Chapter Text
Charlie woke in starts and fits. He kept making sad little sounds, whimpers and whinges as he tilted his head like he was trying to sense out where Nick was. And every time, Nick was there. He’d start talking about nothing, just whispering nonsensical platitudes or reading Tweets on his phone or pulling out the book and getting through a few random chapters. Charlie would drift off again, breaths heavy in his chest. Nick knew, every time, that it would happen again. Charlie would wake, confused and scared, making these small sounds in the back of his throat that twisted Nick’s gut. And every time he sought out his boyfriend, Nick would be there.
It was awkward as it always was, sitting over Charlie’s bed with Jane on the other side. They never did quite get along, even after everything in October. Nick thought that she might have blamed Nick for Charlie’s problems. Sometimes, in the darkest parts of his mind, he blamed himself, too. Sometimes, in the even darker parts, the little sectors he rarely ever visited except when he was enraged and frustrated, Nick blamed Jane.
He could tell she didn’t want him here. He’d figured Julio called his mum without Jane’s knowledge, or maybe even her permission. When Charlie woke, they both would sit forward, and every time he would seek out Nick. Jane wanted to be a source of comfort for her own son. Nick understood that. But he also knew that, even with his relationship with his own mum, his second favourite person in the universe, if he was in Charlie’s place, he’d want his boyfriend first. The only difference was that he knew Sarah Nelson would never begrudge them that.
Luckily, they didn’t have to make conversation. They stayed quiet as Charlie slept. Each of them had a hand of his in theirs. They sat, keeping Charlie company.
At some point, he stopped shivering. A fierce sweat broke out all over his body. His face twisted up in discomfort. Even as he slept, he groaned and whimpered, hurt little sounds coming from his throat that made Nick want to cry. He did his best to soothe his boyfriend through whatever was happening. He whispered loving encouragements in his ear and stroked his free hand over Charlie’s arm. He swept away the curls that were plastered to his forehead, slick with sweat. The crease between his brows eased at the touch, so Nick kept doing it. He stroked his hand through Charlie’s drenched curls, scratching his nails ever-so-gently over his scalp the same way that always turned his boyfriend to mush in his arms. It did the same thing now, helping him ease back against the bed even as his eyes stayed clenched and his jaw stayed tight. Nick passed his thumb between his brows, relieving the deep creases there. His hands were covered in his boyfriend’s sweat, but he didn’t care. Not when he could see the way Charlie relaxed under his careful ministrations. Jane said nothing through it all, just looked on with a watchful eye as Nick continued petting Charlie’s head, gentle and loving as he always was.
It wasn’t long after that a nurse came in to take Charlie’s vitals. His heart rate made her hum in displeasure as she took down the numbers, as did his blood pressure. Nick didn’t understand the numbers he saw, just kept soothing his boyfriend through the procedures. At his temperature, though, the nurse made a sound of triumph. Both Nick and Jane glanced up, hopeful.
“His temp’s gone almost all the way down,” the nurse told them. “Just over 37 Celsius now.”
Nick could have cried at the news. Charlie’s fever had broken, much closer to normal.
“Do you have any news on what could’ve caused it yet?” Jane asked the nurse.
Unfortunately, though, the woman just shook her head in reply. “The tests should be coming back soon. The doctor will have that information. I’ll send him in soon to take a look at him.”
Jane thanked the nurse while Nick pressed relieved kisses to Charlie’s sweat-soaked face. The perspiration was drying now, leaving him sticky in a way that Nick knew made him uncomfortable. He called to the nurse as she was leaving and she turned, brows raised as she waited for Nick to speak again.
He glanced over at Jane, who was watching with an inquisitive look. He’d barely thought before he called for the worker, and he was a bit ashamed to have said something out of turn. Still, he’d spoken, and he knew with one glance at his sleeping boyfriend that it was better to say something now.
“Could we get a cloth or something?” He asked softly, blushing. “He’s never liked being so sweaty and I was wondering if we could wipe him down a bit?”
The nurse, to her credit, just gave him a soft smile. “Of course, dearie,” she told him. With that, she disappeared out the door.
Nick ignored his boyfriend’s mother sitting across from him, watching him with a cryptic expression. Maybe it was rude, but they’d all had a long night, and he supposed he could be forgiven for his faux pas.
Eventually, Nick forced himself to speak. For Charlie, he reminded himself. “I brought some extra clothes for him,” he said. “I know it can be a bit of a rush to get someone to the hospital, especially in the middle of the night. So I figured… if you maybe didn’t have time to… really think about it. Or just to… give him more options.” He cringed at himself, his stilted sentences. “I understand if you don’t want me to help him get clean or changed. Just figured I’d offer what I have.”
Jane observed him with an unreadable look for a long time. Nick wished Julio and his mum would come back so that this conversation could be a bit less awkward. Finally, Jane spoke, “Alright. Thank you.”
Nick supposed that was the best he’d get out of his boyfriend’s mum right now.
The nurse came back with some cloths and a dish of water along with one that was empty. In addition, she brought a change of sheets. She offered to assist, but Jane declined, so the nurse told them to hit the call button when they were done so they could change the sheets. Nick was relieved; even if this woman was a nurse and it was her job, he knew Charlie would hate anyone seeing him without clothes, especially a stranger. As it was, Nick was trying to decide if it might be best to just wipe down his exposed skin and leave the change for when he was awake.
He was just about to bring this up to his boyfriend’s mum when she interrupted, “I’ll be out in the hall. Take the time you need, Nick.”
He watched her go, shocked. Did that actually just happen? Did she really just allow Nick to have full privacy with his boyfriend to do something like this? It wasn’t a sexual act, sure, but it was intimate, and it required Nick to undress Charlie. And Jane Spring just left.
Nick’s hands were shaking as he pulled out the extra clothes he’d brought for Charlie. He knew his boyfriend well, knew his body pretty well, too, and he figured his boyfriend would appreciate comfortable clothes. Nick had brought two sets of clothes for him. Unfortunately, Charlie only ever left socks and underwear at Nick’s house, always preferring to wear Nick’s clothes whenever he had the chance. Nick never minded, and he didn’t now, but he wasn’t sure if Charlie would rather be in his own clothes than in Nick’s. It didn’t matter now, he supposed, because it wasn’t like he’d had any other option.
Nick was careful as he drew back the covers, his hands trembling as he did. He considered his boyfriend’s prone form, feeling like a monster for doing this without his consent. Maybe he should have Jane come do it instead.
Just as he was considering it, he watched Charlie’s eyes flutter. He groaned, face scrunching. Nick dropped the clothes on the table. Immediately, he reached for Charlie’s hand. His boyfriend opened his eyes and immediately looked at Nick.
His eyes were still glassy, but his gaze was clearer than it’d been all night. He groaned again and shifted closer to Nick.
“Hi,” Nick whispered. His throat ached with the sudden strain, eyes welling with tears.
Charlie hummed, eyelids fluttering. “Woz happ’n?”
Nick gave him a little smile and stroked a hand through Charlie’s curls. “You had a really bad fever, love.”
Charlie sighed, leaning into Nick’s petting like a cat. “Hospital?” He slurred.
Nick swallowed heavily. “Yeah.”
They were quiet. Nick thought maybe his boyfriend had fallen back asleep, but then Charlie’s face screwed up again. Nick felt a flash of panic, worried Charlie was in pain or discomfort, when his boyfriend spoke, “Gross.”
Nick huffed, relieved and amused. He was dangerously close to tears. “If it’s alright with you, I was gonna wipe you down and change your clothes. Is that okay?”
Charlie hummed, considering, then nodded slightly. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” Nick answered. He leaned down and pressed a swift kiss to Charlie’s forehead. “Go back to sleep, love. I’ll take care of you.”
Charlie hummed again and melted back into the pillows. Before he drifted off, he mumbled, “I know.”
Nick sighed in relief and waited another few minutes before he resumed what he was doing. Glad to have permission, he considered the clothes he’d brought and went back to his boyfriend. Charlie stirred slightly as Nick helped him out of his clothes, and Nick gave him gentle kisses as Charlie tried his best to assist him, raising his arms as much as he could to help Nick remove his shirt. Nick humoured him, even if it took longer with Charlie’s help.
Charlie was almost asleep again by the time Nick got him out of his clothes. He was shivering, so Nick worked quickly, with gentle sweeps of a wet cloth over his sweaty skin. He wiped him down from head to toe, focussed on the task at hand. He rolled him onto his side and got his back, careful. Charlie was boneless under his ministrations, awake, but barely, sighing every so often.
When he was done, Nick was almost disappointed. He loved it, taking care of Charlie like this. He had his boyfriend’s complete love and trust, and he returned it right back. Charlie trusted him when he was so vulnerable. He handed over the control to Nick entirely when that was by far the hardest thing he’d ever done. Nick could’ve cried. As it was, he simply moved aside the used cloths and got the clothes he’d brought. He sat Charlie up, leaning him against Nick’s front to help him into his shirt. The pants were more difficult, but eventually he got Charlie fully dressed and resting back in bed. Nick put aside his sweaty clothes and used rags then hit the call button.
“A nurse will come by soon to change your bedclothes,” Nick told Charlie. His boyfriend just hummed and reached out blindly for Nick, who eagerly took his hand.
It wasn’t long before the nurse from earlier was back with another, a man. Both nurses were quick and methodical about their work, jostling Charlie as little as possible. They settled him back easily against the bed with the fresh sheets and took the old ones and the used rags and disappeared. Nick thought he saw their parents outside, talking to someone else. They looked worried.
“Nick,” Charlie whispered, breaking Nick’s thoughts. Nick hummed. “Come?”
Charlie weakly patted the bed beside him. Nick easily gave in and sat next to Charlie. He leaned back against the pillows, his head against the wall. Charlie settled his head in Nick’s lap with a contented sigh.
“Thank you,” he said sleepily. “For taking care o’ me.”
Nick smiled and stroked a hand up and down Charlie’s back. “I’m so happy to do it, Char. Always.”
Charlie muttered something Nick couldn’t understand, but he knew what his boyfriend said anyway, and responded in kind as Charlie drifted off, his head pillowed on Nick’s thigh.
“I love you, too.”
***
9 A.M.
***
Julio was so out of his depth. He’d felt like he’d been drowning for years now, ever since his sweet boy’s life had spun out of control when he was just thirteen years old. Every time he thought he’d found solid ground to stand on, to hold his head above water, his feet were kicked out from under him, and he was left desperate to find footing again.
“We’re not certain,” the doctor said for maybe the hundredth time in five minutes. “We just want you to know now, all the possibilities.”
Julio maybe forgot how to breathe. He couldn’t tell. It felt like his heart had stopped beating, the second the doctor said that dreadful word.
Eventually, the doctor let them go. The three parents stared at each other, unsure of what to do. They all knew what they wanted to do, what they could do, but what they were too terrified to do.
Still, desire won out over fear, just like it always would when it came to their children. Julio opened the door and allowed the two women in first.
Nick glanced up from where he’d been watching Charlie sleep, his head pillowed in Nick’s lap as he stroked a hand through Charlie’s curls. His son was absolutely swamped in Nick’s clothes, looking cosy and so small, too small.
Nick offered them a smile that quickly fell when none of the adults returned it.
“What happened?” The boy asked. He was young, so young, and he sounded scared.
All three adults turned and exchanged a look with one another. We can’t, they each seemed to say. He’s so young. He’s too young.
As if reading their minds, Nick said, “I’m nearly eighteen, you know. If something’s wrong, you can tell me.”
This was the same boy who’d saved Julio’s son’s life. The same boy who’d put a smile on Charlie’s face, a smile that Julio barely recognised after so long without it. A smile he hadn’t even realised had disappeared.
“You’re right,” Sarah said shakily. She took a deep breath and made her way to the chair beside Nick. She took his hand, the one not petting through Charlie’s hair. “Nicky, we just spoke to the doctor.”
When she didn’t continue, Nick glanced at the Springs. “Okay?” He pressed.
Julio sighed. If Sarah agreed, then they should tell him. Besides, he was right; Nick was nearly eighteen years old. He was a few months from university. He could know; he deserved to know. Keeping it from him would do no favours to anyone.
“Nick,” Julio said softly. He went and stood beside Sarah, bringing his wife over beside him. A united front, it felt like. Not for the first time, it felt like Julio and Jane had gained a third parent for their children, alongside a fourth child. Sarah had said she felt the same. Julio glanced at his wife, then his friend, then the boy who’d stolen his son’s heart and who’d gladly handed over his own in return.
“Nick,” Julio started again. “The doctor got some of the test results back. Charlie’s white blood cell count is very high.” His voice caught in his throat. This couldn’t be happening. It really, really couldn’t be happening.
Sarah picked up where Julio left off, giving Nick’s hand a squeeze. “They’re saying it may be leukaemia.”
Nick stared at them, tears filling quickly in his eyes, his chest rising and rising like he couldn’t breathe out, just in, in, in, in.
“They’re not certain,” Jane jumped in quickly. “They wanted us to know that they’re taking this seriously since it can often be misdiagnosed. They’re going to do more tests, to see what else it could be, and the oncologist is going to look at the results first thing in the morning.”
Julio nodded with her. As much for himself as for Nick, he said, “It could be something else. The doctor said a lot of things can look like leukaemia. They just want to cover all their bases.”
Nick cried silently, continuing to stare at the three, still not breathing out. Julio wondered somewhere if the boy’s lungs might burst.
Suddenly, he let it all go in a shaky breath, body releasing its tension like a puppet with its strings cut. “God,” he gasped out desperately. He slouched over Charlie, barely breathing again, just trembling as he held the sleeping boy in his lap. He didn’t move, didn’t jostle him, did his best not to disturb him.
This, right here, made it real. Julio watched this boy, this boy who loved Julio’s son just as much as Julio himself, this boy who gave his all to Charlie over and over, every time, without fail. This boy who was at Charlie’s side, paying attention when even his own parents were blind to the ways he was falling apart.
Julio watched as Nick trembled, cradling Charlie as he slept through the conversation, as Sarah stood and stroked a gentle hand along her son’s spine. And it really hit him. Charlie might have cancer.
Charlie might have cancer.
Charlie might have cancer.
Julio left the room, didn’t stop until he got to the hospital cafeteria, and wept.