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When Yoongi was 4, he had been told that he and Hoseok, who was 2 years old at the time, were going to have two new brothers. Yoongi doesn't remember every detail of the conversation that day, but he does remember trying and struggling to wrap his brain around the idea that there would be two of the same babies in their house.
Yoongi had seen twins once in daycare. There had been two girls dressed in the same pink outfits with the same hairstyle holding hands, and Yoongi had stared in awe before being told that he should go over and talk to them rather than staring at them. But Yoongi had been a bit spooked about seeing two of the same people in one place.
He hadn't said much else about them and tried his best to avoid them that day until the car ride home, when his curiosity spilled over. Of course, Daddy had been there to catch it and answer all of Yoongi's loosely structured questions.
Daddy, there's two girls?
Yeah, baby. Did you get to talk to them?
'M scared.
Were you scared because they're girls?
No
Was it because they looked the same?
Yeah daddy! Two girls!
I know, baby, they're called twins...
Daddy had explained the concept of twins in vocabulary Yoongi could understand, but even still, he couldn't shake the fear in his stomach about the new babies.
———
Yoongi had just turned 5 years old the day he met the twins. He remembers the panic and fear of finally having to see the new babies and the way his tears forced their way out despite how hard he tried to hold them back. He remembers the way Daddy had grabbed a hold of him as he'd tried to run away, screaming and kicking and fighting harder than ever to escape. He remembers struggling to breathe and feeling like his chest was going to explode any second.
Appa had eventually decided to put the babies up in the nursery after realizing that Yoongi was genuinely terrified of them. Daddy held him tight, rocking him and telling him that there was nothing to be afraid of.
Yoongi had felt a lot of new, big, and scary feelings, including embarrassment, for the first time that day, and it had taken a lot out of him. He remembers not being asleep but being too exhausted and embarrassed to sit up and appear awake when Appa returned back to the two of them, taking a seat next to where Daddy was holding him.
"I didn't think he would have a meltdown over the twins, Joon. Didn't you say you talked to him about it?" Appa had asked, his voice spilling over with concern, soothing Yoongi further with a hand up and down his back and a kiss to the back of his head.
"I did! Of course I did, baby. I don't know what happened there; I've never seen him so upset. I think that was a full-blown panic attack."
Yoongi didn't understand half of what they were saying, but he was lulled to sleep by the gentle, caring hands and the soft rumble of their voices surrounding him.
————
Eventually, Yoongi slowly warmed up to the twins.
The first time, Yoongi had gotten up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night when he noticed the light was on in the nursery on his way back to his room. With a sinking feeling in his chest, Yoongi squeezed his fists tightly and convinced himself to peak into the room as his curiosity got the best of him.
Tentatively peaking around the doorway, Yoongi could see Appa in the rocking chair with one of the babies snuggled in his arms, drinking a bottle. Appa looked happy, smiling gently at the baby as he hummed a familiar tune that soothed the pounding of Yoongi's heart where he sat, watching intently.
Yoongi gasped, quickly ducking behind the door frame when Appa glanced over in his direction, unaware of the fact that he'd already been spotted.
When Yoongi peaked around again, Appa was still rocking the baby, but now Yoongi could clearly see its face, and despite his remaining fear, Yoongi couldn't help but think that the baby was possibly the cutest thing he'd seen since Hoseok.
He could see the baby's round, plump face and puffy little eyes as it drank from the bottle, one tiny hand holding Appa's finger.
Yoongi wondered which baby it was as he recalled the names Daddy and Appa had told him about. Taehyung and Jimin.
Before Yoongi knew it, he was sleeping soundly in front of the nursery, where he'd still been watching Appa care for the twins. Maybe they weren't so scary after all, he'd thought the next morning when he woke up in his own bed.
———-
Each night after that, Yoongi would stop by the nursery door to watch Appa, and sometimes Daddy, care for the twins at night.
One night, when Yoongi was just about to settle in his spot, he'd heard something that frightened him, making him stop in his tracks with his heart pounding.
"Yoongi, baby, come here."
It was Daddy's big voice. Yoongi had been caught, but before he could take off, running back to his room, Daddy was already in front of him, holding both of his small hands, crouched down to his level.
"Daddy needs your help with the babies. Come on." He'd said it gently, coaxing but leaving no room for debate. Yoongi could only nod and hold tight to Daddy's hand as he was led over to one of the cribs.
"Go ahead and wake Taehyungie up while I get Jiminie up. Be gentle and kind, remember?" And there was Daddy with that voice again—the one that Yoongi knew he couldn't argue with or disobey.
"Okie," Yoongi answered quietly, taking a step closer to the crib to see the baby up close, and much to Yoongi's surprise, this baby looked a lot different than the other. Taehyung's little face wasn't as rounded and plump as Jiminie's, yet he was still just as adorable.
Yoongi snuck a glance at Daddy, watching as he slowly lifted the baby out of the crib, kissing his small forehead and quietly telling him to wake up. Yoongi could do that, he thought as he squeezed his fists tightly to let go of some of his nervousness.
Yoongi reached in, hands shaking as he lifted Taehyungies bundled body out of the crib and held him close, suddenly becoming nervous of dropping him.
"Daddy!" He called in a whisper-yell, panic clear in his voice as his eyes caught Daddy's.
"That's great, Yoongi! Hold his bottom and his back, and don't walk until you're ready." Daddy gently coached, keeping his voice calm and level.
Yoongi did as told, despite the tears welling up in his eyes and finally spilling over when he felt the little bundle wiggling in his hold.
The first tiny cry from Taehyung had Yoongi panicking and quickly placing him back into the crib, crouching to the floor in a small heap of cries and sobs.
Appa arrives moments later, scooping Yoongi into his arms and lulling him down with praises of how brave and good he was.
———-
As time goes on, Yoongi gets more comfortable with the sight and presence of the babies, and he occasionally even lays on the floor with them during tummy time. So what if he's always a few feet away from them? Appa and Daddy don't make him hold the babies anymore, which makes Yoongi feel a bit of relief. He's getting better at being close to them, but he still has moments of panic.
He's shaking some toys in front of the babies as they practice scooting across the floor when he watches in disgust as a string of drool makes its way from Jimin's mouth to the play mat. Yoongi can't tear his eyes away until he feels a wet sensation on his arm.
Yoongi's heart skips a beat as he looks over, only to see that Taehyung had managed to make it over to him and grab a hold of his arm with his small, spitty hand, and in a moment of panic, Yoongi screeches, scrambling away from the babies.
There's a moment of silence, and then both babies are screaming and crying, further adding to Yoongi's panic. Yoongi feels embarrassment once again as he watches Appa rush in and try to console the babies with 3-year-old Hoseok in tow, eyes wide as he nurses his pacifier and assesses the situation.
"What happened here?" Appa asks, trying to divide his attention between the two upset babies, and Yoongi's embarrassment increases as he watches his little brother clumsily remove his own paci, putting it into Jiminie's mouth and patting the baby's back, effectively calming him down. Even Hoseok is braver than him, he thinks, as a weird lump bubbles in his chest and his face heats up.
Yoongi runs to his room in shame as his tears spill down his face. And moments later, when he's hiding under his covers, trying to make his brain stop thinking about what just happened, he hears his door creak open further. He thinks it might be appa until he hears the small footsteps and peaks out to see Hoseok's little feet standing at his bedside.
Yoongi emerges, knowing that Hoseok will stand there for hours if he lets him. He wipes away some of his tears and sniffles as he struggles to help Hoseok into his bed.
Yoongi holds Hoseok in his lap as best he can—he wouldn't admit it, but he's not much bigger than Hoseok himself—hugging him close and crying into his little head of hair. He misses when it was just the two of them and Appa and Daddy—before he had to feel all these big, scary feelings.
Hoseok fidgets in his hold a bit, then manages to turn around, facing Yoongi, and offers him his pacifier, much like he'd done with Jimin before. Yoongi accepts it, crying more as he squeezes Hoseok tighter, and Hoseok is there with his little hands, rubbing at Yoongi's warm cheeks to get rid of his tears until they stop falling.
———-
Later that night, Yoongi has a meltdown and tantrum when Appa and Daddy try to get him to talk about the babies. He screams and cries, kicks his feet, throws some things, and lets the world know that he hates the babies and he hates Appa and Daddy for bringing the babies. Appa and Daddy let him get it all out, and then they run him a warm bubble bath, and dress him in his favorite pajamas, and let him sleep in between them with one of Hoseok's pacifiers.
The next day, Daddy makes sure to gently tell Yoongi what was wrong with his behavior as he helps him pick up his things and put his room back together. He also tells him that everything he's feeling is okay and that he's proud of him for telling them the truth and expressing how he feels in the best way he knows how.
Yoongi then feels another new, big emotion that makes him cry and hug Daddy tight, and he wishes he hadn't said all those mean things. Daddy tells him about guilt and helps him apologize to Appa, then to the twins, and then Yoongi apologizes to Daddy.
Eventually, they get to the bottom of some of the things that make Yoongi panic around the babies and do all they can to make Yoongi feel comfortable and safe holding them. They try to prevent the babies from drooling on him and his belongings, teach Yoongi when to expect the twins to cry and how to handle it if he's alone—that rarely happens again; Yoongi being left alone with them—and encourage Yoongi to get close to them once they're down for a nap or bedtime, when they won't be "all wiggly," as Yoongi had described their fidgeting.
Despite their efforts, it isn't until the twins turn 2 and have a tiny bit of a concept of Yoongi's boundaries that they walk in on 6-year-old Yoongi seated on the floor with both twins piled in his lap and Hoseok draped across his back as they all stare intently into the television at the cartoon softly playing.
Hoseok and Yoongi's full attention is on the cartoon, but it's clear that the twins are aware that this isn't a usual situation. Jiminie is snuggled close to Yoongi's chest, stuck between wanting to watch the show and wanting to burrow his face into Yoongi in the cat-like way he always does. He's always been a physically affectionate baby, preferring to be held and in contact with someone else every waking second.
Taehyung, on the other hand, is a bit more of a free spirit. Some days he can be more clingy than Minnie, and other days Seokjin has to fight and pin him down just to brush his hair. Somewhere in the far dark corner of Seokjin's worried mind, he wonders if Tae is this way because of Yoongi's reactivity towards the twins during very crucial times of early development.
Despite being just 2 years old, Taehyung has always been a people reader. He'd picked up on the fact that Yoongi wasn't someone to ask for affection or attention from a lot sooner than Jiminie. He's seated on the floor, leaning his upper body over Yoongi's lap and staring dazedly up at Yoongi as he sucks his thumb and softly tugs on a piece of Yoongi's unruly hair, a clear giveaway that he's about ready for his nap.
Seokjin is in tears as he tells a misty-eyed Namjoon to get the camera. They manage to capture the moment, and although screen time should've been over long ago and is now cutting into nap times, Namjoon and Seokjin sit as quietly as they can in the doorway, savoring the sweet moment together; they just don't have the heart to interrupt the tender moment.
And even when it's dinner time and the house is in complete chaos because no one took a nap for the day, Seokjin still finds himself calm with happiness and love because he knows his babies are getting along. His cheeks hurt from the enamored smile that's been stuck in his face all afternoon.
And even when Namjoon is crying out for help because Jimin is crying in his ear and scrambling around, climbing him like a jungle gym as Tae mischievously tries to rub black bean paste onto his favorite purple pajama top, Seokjin's heart flutters happily as he watches the scene unfold. He smiles happily even as Hoseok stands on his chair, pointing to the fiasco and screaming "ewww" as loud as his little heart can, and laughs at Yoongi, who, despite having his hands up plugging his ears, nearly falls off of his chair from laughter.
Seokjin watches on from the doorway, ready to swoop in and save or catch any one of his clumsy babies, Namjoon included. He can't even tear his star-filled eyes away long enough to grab the camera, but it doesn't matter. The memory is, and always will be, enough.