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“Well, at least we both know Latin.”
-Alucard to a random priest, 1797 AD, moments before having a cross thrust in his face
Julius Belmont knew that his family were not the only ones who sought Dracula’s demise. His ancestors had found friends, allies, companions on the way; who knew what wayfarer would enter the dreaded Castlevania? For what reasons would they make the journey; what justice would they seek, what retribution?
So it was with perhaps unwarranted excitement did he encounter Dr. Stefan Vidraru, Ph.D, in a side room inside the study.
“Are you a mighty wizard?” asked Julius eagerly.
The old man shook his head. “I am a professor of linguistics at Bucharest University.”
“…Magical linguistics?” Julius asked hopefully.
“Ordinary linguistics,” said Dr. Vidraru.
“Ah,” said Julius, drooping slightly. He perked up. “Then are you perhaps a master of martial arts?”
“Hardly,” said Dr. Vidraru. “I was quite the boxer in my youth, but those days are long behind me.”
Julius cocked his head. “Then what are you doing here in Dracula’s castle? Are you not here to slay him?”
“…Young man, what do you think I’m doing here?”
“…Trying to slay Dracula?” said Julius innocently.
Dr. Vidraru groaned. “I did not come here voluntarily. Monstrous creatures stole me in the night, and brought me to their dread master.”
“No offense, sir, but what would Dracula possibly want with you?”
Dr. Vidraru sighed. “How old is Dracula?”
“According to my family, he’d be somewhere around a thousand—oh, wait, I get it,” said Julius.
Dr. Vidraru nodded.
X
(1476 AD. Years since death of wife: 0.7)
“Dracula!” Trevor Belmont kicked down the door, having won the privilege in a furious game of knucklebones between his companions. “We’re going to kill you!”
Dracula stood up from his throne. “You can’t stop my wrath,” he said. “Every human will die for their crimes!”
Alucard shook his head. “You can’t punish all of humanity for the crimes of a few!” he cried. “Even if they killed Mother!”
Grant shook his head. “Can’t reason with a guy this mad,” he said. “Let’s just kick his ass and move on.”
Waves of fire burst from Sypha’s arms. “You had no right to take my family from me!” she cried. “You will pay for what you’ve done!”
“You think you can defeat me?” said Dracula. “Guess again!”
X
(1576. Years since regular sustained contact with a mortal: 100)
“Dracula!” Christopher Belmont kicked down the door. “Face me.”
Dracula simply looked bored. “And you are?”
“Christopher Belmont, great-grandson of Trevor Belmont and Sypha Belnades,” declared Christopher.
Dracula regarded him with something resembling distaste. “Belmont again?” he grumbled. “Must this be a tradition? To be slain by the great-grandson of the man who slew me last, the descendant of the man I deceived so many cold centuries ago?”
“Stay dead,” said Christopher, pointing his whip at Dracula. “Then you won’t have to worry about tradition.”
Dracula stood up. “Come, warrior of the Belmonts. To-night, you shall meet your doom.”
X
(1691 AD. Years since Dracula had a conversation with someone who wasn’t trying to kill him: 215)
“Dracula!” Simon Belmont kicked down the door.
“Marry, tis Belmont yet again,” said Dracula, rising from the coffin. “Mayhaps he comes to slaye me?”
Simon cocked his head. “…Yes?” he said.
“Tell me, Belmont,” said Dracula. “What is the name thy family gave onto thee?”
Simon stared. “…I’m Simon,” he said. “Simon Belmont.”
“Simon indeed!” declared Dracula. “A goode strong name, worthee of a warrior.”
“And you are Dracula, son of the Dragon,” said Simon.
“Ah, a welle-reade manne indeed,” said Dracula. “You vnderstand the truth of mine name.”
Simon drew the Vampire Killer. “Now that we’ve introduced ourselves, I challenge you! Dracula, the hour of your doom is nigh!”
X
(1792. Years since Dracula last spoke to someone who cared about him: 316.)
“Die monster!” shouted Richter Belmont “You don’t belong in this world!”
“Yt was notte by myy hand that I am wonfe agayne given flefhe. I was call’d hyre by hyuumans who wyfhe to paye me trybuute.”
Richter stood there blankly, less at the content of the words and more of the presentation. But he understood at least one word, and that was enough to disgust him. “Tribute?!” he cried. “You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!”
“Per’hapys the sayme coude bee sayd of all relygyones.”
“Your words are as empty as your soul!” declared Richter, who could not in fact understand any of those words. “Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!”
“Whatte ys a manne?” said Dracula, casually tossing his wineglass to the floor “A myferibbe lyttl pyle of sycrytsses. But ynoug tallke… Haue at ye!”
X
(1945 AD. Years since Dracula had a friend who wasn’t a giant skeleton: 471)
“Dracula!”
“So!” said Dracula. “Despitous am I, goliardes arr you bothe.”
Jonathan and Charlotte looked at each other. “…What did he just say?” said Jonathan.
Charlotte shrugged. “Hell if I know.”
“If I may…” Death raised a skeletal finger. “My lord would like to express his distaste towards you. Specifically, he said that both of you are idiots.”
“Well, that doesn’t matter!” shouted Charlotte. “We will stop you, with the power of friendship and teamwork!”
Death paused, and then said to Dracula, “Felaweshipe ys hir worthyneffe, and ful do hir seken to reyfe gainst you.”
Dracula nodded. “Delyvere you arr, and takel greet of myght, yet seith I, death ys your wyrd.”
Death pointed towards Jonathan and Charlotte. “My lord says that you may be fast, and your weaponry is powerful, but he says that death is your fate.”
There was a pause.
“So, wait,” said Jonathan. “Are we still bantering, or can we fight now?”
“Hold a moment.” Death turned to Dracula and said, “Ar we to do bataille?”
“Yes.”
Death turned back to Charlotte and Jonathan and said, “Yes.”
Jonathan pointed the handle of the Vampire Killer at Dracula, and spikes of ice spun around Charlotte. “Die!” shouted Jonathan.
“Deyen,” Death translated helpfully, before being impaled by one of Charlotte’s icicles.
X
“…Thus anticipating further difficulty, he kidnapped you, a professor of linguistics, to learn how to speak modern Romanian,” said Julius.
The professor nodded. “Terrifying undead abomination he may be, a living fossil like him is fascinating to study. Do you have any idea how many papers I could write on his consonants alone?”
“Do you have any idea how you’re going to cite an immortal Swedish vampire on a serious academic paper?” retorted Julius.
“…I could use my data here as a guideline for further research.”
Julius sighed. “Anyways, I saw a teleporter a few rooms back. Come with me, and I’ll get you to safety.”
“All right, but give me a moment to gather my belongings.”
“Let me help.”
Julius knelt to pick up the papers the professor couldn’t reach, while the professor hobbled around and picked out his bags.
“I left a surprise for you,” said Dr. Vidraru casually.
“I’ve had enough of surprises in this castle,” said Julius. Just in case, he had one hand to his whip.
“Oh, this one is harmless,” said Dr. Vidraru.
“…How harmless?”
“Just a bit of harmless fun.”
“The last time someone told me that, five of my mates were court-marshalled.”
Dr. Vidraru wheezed a laugh. “This, I believe, cannot hurt anyone, not even Dracula.”
“…Right,” said Julius. Seeing as the professor wasn’t going to spoil the surprise for him, he cleared his throat. “Stay behind me. I cleared the area earlier, but there might be stragglers.”
X
Perhaps Julius was the first Belmont to see the Stairs at midday. Every Belmont before him had fought Dracula beneath the starry skies and the untarnished moon, but this time, Julius was to face him in the early afternoon.
He stared at the steep drop on either side. In the distance he saw high mountain peaks, their waves of snow greatly reduced this summer. On a normal day, he would have been in class, staring at those same peaks from a different angle and waiting for the school day to end. He could still remember that ugly clock…
Julius shook his head. Now was not the time for reflections. There is no past, and no future; there is only now.
“Dracula!” shouted Julius, kicking down the door.
“So, another Belmont,” said Dracula. The pronunciation was shaky, but still comprehensible. “It is absolutely bodacious to see you.”
Julius goggled.
“Tell me, Belmont,” Dracula continued, oblivious to Julius’s pause. “Are you truly a bad enough dude to waste me?”
“Um… I’m here to kill you,” said Julius.
Dracula stared back at him blankly.
“I mean… yes, I am here to… waste you,” said Julius. “Prepare to… be wasted.”
“Then prepare to throw down, daddy-o, because you’re about to get wrecked!”
Thus Julius faced the most powerful foe he had ever faced, and perhaps since: Skater Dracula.
X
“…And that, Soma, is why people keep giving you strange looks when you try to talk to them in Romanian,” said Julius.
Soma looked around. “…Okay, but why didn’t he get Death to teach him?”
“How should I know?”