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Leaving Agra – CHARLIE

Settling into the backseat for the four-plus hours ride back to Delhi, Charlie’s insides fizzled and whirred.  Outwardly, he appeared calm, but he churned like the ocean with an approaching storm inside.  Nick Nelson, like waves crashing against Charlie’s shore, eroded his peace of mind.

Everything that had happened during the trip so far had Charlie confused and reeling.  Nick had remembered him from Truham… in detail .  Nick had volunteered to fake date him to save him from an uncomfortable situation with Ravi.  Nick had snuggled him – in bed, when no one else was around – and had been snuggly and affectionate at other times too when they were alone.  But... they’d been alone a lot during the trip so far, and Nick had never tried anything beyond quasi-platonic affection.  Yes, Charlie was fairly certain Nick was aroused when he was pressed against Charlie’s body last night, but he could have been thinking about someone else.  A girl.  And then this morning at the Taj Mahal, that kiss… on Charlie’s forehead – why not on his lips?   Well… he wasn’t going to kiss you on the lips, Charlie, because he’s straight!  That’s the explanation!  

While Charlie ruminated, Nick pulled Charlie’s hand into his, looping their arms together.  He reached up with the other hand to gently lean Charlie’s head onto his shoulder.  Charlie let it happen.  Nick then rested his head on top of Charlie’s.  Charlie could feel Nick press his face into his dark curls, breathing in and out deeply before softly sighing.  What do I do now?  Tell him to stop?  Tell him I can’t do this anymore?  The pain is already starting.   Charlie didn’t speak though, he just lost himself in his own thoughts.  Even the sight of a nude sadhu painted with white sandalwood ash walking amongst a crowd on the side of the road couldn’t shake Charlie from his thoughts.  Nothing going on outside could compare to the turmoil within – the exquisite pain of his heart being shredded to pieces by Nick’s kindness. 

Back in Delhi – NICK

Along the busy highway between Agra and Delhi, Nick numbed to the cacophony of honking cars and lorries – some lumbering along, others zippily overtaking them, all announcing their actions with horns instead of turn signals.  Nick stared down at his hand linked with Charlie’s.  He never wanted to let go, but he felt time slipping away, drawing them back to reality – a reality where they were not actually boyfriends.

Nick closed his eyes and focused on the feel of Charlie's soft curls against his cheek.  They’d shifted since they first began the journey from Agra, even getting out of the car to eat, but they’d fallen back into the same position they’d started in with their bodies entwined in the backseat – Charlie’s head resting on Nick’s shoulder and Nick’s head resting on top of Charlie’s.  After so many days together, their bodies seemed to be in sync with one another’s, subconsciously linked.  Their breaths were matched, they moved together and fit like two pieces of the same puzzle.  Nick was sure their heartbeats could no longer be detected separately – they were one.  He just wished, hoped, Charlie could feel it too.  

He’d done everything he could to let Charlie know that he wanted him without actually saying it.  There were moments where he felt like Charlie was into him too, but then he’d pull back, making Nick question.  

Nick had decided he was going to talk to Charlie on the plane ride home, once the trip was near its end.  He wanted Charlie to have the ability to get away from him, to go home, to leave Nick’s side, if he was being too much or if Charlie didn’t feel the same way.  If he came clean now about his feelings and Charlie just wanted to be friends, it could make everything awkward and even cause the friendship they’d been building to crumble like a sandcastle lapped by a cresting wave.  No, he had to wait.  He couldn’t say anything now even though he wanted to shout it at the top of his lungs – I like Charlie Spring in a romantic way, not just a friend way.   He couldn’t do it though.  Not now, when it might make Charlie feel trapped.  Nick also didn’t want to give up the tender intimacy that had grown between them.  He wanted – no, he needed – to still be able to touch Charlie, to hold Charlie, at night when they were in bed together.  Nick couldn’t give that up.  He needed to be careful.  It was like he was holding something precious, something delicate and fragile, and he couldn’t let it slip from his fingers, slip and break. 

The moment they’d clearly reached the edges of Delhi, the sky, looming for days with air as thick as a salty lassi and weighted with monsoon promises, stopped teasing and let the treasure it withheld for months rain down, literally, in sheets of precipitation.  Almost instantly, the streets filled with water as a heavy downpour flooded them.  Schools were just letting out at this time of day and packs of school girls in matching plaid kurtas with long wet braids plastered to their backs darted over sidewalks, weaving in and out of stopped traffic to cross the waterlogged streets. 

The torrential rain slowed their car’s progress towards Sai’s masi’s, making it take significantly longer to get back.  The rain lessened on the journey and the sky seemed to have emptied itself by the time they arrived.  Ravi escorted them in and the family helped get their luggage back to their room in the guest house, while they stayed in the main house to be questioned by Sai’s uncle and cousins about their trip.  Nick had to consciously stop himself several times, from putting his arm around Charlie or taking his hand.  He wasn’t able to stop himself from looking at Charlie when he spoke, admiring the way he interacted with the family and described the places they’d visited and all that they’d learned.  He saw Charlie looking over at him, too.  Did he dare to hope?  Could Charlie ever like him in the same way?  What would happen now that they had to act ‘normal’ around these people?  How would he be able to act like he was not one hundred percent consumed by thoughts of making Charlie his real boyfriend?      

After dinner and before they were allowed to retreat to their room, Rehka gave them each a bag and told them to put their laundry in it, saying she would have it laundered for them.  Like Sai had indicated to Charlie, the searing heat of the Indian summer had required more changes of clothes than a normal trip and they appreciated the chance to restock their options. 

“Sai messaged.”  Charlie held his phone up for Nick to see.  “He asked about the trip and said we will go to his uncles’ house tomorrow for some surprise wedding festivities.” 

“I wonder what’s happening?”  Nick thought aloud.  “The wedding’s not for a few more days.”

“Have you ever been to an Indian wedding before?”  Nick looked at Charlie with a confused expression, and Charlie clarified.  “In the UK, I mean.”

“No, have you?”

“No.”  Charlie smiled, but then looked away. 

The ease of the last few days seemed to evaporate like the water on the pavement after the rain.  The atmosphere between them was stultifying – steamy, but incapable of release.  

The driver arrived with the car shortly after breakfast.  Ravi was not with him since they were just getting a ride over to Sai’s uncles’ home.  When they arrived, Sai hugged each of them and there seemed to be some reprieve from the intensity surrounding them.  Some.   Sai looked from one friend to the other with an air of curiosity as they chatted in the sitting room, basically alone, with just a cousin or two drifting in and out.  When they heard Ravi’s voice from the other room, Nick moved a little closer to Charlie when Sai turned to ask Vivek, who was passing through the room, a question.  He raised an eyebrow when he turned back around to see his friends staring into each other’s eyes.  

“Okay.”  Sai interrupted the moment.  “Here’s what’s happening later.  We’ll have a big family lunch.  Even more family will be here – the ones from out of town.  You met my bua from Jaipur, right?”  When Nick and Charlie nodded, Sai continued.  “The bride and the other women in the family, and some of the men, will get mehndi afterwards.  We have a few artists coming over to do it.”

Charlie spoke up.  “What is it?  I mean, I know what you’re talking about.  What it looks like when people have it.  But what is it?”  

Sai looked perplexed.  “I think it’s something natural – it looks like mud, kind of – and when you leave it on your skin it colours it… but not permanently.  It wears off over time, but it can last for weeks.”

Nick asked, “And it’s okay to get it even if we’re men?”

Sai answered, “Yeah, I mean, it’s just for fun if you do it.  And a lot of guys do.  The groom will definitely have it – not as elaborate as the women’s designs though.” 

“I’m in!”  Charlie said, grinning.  “It looks like a tattoo and I think it will make my mum freak out if I come home with it.  Can I get it on my forearm?  I want her to see it.” 

Sai laughed.  “Sure.”

“I’ll get it too then… if you are.”  Nick reached for Charlie’s hand, but then realised what he was doing and pulled back.  

Sai narrowed his eyes at the two of them and started to say something, but he was called away to another room by an auntie. 

“I have an idea.”  Nick turned to Charlie.  “You still want to keep Ravi thinking we’re boyfriends, don’t you?”  Nick looked hopeful.  

“Yeah,” Charlie said a little tentatively.  “I mean, I guess he’s still going to be around for the whole time we’re here.  He’s in the house right now.” 

“What do you think about getting each other’s initials put into our mehndi?” Nick asked, his bold suggestion almost catching in his throat. 

Charlie giggled behind his hand, making Nick’s heart race. “You mean, like, I get a big ‘NN’ on my arm?”  

Nick felt heat coiling within him at the pretty way Charlie was looking at him.  He was doing it again .  Making Nick hope.  It was one of those moments.  The ones that had made Nick think that maybe, just maybe, Charlie might like him back.  Or, at least, might grow to like him in the way Nick liked Charlie.  

Nick said breathlessly, “Yeah.”  He then followed up with, “It doesn’t have to be that big and it can be part of the design.”  Nick took Charlie’s arm in his hands, turning it over to the underside of his forearm.  He let the tip of his index finger fall onto the soft skin between Charlie’s wrist and elbow, tracing lines up and down, while Charlie's arm rested in the palm of Nick’s other hand. 

“Right here.”  Nick said, touching the midway point of Charlie’s forearm.  He then traced his initials with his fingertip – N-L-N – as he said them aloud.  Nick kept his finger drawing circles over Charlie’s pulse point on his wrist as he looked up into Charlie’s eyes. 

Charlie's voice was barely audible when he answered.  “Okay.”  He smiled tenderly at Nick, making him melt.  The intensity of Charlie’s blue eyes coupled with his soft voice sent shivers over Nick’s body.  “And you’re going to get mine too?”

“Obviously!”  Nick tilted his head, smiling.  

“What’s the ‘L’ stand for?”  

“Luke.”

“Nicholas Luke Nelson,” Charlie pronounced, and Nick thrilled at the sound of his full name flowing from Charlie’s mouth. 

“What’s yours?” Nick asked, his hands had slid down to hold Charlie’s upturned hand in both of his larger ones. 

“Charles Francis Spring.”

“C-F-S.”  Nick said, his voice caressing each letter as it formed on his tongue.

Nick was about to say something else about Charlie’s name when Sai walked back into the room.  They shot apart, hoping it was quick enough that Sai didn’t actually see them touching.

If he did see them, Sai didn’t say anything at that moment.  He announced to them that their suits for the wedding had been delivered the day before and they’d put them in separate bedrooms upstairs for them to try on.  Sai led them up the stairs to the second floor and showed Nick into one bedroom to change before escorting Charlie to another.

Before they walked away from the room Nick was in, Sai said loudly through the door, “Hang it back up if it fits and leave it.  My aunt and uncle will take them with theirs and Gita’s wedding clothes in their car, so you don’t have to pack it.”  Sai heard a muffled “okay’ from Nick and then showed Charlie to another room down the hall.  

Nick, Charlie, and Sai spent time after lunch playing video games with some of Sai’s cousins.  Charlie dominated, with Sai a close second, and Nick groaned about another thing to add to the list of Charlie’s accomplishments.  Charlie protested that Nick was good at three dimensional sports, so it was only fair that Charlie got two dimensional ones.  

“No way,” Nick exclaimed.  “You are good at real sports too.  Like, you run so fast.  I’ve seen you… remember?”  A blush spread over Charlie’s cheeks, and Sai looked at Nick with a raised eyebrow.  

Just then, one of the cousins in the room started talking to their brother and Sai about a rematch, and Nick took the opportunity to lean closer to Charlie, whispering in his ear. 

“I can see that you still run too.”  With the lightest of touches, Nick laid his palm against Charlie’s abs and said so the others couldn’t hear, “You’re fit as fuck.”  

Nick’s warm breath ghosted against Charlie’s neck and his blush deepened.  Charlie smiled shyly and shook his head.  Sai’s eyes darted towards them, continuing his conversation with his cousins. 

In the late afternoon, the team of mehndi artists arrived.  Sai, Nick, Charlie and the cousins were forced to turn off the video games, since the room with the TV was adjacent to the sitting room where the mehndi party was taking place.  Most of Sai’s aunts and female cousins had arrived and were milling about in and out of the rooms.  Food was set up buffet style in the dining room, so people could come and go and eat as they chose.  Many of the uncles and male cousins were present too, but everything focused on Sai’s cousin, Gita, the bride.  There were four artists working on four people at a time, but the chief artist started Gita’s first since hers would take the longest.  He sat facing her with what looked like a pastry piping bag filled with thick mud.  The designs, once completed, would cover her hands and arms up to her elbows as well as her feet and legs up to her knees.  The other women got designs only on their hands and arms.  Sai’s mum fed her niece while the artists worked, since Gita couldn’t use her hands, and other cousins and aunts fed the other three that were being worked on first. 

An idea struck Nick while they were watching and waiting their turn.  He left the room to find Ravi for help.  When almost all the women that wanted the mehndi had finished, Sai led Nick and Charlie in and sat them down with two of the artists, and then left the room to request chai for the three of them.  Before they got started, Ravi came over and spoke to Charlie’s artist in Hindi and then motioned to Nick to show the artist something on his phone.  Nick produced his phone from his pocket and opened it to show the artist the screen.  Charlie looked at him quizzically, but he just shrugged and smiled shyly.  Before Sai returned, Nick asked Ravi to explain to the artists that he and Charlie wanted each other’s initials worked into the design and Ravi wrote their initials down on paper for their individual artists.

Sai returned a short time later carrying a tray with several cups of chai.  He sat one near Charlie and one near Nick and gave the others, save one for himself, to his aunties still in the room.  Once another artist was free, Sai sat down with them to get a Ganesha on his palm.  He eyed the progress on his friends’ arms, looking up at each of them in surprise.  Charlie didn’t meet his eyes, but Nick, with a slightly bowed head, looked up at him and smiled guiltily. 

Sai stood up when the artist finished and waited for Nick and Charlie.  Their mehndi designs were more elaborate than Sai’s, but he didn’t have to wait too long for theirs to be finished.  He jerked his head towards the door leading to the garden, staring at them with raised eyebrows.  When Sai moved towards the door, they both stood to follow.  Nick instinctively placed his hand on Charlie’s lower back, as they stepped towards the garden.  Charlie looked up at him with a worried expression before moving.  Nick calmly blinked and gave Charlie a lopsided smile as if to say ‘it will be okay.’

When they reached Sai, who was leaning against one of the pergola posts, he straightened up immediately and turned to face them.  “What is going on with you two?” Sai demanded.

Charlie looked over at Nick with wide eyes, and Nick spoke first. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t give me that, Nelson!  A few days ago, the two of you had never even spoken to each other, and now you have each other’s initials on your arms.”  Sai pointed to his own arm to indicate the location of their mehndi.

Nick started to speak, but Charlie interrupted.  “It’s not real, Sai.  It’s fake.”  Sai looked confused and Charlie continued, lowering his voice to a whisper.  “Ravi was… I don’t know… showing interest in me, and…”

Nick felt a pang in his heart with Charlie’s words – ‘not real,’ ‘fake’ – Nick’s feelings were not fake, but he knew he couldn’t force Charlie to feel the same.  He told himself to shake it off.  He had to focus to get through this conversation with Sai. 

It was Nick’s turn to interrupt.  “I told Ravi that we’re boyfriends… so Charlie didn’t have an awkward situation to deal with.”

“Oh. I see.”  Sai eyed him suspiciously.  “A regular knight in shining armour, huh?” 

“Fuck off!”  Nick rolled his eyes. 

Sai looked at Charlie.  “Do I need to say something to my uncle about Ravi?  Was he bothering you that much?”

Charlie rushed to say, “NO! Oh my god, no!  Please don’t.  It wasn’t that bad.  I just didn’t want to offend him.  If we were home, I wouldn’t have a problem rejecting someone, but here… I just don’t know the etiquette.”  Charlie shrugged.  “Please don’t say anything, Sai.  He’s been nothing but nice to us.”

Nick backed him up.  “Umm… we don’t want to get the guy in trouble or anything. I mean… I can see that he still fancies Charlie, but I can’t blame him for that.”  Nick’s mouth curved into a lopsided smile, but then he realised he’d said that aloud and blushed.  He looked over to see worry on Charlie’s face.  “As soon as I told him we’re together, he backed off.” 

“But you’re not together.  What happens when he finds out?”  Sai crossed his arms.

“He doesn’t need to find out,” Nick argued.  He turned to Charlie.  “Are you okay if we keep acting like we’re boyfriends for the rest of the trip?” 

Charlie looked at his uni friend, trying to find the answer in Sai’s face.  He finally said, “I am.”  But added hastily afterwards, “If that’s okay with you, Sai?”

Sai inclined his head tractably.  “Yeah.  I guess.  If the two of you are okay with it, why would I care?”  He shrugged one shoulder.

“We don’t have to do anything obvious in front of your family,” Charlie added.

“My family won’t care.  I just… are you two sure you know what you’re doing?”  He looked at them with concern. 

When they both nodded, Nick smiling and Charlie looking thoughtful, Sai added, “Okay, well, don’t smudge your mehndi.  You need to leave it on for at least two hours and then you can scrape it off.  We’ll rub some mustard oil on it afterwards to enhance the colour.” 

Sangeet Practice – CHARLIE 

Charlie woke up in Nick’s arms.  He was facing away from Nick, but Nick had his front pressed against Charlie’s back and Charlie had his head resting on Nick’s bicep.  Nick’s cheek was pressed against Charlie’s curls.  Nick’s other arm was draped over Charlie's side and Charlie had his hand entwined with the one that was next to his chest.  

Charlie slowly opened his eyes to view his outstretched arm side-by-side with the larger one under his head.  The mehndi on the inside of both their forearms came into focus after a few seconds.  Charlie stared at the NLN on his arm and the CFS on Nick’s.  Mixed emotions churned within him.  It was both exhilarating and heartbreaking at the same time.  He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he blinked them away, telling himself, ‘stiff upper lip,’ Charlie.   

He continued gazing at the pale underside of Nick’s forearm.  The intricate design swirled over the delicate skin and framed Charlie’s initials.  He studied the design for several minutes before he realised that Nick’s was slightly different from his own.  It lacked the script.  Charlie had no idea what the script on his arm meant – the artist hadn’t said anything about it.  He wondered if it had something to do with Nick showing them something on his phone before they started.  Charlie didn’t have time to contemplate it though, because only seconds after he made the discovery their phone alarms buzzed simultaneously, and the thought was lost.   

When their phone alarms sounded, they got up and got ready for another day at Sai’s uncles’ home.  Sai told them that he’d go with them and Ravi shopping for a couple hours in the afternoon.  They needed to get some more gifts for their friends and family, especially Charlie.  When they arrived at Sai’s uncles’, they found Sai and some of the cousins in the garden with Bollywood tunes playing from a portable speaker.  Sai half-danced along as he watched three of his cousins going through a dance routine. 

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked as he and Nick walked up. 

“Practice for tonight,” Sai stopped and turned to greet them.  “We can probably teach you something simple if you want to join in,” Sai offered. 

Nick shook his head vigorously.  “Definitely not!” 

Sai looked Nick up and down and said, “Yeah.  Probably for the best.”  He laughed, nudging Nick’s shoulder with his own to let him know he was joking.  Charlie laughed but Sai continued, “No mate.  Just try.  You’ll try if Charlie does, right?”

Sai turned his attention to Charlie, prodding, “Come on, Charlie.  You’re a drummer, you can follow the rhythm.  Easy peasy!  You’ll at least try, won’t you?  So Nick will?  I’ve seen you dancing at clubs before… I know you’ve got it in you.” 

It was Nick’s turn to laugh as Charlie protested.  Sai continued begging them both to at least try a few moves and they relented.  

Sai instructed, “Okay.  Put your hands up, palms facing out, like you’re pressing your hands against the wind – one side and then the other.”  They tried it.  Charlie did an okay job staying with the music, and Nick did his best.  “Now, imagine you are walking along, tossing seeds out to the birds. Hands flat, palms up to the sky, fingers apart, flick your wrists.”  Again, Charlie made a decent show of it, and Nick did okay.  “Once you get some of the hand movements down, we can work on actually moving your feet and then moving your bodies around.” 

With that, Nick crossed his arms.  “Sai.  No.” 

Sai looked from Nick to Charlie and, laughing, Charlie agreed with Nick.  “We’ll just watch.”  

Excited that Charlie defended him against a menacing Sai, Nick picked Charlie up in a hug and set him back down, but kept hold of his waist as he looked into his eyes and said, “Thank you, Char, thank you!” 

Sai rolled his eyes, smiling, and walked away from them to go confer with his cousins on what to practise next.  

“Char?” Charlie asked, when Nick finally released him. 

“Oh… er, wow, th-that just slipped out.” A blush spread over Nick’s face. 

Charlie moved closer, looking up at Nick through his dark lashes.  “I like it.” 

Nick beamed.  “Come on, Char, let’s find a shady spot.”

Nick took Charlie’s hand and led him to the only chair available in the shade, the rest being occupied by various cousins not currently practising.  He sat down first and then pulled Charlie onto his lap, surprising him.  Charlie looked at him with wide eyes.  Winking, Nick said, “We are boyfriends.  And Sai said his family won’t care.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Charlie asked, looking around at the family members assembled in the garden.  “Pretending in front of Ravi is one thing, but Sai’s whole family?” 

Nick looked into Charlie’s eyes and breathed out a “yeah,” as he pulled Charlie back to lean against his chest.  Nick had both arms wrapped around Charlie’s waist, and Charlie wrapped an arm around Nick’s neck to make himself more comfortable.  Their calves brushed together and Charlie’s feet just touched the ground between Nick’s.  They both had on their flip-flops because now that the rains had started, they could happen at any time.  Neither of them wanted to walk around in squelching Cons or Vans. 

“You’re really going for it, Nick.” Charlie uttered, still surprised at Nick’s willingness to have Sai’s family think they were actually a couple. 

“Yeah.  Why not?” Nick said, smiling at Charlie.  Then his eyebrows pinched together.  “As long as you don’t mind?”

“No, it’s fine.  I’m fine.”  Charlie smiled back, adding, “You really are the sweetest man in the world, aren’t you?”  He looked into Nick’s eyes and, tilting his head, ran the back of his fingers on one hand slowly down Nick’s cheek, making Nick’s eyes widen and then flutter.  

Feeling his heart beating nearly out of his chest at his boldness, Charlie had to look away and, as he did, he saw Sai staring at them.  Oh, fuck!  Why did I do that?   He withdrew his hand and thought he heard a soft whine from Nick when he broke contact.  There were so many reasons why he should call a halt to all this, but he couldn’t make himself do it.   

Ladies’ Sangeet – NICK

The reception hall hid itself deceptively in the quiet Delhi neighbourhood.  It looked like another residential home on the outside with a walled gate belying what lay beyond that perimeter.  Inside the walls, the building sat in the middle of a large garden lined with overhead fairy lights.  A large covered patio encircled the structure on all four sides.  Colourful clay pots holding candles sat on tiny protruding shelves, which dotted the front and sides of the building on the ground floor.  As they stepped inside, they entered a wide vestibule, beyond which was a large space with a dais at one end and chairs set up facing it.  Garlands of marigolds and large blue satin ribbons hung above the dais.  A bench with matching decorations sat just in front of the dais, so the bride and groom could observe the dances.  They would also dance, but later on.

Sai led the way.  Nick and Charlie had gone back to Sai’s masi’s to shower and change for the evening after their shopping trip, but had joined Sai again at his uncles’ before following the family to this place.  Sai told them to find a seat wherever they liked, but to choose somewhere they could see the dancing.  Sai had to go greet some out-of-town family, but he promised to come get them once the food was set up.  Sai explained that chaat stations would be set up under a tent in the garden, and the dining would be informal – they could eat whenever and as much as they wanted.    

Nick took Charlie’s hand and asked if he wanted to look around before they sat down.  They walked back outside to locate the tent and to check out the garden.  Although they were both wearing cool, casual clothing – charcoal skinny chinos with a fitted icy blue short sleeve henley for Charlie and light tan chinos and a white short sleeve linen shirt for Nick – the stifling air had their clothes sticking to them in a matter of minutes, so they decided to head back inside into the AC.  They found out-of-the-way seats where they still had a good view of the stage.  

Gita’s parents welcomed everyone and then the music and dancing began.  Different sets of family and friends – mainly the younger people – performed choreographed dances to mainly Bollywood songs.  It wasn’t limited to the younger family members though.  The aunties and uncles joined in too, although their dancing was unplanned and freeform.  As people danced, various relatives approached the dancers, circling their heads with rupee notes for good luck and to ward off evil, Sai explained later.

About a half hour into the dancing, Nick and Charlie decided to brave the heat to get some food, but brought it back into the air conditioned vestibule to eat.  They noticed that the same mehndi artists from the night before had arrived and set up a work table in the space.  Some of the family that hadn’t yet had a chance to get the mehndi sat with the artists, as well as guests who had just arrived in Delhi that day.   

Even though the building was air conditioned, the space began to feel stifling as it filled with people.  Once the groom, Gaurav, and some of his family arrived and Gita danced for him, Charlie asked Nick if he wanted to take a walk outside.  Though the nighttime air was still thick with humidity,  Nick happily complied.  He wanted to be alone with Charlie.  He’d been watching Charlie all night and noticing the way Charlie looked at him.  And that touch in the morning when Charlie sat in Nick’s lap.  Nick could still feel Charlie’s hand on his cheek.  He’d felt himself on the verge of telling Charlie how he felt all day even though he’d promised himself he’d wait until they were on their way back to the UK.  

Charlie stood and offered his hand to Nick, who took it, his eyes twinkling as they looked up at Charlie.  They made their way through the crowd and outside onto the grass, walking hand-in-hand through the garden, past a huge purple bougainvillaea and stands of flowering ginger taller than themselves.  They were in the back corner of the property before they knew it.

Continuing to walk, but slowly, Charlie said, “Thanks for coming outside with me.  It’s still hot, but I feel like I can breathe out here.”

“No problem.”  Nick squeezed Charlie’s hand and gazed tenderly at him.  

They’d been hearing the rumble of thunder in the distance for hours, but before either of them could say another word, they heard the crack of striking lightning and then the skies opened up.  Heavy rain suddenly pounded the earth.  Nick pulled Charlie and they ran towards the wrap-around patio.  

“Oh, my god!” Charlie cried, laughing.  “We’re all wet.  Look at your hair!”  Facing Nick, Charlie ran his fingers up through the dripping wet strands flopping down onto Nick’s forehead. 

Nearly breathless from Charlie’s touch, Nick smiled and looked down at him.  The dancing light from the candles on the patio flickered in Charlie’s eyes and bounced off his wet curls.  Charlie started to shiver when a breeze blew through the passage.  Even though they were under the patio awning, the intensity of the rain and gusts of wind sprayed a fine mist over their bodies.  Nick stepped closer and raised his arms to embrace Charlie, who fell into them. 

“I can’t believe I’m cold now,” Charlie said laughing.  “I was so hot a few minutes ago.”

Nick was tempted to say, ‘Oh, you still are hot,’ but he refrained, wanting what he said next to be taken seriously.  The moment was right.  The universe was cooperating.  Nick wanted to tell Charlie how he felt.  Now.   In this moment, while he held Charlie in his arms.  The pounding of the rain matched the pounding of his heart. 

“Charlie, I… I wanted to tell you-” 

“There you two are!” Sai shouted as he strode up from behind Nick. “I was looking everywhere for you.  It’s getting late and people are starting to leave…”

Still holding each other, Nick’s head snapped around to look at Sai, exposing their proximity.  They pulled apart.  Nick’s chest was heaving with emotion and he was trying to calm down, when Sai blurted out, “I’m sorry.  Was I interrupting something?”

“No, mate, you’re not interrupting.”  Panicking, Nick lied.  He glanced back at Charlie and thought he saw something cross his features before his usual calm demeanour washed back over him. 

“We got caught in the rain.  Nick was just helping me stay warm,” Charlie said, so nonchalantly that it felt like a punch in the chest to Nick.  Maybe he’s not that into me?  How can he be so calm right now?  

“Ravi’s getting your car.  Are you ready to go?”  Sai added, after they both nodded, “You just need to bring enough stuff for an overnight stay tomorrow.  Remember to set your alarm.  We’ll be leaving early.  The wedding hotel is just over two hours from Delhi.”   

The Wedding Venue – CHARLIE

Charlie barely spoke on the way home from the sangeet.  He kept replaying Nick’s words – basically him telling Sai that nothing was or will ever happen between them – over and over in his head.  I’m such a fucking idiot!  He doesn’t like you like that, Charlie.  At best, he’s a little curious… but he’s not going to suddenly go from being Mr. Straight Rugby Lad to being your actual, real boyfriend.  Grow. Fucking. Up.  Stop living in this fantasyland!    

He let Nick take his hand in the car.  He let Nick snuggle close to him and kiss him on the temple.  But he felt sick doing it.  It’s not real.  

When they got back to their room, their laundered clothes were waiting for them on their bed.  They spent about 30 minutes packing for the next day, and then Charlie excused himself to the bathroom to get ready for bed.  When Nick came to bed after him, Charlie pretended to be asleep and had turned his body away from Nick’s side of the bed.  Nick still moved right up behind him when he got into bed, resting a hand on Charlie’s hip. 

Sai and Vivek picked them up in the morning in the SUV.  The third row seat was folded down and they were carrying a lot of luggage in the back.  The bridal clothes were spread across the top of the suitcases in the SUV instead of riding in the car with Sai’s uncle.  Sai sat in the backseat with Nick and Charlie, since Vivek sat up front with the driver.  Ravi wasn’t present so there was no reason to pretend, but Nick kept looking over at Charlie trying to get his attention.  Charlie stared out the window, trying to ignore Nick. 

Little by little Nick wore him down, eventually coaxing a smile out of Charlie.  He couldn’t be mad at Nick.  Nick was genuinely a nice guy, and it wasn’t his fault Charlie wanted him so desperately.  Charlie felt like his brain was a particle collider – disparate thoughts about keeping this beautiful man at arms length or just indulging in his warmth and goodness swirled together.  He can’t know what he was doing to me.  He was just being a big, affectionate, straight, teddy bear of a man, warming up his gay friend last night, so what he said to Sai wasn’t wrong.  Sai wasn’t actually interrupting anything.  There was nothing happening to interrupt.  Only a few more days, Charlie, and then you can work on getting over him… again.  In the meantime, maybe just enjoy the incredible snuggles.  And maybe some more innocent flirting?  

Nick and Charlie marvelled at the wedding hotel when they arrived.  It was a 15th-century fort-palace built into the hillside – a maze of different levels with multiple gardens and pools, balconies and wings, turrets and stairs, and an amphitheatre.  Fourteen tiers in all.  Every room at the hotel was unique and the largest rooms had been reserved for the bride and the uncles and aunties.  Nick and Charlie’s room was not as large as either of the ones they stayed in on their Golden Triangle excursion, but it wasn’t bad, and it had a large bathroom with a walk-in shower like the one in Jaipur.  Once they dropped their bags, they went with Sai and Vivek to find Amit and a few of the older cousins to explore the hotel.  After lunch Sai recommended they take a long nap because the reception would take place first, and the wedding ceremony would not start until nearly midnight.  Both Nick and Charlie gave Sai looks of utter confusion.  

“A priest matched Gita and Gaurav’s horoscopes and determined the most auspicious date and time for the marriage.  To make sure the marriage is successful,” Sai explained.  “So… they are having the reception first to celebrate with people, and then the people who can’t or don’t want to stay for the ceremony can leave.  Technically, you could go to bed if you want, but I thought you’d want to see it, since you came all this way.”

“Yes, definitely,” Charlie answered, and Nick agreed.    

The Wedding Reception – NICK 

Nick saw that the shadows in their room had shifted and knew they must have been asleep for a couple of hours.  They’d moved in their sleep, but Nick was happy to find Charlie still in his arms, his head resting on Nick’s chest.  The distance that arose the night before when Sai interrupted them at the sangeet had dissipated and Charlie was allowing Nick back in again. Nick wasn’t sure what had happened.  He was on the verge of telling Charlie the truth, but he thought that maybe it was for the best that Sai walked up.  Nick worried that Charlie knew what he was about to say, and the distance he put between them was his way of telling Nick ‘don’t go there – I don’t feel the same about you.’  Ughhhh, I hope that’s not the case.  But I can’t risk it until we’re back home.  I can’t risk losing the feeling of holding him in my arms like this, even if it’s only for a few more days.  

Charlie woke as Nick contemplated the situation.  “Hi,” he said sleepily, not moving from Nick’s embrace. 

“Hi.”  Nick's chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath in and exhaled.  He loved the weight of Charlie’s head resting there.   “I think we slept for a long time.  Look how the light has changed in the room.”

“What time is it?” Charlie asked. 

“I haven’t checked my phone.”  He squeezed Charlie closer.  “I didn’t want to move and disturb you.”

Charlie looked up at Nick looking down at him. “Nick, you really are too good.”

Just then they heard a knock on their door.  Charlie sat up and swung his feet off the bed to get up and answer it.  Nick reluctantly released him.   

“Hey,” Sai said when Charlie opened the door.  “We’re going for a swim before we have to get ready.  Do you want to come?” 

Charlie looked back at Nick, who was sitting up checking his phone.  Nick answered, “Yeah, sure.” 

“Meet you there in a few minutes.  The pool on the closest terrace?” Charlie asked. Sai confirmed and Charlie closed the door. 

They took turns in the shower after getting back from the pool, throwing on their regular clothes until it was time to get dressed for the reception.  They sat on the bed together, looking through the photos they’d taken of the hotel during their explorations that morning.  

When one particularly cute selfie of the two of them with the hotel tiers in the background came up on Nick’s phone, he asked, “Do you mind if I post this one… of us?”  His voice lowered to nearly a whisper on the ‘us,’ causing Charlie to look up at him.  He bravely went on, “Would you… when we get back home… would you want to hang out… with me?  Before we have to go back to uni?”

Charlie answered, equally softly, “Yeah.  Of course.”  Charlie smiled and lowered his eyes shyly. 

Nick closed his eyes briefly, feeling his stomach swoop with Charlie’s lovely blush. He felt so hopeful.  Maybe… should I tell him… now?

Before he could say more, both their phones pinged.  “Sai says it’s time.  We should get dressed,” Charlie announced, sliding off his side of the bed.  “I’ll change in the bathroom and you can change in here.”  Charlie grabbed his suit that was hanging in the wardrobe.  “Let me know if you need help getting in yours,” Charlie teased, winking at Nick. 

Nick sighed.  Fuck!  I’m so lovesick.   Was he actually flirting or just joking about what happened in the dressing room at the shop?   He got up and started getting changed.  Several minutes later, Nick heard a knock on the bathroom door from the inside and then it opened slightly, only a crack.  

“Can you close your eyes?” Charlie asked.    

Nick smiled a ridiculously huge smile for such a simple question.  “Why?

“Because I’m nervous you’ll think I look weird,” Charlie admitted. 

“Okay, I’m not looking, but for the record, I think you always look cute.”  

Charlie opened the door and took in Nick.  The golden silk shimmered across his toned upper body and strikingly set off his pale skin and hair.  “Nick!  Look at you!”

“Can I please open my eyes now?”  Nick whined. 

“Okay.”  Charlie looked down timidly, holding his arms out to his sides.  When Nick just stood there with his mouth open, Charlie asked nervously, “Does it look bad?”

“No, you look… so good.”  Nick moved towards him and picked Charlie up in a tight hug that lifted him just off the floor.  “You look so good!” he said as he sat Charlie’s feet back down. 

“Shut up!”  Charlie beamed. 

“Shall we go?”  Nick looked at Charlie adoringly and gestured towards the door. 

They met Sai in the lobby where most of his family waited.  His female cousins held baskets with flower petals and waited around the front doors.  Sai led Nick and Charlie back up the grand staircase and to a balcony overlooking the drive.  They could hear the drumming and cheering of the groom’s arrival before they could see it, but it wasn’t long before they saw a long train of people walking along with Gaurav, who was slowly making his way up the drive on a white horse that was decorated to match his outfit of gold silk with blue accents.

Once the groom and his entourage got close to the entrance, he was helped down from the horse and then Sai led Nick and Charlie back to the top of the lobby staircase to see his female cousins welcome the groom and his family and friends.  Gaurav was then led to a dark blue velvet bench under lighter blue layers of silk streamers and yellow and blue flower garlands in the reception hall, where he waited for Gita.  Gita was brought into the hall by her sisters and guided over to Gaurav.  The couple's siblings and cousins milled around them, while they each tried to place the garland around their betrothed with Gita winning, although maybe Gaurav let her.  Then Gita and Gaurav sat and sat and sat… for hours.  Their friends and family, meanwhile, enjoyed chaat appetisers from stalls set up outside on the terrace, and the full buffet meal available in the reception hall.  Their guests took turns wishing them well, handing them envelopes filled with rupees, and taking photos with the happy couple where they sat.

Charlie and Nick ate chaat on the terrace with a few of the cousins, but moved into the reception hall a short time later to get the full meal.  People flowed around the room and in and out of the space.  They sat at a table by themselves to eat and chat about the experience.  Occasionally, Nick saw Sai looking over at them with a curious look on his face, but he ignored it.  Yes, he was sitting very close to Charlie at a large completely empty table, but so what?  What is it to Sai? Nick thought.

When they were nearly done with their meal, Nick asked Charlie, “Did you get some of these?”

Charlie looked at the gulab jamun Nick had on his spoon. “No, I didn’t see the desserts.”

“Do you want me to go get you some?” Nick offered. 

“No, it’s fine.”  Charlie shook his head.  “I’m full anyway.” 

“But they’re delicious.  The best ones I’ve ever eaten.  Here, at least try it.”  He sliced off a bite from one of the sweet orbs, scooping up some of the rosey-syrup with it onto his spoon, and held it up to Charlie’s lips for him to taste. 

Charlie maintained eye contact with Nick as his tongue touched the tip of the spoon before he closed his lips around it.  Nick felt himself growing heated, arousal coiling within him, as he watched Charlie suck the sweet juice from the spoon.  A little dribbled from Charlie’s lips and dropped onto his chin.  Without thinking, Nick reached up and placed his fingers against Charlie’s cheek, while his thumb wiped over the sticky syrup on Charlie’s chin.  He moved his thumb up to rub over Charlie’s bottom lip before bringing it back to suck into his own mouth.  All while maintaining eye contact with Charlie.  Nick noticed Charlie’s ragged breathing and realised he was holding his own breath.  They held each other's gaze until they noticed other people in the room were moving.  

“Umm… I think the ceremony is going to start soon.  I need to run to the loo,” Charlie didn’t wait for a response, but got up and left the room, leaving a speechless Nick sitting there. 

Nick sat, stunned for a moment, and then he turned to see Sai standing beside him.  

“Can I talk to you?  Alone.” 

Looking up at Sai, Nick slowly registered what he was asking and then stood up, following him to an alcove in the hallway near the ceremony room just beyond the loos. 

“What are you doing, Nick?”  Sai looked at him with his brow furrowed.  

“Huh? What do you mean?”  Nick asked.  Not understanding the look Sai was giving him. 

“What are you doing with Charlie?”  Nick just stared at him.  “Look, I thought when I asked you on this trip…”  Sai hesitated and then said, “Nevermind… but if you are playing around with him on purpose…”  Nick still didn’t speak.  He just crossed his arms and scowled at Sai.  “You’re my friend Nick, but Charlie is too.  And I think… well… the way I’ve seen him looking at you…”  Sai trailed off, shaking his head at Nick. 

Nick finally found his words, “You really think he might be taking me seriously?”  Nick had to speak up as the nightly rainstorm had started and the hall echoed with the sound.  

Both Nick and Sai were startled for a moment by the sound of something falling and clanging against the marble floors nearby.  The waitstaff must have dropped something.  

“Yeah,” Sai answered.  “I think he looks at you like… anyway… I know you came out to us last summer, but if you are just playing around or whatever… you shouldn’t… I can’t just let you do that to Charlie.  I had to say something.” 

Nick grabbed Sai’s arm to stop the flow.  “Sai.  Listen to me.  I’m not… I wouldn’t.”  Nick’s voice got softer and Sai had to focus to hear him.  “I really like him.  Like, I’ve always really liked him.  Like that.  Since Truham.  Since Form.   He’s the reason I figured out I’m bisexual.  Long ago, before uni.”  When Sai didn’t speak, Nick asked, “And you think he might like me back?” 

“Charlie’s really good at hiding his feelings.”  Sai took a deep breath and Nick let go of his arm.  “But I caught him looking at you a few times when he didn’t know I was watching, and… yeah.  I think he’s down bad.”  Nick beamed and Sai continued, “And I thought you were too, but then… what you said last night when I walked up on you two at the sangeet.  You were so dismissive and I could see it hurt Charlie and then tonight you were all over him again.” 

“I didn’t want to tell him because he’s trapped here with me and… what if he didn’t like me back?”  Nick shrugged.  “You know what I mean.  I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

Before Sai could answer Nick, he looked up to see Ravi approaching them.  Ravi spoke to Nick.  “Umm… sorry to interrupt, but… Charlie looked upset and I thought I should tell you.  It looked like he was crying and he ran outside and…”  Ravi gestured to the heavens because they’d opened earlier and it was still pouring down.  

Nick mouthed ‘oh fuck!’ and then turned to Sai.  “I’ve gotta go.”  He turned back to Ravi.  “Which way?”

It looked like he was headed downstairs beyond the large pool, Ravi said.

Nick moved as quickly as he could without breaking into a full out run; he couldn’t sprint in the hotel, there were too many people to dodge, since a lot of the people from the reception were now leaving.  How bad would it look for Sai if his British friend barrelled through the hotel knocking the wedding guests to the floor?  He made it down the stairs and onto the landing with the pool and saw Amit.  

“Have you seen Charlie?” Nick asked between laboured, gasping breaths caused more by anxiety than the physical exertion of going down a flight of stairs. 

“Yeah, he was moving quickly, but I think he went towards the amphitheatre.”

Nick thanked Amit and, hesitating for the briefest moment to steel himself, ran out into the cascading monsoon rain, which pelted him as he moved.  He searched from the top of the steps but didn’t see Charlie.  He kept going though, taking the wide stone steps of the amphitheatre two at a time.  When he reached the bottom, he looked over the faux window ledge down towards the lower tiers with no luck.  He then turned to see the outline of someone in one of the hotel turret’s stone overlook on the same level a few yards away.  It was still raining but starting to slow, and he was almost certain it was Charlie.  He ran to him as fast as he could. 

“Charlie!” Nick shouted as he got close.  

Charlie turned when he heard Nick. “Nick?  What are you doing?” Charlie asked as Nick stood in the entrance of the overlook.  

“Looking for you.”  Nick moved closer, tentatively.  He could see that Charlie had been crying.

Charlie wiped his cheeks with the back of his hands and began moving, but he pushed past Nick, saying, “I want to be alone.”  He ran back out into the rain, falling gently now, towards the grass covered landing near the overlook. 

Just as Charlie stepped onto the grass, Nick tugged at his arm.  “Wait!  I have to tell you something.”  Both men dripped with rainwater, their silk kurtas plastered to their bodies. 

“I know what you’re going to say, Nick.  I heard you and Sai.”  Nick stared into Charlie’s face as he spoke, not understanding.  Why is he crying if he heard my confession?  He really doesn’t feel the same.  Sai was wrong.   Nick’s heart squeezed with terror of what might be coming next, but he braced himself for Charlie’s next words.  “Were you actually trying to be nice?  Or was this all a joke to you?”

“Charlie, wait!  I don’t understand.”  Nick thought back to the conversation with Sai.  It dawned on him that maybe the clanging noise he’d heard in the hall was Charlie running away.  He put the heels of his hands up against his forehead, but then jerked them away to say, “I don’t think you did hear what I said to Sai.”  

Nick grasped Charlie’s biceps as he spoke.  “I like you, Charlie, and I can’t keep pretending that it’s not real.  Because it is so real… at least for me it is.”  He tilted his head and stared into Charlie’s eyes, imploring him to listen and be kind. 

“You like me?”  Charlie asked, smiling but tentatively, sounding uncertain.

Nick’s mouth curved up on one side.  “Was that not obvious?”  

“I mean… I don’t know.”  Charlie cast his eyes down demurely.  “I thought you were straight.”

“But I’ve been trying to show you that I’m not.”  Nick gave an exasperated laugh.  “I’ve been doing everything I could think of to show you I like you without actually saying it.”  He lowered his voice.  “I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, like Ravi, if you didn’t like me back.”

Charlie let himself smile.  “Sometimes I thought… maybe.  But then I told myself you’re just a really nice guy.  Affectionate with everyone.”

“And you didn’t ask anyone about the writing I had them add to your mehndi?  Or try to look it up?  I thought for sure you’d figure it out and then know.” 

“What does it mean?”  Charlie pulled up the sleeve of his kurta and looked down at the Devanāgarī that was part of the design on his arm: हृद्याऽसि। .  He ran his fingers over it and then looked back up at Nick.

“Umm… well…”  Nick reached up to push his dripping fringe out of his eyes.  “If my googling is correct, it means ‘You are as dear to me as my heart.’”  Nick tilted his head down and sideways, looking back up at Charlie shyly out of the corners of his eyes.

“Nick?” Charlie uttered, breathlessly.   It was only his name but Charlie put every scintilla of what he felt for the man into that one syllable.   

Dappled light from the outdoor light strands strung across the building's facade illuminated Charlie’s features in a glowing outline, radiating through the droplets clinging to Charlie’s lashes and curls.  Nick stepped closer, sliding his hands from Charlie’s arms to his back.  

“Char, you are so beautiful right now.”  Nick rolled his eyes at himself.  “I mean… you always are but especially right now.  Can I…”  Nick let out a shaky breath.  “Can I… kiss you?”  His voice dropped to a whisper on the ‘kiss you.’

Charlie blinked.  “Umm… yeah.”  

Nick slowly pulled him closer and, closing his eyes, found Charlie’s lips with his own.  It was a slow, soft kiss at first, but after they pulled apart to smile at each other, they both leaned back in for more. 

When they pulled apart again, Nick asked, “Can we get out of the rain?”

Only a fine mist was falling from the sky at this point, but Charlie took Nick’s hand to lead him back to the covered overlook.  

Nick sat on the edge of the opening overlooking the valley below, leaning back against the stone frame, and pulled Charlie onto his lap.  Charlie fell into his arms and against his chest.  Stroking Charlie’s arm, Nick murmured, “I’ve liked you for years, Charlie.”

Charlie sat up, startled. “What?”

“Yeah.”  Nick rubbed the back of his neck.  “Since we were in Form together, actually,” Nick admitted.

“Really?”

“Yeah.  My crush on you during secondary is how I figured out that I’m bi, actually.”

“Nick.”  Charlie looked up at him, caressing his cheek, and also looking a little teary-eyed.  “I can’t believe it.  I liked you too.  So much.  Since Truham.”

Nick shook his head in disbelief.  “You mean we could have been together for years now?”

Charlie just smiled and shrugged and Nick smiled back at him.  Then Nick noticed that Charlie was shaking.  

“Are you cold?”  Charlie nodded and Nick wrapped his arms more tightly around him.  “How about we go to our room and get out of these wet clothes?”  Nick suggested, pulling back to look into Charlie’s eyes, who stood and then pulled Nick up with him. 

The Wedding Ceremony – CHARLIE

With his arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders, Nick led Charlie back to their room.  The beauty of the mediaeval hotel was the myriad staircases and passages to move around it so that they were able to avoid the wedding festivities altogether.

Nick opened the door and ushered Charlie inside, and Charlie immediately took the opportunity to push Nick against the door as it closed to kiss him again.  It only lasted a minute before Charlie pulled away, making Nick groan in protest. 

“Come on.  We’re dripping on the floor,” Charlie laughed. 

Nick pulled him back against his body.  “Who cares?  I can’t believe we haven’t been doing this the whole time.”  Nick found Charlie’s mouth again with his own. 

After another minute, Charlie complained, “But I’m cold.”  He was shaking but partly with excitement given the turn of events, not just his body temperature.  Thirty minutes ago, he stood crying, convinced everything that had happened had been one big game to Nick.  He’d been in the hallway and heard Nick laugh and ask Sai if he really thought Charlie was taking their fake dating seriously, not realising that if he’d have stayed instead of rushing out of there he would have known that it was a joyous musing, not a mocking dismissal.

“Let me help you then?”  Nick looked at him with questioning eyes, asking for consent as he began to lift Charlie’s kurta.  Charlie nodded and Nick slowly, carefully pulled the wet garment over his head. 

Charlie’s skin reacted to the cold air against his damp skin, and Nick hurriedly pulled his own wet kurta off, throwing it to join Charlie’s in a silken heap on the floor. He wrapped himself around Charlie, skin to skin to warm him up. They stood there for several minutes, swaying together, eyes closed, just feeling each other's bodies.  They’d hugged before – a lot on this trip, actually – but never like this.  Never in this newly intimate way. 

Still holding onto Nick around his waist, Charlie said, “Should we get dressed?  We should go back down for the ceremony.”

Nick pulled back slightly and looked down at Charlie.  “Stay here.  I’ll be right back.”  

He moved to the bathroom and came back with a towel a few seconds later.  He brought it up to Charlie’s hair, tousling it to stop it from dripping, and then moved down to dry Charlie’s arms, back and chest.

Nick looked at Charlie reverently as he performed the task, letting his fingertips fall against Charlie’s tight abs when he was almost done.  “You’re so perfect, Char.”  He looked up into Charlie’s darkened blue eyes.  “I’ve dreamed about this for so many years.”

Charlie’s eyes welled with tears – happy ones this time – as he looked at Nick. “I can’t believe this is real.  I’ve liked you for so long, Nick.”  Charlie saw Nick flush with colour from his chest up. 

Nick lifted Charlie’s chin with the hand not holding the towel and brought their lips together again.  “We’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” he said as they stopped to breathe. 

Nick threw the towel over his shoulder, moving his fingers to untie Charlie’s churidars which were translucent at this point, being both white and wet.  Charlie nodded, and Nick dropped to one knee to help Charlie out of the wet trousers with Charlie bracing himself by holding onto Nick’s shoulder.  Nick dried Charlie’s legs once he stepped out and kicked the churidars to the side, but didn’t ask for more at that moment.  He wrapped the towel around Charlie’s hips and Charlie slid his own pants to the floor. 

“Let me get you a towel,” Charlie said, moving towards the bathroom as Nick stood and proceeded to get his own wet churidars off. 

When Charlie came back, Nick was starkers except that he had his hands covering himself in the front.  Charlie giggled, giddy with having his dreams fulfilled, but then instinctively bit his lip and blushed as he took in the man before him.  He brought the towel over and moved behind Nick, running it across his hair first and then drying the drips rolling down his broad muscular back.  Charlie let his hand wander down Nick’s side, down the side of his hip and onto his thigh, admiring his form.  Charlie couldn’t wait to explore more and see everything, but they needed to get to the ceremony.

Smiling uncontrollably – and peeking – they both got dressed, deciding that chinos and the shirts they bought in Jaipur would be fine to wear.  Sai told them that some of the family might put on more comfortable clothes to watch the ceremony, since it would be lasting until the wee hours of the morning.  Charlie stopped Nick before he opened the door and let his hands move up to Nick’s face to pull him in for another kiss.  Their lips touched tentatively at first, but soon Charlie opened his mouth slightly, which Nick took as an invitation to explore with his tongue.

When they took a breath, Charlie sighed deeply, smirking up at Nick.  “We’d better go, or they’re going to already be married.”  

Nick led the way, taking Charlie’s hand.  When they got down to the wedding, they saw some of the relatives saying goodnight and some cousins just hanging out in the lobby and the hallway.  Before they reached the ceremony room, they saw Sai coming towards them.

“Everything okay?” he asked, looking from Charlie to Nick. 

Nick beamed and Charlie answered, “Yeah.  Everything’s okay.”  Then Charlie smiled like the sun breaking across the horizon at dawn. 

“Good.”  Sai patted the side of Charlie’s arm.  “The ceremony is happening.  You missed some of the beginning but it's almost time for Gita’s father to link her hand with Gaurav’s.”  Sai pulled them towards the door of the room.  “There are plenty of seats around the mandap.  Sit wherever you like.”

As they walked through the door, they saw that Sai was right.  There had been hundreds of people at the reception, but less than forty people sat around the wedding platform.  Chairs were arranged around three sides of the mandap – only four rows deep.  The lights in the room were lowered and candles on towering stands dotted the room, casting a rich glow in the seating area.  The room opened onto one of the hotel terraces that sported a green lawn, and the doors were open to the soft breeze after the rain.  The air smelled of petrichor and sandalwood. 

The mandap was square with a crystal chandelier hanging in the middle, illuminating the ceremony in the midst of the candle-lit room.  Yards of blue silk radiated out from the chandelier and bunched together around the posts at the four corners.  Strings of yellow marigold blooms hung like a curtain at the back of the mandap.  Garlands of yellow flowers outlined the top of the structure on all sides and spilled down the vertical posts.

Nick hadn’t let go of Charlie’s hand since they left their room, and when they entered the room he led Charlie to chairs in the back row, out of the way.  Charlie knew they couldn’t kiss in public, but they could sit as close as possible, and hold onto each other as they watched. 

After the kanyadaan was finished, it was time for the vivaah homa.  The priest lit the sacred fire and then spoke.  Nick and Charlie couldn’t understand because the priest spoke in Hindi.  Gita and Gaurav put some stuff in the fire, but Nick and Charlie couldn’t see what.  They would have asked Sai, but he was still standing near the doorway.  They looked around to see the relatives coming and going from the room, and some of them were chatting in their seats.  Everyone seemed so nonchalant about the ceremony.  It was surprising.  

Charlie pulled out his phone to try to find a guide to Hindu weddings to give them some clues about the different parts of the ceremony.  When the bride and groom’s dupattas were tied together – literally, the knot was tied – and they began encircling the sacred fire, Nick and Charlie quietly read what each revolution symbolised.  They looked up shyly at each other with each of the seven steps as if a hope hung between them.  With the hand not holding Charlie’s, Nick traced the outline of Charlie’s mehndi with his fingertip, and Charlie leaned his head on Nick’s shoulder while they waited for the ceremony to finish.

It was nearly two-thirty in the morning before it was over and the groom paid Sai’s cousins to get his shoes back.  When it was finally time for the bride and groom to leave together, Gita and her family wept and hugged and wept some more.  It was a long, sad leave-taking.  Sai explained later that everyone was sad because Gita is leaving their home, leaving her family forever.            

It was almost four in the morning when Nick and Charlie finally made it to their room.  They kissed when they first entered the room, but then both agreed they should get ready for bed.  Nick went first and when Charlie came out of the bathroom after his turn, Nick was sitting on the bed in only his pants. 

“Is this okay?” Nick looked down at his own body, and then back up into Charlie’s eyes.  

Charlie walked over to him and stood between his legs.  “Yeah.”  One side of Charlie’s mouth turned up and he ran the fingers on one hand down from Nick’s shoulder, between his pecs, and down to his navel.  “I can’t believe we wasted all those days not doing this already.”  Charlie looked up at him.  

“I bet one day we’ll look back on it and laugh though,” Nick said.  Charlie wondered if Nick realised what he was implying.  He thought he might.  “Can I?” Nick asked, running his fingers under Charlie’s shirt.  Charlie nodded and Nick pulled it off over his head. “What about these?”  Nick hooked his fingers over the band of Charlie’s trousers.  

“Yeah.  Go ahead.”

Nick unbuttoned and unzipped Charlie’s chinos and slid them down his hips, brushing his hands over Charlie’s arse.  Charlie stepped out of them and kicked them to the side.  Nick grabbed his waist and pulled him close, sliding off the bed, so they were both standing with their bodies pressed together.  

“Are you ready?” Nick asked.  

“Yeah,” Charlie answered. 

The next morning, the sun streamed in through a gap in the curtains, but it still felt early.  Charlie could hear birdsong.  He felt Nick’s large arm under his head and, even with his eyes closed, he knew he was turned towards the larger man.  He opened one eye slowly to see a wall of bare chest in front of him.  He felt Nick run his fingers through his hair on the side of his head and then tangle into his curls on the back.  Charlie looked down at the message Nick had left on his skin days ago, and then looked up to see Nick staring at him with an angelic smile settled on his face. 

“Hi,” Nick whispered. 

“Hi.”    

🧡🤍💚