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Bury Me, Bury Me

Summary:

Chris goes back up to look for Josh's body, planning to make a grave for his lost friend before ending his own life. When Josh himself shows up, plans change.

Heavily inspired by The Kill by Thirty Seconds To Mars

Apologies for all the typos, I wrote it while sleep-deprived and don't wanna edit it-

Work Text:

With a sigh, Chris stepped into the all too familiar ski lift. The 'prank' was only 6 months ago, and Chris just couldn't keep himself away.

He couldn't forget about he had abandoned his best friend up on that godforsaken mountain. He abandoned Josh. He abandoned his... his love. He had never admitted it to Josh whike he was alive, hell, Chris didn't even admit it to himself for a while. Chris didn't admit it to himself until it was far too late. Chris only realized a couple months ago when he finally started seeing Ash. He realized he wasn't really attracted to her, he didn't even know why he thought he had been. At least, he didn't know at first.

It was probably the pressure from Josh. That whenever Chris even remotely glanced at Ash, Josh would make some sort of comment. That feeling Chris got whenever Josh teased him... Was it really directed at Ashley? Looking back, it sure didn't seem like it. As Chris thought about it more, he could only think of Josh, of how Josh made him feek then. Not Ashley. And just like that, the realization hit him. The man he had left to die up on that mountain was the person he truly loved. Not Ash. The feeling hit him like a truck.

He had to come back. He couldn't leave Josh like this. Even if Josh was dead, his body was never found and his folks never gave him a proper burial. Hell, Chris wasn't even invited to the small mock funeral they held for Josh. His own best friend, and he wasn't invited. He needed to make amends to Josh, but he could only think of one way how. Killing himself. Maybe then he could be with Josh again. If fucking wendigo monsters were real, maybe the afterlife was too, and if it was maybe they could be together again. Not that he deserved to be with Josh again. He abandoned him up here, alone on a mountain with man-eating monsters.

Chris felt the familiar lurch as the lift halted at the top of the mountain. Chris glanced at his phone as he picked up his stuff, seeing a few dozen texts from Sam. All Chris had texted her before heading up the mountain was 'Goodbye Sam' so her concern was warranted. Sam was the only person Chris had confided his feelings for Josh with. The only person who had seen Chris completely break down over Josh's death. The others didn't seen to even acknowledge it, as if they thought Josh deserved it. Sam reassured Chris it wasn't his fault, but repeated words wore off after a time. Chris put his phone back in his bag without acknowledging Sam's texts. He didn't want to give her false hopes. With that, he began the ascent towards the Washington family lodge. Well, the ashes that now lay where it once stood.

The cold air and slight snow nipped at the exposed skin on Chris' face, but that didn't slow him much. He had a goal, and he would complete it. A sharp pain shot through his ankle, despite it already having healed from those dreadful events 6 months prior. Chris shook the snow from his eyes as he pushed onwards, ignoring the pain as he continued towards the end of his mission. He had brought a wooden stake in his bag, Josh's name already carved into it. He didn't know where he was going to put it yet. Maybe in the woods near the lodge. Not too far, not too close. Images of the night flashed through Chris' mind. Especially Ash's anger when Chris tried to save Josh over her. She never forgave him for that. How his love for Josh disn't occur to him then was a wonder.

Then in the distance, Chris saw it. The pile of burned wood and ash. It was massive, dusted in snow and some of the wood was rotting. Chris shivered at the sight, reminded of the fire he and his former friends had set ablaze. Admittedly, everyone sort of drifted apart after the prank, except Chris, Ash, and Sam. Now it would be just Ash and Sam, huh? The thought made Chris frown, but he continued forward through the snow, ignoring the cold shivers running down his spine. He felt like he was being watched, but they killed all the wendigos. Right?

Chris headed into the woods, towards the direction Hannah and Beth had run off in. Josh should be able to rest with his sisters. Chris felt a pang of guilt, remembering that night. Henwishednhe had never participated. He thought it was a stupid idea, but he didn't want to be a stick in the mud. If he hadn't participated, if he hadn't let Josh get drunk, would everyone still be alive and together? Chris tried to push the the thoughts away as he kneeled down in the snow. He cleared snow aside so he could get to the dirt. He took his back pack off, pulling the large stake from his bag. He began plunging the stake into the ground with a struggle. The ground was hard from the cold, but he didn't give up despite the snow nipping at his fingers and the splinters digging into his skin. Once he thought it was in deep enough, he packed dirt and snow around the base, finally sitting down fully in front of the makeshift grave marker.

"I'm sorry Josh. I'm sorry I abandoned you." Chris finally felt tears well up in his eyes, pricking against his tearducts from the cold. He couldn't stop them as they began spilling out over his cheeks. He collapsed down onto his knees and elbows in front of the marker, shaky sobs escaping him. "I never even got to tell you... I didn't know till now. I'm sorry. If you can hear me somewhere out there, I'm sorry." Chris' words were slightly muffled through his sobs, nails digging into his own skin as he balled his fists. Chris sat back up shakily, pulling a swiss army knife from his bag. It was the onky knife he really had that he coukd pack with him. He switched out the blade, holding the cold metal to his wrist. He began to cut cut down, droplets of blood pooling down as he dragged the blade. Before he coukd get very far, he heard a growl from behind him. He jumped slightly in fear, head whipping around. He had suspected a wendigo but not what he saw.

Josh.

Josh?

Chris' slicing paused in confusion, blood dripping into the previously pristine white snow. It looked like Josh but his hair was a mess, he had sharp teeth sticking out one side of his mouth, odd skin in places that resembled a wendigo's, and sharp claws on his hands.

"Josh?" Chris spoke shakily and the creature that resembled his best friend creeped closer. "Is it really you?" It paused. It's mouth opened before closing again. He tried again.

"Sure is." It was Josh's voice. Gritty and scratchy from disuse but it was his. Chris' tears couldn't stop streaming down his face.

"No fucking way. You're... You're alive?" Chris could hardly believe his eyes. A small grin spread on Josh's face.

"Sure am cochise." Josh's slightly eeries eyes flicked down to Chris's arm, the grin quickly falling from his face. "Chris, whag are you doing?" He moved forward and carefully grabbed Christ's arm; taking care not to hurt him with his claws.

"I wanted to join you." Chris muttered, knowing exactly what his words implied. Josh looked shocked, an odd beastly growl leaving his lips. Chris winced at the sound, but didn't back away.

"Why the hell would you do that Chris? Don't hurt yourself, asshole." Josh's tone was slightly harsh, but he clearly cared about Chris through his words. Despite his kind tone, Josh seemed very interested in Chris' blood

"Are you a wendigo?" Chris asked, unable to hold back his questions. Josh chuckled slightly.

"I guess you could say that. Not like the others though. I still have control over myself. Mostly. Sometimes hunger wins out." Josh explained, his eyes darting down to Chris' blood again. Chris felt his heart near explode. He didn't know how to make up for abandoning Josh up here, but now he had an idea.

"Josh, eat me." There was a long silence.

"What the fuck bro? What do you mean Chris?"

"I left you up here. I abandoned you. The others wouldn't let me search for you man. You must be starving. Please, eat me." Chris didn't know how else to make things up to Josh, hell, he didn't think it was possible. He wanted to tell Josh so much. He wanted to tell Josh that he loved him. It wasn't the time, but if not now, when? Josh hesitantly looked down at Chris' arm again. He was hungry. He didn't want to eat Chris though. He looked back at Chris before pulling Chris' arm towards him. He began licking the blood off, letting out a feral growl as he ate. He didn't bite down though.

"Josh, I have to tell you something." Josh paused, but Chris gestured him to keep going. Josh's sharp teeth graze Chris' flesh, spilling more blood into his mouth. "I realized I don't think I ever really loved Ashley. I was in love with someone else." Chris paused to wince in slight pain. "You." Josh paused immediately, lifting his head from Chris' arm. Chris couldn't help but feel happy seeing his blood smeared across Josh's face.

"You being serious Chris?" Josh was clearly bewildered.

"I wouldn't joke about this man." Chris said, a small smile on his face. "I want to give my life to you. Eat me. I'll then be with you forever, even if you don't feel the same way I do." Chris' face was happy, with a mix of melancholy. Josh was surprised. Rather than returning to Chris' arm, he leaned forward quickly, accidentally knocking Chris down into the snow. Josh quickly pressed his lips to Chris', an animalistic growl leaving him as he smeared Chris' own blood between their mouths. Chris was surprised, but ecstatic. The taste of blood was on both their mouths as they stayed together, clinging to each other like one would dissappear if they stopped.

They seperated, with Josh staring down at Chris. He leaned back forward, licking Chris' blood off of his face.

"I love you too idiot." Josh whispered with a grin.