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It had started pretty innocently. Charlie knew his now husband, then boyfriend, had a deep love for awful puns, so it didn’t surprise him in the slightest when one year Nick decided to spice things up after their annual Halloween party with a little stupid wordplay game.
“Char, baby, you were the sexiest little Aladdin tonight, so I have a prize for you,” Nick had murmured, stripping off his slutty Bob the Builder costume and crawling between the sheets next to his boyfriend.
“What, are you going to build a magic carpet in your pants for me to ride on, Bob?” Charlie had asked, snuggling closer to Nick.
“No, I’m going to play a little game with you. It’s called ‘Nick or treat’ and it’s going to involve a lot of you asking for sweet things and me deciding if you’ll get them or if I’ll give you something else I have in mind. You might even get to knock on my back door to ask for something extra sweet,” Nick had explained, nuzzling into Charlie’s neck and starting to suck on the sensitive spot where his jaw met his ear.
Charlie hadn’t been sure if he was rolling his eyes out of pleasure or cringe at that point, but it didn’t matter. That night was filled with a lot of treats, and many tricks.
It escalated from there. Every year Nick tried to out-pun himself with game names and every year the names and the games grew more ridiculous. Charlie tried to act like he found the whole thing extremely foolish, but they both knew he wouldn’t have it any other way. And there were some notable benefits to be reaped from the games in the bedroom, so of course he let the chaos ensue.
There was the year when Nick, very drunk and in a slutty Sven the Reindeer costume, proudly announced that they were going to play a game of ‘Sick Or Neat’, which involved a lot of BDSM gear Nick had bought as a surprise, and immediately made Charlie sweat under his Kristof outfit. The ‘Dick Or Heat’ year was also a raging success, with Charlie practically ripping Nick’s slutty Mr. Potato Head costume off him in his determination to show that he, in fact, wanted both.
Of course, there were also the not so successful attempts. The first Halloween after their wedding was the year of the unfortunate ‘Flick Or Street’ incident, where Charlie had to choose a public place for them to fool around. He chose flick, which ended with them being thrown out of the local movie theatre. The tail of Nick’s slutty Marshall from Paw Patrol costume was never seen again.
And for very obvious reasons neither of them wanted to mention the ‘Kick Or Feet’ year ever again.
Charlie knew that Nick was exceptionally excited about his plans this year when he couldn’t even get his husband to concentrate on deciding their costumes. Usually, Nick loved coming up with costume ideas and Charlie loved executing them in a way that led to Nick being half naked.
“Darling, who – or what, I’m not discriminating against inanimate objects here – do you want to be this year for Halloween?”
Nick didn’t even glance up from his laptop, where Charlie could see at least 20 tabs open with different Google searches in all of them. “Huh? Oh, costumes, I don’t know. Anything’s fine. Batman?” Nick mumbled and continued his browsing.
Charlie felt his eyebrows shoot up. Now he was actually worried. “Sweetheart, please put the laptop down, slowly, and look at me. Did you, or did you not, just suggest you want to go as a DCU character for Halloween? I could and I would make him deliciously slutty, of course, but do you actually want this?”
Nick blinked and looked at him like he didn’t understand what Charlie was saying. “DCU? What? Eww, no, obviously. What are you talking about?”
“Our costumes, darling. You weren’t even listening? Ok, come on, rugby lad, what’s up? What’s on your mind? It’s not like you to be this absentminded, especially when we’re planning for your favourite holiday.”
Nick smiled at his husband. “First of all, Char, you know my favourite holiday is Christmas because I love seeing you in silly Christmas sweaters and then taking them off. But I am excited for Halloween. I just have a lot of, ahem, prep to do for it this year. I want it to be perfect.”
“Aww, Nick. It’s always perfect with you, you silly thing. You really don’t need to try anything special. I just need to know your demands for your costume so I can go buy one and start cutting as much fabric off it as I can.”
“Char, you are a wonder and a menace and of course I want to make it special for you. But yeah, a costume. I haven’t had time to think about it yet. Hmm. Maybe… I could be, like, the pope, perhaps?” Nick looked at Charlie with a shy smile and hopeful eyes.
“Nicholas Nelson-Spring, you heathen! How scandalous. I love it. One slutty pope, coming right up. Thank you. Now go take a shower or you’ll be late for rugby practice,” Charlie shooed Nick out of the room. He wanted to start researching pope costumes right away.
He took the laptop from the floor, sat down on their bed in a comfortable position and started closing Nick’s tabs. He really wasn’t trying to look, but as he continued clicking, his eyes registered some Google searches.
Chocolate sauce when is it too hot
First degree burn foreskin treatment
Peach rings
Human banana split
Make your own penis replica out of chocolate
Cream pies
No, not those kinds of cream pies, the other kind, well eventually the first kind as well
Then he saw the notes app was open. At the top of the page stood, in bold letters: LICK OR EAT. Yes, this was going to be a good year.