all comments to herself. Taehyung knew it had been too good to be true.

“You’re not on the clock?” Taehyung repeated, somewhat uselessly. He was having trouble trying to catch up with the rapid speed at which the situation was unfolding. Jeongguk just asked him out and apparently also came to work on his day off just to wash and style Taehyung’s hair. “You came in just for me?” “Can’t leave my favourite customer hanging,” Jeongguk said, winking at Taehyung like his brain wasn’t already struggling to maintain normalcy. In lieu of an answer, Taehyung just nodded. “So, coffee?”

“I don’t like coffee,” Taehyung said because that was all his mind managed to come up with. Jeongguk’s face fell ever so slightly and it snapped Taehyung out of his delirious state enough to burst out with, “But I’d love a cup of tea!”

“Oh my God,” Saehee whispered.

“Okay, yeah, then we’ll get tea!” Jeongguk said, the smile audible behind his mask. Taehyung felt the blood rush to his cheeks behind his own.

“But, I mean, you can get coffee if you want.”

“Yeah, no, uh.” Stroking a hand up the back of his neck, Jeongguk looked nervous. That’s what the shuffling of feet had been about then. Nerves. Jeon Jeongguk, nervous about asking Taehyung out. “I might have a coffee, yeah. But it’s more so about the company for me than, uh.” Feet shuffled again, and were the tips of Jeongguk’s ears red? “Than the drink.”

“Okay, well that’s, uhm, that’s good, then.”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathed and then they just stood there, smiling under their masks, both blushing, both nervous as hell.

“Like a really sweet and endearing car crash,” Saehee concluded.

“You sure you’re not hungry?”

Oh, Taehyung was hungry. He was starving, in fact, and had been for months, but nothing they sold here at this coffee shop would satisfy him. With a nod, he reached for his phone again, but Jeongguk shushed his hand away and held his own phone to the card reader. Sheepishly, Taehyung tucked his phone away again.

“Thank you,” he managed to say. Jeongguk’s gaze softened when their eyes met again and he shook his head lightly.

“It’s my treat.”

“I’ll get the next one, then,” Taehyung said, feeling bold and hungrier than ever before. Taehyung only saw Jeongguk’s eyes crescent, smile hidden by the damn mask again.

“Sounds like a deal.”

With a coffee for Jeongguk and an Early Grey tea for himself, they made their way to the park nearby. The weather was perfect for a stroll in the park, a shining sun but moderate temperatures, a light breeze. The masks came off again once they left the café, much to Taehyung’s delight, allowing him to get his fill of Jeongguk’s cheeky smile, the cool piercings, and his beautiful face.

“I have this specific route I take round the park, you up for that?”

“Absolutely, yes, I’ll follow you wherever,” Taehyung said and immediately felt his mouth twist into grimace as the weirdness of his words registered. “I mean, I’ll follow you around the park. Or not follow, but walk around with you, through this park.” Taehyung cleared his throat. “Can you tell my social skills are rusty?”

Jeongguk gave a small chuckle and maybe Taeyhung’s eyes were fooling him but there seemed to be a dusting of a blush spreading on Jeongguk’s cheeks. “Not just you, hyung. I haven’t felt this nervous in a long time.” As if to prove his point, Jeongguk’s hand gripped his cup of coffee a little tighter, his other hand flexing between them.

“About me?”

“Of course, about you, hyung.” It was said with a playful bump of the shoulder, after which Jeongguk stayed close, a smooth move if Taehyung had ever seen one. Neither of them had said the word date, but it hung in the air between them nonetheless.

“Well, you’re quite nerve-wracking yourself, actually,” Taehyung bantered, returning the shoulder bump with a shy smile. He felt the ends of his nerves tingling where their shoulders met, a casual friendly touch with potential.

Jeongguk laughed, a low rumble of a thing that had Taehyung’s insides curling into themselves. “I guess it’s somewhat comforting to know I’m not alone in my nerves.”

“You really aren’t,” Taehyung agreed, taking a small, tentative sip of his tea. “I was so nervous that first time I came to the salon and you being all—,” he waved a hand up and down at Jeongguk to make his point, “didn’t help either.”

“Why were you so nervous that first time?”

“Ah, you know.” Taehyung had been dreading this. This part of the conversation that would inevitably lead to him having to explain that he made a standing appointment to go get his hair washed every week, because he was feeling horribly and terribly touchstarved. Jeongguk would probably find it weird and this first coffee not-date would also be their last coffee not-date. Taehyung didn’t want that. He wanted the absolute opposite; this should be the first of many coffee not-dates and eventually, coffee dates. He also didn’t want to lie. In all their conversations he had been open and honest, not just because he had never been a good liar anyway, but also because it was so easy to be honest to Jeongguk. There was never any pressure to be a certain way, to say a certain thing. Jeongguk radiated a kind of safety that Taehyung hadn’t encountered with anyone else before. So, what was the point in lying now?

“I, uh, I read online that, you know, if you’re feeling a little—,” he risked a glance at Jeongguk whose eyes were as kind as ever. “Touchstarved, that …” God, it was so embarrassing. He was so embarrassing and pathetic and Jeongguk was never going to have coffee or tea with him again. “That going to get your hair washed helps.”

Jeongguk didn’t laugh or make fun of him. Instead, he hummed thoughtfully and nodded, a habit of his when he was taking in information and processing it. However, Taehyung still felt embarrassment coursing through his entire being, so he added: “Sorry, you probably think I’m really sad, huh?”

Taehyung wished gravity were to give up on him and the next step he took wouldn’t take him forwards but upwards into space, into another galaxy. Alas, he remained on Earth. In fact he stayed rooted to the spot, when Jeongguk stopped walking and turned to face him.

“It’s not sad, it’s human,” Jeongguk said with a sincerity and conviction that nearly made Taeyhung cry on the spot. “This pandemic has hit us all really hard, me included, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.” His voice was as gentle as his words and he made no sense, really, this buff guy with the tattoos in all black being the gentlest, sweetest person with the kindest eyes. But people were like books, weren’t they, not to be judged by their covers. “I mean, I like washing hair. I like the idea of providing that kind of comfort for someone.” He looked a little sheepish as he went on. “I like the idea of providing that kind of comfort for you.”

Taehyung’s heart wanted to leap out of his chest, physics and biology be damned. He felt a little crazy, his mind immediately deciding he needed to marry this man. But maybe marriage was a little hasty, they had only really been talking for a few months and he hadn’t even—oh.

“Can I hold your hand?” It burst out of Taehyung without much grace. But here he was, thinking about marriage when he hadn’t even held the man’s hand; a situation that demanded rectifying immediately.

Jeongguk’s eyes went crescent shaped again, a smile lighting up his whole face as he softly whispered, “Of course.”

He reached for Taehyung’s hand and it was the first time Taehyung had held someone else’s hand in months. Jeongguk’s hand was warm and soft, his fingers fit perfectly into the spaces between Taehyung’s. With all his visits to the salon, he thought his touchstarvedness must have receded at least a little bit, but he felt the full weight of it again, in this very moment. He tried to hold the tears in, he did, but it was futile. His eyes went misty and when Jeongguk saw, his own widened in alarm.

“Hyung.”

But Taehyung couldn’t speak. He stood there a little helplessly, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand. His legs decided to do the work for him, stepping closer to Jeongguk and pressing his face into Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“And, we can hug, too.” Jeongguk chuckled, arm coming around Taehyung’s shoulders. Jeongguk smelled good, he always did, even when Taehyung held a friendly distance to him. But now, his sweet cologne enveloped Taehyung’s senses fully. He smelled like something Taehyung had been missing for a very long time. He smelled like better days, like safety, like a 4-course-gourmet dinner, like sunshine, like getting a reservation in your favourite restaurant. He smelled like a remedy.

To his ever increasing embarrassment, he felt tears spill over his cheeks and to avoid letting them fall on Jeongguk’s wonderfully soft jumper, he pressed his face into the skin of Jeongguk’s neck.

“I’m gonna spill my tea on you,” Taehyung sniffled, only then realising his cup of tea was pressing against Jeongguk’s stomach.

“That’s okay,” Jeongguk mumbled, his voice like a soothing balm to Taehyung’s inner turmoil. He felt Jeongguk’s head move a little and then there was a soft kiss being pressed into his hair. Which was closely followed by a fresh wave of tears.

Taehyung had no way of knowing how long they stood there. All he knew was that for the first time in months he felt sated.

Of course, it had been a date. How could it ever have been anything but? After Taehyung’s little meltdown they found a bench to sit on, one with a bit of distance to the others. Jeongguk immediately tucked Taehyung into his side, arm tightly around his shoulders. With his head resting on Jeongguk’s shoulder, they talked for hours. At some point, Jeongguk got up to throw their empty cups away, which freed their hands up for each other nicely. Their fingers remained locked to each other all the way right up to Taehyung’s door, where Jeongguk had very chastely pressed a kiss to Taehyung’s cheek and bid him goodnight.

“A kiss on the cheek? You cried in his arms about being touchstarved and all he gives you is a kiss on the cheek?”

“Yah, you’re such a menace,” Taehyung scolded, a reflexive hand coming up to the screen, wanting to slap Jimin on the back of the head. To Jimin’s luck he was protected by the distance between them, so Taehyung flipped him off instead. “He’s a gentleman, okay? A perfectly sweet handsome gentleman.”

Jimin rolled his eyes at him. “Oh God, you really are smitten with him, aren’t you?”

The sigh Taehyung let out in response was only barely shy of a swoon.

They texted through all of Monday, only briefly pausing when Jeongguk had a client or when Taehyung was in class. He felt giddy and restless, pacing through his flat as he replied to Jeongguk’s texts. It was almost impossible for him to sit still, even when he concentrated on listening to his professor’s scratchy voice through his headphones, his foot was still tapping away under his desk. Even when he did manage to keep his body still, standing at his stove as he waited for his ramen to cook, his insides felt like they were having a full on Step-Up-themed dance party.

He loved it.

His last class of the day finished at 4 pm, so he decided to call up his family before dinner. His eomma noticed a certain glow to him (her words, not his), but he didn’t tell them about Jeongguk just yet. Selfishly, he wanted to keep him to himself for just a little longer.

He was just contemplating how bad it really would be if he were to have ramen for dinner again, when his phone pinged with a text. There was only really one person it could be, so he scrambled for it immediately.

jeongguk <3

my last client just stood me up >.<

what!! that’s so rude!!

Taehyung was annoyed on Jeongguk’s behalf. How dare someone stand up the best hairdresser in Seoul? He flopped down onto his bed. Jeongguk replied immediately.

it is but it does also mean i get to go home earlier hehe

He could practically hear the giggle as he read it. It made him smile at his phone, that familiar giddiness and restlessness overtaking him again, and he giggled and kicked his feet. Whaley stared at him, somewhat judgmentally, but Taehyung felt a small smidgen of judgement could be justified. He was squealing and giggling like a teenager in love, after all. At least his only witness was Whaley.

okay that’s actually quite the silver lining then!!

it is, it is

have you had dinner yet?

not yet

tell me is it bad to have ramen for lunch AND dinner

asking for a friend

He knew Jeongguk cared about nutrition, little gym rat that he was, and it was extremely cute when he got upset with Taehyung for some of his food choices.

oh god

please let me cook for you one day

The suggestion made Taehyung squeal again. Jeongguk cooking for him was a mental image that sent everything into overdrive again—his nerves, his heartbeat, his temperature. He pictured Jeongguk in his kitchen, lecturing him about nutrition as he made him food. He pictured himself wrapping his arms around Jeongguk from behind him, looking over his shoulder at whatever Jeongguk would be cooking. He would pretend to listen, but in reality, he would just be basking in the closeness, in the feel of having Jeongguk’s back pressed to his chest.

He interrupted himself with another round of feet kicking. God, Whaley was getting an eyeful today.

yes pls cook for me

preferably every day but we can work up to that

until then… ramen for me again

His stomach gave a quiet grumble, a reminder that he really was growing hungrier by the minute. With a deep sigh, he heaved himself off his mattress, resigning himself to another portion of ramen.

no i can’t let you do that

i can cook for you tonight?

i make a mean makguksu if you’re interested?

He stopped in his tracks. A different kind of hunger made itself known.

omg how quickly can u be here??<3

Jeongguk texted that he could be there in 30 minutes and would stop to get all the necessary ingredients. Taehyung used the full 30 minutes to whirl about his flat like a hurricane, trying to erase as many clues to him living here as possible.

A quick glance around his room revealed a couple of clothes strewn about the floor, his desk was a bit more of a mess than usual and why did he have so many empty glasses standing around? He sprinted into his kitchen to look. It fared better than his room, his ramen pot from lunch still on the stove, but at least there weren’t any dishes lying around. The tiny table he sometimes sat at could do with a wipe down, but it wasn’t too bad. After everything, his flat looked rather presentable. After a short moment of deliberation, he hid Whaley in one of the storage boxes under his bed. Just in case. You could never know. Whaley understood. (Whaley did.)

Just in time, too, as the doorbell rang and then, suddenly, Jeongguk was in his small flat with a big grin on his face and a bag of groceries in hand.

“Hi,” he breathed, a light flush to his cheeks, and Taehyung felt his insides melt.

“Hi,” Taehyung replied, holding himself back by a very small margin. Jeongguk barely had enough time to set down the bag of groceries as well as his messenger bag before Taehyung was in his arms.

It was ridiculous to even think, but he fit there perfectly. He’d never fit into someone’s arms so well. Jeongguk squeezed him tightly, lifting him off the ground for a moment, which made Taehyung giggle. They stayed in their hug for a long time, longer than might be normal or calm or collected, but now that the gates had been opened, there might be no closing them. Taehyung needed this.

“Now how am I gonna cook with you in my arms?” Jeongguk rumbled, not sounding particularly invested in the idea of remedying the situation.

“You’ll have to figure something out.”

Eventually, reluctantly, they separated. Jeongguk immediately went about preparing everything and the reality of him in Taehyung’s kitchen was much better than any vision Taehyung could have dreamt up. It was so easy, telling Jeongguk about his classes, joking with him, and listening to his funniest client stories. A kind of peace settled over Taehyung that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe it wasn’t going to hurt, after all.

The makguksu was incredible, Taehyung practically inhaling it at the tiny table in the kitchen. As Jeongguk very seriously explained his recipe and why it made it better than any other makguksu recipe, Taehyung was dangerously close to melting into the floor out of fondness. He did also find himself getting repeatedly caught up in the sight of Jeongguk’s biceps in the tight black T-shirt he wore, showing off his one full sleeve of tattoos. The duality of Jeongguk was captivating. He looked like he could potentially be the biggest asshole you ever encounter, but then he started speaking, telling you about his makguksu recipe, explaining why he hates certain fabric softeners and why toe socks were actually more comfortable than regular socks, and any potential of asshole-ry went flying out the window.

“How am I ever going to go back to my own sad attempts at cooking after this?” Taehyung lamented, stomach full of the best bowl of noodles he’d ever had.

“Guess you’ll have to keep me around then, huh?” Jeongguk flirted, tongue playing with his lip piercing in a way that was driving Taehyung a little mad. Taehyung humoured him.

“Well, depends on what else you have to offer.” He leaned his elbows on the table, cradling his face in his hands. Jeongguk mirrored his, raising an eyebrow at him inquisitively.

“Besides the cooking? Mhm.” He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Have I mentioned I’m a master cuddler?”

“You have not,” Taehyung said, feeling his heartbeat pick up. How did his life turn into this? How did he get so lucky? “But I think I would have to be the judge of that, no?” Jeongguk had fed Taehyung well, belly full. But he felt a burning hunger again at the thought of cuddles from Jeongguk.

“Try me.” Taehyung’s stomach did a somersault.

Taehyung refused to let Jeongguk do the dishes, insisting he would take care of it first thing in the morning. After some resistance, Jeongguk let it go and let Taehyung lead him into his bedroom. He also let Taehyung pick a movie, some romcom that had been released quite recently. But most importantly, he let Taehyung mould the entire length of his body to Jeongguk’s side as they laid on his bed, both of them only half-watching the movie.

“If I could start purring, I would,” Taehyung sighed, nuzzling further into Jeongguk’s neck. Why did he have to smell so good? “Would that be a dealbreaker for you?”

“Nah,” Jeongguk said, hugging Taehyung impossibly closer, a hand coming up to nestle in his hair. “I can handle a little purring.”

Taehyung didn’t have to look at Jeongguk’s face to know he was smiling. Closing his eyes, he gave up all pretences of caring about the movie, instead opting to focus on Jeongguk’s fingers playing with Taehyung’s hair. Occasionally, his chest rumbled with laughter because of the movie. Taehyung felt every single breath he took, felt every single one he let out. He was warm, perfect temperature for Taehyung who tended to run a little cold. It was so blissfully nice to be held. He was metaphorically stuffing himself with Jeongguk’s touches.

“Does this mean you’ll stop coming by the salon to get your hair washed?” Jeongguk asked suddenly, the thought having only just occurred to him.

Taehyung hummed, as if seriously contemplating it. He wasn’t. Somehow, he managed to extract himself from Jeongguk’s hold, sitting up a little to look at him properly. Silly, silly, Jeongguk looked genuinely scared, as if anything could stop Taehyung from getting his hair washed by him. He brushed a stray strand of hair from Jeongguk’s forehead. It was funny, how he’d spent so much time in this room, in this bed, a fire of loneliness burning in his chest. But now, here he was, same room, same bed, but with a chest aglow in fondness.

“You’d have to ban me from the salon to ever stop me from coming by to get my hair washed.” To think, he had felt so pathetic, so embarrassed, making the appointment. So desperate for any little bit of connection. Silly, silly Taehyung. Maybe they were both a little silly. Especially as silly, silly Jeongguk released a breath of relief. “Good, good.”

“Besides, I feel like it won’t be as relaxing if you try to wash my hair while I’m hunched over my tub.”

Jeongguk grinned at him salaciously, accompanied by waggling his eyebrows. “We could always just shower together.”

Blood rushed to Taehyung’s cheeks. “Haven’t even kissed me yet and you’re talking about showering together.”

“Hyung, you literally invited me into your bed without kissing me,” Jeongguk teased. The lilt of his voice in a very specific manner had become very familiar to Taehyung since they started actually talking. The teasing in combination with the thought of them kissing made him blush even more, so he hid his embarrassed reaction in Jeongguk’s shoulder. He felt as well as heard Jeongguk’s low laughter. Any embarrassment was swept away, however, when he felt the arms around him squeeze him tighter. He might genuinely start purring any second now. “You’re so cute when you get shy.”

Taehyung grumbled, something along the lines of he wasn’t shy, but he couldn’t really get himself to convincingly say the words. He’d never been shy about physical contact, particularly not with romantic partners. But something about Jeongguk, the way he had already been so vulnerable with him, had been vulnerable with him from the very beginning, made him feel too shy to actually initiate anything like a kiss.

“You have to do it,” Taehyung mumbled, loud enough for Jeongguk to hear. Gently, Jeongguk repositioned them, with Taehyung now on his back and Jeongguk half leaning over him. It felt silly, but Taehyung instantly lost any train of thought he might have had, mind entirely and immediately preoccupied with the sight of Jeongguk’s face. His round eyes, the small scar on his cheek, his round nose, the ring on his lower lip. He was so handsome, Taehyung couldn’t believe he had somehow managed to get this man to go out with him, to cook him dinner, to snuggle him as they ignored a movie.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Jeongguk said softly, repeating Taehyung’s earlier action and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. The action nearly brought tears to Taehyung’s eyes. “But if you’re not opposed, I would really like to kiss you.”

Taehyung felt his heart right below his throat, pounding away like it was ready to jump out of his chest and into Jeongguk’s hands. He could have it if he wanted it. It didn’t feel like it was Taehyung’s anymore, anyway.

“I would really like to kiss you, too,” Taehyung admitted, an open secret if ever there were any. Jeongguk smiled at him like he hadn’t known that already, like it hadn’t been written all over Taehyung’s face the entire time, and he cupped Taehyung’s cheek. Taehyung’s breath hitched, stilling where it was, trapped in Taehyung’s throat as Jeongguk leant in, ever so slowly. Their lips met in the softest of kisses, just a press of lips. Taehyung’s hand found its way to the nape of Jeongguk’s neck, fingers threading into soft curls. One kiss turned into two, Taehyung sighing into the next. Warmth spread through him from their points of contact. From his lips, from his cheek, from his fingertips, all the way through his whole body, down to the very tips of his toes. Jeongguk kissed him with the same gentleness he exhibited when he washed Taehyung’s hair, when he hugged him hello or goodbye. The same gentleness that Taehyung relished in, that he had been craving for so, so long. He felt like the most precious thing in the world as Jeongguk kissed him, and he tried his best to make Jeongguk feel the same way.

It felt so good to kiss, just for the sake of it. Their mouths moved against each other in slow tandem, a perfected kind of dance unusual for a first kiss. But they had already built up an intimacy between them, were already so familiar with each other, kissing felt like the only natural progression of that. Now that they had started kissing, Taehyung wasn’t sure if they could ever stop.

His stomach curled in on itself, when Jeongguk’s hand moved down to his neck and his kisses got a littler firmer, a little deeper. Taehyung opened his mouth to Jeongguk, let him taste and tasted in return. He arched his back slightly, wanting Jeongguk closer, every inch of his skin craving more touch.

He thought he’d been touchstarved before. He hadn’t seen anything yet, apparently.

They shifted around, breaking from each other’s lips momentarily, so Jeongguk could situate himself between Taehyung’s legs, press their chests together more effectively. Taehyung’s entire being hummed in satisfaction at the weight of Jeongguk on top of him. Warmth turned to heat as Jeongguk kissed him again, licking into Taehyung’s mouth. Jeongguk tasted like the makguksu they’d had earlier, but underneath that there was something so uniquely him that made Taehyung groan. He tangled his fingers firmer into Jeongguk’s hair, as Jeongguk’s hands wandered along the lines of his body. Their mouths remained fused together, like the possibility of them separating again was completely off the table forever, kissing and touching as much as their hearts desired. The world around them ceased to exist as everything narrowed down to Jeongguk’s fingers at his waist, to Jeongguk’s tongue in his mouth, to Jeongguk’s hair in his fingers. All Taehyung knew was Jeongguk’s kisses. All he felt were Jeongguk’s touches. Hours could go by, even days he supposed, and he would be none the wiser. Making out with Jeongguk like this felt like a moment outside of time.

Eventually, though, biology failed them. Jeongguk broke their kiss to take a much needed breath, but Taehyung could forgo breathing a little longer if it meant kissing Jeongguk. He attached his lips to Jeongguk’s jaw, kissing along the line of it until he reached jeongguk’s earlobe. Gently, he took it between his teeth, only slightly biting. He grinned as he heard Jeongguk groan, felt him wrap his arm fully around Taehyung’s waist. He pulled him closer as if Taehyung weighed nothing, which sent a wave of heat almost directly to Taehyung’s groin.

“Hyung,” Jeongguk sighed, moving his head to grant Taehyung better access to his neck. Taehyung happily kissed at his neck, lingering at spots that made the arm around him tighten. He wrapped his legs more deliberately around Jeongguk’s waist, eliminating any semblance of space between them. His skin was hot, cheeks undoubtedly flushed, and Jeongguk felt just as hot to the touch. And yet, the heat didn’t deter him, in fact, it had him craving for more. More heat, more skin, more closeness.

He just wanted more.

With Jeongguk’s arm still wrapped tightly around him, Taehyung planted his feet on the mattress and with a somewhat impressive show of strength, the flipped them over. Now, he was straddling Jeongguk’s narrow hips, pressing his chest onto Jeongguk’s, elbows on either side of Jeongguk’s face. Jeongguk’s ever so handsome, slightly flushed face that looked up at him in unbridled surprise. Visibly, Jeongguk gulped. Intentionally, Taehyung ignored the sting in his lower back.

“That was, uh”, he paused and Taehyung raised his eyebrows at him smugly. “That was pretty hot.”

“Was it?” Taehyung murmured, fully aware of the effect his action had on Jeongguk, if the hardness pressed against Taehyung’s jeans was anything to go by. “Well, don’t get used to it. That nearly took my back out.”

Jeongguk laughed, but Taehyung quickly shut him up, by kissing him again. From this angle Taehyung felt powerful, like Jeongguk was just as wrapped around his finger, as Taehyung was wrapped around his. The change in position allowed Jeongguk’s hands to roam freely along Taehyung’s back side, eventually migrating down to Taehyung’s ass, where they hesitated slightly.

“You can touch my butt, Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung whispered into Jeongguk’s lips.

“Yeah?”

“In fact, I urge you to touch it,” Taehyung breathed, rolling his hips against the hardness he felt in Jeongguk’s groin. Instantly, Jeongguk’s hands were on his ass, gripping firmly and supporting the movement of his hips. They moaned in unison, the friction welcome to both of them. Even through a double layer of jeans, the grinding felt heavenly. Taehyung felt 16 again, desperately rubbing the length of his hardness against another boy’s. Only it was so much better this time, because this was a boy he actually liked. A boy that actually liked him in return.

“Is this okay?” Jeongguk rumbled into his neck, where he was pressing feverish kisses. Taehyung could only nod, moan out a strangled yes, as he let his body take over. Let it chase the release it wanted, let it bask in the heat and the closeness and the pleasure.

“That’s it,” Jeongguk sighed when Taehyung changed the angle of his thrusting, and the words went straight to Taehyung’s dick. One of Jeongguk’s hands came up to cup the back of Taehyung’s neck while the other stayed at his hips, guiding his thrusts. He attempted to kiss Taehyung, but for the life of him, Taehyung couldn’t focus on a kiss if he wanted to. Every cell of his body was focused on the pursuit of pleasure, the experience of Jeongguk’s hands on him, of Jeongguk in his hands. Taehyung’s hands cupped Jeongguk’s face, feeling his slightly damp skin, savouring the heat of him.

Lips touching, but not caught up in a kiss, they panted into each other’s mouths. Each of them lost in the passion of the moment. Taehyung felt delirious with it, movements frantic as he chased his high. Jeongguk fared no better, matching every one of Taehyung’s movements, moaning in delight when their groins met in just the right way.

“Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung whimpered, only mildly preoccupied with the embarrassment of being so worked up from a bit of making out and dry humping. His sole defence was that it had been a while, a significant while, since he’d been this close, this intimate with someone. Add on the fact that this was Jeongguk, his extremely hot crush he’d been pining for for the last few months, it actually all made a lot of sense. Of course, he’d be this worked up already.

“Feels so good.” Jeongguk sounded about as wrecked as Taehyung felt, which was comforting on the one hand, but only added to the wreckage on the other. Jeongguk was this hoarse because of him. He was this hard because of him. “You’re so good.”

Taehyung keened at the words, pressing his forehead to Jeongguk’s. His dick throbbed in his jeans, a twinge of pain to his continued movements. For a moment the thought of just taking his trousers off crossed his mind, but was quickly replaced by the thought of the impossibility of separating from Jeongguk for even a second. Even to remove a piece of clothing. He wouldn’t be able to do it.

They breathed the same air, passing it back and forth between them, and Taehyung was dizzy with it. Dizzy with the heat, the proximity, the electricity. All he could think about was Jeongguk, all he could see was Jeongguk, all he could taste, smell, feel was Jeongguk. Jeongguk was everything to him, right now. The reason, the cause, the release.

“I wanna come,” Taehyung whined breathlessly. Sweat accumulated on his forehead, in the nape of his neck, under Jeongguk’s burning touch on his ass. He was so hard, so close, he felt ready to explode with it.

“Then come, baby,” Jeongguk purred, keeping his hips steady so Taehyung could chase his release. “Come for me.”

Taehyung shuddered, the words blazing their way down his spine. He keened again, hips frantic and without rhythm, until finally, finally, they stuttered as he came. His dick pulsed with it, wave after wave of pleasure relaxing every single muscle of his body. Jeongguk’s hands on his hips encouraged the continued circling of them, before he collapsed onto Jeongguk’s chest, spent.

It took Taehyung a good minute or two to fully return to this earth, mind and soul. All the while, Jeongguk’s fingers traced gentle lines up Taehyung’s back, occasionally pressing kisses to Taehyung’s hair. The movie prattled on in the background.

“Am in danger of purring again,” Taehyung mumbled, closing his eyes with a sigh. He chose to ignore the cooling stickiness in his underwear, focusing instead on the comforting rumble of laughter from Jeongguk.

“You’re welcome to purr at any time, hyung,” Jeongguk said, running his hands through Taehyung’s hair softly. This must be heaven, Taehyung thought. Post-orgasm, lying on a cute boy with your hair being played with. It must be.

“I just might,” Taehyung replied. They laid in silence for a bit, Jeongguk seemingly invested in the movie again, Taehyung invested in Jeongguk’s hands on him and his head on Jeongguk’s chest. It took him an embarrassingly long time to remember a very crucial detail.

Immediately, he sat up with a jerk.

“You didn’t come,” he stated plainly. Jeongguk merely blinked at him, startled by the sudden disruption of their cuddle. His hair was a mess, evidence of the way Taehyung had held onto it for dear life.

“Mhm?”

“You didn’t come,” Taehyung repeated, pouting. He wiggled around in Jeongguk’s lap and was delighted to find that Jeongguk’s erection had not gone down yet. Jeongguk let out a shaky breath at Taehyung’s movements, hands migrating to his thighs. “Do you wanna come?”

Jeongguk looked overwhelmed by the shift in atmosphere. “I, uh, I don’t know.”

Taehyung circled his hips with more precision, ignoring the discomfort of the wetness in his jeans, the sensitivity of his own spent cock. He hummed as if in thought.

“Feels like you wanna come,” he teased, positioning his ass just so. Jeongguk groaned and threw his head back, exposing the length of his neck. As Taeyhung looked at it, he saw the redness of the marks he himself had left behind and it made his stomach flip. With a new sense of confidence, he kept grinding on Jeongguk’s hard dick, relishing in the moans Jeongguk let out. “I want you to come,” he admitted, somehow out of breath again.

Jeongguk’s eyes met his and one moment Taehyung was on top of him, the next, he was underneath him once more, being kissed for all he was worth. His arms snaked around Jeongguk’s shoulders, kissing back as best he could. He felt Jeongguk snake a hand between them, undo the button of his own jeans and reach into them. Jeongguk groaned against him as he started jerking himself off. Taehyung took the opportunity to lick at the roof of his mouth, the urge to make him come increasing. Jeongguk’s movements were frantic, his moans getting higher and higher. Taehyung whispered words of encouragement to him, cupping his face, his neck, his shoulders. He would never let go of Jeongguk ever again, not now like this, not ever. He was beautiful, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, cheeks pink, lips shiny from Taehyung’s kisses. It didn’t take long for him to find his release, coming with a moan of Taehyung’s name that could have easily sent Taehyung over the edge again.

Miraculously, Jeongguk held himself up, supporting all of his weight with one arm, the other still in his pants. He smiled at Taehyung breathlessly, before kissing him again. Taehyung immediately deepened the kiss, licking into Jeongguk’s mouth and earning another groan. He might have completely lost his mind, already addicted to the sounds he was able to draw out of Jeongguk. The potential made Taehyung smile, which resulted in Jeongguk breaking their kiss, but not moving far. Taehyung’s hands in his hair didn’t allow it.

“You are something else, aren’t you?” Jeongguk sighed against Taehyung’s lips, smiling as well.

“You’re one to talk,” Taehyung giggled. “I came in my jeans because of you.”

Jeongguk hummed and kissed him again, mouth open, tongue out. God, Taehyung could not get enough of Jeongguk’s tongue. “That shouldn’t be as hot as it is.”

“It really shouldn’t,” Taehyung admitted with another giggle. He looked down between them at his jeans, now partially covered in Jeongguk’s cum as well. “There is cum in and on my jeans now. And it’s literally entirely because of you.”

Jeongguk laughed, looking between them also to assess the damage. They really were a sight to behold: dishevelled, tired and covered in jizz. They had really reverted back to teenage versions of themselves.

Thank God, he’d hidden Whaley under the bed.

“Suddenly, showering together doesn’t seem so unrealistic.”

Taehyung pouted at Jeongguk, made his eyes as big as he could. As puppy dog-like as he could. “Will you wash my hair for me?”

Jeongguk’s smile was so soft it might as well have been a ball of cotton wool.

“You don’t even have to ask.”

They became inseparable. Taehyung thought of himself as clingy before he and Jeongguk started dating, but he realised very quickly—he hadn’t seen anything yet.

The second he saw Jeongguk these days, he would be attached to him. Their fingers would always be intertwined. Their shoulders would practically be glued together. If their hands weren’t interlocked, Jeongguk would have an arm around Taehyung’s waist, or shoulders. More often than not, Jeongguk’s hand would be low on Taehyung’s back, where Taehyung not so secretly, told him it belonged.

Their friends were more often than not disgusted by them. Once life started slowly getting back to normal, and the shops and bars reopened, they were exposed to Taehyung and Jeongguk’s clinginess first hand, not just the videos and pictures from Instagram. (Taehyung wasn’t about to make a secret out of the fact that he had a smoking hot boyfriend who also happened to be the sweetest man in the universe.)

“There’s literally a chair right there,” Jimin whined, pointing at the empty seat next to him. The very same one Taehyung had forgone in favour of planting himself in Jeongguk’s lap.

“He doesn’t need a chair, he has a seat right here,” Jeongguk argued, pulling Taehyung closer by the arm around his waist. Taehyung smiled smugly at Jimin, who dramatically rolled his eyes at them, and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders.

One night, his gaze drifted to his window again, the only one big enough in his tiny flat to actually let in a good portion of sunlight. It offered him a familiar glimpse into the lives of his neighbours, a peek into their living rooms. It felt like he was looking at a bunch of little screens again, only now that thought didn’t make his chest burn anymore. Channel One, aka the window directly opposite his, showed the family watching TV together. Channel Two, the window to the left, aired an elderly couple, sitting by the window playing chess. Channel Three, the window one above the family’s, showed that couple again, slow dancing in the soft light of their living room. The sigh he let out didn’t burn him. Doesn’t make him ache. Instead, he feels connected to them, more than he has in a long time. His neighbours on TV.

“Food’s ready,” Jeongguk called from across the hall. He’d gotten to Taehyung’s place straight after work, determined to try a new recipe he’d found on Pinterest. Taehyung never turned down his cooking. “I hope you’re hungry.”

Taehyung looked out at the different channels again, then turned to look at his boyfriend in his kitchen. He wore a black apron Taehyung had gotten for him, since he was always cooking for them and tended to get a little messy sometimes. He looked up from the stove to meet Taehyung’s eye, gifting him with a big, happy smile.

“Starving,” Taehyung lied, because he hadn’t felt starved in ages.