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In another life, Izzy meets Stede first. They’re young; Izzy is still in the navy and Stede is in his final year of school. They fall hard and fast. Izzy isn’t disillusioned yet, Stede feels a little rebellious.
Stede dreams of a life at sea, something as adventurous and free as Izzy describes when he looks out over the open water.
They steal a ship and set off for the horizon. It is their first act of piracy together, but it is hardly their last.
In another life, Izzy and Stede meet under different circumstances. It’s at Spanish Jackie’s, or somewhere in St. Kitts, or a fruit stand on the edge of a port city. Izzy is feeling generous and Stede is charming, if bumbling, and they hit it off.
By the end of the night, they’re kissing in an alleyway before Izzy has to go back to his duty with promises of more the next time they cross paths.
In another life, Izzy and Ed own a coffee shop. It’s small but cozy; the decor is all Ed, but the coffee is all Izzy.
He wakes at 4am every morning to prepare their supply. He grinds beans and meets the pastry delivery driver and arranges the newspapers and makes up the display case.
Ed doesn’t come in until 7, which is fine, that’s when the morning rush really begins anyway.
That’s also fine because Izzy gets to spend 6:30 to 6:50 chatting with the blonde professor in the fancy loafers and sinfully tight pants. He used to wear a wedding ring, but now he doesn’t.
Stede doesn’t realize that Izzy has been flirting with him for the last two months. He’s considered writing his number on the cup instead of the man’s name for a while now, but he hasn’t talked himself into it yet. So instead they chat about the books they're reading or Stede’s art history classes or sometimes just about the weather and still it’s the best part of Izzy’s morning.
He leaves at 6:50 so he can be on campus an hour before his first lecture.
Ed comes in at 7 and asks Izzy how the morning’s been, and Izzy always says it’s fine.
In another life, Izzy never meets Stede at all.
He lives his life dictated by the circumstances around him. He joins the navy at 15, he meets Edward at 25. They sail the Caribbean and make legends of themselves. Sometimes Ed is despondent, or manic, or happy, or violent. His life passes him the same as anyone else’s; he has some regrets, some things he wishes he had done differently. But overall at the end of it he’s proud of the life he led, and he never knows how different it could have been.
In another life, he dies in childhood. The white plague took many children that year.
In another life, Izzy is a flight attendant and Stede is one of his first class passengers. We can imagine how that one goes.
In another life, Izzy and Stede leave Ed on land. They sail off together to conquer the Caribbean. They might not be quite that successful, but they do their best and have a hell of a time trying.
Stede finally earns that insane confidence he’s always possessed. Izzy learns to be a bit more patient, to relax a little around the crew and his captain. He finds himself smiling more often than not, and he hums songs to himself while going about his work. They fight - both with each other and other ships - but they always talk it through afterwards.
Izzy nearly dies during an encounter with the navy and Stede decides it isn’t worth it anymore. They return to Ed as changed men, but not at all regretful of it.
In another life, Izzy kills Stede in the duel. He barely thinks about him again.
In another life, Izzy kills Stede on that island and takes the hostages without batting an eye.
In another life, Izzy fucks Stede at Spanish Jackie’s and neither of them ever tell a soul.
In another life, Izzy fucks Stede at Spanish Jackie’s and tells everyone.
In another life, Izzy is an auto mechanic. One day a customer comes in looking for help with his car that has been stalling out. The guy looks annoyingly flashy and he expects to walk out to a Rolls Royce or a Land Rover or some other obnoxious modern vehicle. What he finds in the lot is a 1970 Chevrolet El Camino SS.
It’s Izzy’s dream car.
He spends the better part of the morning berating Stede for how poorly he’s been treating the car. These systems are delicate, don’t you know? They don’t even produce this color anymore, don’t you know?
Stede doesn’t know, but he’s happy to learn, especially if Izzy is the one explaining it to him.
It isn’t usual for a customer to stay through an entire maintenance session, but Stede can’t bring himself to leave when Izzy is so passionate and competent. He Postmates them lunch for the man’s trouble - “whatever you want, my treat” - and they chat over sushi about the car and its history and then Izzy’s history and Stede’s other interests.
When Izzy is handing him back the keys, Stede asks if he’d like to take it for a drive.
Izzy looks at him for a moment. He looks at the keys. He looks back at him.
“Only if you join me.”
It’s Stede’s best and last first date.
In another life, Stede buys Ed and Izzy’s gin company and along the way to happily-ever-after Izzy buys a t-shirt he absolutely despises. It’s a pretty good story.
In another life, Izzy and Ed are tattoo artists. Stede buys a flower shop next door and they both fall for him head over heels.
In another life, Izzy is introduced to Stede through Ed. They’ve just started seeing each other. Izzy never gains the courage to tell Stede how he feels or what he thinks they could be to each other.
In another life, Stede dies in Izzy’s arms.
In most of these lives, Izzy is mostly happy. In some of them he’s deliriously so, and some of them not at all.
In some lives he’s abandoned, brushed aside, cast out. In others he’s embraced, wanted, and loved.
In one, Izzy is nearing his 70th birthday. He gave up piracy years ago and lives a quiet life in a coastal village no one will remember in 100 years. From time to time he takes the boat out on the water to feel the swell of the ocean and remember the life he’s had, the people he’s known, the love he’s felt.
In the evenings he sits and reads by the fire. The cat is curled on his lap and he strokes its fur absently. A cup of tea is on the table beside him, prepared just the way he likes. There’s snoring coming from the bedroom.
He is warm, and he is happy.
His husband shifts on the sofa beside him. His blond hair has long since gone silver, but it’s still wispy and curled just the way he remembers.
He has his own book in his hands, and glasses perched on the end of his nose.
Izzy looks at him.
Stede looks back.
And they smile.