Chapter Text
Yingxing shows him the brief notes he managed to take from the Hall of Records. The receptionist was apparently surprised to see him there with the High Elder absent, and Yingxing had to formulate some story about a restless sleep and a light fever.
“So you’re sick if anyone asks.” His eyes skate to the small bag of tea leaves from their brief visit to the doctor. “I suppose that narrative is consistent.”
Dan Heng looks briefly at the pieces of paper, but the handwriting is too scrawled and loose for him to read properly. “You’ll have to tell me what this says.”
Yingxing stifles a laugh and snatches the paper from Dan Heng’s hand. “Oh. This was a journal entry written by the Intelligentsia Guild. The scientist hypothesizes that time travel is possible via a specific type of black hole.”
That would be a more natural phenomenon than what Dan Heng thought, but what were the actual chances? “That seems unlikely to apply to my situation.”
“The probability is incredibly low, I agree. The specific type of black hole that would need to be present to distort time instead of distance, is for one, incredibly rare. 3% occurrence when thinking about the occurrence of black holes in their entirety. Take that 3% and divide by five million and those are the odds that you end up in the past and on the Luofu. Take that and divide it further , and those are the odds that you end up in this year. It’s not impossible.”
“But unlikely.” Dan Heng bites his lip, momentarily caught by the speed and intelligence of Yingxing’s brief speech. “And for Dan Feng to—”
“I thought that as well.” Yingxing straightens out the page and places it back on the small table. “The odds that two incarnations just so happen to fall into something like that are…infinitesimal.”
“It’s more likely that all of this is some sort of simulation.”
Yingxing snorts. “You think so?” His long fingers, nail edges uneven, tap in a solid rhythm on the wood. “Do I feel like a simulation?”
A dream more than that. A simulation of Yingxing would be realer somehow. Less forgiving. More like…Blade. Dan Heng can’t help but glance down at Yingxing’s chest, his finger’s twitching. He can still feel Cloud-Piercer in his hands, not wanting to do it but left with no choice but to stab it through this man.
The light in his eyes returned faster than it had vanished.
Dan Heng never wants to see that again.
“No.” He feels his throat bob at the answer, and Yingxing looks strangely self-satisfied by the simple response. He continues to sift through the papers, cross-legged and comfortable on the floor, sometimes suppressing what would be a large yawn from escaping. The fourth time this happens, Dan Heng reaches out and grasps his wrist. Yingxing stirs from the contact. “Yingxing.” Dan Heng settles his hand and the paper he held back to the table. “This was a lot of research to accomplish in a few hours.”
“Say what you mean,” Yingxing says back immediately. “You know me somehow. I’m not sure if it’s your…memories or what, but you know this took me more than a few hours.”
“All night then.” Dan Heng sighs. “Your brain is useless half asleep.”
“More than half.”
“Even worse.” Dan Heng shuffles the pieces of paper and sets them into a neat pile. “You should rest.”
Yingxing starts to stand, agreeing, but hesitates. He looks at the pile of papers, at Dan Heng, and then rubs his tired eyes with his hands. “I worry if I leave here I’ll find myself right back at the Hall of Records.”
“Then stay here,” Dan Heng offers easily. His heart thrums at the suggestion. “You’ve…rested here before, I assume.”
His eyes are wide and look the most awake Dan Heng has seen today. “You’re sure?”
“Please.”
“The begging is new.” Yingxing chuckles to himself. “I don’t dislike it.”
Dan Heng feels warmth flood his cheeks. “I can always change my mind about the offer.”
“No need.” Yingxing stands, stretches, black jacket dragging up and over his hip bones. “I’ll be good.” He vanishes away from the tea table and towards the back of the room where several large wardrobes are kept. There’s the noise of shifting clothing. His heavy jacket and pants must fall to the floor, and soon Yingxing is back in the main room, dressed in dark linens that look achingly soft to touch.
His hair is also unbound and falls evenly across his back, sheets of pure white. Yingxing stretches his arms again, and a small creak could be heard. “This old man needs to get to bed. Yours is so much better than mine. But I suppose you wouldn’t know that, would you?”
The warmth doesn’t fade from Dan Heng’s face. “I wouldn’t.”
Yingxing huffs and crawls into the bed. He lets loose a large sigh, content, as he wraps himself in the sheets, inhaling deeply before sitting back up. His hair crowns his shoulders, and sleep already clouds over his eyes, almost making them grey. “You’re not tired too?”
Dan Heng is the opposite of tired. He feels every bit of blood coming and going through his heart. Each pump. Each rush and flow from his fingers to his toes. He stays silent and seated by the tea table but Yingxing continues. “You look tired. So young but…” Yingxing sits up straighter. “Is it odd if I ask you to lay with me?”
Dan Heng chokes on nothing. “Lay with you?”
“I mean it literally. Lay next to me. Just until I sleep? I’m not used to…it reminds me of when we fought. Sleeping alone.”
It’s one of the few times Yingxing calls it out specifically. He and Dan Feng fought about something, something important enough to give Dan Heng an excuse to be initially distant. And it is an odd ask. Dan Heng should say no and get his schedule sorted. He’s already slept most of the day, and Jing Yuan would certainly seek him out after his visit to the Divination Commission.
But he stands from the tea table and walks over to the large expanse of bed. Yingxing is quiet as he approaches, but he jostles and hands Dan Heng his phone before opening the sheets. Dan Heng sets the phone on the side and slides in next to him. He stays on the far side, mostly upright. Yingxing turns on his side to face him. “Not changing?”
“Are we playing house?” Dan Heng is suddenly fascinated by his own hands and not the man next to him.
“I’m sorry if this is strange for you. You don’t have to—”
“It’s not strange.” Dan Heng exhales and turns to face him. Yingxing looks so, so soft. His body has lowered under most of his sheets, and his hair is haphazardly brushed across his face. Dan Heng holds back from touching him. “That’s what's so unsettling about it.”
“I think I feel the same if that makes you feel any better.” Yingxing’s hand makes circles in the space between them. “Come closer.”
Dan Heng obeys and rests his back on the mattress. He moves a little closer to Yingxing who then lays a hand over his stomach, dragging and turning so that Dan Heng’s back is flushed against his chest. He feels entirely too warm. Yingxing’s hands stay nestled against his abdomen. His breath hits the nape of his neck over and over again, and Yinxging’s low voice is velvet against his skin. “I hope this is okay. Dan Feng—”
“He’d want you to feel good.” Dan Heng swallows at the name. “It’s okay, Yingxing.”
“That wasn’t what I was going to say. It’s just not often we lay like this.” Yingxing rubs his nose against Dan Heng’s neck. “It’s nice. Do you think it feels nice?”
More than nice. Dan Heng curls a hand over Yingxing’s, and his body relaxes as he feels enveloped by warmth. “Yes. I do”
The warmth is too much eventually, and Yingxing sprawls away to the side. Dan Heng lays on his back, mind drowning as if drunk with the need to pull him close again. Yingxing is sound asleep. A low grumble escapes his mouth every now and then, and Dan Heng feels stupid, thinking about snoring fondly .
He’s an idiot.
He’s so, so in love with him.
It doesn’t change anything about their situation. This isn’t some venture in the past to change the future. Dan Heng doesn’t even know what caused the particular chain of events that led Yingxing to become Blade. And since when was that the main thing he would change? He would stop Yingxing from becoming Blade over being born in a prison? Over…whatever led to his banishment?
There’s the sick, dark thought that if he stopped Yingxing from becoming Blade, Yingxing would die. Yingxing would cease to exist in his time at all, and somehow that is infinitely worse.
“What happened to you?” Dan Heng whispers. The mara affliction is obvious, but how could a man like this suddenly want nothing but Dan Heng’s blood. “What did I do to you?” is the better question. Dan Heng knows he’s most likely responsible for Blade’s eternal life, and he feels…regret for not being there the entire time. For sentencing this man to an endless life. Alone.
Gao Bai was willing to live forever. Dan Heng doesn’t know if the same could be true for the man lying next to him.
It bothers him immensely. The thought spins and spins through his head, overshadowing things that should be more important. Shuhu and time travel? Minor issues apparently. His brain is definitely rotted through.
He’s turned on his side when Yingxing wakes after a couple of hours. The dark circles are still there above his cheekbones, and the haze of some lost dream still hangs from his eyelashes as he smiles. “Dan Heng.”
“Good afternoon.” Dan Heng looks downwards, knowing he was caught staring. “How’d you sleep?”
“Perfect.” Yingxing rubs his face into the pillow. “And you?”
“I meditated.”
“Meditated?” His voice is gruff and muted, face still buried. “That’s a habit you’ve kept up, huh?” Yingxing squirms a bit in place and turns back on his side. “Thank you for doing this. I haven’t slept well in… a while.”
“There’s no need to thank me.” Dan Heng thinks he owes him something, strangely. He watches as Yingxing touches a long strand of his hair, curious at the teal ends. His face falls serious, almost cross.
“I want to ask you something.”
Dan Heng watches each and every stroke of his hand. “You can.”
“In your new life…” Yingxing swallows. “...do you have someone like me?”
The word falls out too quickly, mind flashing to dark hair and red eyes. “Yes.”
His hand stills. Yingxing lips fall into a straight line, and Dan Heng wants to wipe the stillness away. Instead he asks his own question, the one that has been anchored in his mind all afternoon. “Would you wish to be there? Even if I’m not Dan Feng, would you—”
“You’re asking me if I’d live forever?” Yingxing leans on his elbow. “It took Dan Feng five years to ask me that.”
Dan Heng pushes back the new fact that he and Yingxing have been together for at least that amount of time. “And what did you tell him?”
Yingxing moves another piece of hair away from Dan Heng’s shoulder, letting it slowly fall between his fingertips. “I think I’d love every version of you. If I had the chance, why wouldn’t I want that?”
“It’s unforgivable.”
Yingxing nods. “A crime that would find you in the lowest depths of the Shackling Prison. In a way, I’m glad our roles aren’t reversed.”
“Roles?”
“I’m glad I’ll die first.” Yingxing is curt. “Who knows what heinous crime I’d commit otherwise. But I suppose it’s…good. I’m glad you have someone.” His hand falls to Dan Heng’s jawline, and the touch shoots straight through his core. “I hope you’re half as happy with him.”
“Only half?”
“Of course.” Yingxing smirks. “You still dream of me, don’t you?”
He doesn’t like where this conversation could possibly go, and the wires in his mind are crossing in a dangerous way knowing the person they’re speaking about is Blade. Dan Heng stays flat on the bed. “We should get up.”
“Oh”
“I still want to review your research, and Jing Yuan will be looking for me soon.”
“Does he know?” There’s a sharpness to Yingxing’s voice.
“Not unless you’ve told him.”
Yingxing looks offended at the mere suggestion and grunts as he sits up on the bed. “We can review my research, but I doubt it will yield anything. And we won’t seek help from the master diviner or the next in line Arbiter-General.” His eyes narrow. “It doesn’t leave a lot of options.”
It really doesn’t. Dan Heng feels his shoulders curve inwards. “You suggest we seek help?”
“No. I’m not suggesting that. The last thing we need is to put the Luofu on high alert that the High Elder is, in fact, still missing. What can you remember before you were brought here?”
Dan Heng pauses, more so to tease through what he thinks would be relevant but not revealing of his exile. “I was returning to the Luofu. Friends that I was traveling with for some time had arrived before me, and I was on my way to meet them.”
“That’s it?” Yingxing seems unconvinced. The v-neckline from his sleep clothes is looser now, the edges skimming far below his collarbone. Yingxing plays with the hem.
It takes another too-long second for Dan Heng to ignore that distraction and sift through that day. He had no intention of going to the Luofu. Mr. Yang, March, and Stelle failed to make contact with the Astral Express for some time, and he was appropriately worried. The Stellaron Hunters could not be trusted, despite the man lying next to him now.
Could it be because of one of them? Kafka supposedly was the one that deposited the Stellaron into Stelle. Did any of them have the capability to manipulate time like this?
“I was unable to contact my friends on the Luofu. The signal also seemed scrambled.”
“That’s strange.” Yingxing crosses his arms. “Unless the Luofu has declined over the coming centuries.”
“The Luofu…” Dan Heng crosses his legs and faces Yingxing completely. “...was infested by a Stellaron.”
“What?”
“It was why I returned earlier than expected. We received notice that someone brought a Stellaron onboard.”
Yingxing chews at his bottom lip. “How bad is it?”
“The impact of the Stellaron can still be contained assuming…” Dan Heng pauses. “You see why I also want to go back, don’t you?”
“So it’s most likely the Stellaron had some part in your time travel.” Yingxing crawls over the edge of the bed and walks over to the tea table, sorting through the pile of notes before finding one of particular interest. “There’s a few papers that talk about Stellarons but it’s all mostly hypothetical. They’re tied to a Path, correct?”
Dan Heng nods. “Or Aeon.”
“Like Yaoshi.”
Many of the Stellarons Dan Heng confronted were most likely the result of Nanook, but there’s nothing to suggest that any Aeon couldn’t harness their power or use them for their own will. “You think…you think a follower of Yaoshi used the Stellaron to send me here?”
“It holds enough power to destroy the ship, wouldn’t it? The last thing they’d want is for the High Elder to stop their plans.”
Perhaps, though if that were the case, they picked the wrong person. Dan Heng follows Yingxing’s trail of logic. “So to get Dan Feng back—”
“And you home,” Yingxing interrupts, legs pressed at the end of the bed, papers hanging loose in his hands.
“And me home, we’ll need to find a Stellaron.”
“Should be easy, huh? We both have so much experience finding Stellarons.” His voice is laced with sarcasm, and Dan Heng goes on his knees, weight digging into the soft mattress.
“I think we’ll manage.”
There are certain, very clear indicators of a Stellaron. The most obvious being environmental damage, not unlike Jarilo VI. The Stellaron’s cancer was in effect for a while on that particular planet, causing Jarilo VI’s future to be still too close to call. But there are less extreme situations Dan Heng has become familiar with through his time on the Astral Express. Sudden extreme temperature changes. Earthquakes. Tsunamis. Just sheer unrest.
He never actually sought one out, however. His job is mostly restricted to fighting and indexing—a combination of skills he possesses in spades. Himeko and Mr. Yang have more experience in the actual finding.
Yingxing leaves him alone to brainstorm, taking the opportunity to move towards the back of his chambers and the attached private bathroom. There’s more rustling and the clear sounds of a bath being run, and once again, Dan Heng is reminded that Yingxing is more familiar with the Imbibitor Lunae’s chambers than he is. He’s grateful that Yingxing is calm, that he has come to accept Dan Heng as much as possible, perhaps even more than Dan Heng has fully. But he can’t afford to delve into that much deeper right now. Not when he’s distracted enough by the clear stream of the faucet.
He needs to go home. The Luofu is threatened. His friends are threatened, and if his place of birth is any indicator, this time is not all halcyon nights and reposing days.
He needs to go home. He needs to find a Stellaron, but even after they find one, what could they possibly do with it?
Jing Yuan’s questioning in the Shackling Prison ricochets in him. If any being could control or carry a Stellaron, it would be an Emanator, and supposedly Shuhu is orbiting around the Luofu. It’s almost too coincidental; Emanator’s are not often easy to locate, and he’s excited to bring this brief bit of focus to Yingxing when he comes back into the main room, hair wet and sticking messily to his face.
His jacket is not tied correctly at the collar, and Dan Heng fights the urge to correct it. “If we do find a Stellaron, we’ll need someone powerful enough to harness its power.”
Yingxing pushes the hair from his face, drops of water shining and making it look almost silver, like the edges of a dying star. “Is that not you?”
“Funny.”
“It’s not really a joke.” Yingxing cocks his head to the side. “You seem to know a lot about Stellarons.”
“You’ve gathered that from my one statement?”
“Yes.” Yingxing has no qualms about sitting back on the bed, wet hair dripping. Dan Heng still doesn’t move away. “Any information is surprising. I don’t expect it comes up in the daily workings of the High Elder.”
“Which you must know well.”
“I do, you know. I’ve seen it play out for years.” Yingxing leans back on his hands, shoulders tight as if he’s attempting to hold back his words. But if that is the case, he fails. “Why were you off the Luofu?”
Dan Heng shifts, pretending that he’s avoiding the wet drips on the bed. “That’s not important now.”
“It’s just strange. You’re young, aren’t you? Dan Feng said that he was constantly under the tutelage of the Preceptors even still at your age. And by tutelage I mean guard.”
Guard? Dan Heng did have that, but certainly not in the way Yingxing implied. “Is that why you had them stationed outside my door?”
“Dan Heng.”
“It’s…not important like I said, Yingxing.”
“You just know everything about my life, don’t you? Seems a little unfair.” Yingxing falls back. His hair would be a tangled, matted mess by how deep he seemed to be lying. “Is it so terrible of me to make sure you’re okay? That you’re happy where–whenever you're from?”
That punches through him, shifts his breathing and chest in a way that unsteadies him. How do you tell someone that he is happy, but it has nothing to do with them? That he was actually the cause of so much fear and hurt and desperation?
“Yingxing.”
The man doesn’t really turn from his position on the bed, but he makes a low hum, not dissimilar to a cat.
Dan Heng leans over him instead. His blue eyes are closed, and Dan Heng traces the small, shallow lines at his temples. “You and Dan Feng were fighting before I came?”
His eyes flash open. “I think we’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Is it so terrible to make sure you’re okay?” He echoes back. What was it about?”
“Tell me why you were off the Luofu.” Yingxing brings his body up, leaning on his elbows so that he’s only a small, small distance away from Dan Heng. “And I’ll tell you."
Dan Heng hesitates. It seems there's little he could do to completely avoid it. “I’ll tell you, but no further questions.”
“Same here. Deal.”
“I don’t live on the Luofu.” And Dan Heng can feel Yingxing’s sudden exhale, the warm breath hitting his nose. He’s shocked, and his lips quiver in front of him, worry and confusion invading his normal confident expression. But to his credit, he remains silent, and Dan Heng gives him clearance to speak again. “Your turn.”
“Dan Feng asked if I wanted to reveal our relationship. He wanted to tell the entirety of the Luofu.”
Oh. Dan Heng absorbs the words, what his prior incarnation had wanted and what must have...“And you said no?”
Yingxing doesn’t respond. He closes his eyes again and tries to steady his breathing, as if he didn't hear him at all.
“Why is that—”
“No further questions,” Yingxing interrupts, voice curt, hollow, and Dan Heng thinks they should have kept their conversation limited to Stellarons and nothing more.