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«There must be something I can do in return for you»
Crowley was sitting on his bed, mulling over that sentence. He really didn't want a reward for saving his books, but the more he thought about it, the more details of that moment came to mind. His hands firm on the steering wheel, almost nervous, Aziraphale's sweet smile; and perhaps he thought he saw out of the corner of his eye the angel's gaze on his tense lips. He must have been wrong, he must have misunderstood. If he could actually ask, there was one thing he wanted, but he wouldn’t dare. He was afraid of ruining their friendship and rather than losing the only person he cared about, maybe it was better to keep his secrets, even at the risk of regretting it one day discovering - he hoped - that in reality he had always been reciprocated and his hesitation had it just made them waste a lot of time, even though they had an eternity ahead of them. Eternity was so boring and lonely without him and only by his side he knew he could live it fully. In front of the angel's bookshop, the Bentley already parked, Aziraphale was opening the car door to get out. Crowley had thought about it so much throughout that silent journey… there was one thing he could do, after all. He would have asked him: «Can I kiss you?»
Aziraphale would have widened his eyes, confused, surprised, maybe a little happy, his eyes as bright as the stars he had created so many centuries ago.
He would have mumbled an incomprehensible response, one step on the pavement, the other on the asphalt. He would avoid his gaze to hide the blush flaring on his cheeks, as if Crowley might not see it. Before entering the bookshop, Aziraphale would have leaned out of the window in his car and with his eyes closed, almost scared but with an electric shock from the tips of his toes to the tips of his hair, he would have left a fleeting kiss on Crowley’s lips which perhaps he immediately regretted because when they broke away the angel put his hand to his mouth. It would have been closed-mouth kiss, without saliva, without movements, just the pressure of their lips, a new point of contact between their bodies, different from the delicate pats that Aziraphale sometimes reserved for Crowley, sometimes to encourage him to move, sometimes to make him feel a friendly presence when needed. It was something completely new. When they locked eyes, Aziraphale's were bright, a shy smile on his lips, the kindest expression he had ever seen and he could only smile back knowing that it was reserved only for him. Luckily his dark glasses hid his gaze, narrowed into a blissful smile, his angular features loosen and resembled those of the man in front of him. Without breaking eye contact Crowley applied the handbrake and opened the door, forcing Aziraphale to step back. He closed it carefully despite being caught up in the moment and taking the angel by the collar he kissed him again. It felt just like the first permission to enter his library, and now that he had been invited to meet him again thanks to that first kiss he wanted to be able to read every word that his angel had written on his heart. Aziraphale let himself be carried away, putting a hand on his hips to bring him closer, while Crowley held his face in his hands to make sure he didn't miss, gradually moving them through his hair to better control the kiss. After all these years of bottled up feelings, freed almost by chance by a simple kiss, he would have preferred not to have to hold back, but he certainly understood that his angel was not used to these practices and rushing him was not his intention. If this was the premise he would surely have what he had craved for so long now that he finally knew that his love was requited. However, although he wanted to control himself so as not to upset Aziraphale too much, certainly now that he was in the game he wanted to play, and so he interrupted the tender, almost virginal kiss that they had exchanged by slightly opening his mouth with a pop, sticking out his forked tongue, first caressing the closed lips of the other and when access was granted to him even his teeth and finally touching his tongue with almost uncontrollable nervous outbursts. He was focusing so hard that he had stopped moving his hands. He didn't dare get under his face, the closest he got was to put his hands on his shoulders, pushing him slightly, making a light but extremely communicative pressure, because through the thick fabrics of his clothes Aziraphale could feel Crowley's trembling hands almost sinking. It was at that moment that with a snap of his fingers Aziraphale opened the door of his library and when Crowley noticed it out of the corner of his eye he grabbed the angel again by the collar and still kissing him and being careful not to trip over anything he accompanied him inside. The first obstacle they encountered was a shelf full of books that Aziraphale had recently placed and considering the situation they decided not to go around the obstacle but stopped there, Aziraphale with his back to the bookshelf with Crowley's hands still on him, feverish to find out what was hidden under those heavy clothes. Crowley kissed him again, taking off his jacket, then untied his bow tie and from there he moved his lips to his cheeks, savoring their softness, going down to his jaw and as he unbuttoned his shirt and waistcoat he came to kiss his neck, making a light pressure with the teeth on the jugular, feeling the blood pulsate against his teeth and tongue. When Aziraphale let out a soft and unexpected moan they were both surprised. Something made its way into Crowley's mind that perhaps excited him more than simple desire. Perhaps he wanted to undermine Aziraphale's modest composure, who knows what an angel could say without sounding blasphemous.
It would have been yet another temptation from Crowley that Aziraphale couldn't - and didn't want to – resist. Crowley placed a kiss in the crook of his neck and as long as the situation was not excessively sinful the angel actually didn't hold back, he mumbled something about a certain God who is always watching but was absolutely not preventing anything.
However, when he felt Crowley's wet teeth squeezing his nipple while his tongue licked it he recovered a little and with a quick but uncertain gesture he pushed him away to look him in the eyes. «What are you doing?!» the angel asked, dumbfounded.
He had watery eyes, as if it was a hard time for him too to stop, and Crowley read it as if it were a book he knew by heart, then he just smiled and pushed his head against the angel's hands continuing to kiss and bite his chest, his eyes closed for the concern.
Aziraphale's opposition was timid, it was a hand on his shoulder that barely had the strength to push him away, a moan held between his lips so as not to be heard, a few broken words that asked him with poorly concealed excitement to stop. Crowley liked to linger, to waste time, to slow down, to not really give Aziraphale what he wanted without him asking first. He wanted to hear it from his lips, he wanted to be able to drink the quiet supplication of his angel like aged wine. And so he was in no hurry to escalate the situation, in fact the longer he waited, the more it exasperated him, and the more he felt the excitement growing. Crowley slided his hands between the angel’s clothes to be able to touch his back and with a squeeze bring Aziraphale's now exposed belly even more within reach of his mouth, while with his teeth he made small movements on his skin, feeling it quiver like leaves in the wind under his touch. With circular movements of his thumbs he caressed his sweet waist to calm him while he licked his belly, his navel and the hairs that started from it, causing small spasms similar to tickling if he was too close to the groin. He went down to kneel and looked for Aziraphale's gaze, and noticed with some satisfaction that in order not to be heard he had put a hand to his mouth and the tears he was holding back were stinging at the corners of his eyes.
He smiled at the spectacle that he himself had created by hearing the other's interrupted breathing in the silence of the library, he saw his belly following the movements of that heavy breathing, his old composed expression dissolved in two eyes that desperately asked for something more, although his moral rigor prevented him from doing so. Then Crowley removed his glasses to look at him better, pressing his left cheek against Aziraphale's erection. At that point the angel tried to push him away from that very sensitive area with one hand but actually with very little conviction.
All he could say was: «Maybe we should stop here.»
Crowly frowned and looked from Aziraphale's eyes - since from that angle he could only see them clearly - to what was throbbing against his face, intermediated only by that heavy fabric of the trousers.
«Sure?» Crowley asked a little lewdly, touching him with his fingers and getting a tremor from the other.
«Sure» his voice trembled.
Crowley closed his eyes slowly, then opened them again to look at him. He could clearly see the conflict that was raging in the angel's head at that moment. He just wanted to help him.
He kissed the erection «Will you let me help you?» Aziraphale widened his eyes almost in confusion, he couldn't imagine Crowley being so servile although in fact he had saved him so many times that this only denoted a lot of naivety and blindness on his part. How could he not actually realize that even though Crowley was a demon, he worshiped him?
The vision actually stirred something in him, but he still tried to remain firm in his beliefs, even if it was difficult not to allow himself to react to Crowley's warm lips touching him with so much kindness.
«I would rather not»
Crowley's expression darkened a little but he didn't lose heart, so he continued this time bringing a hand to his trousers which he had previously only lowered so he could lick as much as possible. With two fingers he unbuttoned the buttonhole, then removed the hook and when he pulled down the zip he could finally see something pulsating with obscene intensity through his underwear. He lowered the elastic and when he was finally able to put his lips on the skin he felt his trousers getting damp.
Aziraphale was contradicted by the fact that Crowley hadn't listened to him and was about to push him away when he felt the other's lips kiss the tip, again with an unexpected tenderness. At that point he had stopped resisting and the hand he was about to use to push him away ended up in Crowley's hair and without wanting to he used it to better accommodate his member in the other's mouth, while he felt the tongue pass along the entire length up to until the other's nose touched his belly. Satisfied with having managed to make Aziraphale give in, Crowley closed his eyes and with slow movements he could taste the angel's member and could enjoy his little almost inaudible noises when the tip came out of his mouth, caressing his tongue, so that he could feel the first hints of orgasm right in his taste buds.
Aziraphale's body trembled, barely holding onto the bookshelf while his other hand stroked Crowley's hair as he knelt there for him. When he felt that Aziraphale was close to coming, Crowley decided to take care of his own needs too and with the speed that he hadn't reserved for the angel, he opened his trousers and slid a hand towards his groin, then passed his fingers over the clitoris while feeling something inside of him ready to squirt all over his hand. He was surprised to feel how wet he was, his fingers slipped inside him with an embarrassing ease and he was already starting to feel his legs trembling as he pressed against the internal walls, managing to feel the orgasm almost flowing between his fingers. Crowley freed Aziraphale’s member from his mouth, leaving a trickle of saliva mixed with semen that still connected them. He finished with some rapid hand movements and Aziraphale came on his face, dirtying his hair, his face, almost entering his eyes and leaving traces on his dress, emitting the first and last moan that he could distinctly hear, without hands on his mouth, a sincere moan, so insistent that he couldn't hold it back in any way. At that point the angel apologized profusely, still panting from the orgasm, he was so sorry for perhaps having humiliated him, he believed.
But Crowley felt those words almost muffled because he was concentrated and close to coming too, and with his eyes full of still unquenched desire he fixed his gaze on him, his eyelids half closed, the smile of bliss of the saints ready to die for God.
«I'm sorry, I shouldn't have!» Aziraphale would finally chirp, repentant, shaken.
At that point Crowley would finally feel the orgasm flood his fingers, wetting his trousers and then the floor, splashing up to Aziraphale's feet, his legs trembling and still on his knees he would fall from exhaustion against Aziraphale's belly which would immediately pick him up again, and kiss him again, still with dirty fingers and lips.
Maybe he would have even told him "I love you" but he knew that in reality he was alone in his room, imagining something that would never happen, the only real thing he had in that moment were his shaking legs, the dirty sheets and his wet hand he had masturbated with.
Everything else was just his imagination