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whenever you’re lonely

Summary:

shihosaki week day 5: comfort

“ The sun was up and shining bright, it looked like a gorgeous day! She should take it all in outside. Except she has no desire to get out of bed. No desire to be productive at the moment. Which, clearly, is odd coming from a girl like her. She would be all out and about even if she just woke up, unfortunately that was not the case this day. That weird feeling remained, still trying hard to pay no mind to it, but the harder she tries, the more difficult it becomes to ignore.

What could this feeling be?

And why does it not want to go away? “

saki begins to remember feelings she’s repressed laying down in her own room . it’s uncomfortable and she needs someone to help take it away .

Notes:

i am self projecting i had frequent doctor/hospital visits because of my physical condition and doing absolutely nothing but laying down alone really just brings back the feeling of being in a hospital . from the doing absolutely nothing but laying down to the quiet to the loneliness to how uncomfortable i constantly felt , it is not a fun experience

aaaaanyway i am done ranting about it please enjoy !!!!

Work Text:

7:14 am

Saki slowly opens her eyes along with a little yawn after having a nice sleep. A little rare occurrence that she woke up before her brother, who tends to be her morning alarm clock. She woke up fairly early than everyone else. It felt kind of weird, but Saki tried to brush it off that it was really nothing.

The sun was up and shining bright, it looked like a gorgeous day! She should take it all in outside. Except she has no desire to get out of bed. No desire to be productive at the moment. Which, clearly, is odd coming from a girl like her. She would be all out and about even if she just woke up, unfortunately that was not the case this day. That weird feeling remained, still trying hard to pay no mind to it, but the harder she tries, the more difficult it becomes to ignore.

What could this feeling be?

And why does it not want to go away?

It felt like Saki had no choice but to think about what it could be, even if it meant digging deep in the depths of her memory to find out the cause of this peculiar sensation. Yet, she couldn’t decipher a thing. She should know, but she must’ve forgotten it. That, or nothing is wrong at all and it’s all just something that’ll go away on its own. She’ll be able to go on and about eventually. Maybe she should just get more sleep.

Except now she couldn’t sleep.

Not just because she is already awake and doesn’t feel like forcing herself to sleep again, but the weirdness keeps eating at her. It felt uncomfortable no matter how she tried to sleep. The weirdness was practically begging to release now. But how can she if she doesn’t know where it came from?!

She sits on her bed, staring at something but also nothing. Her room starts to feel less bright and it fades to gray. She clutches on her gut. It hurts. She looked all over her room, it only looked dull no matter where she looked. It begins to send her to a panic but she prevents the panic from taking over. She would feel like a total idiot to be freaking out over potentially nothing. It only hurts more. Now the pain entering by a huge lump in her throat. Her body feels out of control, but she can’t move. She felt like she was trapped, with nowhere else to go, so she sat/laid down all day.

And that’s when it hit her.

The tears she tried to fight off won the battle and began to stream down out of her eyes.

She started believing her bedroom felt like a hospital room.

Of course it wasn’t and she knew it, but at this moment it really doesn’t feel like she’s in her bedroom.

How could her own bedroom figuratively become a hospital just like that?!

Well, when she’s been there for so so long then perhaps the feeling comes back not matter where she is.

But that was so long ago! Why would this repressed memory come back?!

And why would it come back now?!

Maybe it wasn’t the room that felt like one, but the loneliness that reverts back to those times.

She didn’t want to be alone, but she didn’t want to alert anyone at home. Her phone was next to her, but felt too trapped to grab it. She did end up grabbing it at some point but it took her longer than it should’ve, considering that she took small scooches over to it. She tries thinking of anyone who could be awake at this early hour.

Shiho.

She tends to be the one to wake up earlier, right?

Her hands impulsively clicked onto Shiho’s contact before contemplating any sort of plan. At this point she was hoping that she’d pick up, continuously whispering “Please…” as the phone repeatedly dialed. Until it was cut off by silence.

“Hello?” Shiho answered, expecting to get a bright and cheerful reply back…however…

“Shiho-chan?!” she did not expect to hear a frantic sobbing voice from the other line.

( shiho concerned mode: ON )

“Saki?! Are you okay?! What happened?!”

“Shiho-chan.” she sniffles, “Shiho-chan can you come here? Please? PLEASE?!”

“Okay okay! I’ll head over! Just stay on the phone until i get there, okay?”

Another sniffle, “Okay…”

Shiho leaves her room to knock on her sister’s room door, telling her she’ll be at Saki’s because the girl really needs something. Shizuku accepts, of course not without a hug first, which Shiho pulls away quickly and runs out the door. Saki is too much in desperate need of help than anything else going on in Shiho’s life right now.

The call throughout the way consisted of Shiho reassuring Saki that she’ll be okay and that she’ll be there soon. It only stopped the moment Shiho entered the room, where she hung up the phone and ran over to a trembling Saki.

“Hey hey hey hey… I’m here now there’s no need to feel lonely.” Shiho continued to reassure while also softly grabbing a hold of her hands as well as a fairly long kiss on her forehead.

“I don’t wanna think about it anymore. I don’t wanna go back there.” Saki sobs, “Why does this have to happen to me?!”

“I’m so sorry. I know it must be hard to not get over things like this, but I’m right here. You know how concerned I get for you when you aren’t yourself. Please don’t hesitate to turn to me. I’m worried about you, Saki.”

Without thinking, Saki tightly wrapped her arms around Shiho, not giving it a second guess whether she wanted that or not. Which it seemed like she did since Shiho hugged back, as well as softly playing with her hair, and repeating the words “It’s gonna be okay” just below a whisper.

After what felt like a while, the sensation went away and Saki fell back asleep. Must’ve been because Shiho was too warm and comfy to let go. She didn’t mind though, as long as Saki was safe. She kissed her forehead one last time before drifting off to sleep with her. They both peacefully slept for some time until their eyes shot open because of a certain brother had woken up.

“OHAYŌGOZAIMAAAAAASSSSSUU!!!!!!”