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Neuvillette knew better than anyone that the Iudex doesn't show emotion. He can't risk his impartiality becoming compromised, so he holds everything in. He doesn't cry, not even in private. The sound of raindrops falling onto the Palais Mermonia's roof is the best way he can openly express emotion.
He was still searching for the meaning of his existence. Furina brought him to the Court of Fontaine to try and find out, but he's still searching for answers almost 500 years later.
Very few have attempted to get close to him. Most people in Fontaine view him as an unwavering pillar of justice, so they give him a wide berth when out in public. Furina managed to force her way into his life, and due to her bringing him to Fontaine, he keeps her closer than arm's length, but not more than that. Aether and Paimon refuse to let Neuvillette be. He fears forming emotional connections will damper his judgment, but those two never gave up on being his friends. In all of his years, he never considered having them. His guarded heart built another wall after the incident with Carole and Vautrin. Even the Melusines, whom he introduced to Fontaine over 400 years ago, have yet to qualify as "friends." He almost views them as his own children. They are precious to him, and the Court of Fontaine's acceptance warms his closed-off heart.
While they aren't close, he has kept an eye on Navia since that fateful day. He feels a chasm between them that he can't cross, but he refuses to stop watching over her. However, once she and Clorinde found each other again, he felt more at ease.
Wriothesley was a special case. His trial left Neuvillette with the same question as Vautrin's. What exactly is justice when the defendant has ample reason to fight back? Vautrin personally dealt with Carole's killers out of anguish, and Wriothesley killed his foster parents to protect his siblings. Wriothesley's guilty plea left him with no other option. He didn't plead self-defense like Neuvillette was hoping he would. Regardless, the tragic case got lost in the wind of the public eye after a few short weeks. Wriothesley was exiled just as Vautrin was.
Neuvillette knew the routine of emotionless impartiality. Listen to the prosecution and defense, make a judgment, and let the Oratrice deliver the final verdict. The Iudex of Fontaine had to balance out the Archon's dramatic facade. He knew that the people of Fontaine viewed him as such, so seeing him in public led to gossip surrounding the court.
Everything was routine for Neuvillette. When his routine of checking on the Fortress showed that Wriothesley had the best instincts to be the Warden, Neuvillette fought hard for him. Wriothesley's promotion to the Warden and then his title of Duke left Neuvillette confident the Fortress of Meropide was in the best possible hands. He kept up correspondence with Wriothesley about the affairs of the Fortress, but he refused to let Wriothesley any closer than arm's length.
However, Wriothesley wouldn't give up. His letters and their rare meetings always carried an air of closeness on the Duke's part. Neuvillette wanted to reject his advances of friendship, but Wriothesley managed to worm his way through his heart's defenses. Cold demeanors turned into Neuvillette trying (and failing) to teach him how to effectively taste water. Formal handshakes turned into friendly touches. Formal talks turned into Wriothesley making Neuvillette laugh after a hard day. Furina always wore a teasing smirk when Wriothesley left Neuvillette's quarters after his (now frequent) visits. His feelings got more and more confusing after each informal visit.
The first time Wriothesley kissed him was a fleeting brush of lips. All at once, Neuvillette's feelings clicked. Wriothesley must've picked up on it as he said Neuvillette looked like he finished his existential crisis. Neuvillette kissed the grin off of Wriothesley's face.
Neuvillette made sure to keep their budding relationship under wraps. The Duke and the Iudex being in a relationship would damage their reputations. It didn't take long for Furina to pick up on it. After begging and pestering Neuvillette to "just tell her who it was," he folded and told her everything. Navia was the next to figure it out. She entered the Palais to meet her fiancee as Neuvillette had wrapped up a poorly disguised date with Wriothesley. The knowing smile Navia gave him was all Neuvillette needed to get the hint. She picked up on the indication of secrecy and motioned to zip her lips, the smug smile never leaving her face.
Wriothesley told Neuvillette Sigewinne had caught on to their relationship and had teased him for weeks. Melusines were playful creatures, and he remembers doubling over in laughter the first time he saw Wriothesley peel a shark-Wriothesley sticker off his glove. Watching Wriothesley try and fail to get the sticker off his fingers sent tears of laughter into Neuvillette's eyes. Neuvillette took pity and finally used some hydro to unstick the adhesive. He still has that silly sticker in his desk drawer.
For those who knew of Neuvillette's true identity, they tried to cheer him up in any way possible when the rain wouldn't stop. Wriothesley and Furina would try to find him various waters. Once, Aether brought back water from a place in Sumeru. He claimed that the residents of this area thought their water was the best. When asked about the location and details of the residents, Aether told him it was a secret.
Neuvillette carefully crafted walls in his mind to prevent him from breaking down. He carefully organized his centuries worth of memories to keep the positive ones in the forefront and the painful ones hidden away. Situations rarely put Neuvillette in a situation where the walls would crack. To solve this, he simply built another wall to replace the cracked one. The Iudex was not allowed to break down.
The memories of Carole and Vautrin were the first to crack the wall in years. Memories he never wanted to see or hear of again rushed back into his head, tearing open a scar on his heart. Aether didn't push it and just silently comforted him. Crack. He didn't even flinch when the rain started pouring down. He just patted Neuvillette's shoulder before Paimon dragged him to the cafe for desserts. He didn't have the heart to tell the talkative fairy that desserts weren't his thing. Furina would do similar things to cheer him up after a rough case or a suicide duel. After the crowds cleared, he often found Navia holding a sobbing, bloodied Clorinde following such duels. He was envious in a way. He wasn't allowed to cry. The rain was enough. (Repair).
After the dust cleared and Kiara was safe, Neuvillette was emotionally exhausted. He went down to the Fortress after the residents had gone to bed and silently entered the Duke's quarters. Wriothesley was silent when Neuvillette slumped into his lap and hugged him. He was used to this after Neuvillette had a rough day. He never outwardly expressed his emotions, so the rain replaced the tears of the Hydro Dragon. Neuvillette would stay silent as he clung to his lover, unspoken words being more than enough comfort.
Wriothesley would pick up Neuvillette like it was nothing and carry him to bed per routine. They'd lay together and not let go. Both their tears unshed and their fate looming over them. Both knew Neuvillette would outlive Wriothesley, and their time was fleeting. This fact remains Neuvillette's biggest fear, but Wriothesley pays it no mind. Furina and the Melusines have been his only constants, so to open up to others just to watch them die scares Neuvillette. He brought it up once, and Wriothesley told him to stop worrying about the future. He then joked that he'd haunt him after his death.
Wriothesley could tell something was wrong, but he didn't push it. For once, Neuvillette wished he would, but he knew how Wriothesley worked. He waited for Neuvillette to talk when he was ready. The last time Wriothelsey pushed Neuvillette to talk, Neuvillette checked out of the conversation.
They would hold each other until morning when Neuvillette would have to sneak out of the Fortress before the inmates caught wind of his presence. He rarely went down to the Fortress as it was. It was easier for Wriothesley to come to the surface than to risk his presence in the Fortress. Only Furina knew of the comings and goings of the Iudex and the Duke.
They were never able to meet as often as they wanted, but over time, there was space in Neuvillette's closet for Wriothesley's clothes. Neuvillette started collecting rare teas to keep in his kitchen, and Wriothesley kept different waters in his office. Small things showed that the other had lived in their respective homes.
Neuvillette woke up one night to the door opening. He went out to greet his guest before he paused. Wriothesley was quietly taking his boots off. He looked exhausted as he discarded his jacket. Neuvillette quickly walked over to his lover to comfort him. He squeezed his hand before getting Wriothesley a cup of tea. Neuvillette preferred water over everything, but he savored cups of tea with his lover.
Wriothesley's red-rimmed eyes and soft trembling told Neuvillette everything. Something happened in the Fortress that Aether's report didn't cover. All Aether had said was that someone in the Fortress tried to control some of the inmates, but he refused to share further details. Paimon was uncharacteristically quiet during their talk. Neuvillette knew that Wriothesley's report would be more in-depth, so he didn't press Aether for more information.
Neuvillette was removed from his thoughts when Wriothesley's tears hit the table. Neuvillette immediately moved to hug his lover. This time, it was Neuvillette who carried Wriothesley to bed. He held Wriothesley close as he silently cried into Neuvillette's chest. Crack. (Repair).
Neuvillette slowly ran his fingers through Wriothesley's hair to comfort him. He never let go of the man clinging to him. Neuvillette doesn't believe he'd be able to let go.
Wriothesley softly told Neuvillette the full situation with an inmate holding hostages and the black gem of flashbacks he inflicted on the inmates. He told Neuvillette he was exposed to the black gem and had to relive the memories from his childhood. Crack. Wriothesley mentioned that this was the first time he felt he failed in his duties. Crack. (Repair).
He was silent as he took in the information, mirroring his demeanor during Wriothesley's trial. He just held on while feeling the pain emanating from Wriothesley's tears. His lover is similar to him in that neither of them cried much. Neuvillette had his reputation to uphold, while Wriothesley held everything in until he was alone.
Wriothesley had a tendency to fall asleep once he felt safe enough to let his emotional exhaustion hit him, so Neuvillette wasn't worried when soft breathing replaced the cries. Neuvillette repositioned Wriothesley more comfortably without letting go and fell asleep with him.
The next morning, Wriothesley made them breakfast. Neuvillette offhandedly asked if he wanted to talk about the situation in the Fortress, but Wriothesley gave him a look that said everything. The situation was still difficult, but he had re-compartmentalized his childhood memories. Neuvillette internally breathed a sigh of relief to know that this situation wouldn't cause his lover to spiral. Wriothesley snuck out unnoticed, and the full incident report landed on his desk a few days later. Neuvillette would be lying if he said the situation didn't make him nauseous.
Over the span of his life, Neuvillette has found that he's valued the emotions of others over his own. Humans still confused him, but he found it easier to resonate with their emotions instead of unraveling his own. Furina told him it would take time to figure out his questions, but how long did she mean? He has those who value his existence, but does he value it? Those who know his true identity don't treat him differently because of it, and it's something Neuvillette has come to appreciate. He can't escape the rumors of being Furina's or Egeria's familiar, but he doesn't mind the opinions of those he has no connection to.
Neuvillette's routine evolved once Wriothesley and Aether entered his life. Aether seemed to be there for him without realizing Neuvillette's stance on personal connections. Like Furina, Wriothesley never gave up on him. However, unlike Furina, he managed to get close to Neuvillette. To him, Furina felt like his employer, but internally, he viewed himself almost as her caretaker. Furina's facade left her vulnerable if caught off guard, so Neuvillette was there to make sure she didn't crumble in front of her adoring audience. Neuvillette was met with nothing but respect from Fontainians, but Furina was treated as a "mascot" of sorts. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Wriothesley brought life and a new spark to his lifeless routine. Neuvillette started to look forward to things. He actively sought gifts for his lover as he adored the joy the recipient exuded. During a trip to Liyue for rare teas, he unknowingly ran into Morax in Chenyu Vale. Neuvillette thought something was odd about Zhongli, but the tea he recommended was well-loved by Wriothesley. He decided to take Wriothesley to Chenyu Vale once. No one knew their identities, so they could be a normal couple out in public. Furina took over the trials, as "the Iudex has fallen ill and will not be able to conduct trials for a few days." He commissioned a cake from Furina's favorite bakery to thank her. Wriothesley's staff in the Fortress only knew he was on vacation. Neuvillette wished they could be public about their relationship, but it was safer for it to stay hidden. Wriothesley doesn't need his protection, but he's terrified someone would use him as leverage. When they returned, it was back to routines and their secret.
It wasn't uncommon to see the Duke and Iudex attending one-on-one formal dinners together. Fontanians assumed it was work-related. A small gossip rag stirred up a short-lived rumor once that was close to the truth. It was dismissed by the public as "the Iudex is impartial. He has no time for relationships." Neither of them knew what to make of the public's general consensus.
As much as Neuvillette appreciates the trust Fontaine has in him, he wishes that they'd treat him more like a human than a pillar of justice. His stone-cold demeanor might be a factor, but it still bothered him. He had to harden himself to deal with the thousands of tragic cases and the thousands more defendants and prosecutors cursing him out. It rained when the dragon was stirred by these cases, and the rain stopped after he pulled his emotions together.
The anniversary of Carole's sacrifice came again. No matter how many centuries pass, it rains every time. Fontainians have the date marked on their calendar to remind themselves to plan their outings around it. Neuvillette wasn't sure if he preferred quiet over the usual bustling of the Court of Fontaine. Furina and Wriothesley knew the date by heart. If Furina came across Neuvillette, she would hug him. She asks if Neuvillette wants to talk about it every year, and every year, he declines. Furina brought up her frustrations once, but Neuvillette refused to budge. He never wanted to speak of those memories more than necessary. Ever since Wriothesley learned the secret behind the rainy day that comes every year, he would try his best to free his schedule.
Neuvillette had spent the entire day in silence. Trials were rarely scheduled due to the atmosphere the dragon's unshed tears produced. Centuries later, he still blames himself. He has never regretted his decision to bring the Melusines to the Court of Fontaine, but he has small regrets over how he handled it. Had he paid more attention and gotten Furina involved, maybe Carole would still be here, and the trial that caused the streets to flood would not have happened.
The knock on his door that night was expected. It was either Furina with the latest purified Fontaine water or Wriothesley. He started leaving his door unlocked on this day out of habit because of how routine Furina's visits were. Although, since Furina found out about Wriothesley, she typically visited him during the day and left the nights for Wriothesley. Neuvillette knew it was because Furina didn't want to leave him alone on a vulnerable day, but he doesn't think he would mind solitude.
He quietly opened the door to see his lover on the step. Wriothesley hugged him before discarding his jacket and shoes. He offered Neuvillette water from that place in Sumeru. Wriothesley must have gotten some from Aether, as he refuses to share the location with either of them. Wriothesley brewed himself a cup of tea and settled next to Neuvillette on the couch.
The unspoken question asking if Neuvillette wanted to talk about it was screaming. Crack. Neuvillette stated he wasn't sure, and Wriothesley dropped it. He moved over to cuddle up further next to Neuvillette. The unspoken question hung in the air even after Wriothesley dropped it. Crack. The memories wouldn't go away. He held them in for too long. Crack. The air turned panicked as Neuvillette tried to push his emotions aside. Crack. The wall wouldn't stay up no matter how many times Neuvillette tried to fix it. His breathing became faster as his emotions started spiraling. Crack.
It was only a matter of time before Wriothesley noticed. The question of which event would happen first, Wriothesley noticing or the walls being fixed, ran through his head.
The question was answered when Wriothesley stiffened and turned to Neuvillette. All it took was Wriothesley asking if he was okay for the walls to come crashing down.
For the first time in centuries, the dragon cried. He cried for not being able to protect Carole. He cried for the people of Fontaine he couldn't save. He cried for the ones whose emotions flooded the waters with hurt. All of the deaths in the ring, the deaths of friends he will always lose, and the grim outcome that awaits his relationship with Wriothesley.
Wriothesley pulled Neuvillette into his arms and kissed his head. Neuvillette barely noticed through the torrential downpour of emotions. He could vaguely hear the rain pick up outside.
Don't leave me. Please, Don't leave me. I can't lose anyone else.
Neuvillette hadn't realized he said those words out loud until Wriothesley reassured him that he wasn't going anywhere. Neuvillette knew the guillotine of mortality hanging over Wriothesley's neck would take him from Neuvillette eventually, but this time, he wanted to forget about it. The future be damned, he doesn't want to let go. The streets will flood with the dragon's tears when that fated time comes, but Neuvillette refuses to think about it in the present.
The tears felt endless as they flooded his eyes, but just this once, he didn't mind. The Iudex's public impartiality will return before the skies clear tomorrow. For now, he wasn't the Hydro Dragon Sovereign or the Iudex of Fontaine. He was just Neuvillette. That was okay with him.
As the sobs died down, he picked up on the whispered reassurances Wriothesley gave him. At this moment, he was not alone.
"I love you. I love you so much, Neuvillette."
The words repeated in Neuvillette's head. In all his years, love was foreign to the Hydro Dragon Sovereign. Many have said they loved him, but he's never had partners before Wriothesley. No one managed to get close enough to Neuvillette for him to truly love someone.
Neuvillette felt the smile on his lover's face as he kissed him.
"I love you too."