Work Text:
Dean has a gag in his mouth and his arms are tied behind his back. He has a clicker in one hand so he can tell Cas when something is wrong. Dean loves Cas very much, they have known each other forever, have always been best friends and then more.
How lucky he is to be able to call Cas his boyfriend? And they are such a perfect match sexually. Dean has never been able to really trust anyone, so his desire for a Dom has never really been fulfilled. But now with Cas it's fantastic. His best friend, his partner and soon-to-be husband.
Dean looked up at Cas, who was pressing his thighs against his chest and fucking him with slow but powerful thrusts.
He loves Cas's cock and moans with pleasure, but with the gag you wouldn't be able to hear anything he wanted to say anyway. Dean notices Cas speeding up and moaning loudly, the squeaking bed echoing around the room of the club they are in.
Dean looked up at him, but Cas just kept fucking him, kept pressing his legs hard against his chest. His breathing became harder and harder and panic spread through him. This doesn't feel right, they've got to do something. Yellow . Dean clicks twice for yellow. Damn, panic was rising more in him, why didn't Cas hear the clicks? Dean's hand began to shake and he clicked the clicker again, but again nothing.
That was the thing about trust that never let him get what he wanted, but now it's happening to Cas, of all people, CAS. This can't be happening. Dean's breathing accelerates and he tries to wriggle out of the position, but Cas has him firmly in his grip. "Oh yeah, Dean!" he gasps, throwing his head back. "Just perfect." he moans and Dean feels like he can't breathe.
He tries to say something through the gag, but all that comes out is a mumble. His panic grows and he tries again with the clicker and clicks, but Cas just doesn't hear it. Suddenly he could hear nothing but muffled sounds, blood pounding in his ears and panic spreading continuously through him. As Cas presses Dean's legs against his chest, Dean's breathing slows and tears start to well up in his eyes.
Is this the end of him? Smothered to death by Cas? Dean tries again with the clicker, but Cas just doesn't hear it, so with the last of his strength he tries to push himself off with his hands and throws Cas off him.
Immediately, he takes a deep breath - as best he could with the gag in his mouth and rolls over onto his stomach, shaking all over. Cas falls backwards off the bed and looks over at Dean in confusion. Panicked, Dean presses the clicker repeatedly in his hand and starts to cry.
Thick tears roll down his cheek as Cas suddenly joins him, undoing the gag and the handcuffs. "Oh my God, Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asks in panic, and when Dean is free he immediately crawls away from Cas, pulling a sheet with him and squeezing himself into the corner of the room, wrapping the sheet around himself. He continues to cry in panic, burying his face between his knees.
Dean is shaking all over, never before has his trust been so violated.. How can he trust Cas at all now? He sobs, and Cas slowly walks towards him. Dean notices and lifts his head.
"Stay away from me!" he shouts at him, his voice cracking.
Cas looks at him sadly, what has he done wrong? Cas sits down on the floor a little further away. "What did I do?" he asks quietly, looking away, hoping that this will calm Dean down a bit.
Dean sniffles and wipes his eyes. "I used the clicker," he says with a shaky voice. "Over and over again, but you didn't respond. I used my safeword and you kept going!" he says, starting sobbing. "And then I panicked. I couldn't breathe while you kept pressing my legs against my chest," he says quietly through his sobs.
Dean looks at Cas briefly, tears running down his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Dean, I didn't hear the clicker. I swear I would have stopped. You know that."
Dean snorts and wipes his eyes. "Sure, I noticed," he says. "The first time I needed it and you didn't!"
Cas turned his head towards Dean. "I didn't hear it! Dean, I'm so sorry, how can I make it up to you?" he asked and Dean shrugged.
"As Dom, you should have....checked to see if you heard it when I was lying on my back with my hands behind my back," he whispered. "Or you should have fucked me doggy style or whatever, you should have behaved more like a Dom and not like a fucking teenager who had sex for the first time!”
Cas nods. "Dean, I would have, and I promise you it won't happen again," he says quietly.
Dean nibbles at his lip, as if there would be a next time that he would let himself get gagged and cuffed by Cas.
"Maybe you should leave now," Dean says.
"I can't leave you like this, Dean, please... " he says and Dean crawls to his clothes and gets dressed.
"I'll ask Benny if I can stay the night," he says and Cas stands up, wanting to put his hand gently on his shoulder.
"Don't you dare touch me," Dean hisses.
Cas looks Dean in the eyes, he can see anger, disappointment and most of all betrayal. He nods and looks down. "I hope you can forgive me, I know you need time for this... You have all the time you want," he says quietly. "I'm so fucking sorry, Dean."
Dean nods. "You said that already," he says, and Cas quickly gets dressed as well, following Dean out of the room. Dean immediately heads for the bar. "Benny, can I sleep at your place tonight?"
Benny lifts his head and smiles at Dean, but then immediately looks concerned. "Cher, what happened?" he asks immediately, and Dean's chin trembles slightly.
"Later," is all he says, and Benny nods, casting Cas a glance over Dean's shoulder and raising an eyebrow.
"Of course, Dean, you know where the key is. I'm off in half an hour," he says and Dean nods, glances briefly at Cas and leaves without saying anything.
Cas takes a step forward and looks at Benny. "Please take care of him, I really fucked up," he says.
Benny looks at him gently. "Even though I don't know what happened, you love each other.It will be okay. Everyone makes mistakes," he says, and Cas looks worried.
"I don't know Benny, I'm not so sure everything is going to be okay." he says quietly and says goodbye, calling an Uber and heading home.
***
Dean curled up in a blanket on Benny's couch, the scenes from earlier replaying in his mind. This was exactly why he hadn't let any Dom do this to him, and now... his own boyfriend.
Dean sighs and looks up at Benny. "Didn't Cas tell you everything already?"
"No, he just told me to look after you because he messed up."
Dean nods and looks down. "I let him gag me and tie my hands behind my back..." he begins. "I had a clicker in my hand, but then he pushed me back on the bed, where my hands were too, and I got.... I clicked and clicked, but he didn't hear it!" he says, his chin trembling again, a tear rolling down his cheek.
"He pressed my legs against my chest and I couldn't breathe...I really thought I was going to suffocate and I pushed myself up with the last of my strength and kicked him off the bed...” he tells him and takes a deep breath, “...and then I just kept clicking," he says, sniffling quietly.
Benny listens and nods. "I'm very sorry, Cher, I'm sure it was a bad situation for you," he says gently, wiping away his tears. "I bet he didn't do it on purpose, but can you still trust him?"
Dean looks up at him sadly. "I don't know," he says quietly, and Benny takes one of his hands and squeezes it gently. Dean lays his head back on the small sofa cushion. "I'm tired..." he says.
"OK, then sleep for now and we'll see tomorrow," he says, getting up and bringing him another thicker blanket, which he puts over Dean, and another t-shirt and sweatpants. "If you want to be more comfortable. Sleep tight."
Dean smiles. “Thank you, Benny. Good night.”
***
The next morning, they sat together at Benny's kitchen table and had breakfast. Even though Benny makes the best pancakes in the world, Dean is not hungry at all.
Benny eats his pancakes and looks over at Dean. "What are you going to do now?" he asks and Dean shrugs.
"I don't know... Home for a bit and then to the garage," he says and Benny frowns.
"But don't you have the day off?" he asks and Dean sighs.
"I need to clear my head.... I can't sit at home with Cas..."
Benny looks at him gently. "Maybe you should do that and talk to him," he says. "I'll drive you home in a minute," he says, and Dean smiles slightly.
"Thanks."
They drive to Dean's house in pleasant silence and Benny looks at him. "If you need anything, call me," he says and Dean looks at him and nods.
"Thanks, Benny, for everything," he says and gets out, walking to the front door and unlocking it.
"Dean?" Cas joins him in the hallway, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and looks at him. He looks really tired, with red eyes and deep bags under his eyes.
Dean looks at him and nods. "Who else?" he asks, closing his eyes briefly. "Sorry..." he says and Cas shakes his head.
"No, no, you don't have to apologize. The only one who does is me," he says. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong, for betraying your trust."
Dean knows he's sorry. "I know, Cas," he says. "I'm... going to take a shower and then go to Bobby's," he says, walking up the stairs to the bathroom, where he leans against the closed door on the inside and takes a breath.
Dean doesn't know what's wrong with him either. Why can't he just carry on as if nothing has happened? They can still carry on as if nothing has happened, just without the Dom and Sub thing. He gets undressed and turns on the shower, then stands under it.
After a while he gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around his waist and goes into the bedroom where Cas is waiting for him.
"Dean, can we talk? What does this mean for us?" he asks, and Dean grabs some fresh underwear and clothes from the wardrobe.
"No more Dom and Sub stuff for now, none of it."
"Because you can't trust me anymore," Cas says and Dean nods.
"Yeah." he just says, putting on his boxers.
Cas nods. "That's OK, anything you want," he says. "But I can feel it...you can't even look at me," he says and Dean looks at him, glaring.
"Oh, is that so surprising?" he asks bitterly, and Cas winces a little.
"Apparently not," Cas says quietly.
Dean finishes dressing and looks at him.
"We'll figure it out eventually... I just need some time," he says, slipping into his boots.
Cas nods. "Okay." he says, and Dean nods too.
"Okay," he says and goes down the stairs, out of the house and drives off with Baby.
But nothing was okay at all.