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When Gerard walks into the kitchen, he finds Frank leaning against the counter, sipping from his cup of green tea, and he has to laugh. He just has to. He snickers, abandoning the thought of his morning coffee to shuffle closer to him and press a kiss to Frank’s cheek. He gets a grunt in response, a clear sign that Frank is not yet fully awake, and he laughs again, tapping his fingernail against Frank’s cup.
“That got us in trouble the last time I’ve seen it.”
Frank rolls his eyes, taking another sip. He looks completely unbothered.
“Never pissed on you,” he points out, then yawns. “Missed opportunity, if you ask me.”
“Exactly how awake are you right now?” Gerard laughs. He hugs himself to Frank’s side, nuzzling his neck. “Like, give me a percentage.”
“Forty.”
“And how awake do you need to be to cum?”
“Jesus,” Frank groans, tilting his head back. He closes his eyes and rubs a hand over his cheek when Gerard starts nibbling gently at his neck. “Babe, it’s not even nine yet.”
“Nope,” Gerard shrugs and lets his hand drift from the center of Frank’s chest until it settles low on his stomach. “But do you care?”
“Slide it lower, and you’ll see,” Frank smiles. He rubs his eyes next and sighs when Gerard starts playing with the strings of his sweatpants. “Okay. Let’s say I’m at forty-five now.”
“Will fifty be enough?”
“For you to blow me? Sure.”
“I mean, I could,” Gerard reasons. He starts undoing the strings while he talks, but he keeps it slow, just to tease him. He knows how Frank gets in the mornings - he needs a little head start before he can actually get hard, and Gerard has mastered the art of getting him there. “But we could also do other things.”
“I’m gonna need to be at least at eighty to fuck you,” Frank grumbles, slumping harder against the counter. His tea sways dangerously close to the edge of the cup as he does it, and Gerard has to steady his hands with his own. “And at least one more cup of this.”
“How many did you already have?”
“Two,” Frank frowns. “Or two and a half? Does this count as a half?” he lifts the cup a little to look at the see-through glass. “Yeah, it does. So two and a half.”
“It’s a big cup.”
“Sure,” Frank shrugs. “But green tea contains a lot less caffeine than your precious coffee, so you know–”
“Not why I mentioned it, but go on.”
“Why, then?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gerard smiles sweetly. Frank squints at him, arching his back a little to get away from him and look him in the eyes. “Oh, baby, I could surprise you. Where’s the fun if I tell you everything?”
“The fun is in me not passing the fuck out over here,” Frank snorts. He leans into him when Gerard puts a hand on the side of his head, playing with his hair. “It’s so early. Just tell me.”
He yawns again, and it’s Gerard’s turn to snort.
“Am I boring you?”
“Baby, it’s–” Frank flicks his wrist to look at his watch. “Half-past eight. Have some mercy.”
“I will make you an offer,” Gerard says. He woke up in a good mood, he’s feeling generous, and as much as he enjoyed fucking Frank when he was asleep, he kind of needs him awake for what he has in mind. He sneaks his fingers under the hem of Frank’s t-shirt and starts softly stroking his stomach. Frank shivers. “I’ll tell you half of it. How’s that?”
“Sure,” Frank shrugs. “As long as I don’t have to move too much.”
“Nope, I think you’ll be good. Turn around.”
“Why?” Frank asks, even though he’s already doing it, putting his cup down on the counter and turning to face it. He goes easily when Gerard places a hand between his shoulder blades, pushing him lower.
“Because I’m going to fuck you.”
“That’s the surprise?” Frank laughs. He spreads his legs when Gerard nudges them with his foot, leaning over until his chest is fully on the counter. He looks awfully comfortable, and Gerard has to roll his eyes at him. Lazy asshole. He has to do everything himself. “I need to let you fuck me more often if you think it’s surprising.”
“I mean, yes, you should,” Gerard agrees. Those fucking strings are driving him mad, and eventually, he’s forced to just drag Frank’s sweatpants down without undoing them. “I know you love my cock in your ass, whether you admit it or not.”
“‘course I do,” Frank mumbles. “Love mine in your ass, too, though.”
“However,” Gerard says. “This time, it’s more about what happens after you have my cock in your ass.”
“Okay, you have my attention,” Frank hums. He turns his head on the counter and frowns when Gerard yanks open the drawer, pulling out the bottle of lube. “Why is there lube in our cutlery drawer?”
“Specifically for moments like this? Don’t ask stupid questions,” Gerard sighs. “Bend over more. Give me some room to work, fuck.”
Frank laughs but complies, and yeah, that’s the sight Gerard wanted to see first thing in the morning. He pouts, thinking, then moves Frank’s t-shirt a little further up his back until the view is perfect. The tattoos on Frank’s lower back right there for Gerard to lick, his perfect ass pushed back, practically begging to be fucked, his muscular thighs tense, his cock - well, his cock is soft now, but Gerard intends to change it. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy seeing it soft. It’s a nice cock. He likes it in all stages, from fully soft to fully hard. He’s not picky.
“Now what?” Frank asks when Gerard still hasn’t moved. “Cause let me tell you, I’m feeling kinda cold here.”
“Oh, for the love of– okay,” Gerard groans. He gets the lube open in record time and has a finger up Frank’s ass before either of them can think twice about it. Frank tenses, groaning at the feeling, and Gerard laughs. “There. Happy?”
“Fuck you.”
“Quite the opposite today, love. You’ll get used to it.”
“No, seriously– wait,” Frank grunts. He rolls his hips a little when Gerard pushes his finger deeper, and his hands twitch on the counter. “Seriously. Gee.”
“What?”
“I– two and a half cups. You may need to give me a minute before we can continue this.”
“Oh, no. Absolutely not,” Gerard shakes his head. He places a palm on Frank’s lower back when he tries to straighten up and presses him back down. “Stay.”
“Gerard,” Frank’s voice turns stern. “I will piss all over our kitchen floor.”
“Don’t worry, you won’t,” he coos, pressing his finger in deeper and down. Frank’s hips buck into the counter, and he hisses when Gerard rubs his prostate. “You’ll piss all over me, though.”
There goes his surprise. Damn it. He decides that he won’t let this little drawback stop him, though, and pulls his finger out only to drive right back in with two. Frank’s tight around his digits, but he’s relaxing quickly, still a little too groggy to tense up when Gerard stretches him. Gerard can see his cock taking an interest in the entire ordeal, too, and he smirks. He’s still got it.
“Have I told you before,” Frank gasps, then whines when Gerard twists his wrist. “That you’re crazy?”
“A few times.”
“Gerard, I honestly– fuck, I honestly can’t do this,” Frank’s forehead hits the counter, hands curling over the edge of it when he pushes his hips back. That’s a clear invitation again, so Gerard speeds up, fingering him a little harder. “Fuck, babe, I’m fucking– serious, shit–”
“Does it hurt?” Gerard whispers. He leans a little closer to Frank’s back, sneaking his other hand around him to press his palm low on his stomach. Frank’s gasp is pained like it actually does hurt, so Gerard does it again. “Right here?”
“I will fucking murder you,” Frank whines. It sounds weak, though, so Gerard sneaks a third finger into him, making Frank’s entire back arch. “Fuck, painfully. I will– take my sweet fucking time– fuck, fuck, deeper–”
“More?”
“God, I can’t,” Frank trembles. When Gerard slides his hand lower, he finds his cock half-hard, however, so he presses a smile between Frank’s shoulder blades and actually goes for it. He has his fingers deep inside him, twisting and brushing his prostate each chance he gets until he has Frank shaking all over, moaning every time he shoves in. “Gee, fuck–”
“You sound like you’re going to cry,” Gerard tells him. His own cock is more than ready, so he leaves a kiss on Frank’s spine and slowly eases his fingers out. “Are you going to cry?”
“I fucking might. Shit, fuck, that hurts.”
“It’s just pressure,” Gerard assures him. “It’ll feel so good when you let go, though. Trust me, baby. It’ll be fucking amazing.”
“I can’t believe– that you want me to fucking piss myself,” Frank laughs. It’s strained, choked off, and turns into a whimper when Gerard yanks his own pants down and presses his cock into Frank’s hole. “Jesus, what is wrong with you?”
“Me? It was you who called innocent green tea your piss.”
“It was a joke– ugh.”
Jesus, he really is tight. Gerard tries to go slow, he really does, but Frank is clenching around the head of his cock like his life depends on it, trying to keep him out, and he has to grip the base of it to actually pop it inside. It pulls a rough moan from Frank’s throat, a little like he’s been punched, and Gerard soothes the burn by stroking his hip as gently as he can. It’s good, though, fuck it’s good, and he’s having a really hard time holding himself back from just driving his entire dick inside in one go.
“It’s etched in my brain, though. Relax, Frankie,” he whispers. “Just let me in. Relax, baby.”
“It’s– so much,” Frank gasps. He moves his legs even further apart and inhales sharply when Gerard pushes an inch deeper. “Jesus fuck, I feel–”
“How do you feel?”
“So full,” Frank moans. “Everywhere. God, I’m not gonna last.”
“Look at you, though. You’re already hard,” Gerard says proudly. He moves his hips forward again, and Frank opens up to him, his cock sliding in all the way. It’s absolutely incredible, and he can’t stop the moan when his hipbones finally press to Frank’s cheeks. “God, Frankie, you are so fucking tight.”
“I know,” Frank grits out.
“I’m gonna make you cum so hard,” Gerard promises, hugging himself to Frank’s back and sneaking a hand around, gripping his cock. It is hard, and he smiles when he brushes a thumb over the head and feels the wetness. “Is it precum or piss?”
“Fuck if I know, God, just get on with it,” one of Frank’s hands curls into a fist, and he slams it against the counter. “Fucking tease.”
“I think it’s piss,” Gerard moans. He doesn’t know why the idea is turning him on so much, but it is. It must be how desperate Frank is, how little control he has over everything that’s about to happen. Just the thought of Frank actually losing it halfway through is enough to make Gerard’s hips jump, and Frank whines, the wetness on Gerard’s hand spreading. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby, it is. You’re going to piss yourself.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Frank groans. “Just fuck me, fucking– fuck me, Jesus, do it, Gerard, do it–”
“Shh, here,” Gerard rolls his hips and slides back into him with a low hiss. “There, I’ve got you. Feels good, right?”
Frank sobs instead of replying and pushes his hips back again. God, he’s starving for it, and who is Gerard to deny him? No one. He moves his hand from Frank’s cock to grip both of his hips and starts thrusting slowly, pulling broken groans from Frank’s throat every time he brushes his prostate. Frank is really hard now, and Gerard is kind of dying to cum, too. It’s so tight, and all wet from the lube, and so hot, and Frank is squirming beneath him like he can’t stand it, and Gerard is going to fucking lose it.
“You tell me,” he warns him, angling Frank’s hips up an inch so he can really slam inside, and Frank lets out a ragged groan. “You tell me when you’re about to cum.”
“I don’t know if I can,” Frank shakes his head. He’s gone completely boneless, body rocking along with Gerard’s thrusts. “Fuck, babe, I’m gonna, fuck, fuck, fuck–”
“Gotta cum first,” Gerard groans. “And then you can let go, and it’ll be incredible, you’re gonna love it, Frankie, gonna fuck it out of you–”
“Motherfucker,” Frank sobs. “I’m– I–”
It hurts. It hurts to pull out of Frank when he, himself, is so close, but he’s on a mission here. Frank cries out when Gerard draws back, his legs fully trembling now, then cries out again when Gerard drags him up and turns him around. His lower back connects with the counter, and shit, that’ll hurt for a day or two, but Gerard can’t worry about it now. He’s falling to his knees faster than he thought was possible, and his hand is around Frank’s cock immediately.
“Yeah, yes, fuck, look at yourself,” he moans, taking in the state Frank’s in. He looks fucking wrecked, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, a streak of it running down his neck, his chest heaving. He’s shaking all over, and his mouth is open to let out those small, quiet moans when Gerard starts jerking him off in earnest. “Fuck, Frankie, look at yourself– Jesus, you’re gonna lose it so hard, you–”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” Frank groans. “Fucking– God, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna–”
“Yes, give it to me,” Gerard urges. He doubles his efforts, twists his wrist, and a few droplets of something - precum, piss, fuck, he doesn’t know - slide from Frank’s slit. “Oh, man. Oh, man. You’re going to– yeah.”
It takes him sliding his other hand to Frank’s balls and pulling to get him there. Frank’s body bends forward when he sobs, a violent kind of flex, and he cums all over Gerard’s fingers, streaks of it hitting him in the face. It’s fucking amazing, but it’s not enough, and Gerard’s hold on his dick only tightens.
“Gee, fuck–”
“Go, just go,” he moans, wrapping a hand over his own cock. He knows, he just knows that the second Frank actually lets go, he will cum all over himself. “Go on, I want you to, please, wanna feel it, Frankie–”
“Fuck,” Frank whines, and God, there are actual tears in his eyes when he opens them wide and catches Gerard’s gaze. He looks shocked and freezes for a second, his mouth falling open. “Oh, shit.”
And then he’s pissing. He’s pissing, moaning through it like it’s the best thing in the world, his shoulders shaking when he grabs the counter again for support, and that’s still not the best thing about it. The best thing is that he’s pissing all over Gerard, all over his face and his neck, and Gerard groans and jerks himself through it, feeling the warmth spreading over his t-shirt and down to his chest, and Jesus, it should be gross, it shouldn’t be like this, but he’s fucking living for this. He leans in and opens his mouth, and fuck, yes, yes, he can taste it now, and his hips are rocking, cock wet from Frank’s cum and his piss, and–
“Fuck me,” he sobs - and cums all over his fist and the floor. “Oh my fucking God, Jesus.”
He feels Frank slumping down against the counter a few seconds later. He’s honestly surprised that he kept himself up, all things considered, but he’s grateful for that, too. He can rock forward and press his forehead to Frank’s thigh, breathing hard when he tries to calm himself down.
“Fuck,” he whispers, letting one more chill run through his body. It’s so strong it makes his teeth clink together. “Oh, God.”
“You– I have no words,” Frank gasps above him. He’s panting, and if Gerard had any strength left to look up, he knows he would find Frank with his head tilted back, trying to pull enough air into his lungs and not really succeeding. “In the fucking kitchen. In your mouth. Christ.”
Gerard licks his lips, laughter bubbling out of him when he feels the drops falling from the ends of his hair onto his tongue. He’s feeling giddy and a little high, and he has to hold onto Frank’s leg to stop himself from falling back. That would be a bad idea, he thinks. There’s piss all over the floor. It only makes him laugh harder.
“Christ, you– you pissed on me,” he giggles, digging his fingers deeper into the skin of Frank’s thigh. “Fucker, you pissed on me!”
“You sound awfully happy about it,” Frank groans. “Normally, people would be pissed.”
“Pissed,” Gerard giggles again. “Oh, sweetheart, yeah. I’m pissed. Pissed all over, actually.”
“I can’t stand you,” Frank says. His energy levels must have expanded above the forty percent he was at before because he grunts and leans over to help Gerard back to his feet. He’s wrinkling his nose the entire time, and Gerard finds it hilarious how he tries to touch him as little as he can. “Jesus. I’m not cleaning this up.”
“It’s yours,” Gerard shrugs. “Besides, you’ve had dogs before, so I’m sure you have experience with cleaning piss off the floor. And,” he points his finger at Frank with a grin. “I need a shower.”
“You are actually going to leave me with this,” Frank’s eyes grow wide. “Babe!”
Gerard would. He wants to, even, because he finds it entirely too amusing to see how grossed out Frank is by it after he just pissed all over his face like he didn’t give a flying fuck about it, but he’s a good boyfriend. He’s a great fucking boyfriend. He leans in and wriggles his eyebrows.
“I’ll help you if you give me a kiss.”
“Go take your fucking shower,” Frank rolls his eyes, pushing him away. “And then I’ll give you a kiss.”
“You’re no fun,” Gerard rolls his eyes, then grins when Frank sighs and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. “See? Not so bad.”
“Go,” Frank whines, looking around like he just walked in on the worst apocalypse ever. Gerard will keep it quick, at least, and he hopes he can catch Frank in the middle of it to actually help. He just needs to get out of his t-shirt. And sweatpants. And wash piss from his hair. He’s in the middle of turning around to somehow thread carefully all the way to the bathroom when Frank speaks again. “God, you’re lucky I love you,” he says, and then. “You want coffee when you’re done?”
Just like that. Like he didn’t just cum his brains out and pissed all over the floor, and like he isn’t standing, barefoot, in the middle of it, and like he hasn’t kissed Gerard’s piss-wet cheek. Gerard grins, brushing his hair back, and nods.
“Love you too,” he replies. “And yeah. Please. Thanks, Frankie.”