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"Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well! Little Alex boy, how art thou?"
"Maryam! Oh thank Bog you've arrived, the millicents are after me and my starry banda of droogs has turned against me! Maryam, little sister, you have to help me hide, they mustn't catch me or I'll be in right bolshy trouble."
"And you vareet I'm going to help you? What for, Alex, what for?"
"Agh- If it's because of all those drats with your bratty, Maryam, I'll make it up to you! I swear it, he'd never so much as viddy me again!"
"HA! Don't make me guff. You really vareet I give dva cals about Billy?"
"...come again?"
"I was never close with him. Not when he was Pee's favorite son, the one who'd 'carry on the fa-'"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 'Son'?"
"I was a malchick. Now I'm a devotchka. Doth thou have a problem with that, cal-gulliver?"
"...ah- No, no, I don't. Appy-polly-loggies."
"That's what I messel. No, no, no, no, no, dear Alex, my problema with thou is thy treatment of my sistra."
"...thou has a sistra?"
"Oh, Bog help me- Thou gloopy sodding bratchny! That devotchka thou left all covered in the red-red krovvy tree nochies past after a right baddiwad tolchocking! Had to be hospitalized, she did. I never took you for a dama-tolchocker, Alex. Thou should be ashamed of thineself."
"It weren't me, Maryam! I swear it, I swear it weren't!"
"T'wasn't what she told me. And now, I'm going to do the same to you, Alex. And then I'm going to leave you for the millicents."
"Maryam-"
"SHUT IT! I will not filly these eegras with thou. All I want to sloosh from thee is thy creeches from now on. And keep my eemya out of thy rot!"
"MARYAM-!"