Chapter Text
“Baby ! Look at you, you’ve grown so much.” Nora exclaimed, examining Chandler and pausing at his lack of breast. “You’ve lost, hum.” She looked at Monica, Rachel, Ross and Phoebe who were watching the exchange.
“Weight ? Yeah, this stupid, took up smoking again and it absolutely kills his appetite. Even my baking can’t get through him !” Joey interrupted, effectively saving Chandler. Chandler looked to Joey, affronted although grateful.
“Now that’s not true, I make efforts when you bake. Wouldn’t want to miss out on your burnt muffins, would I ?” Chandler teased, letting himself fall into easy conversation with his lover.
“You’d better ! If you didn’t, I’d have to make you sleep on the couch.” Joey threatened lightheartedly, and inadvertently caught Nora’s attention.
She cleared her throat.
“You two… live together ?” She asked, slightly hectic at the idea.
“Yes, they have been roommates for years now!” Ross butted in. “Complete man-children these two with their foosball and cartoons. It is no wonder they never get the girl.” He continued, trying to bond with Nora. She gave a tight laugh, while Chandler and Joey shifted uncomfortably.
“Says my very much still single brother, huh Ross ?” Monica teased, sensing tension but not quite understanding it. They had all been told that Chandler hadn’t seen his mother in a few years, but not the reason for their fallout. Everyone had sort of assumed it was a consequence of her divorcing his now deceased father.
Nora turned her attention back to her son and lover. Ross faked a laugh and gave Monica a kick in the leg. A waiter in dress pants called them to a free table, much to Chandler’s relief. It was set in a private room, lit by a chandelier and candles. Nora swiftly slipped the waiter a twenty dollars bill while everyone got settled then sat down on Chandler’s right. Joey was on his left, and grabbed his hand underneath the table. With his free hand, Chandler opened his menu.
The waiter pocketed the money then spoke in a forced French accent.
“Would monsieurs and mesdames like to order, or would you like some time ?” He asked, way too enthusiastic.
Joey shook his head like the rest of the table, although Chandler raised his hand.
“Please, we’ll take your strongest wine.” He requested, trying to make this lunch slightly more bearable. Nora looked at him, perplexed.
“Monsieur, all of our wines have the same alcohol percentages. Would you like a bitter wine, perhaps ?” The waiter offered, incredulously. Ross and Monica stifled their mocking laughter. Sitting across them both, Rachel wrinkled her nose. Her sweet tooth was partial to fruity wines. Phoebe was staring at a painting of a man and a dog hunting, oblivious.
“Just get, uh. Get us a rosé Chateau Coussin and I’ll get a glass of whiskey,” Chandler replied hesitantly. Joey squeezed his hand and cleared his throat.
“Actually, two whiskeys please.” Chandler rectified. Much to Joey’s pleasure, who beamed. The waiter nodded then walked away with their order scribbled down on his notepad.
An awkward moment of silence passed. Tight smiles were exchanged, meanwhile Chandler was painfully clutching Joey’s hand.
“Is he going to shoot the dog ?” Phoebe asked, concerned for the painted dog she’d been fascinated with. She looked at Monica for answers. Monica winced and gave her friend a reassuring smile.
“Of course not, he’s going to make the dog track down prey. Rabbits, perhaps. Then, he’ll shoot the prey and eat it,” Nora filled in for Monica. This time, everyone cringed. Phoebe’s eyes filled with tears, very much disturbed by that answer. Rachel gently tried to shush her.
“That’s silly. He has a gun to protect the dog, duh. They’re not gonna kill anyone, or nobody would’ve painted them.” Joey butted in, comforting Phoebe. She nodded in understanding, drying her eyes. Chandler exhaled in relief and glared at his mother.
Being rude to him was one thing, making Phoebe cry was another entirely. Joey stroked Chandler’s hand and took an exaggerated deep breath. Chandler followed his lead, quietly. Thankfully it wasn’t an anxiety attack coming in, simply anger at his tactless mom. Although Phoebe was satisfied with Joey’s correction, it didn’t stop Nora from seeming like she was about to question it. Chandler closed his eyes.
“How is your new TV show going, mom ? The one with Wesley Snipes.” He asked, eager to turn the conversation away from their previous topic. He had no real interest in hearing about her work, considering she had a habit of treating it like her son, and not Chandler. Oh, what he’d do for friends.
“Oh it’s going wonderfully!”, she proudly announced. “That man is a delight, despite his color. Did you know, he’s actually an excellent actor !” She praised, however everyone else shifted uncomfortably and looked at Chandler. She was his mother, after all. His responsibility. He looked at her, in awe of her racism, oh how it was nice to be reminded of her judgment.
“Mom- you can’t think- you can’t say things like that ! Oh no wait, I should be grateful you’re not also using slurs. Thank you mother for being oh so respectful.” He scolded, acrimonious. With that, he got up and made his chair screech on the tile floor. “I’m going to the bathroom,” Chandler scoffed. Leaving his friends alone with Nora, he made a beeline for the toilet, too outraged to walk straight.
He arrived in the men’s toilet, surely the last place his mom would look for him, and splashed some water on his face. Joey would most likely barge in any second now, to calm him down. Chandler tried to make that job easier, by taking deep breaths and running cold water over his shaky hands. Breathe in, breathe out.
The bathroom door opened, and Chandler relaxed, finally in the presence of his significant other. The sound of heels echoed through the room and Chandler turned to find his mother in the men’s bathroom. She looked at him with thinly veiled disgust.
“I assumed that you’d decide to go in here,” she reprimanded.
“Mom, you can’t be here ! This is the men’s bathroom.” Chandler hissed, alarmed at the thought of someone else walking in.
“Well neither can you, Cheryl ! You’re my girl, whether or not you chop off your chest and sound like a man.” Nora cried, while slowly getting closer to Chandler, her hand reaching out.
“I love you, and I respect your decision, but this is insane, baby. You can’t spend your life deceiving everyone around you. You are a beautiful woman, you have a soft frame and delicate features, don't ruin all of that.” She begged kindly, trying to appeal to Chandler.
It only vexed and wounded him, to hear his mother declare her love for him all the while admitting that she’d never truly love him.
She loved this version of him she’d known, when he was a depressed little girl, desperately trying to keep his family together. She didn’t love her son, she loved an objectified version of him.
“I love you. So I’m going to get out there, and I’m going to ask for the check. And you’re not going to call me again, mom. I tried.” He vowed, with tears in his eyes, then walked past her and left the bathroom. Quickly drying his eyes, and taking a breath that truly did nothing to calm him down, he walked over to their private table, where his friends were holding their breaths.
Joey immediately noticed how pale Chandler looked and the redness of his eyes. Joey got up, meeting Chandler halfway. He stroked Chandler’s arm, although he would’ve preferred engulfing him in a hug.
“What happened ? She wouldn’t stay put, I’m so sorry teroso,” Joey murmured apologetically.
“I tried.”