Chapter Text
“So, you mean to tell me that you two were the ones behind all of this? Every time I blacked out and woke up soaking wet in nothing but my underwear, every new purchase on my credit card that I didn't remember making, every new bump and bruise…that was all your doing?”
George and Harold were on the other side of that desk yet again. They looked at each other, silently wondering what to say or do next. They had never anticipated being in this situation before. In the gym, they managed to put off this discussion for a little while by pointing out that the whole school was still waiting outside and they needed an explanation for this afternoon. So, Krupp brought everyone in and assured them that all was well; Captain Underpants had saved the day again. However, before George and Harold could return to their classrooms, their principal sought them out. “You two. My office after school. Don’t think you’ve gotten out of explaining yourselves. We still have much to discuss.”
When they arrived at the office, Krupp sat behind his desk, menacing as ever. Melvin stood off to the side, sketching in his notepad. He didn’t say much, but he managed to look up from his drawing just long enough to smirk at the boys’ misfortune. To their surprise, a certain hero even sat in a swivel chair off to the side, reading a previous issue about his own adventures. There was nothing else to do but come clean, so George and Harold had explained everything. During their explanation, the boys stole glances at the Captain every so often, still processing the fact that the impossible had happened. Principal Krupp and Captain Underpants were in the same room at the same time. The two men, as different as night and day, had been given their own bodies.
“Well, yeah…” Harold replied. “But it’s okay! Now, you don’t have to deal with being Captain Underpants anymore! Right?
“You don’t get it, do you? I have a reputation to uphold and now I learn that the entire town has seen me in nothing but my briefs! And what’s worse, you two didn’t even think to tell me any of this until now!”
The blonde winced a little, shrinking in his seat. George noticed this and frowned, turning back to Krupp with a hardened look. “We didn’t tell you because we knew this is exactly how you would react! If you would just calm down---”
“Calm down!?” Krupp interrupted. “My entire life has been hijacked thanks to you and your silly little ring! I thought I didn’t know how to punish you before, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined, even from you two! I’ve done everything short of…” He paused. His eyes grew wide and the boys could practically see the lightbulb shining above his head before his smile grew devious. “Expulsion.”
George and Harold gasped. “WHAT!?” Melvin looked up from his sketchbook, taken back by the severity of the threat. The others didn’t notice that Captain Underpants had looked up as well. Although he still had the comic book positioned in front of him, he was no longer paying attention to its contents.
“That’s right,” Krupp said. “I’ve never had proof of any of your pranks except when Melvin gave me his Tattle Turtle 200, so there was only so much I could do. But this is different. I have all of the proof that I need right here.” With that, he gestured to Captain Underpants with one swift extension of his left arm.
George and Harold imagined what life would be like if they were expelled from Jerome Horwitz. There were other schools nearby, but the closest one to their neighborhood was a private school and they had heard horror stories about how strict those could be. Sure, the school they were currently attending was dull and drab, but better the devil they knew than the one they didn’t.
“Mr. Krupp, please,” Harold began. “Is there anything we could do to convince you to let us stay?”
“We’ll do anything!” George added.
The principal sat back in his chair and thought long and hard. Then, he sighed. “Fine. I’ll give you brats a chance to clean up the mess you’ve made. So, here’s what is going to happen next. You’re going to get rid of that oaf, undo the hypnosis you put me under, and give me back my life or you’ll be expelled for good!”
“Done,” The brunette stood. “Come on, Harold. I’m sure there’s a water fountain nearby.”
“George, don’t bother,” The blonde said. He leaned forward and spoke to his best friend in a low voice. “I’ve already tried getting him wet. It didn’t do anything.”
“Are you serious?” George whispered. Harold nodded.
Even Melvin was surprised by this. “Wait, really?” He flipped a page in his notebook and jotted down some notes. “Even if Mr. Krupp’s clone has reverted to a trance-like state, he should still be able to snap out of it in response to the previous stimuli…”
“They aren’t brats.”
All four of them turned to the last person in the room. “I’m sorry. What was that?” Krupp asked.
Captain Underpants stood and set the comic he was reading on the desk, leaning forward just enough to look down at Krupp. “George and Harold aren’t brats. I know you are upset, but you shouldn’t take it out on them. If you would just give them a chance, you would know that they’re really good boys at heart.”
“And how would you know my own students better than I do? You’ve only existed for a few hours!”
“Because they’re my dear sidekicks, and I’m not going anywhere until you apologize to them.”
“What!?” Krupp asked. “They’ve screwed up my life multiple times over and you want me to apologize to them!?”
Firmly, the hero replied, “Yes.”
The principal stared back, stunned. Melvin looked back and forth between Krupp and Captain Underpants, not sure what to do. Meanwhile, George and Harold looked at each other with a mix of shock and delight. After all of these years of dealing with Krupp, they now had a powerful ally. However, in no time at all, Krupp regained his usual smirk. “Heh. You really believe you’re some kind of superhero, don’t you?”
Captain Underpants crossed his arms. “I don’t believe I’m a superhero. I am one!”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard all day, and I’ve heard one of the quiet kids plot to take over the school! For one thing, what kind of superhero wears a tablecloth for a cape?” Krupp asked, gesturing to the hero’s makeshift garment.
The hero faltered at this. “Well…I admit that it is rather unorthodox, but it was the best I had on such short notice. Normally, my cape is a much more vibrant shade of red and it has polka dots and…” He turned his head just slightly as he spoke before the curtains on his wall stole his attention. He beamed. “And there it is!” With that, he untied the tablecloth and let it drop to the floor.
George realized what was happening first. “Wait, no! Cap, stop!”
But it was too late. The Captain ripped one of the curtains off of the window sill, making George and Harold cringe. “Hey! You can’t just--!” Krupp started.
Captain Underpants ignored him and tied the curtain around his neck instead. “See? This is much better! Now, I’m ready to fight for truth, justice, and all that is pre-shrunk and cottony!”
The principal’s face turned bright red. With clenched teeth, he hissed, “That is not your cape! Those are my curtains, you moron!”
“Curtains?” The superhero looked back at his cape, then the lone curtain remaining on the wall. “I see. I thought that was a strange place to hang your cape material…”
“CAPE MATERIAL!?” Krupp yelled. He twitched, one wrong word away from another explosion, before glancing at George and Harold. He took a deep breath, then stood and spun around to face Melvin. “Please tell me you know how to get rid of him!”
To their surprise, the redhead seemed to shrink a little. His shoulders flared up and he spoke at a low volume, so unlike the snooty confidence that George and Harold were used to from him. “Oh. Well…um…about that…”
Krupp crossed his arms. “What is it, Sneedly?”
“I can’t fix it overnight. It won’t take quite as long as making it did but it will still take a while…”
The principal furrowed his brows. “And how long is a while?”
“Three months…” Melvin muttered.
“THREE MONTHS!? It can’t take three months! I have a school to run! How am I supposed to do that while another man runs around with my face!?”
The boy stood up a little straighter and spoke at a normal volume, trying to regain his footing. “I’m sure you can find a way! You’re an amazing principal, sir! What’s one little setback?”
“This isn’t a little setback, Melvin. This is a huge problem and if you don’t come up with a faster solution, then I might just tell your teacher to get rid of all those extra credit points you’ve earned this year!”
The boy’s jaw dropped and he lost the ability to speak for a moment. When he regained his voice, he said, “Oh, no! Please don’t! I’ve worked so hard! Without that extra credit, I’ll be down to a B in Social Studies!”
George blinked. “...And that’s a bad thing?” He was lucky to get by with a D in that subject.
“No, you don’t understand. I need straight A’s! Otherwise, my parents will be so disappointed!”
“Well, do you have a faster way to reverse this or not?” Krupp asked.
Melvin hesitated. “I might. You see, my grandfather is a mineralogist and he travels all around the world, studying precious metals of all sorts. Recently, he discovered a new metal called Impossium. During his last visit, he gave me and my parents samples. I used mine to build the first Double-00-Melvin, but my parents still have their samples. If I explained the situation to them, then I’m sure they would hand them over so I could get started on that new prototype!”
“And that will make it so I don’t have to wait three months?”
“I can’t make any guarantees, but hopefully this will speed things up! Knowing my parents, they’ll want to run all sorts of tests on you and your clone. Would you both be willing to come to my house tonight? That way, we can get some of the prep work over with.”
Krupp’s eyes landed on George and Harold. “These two are coming along as well.”
The boys groaned. “Aw, man…” Harold muttered.
The Captain frowned. “But they had nothing to do with this!”
“Wrong.” Melvin turned to Krupp and instantly he was back in his element. “Sir, none of this would have happened if George and Harold hadn’t taken my Double-00-Melvin! There would be no other you, no evil clones, no clone army…”
Harold frowned. “I thought you said that the Gooch clone wasn’t evil.”
“Well, I was wrong! There! Happy?”
“And that’s diddly squat compared to all the trouble you’ve caused today!” Krupp added. “So, either you come with us to Melvin’s house or I’ll expel you both right now! What’s it gonna be, bubs?”
The best friends frowned. Krupp made a lot of empty threats in the past, but if these past few months taught them anything, it was that they didn’t want to be on the receiving end when he made a serious threat like that. Harold sighed. “At least let us call our parents first.”
“No need. I’ll call them myself,” Krupp replied. “I’ll tell them that you’re studying at another classmate’s house, at my recommendation. And on that note,” He opened the door to his office and gestured to the waiting area outside. “Everyone, out. I might as well make those calls now.”
George and Harold walked out of the room along with Melvin. However, even after the kids left the room, one person stayed put. Krupp frowned at the man who shared his face. “Didn’t you hear me? I said out!”
Captain Underpants didn’t budge. “I meant what I said. Those boys deserve an apology.”
Krupp groaned. “Will it get you out of my office?” The hero nodded. “Fine.” Krupp poked his head out the doorway, looking at the two boys. “I’m sorry for calling you two brats!” Next, he looked at the Captain, then the door, then back at him again.
Captain Underpants smiled. “See? That wasn’t too bad, was it?” With that, he left the room and sat with the boys. Krupp rolled his eyes, then shut the door.
The best friends blinked. “Did he just…?” Harold started.
George shook his head. “Captain Underpants forced him to do it. That doesn’t count.”
“Don’t worry, sidekicks,” The hero said. “I won’t let him tear you down!”
“You seem to be taking this…awfully well,” Harold said.
“Did you already know?” George asked.
“Not exactly. I had my suspicions about this ‘Principal Krupp’ disguise but keeping you kids safe always took priority. Though I wish you had told me sooner.”
“We thought you’d get scared.”
“Nonsense! I’m the amazing Captain Underpants! I’m not scared of anything!” However, as soon as he said those words, his smile faltered. “Except spray starch. And bees….And really cold water. But aside from those things, nothing fazes me! Also…” He leaned in closer to the boys and looked over at Melvin, who was too busy sketching to pay much attention to them. “I never noticed this before, but is it just me, or does Melvin look a lot like Anti-Humor Boy?” George and Harold snickered, their anxieties lifted for that short moment.
That night, Mr. and Mrs. Sneedly took their spots on the couch with their son in the middle while the others sat on other chairs in the family room. George and Harold had even found the extra set of clothes that the Captain had abandoned in the art room, though he still had no idea how to put on a tie correctly. They got away with having him there by claiming that he was Krupp’s younger brother, much to the principal’s dismay.
“So, what is it that you need help with?” Mrs. Sneedly asked.
“Well, Cindy and Gaylord, we all know how incredibly gifted your child is…” Krupp began.
“Of course we do.” Mrs. Sneedly looked down at her son and tousled his hair a bit too roughly. “He’s our little genius.”
Melvin groaned. “Ugh, Mother…”
“Yes, but in this case, his talents were put to bad use,” Krupp explained. “You see, he made a cloning device--”
“The Double-00-Melvin,” The redhead corrected. “With all due respect, sir, I can take it from here.” He adjusted his body so that he could face his parents while speaking to them. “I wanted to make a device that can clone me and that way I can do all my inventing, chores, and homework twice as fast. I would literally be in two places at once.”
Mr. Sneedly nodded. “That does sound interesting and quite useful if used in the right circumstances.”
Melvin grinned. “Right. I built a prototype and it worked perfectly…”
“Saying it worked perfectly is an exaggeration and you know it, Melvin,” Harold interrupted. He and George snickered, their fingers mingling as they gave each other a quick ‘quiet five.’
The redhead glared before turning back to his parents, gesturing to George and Harold. “But then these two numbskulls broke it and I need to build another one as soon as possible!”
“Why don’t you?” Mr. Sneedly asked.
Melvin hesitated, opting to look anywhere but directly at either of his parents. “Well, you see…” He said, growing quieter the longer he spoke. “I may or may not have used my Impossium sample from Grandpa…”
Mrs. Sneedly gasped. “Melvin!”
Mr. Sneedly frowned. “So, you’re telling us that instead of saving your Impossium to invest in your education one day like your grandfather wanted, you wasted it?”
The boy frowned, cheeks turning bright pink. “I-I didn’t waste it…”
“Well, the Double-00-Melvin is destroyed, isn’t it? You might as well have tossed that Impossium in the trash! What were you thinking, young man?”
“It wasn’t his fault!” George cried. Melvin’s parents looked over at him. “I broke it. I stomped it into oblivion.”
Silence. “George, was it? Why on Earth did you do that?” Mrs. Sneedly asked.
“He had a good reason to,” Captain Underpants spoke up. “You see, Melvin used the device on one of his classmates to test it and the clone turned out to be evil. Then, the clone used the gun to make copies of himself until he had a whole army of evil clones and---”
“Cap!” Harold cried. He put a finger to his lips. The hero nodded and pantomimed zipping his own mouth shut.
Mrs. Sneedly sighed. “Is this all you came here to tell us, Mr. Krupp? We will be having a very long talk with Melvin about not bringing his inventions with him to school, we assure you.”
“That’s not it. I need Melvin to build another Double-00-Melvin. He needs more Impossium,” Krupp explained.
Mr. Sneedly frowned. “Well, we’re not giving him any of ours.”
“Mr. Sneedly, please?” Harold jumped in. “If he could fix the Double-00-Melvin, then he could make sentient clones! That will pay for his education better than any old metal ever could!”
“Do you know how much Impossium sells for right now?”
“How much?”
Mr. Sneedly went to Harold and whispered the amount in his ear. The blonde gasped and whispered that same amount to George. The latter whispered, “Dang. That much for one gram?”
“Yes, and it’s only expected to grow in the next eight years. We can’t take such a big financial risk on a device that makes hostile clones.”
“But the Double-00-Melvin didn’t just make clones!” George objected. “It got rid of them too, and there’s someone really important that we have to de-clone!”
“And if we don’t do it, Mr. Krupp will expel me and George from school!” Harold added.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not that serious.”
“No, he’s right,” Krupp said. “I really said that I would expel them if they didn’t fix this mess…”
Melvin’s father sighed. “Well, forgive me for saying this next part aloud, but that sounds like it would be for the best.”
“Gaylord!” Mrs. Sneedly said.
“What? You’ve heard how Melvin talks about these two. They’re disruptive in class, never follow instructions, and encourage their classmates to be the same way! Maybe a new school will do them some good.”
“Mother, Father, please?” Melvin said. “George and Harold drive me crazy, but they don’t deserve to get kicked out of school. I never ask for anything from you, but I just need this one thing!”
“What is so important that you need to fix the Double-00-Melvin right this second?” Mr. Sneedly asked, growing impatient.
The boy hesitated. “Well…”
That was when Krupp stood. “Allow me, Melvin.” All eyes were on the principal as he took a deep breath. “I’m the one who got cloned.” He gestured to Captain Underpants. “This man here isn’t my brother. He’s a clone of me that was made with the Double-00-Melvin and I need your son to invent a new one so he can de-clone me.”
The group expected Melvin’s parents to be shocked in some way, shape, or form. Instead, they hardly reacted at all. “You know, that makes a lot of sense. No wonder you were so frantic to get this done,” Melvin’s father said.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Melvin’s mother asked.
Krupp blinked. “Well, I didn’t think you would believe me, to be honest.”
“Nonsense. We know our boy is talented,” Mr. Sneedly said. “I don’t understand why this is such an issue though. You’ve mentioned how demanding your job as a principal can be and now you have someone who can help you.”
He frowned. “He can’t help me with anything that serious. He’s…he’s…” He looked over at Captain Underpants and swallowed hard.
The hero tilted his head slightly. “Are you giving me permission to reveal my true identity?”
Krupp sighed. “Go ahead. You might as well.”
“Wonderful!” With that, he began removing his clothes. Mr. and Mrs. Sneedly gasped, the latter covering her son’s eyes.
“Uh, Captain? I don’t think the whole stripping thing is really necessary!” Harold said.
After he finished stripping, the Captain took a red blanket off of a nearby chair. He tied it around his neck, beaming. “TRA, LA, LA!~”
Krupp groaned, smacking his palm against his forehead. “Someone kill me…”
The hero turned to face them in all his cape-and-underwear glory. “So, you see? It was me, Captain Underpants, all along!”
Mr. and Mrs. Sneedly gasped again, but for a different reason. “That’s impossible,” The former said. “There is no logical reason your clone would believe he’s a superhero unless…” He turned to Krupp, eyes wide. “Were you the real-life Captain Underpants the whole time?”
“No! There is no real-life Captain Underpants! He just thinks he’s a hero!” Krupp said.
Mrs. Sneedly ignored his reply. “This is a lot to take in. How could this be? Captain Underpants is bald and you have hair! Unless…Do you wear a toupee?”
George leaned over to whisper to Harold. “I thought these two were supposed to be geniuses.” The blonde shrugged.
Melvin sighed. “Back in October, Mr. Krupp was going to put George and Harold in separate classes, so they hypnotized him with their 3D Hypno Ring to make him think he was their comic book hero. Whenever he heard anyone snap their fingers, including himself, he would turn into the Captain. When he got wet, he would switch back to his normal self. This was the case until today when Principal Krupp was cloned, except his clone turned out to take on the Captain Underpants identity entirely.” He turned to George and Harold. “Does that sound about right?”
George shrugged. “More or less…”
Mrs. Sneedly turned to her husband. “Well, even if we can’t repair the Double-00-Melvin right away, this would make a very fascinating case study.”
“True, and we might as well figure out why the clone has taken on this persona entirely while the original subject has abandoned it,” Mr. Sneedly agreed. He stood. “Everyone, to the truck.”
With that, everybody went to the truck, which was quite old with faded white paint and torn-up stickers on the side. As they went in, Melvin provided a brief explanation. “Professor P used to own this truck but since he disappeared, we’ve claimed it for ourselves.”
George and Harold looked at each other, remembering how they shrunk the professor down to the size of a bee during their first adventure. “Right…Disappeared…” The former said.
Mr. Sneedly had both Krupp and Captain Underpants sit in nearby chairs before offering them helmets. “We’ll start with a couple of brain scans.” While the Captain put on the helmet right away, Krupp hesitated before putting his on. “Now, we’re just going to make sure we’re connected,” The latter said. “This might sting a little.”
He went to the computer and pressed a big red button. While Krupp convulsed in his chair, the Captain merely giggled. “That tickles!”
With that, the monitor showed two different brains. The two looked identical in nearly every way, which made sense; as hard as it was to believe, it was the same brain that morning. “Now, Mr. Krupp, what do you think of children?” Mr. Sneedly asked.
Krupp frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just tell me how you feel about them.”
He sighed. “This generation has no respect for authority figures at all. Too many kids today are bums who are more interested in reading comic books all day than learning how to be functioning members of society!” As Krupp described his thoughts, George and Harold noticed a prominent section of his brain flashing on the computer screen.
Mr. Sneedly turned to the Captain. “And you? How do you feel about them?”
“Kids are the best!” Captain Underpants replied. “So sweet and innocent, undeterred by the worries of the grown-up world…I’ll do anything to see their smiles and laughter!” The same effect happened for the hero, except a different part of the brain that flashed for him. George and Harold recognized the purple part as the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus, the little brain lobe that housed the entire human capacity for laughter. In other words, it was the part that made them…them.
“Fascinating…” Mrs. Sneedly said.
“And what’s the best way to deal with children?” Mr. Sneedly asked.
“They need discipline, structure, and order. They’ll be much more well-adjusted when they start taking life seriously!” Krupp replied. That same section of his brain began flashing onscreen again.
“No, no! You have it all wrong!” Captain Underpants retorted. “They need to be their silly, creative, wonderful little selves for as long as they still have it in them!” His Hahaguffawchuckleamalus flashed again and the boys noticed that even though their brains looked similar, they were not perfectly identical. The silly lobe in the Captain’s brain looked a little bigger than the one Krupp had.
“Silly, you say? Would you say goofing off is a good thing?” Mrs. Sneedly asked.
“Of course!” The Captain replied.
“Not!” Krupp finished.
Mr. Sneedly turned and whispered something to his wife. She whispered something back, then nodded before turning to George and Harold. “Kids, do me the honor and tell the Captain a joke you think he would like.”
George thought for a moment. “Uh…Oh! I got one! Guess what, Cap?”
“What?” He asked, tilting his head.
“Chicken butt!”
It took Captain Underpants a moment to get the joke, but once he did, he burst out laughing. All the while, his Hahaguffawchuckleamalus flashed and flashed on the screen. “Chicken butt!”
“I don’t get it…” Melvin muttered.
Krupp frowned. “Oh, come now! That joke was immature and you know it!”
“Immature is exactly my kind of humor!”
“Now, I understand what’s going on here. You can remove your helmets now,” Mr. Sneedly said. Krupp and Captain Underpants did so.
“So, what’s wrong with them?” Melvin asked.
“This isn’t a problem with their brains, necessarily,” His father replied. “Mr. Krupp’s Comprankerpudgeon is very active while his Hahaguffawchuckleamalus is less responsive, but his brain is perfectly healthy. Captain Underpants here simply has the reverse effect, but that is to be expected in a situation like this.”
“The Comprankerpudgeon?” Harold asked.
“We’d be happy to explain it to you,” Mrs. Sneedly said. “To start with, how much do you kids know about the human brain?”
Melvin lit up at that question and he raised his hand. “Oooh! Oooh! Can I tell them? We learned about the child brain not too long ago, but they don’t know about the adult brain!”
She sighed but smiled with all the warmth and adoration of a loving mother. “Go ahead, baby.”
Melvin chuckled before turning to the others. “The Comprankerpudgeon plays a vital role in the mature brain. Even though everyone is born with one, it becomes active during puberty. This activation happens shortly after the Thinking About Candy-lopolis converts to the Craving Caffeine Daily-lopolis, for example, but still before secondary sex characteristics fully develop and mature. The Comprankerpudgeon demands structure and routine, which we all need at least some of in our lives. However, when this part of the brain becomes too active, it results in moodiness, strict adherence to the rules, and values harsh discipline above all else.”
“So, basically the Comprankerpudgeon makes adults all grouchy and mean…” Harold surmised.
“In other words, it makes Krupp…Krupp,” George added.
“Not to be blunt, but yes. Exactly,” Melvin agreed.
“So, why does it flip around when he becomes Captain Underpants?”
“Simple. Hypnosis isn’t fabrication entirely, just an altered state of being. The character he was instructed to be requires cheerfulness, optimism, and humor,” He explained. “Taking on this persona effectively disabled the Comprankerpudgeon and revitalized the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus.”
“But none of this explains why I’m still me when the boys snap their fingers,” Krupp said. “Or why being wet no longer snaps the other guy out of it. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to have control again but I would like to know how being cloned gave me that agency back.”
Melvin frowned. “Well, you see, I hadn’t made the Double-00-Melvin with your unique situation in mind…”
“So?”
“So, the Double-00-Melvin split the effects of the hypnosis entirely…You have now reverted to normal, but as a result, your clone has embraced the Captain Underpants persona whole-heartedly.”
Krupp’s eyes widened. “Meaning there is no splashing him with water and making him go away…He’s staying like this…” Melvin nodded. Krupp swallowed hard. “Okay…” He turned to Mr. and Mrs. Sneedly. “But that shouldn’t be a problem! He stays with you for the next three months while you fix the Double-00-Melvin, then ZAP! This whole situation will be over and done with!”
Melvin’s parents said nothing. They just stared Krupp down with blank, unreadable expressions on their faces. Finally, Mr. Sneedly broke the silence. “Who said he’s staying with us for three months?”
“Well, it only makes logical sense that he does! He’s your son’s creation, so now he’s your son’s problem!”
“Melvin is a 10-year-old and he has his studies to focus on,” Mrs. Sneedly interrupted. “He is nowhere near ready to be responsible for another human.”
“And don’t even think of suggesting we watch him,” Mr. Sneedly added. “We have our careers to think about on top of raising Melvin…You can’t expect us to put a hold on all that.”
Krupp looked at the children in the room. Then, he looked at Captain Underpants. Finally, his gaze returned to Melvin’s parents. “May I talk to you both outside for a moment?”
They whispered to each other before Mr. Sneedly offered their reply, “Fine.”
“Can I come too?” Captain Underpants asked.
“No!” Krupp snapped. “Just…Stay here.” Under his breath, he muttered, “The adults are talking.”
The Captain frowned. “Alright.” With that, Krupp left the room to speak with Melvin’s parents. Once he was gone, Captain Underpants sighed. “I’m not a child…”
“To be fair, you are dressed as a giant baby,” Melvin said.
“Hey, shut up!” Harold snapped.
Just then, George got in between them. “Okay, that’s enough. This situation is complicated as it is. We don’t need infighting.” The redhead rolled his eyes but said nothing else. George turned to him. “Is it ok if I ask you a question though?”
“What is it?” Melvin asked.
“You don’t seem to be shocked like your parents were. Why is that?”
The other boy sighed, running a hand through the back of his head. “I kinda had a hunch that Krupp and Captain were the same, even before all this…”
“But how did you figure out the truth when your parents didn’t?” Harold asked.
“Well, if I’m being honest, I thought the same way as they did but that all changed one day when I stopped by the office. I arrived a little early and briefly saw him without his toupee. Everything fell into place then. I was kind of disappointed when I saw the Captain in the gym earlier today because I thought that meant I had been proven wrong, but of course, I was right.” Melvin looked at the door. “Still, I never really considered how all this would affect Principal Krupp until now…”
“Don’t worry. We’ll fix this,” George assured him.
“You better. I’m keeping that perfect GPA,” Melvin said.
That was when the adults came back in. Krupp took a deep breath. “I cannot believe I am doing this.” With that, he turned to Captain Underpants. “You really don’t have anywhere to stay, huh?”
“Well, no,” The superhero admitted with a shrug. “No permanent residence.”
“Then, you can stay with me for now.”
George and Harold gasped. They thought that Krupp would sooner drop the Captain off at a random dark alley than take him in. This took the hero by surprise too. “Really? You want me to stay with you?”
“Not at all, but I’m not made of money so I can’t afford for you to stay someplace else. This is just a temporary arrangement, alright?” Krupp asked. Captain Underpants nodded, too stunned to even speak.
With that, they said their goodbyes to Melvin and his parents. Then, the two went to the car, preparing to take George and Harold back home. “Mr. Krupp, are you still going to expel us after all this?” Harold asked.
Krupp paused, hand on the car door, before letting out a heavy sigh. “No, I suppose not. Even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything. There isn’t much I can do other than wait for Melvin to fix his device…but please. No more goofing off at school, at least for a little while.”
Harold grinned at George before the two got in the backseat of the car. As Krupp got in, Captain Underpants took the passenger seat up front. The former didn’t realize it but the hero stared at him like he was a puzzle that needed to be solved. He looked like a villain and sounded like one at times, but the Captain got the sense that he wasn’t as mean as he made himself out to be. A true evildoer would dump the hero out on the street and expel his sidekicks without a second thought, but Krupp hadn’t done either of those things. Maybe, just maybe, his sidekicks had the wrong idea about this man.
The next day, George and Harold had a sleepover in the treehouse. At that moment, they were watching a movie on the TV. The boys also had mini chocolate donuts, barbeque chips, and orange cream soda at their side. However, one of the boys wasn’t really paying attention to the movie anymore. Harold sighed. “Everything okay?” George asked.
Harold hesitated before ultimately deciding to tell the truth. “No…”
George frowned. He went to the TV and pressed the pause button. “Still thinking about Captain Underpants?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s one thing for Krupp to yell at us but I don’t want him to hurt the Captain…”
“Hey, come on. This is Captain Underpants we’re talking about. He’s the most positive person on the planet. He’ll be okay. In fact, maybe this will be good for Mr. Krupp. He could get a new friend out of all of this.”
“Krupp and Captain? Friends?” The blonde asked, as if his friend had suggested that Miss Edith was secretly an alien in disguise.* He shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s never gonna happen. Krupp hates Cap, remember?”
“Only because he knows the truth about who he is. They were getting along fine before that,” George pointed out.
Harold frowned. “You’re right. We shouldn’t have let them figure it out so fast. They could’ve been friends…”
He could see it now. Krupp and Captain Underpants stood in a field of flowers, the sun shining down on them. The principal beamed at the other man. “I’m so glad I got to meet you! You’re my favorite superhero of all time!”
“And you’re my favorite random civilian whose existence is in no way correlated to my own!” Captain Underpants replied with his signature grin.
“Wanna frolic in these flowers?”
“Do I!?
With that, the two held hands and skipped through the field of flowers, frolicking and laughing together all day long.
George didn’t know what to say to that at first. “Um…I’m not sure that’s how it would go down exactly.”
Harold sighed. “Yeah…Where would we find a field of flowers in bloom during this time of year?”
“Well, I still think there’s a chance he could come around,” The dark-skinned boy said, popping some barbeque chips into his mouth.
“But what if he doesn’t? I really don’t know how to feel about all this. I’m happy that we can have Captain Underpants all the time now, but…”
George placed a hand on Harold’s shoulder. “Hey. If I’ve learned anything these past few months, it’s that no matter how bad things seem in the moment, everything always turns out fine in the end. It’s the same here. Trust me.”
Harold grinned. He pressed the play button on the TV and scooted back, this time resting his head on his best friend’s lap. “Okay, George. I trust you.”